iccfa magazine january 2016

M A G A Z I N E J a n u a r y 2 0 1 6

CEMETERY FUNERALCREMATION

ICCFA AnnuAl ConventIon & expo

InFormAtIon begIns on pAge 90regIstrAtIon Form: pAge 112

Keynote SpeaKerS and 30+ BreaKout SeSSionS

SpeCiaL eVentS, inCLuding Cemetery tour

JFda, pLpa, green BuriaL programS

With a tiny staff plus volunteers, Oakwood draws in the communitySpring Grove’s new bid for cremation clienteleCasual pizza & preneed approach works for HoffLemasters on the basics of proper disintermentsHow funeral directors can help family, friends in cases of suicideWhat people ask the Doyenne of DeathBecoming aware of how differences affect usNew Isard column: Cemetery ImpossibleVan Beck on trust

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6 ICCFA Magazine “Like” the ICCFA on Facebook & friend “ICCFA Staff ”

Top photo, clothes by Raleigh, North Carolina, designer Mia Pitillo, inpired by Historic Oakwood Cemetery. Photo by Jim Clark Stevenson. Story, page 36.Bottom photo, Spring Grove Cemetery’s new cremation garden. Story, page 22.The ICCFA convention program begins on page 90. Registration form, page 112.

16 managementThe right way to move Mom: Five basic steps to follow in any disin-terment No one likes to do disinterments, but some people make the experience worse, and create liability, by not taking the steps needed to make things run as smoothly as possible. by Poul Lemasters, Esq.

22 management/cremationSpring Grove’s new development puts cremation front and center Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum does not lack for cremation options. It offers just about everything, and thousands of cremation spaces are still available. But it recently opened a major new cremation development in order to expand the options for cremation families. interview of Gary Freytag, CCFE, by Susan Loving

28 preneed salesPizza & preplanning prove to be a winning combination How do you convince people to come to your funeral home to hear about the benefits of preplanning? Hoff Funeral has found success hosting informal events where good information is served along with pizza and drinks. interview of Sydney Smith by Susan Loving

36 community outreachOakwood’s past the key to its future as a place to visit, learn, remember Historic Oakwood Cemetery Executive Director Robin Simonton doesn’t have a sales or marketing staff. What she does have is a lot of ideas, a dedicated grounds crew and knowledgeable volunteers. Turns out, that’s enough. interview of Robin Simonton by Susan Loving

50 service to familiesFuneral staff as first responders: Helping families & friends when a loved one has died by suicide All grieving family members must be handled with compassion and care, but the families of those who have died of suicide require funeral directors and other funeral home staff to take extra care with how they respond to and help the survivors. by Tanya Scotece, CFSP, Ph.D., Amanda LeBlanc, MA, and Stephen Roggenbaum, MA

58 community outreachQuestions people ask about death—and death care When you carve out a career for yourself as an expert about death, you’re going to get some interesting questions from the public, and you’d better have some answers ready. by Gail Rubin, CT, CC

64 managementCemetery Impossible: Does this cemetery need more developed

10 President’s LetterValue, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder by Darin Drabing

12 Washington ReportSurvey finds most funeral homes disclose more than FTC requires by Robert M. Fells, Esq.

14 Letter to the EditorRamsey Creek Preserve’s Campbell disputes negative comments about natural/conservation burial grounds by Dr. Billy Campbell

16 Meet Your Association LeadersAllen Dave, Allen Dave Funeral Homes Abbie Brammer Quiocho, Gibraltar Yvan Rodrigue, Celebris

70 Supply Line

78 Update

89 New Members

113 Calendar

113 Classifieds

114 Ad Index

J a n u a r y 2 0 1 6 ta b l e o f c o n t e n t s

International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association ®:Promoting consumer choices, prearrangement and open competition

Providing exceptional education, networking and legislative guidance and support to progressive cemetery, funeral and cremation professionals worldwide

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property, or a better preneed sales program? Cemeteries, even those that benefit from combination ownership, face more challenges than ever these days. Starting in this issue, Dan Isard and his team will be providing cemeterians with options, advice and answers in this column. by Dan Isard, MSFS

67 managementBecoming aware of differences so we can work to bridge them Being aware that our social and cultural backgrounds affect our views is the first step to improving our interactions with others. by Shun Newbern, MS, CFSP

68 professional developmentThe keys to service: Trust As funeral and cemetery professionals, we need to establish trust and respect between ourselves and our client families. Merely saying “you can trust me” isn’t the way to do it. by Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE

90 continuing education Program for the ICCFA 2016 Convention & Exposition, April 13-16, Ernest N. Morial Convention Center & Hilton New Orleans Riverside 90 Expo hours 90 Special event: New Orleans Second Line to open the expo 91 General session keynote speakers Ken Blanchard, John Best, Jeannine English & Ryan Estis 92 Special events: Annual Meeting of Members; Educational Foundation Reception; Memorial Service; KIP Awards Presentation; Prayer Breakfast; First-Timers Reception; State Association Leadership Luncheon; Closing Reception & Dinner 94 Breakout sessions: Mary LaCoste; Hospice; Government & legal panel Special event: Funeral home & cemeteries tour Hotel reservation information 96 Cremation Central Live! 98 Management: Staff retention; Growing your business; Managing your portfolio; Gauging business health; Business strategy 100 Cemetery management: Cremation garden development; Small-town cemetery management; Using technology; Cemetery development; Sustainable cemeteries 102 Funeral service management: Legacy protection; Adding pet-loss services; Trauma & healing; Veterans benefits; Van Beck on the funerals of Lincoln & Davis 104 Sales & marketing: Staying relevant; Lead-generation; Funeral & cemetery marketing; Becoming the talk of the town; Preneed 106 Technology: Enhancing websites; Technology trends; Lead generation ICCFA convention corporate partners 108 Green services: Green burial prep; Green burial families; Restoration in a hybrid cemetery 110 PLPA educational track: Interior design; Succession planning; Growing revenue; Shaping the future; Roundtable Special events: PLPA Reception; 2nd Annual Pet Memorial Service 112 Convention registration form

t a B l e o f c o n t e n t sICCFA news

84 Wide World of Sales Register for the 2016 Sales Olympics before it’s too late!

84 Thank you to our sponsors86 Cremation certification programs

scheduled for 2016 2016 cremation training schedule

86 HURRY: 2016 music license prices increase February 1

88 Introducing the ICCFA Business Insurance Program

88 New ICCFA member benefit: Budget truck rental discount

88 Annual Meeting of Members Thursday, April 14

www.iccfa.comDirectorieswww.iccfa.com/directories• Web Expo directory of suppliers and

professionals• Association directory• Industry event calendar

Cremation Coaching Centerwww.iccfa.com/cremation

ICCFA Café • Links to news and feature stories from all over

the world

ICCFA calendar

2016 Wide World of sales conference January 13-15 Monte Carlo Resort & Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada

2016 annual convention & exposition April 13-16 Ernest N. Morial Convention Center & Hilton New Orleans Riverside, New Orleans, Louisiana Co-Chairs: Jay Dodds, CFSP, and Lee Longino

2016 iccfa universityJuly 22-27 Fogelman Conference Center, Memphis, Tennessee Chancellor:Jeff Kidwiler, CCE, CSE

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n To apply for ICCFA membership:➤ Download an application at www.iccfa.com, or➤ Call 1.800.645.7700

Value, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder

[email protected]

➤Drabing is president and CEO of Forest Lawn Memorial-Parks & Mortuaries.www.forestlawn.com

by iccfa 2015-2016 president darin B. drabing

People see the world through many different lenses. I believe that’s what makes life so interesting. From an ever-evolving world

stage filled with geopolitical posturing and military actions to passionate restaurant reviews and allegiances built through binge-watching the newest television series, our society has no shortage of viewpoints and an ever-increasing social media platform from which to express them.

We are an opinionated bunch, that’s for sure. And, more often than not, we tend to see things differently. As an old friend often reminds me: “That’s why God made vanilla, chocolate and strawberry!”

Those in our profession see the world from a broad perspective as well, especially when it comes to deciding where we spend our time on professional development and trade association participation. As with ice cream flavors, we have many choices.

We all have a certain appreciation for various aspects of a particular trade association that drive us to make the decision to participate—something that draws us in, a value proposition.

Maybe it’s the access to new vendors through a trade show or exposition hall.

Perhaps it’s an educational forum that satisfies one’s appetite for lifelong learning or the impor-tance of legislative advocacy on issues that are aligned with your beliefs.

It could be something as simple as the comraderie we experience when we see old friends at an annual meeting.

Or, maybe you haven’t really questioned why you belong; you simply renew a membership established by a previous generation.

Whatever the reasons, those who actively participate in the ICCFA find value in their membership, as do I.

The ICCFA, like no other association, provides a cavalcade of experiences where its members receive a phenomenal return on their investment. Whether it’s summer’s ICCFA University in Memphis, the Fall Management Conference, cremation training seminars held throughout the year across the country, the Annual Convention & Exposition or the Wide World of Sales Conference in Las Vegas in January, there awaits an abundance of valuable experiences for our members to engage in.

These meetings are only a fraction of what the ICCFA offers, including the tremendous value we receive in free access to tax, cremation and labor law attorneys; complimentary Funeral Rule compliance reviews; music licensing; discount programs; and so much more.

I find great value in all that’s available to me as a member of the ICCFA. However, if you’re not a member, or you have never attended an ICCFA event before and are wondering where you should start, I have a suggestion.

Our co-chairs, Jay Dodds and Lee Longino, are finalizing the details for our Annual Convention & Exposition in New Orleans, and they have put together an impressive cast of keynote speakers you won’t want to miss.

With a world-class exposition hall providing access to countless vendors, including many first-time exibitors, this is your opportunity to explore new products and services and reconnect with your current suppliers.

The ICCFA Annual Convention & Exposition is also the “go-to” place for continuing education where you can choose from a variety of indivi-dual tracks including cremation, funeral home manage ment, cemetery operations and pet loss (just to name a few), or you could jump around among them to satisfy your interests.

It’s also the place to go to gain the inside scoop on the legislative issues at the federal and state levels that affect your business and our profession. All that, and you get the opportunity to visit with old friends, meet new ones and enjoy the great city of New Orleans.

Food, fun, friends and a focus on funeral service with a full lineup of fascinating speakers, all in an exciting city, sound like a recipe for success to me.

Come join me in New Orleans and experience the value of the ICCFA for yourself. Our 2016 Annual Convention & Exposition is definitely worth the price of admission and will serve as your gateway to all that is the ICCFA! r

President’s Letter

f Check us out on Facebook!“Like” us and friend “ICCFA Staff.”

The ICCFA, like no otherassociation, provides a cavalcade of experiences where its members receive a phenomenal returnon their investment.

bringing ourprofession together

ICCFA ANNUAL CONVENTION

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iccfa.com/join Membership That Matters.

We are putting the next generation in the driver’s seat. ICCFA understands the importance of developing the next generation of leaders for our industry. We

are dedicated to engaging and encouraging future progressive leadership.

As part of our commitment to the future, we have a Next Generation Committee that o�ers NextGen networking events, scholarships to ICCFA educational

events, specialty breakout sessions at our annual convention, and a Facebook community dedicated to your education and career development. Also, ICCFA

University is especially great for bringing newcomers to our profession up-to-speed quickly.

Join us and get your first year of membership for only $245.Visit iccfa.com/next.

WHERE TO NEXT?


[email protected], ext. 1212direct line: 703.391.8401

➤Fells is ICCFA executive

director and general counsel, responsible for maintaining and improving relationships with federal and state government agencies, the news media, consumer organizations and related trade associations.

by iccfa general counsel robert m. fells, esq.

Recently, the Funeral Consumer Alliance (FCA) and the Consumer Federation of America (CFA) published a survey

of funeral home prices in 10 U.S. metropolitan areas. FCA/CFA randomly selected 15 funeral homes in 10 areas: Atlanta, Georgia; Denver, Colorado; Indianapolis, Indiana; Mercer County, New Jersey; Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota; Orange County, California; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Seattle, Washington; Tucson, Arizona; and Washington, D.C.

According to a press release, each funeral home selected had a website; the survey was meant to determine how many posted their prices on their websites. The survey also was designed to see how many of these funeral homes provided price information by email when contacted by email. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, providers have never been required to post their prices on their websites or send them by email. The rule does requires that written price lists must be given to anyone who inquires in person at the funeral home or who asks for prices over the phone.

FCA/CFA summarized the results of their survey as follows: only 38 (25 percent) of the 150 funeral homes selected fully disclosed prices on their websites. And 24 funeral homes (16 percent) did not disclose prices on their websites or in response to email or a phone call. Also, the prices disclosed indicated a wide variety of prices for similar goods among various funeral homes. These results were considered negative by FCA/CFA, and the news media followed this lead unquestioningly.

However, the FCA website provided additional data for each of the 10 cities surveyed. This data showed the following: of the 150 funeral

homes surveyed, 134 gave the price information requested—even though they were not legally required to do so. In fact, five of the 10 cities had 100 percent compliance with the requested information. Of the remaining five cities, 16 of the 75 funeral homes provided none of the requested price data. FCA/CFA claimed the number to be 24, not 16, but examination of the individual city data showed only 16 funeral homes were indicated.

The survey measured prices in three areas: direct cremation, immediate burial and full funeral. The high and low price points in each city were thousands of dollars apart. Typically, this would indicate vigorous price competition, but FCA/CFA claimed the range is confusing and therefore bad for the public. This conclusion makes one wonder what would be said had all the prices been similar. Antitrust specialists could infer price fixing from such uniform pricing.

More troubling is the way pricing is shoehorned into three categories. A direct cremation will include different things with different providers; the same is true in the case of direct burial and full funerals. By over-generalizing, the survey ends up comparing proverbial apples and oranges.

The bottom line of the FCA/CFA survey is to call on the Federal Trade Commission to require funeral providers to post their prices on their websites, and to send them by email on request. This move would require amending the Funeral Rule, which is currently scheduled for review in 2018. FCA/CFA points to California law as a precedent for requiring the posting of funeral prices on websites, but it seems that California doesn’t actually require this. r

Survey finds most funeral homes disclose more than FTC requires

Washington Report

January 2016VOLUME 76/NUMBER 1

iccfa officersDarin B. Drabing, presidentMichael Uselton, CCFE, president-electJay D. Dodds, CFSP, vice presidentPaul Goldstein, vice presidentChristine Toson Hentges, CCE,vice presidentScott R. Sells, CCFE, vice presidentGary M. Freytag, CCFE, treasurerDaniel L. Villa, secretaryRobert M. Fells, Esq., executive director &general counsel

magazine staffSusan Loving, managing [email protected]

Rick Platter, supplier relations [email protected]; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1213

Robert Treadway, director ofcommunications & member [email protected]; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1224

Katherine Devins, communications [email protected]; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1218

Robert M. Fells, Esq., executive director &[email protected] ; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1212

Brenda Clough, office administrator& association [email protected]; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1214

Daniel Osorio, subscription coordinator (habla español)[email protected]; 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1215

ICCFA Magazine (ISSN 1936-2099) is pub-lished by the International Cemetery, Crema-tion and Funeral Association®, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468; 703.391.8400; FAX 703.391.8416; www.iccfa.com. Published 10 times per year, with combined issues in March-April and August-September. Periodicals postage paid at Sterling, VA, and other offices. Copyright

2016 by the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association. Subscription rates: In the United States, $39.95; in Canada, $45.95; overseas: $75.95. One subscription is included in annual membership dues. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to ICCFA Magazine, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468. Individual written contributions, commentary and advertisements appearing in ICCFA Magazine do not necessarily reflect either the opinion or the endorsement of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association®.

MORe FROM THIS AuTHOR, ABOuT THIS SuBJeCT➤Funeral Radio. ICCFA General Counsel Robert Fells, Esq., talks about legal and legislative issues affecting funeral, cemetery and cremation businesses, includ-ing the FCA/CFA survey, at www.funeralradio.comMORe ReSOuRCeS➤Wireless. ICCFA members, send us your email address and we’ll send you our bi-weekly electronic newsletter full of breaking news.

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Letter to the Editor

Ramsey Creek Preserve’s Campbell disputes negative comments about natural/conservation burial grounds

ICCFA Magazine featured the Campbell’s Ramsey Creek Preserve, the country’s first green cem-etery, in a 2003 issue.

To the editor:Thanks to ICCFA for the excellent article (November 2015) on Mount Elliott’s award-winning natural burial project, The Preserve. We consulted with the cemetery when they were considering a green project, and were taken by the possibilities of the nearly blank-slate site and surrounding beauty that would become The Preserve.

It is truly a remarkable site, and Mount Elliott, along with landscape architect Jack

Goodnoe, have created what might be the best green/hybrid cemetery (a natural cemetery attached to a conventional cemetery) in the entire country.

However, we take issue with several opinions and statements Goodnoe offered about larger, freestanding natural-area

projects, cremation and the idea that contemporary cemeterians have a lock on how to create, market and run a memorial space, particularly one devoted to native flora and fauna. We take special exception with the idea that only contemporary cemeterians know how to care for families.

Contrary to Goodnoe’s statement, when a contemporary cemetery opens a green section, the chief economic advantage is the ability to share staff, infrastructure and equipment, on land the cemetery already owns. The low marginal cost for creating a green section allows profit at lower sale volumes than would be needed for a freestanding start-up that has to purchase land, pay and train all new staff, build infrastructure and purchase equipment.

Running a cemetery is not all that differ-ent from other businesses as far as setting prices, marketing, selecting and training employees and maintaining infrastructure. Yes, there is a learning curve, but several of the natural area projects have been

around for almost 10 years or more, and are financially successful.

Effectively caring for and comforting the bereaved requires empathy and skill, but in our experience this aptitude is not critically rare, and those with it are readily trained. Keep in mind that many of us who are involved in conservation burial come from backgrounds that give us a leg up when dealing with death and bereavement. I am a conservationist, but I am also a family doctor and hospice director.

The Monastery of the Holy Spirit, which operates the most successful green burial operation to date (The Honey Creek Woodlands), certainly has some expertise with mortality and grieving. We have also been gratified to find a growing number of individuals in the cemetery and funeral business who are anxious to be involved with conservation cemeteries (and who in some cases need retraining).

Competence in maintaining a lawn cemetery does not necessarily provide the skill set to restore and maintain the grounds of a natural cemetery. Nor does being good at selling lawn plots and mausoleum crypts magically translate into effectively communicating with and marketing to those upper-middle income, educated, green-leaning individuals we find attracted to the natural area sites, including, among others, those concerned about price, sportsmen and conservative, traditional evangelicals in our area.

These clients often seek us out because protecting land resonates with their core values, and helps them feel they are part of something positive that will extend beyond their lifetimes. Families of those buried at conservation sites have become passionate advocates of these projects and what we do.

Goodnoe says green cemeteries “should be run like cemeteries, not like natural areas,” but these operations are not mutually exclusive. It sounds an awful lot like denying the need for innovation and the development of new skills. Our clients want to be buried in a beautiful setting that will be managed like a natural area.

Isn’t it all about serving the needs and preferences of families and clients? Some people want a lawn, some want a tidy

landscape with native plants and others want something more natural. We suggest that larger projects have a more “tame” area with eco-revelatory design for visitor contact (and burials for those who prefer this type of setting), with the larger area devoted to restoring wild landscapes.

Apparently Goodnoe sees the larger size of natural area projects as a negative: “You should minimize your consumption of land, not maximize it.” He is completely missing the point. Conservation burial projects—our 1998 Ramsey Creek Preserve in South Carolina being the prototype—don’t “consume” land, they ecologically restore and protect natural habitats that had been previously “consumed.”

Through careful land selection, imple-mentation of restoration ecology techniques and careful design of infrastructure, these projects take degraded properties and create high quality natural landscapes that complement landscape-level/regional conservation efforts.

These spaces provide the public with beautiful surroundings for burial, yes, but also for weddings, educational venues, bird watching, hiking, photography and other compatible uses.

Conservation burial is another tool in the toolbox for healing and protecting land and for helping to cement the bonds between human communities and the natural communities they depend upon.

Goodnoe also said, “If you have a park of 100 acres and every place in it that you want to walk has someone buried in it, it’s a different environment from a regular park.” Goodnoe fails to realize that people are not buried evenly thoughout the landscape.

At Ramsey Creek, and most other projects we have seen, burials are clustered, with large areas of the project off limits for burial. But even where burials occur, the feeling and appearance is not that of a contemporary cemetery. As we tell our clients, if the project looks and feels like a cemetery, we have failed.

But of course it is not like a “regular park.” Anything but. We think the presence of graves can help people see nature in a new light.

It is not by accident that most older

Start every day at the ICCFA Café at www.iccfa.com January 2016 15

churches have associated cemeteries. The presence of graves at these churches is not “creepy” and does not dominate the meaning of what the church is, but it helps give a sense of place and generational history to the grounds, along with reminders of mortality—but also about rebirth and life.

At conservation cemeteries, we want the sights and sounds of life to dominate. This profusion of life does not belittle the reality of the burials, but for many (including me) it helps soften grief and loss. Not surprisingly, conservation burial projects get substantial visitation from a public that does not seem to be put off as Goodnoe implies. In fact, at least one project is concerned about crowd control to preserve the serenity and sanctity of the place.

Finally, all of the conservation burial projects I know gladly take cremated remains. It is the right choice for many families due to expense, simplicity and other issues. It is the second greenest option.

But Goodnoe again takes it further, making the case that cremation is the greenest option because “[burial] take(s) up

10 times as much land.” He also says that since we all use a lot of gas in our day-to-day lives, we should not be concerned about cremation using the fossil fuel equivalent of a tank-full of gas for an SUV.

We do not think that deciding which option is “less bad” for the environment should be the starting point, but rather which option does the most good things on balance. To repeat, our projects to not “consume land;” interment sites become areas of intense restoration with special and rare species.

Cremation itself consumes fossil fuels and turns the body’s life-giving nutrients into air pollution; cremations will use the equivalent of 25 million gallons of gasoline this year (enough to propel a hybrid sedan 1.25 billion miles), while releasing 320 pounds of mercury and 270,000 tons of CO2, along with some toxic sulfurous and nitrogenous gasses. Thankfully, this is not enough to have a significant impact on our overall air quality. However, green cemeterians need to innovate to make the process a net positive rather than trivializing

and “normalizing” negatives.I think that for many of us, deciding

about our final disposition is quite different from deciding whether to drive to the beach this weekend. If what is left of me can help protect and nourish a natural area, rather than go up a smokestack, that is what I want.

But when cremated remains help restore habitat, be it terrestrial or reef habitats, the net effect for the environment is over-whelmingly positive. Where a forest is being restored (and carbon is captured by the growing trees), the net carbon release is eliminated or greatly reduced. Those who are still concerned can purchase carbon credits for only a few dollars.

We in the conservation burial community applaud The Preserve’s well-deserved award, but do not see such projects as the very pinnacle of green disposition. Certainly the public deserves an array of choices, and we object to ill-informed derisive comments by those who should know better. Dr. Billy Campbell, Memorial Ecosystems Inc., Westminster, South Carolina

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management

Disinterments are a fantastic revenue source—says the attorney. OK, that may be a bit strong

and is probably cynical, assuming that disinterments are lawsuits waiting to happen. Every disinterment does not lead to a lawsuit or a problem.

However, any disinterment can turn into a lawsuit or a problem. A disinterment is a huge potential liability and great care should be exercised when performing one. What exactly does that mean?

Every disinterment is different, so there is no way for one article to deal with all the issues that need to be addressed. But there are some basics that should be considered when you are handling or participating in a disinterment.

Consider this list of five items the basics, or better yet the minimum, of what should be done when you—or the family—decide it’s time to move Mom.

1. InvestigateAdmit it; everyone wants to know the reason someone is being disinterred. And now you are being advised to dig for the dirt—before you actually dig. Why? Because of the history of disinterments.

Historically, courts do not support disin terments. In fact, courts today still use language such as: “We, the court, disfavor disinterments” and “The court believes that a body should not be disturbed once it is laid in its place of final rest.”

Because courts do not typically favor disinterments, if you end up in court over a problem with a disinterment, the court is going to look upon you with disfavor right from the start.

The court is going to want to hear a good reason for the disinterment. So, what is a good reason? Don’t misunderstand; it is not your job to decide if the reason is good enough. But when you hear

the family’s reason, you can probably recognize a potential problem, and take steps to avoid it.

As one quick example, imagine two children wanting to disinter their mother so she can be laid to rest in a cemetery closer to her home. Sounds fair; sounds reasonable.

But what if, after doing some investi-gating, you learn that there is other family and the two children are doing this to spite the rest of the family? You may not be able to stop the process, but you could get a stronger release signed to protect the cemetery from potential issues.

2. Decide on participationIf everyone wants to know why the disin-terment is happening, the next thing many people want is to watch. The question is, do you want the family to watch? Are they allowed to watch? Can you stop them from watching?

Many of the answers to these questions will depend on the specific facts of the case. But there is one constant: You can at least identify what the family’s participation will be.

By identifying ahead of time who will participate in the “viewing,” you will at least be in a better position to prepare for the situation. Furthermore, you can also include appropriate language in your release, depending on the involvement of the family.

3. Define responsibilitiesThe funny thing about a disinterment is that everyone involved thinks it is someone else’s job. The cemetery thinks the funeral home is responsible, because the funeral home gets permits. The funeral home thinks it’s the cemetery’s job, because the cemetery digs the grave. And guess what? The vault company typically

No one likes to do disinterments, but some people make the experience worse, and create liability, by not taking the steps

needed to make things run as smoothly as possible.

The right way to move MomFive basic steps to follow in any disinterment

by poul lemasters, esq.

[email protected]

➤Lemasters is principal of Lemasters Consulting, Cincinnati, Ohio.www.lemastersconsulting.com ➤He is an attorney and funeral director, graduated from the Cincinnati College of Mortuary Science in 1996 and from North-ern Kentucky University, Chase College of Law, in 2003. He is licensed as a funeral director and embalmer in Ohio and West Virginia and admitted to practice law in Ohio and Kentucky.

ICCFA Magazine author spotlight

➤ Go to www.iccfa.com to the Crema-tion Support section, where you can post a question for Lemasters to answer.

ICCFA membership benefit➤He is the ICCFA’s special crema-tion legal counsel. ICCFA members in good standing may call him to discuss cremation-related legal issues for up to 20 minutes at no charge to the member. The association pays for this service via an exclusive retainer.➤Lemasters also provides, to ICCFA mem-bers in good standing, free GPL reviews to check for Funeral Rule compliance.

MORe FROM THIS AuTHOR Lemasters will be part of the Cremation Central Live! program at the ICCFA 2016 Convention & Expo, April 13-16, in New Orleans,

Louisiana, speaking about “Cremation Headaches: How to Handle the Day-to-Day issues.” See page 96.


In fact, disinterments involve everyone: the cemetery, the funeral home,the vault company and the family. If it goes right, no one knows who did what.

If it goes wrong, everyone gets blamed.

does everything, even though they are otherwise the least involved in the process!

In fact, disinterments involve everyone: the cemetery, the funeral home, the vault company and the family. If it goes right, no one knows who did what. If it goes wrong, everyone gets blamed.

Take time to identify which parties are going to be responsible for what portions of the process. That way you can identify potential issues.

As an example, to mention one common issue where no one assumes responsibility, consider the vault and casket being disinterred. In a perfect world, the vault and casket are disinterred and then reinterred in a new spot.

However, in the real world, the casket and vault may not be able to be reused. So who is responsible for obtaining the new vault and/or casket?

More important, who is responsible for the disposal of the old casket and/or vault? Does anyone even have permission from the family to dispose of these items?

Identifying these responsibilities in the beginning avoids issues at the time of the disinterment.

4. CommunicateNo one likes to be left in the dark. It is important to make sure everyone, family included, knows the status of the disinterment. (As an aside, many lawsuits

have some element of poor communication as a basis. Failure to communicate can generate anger and be all it takes to spur people to file a lawsuit.)

All parties must communicate. Items that are easily taken care of with proper communication can grow into contentious issues when parties do not take the time to communicate.

Consider the timing of a disinterment. A disinterment is not typically a quick process, so it’s important to communicate to the family how long it might take.

Also, many times the disinterment takes additional manpower and equipment, so do not plan on calling around and scheduling a disinterment the day before and expect to be able to make it work.

This might seem to fly in the face of common sense, but many times funeral homes, cemeteries and vault companies fail to communicate. Let’s face it: Some-times they don’t like to talk to each other at all. Take the time to communicate among all parties involved about the status of the disinterment to help avoid issues that could affect everyone.

5. Document everythingThere is no way an attorney is going to tell you not to document everything, and this case is no exception. Documenting every step of the disinterment process is critical. With all the potential issues that can arise,

you need everything possible to protect you.Where do you start with documentation?

A “Disinterment/Reinterment Authorization and Release” is probably a good place to start. (If you are an ICCFA member, please visit the ICCFA Member Resource Area for a sample disinterment form.) While no one document is bulletproof, a release is a good place to start.

Make sure any release you use contains some of the items listed above as well as language that protects your business. This means that your company, whether you are the funeral home, cemetery or vault company, is identified and provided some protection for your involvement.

Again, this is not a complete list of everything you need when conducting a disinterment, but it is a good place to start, and it does cover some of the basics. By implementing these steps and incorporating your own best practices, you can make disinterments a safer practice. r

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ICCFA Member Benefit:To download Poul Lemasters’ sample Disinterment/ Reinterment Authorization Form, visit the ICCFA Member Resource Area at www.iccfa.com.


Allen Dave, Allen Dave Funeral Homes

[email protected]➤Allen L. Dave Jr., CFue, is president and general manager of Death Care Management & Financial Group, LLC, DBA Allen Dave Funeral Homes of Texas. The home office is located in Houston. He also serves as vice president for Letum Inc., based in Pennsylvania and operat-ing cemeteries and funeral homes in Louisiana, New York, Pennsylvania, Texas and Washington.www.AllenDave.com

by iccfa Board member allen dave Jr., cfue

Why did you choose to work in cemetery and/or funeral service?As a wedding event planner, turning to funeral directing was a simple transition for me. I went from owning and operating a wedding event business for more than 20 years and creating meaningful wedding celebrations to death care.

I survived my first five years by serving the families of the brides in my database going back 20 years. They had trusted me with their weddings, and now with their funerals. I have performed many services for the parents and grandparents of previous brides and grooms.

My goal is to provide beautiful funerals and memorials, similar to what I did when handling weddings. All of our funeral homes are designed for warmth, elegance and beautiful reception centers.What is the best experience you’ve ever had in your job?The experience of a lifetime happened this past summer. A family in Houston tragically lost eight members. During this horrific time, leading my experienced team of directors, embalmers and restorative artists was challenging. It was a difficult week at every level, having to control the media and plan a funeral for eight by telephone. Very few funeral directors will have this rare opportunity to serve this many at one time.

Nevertheless, it turned out to be a good experience. They trusted us 100 percent to handle everything. We hosted a funeral planned without having met in person with anyone from the families of the deceased. Everything imaginable happened, but the families were well served. It was a great feeling of accomplishment.What was the most difficult experience, and what did you learn from it?The most difficult experience involved a crema-tion, the highest risk area in our profession. We had a family request a private viewing followed by immediate cremation to be witnessed. We place the deceased into the chamber, hit start and then a family member arrived late and wanted to view the deceased. We had to stop the cremation process imme diately and remove the body to allow this last request, which we would not have been able to do if she had arrived just three minutes later.

This was the most stressful time-sensitive issue of my career. We changed our policy and now require the crematory operator to receive one final signature by legal next-of-kin prior to hitting the start button

Meet Your Association Leaders

My goal is to provide beautiful funerals and memorials, similar to what I did when handling weddings.

Offering white glove service at Allen Dave Funeral Homes of Texas, from left, Anthony McDuff, administration manager; Pam Girdy, funeral director in charge and location manager; Betty Denkins, hospitality director; Fran Feming, sales director; and owner Allen Dave, CFue.


during a witnessed cremation.What was the most unusual request you ever had from a family (or client) and how did you handle it?The deceased had loved watching movies at the theater, including date nights with his wife and family. The family requested popcorn to be placed with Dad into the cremation casket prior to entry into the crematory chamber.

The family witnessed the cremation and loved hearing the pops within the first minutes of the cremation process. They laughed and clapped: Dad goes out with a bang!

Then, we placed the cremated remains into a movie-theater-style popcorn bag prior to closing and securing the cremation urn. That’s personalization on a new level.What advice would you give to young people just starting out in this profession?I would recommend entry-level profes sionals to take additional educational classes in debate, communications, accounting, sales and marketing to prepare them for general and conflict management.

Funeral directors and other service providers who are able to control their arrangement conferences by clearly explaining every detail in planning and understanding the difference in products will be valuable funeral professionals.What do you see as the biggest benefits of ICCFA membership?

ICCFA University has been my best benefit of ICCFA membership. Attendance has provided the blueprint of my business success. The ICCFA advanced my career further than anything else available.

In 2003, I was the rookie with no experience in death care at any level. Today, I own four funeral homes, one cemetery and one crematory plus serve as vice president for Letum Inc., managing an additional three funeral homes, five cemeteries and a crematory. Combined we serve over 1,700 families in Texas and Louisiana.Why did you wish to serve as an ICCFA board member?My objectives were to position myself to be around the leaders within death care. The knowledge and resources of other board members are valuable. Obtaining insight into the industry from progressive leaders is rewarding.What is the biggest challenge facing the profession, and how is the ICCFA working to address it?The number one challenge is how we get cremation families to value final disposition in a cemetery. Cemeteries are facing revenue declines from cremation families not selecting a final resting place. The rich heritage of cemeteries can be lost in future generations.

Many families are turning their living rooms into cemeteries with our beautiful urns.

What’s happening to all of the crema tion urns when current households die and no other family member wants the urn?

Cemeteries must create more cremation gardens and embrace cremation families.What are your outside interests?I love being out on the lake, taking my boat out and relaxing, sharing stories and making memories with family and friends.Who are your heroes/role models?My death-care role models are Todd W. Van Beck, Robert Lomison, Eldridge Thompson, James Price, Ernie Heffner, Mark Krause, Bob Horn, Nancy Lohman and John Horan.If you could “do lunch” today with anyone in the world, living or dead, whom would you choose and why?I would select Oprah, in the best interest of death care. I think it’s going to take someone on this level talking to women about the importance of ceremonial and funeral rituals and the importance of the cemetery to create change.

Why have many civilizations celebrated death with generational rituals while today’s generation is moving toward “fast and simple”? If things don’t change, cremation is going to cause fallout in future generations. Families will have no place to go to mourn, reflect and continue their history. Cemeteries are our best hope to continue heritage at its finest. r

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The family requested popcorn to be placed with dad into the cremation casket prior to entry into the crematory chamber. The family witnessed the cremation and loved hearing the pops within

the first minutes of the cremation process. They laughed and clapped: Dad goes out with a bang!


Abbie Brammer Quiocho, Gibraltar

[email protected]

➤Abbie Brammer Quiocho is director of business development for Gibraltar Remembrance Services, Indianapolis, Indiana.www.crownhill.orgwww.washelli.comwww.kays-ponger.comwww.ivey-rosehill.comwww.leppertmortuary.comwww.newcrowncemetery.comwww.elmridgefuneralhome.comwww.cascadememorial.com

by iccfa Board member abbie Brammer Quiocho

Why did you choose to work in cemetery and/or funeral service?My family had been in the cemetery and funeral industry, and I grew up visiting funeral homes and cemeteries during family vacations.

When I was graduating from college, my dad asked if I would be interested in joining Gibraltar Remembrance Services. At the time, I thought it would be a great opportunity to get experience and have a more valuable learning experience.

Ten years later, I have found the industry very rewarding and challenging, so it is a great fit for me.What is the best experience you’ve ever had in your job?In Indianapolis, Crown Hill and Leppert Mortuary supported a local 8-year-old’s efforts to raise money for police officers to have bulletproof vest plates. We used social media to show our support, and donated 50 cents for every new Facebook like to their pages.

All the local news stations covered our support, and we donated $1,048.50 after the month-long campaign. It was really rewarding to support a good cause and to inspire a youth in our community to make a difference.

I am now friends with the family and we keep in touch on a personal level.What was the most difficult experience, and what did you learn from it?A few difficult experiences have led me to learn that I will make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to take a chance for fear of making a mistake. It is how you learn from those mistakes and move forward that matters the most.What advice would you give to young people just starting out in this profession?Consider the lessons you learn from others and draw from your own passion to be successful. Learn as much from others as you can. Observe the lessons they have learned and understand what has made them successful in this profession.

Your passion and unique perspective make a difference in how you serve families and adapt to the changes in our industry.What do you see as the biggest benefits of ICCFA membership?There are many benefits to ICCFA membership. The networking is at the top of the list. Meeting other people in the same industry and sharing ideas has been very beneficial to my career. It is very impressive how willing everyone is to share ideas and to encourage each other.Why did you wish to serve as an ICCFA board

member/officer?The ICCFA is a progressive and forward-thinking organization. Through the ICCFA events and my involvement with the Next Generation Committee, I wanted to become more involved with the association. To help serve the organization and be part of its future is very rewarding, and I am honored to be a member of the board.What is the biggest challenge facing the profession, and how is the ICCFA working to address it?In my opinion, one of the biggest challenges facing the profession is the value perception from the families we serve, especially cremation families. Businesses must be constantly vigilant of market trends and be able to communicate the value of their services.

The ICCFA recognizes the challenge and consistently provides educational opportunities to learn more about how to serve families.What are your outside interests?My husband and I just welcomed our first child, Connor. He is a sweet little boy whom we enjoy giving our time and attention to. I also enjoy snow skiing, reading, barre and yoga.

I strongly support empowering young women and have been a volunteer with Girls Inc. to teach them life skills such as communication and personal finance.Who are your heroes/role models?I am very lucky to have amazing parents, Jay and


Don’t be afraid to take a chance for fear of making a mistake. It is how you learn from those mistakes and move forward that matters the most.

Quiocho with James Mullikin, former director of cemetery operations at Crown Hill Funeral Home & Cemetery when the company helped a local boy’s efforts to raise money for police officers to have bulletproof vest plates.

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Becky Brammer, who are excellent role models. My mom has always been very giving of her time to organizations and charities. She gives her all and is always very engaged in the organization. She inspires me to do my best and to be invested

in my interests and activities.Not only is my dad very intelligent,

he is also an extremely hard worker. His persistence in learning to look at everything from a different angle inspires me to try the same. In the workplace, he is a great person to bounce problems and

ideas off of because he always gives me a fresh perspective.

My dad has always had a great work ethic, but he always balances his work with family. He sets a great example on how to be a successful professional while being involved with his family. r

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Yvan Rodrigue, Celebris

[email protected]

➤Yvan Rodrigue is presi-dent and COO of Celebris, Montréal and Québec, Canadawww.lepinecloutier.comwww.urgelbourgie.com

by iccfa Board member yvan rodrigueWhy did you choose to work in cemetery and/or

funeral service?It’s a privilege to accompany people during such an important milestone in life as the passing of a loved one. Being there for a family who has lost a member is very important for me so that I can help them with the grieving process and celebrate the life of their loved one.What is the best experience you’ve ever had in your job?After taking care of a family in providing our cemetery services, I became close with the father of the deceased. When he retired from his job, he decided to join our team and work with us. What was the most difficult experience you’ve ever had in your job, and what did you learn from it?At the beginning of my career, I had to help a family dealing with their son’s suicide. Their son was my age, so it was very difficult not to be affected by their loss. It made me realize that life is so short. Every life is important and every person matters.What advice would you give to young people just starting out in this profession?Take the time to talk to and learn from the people who have worked in the funeral industry for a long time. The experience and expertise of previous generations can teach a lot of important lessons.What do you see as the biggest benefits of ICCFA membership?The opportunity to meet and share experiences with colleagues from different regions of North America. We all share the same new opportunities and challenges. Being with peers helps to further both our profession and improve our services.Why did you wish to serve as an ICCFA board member/officer?I wanted to share my experience as a funeral home president and as a funeral association president in the Canadian province that has the

highest cremation rate in North America. I believe that I can provide insights into the trends and issues impacting our industry. What is the biggest challenge facing the profession, and how is the ICCFA working to address it?Cremation is the biggest challenge that we are facing; it is changing the industry landscape as we know it. The ICCFA’s annual conference has continuously addressed this challenge in order to help funeral homes and cemeteries adapt to this ever-growing trend.What are your outside interests?I’m very fond of outdoor activities. I do a lot of hiking, tree planting and fishing. Being outdoors keeps me grounded. Who are your heroes/role models?My dad is my role model. His advice and guidance have helped me my whole life. He’s a caring father and always put his family first. I admire his approach to life.If you could “do lunch” today with anyone in the world, living or dead, whom would you choose and why?I would definitely have lunch with Michael Eisner. He was the president of the Walt Disney Co. for many years. I’m very impressed by his work for the company—he’s a real self-made man. His creativity and his leadership are truly remarkable. r


At the beginning of my career, I had to help a family dealing with their son’s suicide. Their son was my age so it was very difficult not to be affected by their loss. It made me realize that life is so short. Every life is important and every person matters.


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CREMATION

Spring Grove Cemetery and Arboretum in Cincinnati, Ohio, offers families many cremation options, and

those gardens are not running out of space. Nevertheless, the cemetery recently unveiled a new $1.3 million cremation garden in a prime location close to the historic cemetery’s entrance.

Spring Grove already had thousands of cremation spaces available before this new development opened. The Fountain of Remembrance’s walls provide 1,250 double niches, and there are 400 individual interment spaces available in the flower beds.

“If you asked me how many cremation spaces Spring Grove has, I would say thousands,” Spring Grove President and CEO Gary Freytag, CCFE, said. “We offer ground interment and columbarium niches—glassfront niches, a waterfall complex. We offer everything but scattering, though we have a walking trail with biodegradable

urns—our version of scattering.“But what we’re trying to do is give

the cremation customer more variety. So the development we’ve done recently is in product offerings we didn’t offer previously: a cremation nature trail, glassfront niches and this development.”

“Interestingly, I brought my parents, who are the classic cremation customers, to the cemetery. I took them to the Fountain of Remembrance and my father loved it, thought it was fantastic. My mother hated it, didn’t like the feel. I took them to the nature trail and my mother loved that, while dad said, ‘Absolutely no way.’

“They’re leaving the decision to me, of course. So I’m probably going to put half of their remains in each section.”

The new Fountain of Remembrance cremation garden places cremation front and center at Spring Grove. It provides a spacious yet intimate setting where families can gather

Spring Grove’s new development puts cremation front and center

➤Gary Freytag, CCFE, is president and CEO of the Spring Grove Family, including Spring Grove Cemetery, Gwen Mooney Funeral Homes and Oak Hill Cemetery. He joined Spring Grove in 2003 and is responsible for all aspects of the organiza tion, which handles more than 1,600 cemetery and 950 funeral services annually.➤Freytag is ICCFA treasurer, former secretary and a former member of the ICCFA Board of Directors. He is dean of the ICCFAU College of Administration and Management.➤He earned a bachelor’s degree in economics from Dartmouth College in 1984 and a master’s degree in business administration from Harvard University. He has a wide variety of business expe r ience, including serving as vice president and treasurer for Eagle Picher, a manufacturing organization with 25 divisions and nearly $1 billion in revenue worldwide.➤Freytag is a member of the Cemetery Council, the Historic Cemetery Alliance and the Death Care Management Council.

➤Spring Grove Cemetery was chartered in 1845 and is one of the largest nonprofit cemeteries in the United States. Approximately 450 of its 750 acres are developed. www.springgrove.org

interview by ICCFA Magazinemanaging editor Susan Loving

ICCFA Magazine subject spotlightSpring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum does not lackfor cremation options. It offers just about everything,

and thousands of cremation spaces are still available.But it recently opened a major new cremation development

in order to expand the options for cremation families.

[email protected]

Spring Grove’s Fountain of Remembrance development includes 1,250 double niches in the niche banks from Carrier Mausoleums Construction, plus 400 individual interment spaces in the flower beds.

MoRe FRoM GaRy FReytaG➤ICCFa University 2016 will be held July 2227 at the Fogelman Conference Center, University of

Memphis, Memphis, Tennessee. Freytag is a dean and professor. Curricula and registration information will be available in the spring at www.iccfa.com/events.


Left, the rendering by Carrier Mausoleums Construction of landscape architect Jack C. Goodnoe’s designshows how their curved niche banks form intimate smaller spaces within the large garden.

Below, a group of Spring Grove Family employees pose at the Fountain of Remembrance development after its dedication.

Above, Deb Fox, preplanning advisor, and Skip Phelps, director of advance planning, demonstrate the two options for placement of urns in the Fountain of Remembrance: in the ground in one of the planters, or in a curved granite niche wall.


C R E M A T I O N

for inurnments and return to for quiet contemplation in beautiful surround ings. The architecture is clean and modern but includes design details that recall the 19th-century archi tecture of the nearby cemetery entrance and the Norman Chapel.

The cremation rate in the area is about 50 percent, Freytag said, and that holds true for the organization’s funeral home. At the ceme-tery, the rate is 30 percent.

Spring Grove has been working for several years to increase the memoriali zation rate for families who choose cremation, making sure every family who uses the funeral home is presented with memoriali-zation options, and that effort is going well, Freytag said.

“We’ve increased the absolute number of cremation placements at Spring Grove, and we’ve also increased the percentage of our cases that are cremation-related,” Freytag said. The new garden is also designed to contribute to that effort.

The new cremation development (above) includes design details that tie it in with the nearby entrance gates to the historic cemetery, as well as the 1850s Norman Chapel (both below). The cutouts in the vertical pillars in the cremation garden mirror the carvings and window shapes in the chapel and on the the front gate.

The reason we didn’t put more product in there was to maintain architectural integrity. This is located in a historic section of Spring Grove; on one side there is architecture from the 1800s.—Gary Freytag

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The Fountain of Remembrance offers granite niches in an area designed to be both grand and intimate.

“It’s what they call in Canada a hard-scape, as opposed to softscape, which means it’s primarily granite and water, though there are some flower planters. The primary offering is granite niches, but we also do ground inurnments inside the flowerbeds.” The memorialization for those flowerbed inurnments will be on the sides of the planters.

Inurnments and memorialization are limited to the planters and niche banks;

neither the fountain nor the paving blocks offer memorialization options. There are two small grass areas outside the paved circle where ground inurnments will probably be offered in the future.

“That was intentional,” Freytag said of the limited options. “The reason we didn’t put more product in there was to maintain architectural integrity. This is located in a historic section of Spring Grove; on one side there is architecture from the 1800s. And it literally butts up against Spring Grove Avenue, so it’s right down in front at the cemetery, near the entrance.”

The granite and stone garden looks like it could be a war memorial or other public

project, not necessarily a cemetery garden. Again, that was intentional, Freytag said.

Spring Grove is not running out of space, and that gave them a lot of flexibility in the design. “We didn’t have to get maximum density out of this development. We got decent density, but not maximum density.”

They decided they wanted to use the existing fountain, which had been there for years, and to make the development fit the scale of the fountain.

“I’ve seen a lot of cremation develop-ments in my travels around North Ameri-ca,” Freytag said. I’ve been to the French properties in Albuquerque, to Mount Pleasant in Toronto, to the Lohman proper ties in Florida, to a number of historic cemeteries.

“There are some themes that seem to run through the cremation developments that work.” One of those themes is breaking up larger gardens into smaller spaces—“15 by 12 feet, 12 by 10 feet, 20 by 15 feet—providing people with a sense of intimacy.”

The designers needed to balance the scope and scale of the project as a whole with the inclusion of areas where families could have a sense of privacy, Freytag said.

That is why the niche banks are curved, creating clustered areas within the larger space. Overall, there is enough open space to allow for inurnment services with up to 60 or 70 people, Freytag estimated.

Families who prefer an indoor service can use the Norman Chapel, about 200 yards away from the Fountain of Remembrance.

The design was the result of colla boration between landscape architect Jack C. Goodnoe and representatives of Spring Grove. The team from Carrier Mausoleums Construction then brought the design to life, Freytag said, praising Carrier as an innovative firm to work with.

Incorporating feng shui“Another design element we tried to embrance was feng shui,” Freytag said. “We don’t have a large Asian population here, but we thought it was a good design principle.” “I’ve had multiple conversations with former ICCFA President Ken Varner.” (Varner is president and CEO of Cypress Lawn Cemetery Association, Colma, Califor nia, which does serve a large Asian population.)

The niche banks closest to Spring Grove Avenue are six or seven niches high, and

Another design element we tried to embrance was feng shui. We don’t have a largeAsian population here, but we thought it was a good design principle.—Gary Freytag

Above, the fountain as it was before the new development, below. The planters accept inurnments, with memorialization placed on the planters’ granite sides.

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C R E M A T I O N

The area as it looked before the new develop-ment, which is screened from Spring Grove Avenue by trees. The niche banks are also highest closest to the avenue, help-ing block traffic sounds. The road between the Fountain of Faith (now renamed), and the Gar-den of the Four Seasons leads to the Norman Chapel and the cemetery’s main entrance in one direction and to Spring Grove’s main funeral home in the other direction.

therefore seven or eight feet high, while the ones to either side are five niches high, or about five-and-a-half feet high.

There are steps from the niche banks down to the fountain/planter level.

The taller niche banks serve the feng shui function of a mountain blocking the wind; the lower fountain serves the function of a water feature retaining energy.

The placement of the Fountain of Remembrance garden near the cemetery entrance and the funeral home means that it’s easy to bring families to see it.

Within a month of opening the garden, Spring Grove had sold nearly $150,000 worth of property in it, Freytag said. No preconstruction sales were made, and there has been no marketing campaign to announce its availability. During construction, “We put a small sign out that said ‘coming soon,’ and that’s about it,” Freytag said.

Asked if, now that it’s open, Spring Grove would be launching any sort of advertising campaign for the new garden, Freytag replied, “I don’t think we have to; this design is selling itself.” r

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PRENEED SALES

Preplanning specialist Sydney Smith has spoken at a lot of different events for Hoff Funeral &

Cremation Service. Preplanning makes at-need arrangements easier for families, and preneed has helped build the Hoffs’ business, located in five communities in Minnesota.

“We’re all hard-working Midwest-erners,” Smith said. “We have a good reputation for working hard and paying our own way, and the women have a good reputation for planning ahead. So it’s kind of natural that people around here would take care of this ahead of time.”

Even so, calling or walking into a funeral home can be a difficult first step, even for practical Midwesterners. So Hoff tries to make starting that conversation easier.

Lunch-and-learns, workshops, seminars, direct mail—funeral homes

are always looking for ways to make preplanning, which many people don’t want to think about, more palatable. Hoff staff have found that serving hot pizza and cold beverages creates a relaxing atmosphere in which people are receptive to the preplanning message and to what Hoff has to offer.

It’s a message they deliver year in and year out, as their emphasis is on creating top-of-mind awareness of the Hoff brand and on relationship-building rather than on pressing for quick closings.How did “Pizza and Pre-Planning” get started?We have a marketing specialist, Pat Zalusky, who worked for a funeral home years ago that did something similar. He mentioned it, and we liked the idea of doing something very casual but also informative. We wanted a way to get people to come into the funeral home

Pizza & preplanning prove to be a winning combination

➤Sydney Smith is a preplanning specialist with Hoff Funeral & Cremation Service, and is also licensed to handle prefunding.➤She has a bachelor’s

degree in art education and a master’s degree in education, and previously worked as an art teacher, a graphic designer and small-business owner. She is active with the Winona Chamber of Commerce as an Ambassador team leader and PEO/Chapter AP as an officer.➤Hoff Funeral & Cremation Service has five locations in Minnesota: St. Charles, Rushford, Lewiston, Houston and Winona, where Hoff Celebration of Life Center is located.www.hofffuneral.com


ICCFA Magazine subject spotlightHow do you convince people to come to your

funeral home to hear about the benefits of preplanning?Hoff Funeral has found success hosting informal events where

good information is served along with pizza and drinks.

The invitation for the two-session program on end-of-life planning held at Hoff’s Winona location, Hoff Celebration of Life Center.

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and get some information without feeling intimidated or upset.

In 2015, we had two “Pizza & Pre-Planning” programs at two different loca-tions. We invited a wonderfully energetic lawyer, Jennifer Knapp from LiberaKnapp Law Office, to speak at our first session. She talked about wills, power of attorney, medical assistance, preplanning, prefund-ing and probate.

She gives a presentation that lasts about half an hour and is very easily understood, and then answers questions. People enjoy listening to a lawyer who can speak using normal language, and who is personable.

While she’s talking, our staff serves refreshments, which include soda, wine and beer. Then we serve pizza from a locally famous pizza place. It’s very, very casual.

People aren’t intimidated about walking into the funeral home for something like this. Some people said they were unsure about coming, but we provided them with great information that was easy to listen to.

We invited everyone back to a second presentation where the Hoff staff talked about “everything you always wanted to know about funeral planning but were afraid to ask.” So it was a two-event program.

The second session drew not only the people who had come to the first one but

also additional people. We advertised the program on the radio and on Facebook, and sent out a mailer to people who live in the area.

I used to be a graphic designer, and I wanted the direct mail piece to not look like it was from a funeral home.What demographic did you aim to attract with this program?We tried to encourage people who are 50 to probably 75 or so to consider preplanning for themselves and, in a lot of cases, for their parents.Did you target your advertising in any way to attract those people?We targeted areas, but the direct mail pieces went to every door in those areas.In Rushford, where we conducted one two-session program, we sent everything to the whole town. In Winona, we targeted different sections of town the two times we ran the two-session program at our funeral home there.Is this something you’ll keep doing, or do you keep changing up the kinds of seminars you offer?I think we’ll keep changing it up. We recently started a new preplanning direct mail campaign. We designed and ordered 25,000 mailers called “Make Today Your Someday.”

This mailer basically encourages people

to make their final wishes known. The mailer will go out to all the areas that the Hoffs serve and will probably take two years to mail in sections.

The mailer suggests that people call us or go to our website to engage with me and request a free copy of our “Thoughtful Decisions” guide, which helps people through the preplanning process.

And I’m sure we’ll be doing veterans programs and trying “Pizza and Pre-Planning” in other locations, such as St. Charles. But we won’t just keep doing it in Winona forever.

We have to keep doing things to keep the Hoff name out there, and we have to do things that are different in order to entice people to contact us or to come to the funeral home.

We had one fellow who was kind of dragged by his wife to the pizza event. He looked through the door of the event room (the Hoff funeral homes are beautiful, and don’t necessarily look like funeral homes), and said, “Oh, thank goodness; they have beer.”

In Rushford, which is a very conser-vative little town, we had our first two pizza and preplanning events last fall. Gary Hoff said, “I don’t know—these people are pretty conservative. I’m not sure about serving alcohol.” And I said, “Gary, nobody drinks coffee with pizza.”

Gary bought the pizza in October from one great pizza place and in November from another one, and served the beer and wine and soda. In October, we did make some coffee, but we did not serve a single cup.

At the second session in November, we didn’t make coffee. Almost everybody had a glass of wine or a beer with their pizza and listened to us and enjoyed the information about funeral preplanning.How do you judge the effectiveness of events? Has the pizza event been effective in getting people to preplan? We get the names and addresses of the people who attend events, and we have just started capturing everybody’s email address. I call everybody afterward, and ask them if they have any questions, and that leads to appointments. I ask if they’d like the “Thoughtful Decisions” guide, and if I can stop by with it.

Some preplanning does result from those events, but I don’t necessarily get

RSVPs were solicited to help with planning for refreshments. An endorsement by an existing client spells out the benefits of preplanning.


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funded prearrangements the first time I talk to people. It does give me a chance to answer their questions.

I’m now in my sixth year with the Hoffs. Some clients have planned and then funded those plans over the course of six years, after, say, three conversations. It doesn’t happen instantly.

So you’re aiming for a combination of appointment-setting and relationship-building?Right. And, for the families, planning. They have to talk to the kids. They have to figure out when they’re going to tell their children about it. And if they’re talking about funding, where they’re going to get

the money, and on and on and on.It’s important for me to keep track of

everyone and keep in touch with them. I have never had anybody tell me not to call them again.So you’re not emphasizing trying to close in that first one-on-one meeting with people?

Above, Sydney Smith and funeral director Brittany Renberg answer questions at one of the prelanning sessions. The question displayed on the projector: “What is the price difference between traditional and cremation services?” Below, beverages and pizza, plus literature and sign-in sheets set out and ready for attendees at the “Pizza and Pre-Planning” program.


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No, no, no—though it does happen. I had one woman who said to me, “Well, this is all very interesting, and I’d like to give you the money and then I’m going to go to bingo.” So there are people who plan and pay the same day, but that’s not the norm.

I talk to or visit with most people at least two times, if not three.What exactly is involved in putting on these events, beyond finding a lawyer to present at the first session and having your preneed presentation ready for the second session? How many people are involved in planning and executing these events?Funeral director Brittany Horton Renberg and I design the invitation, have it approved, get it printed and mailed.

We have three to five people who work the event by helping with the food and refreshments. The preplanning specialist and funeral directors are always there to answer questions.

We do request RSVPs, via phone, Facebook or email; we don’t do RSVPs through the mail anymore. It helps whomever has to figure out how much pizza and beer and wine to order and pick up. That’s about it—it isn’t a giant effort.What have you learned from doing seminars over the years in terms of what works?I’ve learned that you do have to kind of shake it up and try different things. The general seminars I was involved with at the very beginning of my time at Hoff involved the marketing guy, the preplanning person—which was me, a veterans affairs officer and a lawyer. Everybody got 10 minutes. These

programs provided good information, but they were a little bit dry.

People enjoy “Pizza and Pre-Planning” more. It’s more casual. We’re providing the same information, but in a much more casual, less intimidating way. No big, long speeches.

The lawyer is not telling individuals how to settle their affairs. She tells them, “You can make an appointment with me, or talk to me after the program.” But people ask her—and the funeral staff—good questions.Do you give tours of the funeral home while people are there?We always have the funeral home in great

condition; we have the crematory ready to be viewed. We say the program is from 5:30 to 7-ish, including eating during the presentation, and most people don’t run out the door at 7 o’clock.

They hang around to eat, and to talk to us and to the lawyer. If they ask to look around, we give them a tour. People don't like to call a funeral home, and they don’t like to walk in. But we have beautiful facilities and a friendly staff, and “Pizza and Pre-Planning” brings people in so they can see that.I think preneed sales are harder for funeral homes than cemeteries. Not long after I started working at ICCFA, I was having lunch with my parents and I said, “Mom, remember how a few years ago you told us that you and Dad had bought your mausoleum space and everything was all preplanned? Have y’all planned your funeral?” She gave me a dirty look and said, “Certainly not. That would be morbid.” I told my brothers, “Apparently they think of buying a mausoleum crypt as just another real estate purchase. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that they’ll have to die before they can move in.”Yes, I’ve been told that a long time ago, you got married and then you bought the cemetery plots.

We run into a lot of people whose parents died without sharing any information with them. They didn’t want to talk about funerals, and they didn’t want to talk about money. So sometimes the parent passes away and nobody knows anything.

We have lots of people who say, “I'm not going to let that happen to my kids.” r

Left, the forms on the information table ask people for their name, phone num-ber and email address, and ask whether they heard about the ”Pizza and Pre-Planning” program from a mailer, radio, Facebook, friend or other.

Below, sceenshots from Hoff Funeral & Cremation Service’s website, which prominently lists both cremation and preplanning on its home page. The preplanning link takes visitors to infor-mation about the benefits of planning ahead. “Myth: Preplanning a funeral is something only the elderly need to think about.” “Reality: Anyone between 40 and 50 years old should preplan to avoid confusion and financial stress.”


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[email protected]

COMMUNITY OUTREACH

Historic Oakwood Cemetery is long on history and short on staff, but Executive Director Robin

Simonton hasn’t let that stop her from doing everying she can to bring people into the Raleigh, North Carolina, cemetery.

A good community outreach program equals future lot sales and future cemetery supporters. With the help of the grounds crew and volunteers and the support of the cemetery’s board and the surrounding community, Simonton has built a program designed to make sure this cemetery with a storied past has a future.

ICCFA Magazine talked to Simonton about the outreach program she has developed in her four years on the job.

Oakwood has been around almost 150 years, but it still has plenty of space to sell. It says on Oakwood’s website that you have enough space to accept burials for at least 200 years.

Yes; we lease 30 acres out of our 102 acres to the city of Raleigh. The city has a long-term lease; they use the land as a park, Oakwood Park.

We also have a cell phone tower on it. They have two ball fields and a dog park on the land, and they handle the maintenance, which is great, since we have a small staff.

It’s a great use of our space, and great for the neighborhood. We started leasing the land in the 1960s, and renegotiate the

Oakwood’s past the key to its future as a place to visit, learn, remember

➤Robin Simonton has been executive director of Historic Oakwood Cemetery, Raleigh, North Carolina, since November of 2011. Previously, she was the program and volunteer services executive at Girl Scouts—North Carolina Coastal Pines. She served as the researcher of the book “Oahu Cemetery: Burial Ground & Historic Site,” written by Nanette Napoleon in 1997.➤She holds a bachelor’s degree in U.S. history from the University of Hawaii and a master’s degree in historical administration from Eastern Illinois University.➤Historic Oakwood Cemetery, Raleigh, North Carolina, was founded in 1867 as a Confederate cemetery, but incorporated in 1869 as a cemetery for everyone. It has more than 22,000 interments on its 102 acres, of which 65 are developed. The cemetery has a visitor and information center constructed in 1910 of local granite, a Memorial Cremation Garden for cremation burials and a mausoleum for above-ground full body and cremation entombments.www.historicoakwoodcemetery.org


ICCFA Magazine subject spotlightHistoric Oakwood Cemetery Executive Director

Robin Simonton doesn’t have a sales or marketing staff.What she does have is a lot of ideas, a dedicated

grounds crew and knowledgeable volunteers.Turns out, that’s enough.

[email protected]

On October 24, almost 400 participants came through Oakwood’s Confederate Cemetery as part of the annual Confederate Lantern Walk. Visitors were escorted through the cemetery by a costumed guide and watched vignettes about life during the Civil War. PhOtO by MiChaeL PaLkO

PHOtO by RICH COx


Above, in September, Oakwood Cemetery hosted sunrise yoga in partnership with a local yoga studio. More than 160 participants came in at 6:30 am for a free, hour-long yoga class held in the open space entry of the cemetery.

Above, from “Cure you or kill you,” an event for which Oakwood partnered with the Country Doc-tor Museum. the museum staff brought these old remedies and presented an interesting program on medical practices in the 1800s. PhOtO by MiChaeL PaLkO

below, more than 300 people attended the cemetery’s first Urn art & Garden Faire (National Urn Competition) on april 19, 2015. Ninety-two urns from 17 states were entered in this competition. PhOtO by tiM bLaisdeLL

below, Oakwood Cem-etery has three beehives on its property. they are maintained by the super-intendent, the director and a representative from a local monument company. PhOtOs by MiChaeL PaLkO


C O M M U N I T Y O U T R E A C H

lease every decade or so. It’s nice to know that our neighbors get to use the land in a different way than they will someday.I was going to say, some people might want to be buried where they used to play Little League ball.Right. We recently sold a crypt in our mausoleum in the back, overlooking the dog park. The people want to be facing the dog park as a way of remembering how important their pets were to them.What size staff do you have?There’s me, Superintendent Sam Smith, the foreman, Wink Batts, and three full-time and one part-time grounds crew member (Y Than Apout, Ki Rolan, Ydjang Nie and Mit Siu).

My assistant/receptionist Charlene Stell is a volunteer, as is historian Bruce Miller, a retired private school headmaster who taught history. Archivist Jorja Frasier is a retiree who used to work at Elmwood in Memphis, another historic cemetery, so that’s very helpful. And we occasionally have an intern from the local college. Right now, that is Sandy Nguyen.Let’s talk about the amazing calendar of events Oakwood Cemetery has, despite the cemetery’s small staff. Are most of your events held every year, or do you

change them a lot?Both. We do have a lot of good old stand-bys, such as our First Friday Flashlight Tours, which we do six months out of the year. Every year the local theater company does a production on our grounds based on our residents.

And then we add in new things. This summer I added a luncheon lecture series, which we had never done before.

We just hosted a private cocktail party for alumnae from a local women’s college, Meredith College.How long have you been at Oakwood?Four years next month.Do you know when Oakwood started holding events?Four years ago! Actually, since about 2005 I’ve been giving tours out here as a volunteer. We did tours, a successful Memorial Day event and maybe an occasional photo contest, but that was all.Was expanding the events one of your goals when you were hired?Yes; really expanding our community presence was my big goal. Every cemetery, historic or new, has its own neighborhood, its community of people interred there. I knew from giving tours for years that there

were a lot of potential partnerships here, and we just had to do a better job of finding those partnerships.

That was what I was thinking about from day one: With whom could we work? What restaurants, what community organizations would want to come in here if we could make a strong enough link to that organization?

So we’re constantly working to establish connections. Take Meredith College. The architect who designed the college’s first building is buried here, as is a woman who was the school nurse for 37 years, from 1897 to 1934. You can do a whole program based on those people and how they contributed to the development of the college, making the program personal for the alumnae.Were the tours you had been giving as a volunteer about the people buried at Oakwood?No. I had been giving tours about monument art and symbolism, so I didn’t know an awful lot of the history, because I’m not from Raleigh. But I had been on other tours, and had started making a mental list.What was the first event you added after being hired?

For a Raleigh, North Carolina, “Project Runway”-type event, “Couture for a Cause,” which raised money for a local volunteer

group, designers were assigned to a local organization and asked to create outfits inspired by it.

The cemetery did not want anything “goth,” Oakwood Executive Director Robin Simonton said, and designer Mia Pitillo delivered lovely outfits she said were inspired by the cemetery’s peacefulness.

“I played with the idea of hard and soft to symbolize the fact that even in the toughest times of people’s lives, this cemetery can bring them peace,” Pitillo said.

Left, the couture outfit: “This gown was also inspired by the elegance of the past. It was done in a peaceful lavender color and has silver beading on the top. There is a cape attached to this dress to represent the legacy left behind by the ones whom we have lost.”

Right, the ready-to-wear outfit: “Since this cemetery focuses on history, I decided to use the 1950s and ’60s as my inspiration. The black leather skirt was inspired by a classic circle skirt but with added drama, including hand-beading. The top is a flirty blouse with a floral pattern, because Oakwood requested I incorporate a floral design.” r

Photos by Jim Clark stevensonleft and above, the outfitsdesigned by Mia Pitillo,inspired by Historic Oakwood Cemetery.

Runway ready: Cemetery as muse

Every cemetery, historic or new, has its own neighborhood, its community of peopleinterred there. I knew from giving tours for years that there were a lot of potential partnerships here,

and we just had to do a better job of finding those partnerships.—Robin Simonton


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Photos by miChael Palko

The cemetery hosts an annual All Saints’ Day service on the first Sunday of November. A different area church “adopts” the service each year, providing the clergy and the homily. Names of those interred the past year are read (by family request) and music is provided by the Raleigh Moravian Church Brass Band.

The first big event was a Mother’s Day tea. I started around the end of November 2011, and the tea was in May 2012. Everyone knows West Laurel Hill is where Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother’s Day is buried. Madeline Jones Procter, who as a teenager worked for Jarvis and went through that process with her to make Mother’s Day a holiday, is buried at Oakwood.

And she had a huge family, all here in Raleigh. We reached out to them and to our community and held a big tea on the street right next to her grave. We served sweet tea and lemonade, and then we went on a tour of famous women buried in the cemetery. We had about 50 people present, and it was a really fun event.

We had a lot of support from the family, which was the neatest part about it. So many times in these old cemeteries, the families are long gone or all buried in the family plot. And we got a little story in the newspaper. After that, we hit the ground running.

Are you looking for a particular mix of events, or trying to hold a certain number per month?My board chair always says not to go for a scoop of ice cream, go for a steak. In other words, go big. So if I can’t do it and expect to attract at least 50 people, I’m probably not going to do it at this point.

I like to think of something interesting that people don’t expect to learn in a cemetery—that’s a big thing for me. You wouldn’t expect to come to the cemetery and learn about Mother’s Day. You wouldn’t expect to come to the cemetery and learn about medical practices in the 1870s (another event we partnered with someone for). You wouldn’t expect to come to the cemetery for a science fair.

I don’t really have a set number per month, but we’re always working on something. The past two days, we’ve been working on a list of ghastly deaths

of the previous century, to talk about the horrible ways people died in the 1800s. We stumbled across one horrible death and thought, “We’re bound to have more.”

Raleigh doesn’t have a lot of house museums, so we try to fill some of that void of providing people with more social history.

Sometimes the historian or I will go to one of the other historic cemeteries in the city and see if we can find a connection to our cemetery. For example, the different stonecarvers who might have worked at Raleigh City Cemetery, which opened up 100 years before Oakwood.

We’re seriously researching one of the stonecutters. We could talk about the different types of signatures on stones and who those stonecarvers were, what their specialties were. We’re working very hard on that.

Or we might go to the city-owned African American cemetery, Mount Hope, and look at who we have with connections to that cemetery, which opened up around the same time as Oakwood.

We serve everyone today, but obvi-ously in the 1860s, cemeteries were very segregated. Oakwood had an employee who died here, but is buried at the African-American cemetery. We’re trying to figure out what other connections we have to that historic cemetery.

That’s a conversation that Americans don’t always want to bring up, right? We’re trying to find the grave of the man who worked and died here, so that we can honor him at Oakwood with a marker and plant a tree in his name and talk a little bit about why there are two different cemeteries in this town, and what our connections are with Mount Hope.

Mount Hope is literally patterned after us in terms of its landscape design. So learning about how that cemetery started helps us tell a more complete story of the history of our city, not just the history of our cemetery.I thought the events that brought school children into the cemetery were particularly interesting. What were you trying to accomplish through outreach basically to people who we hope won’t be needing your services for a very long time?My previous job, while I was volunteering at the cemetery was with the Girl Scouts. In

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C O M M U N I T Y O U T R E A C HApril 3, 7 p.m., First Friday Flashlight TourApril 19, Urn Art & Garden Faire,

National Urn CompetitionMay 1, 7:30 p.m.,

First Friday Flashlight TourMay 15-17, 7 p.m., Burning Coal Theatre

performs “Oakwood Lives”May 25, 3 p.m., Memorial Day Service

at Oakwood’s Field of HonorJune 5, 7:30-9 p.m., First Friday

Flashlight TourJune 24, noon–1 p.m., Lunch & Lecture

Series: Monument Art & SymbolismJuly 3, 7:30-9 p.m., First Friday

Flashlight TourJuly 15, 6:30-7:30 p.m., Read in Peace

Book Club, “Killing Lincoln”July 22, noon-1 p.m., Lunch & Lecture

Series: Transplanted SoulsJuly 31, 8:30-10 p.m., Lunar Stroll:

Photographing Oakwood Cemetery After Hours

August 7, 7:30-9 p.m., First Friday Flashlight Tour

August 19, noon-1 p.m., Lunch & Lecture Series: 5 Wishes (prepared by Transitions Life Care)

September 4, 7 p.m., First Friday Flashlight Tour

September 23, 6:30 p.m., Read in Peace Book Club, “Asleep”

October 2, 7-8:30 p.m., First Friday Flashlight Tour

October 24, 6-10 p.m., Confederate Lantern Walk

October 28, 6:30 p.m., Read in Peace Book Club, “A Brief History of the Dead”

November 1, 3-4 p.m., All Saints’ Day Service

November 1, 7-10 p.m., Day of the Dead Story Telling Event (to benefit the Brentwood Boys and Girls Club)

December 2, 6:30 p.m., Read in Peace Book Club, “Lookaway, Lookaway”

December 12, noon-1 p.m., Wreaths Across America Service

December 13, 7 p.m., Compassionate Friends Candlelighting Service

Historic Oakwood Cemetery 2015 calendar of events

2006, we did an event called Monumental Fun, where we invited the Girl Scouts to hold an event about the cemetery. We brought in more than 300 girls over two weekend; it was a hugely popular event.

So when I got this job, I already knew that kids will come to the cemetery. And we don’t want them to be scared of the cemetery, we want them to come and enjoy Oakwood as these historic cemeteries were intended to be enjoyed—as social centers, as parks.

West Laurel Hill or Laurel Hill in Philadelphia had hosted a science fair, so we decided to do it. It ended up being, according to the North Carolina Science Festival, the most creative event they’d had.

Why bring in young people? You have to create supporters, even at the youngest of ages. In 100 years, this cemetery will need even more people on its side to help show its relevance, to help show why this is an important place.

Death-care is changing very quickly; cremation rates don’t go down, that’s for sure. So both kids and adults have to see that this is really just like any other outdoor museum. And bringing in kids also brings their parents.

The first science festival we did drew about 200 people. We made up a mystery they had to use compasses, measuring tapes and string to solve. And we had science experiments where you had to test samples of marble and samples of granite—all things we have an abundance of. You had to do all this to solve the mystery.

There were people of all ages out here participating. Not just little kids, but 80-year-olds. And it really was kind of eye-opening that people would attend a science event out here and not even think twice about where they were. We like that.

We don’t want people thinking this is a scary place or a haunted place. We want people to be excited about coming in here to learn something.

Last year we did an event about the birds and the bees of Oakwood Cemetery, because we’re on the bluebird trail and

we have beehives, and we wanted folks to see how we are good stewards of our land and how the cemetery protects land. If there weren’t a cemetery here, the land would probably be covered with condos or expensive McMansions. So we’re lucky the cemetery is here.Oakwood is in the city, in an old Victorian neighborhood, right?Yes; we started before the neighborhood did. On one side is the Oakwood neighborhood, full of Victorian homes. They do a huge home tour. They get so many trick-or-treaters, the roads are shut down for Halloween.

They are phenomenal neighbors, and having them there encourages us to maintain a high level of community involvement. We don’t want to be the dud next door, right? I was going to ask what kind of staff time is involved in planning and executing these events, but I guess the question is how much of your time is involved? How do you manage all these events?I have a 5-year old child, so it’s hard. But we make our money from selling property, so most of what I do every day is marketing the cemetery, one way or the other, and then working with families to sell property. I do have my typical cemetery director’s

Photo by kat king Students tackle a mystery in the science fair event held at the cemetery.

Death-care is changing very quickly; cremation rates don’t go down, that’s for sure. So both kids and adults have to see

that this is really just like any other outdoor museum. And bringing in kids also brings their parents.—Robin Simonton

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Photos by miChael Palko

above, Oakwood Cemetery has Ra-leigh’s first Hebrew Cemetery on its grounds. Right, Charles “WInk” Batts, the cemetery’s beloved foreman for 28 years, is seen standing at the front gate before the runners come in for the Day of the Dead 5k on October 24.

job of going out and giving presentations.But for Oakwood, that involves giving

presentations about our history. We’re not a high-pressure kind of place. We’re going to go and talk about why this place is special and hope that you decide this is where you’d like to be.

Selling, working with families, handling graveside services takes up a lot of my time, day-to-day. I try to attend every service. (The superintendent covers for me on alternating weekends.)

But I do spend some time every day working on events, whether its planning a new tour route or a class—we teach a lifelong learning class through our local university, or whether it’s doing research about the cemetery. At night, I’m taking notes for a project, or emailing myself.Do you have a lot of volunteers, or do you lead the tours yourself?I lead a lot of the tours, but my historian also leads a lot. It’s probably a 50/50 share with him. This week, we have done three tours so far and have one left to do. Everyone wants to be in the cemetery in October, so it’s a little busier than normal.

On First Friday nights, we do big tours—we draw 150 people for those—and the historian and I each lead a group and I have a 17-year-old docent, Drew Wayland, who leads a group. Right now, we’re the only three people who can lead tours. I need to develop a staff of docent guides.

It’s on my list of things to do, and a lot of people have expressed an interest. The hardest part is writing everything down in a tour guide form. I’ve looked at the guides from the local state museum of history and other historic sites in Raleigh. It’s just a matter of finding the time to sit down and actually put all that information together. Things always come up and it gets bumped down the to-do list.Tell me what was involved in holding that Victorian Mother’s Day tea, for example.There was the physical set-up of the tables and tents. Purchasing the food, supplies and lemonade. Working with the family to have a display set up about Mother’s Day and Madeline’s role in in. I also had to figure out the tour route, making sure I had enough people to talk about along a route through the cemetery that made sense and was wheelchair accessible.

I did all of that. At the time, I did not have the volunteers. So that’s not really a sustainable model. Not that anyone couldn’t do what I do, but it’s not a system that’s practical long-term, because it’s a lot of work.

But some of the events are much simpler for us. For example, the Meredith College event. Honestly, the college people came in, set everything up, brought in caterers. All the historian and I had to do was come up with a tour. After the tour was over, everything had been cleaned up.

That’s another good reason for seeking out partnerships with other organizations in the community that can handle most of the work for an event, leaving us to simply handle the basics.Are most of your events outdoors? Yes. My office is small, and the board room can only handle about a dozen people. There was a chapel on the grounds, but it was torn down in the 1960s. We have a mausoleum, but it’s an open-air mausoleum. Without heating or air conditioning, it can get very hot and very, very cold.

When we taught a lifelong learning class for Osher, most classes started in the mausoleum with a PowerPoint presentation and then moved out onto the grounds. We have a Compassionate Friends candle-lighting service in December. It’s in the evening and it’s very cold, so a lot of hot chocolate, coffee and tea is served.

Our event calendar slows down in the winter, though I will do walking tours during the day. We don’t do a lot of daytime walking tours for the general public, but in the winter, when I can tell it’s going to be a nice, sunny day, I’ll do a walking tour to bring some people to the cemetery.Most of your summer walking tours are in the evenings?Yes. All of our First Friday tours are flash-

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light tours that take place at 7 p.m. or later.Is that to avoid funerals?Not really; it’s to avoid the heat.

When I started as director, there hadn’t been any walking tours in about year. The attendance had dwindled to the point where only three or four people were attending. It’s hard to say it’s “not worth it” to bring three people into the cemetery, but it’s not a great use of volunteer time.

When we tried nighttime tours, we went from having three or four people to having 150. Even the tours I do in the middle of winter will pull more than 100 people. It just seems to be something the people in Raleigh like to do.Do you charge for events?Most of the time we ask for a donation of $5 for tours, all of our private events, things like that. We don’t typically charge a lot of money. I look at it as an alternative to advertising—all of our events are advertising the cemetery. Ultimately, many of the people who attend come back and buy property.

So the tours are worth it, and we don’t need to charge a lot of money for them; we want to bring more people into the cemetery. When we started the nighttime tours, we all thought we might attract a bunch of 18-year-old goth kids, but we actually attract mostly 40-to-60-year-olds. It’s a great way for them to scope out the cemetery without worrying that someone’s going to give them a sales pitch.

We advertise the events through Groupon, Living Social, on our Facebook page, on our website, through free calendar listings in the newspaper. Sometimes news crews come out and give us some publicity. With something like the Meredith College event, the group holding the event handles publicity. What events have been most and least successful?Our biggest event ever was last year’s Urn Art and Garden Faire, which was covered in an Associated Press story that got picked up around the world—one of our board members read about it in Europe.

We had 92 urns from 17 states, and drew about 300 people on a horrible rainy day. Having people see the cemetery as a place for the arts and having conversations about cremation urns being placed at the cemetery, we considered it a huge success.

Our least successful event was called “Summer Nights.” It was supposed to be a family fun night, and I could not get people to come. I don’t know if the promotion wasn’t right or what. I was very bummed that it didn’t work—it was the first time something flopped.What are you trying to accomplish with events?Bringing people into the cemetery when they don’t need to be here is the biggest goal we have. It gives people a safe space to ask questions about the cemetery at a time when they’re not grieving, they’re not worrying about getting a sales pitch. They’re just enjoying learning about history and about how a cemetery works.

For example, for our first lifelong

learning class this year, we showed people how we prepare a grave. People were taking notes; they were asking a million questions. For the next six weeks, they talked about that day where they learned something completely new to them.

As the person who’s handling sales, anytime you can bring people in to learn about the cemetery it’s a good day, because you’re laying the groundwork for future sales.

We want to be what Victorian cemeteries were: Social places. Places where people can enjoy and reflect on life. Places where people enjoy the beauty of the grounds.

Yoga has become a “thing” at cemeteries, and we hosted a yoga class a few weeks ago. One hundred and 60 people came out at 6:30 a.m. for a free yoga class held in our front entry field. The newspaper put it on the front page the next day. The article focused on a woman who had come to the class because her father is buried here, and she saw it as a way to spend time with him. It was beautiful. That helps people see the importance of the cemetery.

One day I was at a service and I heard a woman say to her friend, “This is such a waste of space.” I was appalled, and I decided I was going to make sure that no one else ever thinks Historic Oakwood Cemetery is a waste of space.

Aside from the fact that comment was horribly disrespectful to the families who have chosen to place their loved ones in this cemetery, it’s also an insult to the city that has loved and supported Oakwood. And we’re good stewards of our land.

We also try to be good stewards to other community organizations. There’s an organization in Raleigh called Activate Good, which does volunteer matching. For example, they helped me find volunteers when the Day of the Dead race came through the cemetery. So we volunteered to be part of their fundraiser.

The fundraiser was a fashion show, “Couture for a Cause.” A local designer was matched with Oakwood and created two looks inspired by the cemetery for a fancy runway show. (Ed: Photos, cover and

Photo by miChael PalkoVolunteer Glenn Sappie from the Sons of the American Revolution North Carolina Chapter places a wreath on the grave of a veteran for Wreaths Across America Day in December 2014. Each year, the cemetery staff selects a new photographer in residence, a volun-teer who takes photos at events and throughout the seasons to capture the essence of Oakwood. Michael Palko was the photographer for 2014-2015.


Bringing people into the cemetery when they don’t need to be here is the biggest goalwe have. It gives people a safe space to ask questions about the cemetery

at a time when they’re not grieving, they’re not worrying about getting a sales pitch.They’re just enjoying learning about history and about how a cemetery works.—Robin Simonton

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page 38.) We had to fill out a form listing the words that come to mind when you’re in the cemetery.Do you have a plan for making sure you don’t burn out eventually and say, “Oh, the heck with it”? First, I’m making sure that everything we do is written down so that if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, the cemetery can continue to do these activities. Because it is replicable.

This is a plug for you guys, big time, but when I first got this job, the cemetery did not get the ICCFA Magazine regularly.So Oakwood wasn’t a member?We are now. But they were not then. And the first thing my board chair said to me was, “Find an organization you can join and learn from.” And I found you guys, obviously. We joined, and I have never regretted it, because so many of my ideas come from reading your magazine.

We go through them and cut things out; we have a notebook of ideas we want to try. I download the white papers. I go to the website. I buy the articles, all the Spring Grove “Smitty & Fife” columns. I look at what Spring Grove does, and I think, “They have bees. Why can’t we have bees?” So now we have bees. The cemetery superintendent and I are our beekeepers.

You do what it takes to make it work. We found someone from the local monument company that wanted to help us occasionally. And we found a good mentor.

The point is, you don’t have to have a huge staff. We’re never going to have a huge staff.

I had wanted yoga at the cemetery so badly. Finally we scheduled the class, then the story on the yoga class came out the same day as the coverage of the North Carolina state budget. It turned out the budget story got 4 inches, and we got the rest of the front page!

What that told us is that if we can do this with my little tiny staff, any cemetery can do this. And other cemeteries will help you. I’ve got Elmwood in Memphis, Tennessee, and Hollywood in Richmond, Virginia, on speed dial, and when I need help, I call them for advice.

I look to them because they’re Southern cemeteries like we are. I can’t necessarily say, “Well, Mount Auburn in Massachusetts does this …” That might not fly in the South.

But you shouldn’t let the size of your staff stop you. We all have these amazing stories in our cemeteries—that’s what it comes back to, every time.

Does Oakwood have a friends group?Yes; the urn competition was their first activity, and they’ll be starting to work on the second one soon. We’ll also be looking for their help to celebrate Oakwood’s 150th anniversary in four years—that will be their main focus.

We also would like to achieve 501(c)3 status someday. We’re a 501(c)13 right now. We would like the friends group to have that (c)3 status.

Ultimately our goal is to be able to continue to do some of these activities and events with a lot more hands on deck so that it is a sustainable model, and so that we can continue to grow.

We’re really grateful that Raleigh has supported our community outreach. We’ve put together a scrapbook, and it’s unbelievable the amount of media stories we’ve gotten.

When the media come to us to look for a story, when they think, “We need a good story about a certain topic, we’ll see what the cemetery has,” we feel like we have done our jobs.

And we’re lucky to be in a town that is so supportive of everything we do; we’re lucky. Raleigh is friendly to the idea of a cemetery thinking outside the box. r


Photos by miChael Palkoleft, Memorial Day always brings out a large crowd to Oakwood’s Field of Honor Veterans’ Section.above, a cemetery board member and a 93-year-old WWII Army captain place a memorial wreath during the service. Canopy tents for shade, refreshments and the wreath are sponsored or pro-vided by local funeral homes.

I look at what Spring Grove does, and I think, “They have bees. Why can’t we have bees?”So now we have bees. The cemetery superintendent and I are our beekeepers.—Robin Simonton


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SERVICE TO FAMILIES

Along with police, medical personnel and clergy, funeral directors and other funeral home staff members

are among the primary responders for the families and loved ones of those who have died by suicide.

While statistically a rare event, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death overall in the United States (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention WISQARS, 2015). Research indicates that individuals exposed to death by suicide may be at increased risk for suicidal behavior themselves (Jordan & McIntosh, 2011).

As first responders, funeral directors have the potential to play a key role in alleviating the pain and confusion surrounding a suicide death, as well as in suicide prevention. This article is not meant to be exhaustive but rather a brief guide to help funeral directors with their interactions with individuals who have lost a loved one to suicide.

The unique stress of losing a family member to suicide poses professional and emotional challenges for funeral staff called on to assist the grieving family. Grieving family and friends of the deceased, hereafter referred to as survivors, often look to funeral staff for vital information about the circumstances of the death.

The Suicide Prevention Action Network (SPAN) recommends responding simply and compassionately while being careful not to give answers or information that should come from the medical examiner or law enforcement.

Questions from survivors can sometimes be relentless, particularly when the traumatic loss is new (SPAN, 2008; WPSN, 2008). The Winnipeg Suicide Prevention Network (WSPN) recommends relaying important information about the death in a factual yet non-descriptive manner. When the funeral

director reveals that he or she is comfortable in discussing suicide, survivors may feel more free to speak openly about this type of loss.

Responding with compassionSurvivors of a death by suicide in particular can find that sadness is combined with confusion, guilt or even, in some cases, relief.

Much research indicates that up to 90 percent of adults and youth who die by suicide suffered from a mental illness and/or substance abuse disorder (Moskos, Olson, Halbern, Keller, & Gray, 2005; USDHHS, 2012), both of which are still quite stigmatized in the U.S.

Survivors sometimes experience a sense of guilt and may wonder, “Was I too hard on her?” or “What could I have done to save him?” Funeral directors can and should support survivors with sensitive and nonjudgmental responses and concern.

One recommended response: “Sudden death can be a shocking and overwhelming. Your reactions are normal and understandable.”

Everyone grieves in his or her own way, and mourning someone who has taken his/her own life adds to the complex emotions loved ones might feel. The WSPN (2008) stresses that “being present and genuine with the person in their time of grief and acknowledging their tragic loss shows real concern and acknowledges for all involved the impact that death has had” (p. 7).

It is also important to recognize the spectrum of feelings survivors might experience, including guilt, anger and relief.

Your role as funeral director is not to counsel loved ones that they “have done all they could,” an assertion that can be construed as dismissive or futile. Rather, SPAN recommends reminding the person

Funeral staff as first responders: Helping families & friends when a loved one has died by suicide

[email protected]➤Scotece is a funeral direc-tor and Certified Celebrant with Farley Funeral Homes & Crematory, Venice, Florida. The family-owned company

also owns a cemetery, Venice Memorial Gardens.www.farleyfuneralhome.com ➤She received her Ph.D. from the University of South Florida (Tampa) in curriculum and instruction with emphasis in adult education. Her research has focused on funeral service.➤In 2008, she became a trained funeral cel-ebrant through the ICCFA University College of 21st Century Funeral Services. She gradu-ated from ICCFAU in 2011 and was chosen as valedictorian.

[email protected]➤LeBlanc is a Ph.D. student in the Department of Com-munication at the University of South Florida. She stud-ies media and entertainment culture through a feminist and critical race theory lens.

➤She co-authored an article on the relation-ship of mandatory mental health examina-tions and suicide risk. She co-authored the 2012 Youth-Based School Suicide Prevention Guide update with Roggenbaum.

[email protected] ➤Roggenbaum is a faculty member at the University of South Florida in the Depart-ment of Child & Family Studies and within the de la Parte Florida Mental Health Institute in Tampa.

➤He currently serves as co-investigator and training coordinator for a three-year Sub-stance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration-funded University South Florida campus suicide prevention grant.➤He is one of four gubernatorial appointees (two-time appointee) to the Florida Suicide Prevention Coordinating Council. He and a research team designed and crafted the Youth Suicide Prevention school-based guide, listed in the Suicide Prevention Resource Center’s best practices registry for suicide prevention.➤He teaches an undergraduate class on suicide issues in behavioral healthcare and serves on several local suicide prevention task forces.

by Tanya Scotece, CFSP, Ph.D.Amanda LeBlanc, MA, andStephen Roggenbaum, MAICCFA Magazine author spotlight All grieving family members must be handled with compassion

and care, but the families of those who have died of suiciderequire funeral directors and other funeral home staff to takeextra care with how they respond to and help the survivors.


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SERVICE TO FAMILIES

that you are there for support—wherever they are emotionally.

Funeral directors may hear survivors confess feelings of betrayal that their loved one has “left” them or that their loved one was weak for “giving in” to suicide. Reiterating that this death was a tragedy with many contributing and complex factors acknowledges the deceased’s struggle as well as the survivor’s pain (SPAN, 2008).

Finally, if the deceased was very ill and difficult be to be around, those close to him or her may express relief that he or she is no longer here. They may be burdened by a sense of guilt for feeling this way.

SPAN reminds us: “It is not the role of funeral directors or others to judge, or to encourage loved ones to experience or acknowledge feelings of grief or profound sorrow that they simply don’t have—and maybe never will” (p. 9). Simply being present to listen with acute sensitivity is a funeral director’s difficult yet crucial role.

Another way funeral directors can support survivors of suicide loss is through the careful use of language. Several publications for funeral staff recommend the direct and honest use of the word “suicide” (Rosenthal, 2014). However, it is important to avoid stigmatizing phrases such as “committed suicide” or “made a successful/failed suicide attempt.”

“Commit” tends to connote sinful or criminal behavior, while a “successful” or “completed” attempt indicates that the person achieved a goal. Instead, try to use forthright and nonjudgmental language, including the phrases “died by suicide” or “made a suicide attempt.”

Although we may change our language in order to avoid making moral judgments, some people of faith believe that taking one’s own life is a sin. A few publications address how faith communities and clergy can help those who have lost loved ones to suicide.

In “The Role of Faith Communities in Suicide Prevention” (Doty & Spencer-Thomas, 2009), the authors agree that compassion for individuals and communities affected by suicide is a key to healing (www.sprc.org/sites/sprc.org/files/library/ 2010FaithLeaderGuideBookweb.pdf).

Regardless of denomination, there are

resources within each spiritual tradition to draw on for guidance (Doty & Spencer-Thomas, 2009). Many faith groups have incorporated an understanding of the medical and sociological factors involved in death by suicide into their theological understanding of life and loss (Suicide Prevention Resources Center [SPRC], 2004).

Helping the familywith practical mattersThe funeral director’s main function is, of course, to plan and arrange the deceased’s funeral ceremony. Survivors must attend to a number of practical matters, and the funeral staff can alleviate some stress and pain by compassionately guiding them through the process.

The angst and confusion created by a suicide death can easily be compounded by the financial impact of a funeral, burial or memorial, so the funeral director should take particular care to assist the family with this area.

Choosing pallbearers and burial clothes can also be overwhelming after a death by suicide, and SPAN notes that some loved ones will find closure in performing these duties, while others will only find more pain. They recommend offering family and friends the choice to participate, but to always respect their wishes if they cannot.

These material concerns are not unrelated to the emotional response of those affected by the suicide death. In fact, they “begin the survivors’ confrontation with the ramifications of death and loss” (NAASP, 2015, p. 31).

The funeral director also can provide support by sensitively assisting family through actions such as returning the deceased’s personal effects and connecting with the armed forces for a veteran’s ceremony.

Funeral staff also can help the survivors with the obituary, including making the decision about whether or not to include the manner of death. As with other final arrangements, listen to and respect the wishes of the family.

Several publications support using the word “suicide” and/or “mental illness” in

an obituary, if acceptable to the family. Being frank about the manner of death reduces stigma and allows grievers to address their loss and frustration (WSPN, 2008).

The Ontario Funeral Service Association has a pamphlet with several suggestions for compassionate obituary statements after a suicide death (http://wrspc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Suicide-Obituary-Brochure-8.5-x-14-Dec-7.pdf).

Finally, after pressing and obvious matters are addressed, the funeral director could simply ask, “How else can I help you?” or “What do you need right now?” (SPAN). Be sure that the survivors’ basic needs are being met, including food, water, access to phones and transportation.

Helping with preventionand “postvention”Sensitive and careful responses from funeral directors regarding both emotional and practical issues not only is a compas-sionate way to treat mourners, but also plays a crucial role in reducing subsequent self-injury or death by suicide.

Research indicates that exposure to a death by suicide increases a person’s risk for mental health issues, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, social isolation and suicide (NAASP, 2015).

As first responders working with some of the closest survivors of the deceased, funeral directors play a vital role in suicide prevention and postvention. Postvention refers to an intervention for the grieving community of survivors after a death by suicide. These sympathetic and helpful acts should alleviate stress and promote healing.

Compassionate and sincere support given to address the emotional and practical needs of the deceased’s family and friends should be a first step for funeral staff. By using non-judgmental language and empathetically listening to those grieving, the funeral director and staff can lessen the level of stress, guilt and shame that survivors are likely to feel following the suicide (Rosenthal, 2014).

An instance may occur where a director

Funeral directors may hear survivors confess feelings of betrayal that their loved one has “left” them or that their loved one was weak for “giving in” to suicide.

Reiterating that this death was a tragedy with many contributing and complex factors acknowledges the deceased’s struggle as well as the survivor’s pain (SPAN, 2008).


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or staff member may sense that a mourner is at risk for suicide or self-harm. A list of suicide warning signs can found at www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewpage&page_id=705f4071-99a7-f3f5-e2a64a5a8beaadd8 and includes talking about wanting to die or kill/harm oneself, talking about having no reason to live, wanting to join the deceased or looking for a method of self-harm.

Although a funeral director may not know the grieving family member or friends outside of the funeral home setting, SPAN notes that staff should be aware of survivors exhibiting erratic behaviors or being under the influence of drugs or alcohol when they are interacting with them.

It is important that, regardless of how survivors are behaving, funeral directors should still do their best to treat the bereaved with compassion, as well as work with other family or friends to try to get the person help.

Suicide loss can quickly compound underlying issues and struggle. If a member of the funeral staff feels that a person is in imminent danger of harming or killing him/herself, staff should call 911 or the national suicide prevention hotline immediately. That number is 1.800.273.8255 (TALK).

The funeral service itself can help to reduce a suicide imitation effect, although careful measures must be taken to neither dismiss the severity of a suicidal act (that is, to imply it was a reasonable response to distress), nor glamorize it. “The service must make a clear distinction between the deceased’s positive accomplishments and their final act” (Rosenthal, 2014, p. 22).

Young people are particularly vulnerable to suicide contagion (Rosenthal, 2014; SPAN, 2008), so it is particularly important that their participation in funeral services is considered.

Another important step the funeral director can take to reduce suicide imitation is to connect the bereaved to appropriate grief support services. The funeral home will provide a first wave of compassion and assistance, but some survivors may need additional counseling or information about depression, mental illness, mourning or suicide.

The funeral staff can direct survivors

toward several helpful resources on the Suicide Prevention Resource Center [SPRC] website (www.sprc.org) as well as www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

At the local level, funeral directors and staff can help guide mourners to members of clergy in their denomination, to bereavement or suicide loss support groups or to mental health counselors in the area. Information about the national suicide prevention hotline (1.800.273.8255) and local hotlines could be distributed during services.

The USDHHS (2012) encourages first responders to be prepared to assist survivors with a variety of support services. These include support groups (both online and face-to-face), educational literature, survivor outreach teams and referrals to clinicians.

Funeral directors’ self-careA death by suicide not only affects the deceased’s family and friends but also can have a profound impact on first responders. Funeral directors and staff are, of course, accustomed to dealing with death and its aftermath, but assisting others with the complex nature of suicide death can be particularly stressful to them.

Throughout the process of supporting the bereaved, the funeral director and staff are exposed to “vicarious trauma.” Funeral staff themselves may feel angst, confusion or guilt due to their interactions with the grieving family, personal experiences and even from their repeated experiences with tragedy and loss (WSPN, 2008).

Friends and family of the deceased may direct their anger, confusion and guilt toward the funeral director, placing more stress on those who are trying to support and help them.

Several publications warn funeral directors in particular about compassion fatigue, whereby the stress of working with suicide survivors compounds into caregiver burnout (SPAN, 2008; WSPN, 2008). It is crucial that funeral directors address stress and take steps to take care of themselves, mentally and physically.

SPAN recommends remembering to take part in hobbies and activities outside of work that can revitalize you. These include

exercising, eating well, taking part in self-reflection, getting adequate sleep and making time for friends.

They also remind funeral staff to ask for help when they need it, including with daily practical activities, as well as for mental health support or counseling. “Seeking emotional and psychological support promotes resilience and healthy coping” (WSPN, 2008, p. 15).

The Survivors of Suicide Loss Task Force National Guidelines acknowledge that first responders may need assistance with their own grief and trauma in order to alleviate compassion fatigue. By attending to their emotional responses and responsibilities, funeral directors and their staffs will be able to better provide compassion, sensitivity and support to the communities they serve.

A funeral director’s perspectiveHaving served families whose loved ones died by suicide, I recognize that the family’s grieving process and the arrangement conference are completely different from those in any other type of death.

For example, many families have no idea of how to proceed in making arrangements. They will ask whether to be forthcoming with the suicide information—whether or not to tell the rest of the world how the person died.

Some suicides occur in public places, such as when a person jumps from a building or bridge. Even in these situations, it is important to help a family decide if they want to reveal the manner of death. When the suicide involves a young person, it can complicate the decision to make public the manner of death.

I have served some families whose loved one was diagnosed with a terminal illness such as cancer, and the person chose to end his or her life by suicide, so it wasn’t “the cancer that got them” in the end. In such cases, the family often spends a lot of time struggling with whether the death by suicide should become public knowledge or be kept private. In one such case where a man had chosen to end his own life after a serious diagnosis, I discussed with his widow the pros and cons of revealing his manner of death. In the end, she decided she was

Choosing pallbearers and burial clothes can also be overwhelming after a death by suicide, and SPAN notes that some loved ones will find closure in performing these duties,

while others will only find more pain. They recommend offering family and friends the choice to participate, but to always respect their wishes if they cannot.

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comfortable making the information public.Three years later, I ran into her at a picnic.

When she saw me, she said, “I’m so glad we decided to make it public, because it saved me from so much anguish.” She recognized her husband’s suicide was his decision alone, she was not responsible and she, therefore, didn’t have to hide anything.

Although funeral directors are not psychologists, we are “first-hand responders” when making arrangements with these families. Many families feel guilt for the person’s death. They often feel they could have done something that would have prevented it.

This isn’t true, but nonetheless, they feel responsible, so their grief is compounded because not only are they mourning the loss of that person, they also are mourning the fact that they could not help their loved one in his or her darkest hour.

In such cases, families and friends are left completely devastated. The grief of families dealing with suicide is coupled with shock and guilt. As a funeral director, my goal is to get the family to the point where they can recognize and focus on the person’s life, rather than on his or her manner of death.

We discuss celebrant services, and most of my suicide families have chosen a celebration of life focused on positive memories rather than on how their loved ones chose to end their lives.

In my experience, suicide knows no boundaries. I have seen the richest of the rich and the poorest of the poor affected—there is no common denominator. A funeral director’s biggest challenge in the case of a suicide is to assist the family in grieving properly rather than having guilt overtake them about being unable to prevent the death.

I’d also like to add here that sometimes we think we know what depressed people look like—disheveled, unkempt, unemployed, etc., but this isn’t true. Individuals at risk for suicide can be successful people who appear to have the world by a string, and it takes friends and family completely by surprise when they choose to end their lives by suicide.

During the past year, we have seen an increase in female suicides by gunshot. This is atypical but seems to be on the increase.

In cases of suicide, often depression overcomes a person to the point that he or she can no longer cope with life. Some people are really good at hiding their depression, so when a suicide occurs, the family may be completely shocked.

In any case, for funeral directors dealing with the survivors in suicide cases, the key is to listen to the family, offer opinions for memorializing that person’s life completely free of judgment and focus on the good in that person’s life.

It is also important for the funeral home to offer services for families who differ from the norm. I always suggest a celebrant service when families feel uncomfortable about reli-gious services in the case of suicide. I also emphasize that the family does not have to have a wake or visitation if they don’t want one.

At our funeral home, we average a dozen services per year for individuals who died by suicide, and those people come from all walks of life. Depression is a topic that needs further examination and understanding. We take people at face value—their actions are OK, they look OK, so we are not aware of how they are really feeling. What does depression look like? It deserves more study.

Information contained in this article is primarily from the Suicide Prevention Action Network’s [SPAN*] “Supporting Survivors of Suicide Loss: A Guide for Funeral Directors” (2008) (www.sprc.org/sites/sprc.org/files/library/funeraldirectors.pdf), The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention’s [AASP] “Responding to Grief, Trauma, and Distress After a Suicide: U.S. National Guidelines” (2015) (www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/reports/national-strategy-suicide-prevention/full-report.pdf), the Winnipeg Suicide Prevention Network’s [WSPN] “A Guide for Early Responders Supporting Survivors Bereaved by Suicide” (2008)(http://suicideprevention.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Early-Responder-Final.pdf), and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services [USDHHS] 2012 “National Strategy for Suicide Prevention: Goals and Objectives for Action” (www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/reports/national-strategy-suicide-prevention/full-report.pdf).

Funeral directors interested in learning

more about suicide prevention, including risk factors, warning signs and protective factors, can seek out general training that might be available locally, or online at www.sprc.org or www.suicidology.org/.

* Suicide Prevention Action Alliance (SPAN) was formed in 1996 by a husband and wife who were survivors of the suicide of their daughter. In May 2009, SPAN merged with AFSP and serves as the public policy division of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

ReferencesNational Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention. (2015). “Responding to Grief, Trauma, and Distress After a Suicide: U.S. National Guidelines.”

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Web-based Injury and Statistics Query and Reporting System. (2015). “Leading causes of death reports.” Retrieved from www.cdc.gov/injury/wisqars/fatal.html.

Doty, T., & Spencer-Thomas, S. (2009). “The Role of Faith Communities in Suicide Prevention: A Guidebook for Faith Leaders.” Golden, CO: Carson J. Spencer Foundation.

Moskos, M., Olson, L., Halbern, S., Keller, T., & Gray, D. (2005). Utah youth suicide study: “Psychological autopsy. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior,” 35(5), 536-546.

Rosenthal, M. (2014). “How to prevent the spread of youth suicide.” The Forum, 80(8), 20-22.

Suicide Prevention Action Network. (2008). “Supporting Survivors of Suicide Loss: A Guide for Funeral Directors.”

Suicide Prevention Resource Center. (2004). “After a Suicide: Recommendations for Religious Services and Other Public Memorial Observances.” Newton, MA: Education Development Center, Inc.

Winnipeg Suicide Prevention Network. (2008). “A Guide for Early Responders Supporting Survivors Bereaved by Suicide.” Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Surgeon General, and National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention. (2012). “2012 National Strategy for Suicide Prevention: Goals and Objectives for Action.” Washington, D.C. r

The funeral service itself can help to reduce a suicide imitation effect, although careful measures must be taken to neither dismiss the severity of a suicidal act

(that is, to imply it was a reasonable response to distress), nor glamorize it.

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COMMUNITY OUTREACH

When you’re The Doyenne of Death and you put your phone number on your website, you

get asked some strange questions.The phone call came late on a

Wednesday afternoon. A woman calling from Atlanta started by praising my blog, The Family Plot. Then things got weird.

She began a rambling story about her mother’s death while being served by hospice, saying, “She was ready, she needed to die.” Her sister, who was the mother’s caregiver in another state, didn’t tell the caller that Mom had died until 30 days after her passing.

By then Mom had been cremated without an autopsy. The will had been changed in the sister’s favor, and the caller was suspicious that Mom had been killed and cremated to cover up the deed.

She wanted to know if I’d heard about other such suspicious deaths and wanted me to write about it. I suggested she call the police or hire a private investigator to get the real story. She sent a follow-up email, accusing me of hiding the truth. “You know how the system works and that thousands of people are killed before their time every day.”

That was one of the wackier questions

Questions people ask about death—and death care

by Gail Rubin, CT, CC

When you carve out a career for yourself as an expertabout death, you’re going to get some interesting questionsfrom the public, and you’d better have some answers ready.

Gail@ AGoodGoodbye.com505.265.7215

ICCFA Magazine author spotlight➤Rubin, The Doyenne of Death, is based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She is a Certified Thanatologist, a death educator who

uses humor and funny films to teach about end-of-life planning issues, grief and religious funeral traditions. She “knocked ’em dead” with her 2015 TEDxABQ talk, “A Good Goodbye,” a thought-provoking eight-and-a-half-minute discourse on the need to prepare advanced medical directives and do preneed funeral planning. See the TEDx talk online at: https://youtube/r9qR4ZiGX2Y

➤She’s the author of the award-winning book and host of the TV and radio show “A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.” Her newest

book is “Hail and Fare-well: Cremation Ceremo-nies, Templates and Tips.” (See page 77 for more information.) She also creates Mortality Minute radio spots and online videos.➤She is a Certified Funeral Celebrant and a pioneer of the Death Café movement in the United States. Her certification in thanatology comes from the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC).➤Rubin regularly contributes to ICCFA Magazine and other funeral trade magazines. You can see her coverage of previous ICCFA expos and other industry conventions at The Family Plot Blog: http://agoodgoodbye.com/category/tools-of-the-trade/

Lola, the Albuquerque Death Café mascot, with Bech Hemmerich, the coordinator of TEDx Adventures. Gail Rubin, CT, CC, gave a TEDx talk about advanced medical directives and preneed funeral planning.

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I’ve received. By phone, by email and at in-person presentations, people have lots of questions about death and the funeral business. I do my best to provide sound answers. What follows is just a sample of the questions I get.

By email and online “Hi. I came across your website through a Google search. I am a business

development guy working for a pathology office. They have asked me to look into the possibility of offering brain autopsy services for families who seek closure/answers on a loved one’s dementia. You may know that dementia types can’t always be accurately diagnosed but autopsies can bring answers.

“I am looking for someone in the hospice or funeral care industry who may be able to help me identify a logistics route

for such a service. The requirement for a brain autopsy is for a full brain autopsy so (sorry to point this out) the full brain organ needs to be looked at.

“To keep this brief, I am looking for an expert in the funeral business or hospice care, or both, who may be able to offer some advice as to how to best handle the logistics of such a service, meaning would it make sense to offer such service through funeral homes or hospice or other, and would funeral homes support the idea or not want the hassle.

“Hopefully this is not one of the stranger emails you have received.”

In fact, this email does take top prize, at least to date. I suggested he get in touch with funeral business consultant Dan Isard to see if he had any good thoughts on the idea. (You’re welcome, Dan.)

Online, one of my most popular blog posts on The Family Plot Blog concerns Greek Orthodox funeral traditions.

Fifty questions and comments have been posted, including questions about kolyva (a baked treat served at funerals), whether it’s proper to send a Mass card (no, Greek Orthodox don’t do that) and post-funeral mourning traditions.

It’s ironic that a nice Jewish girl in Albuquerque, New Mexico, produced a top Google-ranking post about Greek Orthodox funerals.

My go-to reliable source is our local friendly Greek Orthodox priest, Father Conan Gill.

Questions at live presentationsA crop of death-curious people attended the TEDx Adventure in follow-up to my TEDxABQ talk on end-of-life issues. At a Death Café held at a French Funerals & Cremations location in Albuquerque, the event included a full tour of the facilities, including behind-the-scenes areas.

The attendees peppered location manager and funeral director Apollo Miller with questions about funeral traditions, cremation, green burial, embalming and more.

After the tour, one person asked me, “How do you start the funeral planning conversation with someone who doesn’t


After the tour, one person asked me, “How do you start the funeral planning conversation with someone who doesn’t want to talk about it?” My top two recommendations: lead by example,

by making your own funeral plans, and watch a funny film or TV show related to funerals.

Rubin, some participants in a Death Café at French Funerals & Cremation and Lola, the Albuquerque Death Café mascot.

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want to talk about it?” My top two recommendations: lead by example, by making your own funeral plans, and watch a funny film or TV show related to funerals.

Watching the Emmy-winning “Chuckles Bites the Dust” episode of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” from 1975 is the best 30 minutes you can spend. The story involves the untimely death of the TV station’s resident clown and what happens at his funeral. You’ll laugh, relax and learn.

The program ends with the characters discussing what they want for their own funerals, which provides viewers with the perfect opportunity to start the same conversation when the show is over. The program is easily available online or through DVD rental.

At one of my public presentations called “Laughing in the Face of Death: Funny Films for Funeral Planning,” members of the audience asked a wide range of questions:

Q: “Can you donate your organs and still donate your body to science to get a free cremation?”

A: It depends on where you plan to donate your body. Medical schools want intact bodies for students to dissect. You can still donate your corneas and have your body accepted for anatomical study.

Some national body donation services such as MedCure, Science Care and the Life Legacy Foundation may accept a body that has had organs removed. You need to do your research before you make a commitment.

Q: “Can you get a free cremation just by donating your organs?”

A: No. While the recipients of your organs and their families will be eternally grateful for the gift of life you provide, there is no program that pays for a crema-tion after you donate your organs. Your estate is still responsible for funeral expenses.

Q: After telling the audience that the National Funeral Directors Association survey of funeral costs in 2014 indicated the national median average cost of a funeral with a viewing and burial was $7,181, a vault brought the total to $8,508 and a funeral with cremation was $6,078: “What do you actually get for that amount of money?”

A: The breakdown of items included: non-declinable services fee (for handling paperwork and arrangements), removal/transfer of remains to the funeral home, embalming, other preparation of the body, use of facilities and staff for the viewing and funeral service, hearse, service car/van, basic memorial printing package and a metal casket.

Many eyes widened and jaws dropped when I said this did not include the costs for a cemetery plot, opening and closing of the grave, monument or marker costs, flowers or an obituary. They were amazed to hear the full costs can run $10,000 or more and that these costs have increased by 28 percent over the past 10 years.

I also sketched out the differences between preneed funeral insurance and final expense insurance. You can

read about the pros and cons of both in this article at my website: http://agoodgoodbye.com/celebrant-services/funeral-insurance/.

By phoneProbably the most popular question that comes by phone is, “Where can I get the cheapest cremation in the area?” I give callers information on three local low-cost providers and encourage them to do their homework.

The prevalence of this question tells me the issue of cost continues to be a prime concern for funeral consumers, whether preneed or at-need. It also shows that many people are looking to experts who are not funeral directors for information about funerals—a disturbing reflection on the industry.

I’d love to see more funeral homes opening their facilities for tours as we did with French Funerals & Cremations. People have questions they want answered. The public needs to see funeral directors in their place of business during an event other than a funeral.

By the way, you can see a video of that funeral home tour on YouTube: https://youtube/7NeLS_9ofwY.

As a death educator, I’ve accurately and honestly answered most questions the public has sent my way. However, that one caller’s wacky question about Mom’s suspicious death and suspected cremation cover-up stumped the Doyenne of Death. What would you have told her? r


I’d love to see more funeral homes opening their facilities for tours as we didwith French Funerals & Cremations. People have questions they want answered.

The public needs to see funeral directors in their place of businessduring an event other than a funeral.

Funeral director Apollo Miller, location manager for French Funerals & Cremations, gives a tour, talking about cremation prod-ucts and the prep room and listening to a question from one of the tour participants. The nearly one-hour tour is on YouTube.

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MANAGEMENT

We are creating a column for cemeterians that shines a spotlight on a problem and

then outlines a corresponding answer or solution. It will be similar to the business-fixing television shows where restaurants, hotels or bars undergo reconstruction or implement new business practices in order to become more profitable.

This column is written by the staff of The Foresight Companies. If you have a question you want to be featured in this column, please send it to [email protected].

Dan or a member of his staff will call you to get more information and a recommendation will be provided via this column, helping not only you but also others who are facing similar challenges.

Let’s get started with our first fix.

The missionI have a 40-acre cemetery and about 30 acres are not yet developed. The 10 developed acres are about 25 percent sold. Almost 85 percent of the sales are interred. My funeral home does about 100 cases a year and 30 percent of those cases are cremated.

How much more inventory should I develop and when?

Background of organizationThe one-location, privately-owned cemetery has been owned and managed by a funeral home owner for the past 30 years. Though the funeral home and cemetery have common ownership, they are located two miles apart.

The town where they are located has a population of about 15,000. There is one other cemetery owned by the city and

in the surrounding county are two small church-owned cemeteries.

CI solutionOver the course of 30 years you have had almost 10,000 graves to sell and you sold about 2,500. That is about 80 graves a year, and is nearly even with your annual number of at-need funeral services.

Do you see what’s happening here? In reality you do not have a cemetery, you have an extension service to your funeral home. That is not necessarily bad, but your cemetery is not being operated in a productive way.

The answer to your question addresses both your funeral home and your cemetery. You need to increase sales in advance of need. At the current rate of sales, you probably have about 7,500 interment rights remaining for sale.

At your historical sales rate of about 80 a year, that is almost a 90-year inventory. So, the answer to your first question of how much more inventory you need to develop is “none!” There is no need to develop any of the remaining acreage at this point.

To increase preneed sales, you need to implement a proactive preneed program at your funeral home and cross-train with cemetery sales. Have your salespeople look at existing funeral home preneed arrangements and make note of any that do not designate a place of interment. Contact those people and talk to them about your cemetery now.

Conversely, anytime there is a cemetery

Cemeteries, even those that benefit from combinationownership, face more challenges than ever these days.

Starting in this issue, Dan Isard and his team will be providing cemeterians with options, advice and answers in this column.

Cemetery ImpossibleDoes this cemetery need more developed property, or a better preneed sales program?

[email protected]

ICCFA Magazine author spotlight➤Isard is president of The Foresight Companies, LLC, a Phoenix-based business and manage-

ment consulting firm specializing in merg-ers and acquisitions, valuations, account-ing, financing and customer surveys.➤He is the author of several books, and the host of “The Dan Isard Show.”http://funeralradio.com

MoRE FRoM THIS AuTHoR➤Educational information, including copies of this article, can be found atwww.f4sight.com

➤You can follow Isard on Twitter at @f4sight and “like” his page on Facebook.

by Daniel M. Isard, MSFS


MANAGEMENT

sale, you can make a funeral arrangement as well. Even if the funeral arrangement isn’t funded immediately, having a plan in place still gets people thinking they are committed to your funeral home.

The situation you are describing is one of the most common situations we see. You’re in a small town. Everyone knows everyone’s business. The lines of market share are well demarcated, with the two funeral homes and the cemeteries probably having similar non-transferring markets.

One of the great advantages to owning a combination funeral and cemetery property is the financial strength of one impacts the other. We do not see fighting between organizations for the vault and memorial marker sales. This allows the owner to generate more profit.

I would encourage you to concentrate on advance selling because of the market’s increasing shift from traditional burial to cremation. If your market resembles the average market in the United States today, with 40 percent cremation cases and 60 percent traditional burial, remember that is going to be changing in the future.

But if we get people to prefund and commit to traditional burial today, the odds are high that those consumers will not change their minds, even though many of their friends will convert to cremation.

Studies indicate that 58 percent of all U.S. consumers indicate a preference for cremation. So work to lock in a higher traditional burial number today.

If you can increase sales from 80 to about 120 a year, you will have achieved a 50 percent increase in sales. You still won’t need to develop more property for a long time, so you will find revenue increasing dramatically with little additional cost.

You probably have thought of your cemetery as benefitting from the goodwill generated by your funeral home, but by increasing preneed sales your cemetery will actually be a marketing lead generator for the funeral home. r

But if we get people to prefund and commit to traditional

burial today, the odds are high that those consumers will

not change their minds, even though many of their friends

will convert to cremation.

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[email protected]

Today, critical thinking is needed in the workplace more than ever before. Teams and individuals can learn how

to think more effectively and consequently get better results.

Of course, changes or improvements in the way teams think do not happen overnight. For such a transformation to occur in a funeral home, crematory or cemetery, a team must learn to think together; this requires good listening skills.

Through a coherent review of various cultures, I have identified several positions or opinions. One of those positions is the way society imagines that race is not a factor in decision-making in social groups.

The fact is, we are separated by cultures, ideologies and individual distinctions. As a case in point, let’s reflect on something we see in urban America. You will not find Latino gang members and African-American gang members coming together as one social group; it simply does not happen.

However, we are seeing more interracial churches around the country, based on and dedicated to the belief that we are all one big family unified by God.

And in many parts of the country, the staffs of mortuaries and cemeteries are

diverse, weaving unique, colorful ethnic patterns.

We are innately sociocentric as well as egocentric. We fall under the sway of domi-na ting social groups. We find ourselves in conflict with members of groups whose ex_

periences and attitudes differ from our own.Do we allow this to affect how we view

some of the families we serve? How we view some of our colleagues or employees?

If your ideology is totally different from that of a family you have been called on to serve, are you truly providing them with the best service you possibly can, or are you falling short due your differences, perhaps due to a desire to limit your interaction with them?

In February 2009, we all witnessed a speech by then newly appointed U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder. In the opening of his speech, he stated that we are a nation of cowards because we do not socialize with other races during our time away from work, evenings and weekends.

Some found his delivery to be pompous, arrogant or offensive, but his message should have raised our consciousness of these divi-sions and how they affect our society.

We all have to consciously work on

Becoming aware of differences so we can work to bridge them

➤Newbern is owner of Metropolitan Mortuary, Jurupa Valley, California.www.metropolitan mortuary.com

➤He has more than 21 years of funeral service experience. He was the quality control supervising embalmer for Rose Hills Mortuary, Whittier, California, where he worked for 10 years, and worked for nine years at Inglewood Cemetery Mortu-ary, Inglewood, California.➤He received his degree in mortuary science from San Francisco College of Mortuary Science.➤He is an expert witness, speaker and consultant on funeral service isues.www.shunnewbern.com

by Shun Newbern, MS, CFSP

ICCFA Magazine author spotlight

Being aware that our social and cultural backgrounds affectour views is the first step to improving our interactions with others.

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developing the ability to think beyond the social groups we belong to, to understand other people better. We must work to be confident that when we are using critical thinking in making decisions that we are considering the cultural and social differences of our staff and team members, as well as of the families we serve. r


[email protected]

➤Van Beck is one of the most sought-after speakers and educators in funeral service.www.toddvanbeck.com

➤He is the director of continuing educa-tion for John A. Gupton College, Nashville, Tennessee.www.guptoncollege.edu➤Van Beck is dean of ICCFA University’s College of Funeral Home Management and received the ICCFA EducationalFoundation’s first ever Lasting Impact Award in 2014.

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

As funeral and cemetery professionals, we need to establish trust and respect between ourselves and our client families. Merely saying “you can trust me” isn’t the way to do it.

ICCFA Magazineauthor spotlight

“Like” Todd Van Beck on Facebook today!f

The funeral experience can easily be viewed as sacred, and because it possesses sacred overtones,

the quality and character of the funeral professional is of profound importance. Because of this unique situation, a pressing question is what do we bring with us as funeral professionals, inside of us, about us, that may help or hinder (or even not affect) bereaved clients? This is indeed a tough question to tackle.

The funeral professional ought to bring to the funeral arrangement and funeral experience as much of ourselves as we possibly can, stopping, of course, short of the point at which this may negatively affect the client family or deny them the help they need.

Feeling within ourselves that we genuinely wish to help a bereaved person as much as possible and that there is nothing at the moment more important to us—this, I believe, is a priceless ideal for all funeral professionals to embrace.

This ability to feel within ourselves is a critical asset for every funeral interviewer to possess, particularly in such complicated times when people’s abilities and skills to connect with each other are eroded by cynicism, faceless communication and suspicions of others which seem to increase every day.

As the great thinker Alvin Toffler once said, “As technological skills go up, people skills go down.” Interesting thought for the year 2016.

What we are exploring here is what could easily be called the high substantive funeral service ideals. Most of us (myself included) simply cannot realize immediately what this encompasses, but this is never a good reason not to try to delve into what makes a great funeral director versus what makes a run-of-the-mill director.

When the customer/family perceives that we are doing our level best (this is the invisible and silent key), it means

something to them, and proves helpful. If nothing else, they will probably take away from the funeral interview and experience the feeling that we as funeral professionals may be trusted and the conviction that we respect them.

This is important. Without this feeling, the standard, old-style “funeral arrangement” procedure probably will get finished, but little that is really positive or of a lasting impression will be accomplished.

Merely saying the words, “I can be trusted” and/or “I fully respect you” will not help if the bereaved client does not sense it to be true. I think this establishing of trust and respect is what those who teach and write in the field of personal relations are most often referring to when they speak of “contact,” “good rapport,” “good relationship” and “connecting.”

Because of its critical importance in this “connecting” process, trust is something we must work relentlessly to gain—and to keep.

The real good news is that funeral professionals have ample statistical evidence to back up the premise that in general, funeral people do connect with people in a trusting and respectful manner.

For years, the Gallup Poll has asked the American public to rank the top 10 most ethical and honest professionals in their communities, and funeral directors have always been included in the top 10. I find it interesting that the people I’ve run across who are most skeptical about this statistic are funeral professionals themselves!

The experience of trust has a powerful and ever-present, intangible aspect to it, determined most by the simple, old-fashioned human interest you and I take in what the client family is saying and by the understanding we show them about their feelings and attitudes.

We communicate this—or the lack thereof—constantly, by diverse and frequently subtle nonverbal cues that the

by ICCFA Magazine columnist Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE

The keys to service: Trust

MoRE FRoM THIS AuTHoR

➤Van Beck’s new book is “Reverence for the Dead: The Unavoidable Link.” (See page 77 for more information.) The book addresses in detail the ethical standards of caring for the dead and the ethical consequences

of not doing so. It can be ordered at www.amazon.com.

Van Beck will present “Dueling Fu-nerals,” about the funerals of Abraham Lincoln and Jefferson Davis, at the ICCFA 2016

Convention & Expo, April 13-16, in New Orleans, Louisiana. See page 102.

➤ICCFA university 2016 will be held July 22-27 at the Fogelman Confer-ence Center, University of

Memphis, Memphis, Tennessee. Van Beck is a dean and professor. Curricula and registration information will be available in the spring at www.iccfa.com/events.


client family may be more aware of than we ourselves are.

Of course, our facial expressions reveal a great deal—we all know that. Our gestures contribute to the picture, supporting, denying, confirming, rejecting or confusing. Families hear the tone of our voice, and they decide whether it matches our words or whether they whisper, “Sham, phony—beware!” Nearly everything we do or leave undone is noted and weighed.

And so we come back to this: What of ourselves do we bring to the funeral interview and experience? Oddly, we are the only known in the entire funeral equation. We cannot do anything about our bereaved client families; they are who they are.

But we can always do something about ourselves. We can always be aware and sensitive to continually improving by expanding our creative horizons, but also by being lifelong students of our beloved profession, digesting and embracing absolutely everything and anything that has something to do with funeral service.

Here then are some common-sense suggestions, or guidelines if you will, which will help you connect with families in trust and respect, in and out of the arrangement conference:

• First, funeral professionals are people who are easy to talk to.

• Second, funeral professionals offer people something to do.

• Third, funeral professionals give people ways to express feelings.

• Fourth, funeral professionals give people something to hold on to.

• Fifth, funeral professionals give people something to believe in.

Also:• Communicate; never cross-examine.• Maintain a genuinely friendly and

interested attitude. This takes work.• Abstain from revealing your own

attitude.• Keep your personal problems out of

the funeral interview.• Avoid a patronizing or scientifically

detached attitude.• Avoid gossiping or revealing

confidences.

• Avoid getting rushed or giving the impression that you are pressed for time.

• Attend exclusively to the client by blocking out all outside interferences.

• Be alert to detect what the client is expressing and feeling.

This list is not complete, but as with all life-skill improvements, it provides a beginning. Look it over; memorize it. See if your connection with bereaved families in terms of trust and respect becomes deeper. It’s worth the time and effort. r

P R O F E S S I O N A L D E V E L O P M E N T

As the great thinker Alvin Toffler once said, “As technological skills go up,people skills go down.” Interesting thought for the year 2016.

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Supply Line

READERS: To find the products and ser-vices you need online, go to www.iccfa.com and select “directory” to find:

Supply Link Search Engine, the fastest way to find the products and services you need at your funeral home, cemetery or crematory.

SUPPLIERS: Send your press releases about your new products and services, and about awards, personnel changes and other news to [email protected] for inclusion in Supply Line. Large files that will not go through the ICCFA server can be sent to [email protected].

n FuneralTech, Kingston, Ontario, has launched eturnal Memorials, which creates one-of-a-kind personalized 3D printed urns and keepsakes. Clients and families work directly with an artist to create a unique sculpture that reflects their loved one’s personality. The urns are not being sold directly to consumers; sales must go through authorized resellers. 1.800.480.6467; www.funeraltech.com; www.eturnalmemorials.comn MeMory glass, Santa Barbara, Cali-fornia, has released a “pink ribbon” tribute orb honoring efforts to fight breast cancer. The company will donate 10 percent of all proceeds from this product to theAmerican Cancer Society. The goal in developing this tribute orb was to create a memorialization piece to honor the fighting spirit of loved ones who have battled this devastating disease.

Similar in size and basic shape as a large Memory Glass orb, the tribute orb is a solid, clear crystal glass memorial containing a ribbon-shaped pink glass design. A small amount of cremated remains is fused within the glass, floating above the ribbon. The trib-ute orb can honor those lost to other cancers simply by changing the ribbon’s color to any one of Memory Glass’ 16 available colors. 1.866.488.4554; [email protected]; www.MemoryGlass.com n howarD Miller co., Zeeland, Michigan, has introduced the Bombay chest urn. The elegant, fully-lined urn is key locked. It accommodates a temporary con-tainer or the bronze insert. The finish is high gloss. It is available from Cressy Memorial. 1.866.763.0485; www.cressymemorial.com 616.772.9131; www.howardmiller.comn legacy.coM, Evanston, Illinois, doubled donations given during December at www.legacy.com/charity up to $50,000. Families that visit Legacy.com, which pro-vides obituaries and related services, often choose to support a meaningful charity or cause as a way of doing good in memory of loved ones. www.legacy.comn vanDor corp., Richmond, Indiana, and c.J. BooTs, Anderson, Indiana, have merged. Chris Boots will remain president of C.J. Boots as well as become a Vandor share-holder, said Vandor President Gerald Davis. Vandor’s funeral products division manufac-tures cloth-covered and wood-veneer burial and cremation products marketed under the Starmark cremation products and Vision Cas-ket brands, as well as casket interior compo-

nents for other companies. A core line of C.J. Boots-branded hardwood and craft caskets are now available, as well. www.vandorcorp.com 1.877.5CJ.BOOTS; www.cjboots.com

n Johnson consulT-ing, Scottsdale, Arizona, has hired erin whitaker as senior director, operations integration. She will use her skills and experience in the ar-eas of operations and process improvement at each of the FPG funeral home and cem-

etery locations. A third-generation funeral director, Whitaker joined Eastman Kodak as a chemical engineer and project manager after college.After six years, she went back to school and obtained her MBA degree. While completing her degree, she began work-ing part-time at the family’s funeral home, Whitaker Funeral Home, Newberry, South Carolina. She then became a licensed funeral director and embalmer, joining Whitaker on a permanent basis as both a funeral director and business manager.

Whitaker then worked as a financial and business management consultant at The Foresight Companies, Phoenix, Arizona. She is a Cremation Association of North America board member. 1.888.250.7747; [email protected] www.johnsonconsulting.com

n passare, San Francisco, California, has added Julie hofmann and Matt Dugas as account executives. Before joining Passare, Hofmann worked as a regional sales manager for AT&T Busi-ness Solutions. She also has several years of experience in account sales and manage-ment training. Dugas has several years of experience as an account executive, offering case management solutions for funeral home clients. He has worked with hundreds of funeral homes across the U.S. to improve the efficiency

of their business and has spoken at various funeral conferences. 925.968.9495; www.passare.comn sprung MeMorial, Lindenhurst, New York, has acquired Master Memorials. John Lange, vice president of Sprung Memo-

The “pink ribbon” tribute orb from Mem-ory Glass honors efforts to fight breast cancer.

Aboveand right, EturnalMemorial urns byFuneralTech.

Howard Miller’s new Bom-bay chest urn.

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rial Group’s New Jersey operation will oversee Master Memorials to ensure the transition is seamless and efficient for both parties in the present and future.

In addition, Sprung Memorial Group has hired vicki Jurkiewicz as the manager of the westfield location. Jurkiewicz has amassed knowledge of the monument and funeral business based on her time at Bernheim Apter Kreitzman Funeral Home. Marian Muoio, who has been with Master Memorials for more than 35 years will continue to lend her experience and expertise to the families of Toms River. 631.957.0700; www.sprungmonuments.com

n upD urns, Three Rivers, California, has launched a new cremation jewelry sub-scription service for funeral homes called pendant Box. With Pendant Box, funeral homes can choose to subscribe to four, eight or 12 units of jewelry to be sent to them

every 60 days. Custom quantities and delivery frequency is available and funeral homes can save up to 40 percent on their jewelry when they subscribe. UPD Urns has recently designed more than 25 new pieces of crema-tion jewelry and has focused on this category for the past 18 months, said UPD CEO Tyler Fraser. 1.800.590.4133; [email protected]; www.updurns.com n KuBoTa, Torrance, California, has introduced the all-new ZD series zero-turn mower line-up, and three new commercial walk-behind, gas-powered mowers, the WG14-36, WH15-48 and the WHF19-52. Kubota introduces the all-new ZD Series zero-turn mower lineup: the ZD1000 and ZD1200. The new ZD series features Kubota’s aerodynamic cutting system, which provides for more efficient use of power.

All models are driven by powerful Kubota diesel engines with hydrostatic transmissions and pivoting front axles. Available deck widths are 48, 54, 60 and 72 inches. The ZD series’ premium suspen-sion seats improve rider comfort, and LCD display panel on the ZD1200 allows easy monitoring of vehicle functions. The walk-behind mowers are available in three deck widths and each model is powered by a reliable Kawasaki V-twin gasoline engine with outputs ranging from 14 to 19 horse-power. The WG14-36 features a five-speed gear-drive transmission with reverse assist,

Fraser


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and the WH15-48 and WHF19-52 use Hydro-Gear variable displacement pumps with Parker wheel motors. 1.888.458.2682, ext. 900; www.kubota.comn passages inTernaTional, Albu-querque, New Mexico, has introduced a new fabric shroud. These industry-first woven bamboo fabric shrouds have jute carrying handles and are suitable for cremation or burial. Each shroud includes simple-to-follow instructions on shrouding a body, which can also be found on the company’s website. The shrouds can be used in three ways: on a Pas-

sages’ willow carrier, inside a Passages eco-friendly casket or on its own, using a locally-sourced rigid board for support. Produced from sustainable, biodegradable

willow, the carrier is designed for dignified viewing of a dressed or

shrouded body. It features a rigid base with flax rope and seagrass handles. The car-rier contains no metal or plastic components and features a fitted, water-resistant natural cotton interior lining, making it suitable for burial, cremation or re-use. 1.888.480.6400; sales@passagesinternationalcom; www.PassagesInternational.comn new MeMorials DirecT, Gig Harbor, Washington has changed its name to Bailey & Bailey. They are still offering the same line of cremation jewelry, including fingerprint, cremation and photo pieces. 1.877.995.8767; [email protected]; www.newmemorialsdirect.comn coluMBariuM By Design, El Paso, Texas, is introducing its state-of-the-art niche system to the american and cana-dian markets. These niches are weather resistant and made of unbreakable high-density polypropylene that can be customized to any specific measure with a capacity of one to eight uns. The niches are created and manufactured in Querétaro, Mexico, and of-fer unique design capabilities for architects of columbariums, as well as significant cost and maintenance savings over concrete niches.

These high-quality niches can be used indoor/outdoor and can withstand the most adverse climate and weather conditions, including earthquakes and flooding. Clients of the company can also use the firm’s archi-tectural and design center in Querétaro to direct an existing structure from concept to a one-of-a-kind columbarium. 915.504.5458; www.columbariumbydesign.com

n heKMan, Zeeland, Michigan, has in-troduced the new copper-topped Demilune console table. The table is softly distressed, with a rounded edge. It is 32 inches high and can be used as a stand-alone table or as part of a wall setting. It is available through Cressy Memorial. 1.866.763.0485; www.cressymemorial.com 616.748.2660; www.hekman.comn FeDeraTeD Funeral DirecTors oF aMerica, Springfield, Illinois, has re-leased an updated portal dedicated to Fed-erated members. This portal offers increased accessibility in real time to a business’ key financial information in a snapshot summa-rizing key performance data and using graphs and charts. Information is displayed visually to simplify the data and offers comparisons with past business performance as well as Federated averages. Federated’s new member portal is accessible from any device, including a smartphone, tablet or computer.

Federated also celebrated its 90th an-niversary in 2015. Federated was founded in 1925 by J.C. Rodenburg and C.E. Hahn. The company emerged from the pair’s previous business enterprise, the Hahn-Rodenburg Advertising Agency. A large portion of their clients were funeral homes, and the entre-preneurs noted that many of these customers experienced high accounts receivables.They questioned if something might be done to help funeral directors handle their business affairs more efficiently.

Federated has grown and changed during the course of its 90 years in business. Today, Federated employs approximately 180 people, including a team of field consultants located throughout the U.S. The company continues to operate its main office from Springfield, Illinois, as well as an office in Jacksonville, Florida. In 2011, Federated was bought by Fiducial, a privately owned international busi-ness known as the number one accounting firm in France with a focus on small busi-nesses and entrepreneurs.

Federated also recently hosted a regional meeting at Worsham College of Mortuary Science in Wheeling, Illinois. The meeting, which offered eight hours of continuing edu-cation, was attended by funeral professionals from eight states. 1.877.3332; www.federated-funeral.comn Funeral DirecTors liFe insur-ance co., Abilene, Texas, was recognized with the innovation Trailblazer award in honor of its extensions to the genelco

Kubota’s ZD series zero-turn mower.

Hekman’s new copper-topped Demi-lune console table.

Three of the cremation jewelry pieces available from Bailey & Bailey, formerly New Memorials Direct.

Passages’ newfabric shroudinside a willow carrier.

The bronze interior color finish option for niches byColumbarium By Design.


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insurance administration solution product in 2015. The award was presented by Concen-trix Insurance Solutions. Genelco Software Solutions is a business unit within Concen-trix Corp., which was acquired from IBM in February 2014. GIAS is a new-generation insurance administration system developed to modernize, consolidate, and transform insur-ance operations. www.funeraldirectorslife.comn MorTuary liFT co., Cedar Rapids, Iowa, was recently featured on Mike rowe’s “somebody’s gotta Do it,” on cnn. Rowe was intrigued when he learned about Katie Hill and the company she owns and operates, particularly its flagship product, The Ultimate 1000 Lift. As a result of that visit, Mortuary Lift, Hill and The Ultimate 1000 Lift were featured in a segment on the Wednesday, Oc-tober 28 show. Like most people, Rowe hadn’t considered the need for a device that assists funeral professionals by lifting the bodies they are preparing, creating a safe work environ-

ment and allow-ing one person to do the job. He and Hill bantered a bit before Hill strapped him in the Ultimate 1000 and moved him easily around the preparation room. “Mike came away with a better un-derstanding of the challenges faced by funeral professionals

every day,” said Hill. The segment can be seen at www.cnn.com/videos/tv/2015/10/28/dead-

body-lift-mike-rowe-somebodys-gotta-do-it.cnn 1.800.628.8809; www.mortuarylift.com n asTral inDusTries, Lynn, Indiana, recently hosted the fall class from cincinnati college of Mortu-ary science at the company’s home office. The students were taken on a plant tour, attended a seminar and were given the chance to ask ques-tions. 1.800.278.7252; sales@

astralindustries.com www.astralindustries.com

n FronTrunner, Kingston, Ontario, has announced a gift of $50,000 to the university hospital Kingston Foundation. The gift, in support of the Extraordinary People-Innovation Health Care Program, was made on behalf of the Montroy family and the FrontRunner staff, said Kevin Mon-troy, company founder and CEO.

“As a proud grandfather of my amaz-ing twin granddaughters, my family and I witnessed first-hand the level of care and commitment shown to them, and us, over their four-months’ stay at NICU,” Montroy said. “It was this appreciation and gratitude that inspired us to want to do more.” 866.748.3625; www.FrontRunner360.comn oBiTDaTa.coM, Chicago, Illinois, has launched online acces to its obituary volume and market share tracking service. Using the new online service, subscribers are able to set up password protected accounts and select funeral homes to be tracked. Subscription packages are based on the radius around the funeral home selected for track-ing. Prior to creating an account, subscribers can view the funeral homes included in each package to ensure they are getting access to the competitive data they need. Features of the online system include customized reports with different competitive sets, single or trended time period selections. Report selections can be saved so generating future reports takes minimal time and effort, data is sortable on multiple fields and data is export-able. www.obitdata.comn wilBerT Funeral services, Broadview, Illinois, recently honored 55 licensees as ultimate service providers for 2015. Those so honored are: Gulf Coast Wilbert Inc., Crestview, Florida; Wilbert Funeral Services, Fort Myers, Florida; Wilbert Funeral Services, Jacksonville, Florida; Master Grave Service Inc., Bogart, Georgia; Northern Illinois Vault Co. Inc., Belvidere, Illinois; Kel-ley Vault Co. Inc., Danville, Illinois; Decatur Wilbert Burial Vault Co., Decatur, Illinois; Knauer Industries LLC, Joliet, Illinois; Peoria Wilbert Vault Co. Inc., Metamora, Illinois; Quincy Wilbert Vault Co., Quincy, Illinois; Sterling Vault Co., Sterling, Illinois; Schultz Wilbert Vault Co., Streator, Illinois

Also, Akron Concrete Products Inc., Akron, Indiana; Indianapolis Wilbert Vault Co. Inc., Indianapolis, Indiana; Burlington Wilbert Vault Works Inc., Burlington, Iowa; Clinton Wilbert Vaults, Inc., Clinton, Iowa; Wilbert Burial Vault Co., Fort Dodge, Iowa;

Mike Rowe of CNN’s “Somebody’s Gotta Do it” visits Mortuary Lift Co.

The fall class from the Cincinnati Col-lege of Mortuary Science visits Astral Industries.

Frontrunner makes a donation to the Uni-versity Hospital Kingston Foundation.


Roland-Wilbert Vault Co. Inc., Marion, Iowa; Mason City Wilbert Vault Co., Mason City, Iowa; Waterloo Wilbert Vault Co., Waterloo, Iowa; Wilbert Funeral Services, Parsons, Kansas; Wilbert Funeral Services, Wamego, Kansas; Wilbert Funeral Services, Wichita, Kansas.

Also, Baton Rouge Wilbert Burial Vault Co., Baton Rouge, Louisiana; Richards-Wil-bert Inc., Hagerstown, Maryland; Brown-Wilbert Inc., St. Cloud, Minnesota; Wilbert Funeral Services, Grandview, Missouri; Wilbert Funeral Services, Moberly, Missouri; Wilbert Funeral Services, Mountain Grove, Missouri; St. Louis Wilbert Vault Co., St. Louis, Missouri; Wilbert Funeral Services, St. Joseph, Missouri; Wilbert Funeral Services, Springfield, Missouri; Wilbert Funeral Ser-vices, Versailles, Missouri;

Also, Yates Wilbert Vault Co. Inc., Char-lotte, North Carolina; Arnold Wilbert Corp., Goldsboro, North Carolina; Wilbert Burial Vault Co., Lumberton, North Carolina; Baxter Burial Vault Service, Cincinnati, Ohio; Bell Vault & Monument Co., Miamisburg, Ohio; Turner Vault Co., Northwood, Ohio; Ohio Vault Works Inc., Valley View, Ohio; Wilbert Funeral Services, Lawton, Oklahoma; Wilbert Funeral Services, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; Wilbert Funeral Services, Tulsa, Oklahoma; Columbia Wilbert Vault Co., Cayce, South Carolina; Wilbert Burial Vault Co. Inc., Greenville, South Carolina; Charleston Wil-bert Vault Co., Summerville, South Carolina.

Also, Lawrenceburg Burial Vault Co., Lawrenceburg, Tennessee; Memphis Burial Vault Co., Memphis, Tennessee; Nashville Wilbert Burial Vault Co., Nashville, Tennes-see; Wilbert Vaults of Houston LLP, Houston, Texas; Wilbert Funeral Services, Cedar Hill, Texas; Wilbert Funeral Services, San Antonio, Texas; Richards-Wilbert Inc./Roanoke Valley, Salem, Virginia; Brown-Wilbert Inc., Milwau-kee, Wisconsin; and Brown-Wilbert Inc., Sun Prairie, Wisconsin. 1.888.WILBERT; www.wilbert.comn uniTy FunDing co., Cincinnati, Ohio, has launched a new webiste. The site contains all the forms necessary to partner with UFC and all forms necessary to com-plete the funding process. All forms on the new site can be filled out online. The user-friendly website also contains recent news items to help clients get to know more about UFC. The site includes all of the relevant contact information and a brief history about the company. 855.414.8814; www.unityfundingco.com r

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B O O K S

Is it true that “natural cremation” takes place inside the above-ground

tombs in New Orleans? How do those tombs, many designed to hold two caskets, manage to contain the remains of dozens of family members? Why do the city’s famous jazz funerals end with joyous music? Where is the Katrina Memorial, built with the participation of many funeral professionals, and why is it practically unknown?

These questions, and many more, are answered in Mary LaCoste’s book, “Death Embraced: New Orleans Tombs and Burial Customs—Behind the Scenes Accounts of Decay, Love and Tradition,” a collection of stories about the city’s cemeteries and its funeral rituals.

As she notes in the preface, the chapters stand alone and can be read in any order. So, if you’re tempted to read the last one, “Jazz Funerals—A Joyous Tradition,” first, go right ahead. But if you start at the beginning— “A ‘Typical’ Tour of the Oldest Cemetery”—and read straight through to the end, you’ll find you can read all 16 stories in one sitting.

The paperback version (it’s also available as an e-book) is 126 pages, and that includes an appendix listing all cemeteries inside the city’s borders with information about how to get there and what to look for when you do.

If you’re attending the ICCFA Convention

in New Orleans (April 13-16), this is the perfect book to take with you. You can read it on the plane and then use it as a reference guide for ceme-tery visits. Whether you go on the ICCFA’s tour during the convention or strike off on your own, LaCoste’s descriptions and stories will help you get the most from your visit.

LaCoste’s stories, written for the general public, treat the cemetery and funeral profes sion

with respect and appreciation. For exam-ple, in the chapter “Race and the Funeral Business,” she says: “Funeral directors and cemetery administrators are sensitive to the religious and cultural customs of the families who use them and are known for providing counseling, guidance and sympathy.”

LaCoste says her husband’s family tomb sparked her interest in the city’s burial customs. After retiring from a teaching career, she became a journalist and tour guide. She wanted to make sure she was giving correct information on her tours, and also wanted to be able to answer questions her grandchildren might have about the family’s tomb—one of those small buildings that somehow manages to contain the remains of dozens of people.

Her research convinced her that many of the stories tour guides use are based on hearsay that has never been checked. What’s more surprising, LaCoste discovered there was plenty of information that can be authenticated that was not being dissemi na-ted, at least not until her book was published.

In other words, this is a subject where no exaggeration or hearsay is necessary to tell an interesting story. It would be difficult to be boring when talking about a city where any discussion of cemetery tours must mention voodoo, the vampire stories of New Orleans resident Anne Rice, the “Superdome curse” and the Tomb of the Unknown Slave. The fact that she strives for accuracy and debunks some of that handed-down hearsay does not make LaCoste’s stories any less interesting.

The appendices include maps with the location of cemeteries indicated, and list every cemetery within city limits. She gives a brief history of each cemetery, lists famous burials and features, notes if they are open to the public (some are open only to tours, not to individuals walking in) and even makes observations about the neighborhoods.

Readers may be surprised at just how many cemeteries there are, and at the variety. Despite the “too-high water table” stories, there are plenty of in-ground burials in New Orleans, and not only Roman Catholic but also Protestant, Jewish and non-sectarian cemeteries. —ICCFA Magazine editor Susan Loving

LaCoste wrote the book on death & burial in New Orleans

Mary LaCoste with one of above-ground tombs for which New Orleans cemeteries are famous. In her book, LaCoste examines and either explains or debunks the many stories about the city’s funeral and burial straditions.

MORE FROM THIS AUTHOR

More about this subject

LaCoste will speak at the ICCFA 2016 Convention & Expo, April 13-16, in New Orleans. Page 94.

The ICCFA is offering an optional tour of Lakelawn Metairie Cemetery and St. Louis Cemetery No. 1. Page 94.


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Van Beck’s new book addresses reverence for the dead

When someone says, “Just cremate me after I’m dead,” the family often has

no clue what to do for a memorial service or final disposition of the remains. The new book, “Hail and Farewell: Cremation Ceremonies, Templates and Tips,” will help families with memorial service guidance and creative ideas.

The book by Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death, and Susan Fraser, the founder and CEO of In The Light Urns, covers everything related to creating a meaningful memorial service with cremated remains:

• Why it’s important to hold some sort of goodbye ceremony.

• A description of the cremation process, so families know what to expect.

• Examples of different ways to scatter ashes – more than you’d think.

• Stories of creative memorial services in different settings to spark ideas.

• Templates to easily create meaningful memorial services.

• Sample scripts from actual memorial services to provide inspiration.

• Suggested readings, music and online resources for a wealth of meaningful materials to weave into a service.

The book’s title refers to the last line of an ancient elegiac poem written by the Roman poet Gaius Valerius Catullus approximately 2,000 years ago. He sadly addresses his

brother’s cremated remains, “… with brotherly weeping. And forever, brother, hail and farewell.”

“The only difference between a memorial service and a funeral is the presence of a body,” said Rubin. “Cremation offers increased flexibility and a range of creative options for a memorable send-off. The best time to learn about funeral planning issues is now, before there’s a death.”

“Hail and Farewell encourages people to take the time to consider how they could memorialize their own lives, and to form a plan now,” said Fraser. r

After four decades of study and

writing, Todd W. Van Beck has published his new book, “Reverence for the Dead: The Unavoidable Link.”

Van Beck has traveled the globe in the pursuit of helping those who deal with the reality of death, including clergy, hospice, funeral professionals and bereaved families.

This book addresses in detail the ethical standards of caring for the dead and the ethical consequences of not doing so.

Primary to this work is the development and articulation of a new ethical idea called the ethic of reverence for the dead. The text walks the reader through important subjects such as defining morality and reverence.

In a step-by-step format, the author builds the ethic of reverence for the dead by taking what he calls the ethical journey.

An assessment of the current state of the ethic is discussed, and the ethic is held up to stringent ethical criterion, including human nature, consequences of the act, universal convictions and moral feelings and religious heritage as ethical/moral guides.

This book presents a multidisciplinary approach to a careful analysis of the ethic of reverence for the dead and what the presence or absence of this ethic means to life. Chapters include, “Living the Ethic of Rever-ence for the Dead,” “The Psychology of the Ethic of Reverence for the Dead,” “Explor-ation of the Numinous,” “The Practical Model of the Ethic” and “Ethical Inventory of the Meaning of Reverence for the Dead.” r

MORE FROM THIS AUTHOR➤Van Beck will speak at the ICCFA 2016 Convention & Expo, April 13-16, in New Orleans. Page 102.➤His article, “The keys to service: Trust,” is on page 68.

‘Hail and Farewell’ gives guidance to cremation familiesMORE FROM THIS AUTHOR➤Rubin’s article, “Questions people ask about death—and death care” is on page 58.


Update Send in news about your cemetery, funeral home, crematory or association to [email protected]. If you publish a newsletter, please email a copy to [email protected] or mail to: Susan Loving, ICCFA, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164.

n The Casket & Funeral sup-ply assoCiation oF ameriCa, Lake Bluff, Illinois, recently announced its 2015-16 Board of Directors and of-ficers. President is Peter Galletly, executive vice president, secretary and treasurer of Tiedemann-Bevs Industries, Richmond, Indiana. Other officers are Vice President Gerald “Jerry” Burchett, PPG Industries, Pittsburgh, Penn-sylvania; Treasurer Rodney Robinson, Southern Craft Manufacturing, Loretto, Tennessee; and Immediate Past President Tina Houck, Schuylkill Haven Casket Co., Schuylkill Haven, Pennsyl-vania.

Newly-elected directors serving three-year terms are: Pat Duckers, Artco Casket Co., Lenexa, Kansas; Justin Thacker, Thacker Casket Manufacturing, Clinton, Maryland;

and Dan Sauder, Sauder Funeral Products, Archbold, Ohio. Scott Jones Jr., Service Casket Co., Columbus, Georgia, was elected to fill an unexpired one-year term as a direc-tor. They join returning directors Steven Gadaleta, NorthStar Industries, Batesville, Indiana; Terrill Vieth, Geneva Manufactur-ing Corp., Geneva, Indiana; Jeanette Hiem-stra, Keith M. Merrick Co., Sibley, Iowa; Bill Jones, Aurora Casket Co., Aurora, Indiana; and Jason Mims, Cherokee Casket Co., Grif-fin, Georgia.n sChoeDinger Funeral anD Cremation serivCe, Columbus, Ohio, recently was honored in the Conway Cen-ter for Family Business 17th annual Fam-ily Business awards program. Schoedinger was recognized as Columbus’ oldest family business, celebrating its 160th year. Founded in 1855 by Philip Schoedinger, a German cabinetmaker, today sixth-generation family members Michael, Randy and Kevin run the

company. “It is an honor to serve families from our 14 neighborhood chapels,” said company President Michael Schoedinger. “We have been creating healing experiences for 160 years and look forward to serving future generations of our community.”n The latin ameriCan assoCia-tion oF Cemeteries anD Funeral serviCes (alpar) recently elected its board for 2015-17. Teresa Saavedra, general manager of Parque de las Memorials, Bolivia, was re-elected president. Other officers are Vice President Juan Pablo Donetch, executive vice president of Parque del Recuerdo, Chile; and Secretary Leticia Samperio, general manager of Previ-sora Plenitud, Mexico. Board members are Fernando Valle Cantón, Sierras de Paz S.A., Nicaragua; Mario Marcos, Grupo Jardin del Pilar S.A., Argentina; Eleonora Ayala, Prever S.A., Colombia; and Carlos Roberto Belloso Castro, Parques y Jardines de Cuscatlán S.A., El Salvador. Alternates are Jaime Ceballos, La Ofrenda S.A., Colombia; Luis Eduardo Char-tuni, Grupo Recordar, Colombia; José Elías Flores Jr., Grupo Cortel, Brazil; Andrés Uribe Aristizábal, Funeral International Group S.A.S., Colombia; Gerardo Mora, Coopserfun, Colombia; Andrés Aguilar, Señoriales Cor-poración de Servicio, Guatemala; and Maria Marti- nelli, Rogelio Martinelli S.A., Uruguay. Honorary members are Jorge Luis Tamayo Gaviria, Asociado Honorario, Colombia; Jaime Humberto Oquendo, Grupo Plenitud, Colombia; and Carlos Durana, Colombia.n BalDwin Brothers Funeral anD Cremation soCiety has added

Thirteen past presidents of the Casket & Funeral Supply Association of America, spanning 25 years, gather for a photo during the association’s fall conference and trade show, during which the association celebrated its 102nd anniversary.

From left, CEO Randy Schoedinger; President Michael Schoedinger, CFuE, CCrE; Chairman Emeritus David Schoedinger; Vice President Kevin Schoedinger; and Executive Director Dick Emens, Conway Family Business Center, which honored Schoedinger Funeral and Cremation Service.

SaavedraGalletly


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a location in ormond Beach and now has nine locations throughout Florida. The Ormond Beach location is in a strip plaza, as are some of the company’s other facilities.n Carmon Community Funeral homes, Windsor, Connecticut, joined with the hispanic-american veterans of

Connecticut inc. and american legion post #59 in sponsoring a wreaths across america wreath-laying ceremony. The December 12 ceremony was at Windsor Veterans Memorial Cemetery. The cer-emony included a color guard, readings by members of the local clergy and veterans, followed by the laying of wreaths.n Carriage serviCes inC., Hous-ton, Texas, has acquired Bright Funeral home & Cremation Center, wake Forest, Carolina. The firm was established in 1964 by Betty Bright. She and sons Randy and Tommy serve more than 320 families per year and will continue at the business. Bob Prindiville will assume managing partner responsibilities. Carriage operatess 167 funeral homes in 27 states and 32 cemeter-ies in 11 states.n The ConneCtiCut Funeral DireCtors assoCiation invited the public to join them on their 10th annual operation elF Christmas drive. Children’s toys; gift cards for grocery stores, home supply stores, gas stations and pharmacies; and checks were collected for Operation ELF, which assists the families of Connecticut National Guard soldiers and airmen who are deployed during the holi-days, and provides a wide range of support to military families throughout the year.

n FounDation part-ners group, Orlando, Florida, has promoted Justin Baxley to the newly cre-ated positon of senior vice president of business devel-opment. He will be respon-sible for implementing FPG’s acquisition strategy. “Our

acquisition by Access Holdings earlier this year provided FPG with the capital necessary to fund an aggressive acquisitions campaign,” said company President and CEO Brad Rex. “Creating a new position focused solely on acquisitions and placing Justin in this role will help us accelerate these acquisitions.”

Baxley has been with Foundation Partners Group for more than three years, since his family’s firms, Hiers-Baxley Funeral Services, joined FPG in 2012. Most recently, he held the position of senior vice president, chief cus-tomer officer, with FPG. A second-generation funeral director, Baxley received his associate’s degree in mortuary science from St. Peters-burg College and bachelor’s degree in business management from Saint Leo University. Prior to joining Foundation Partners Group, Baxley was president of Hiers-Baxley Funeral Ser-vices and Highland Memorial Park. He is a past-member of the Florida Board of Funeral, Cemetery and Consumer Services and a member of the board’s Probable Cause Panel.

n Cole imperi, owner and creative director at Doth and teaching faculty for ICCFA’s Cremation Arranger Certification program, is featured in the documentary “mortal.” Doth is a strategic branding and marketing company that specializes in serving compa-nies within the death-care profession. Imperi is featured in the documentary as a death-care professional and expert on generational views on death and dying.

“Mortal” is a feature-length documentary

produced by Working Pictures and directed by Bobby Sheehan. It is currently in post-production with an anticipated release date in the next few months.

In addition to the interview with Imperi, the firm features interviews with a wide range of other experts and individuals from around the world, from Tibetan monks and survivors of war, to expectant parents and elderly hospice patients.

Imperi brings her perspective to the film through her work with the death-care profes-sion, as well as her expertise in grief and generational dynamics.

“My goal is to change the way we ap-proach death and dying in the United States. My hope is that my involvement in this project will open the door for others in death-care to join this important conversa-tion,” said Imperi. “This discussion would absolutely be incomplete without the input from funeral directors and other death-care

professionals who are the final caretakers for nearly everyone in this country. We want our funeral directors and death-care profes-sionals engaging with the public, and this documentary is a wonderful tool to help start that conversation.”

A preview of “Mortal” via the trailer is available now on the film’s Facebook page. Those in death-care especially are encouraged to share the trailer and join the discussion.

More information can be found at facebook.com/livemortal and on Imperi’s website, hellocole.com and doth.co. r

Cole Imperi being interviewed for the documentary “Mortal.”

Baxley

The funeral service class of 2016 at Mercer County Community College, Trenton New Jersey, recently elected class officers. They are, standing, Vice President Ashley Power and Treasurer Christopher Hassan. Seat-ed are President AhKeem Towles and Secretary Samantha Tripet.


U P D A T E

n ray Frew, CCFe, president and Ceo of green hills memorial park, Rancho Palos Verde, California, was recently honored for contributions to veterans by the Redondo Beach Veterans Memorial Task Force, working in conjunction with

the city of Redondo Beach. Congresswoman Janice Hahn participated in the event and presented Frew with a Congressional “Certificate of Special Recognition” for his “outstanding and invaluable service to veterans.”

Green Hills holds one of the largest Memorial Day observances in the country, which attracts thousands of people. A Vietnam veteran, Frew has worked to bring together groups to help veterans. In 2011, he learned of a program at the University of Southern California studying veterans’ social and spychological issues. The program’s graduates had no place to practice and no patient base. Because of his involvement with the YMCA, he knew the organization would provide facilities for counseling but lacked qualified counselors. Frew introduced the two organizations to each other and counseling to veterans and their families is now provided at a YMCA facility.

Frew is a life member of Chapter 53, Viet-nam Veterans of America and of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, Carson Post 10166; and is a member of the American Legion.n pierCe mortuary Colleges, Broadview, Illinois, has announced the merger of worsham College of mortuary science, wheeling, illinois, into pierce. Other Pierce Mortuary colleges are Dallas Institute of Funeral Service, Dallas, Texas, Mid-America College of Funeral Service, Jeffersonville, Indiana, and Gupton-Jones College of Funeral Service, Decatur, Geor-gia.

Worsham, founded in 1911, is a private institution offering an associate’s degree

and is owned and operated by President Karl Kann and Vice President Stephanie Kann. Both will retain those positions upon completion of the merger. “The Wilbert Group and PMC will be perfect long-term stewards of Worsham College,” said Karl Kann.

Members of The Wilbert Group include Wilbert Funeral Services Inc., Wilbert Memorials, Wilbert Cemetery Construc-tion, Pierce Chemicals, Pierce Mortuary Colleges, Signet Supply and SI Precast.n prospeCt hill Cemetery & Cremation garDens, York, Penn-sylvania, gave away Christmas trees to veterans. The trees were made availalbe at the cemetery entrance. Non-veterans

interested in a tree or greens were asked to make a donation to Mr. Sandy’s Homeless Veterans Center.n uCla has received a permit from the city of los angeles to use bio-cremation with its donated body program. The alkaline hydrolysis process, which uses water and potassium hydroxide, is used for disposition of bodies donated to the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. The university tested the process for three years.n west laurel hill Cemetery, Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania, recently held a murder mystery dinner and an number of other events, including benefits for local organizations. For the mystery dinner, the cemetery conservatory was transformed into

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Frew

Ray Frew is recognized on Veterans Day for his work on behalf of veterans.


U P D A T Ea 1920s speakeasy. A cocktail hour, light fare and a musical performance of period tunes by a jazz quartet accompanied the show. Other recent events included a networking event in partnership with the Independence Business Alliance; the Run4UrLife 3K Fun Run benefit-ting MANNA; Mystic Night, benefitting The Belmont Hills Library; “Tales of Misfourtune,” nighttime tour and storytelling; and hand-made holiday, “Gifts from the Hive.” n pittsBurgh institute oF mor-tuary sCienCe, Pittsburgh, Pennsylva-

nia, recently presented two scholarships. The Fred Donatelli Scholarship was awarded to Kelsey Haskins, Imperial, Pennsylvania, for writing a paper entitled “Cremation Campaign.” Haskins is a graduate of PIMS’ diploma program and is concluding her studies at PIMS in the associate degree program. Donatelli, owner of Pittsburgh Cremation Service and Donatelli Memori-als, established the scholarship for a student who wishes to continue their education and earn the associate in specialized business

degree in funeral service management. Also, John Davis, of North Wales, Pennsylva-nia, who will be graduating January 22, was awarded the PIMS/ABFSE scholarship. While funding is provided by PIMS, the recipient is selected by the American Board of Funeral Service Education Scholarship Committee.

The Pittsburgh Institute has the largest scholarship program of any funeral service program in the country.n The international orDer oF the golDen rule FounDation is accepting applications for its awards of excellence scholarship program through February 29. The OGR Foundation will award two scholarships, one for $3,500 and another for $2,000. To be eligible, applicants must be currently enrolled in a mortuary science degree program at an accredited mor-tuary school, be scheduled to graduate during 2016, have a cumulative GPA of 3.0 or higher, and commit to working for an independently owned funeral home. Applications can be found at www.ogr.org.foundation. r

PIMS Dean Dr. Joseph Marsa-glia, left, presents a schol-arship check to John Davis.

Kelsey Haskins receives a schol-arship check from Dr. Joe Mar-saglia of PIMS.

n olD City Cemetery, Lynchburg, Virginia, hosted a gathering by area epis-copal clergy to celebrate the Feast Day of st. Francis of assisi. Attendees brought animals in pet carriers or on a leash, or simply brought a photo of their pet for the blessing by clergy. Donations in the form of cat or dog food or money were requested for the Lynchburg Humane Society, which had animals on-site available for adoption.

PHOTOS By DON DOEBLER


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Start your search atwww.iccfasupplylink.com


I C C FA N E W S

Go for the gold! Make your sales faster, your profits higher and your pitch stronger at the ICCFA Wide

World of Sales Conference, January 13-15, at the Monte Carlo Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Wide World of Sales is the only conference specifically devoted to sales and marketing professionals in the end-of-life industry.

You could be selling preneed or at-need, insurance or urns, memorial services or cremation, memorial jewelry or hospitality options. Regardless of the product or service, you need to know the most up-to-date and effective selling techniques in order to make all of your sales a winner.

The Wide World of Sales Conference is known for providing a curriculum designed to expand your knowledge of sales topics and techniques.

Our keynoters share universal best practices that apply to sales in any industry. This year, the keynoters are:• Weldon Long. He will present his

talk on the “Power of Consistency,” where you learn to get the MIND

right, get the SALES right and get the IMPLEMENTATION right.

• “Antarctic Mike” Pierce. He will talk about applying his marathon experience to sales by increasing mental strength and developing sound habits of discipline.

Our breakout sessions, however, are known for providing “how-tos” specifically geared toward salespeople in the funeral/cemetery profession. The list of presentations this year includes:

• “Dealing with the Four F.E.A.R. Motivations,” Dale Amundsen

• “21st Century Selling: Understanding the Right Sales Approach for Today’s Buying Behavior,” Ed Albertson

• “Flowchart for Family Service,” Christine Toson Hentges, CCE

• “Killer Ways to Dominate Social Media,” Ryan Thogmartin

• “First Who, Then What: Identifying and Developing Top Performers,” Mel Payne

Your registration includes access to all educational sessions; the welcome reception and fireside chat with Gary O’Sullivan, CCFE; breakfast and lunch on Thursday and coffee breaks throughout; and the always popular sales binder containing tips and additional support material on topics covered by each speaker that you can begin implementing as soon as you get back to your office.

Time is running out to take advantage of this conference! Walk-ins are welcome, but we strongly suggest that you register now at www.iccfa.com/wws. q

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Thank you to our sponsors

Register for the 2016 Sales Olympics before it’s too late!Wide World of SaleS • January 14-16, 2016 • las vegas, nevada

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I C C FA N E W S


Cremation certification programs scheduled for 2016New Cremation Certification programs have been

announced for 2016. The ICCFA is pleased to offer six opportunities for you to earn your Crematory Operator

and Cremation Arranger certifications. The ICCFA is one of two industry associations specifically

identified in several state laws as approved cremation training providers.

The Crematory Arranger certification, exclusively offered by the ICCFA, is a six-hour intensive training is designed to give you new tools to create better cremation arrangements. Learn the history of cremation, pertinent laws and regulations, how to identify your customer base, how demographics should impact your marketing and arrangement process and how people’s perception of price affects their behavior. All of this information is presented with one singular focus—to help you create a better arrangement for each family you serve.

The ICCFA Crematory Operator Certification program is presented in partnership with Crematory Manufacturing & Service Inc. The extensive training curriculum includes:• professional & incinerator terminology• principles of combustion• incinerator criteria and design• basics of operating equipment• maintenance and troubleshooting• forms and record keeping• handling and exposure control

Attendees will receive a comprehen sive Operations Manual covering all aspects of crematory operations and mainte nance. You must pass an open-book, take-home test to receive your certification. For more information and to register for classes, visit www.iccfa.com/cremation. q

Music licenses through the ICCFA are $263 per location by January 31, 2016, ($276 thereafter). You may add on a

webcasting license for $48 per location.Music licensing is the law, and failure to

obtain a license where one is required can be costly: Copyright law provides for damages similar to fines of up to $30,000 for each song that is infringed. If your company, regardless of size, hosts performances of copyrighted music—whether the music is performed live, played from recordings or played online—music copyright owners say you are legally required to pay an annual licensing fee.

The ICCFA is pleased to offer a low rate on music licenses that are a direct pass-through of the combined annual fees from ASCAP, BMI and SESAC. Licensing directly with the agencies this year would cost nearly $600 per property.

A webcasting license allows for broadcasting of services via the internet throughout the world. You must have a music license before you

purchase a webcasting license.To purchase a music and webcasting license, visit

www.iccfa.com/music. If you’re looking to register more than four properties, completion of a paper form is required and can be downloaded from our website. q

2016 cremation training Schedule

February 24-25, 2016

Operator: Feb. 24 Arranger: Feb. 25 Mid-America College of Funeral Services • Jefferson, IN

April 19-20, 2016

Operator: April 19 Arranger: April 20 Gupton-Jones College of Funeral Services • Decatur, GA

May 24-25, 2016

Operator: May 24 Arranger: May 25 Dallas Institute of Funeral Service • Dallas, TX

Register at www.iccfa.com/cremation

HURRY: 2016 music license prices increase February 1

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I C C FA N E W S

Introducing the ICCFA Business Insurance ProgramOn a daily basis, you are there to care

for families during a difficult time. As a business owner, you also have to

worry about day-to-day operations. The ICCFA Business Insurance Program protects your business so that you can focus on compassion, not coverage.

As an ICCFA member, you have access to exclusive business insurance solutions that have been tailored to the needs and exposures of the funeral industry. In partnership with Arthur J. Gallagher & Co., you will benefit from competitive pricing, superior customer service and a sales team dedicated to ICCFA members.

Business insurance p roducts include:• Property insurance: Covers against damage to property such

as fire, windstorms, hail, lightning, theft or vandalism. • General liability: Covers against a range of third-party

claims, such as personal injury or property damage caused by you or an employee.

• Commercial auto: Similar to personal vehicle insurance, commercial auto protects against claims such as collision, comprehensive, medical payments, uninsured motorists and other liability.

• Workers compensation: Provides coverage in the case of an employee being injured while at work.• Funeral directors professional: Coverage is recommended for all practicing funeral directors. This coverage protects you against any claims made by loved ones for unethical or unprofessional conduct at the funeral as well as errors and omissions relating to cremation or disposition of the body.• Cyber liability (aka data breach coverage): Offers protection to the business in the case of a data breach in which the firm’s customers’

personal information is exposed or stolen. This can also provide coverage for stolen electronic devices such as laptops, tablets and cellular phones.

We are committed to serving the needs of ICCFA members and bringing quality customer care. Call or email today to join the ICCFA Business Insurance Program:

Kaitlin RadkeICCFA Business Insurance [email protected] q

New ICCFA member benefit: Budget truck rental discount

Make your budget go further by getting a great deal on a great truck from Budget. As an ICCFA member, you’ll get an amazing deal every time you rent—up to 25 percent

off Budget’s great rates. To book your car, visit Budget Truck Rental or call, toll free, 1.800.527.0700 and mention the ICCFA Budget Discount number (BCD): V052518 to receive your discount. Make the smart choice, rent Budget and start saving today!

ICCFA ANNUAL CONVENTION & EXPO

Annual Meeting of MembersThursday, April 14 B 9:15 to 10 a.m. B New Orleans, Louisiana

All ICCFA members are encouraged to attend the association’s Annual Meeting of

Members. Vote for members to represent you on the Board of Directors, listen to officer

reports on the state of ICCFA and fully engage in the running of your association.

Kaitlin Radke, ICCFA business insurance specialist.


RegularEternal Life Cremation ServiceMt. Pleasant, PennsylvaniaJoshua Tree Memorial ParkJoshua Tree, CaliforniaJoshua One Nine LLCCape Girardeau, MissiouriMartin Oaks Cemetery CrematoryLewisville, TexasAlliance Funeral HomeFlorence, KentuckyFippinger Funeral HomeAledo, IllinoisR. Mason Bros. Memorial ChapelEvansville, IndianaRoney Funeral HomeNorth Grafton, MassachusettsThibault-Neun Funeral HomeFranklin, New Hampshire

Professional/SupplierPeaceful Memories by Memories Unlimited Inc.Olympia, WashingtonTanya MarshWinston-Salem, North CarolinaCemetery Preservation Supply LLC Dallas, TexasProfessional Funeral Alliance Tax &Accounting ProfessionalsSpringfield, IllinoisPearl’s PremiumFresh Meadows, New YorkMortuary Equipment Logistics,Round Rock, Texas

Professional: Pet Loss Services Animal Welfare League of SouthAustralia Inc.Wingfield, Australia Caring Pet Cremation Services LLCAylett, Virginia r

FoR InFoRmAtIon About the ICCFA And membeRshIp: • Go to www.iccfa.com/membership to download a benefits brochure and an application form.• Call 1.800.645.7700 to have membership information faxed or mailed to you.

membeRshIp ApplICAtIonsAdmission to ICCFA membership normally requires a majority vote of those present and voting at any meeting of the executive commit-tee. The names of all applicants must be published in this magazine. ICCFA members objecting to an application must do so in writing to the ICCFA executive director within 45 days of publication. In the event of an objection, the executive committee will conduct an inquiry. If an applicant is rejected, they will be granted an appeal upon written request. The decision of the Board of Directors shall be final.

Providing exceptional education, networking and legislative guidance and support to progressive cemetery, funeral and cremation

professionals worldwide

New Members

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Wednesday, April 134-7 p.m.Grand Opening Reception (open bar and heavy hors d’oeurvres)

Thursday, April 14noon-5 p.m.Lunch at the Expo & IMSA happy hour

Friday, April 1510:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.Lunch at the Expo The ICCFA convention features free food

and beverage service during Expo hours, scheduled not to conflict with speakers.

bringing our profession together

ICCFA ANNUAL CONVENTION & EXPONEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA, APRIL 13-16, 2016

I C C FA 2 0 1 6 C O n v e n t I O n & e x p O I n n e w O r l e A n s

Expo Grand Opening Celebration Wednesday, April 13, 3:30 p.m.Join us near the main entrance of the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center for a proper New Orleans Second Line (a walking/marching parade) all the way to the ICCFA expo hall as dignitaries declare the 2016 Expo officially open. Handkerchiefs, parasols and other fun trinkets will be provided to wave in the air as you “pass a good time.”

Special Event

Expo hours



The secretKen Blanchard,author, “The One Minute Manager”The secret of great leaders is one that might baffle many.

But basically, a great leader serves his/her followers. Through this program, you will discover and explore the five fundamental ways a manager leads through service:

see the future engage and develop others reinvent continuously value results and relationships and embody values.In understanding these simple

principles, you will benefit yourself, your organization and those who look to you for guidance.

Blanchard’s impact as an author is far-reaching. His iconic 1982 classic, “The One Minute Manager,” co-authored with Spencer Johnson, has sold more than 13 million copies and remains on best-seller lists today. In the past three decades, he has authored or co-authored 60 books with combined sales of more than 21 million copies. His groundbreaking works—including “Raving Fans,” “The Secret” and “Leading at a Higher Level,” to name just a few—have been translated into more than 42 languages. In 2005, Blanchard was inducted into Amazon’s Hall of Fame as one of the top 25 best-selling authors of all time.Book sale & signing in the expo hall

Health, wealth & successJeannine English, president, AARPAARP believes that there are three tenets for successfully growing older: health, wealth

and self. These values can empower people to live independently and take control of their lives, including their end-of-life decisions.

For health, they say we need to begin to focus on preventing disease and improving well-being instead of just treating ailments. We need to help people feel empowered to become active partners in their health care instead of being dependent patients.

Wealth means personally having financial resilience. Also, AARP wishes to stress that an active, engaged, employed older population has the potential to be more of an economic boom than a social challenge—that the growing number of older people is not a drain on society, but a key driver of economic growth, innovation and new value creation.

For self, we must change the conversation from aging as decline to aging as continuous growth and opportunities for personal fulfillment. We must help people go from feeling powerless to having a deep sense of purpose and positive self-image. This also includes preplanning their final arrangements.

English will discuss these ideas and tie them in with how they apply—and what AARP advocates—in regards to preneed planning, palliative care, hospice and celebration of life.

Recipe for successJohn Best, chef, restaurateur & entrepreneurIt’s been 10 years since Hurricane Katrina devastated a 200-square-mile swath of the Gulf Coast, including one of America’s cultural gems, New Orleans. The

city has always been one of the most thrilling culinary epicenters in America (maybe even the world), but it took that serious storm to get much of the rest of the country to stop taking it for granted—thanks in part to the tireless rebuilding efforts of the community, including chef John Besh.

Over the last decade, Besh has served as an unofficial culinary ambassador for the Crescent City, opening a diverse group of restaurants representing all facets of its gastronomic identity, publishing cookbooks that double as love letters to Louisiana and starting major charitable endeavors to preserve and support the foodways of the Louisiana bayou.

In this session, Besh will discuss his journey from Louisiana native son to U.S. Marine to chef and entrepreneur. He’ll share what he thinks are some keys to success in the challenging and ruthless world of restaurateurs.

Besh’s cachet has risen over the past 10 years, just as New Orleans has during its recovery from Katrina. He says both are a direct reflection of the resiliency of the region’s people, and that passion is required of business leaders in order to survive and thrive in today’s marketplace.

He will also discuss how he has cultivated talent in his organization and how you can, as well. Besh says that he is lucky to be surrounded by great people who live and breathe the mission of his brand, but it didn’t just happen by chance.

Ryan Estis, Fortune 500 business & communication advisorThe world of work is changing. In this session, Ryan Estis will explore the ongoing evolution in how we connect, communicate and collaborate to accomplish meaningful work. Global, economic, generational and technological changes have left us with new expectations about how work should happen. As a result, the traditional approach to workplace productivity and performance

isn’t working. This keynote presentation examines how progressive companies are staying ahead of the competition and responding to these changes by making their business more social. Estis prepares participants to leverage the social revolution and get connected to compete in the new world of work.

By the end of this session, you will:Understand the implications of new media

and the benefits of embracing social businessLearn trends and forecasts about the global

workforce and the future of workUnderstand the impact of social technology

on business relationshipsFind out how to adapt and embrace social

business in a way that benefits the bottom lineGet to know millennials, today’s digital

natives and the next generation of leaders.

The communication revolution: Driving growth through social business

General Session Keynote Speakers


ICCFA Annual Meeting of MembersThursday, April 14, 8-9:30 a.m. All ICCFA members are encouraged to attend the association’s Annual Meeting of Members. Vote for members to represent you on the Board of Directors, listen to officer reports on the state of the ICCFA and fully engage in the running of your association.

For more details and the latest updates about the convention, go to iccfaconvention.com


ICCFA Educational Foundation Reception (requires a ticket)Thursday, April 14, 6-7 p.m. Join us for a reception to honor donors and scholarship recipients, and to present the ICCFA Educational Foundation Lasting Impact Award to someone who has significantly contributed to advancing education within our profession. Tickets: $50. Refreshments and hors d’oeuvres will be served. All proceeds will benefit the Educational Foundation, a tax-exempt 501(c)(3) charity that supports the association’s educational programs.

Closing Reception & DinnerSaturday, April 16, reception 7-8 p.m.; dinner 8-11 p.m. Join us for an open bar before the Closing Dinner, where we close the convention with dinner and entertainment. The ICCFA presidential transfer from Darin Drabing to Michael Uselton, CCFE, will take place during this event, as will the exchange of gifts with our fellow international groups. Tickets are included with full attendee and spouse/guest registrations. All others may purchase a ticket on the registration form. A jazz ensemble will serenade attendees. Dancing is encouraged.

Special Events

SESSiOn rEcOrdinGSStop by the ICCFA Registration Desk to order recordings of 2016 convention breakout sessions.

cOnTinuinG EducaTiOnEarn up to 15.5 CE credits. Pick up a form at the ICCFA Registration Desk.

ICCFA Prayer Breakfast: “What to say when a terrorist asks if you’re a Christian” (tickets limited)Friday, April 15, 7:30-8:30 a.m. Come join us for breakfast and fellowship at this year’s Prayer Breakfast, led by Paul Elvig and Alan Creedy. This year’s Prayer Breakfast is compli-mentary courtesy of generous sponsorships. It is open to the first 60 individuals who show up to the breakfast—first-come, first-served. Sorry, spouses/guests may not attend.

ICCFA Memorial ServiceFriday, April 15, 8:30-8:40 a.m. Tribute and memorialization are at the heart of what we do. Join us as we remember colleagues and loved ones of ICCFA members who have passed away this past year. If you would like to remember a loved one who has died, please send us a profile and photos for inclusion in the service. Instructions and a PDF form can be found at www.iccfa.com/membership. The deadline for submission is February 29.

KIP Awards PresentationFriday, April 15, 8:50-9 a.m. Winners of 2015 KIP (Keeping It Personal)

Awards will be honored during a ceremony on the general session stage.

The KIP Awards recognize the best in personalization. The awards were created by ICCFA’s Personalization Committee to recognize outstanding examples of personalization of services or products in the death-care profession.

Educational Founda-tion Chairman Jim Price, CCFE, CCrE, with Dave Wharmby, CCE, last year’s Lasting Impact Award recipient.

First-Timers receptionThursday, April 14, 5-6 p.m. Will this be your first time attending the ICCFA Annual Convention & Exposition? Come meet other members who are also new to the convention, as well as ICCFA volunteers and leaders at this special reception dedicated to welcoming you.Admission to the reception is included with every full registration.

State Association Leadership Luncheon (ticket required)Saturday, April 16, 1-2:30 p.m.Elected leaders, staff and “rising stars” from state and regional associations are invited to gather at this roundtable luncheon to network and share the issues affecting their members. A ticket is required and can be purchased on your registration form. Tickets: $60. Last year’s First-Timers’ Reception.

updaTES On SOcial MEdiaGet the lates convention information & announcements by following the ICCFA on social media: facebook.com/iccfacafe; @iccfa

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Government & Legal PanelModerated by Irwin W. Shipper, CCESaturday, April 16, 9 a.m.Join ICCFA Government & Legal Affairs Committee Chairman Shipper and his panel of legal and regulatory specialists for this session. Panelists will provide the latest updates on changing regulations and recommend strategies to make compliance work for you.

Hospice: Developing a relationship that mattersDoug Wagemann, MBA, CCFEJoin Wagemann to learn the latest facts and trends in hospice care in the United States. He will discuss various ways to develop valuable relationships with hospice decision-makers and share successful strategies that are currently working with funeral service businesses/organizations that are enhancing both organizations and the services provided to families.

Wagemann, of Wagemann Holdings Inc., has been associated with funeral service for over 40 years. During this time, he has become involved with hospices on the local, state, national and international level, including hospice work in Russia, Italy, Canada and India,

and has served on numerous hospice boards. He also has served on the board of the National Hospice Foundation (NHF) and is a frequent speaker discussing the statistics, facts and trends of hospice services throughout the United States.

Death embraced: New Orleans tombs and burial customs Behind the scenes accounts of decay, love & traditionMary LaCosteLaCoste will share what she learned through her genealogical and historical research into the burial customs of New Orleans, all with a bit of subtle humor and from her unique perspective as a local tour guide and educator.

LaCoste is a native of New Orleans with a successful retirement career as a tour guide and journalist. Over the years she has served as a teacher, principal and university instructor. She spent several years in Europe and Pennsylvania and returned home with a renewed

appreciation of the unique history and customs of her city. Fascinated by the tomb owned by her husband’s family and determined to set the record straight for visitors and her many grandchildren, she began the long process of seeking out information through personal inquiry and research sources.

Breakout Sessions pages 94-110

Funeral Home & Cemeteries Tour (ticket required)Saturday, April 16, 2-5 p.m. Conclude your educational experience with tours of a funeral home and two of the most famous cemeteries in New Or-leans. Lakelawn Metairie Cemetery is considered one of the top 10 cemeter-ies in the country due to its unique historical significance and beauty. Me-tairie Cemetery is the final resting place of numerous famous and revered people, including nine Louisiana governors, seven mayors of New Orleans and three Confederate generals. St. Louis Cemetery No. 1, opened in 1789, is the oldest cemetery in the city, with all of its burial vaults above ground. It is the final resting place of, among others, voodoo queen Marie Laveau and Ernest N. “Dutch” Morial, New Orleans’ first African- American mayor. You can purchase a ticket when you register (registration form is on page 112).

Special Event

To reserve your room at the Hilton New Orleans Riverside Hotel, go online to www.iccfaconvention.com#hotel or call 1.800.HILTONS. Room rate of $214 per night (no resort fee) is available if you book by February 29. Special room rate available April 10-17.

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Cremation statistics: Turning trends into action Mark MatthewsMatthews will give a review of the CANA cremation statistics, looking at current trends and market fluctuations. Using straightforward exercises, he will use the statistics and look into how they impact an existing business. This interactive session will identify strategies to remain profitable in today’s market.

Licensed by the state of California as a funeral director, cemetery manager and crematory manager, Matthews is a past president of the Cremation Association of North America and recently completed a term as president of the Association of California Cremationists. He is a subject matter expert for the California Department of Consumer Affairs Cemetery and Funeral Bureau and is founding president of Diocese of San Bernardino Cemetery Corp. at Our Lady Queen of Peace Cemetery.

Win/win in the arrangement conferenceMichael J. Watkins, CFSP, CCOFamily dynamics are more complex and demanding than ever, and this fact is driving change in the funeral profession. Families are looking for real guidance and real value. They are seeking consultation and direction, not just a caring hand. Whether a family is deciding on cremation or traditional burial should not matter. The service selection and what

families choose is in your control and your professional obligation is to guide them in the right direction.Watkins will explore the fundamental communication roadblocks funeral and cemetery professionals

face with their families as they balance their roles as consultant and caregiver. In addition, he will clarify the real value proposition that will help take end-of-life services to the next generation.

Watkins is vice president of operations and compliance, The Signature Group, Houston, Texas. He has been involved in various capacities in both public and private funeral and cemetery organizations during his more than 32 years in the industry. Prior to joining The Signature Group, Watkins served as the senior vice president of operations for the National Funeral Directors Association, where he oversaw the accounting, information technology, human resources and cremation services departments.

Cremation headaches: How to handle the day-to-day issues Poul Lemasters, Esq.This is the seminar that takes a look at the REAL headaches facing cremation, the ones every cremation provider faces. What are these day-to-day issues? Consider just a few: missing children; out-of-town signatures; using a notary; electronic signatures; family conflicts; no next-of-kin. Unfortunately the worst-case stories, including lost cremated remains, wrongful cremations and million-dollar lawsuits, aren’t going away, but let’s

tackle the everyday issues and get some solutions that we can all use.Lemasters is the ICCFA cremation programs coordinator and also serves as a special counsel to the ICCFA on cremation legal issues. He is an attorney and principal of Lemasters Consulting. Lemasters holds both funeral director and embalmer licenses in Ohio and West Virginia.

What to do with unclaimed remains Dr. David R. PenepentA growing problem in the funeral industry today is the problem that funeral directors have with clients who fail to claim their loved one’s cremated remains after the cremation process has been concluded. This presentation will explore some of the reasons why some people fail to claim their loved one’s cremated remains, and provide some practical ways to deal with the issue.Penepent is the CEO of and a lecturer for Advanced Funeral Service Education Programs, a professional lecturing company accredited in five states, and lectures to more than 500 funeral directors annually. He was the manager of the Herson Funeral Home for nine years and is a New York licensed funeral director and embalmer.

The memorial idea Jason Ryan EnglerOne of the most important aspects of the history of cremation in the United States is a period cremation

historian Engler identifies as the memorialization era. During this time, permanent memorialization of cremated remains came into its own. Some of the most beautiful urn gardens and columbaria were constructed to inurn bronze memorial urns.

This presentation by CANA historian Engler will include a brief history of cremation, then memorialization, from the earliest cremation memorials through the memorialization era and into the present day. Attendees will learn the history of cremation memorialization and, most important, will learn why this historic rite is so important for families choosing cremation in the present day. Attendees will walk away with the knowledge and understanding of their important role, duty and sacred trust that is important for ensuring the past, present and future of the death-care profession.

Engler is a licensed funeral director, cremation specialist, consultant and historian, certified celebrant, CANA Certified Crematory Operator and an ICCFA Certified Cremation Arranger. As the Cremation Association of North America’s official historian, he has the statistics and resources of the association’s past at his fingertips, and uses them to show the origin and growth of cremation in America, and the transition the rite has experienced.


LIVE!

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Vital signs: Is your funeral business healthy?Tim BridgersYour doctor or hospital relies on a few simple tests to get a pretty clear picture

of your overall health—your vital signs. The same is true for funeral homes. Based on their work with hundreds of firms across the U.S., Live Oak Bank starts with a few key metrics to gauge the health of the business. Bridgers will look at those vital signs and how they’re used to guide capital investment and lending decisions. He will also offer prescriptions that business owners can use to improve their numbers and build the value of their businesses.

Bridgers is a senior loan officer for Live Oak Bank, Wilmington, North Carolina. He joined Live Oak in 2014 with more than 10 years of business and entrepreneurial experience. He studied mechanical engineering at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and business at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington, and completed his finance degree at Liberty University, Lynchburg, Virginia. This diverse education prepared Bridgers for success in sales, marketing and management.

He is a former business owner and developer of two successful companies, so he understands the challenges business owners face. As a senior loan officer, he is dedicated to helping funeral home owners understand the importance of the financial health of their businesses.

When does a 1% increase mean a 20% decline for your trust? Managing portfolio risk in a rising interest rate environmentJames M. Cholet, CRPCAfter 35 years of declining interest rates and stable bond prices, the Federal Reserve has stated its intent to begin raising rates. What effect

might that have on your bonds, mutual funds or exchange traded funds? Attend this session, presented by veteran financial advisor Cholet, to better understand how increasing interest rates affect bond prices and what steps you can take as a fiduciary to help protect your portfolio.Cholet is vice president—wealth management at Morgan Stanley Wealth Management, Frederick, Maryland. A financial advisor for more than 30 years, he has advised clients all over the globe with their planning needs. He has hosted a local television program, “Financial Focus,” and is a former member of Toastmaster’s International.

Why bigger is better: The fastest way to grow your business Doug GoberIt’s no secret that the funeral service business is getting tough for small operators. Margins are thinner, competition is tougher and state regulatory protections are under attack. One of the best ways out of this minefield is to stop being a small operator, to grow your business to a level where the

worst of those challenges just no longer apply to you. In this presentation, Gober will share the top three or four growth strategies and examine the pros and cons of each one, sharing ways you can evaluate which ones will do the most for your operation.

Gober is owner and president of Gober Strategic Capital, Kenner, Louisiana. He began his funeral service career 36 years ago as a sales representative in the casket industry. He has earned numerous national awards from various organizations within the death-care industry. In 2012, he joined Live Oak Bank, based in Wilmington, North Carolina, serving as an industry liaison and senior loan officer, connecting those in death-care management with the opportunity for financing.

Can we really borrow business strategy from Walmart? Paul J. SeylerIt’s fair to say most independent operators want to be the opposite of Walmart—smaller, locally owned and nowhere near those razor-thin profit margins. Surprisingly, there are some strategy lessons independents can learn from the retailing giant—about leverage, facilities, collaboration and competitive advantage. This presentation looks at a few of the less well known factors in Walmart’s success and how independent firms can use them to build a better, more competitive business.

Since 1993, Paul Seyler has headed Competitive Resources Inc., New Orleans, Louisiana, a marketing firm with core strengths in research, strategy development, brand management, technology and training. Prior to forming Competitive Resources, he spent 10 years in marketing,

IT and strategic planning with firms in financial services and real estate.

Staff retention: How to keep the best and change the rest Shannon LeahyAttracting and inspiring employees is one of the most challenging parts of leadership. We want to hire the best people but often we get stuck with a pest, someone who was great in the interview but turns out to be horrible with families and staff. Once they’re hired, they’re hard to fire. So how do you attract people who love what they do, work hard and stay dedicated to making a difference in the world? The business-as-usual job posting won’t attract them. Business-as-usual interview questions won’t inspire them. You can attract the best people for your business by showing them what you’re building and asking them what they see. This helps you reveal the person behind the resume. A few simple changes during the interview process can attract the best people for your business.

Leahy is founder and “head honcho” of Raystorm Communications, Toronto, Ontario. When not acting as writer-and-trainer-in-residence down at the local funeral home, she is facilitating leadership and development workshops for the ICCFA, the Funeral Service Association of Canada and the Human Resources Association of Canada.

Management


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Top 10 things you need to know about cremation garden developmentJeff Kidwiler, CCE, CSE, & John Bolton, CCEWith the national cremation rate approaching 50 percent, more and more ICCFA members are looking to provide a permanent placement for their families when they choose cremation. In today’s climate,

more than 80 percent of those who choose cremation take the cremated remains home instead of using a cemetery to permanently memorialize their loved one. After developing over 150 garden projects across the United States over the past five years, Kidwiler and Bolton have developed a list of 10 things that anyone looking to install a cremation garden development needs to know.

Kidwiler is owner of Blackstone Memorials and Blackstone Cemetery Development, San Clemente, California. He is ICCFA University chancellor, past ICCFA president and past chairman of the ICCFA Sales & Marketing Committee. Bolton is Blackstone’s president. Bolton and Kidwiler have more than 50 years of combined experience in all facets of the profession, including cemetery management, cemetery ownership, funeral home management, supply chain management, administration, maintenance, sales, family service and garden development.

Turning a small-town cemetery into a big-time assetErin WhitakerCemeteries can be profitable businesses, but all too often they are not for the small-town cemeterian. The feeling of obligation to the community and a general misunderstanding of cemetery management frequently result in passively managed cemeteries. Simply stated, most small-town cemeterians focus on interring the dead rather than making their businesses thrive. The motivation is more to fill the need for someone to be in charge, to make sure services are

scheduled, the graves are opened and the lawn maintained than it is to generate a profit. Whitaker will share a plan for creating staffing, pricing and marketing strategies to generate a profit and turn a small-time cemetery into a big-time asset.

Whitaker is senior director, operations integration, for Foundation Partners Group, Orlando, Florida. As a third-generation funeral director, she brings a diverse and comprehensive background to her role at FPG. After undergraduate studies, she joined Eastman Kodak as a chemical engineer and project manager. After six years at Kodak, she returned to South Carolina to attend graduate school and obtain an MBA degree. While completing her degree, she began working part-time at the family’s funeral home, Whitaker Funeral Home in Newberry, South Carolina.

Challenging traditional cemetery development: You have more revenue

potential left than you thinkChris KellerCemeteries fall into predictable patterns of development, and tend to expand in ways that are

tried and true. By doing this, vast amounts of profitable space are often overlooked. Keller will show how in-fill of previously sold out areas, creating mixed use/high density spaces, can completely change a cemetery’s revenue stream, extend its sellable life and change the public’s perception of the space.

Keller is vice president, French Funerals-Cremations/Sunset Memorial Park, Albuquer-que, New Mexico. He is responsible for all new development. They are in the midst of a complete renovation of their cemetery master plan, finding millions of dollars of addition property potential when just seven years ago they thought they were nearly sold out. He sits on several industry council/study groups, and is a member of the ICCFA Board of Directors.

Cemetery Management

Improving your most valuable asset through smart technologyMike MasonOne of a cemetery’s most valuable assets is its real estate. A beautiful landscape is an essential part of a cemetery’s overall reputation. From analyzing thousands of professionally landscaped and managed commercial properties, we’ve

learned that common irrigation mistakes cause water waste, costly damage to landscape and unnecessary expense. The cost of water is skyrocketing, along with water restrictions and fines for non-compliance. Attendees will learn how smart irrigation technology can maintain or improve the health of the landscape while reducing water use and costs, minimizing landscape/hardscape damage, reducing labor for reprogramming controllers around funerals/weather/ restrictions and helping facilities avoid non-compliance fines.Mason is president and CEO of Weathermatic, Garland, Texas. He has continually been at the forefront of new industries. At Weathermatic, he is revolutionizing the green industry through cloud-based water management technology and services. Under his leadership, the 70-year-old company has transitioned from a traditional irrigation manufacturer to an industry-leading sustainable, high-tech, socially conscious water management brand.

Growing the triple bottom line: People, planet & profit

Gino MerendinoThis session will discuss creating a sustainable cemetery using best practices from gardens, arboretums and cemeteries around the world. Innovative ideas will be presented, from

solar-powered memorials to lily turf lawns that get mowed once per year. These innovations will help you and your team make your establishment a first-class sustainable cemetery.Merendino is chief gardener for Merendino Cemetery Care, Linden, New Jersey. He holds a bachelor’s degree in business management from Rutgers University and is a Rutgers Cooperative Extension master gardener. He is the architect of the Veteran Administration approved GI Bill Apprenticeship Training Program for cemetery care managers. At Merendino, he is responsible for the mowing and trimming of 2,500 acres of cemetery property weekly in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Illinois, as well as the outsourcing of one out of every 600 burials in the USA.


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Dueling funerals Todd W. Van Beck, CFuEEven if you’re not a history buff, this seminar will fascinate you. Sit back and let Van Beck, one of the best storytellers in the funeral and cemetery profession, take you on a journey into the deaths and funerals of two basically opposite personalities: Jefferson Davis, president of the Confederate States of America, and Abraham Lincoln, president of the United States of America.

The only thing these two men had in common was they were both born in Kentucky. They took very divergent paths in life that came together during the American Civil War. Jefferson Davis outlived Lincoln by almost a quarter of a century, and his death and funeral, which happened in New Orleans, tell a remarkable story of one man’s courage and journey in a world that had changed greatly since Gen. Robert E. Lee’s surrender in 1865.

Van Beck is an active amateur history-lover. He is director of graduate studies at John A. Gupton College, Nashville, Tennessee. He holds a master’s degree from Mount St. Mary’s Seminary, Cincinnati, Ohio; a bachelor’s degree from Mount Mercy University, Cedar Rapids, Iowa; an honorary doctorate from the Commonwealth Institute of Funeral Service, Houston, Texas; and a graduate diploma in mortuary arts and sciences from the New England Institute, Boston, Massachusetts.

Benefits available to your veteran families Michael NacincikNacincik, who is chief of communications and outreach support for the National Cemetery Administration, Washington, D.C., will present an overview of important information for funeral industry professionals about benefits available to their veteran clients/family members; procedures on eligibility; how to schedule a burial at a VA national cemetery; and how to request other memorial benefits from the VA. New benefits and programs such as preneed eligibility determination and the casket/urn reimbursement program and how the VA can assist with unclaimed remains will be discussed. Information about how to stay connected with the National Cemetery Administration and how to receive periodic updates on memorial benefits and programs will be provided.

Nacincik is responsible for external and internal communication activities for the National Cemetery Administration (NCA) and is the principal advisor to the under secretary for memorial affairs on public affairs matters. Prior to joining the NCA in 2000, he was with the Department of Veterans Affairs.

Protect & preserve your client’s legacy Margaret Hoyt, J.D., M.B.A.Hoyt will present unique ways legal and funeral professionals can partner to mutually enhance their combined visibility in the community of people they serve. She will explore five compelling ways to protect and preserve a client’s legacy, with a focus on the needs of the next generation.Author and co-founder of The Law Offices of Hoyt & Bryan, Oviedo, Florida, Hoyt practices in the areas of family wealth and legacy counseling, including trust and estate planning and administration, elder law, small business creation, succession and exit planning, real

estate transactions and animal law. In addition to her law degree, she holds a Florida real estate license. She serves as a certified FINRA arbitrator and is also a Florida Circuit Court mediator, concentrating in family business and estate matters.

Trauma and healing in the funeral home Dr. David Penepent, PhD, CFSP, & Thomas FullerThis lecture is designed is to teach the techniques of restoration after trauma. The step-by-step process will provide the funeral director an opportunity to learn how to create a positive memory picture. The second half of this presentation will provide suggestions on how to discharge the negative energy that handling trauma cases presents in the funeral home.David Penepent is the CEO of and a lecturer for Advanced Funeral Service Education Programs, a professional lecturing company accredited in five states, and lectures to more than 500 funeral directors annually. He was the manager of the Herson Funeral Home for nine years and is a New York licensed funeral director and embalmer.

Fuller manages the Herson Wagner Funeral Home in Ithaca, New York. He holds a master’s degree from the New School for Social Research in New York City. He spent

nearly 15 years in funeral service education, where he taught at the Simmons Institute of Funeral Service, the country’s second oldest mortuary school.

Adding pet loss services to your business Jodi Clock, CPLPThe pet industry has grown exponentially, and baby boomers are seeking out new solutions

for their pets’ end-of-life care. If you are considering pet death-care as an addition to your existing value proposition, this session will help you understand the pros and cons of entering the market as it relates to your business today.

Clock will share tips on how to enter the market on a shoestring and discuss the target market you want to attract, what you should expect from your existing staff and why it’s critical to have them on board. She will also talk about how families seeking pet services differ from the families you are accustomed to dealing with, and how you can use pet services to create a partnership with hospice.

Clock is owner of Clock Timeless Pets and co-owner of Clock Funeral Homes, Muskegon, Michigan. For more than 25 years, she has worked in the end-of-life planning business, including family and corporately owned funeral homes, advance funeral planning companies, casket manufacturers and insurance agencies. She writes and speaks about the basics of Medicaid and asset protection and is a seasoned expert in end-of-life directives. She and her son own a cremation business.

Funeral Service Management


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How to become ‘mayor’ of your town without the politicsEric FithyanFithyan, the “mayor” of Wellsburg, West Virginia, will share the story of his “political” campaign to make his historic funeral home the talk of the town. He didn’t use signs, door-to-door talks or any of the other standard campaign tactics

to win over his community. He will share his winning guide to meet and greet the community, distinguish yourself from the rest of the funeral homes in your area and influence your local media to come to you for community interest stories. Fithyan is a funeral director and owner of the Chambers and James Funeral Homes, Wellsburg, West Virginia, which he purchased in 2011. He is an active community member, serving on many boards of directors, but most of all is known as the veterans funeral director. Under his direction, his funeral homes have been featured in the YB News, The Funeral Business Advisor and in a letter of commendation from the West Virginia secretary of state. He is also a certified funeral celebrant, certified networker and an ordained minister.

Inconvenient truths about funeral & cemetery marketingDan KatzKatz will explore the seven key “inconvenient truths” that every funeral service marketer needs to acknowledge, understand and embrace in order to overcome

the barriers of audience indifference, limited financial resources, changing markets, new technologies and competitive pressures. Within the context of each of these inconvenient truths, he will share specific strategies and tactics marketers can put to use that can have a direct impact on the outcomes of their marketing efforts.Katz is president and creative director of LA ads, a Los Angeles, California-based marketing agency with more than 20 years of service to the funeral profession. Clients have included some of the most notable names in the profession, from Stewart Enterprises to SCI properties to countless independent funeral homes and cemeteries, and some of the industry’s leading suppliers. The company’s “dare to be different” philosophy is well known throughout the industry.

Stay relevant: Giving families what they want Heather Garman & Tracy FettersAre you delivering what your consumers really want? Have you ever had a family bring in their own merchandise or choose the lowest priced “something” because they didn’t find something they liked? Do you deliver product options families find real meaning in and that make them feel positively connected to you for providing?

Listen and learn from consumer research. Hear from real families who were thrilled, somewhat satisfied or disappointed with lack of memorialization options. Learn what real customers thought of the funeral arrangements they made for their loved ones and what options they were or weren’t presented. Garman and Fetters will discuss ways to apply active listening

skills, feedback tracking and evaluation, along with customer satisfaction surveys, to help you stay relevant and really make a “wow” statement.Garman is director of marketing for Messenger, Auburn, Indiana. She has more than 20 years of experience in marketing and customer service and specializes in finding ways to “wow” customers.Fetters is marketing and communications supervisor for Messenger. She has more than 15 years of experience in B2B and B2C marketing and communications. She leverages a variety of communication and research methods to engage customer feedback.

Bringing leads into your sales pipelineDale FilhaberEvery cemetery and funeral home needs to market. The key to success is to market wisely and

generate quality leads on an on-going basis. One way to do this is to develop a strategic lead-generation program that brings leads into the sales pipeline day-in/day-out. There are different tactics for developing preneed leads, creating high visibility for at-need and finding the right prospects for final expenses.

This session will cover prospecting by direct mail, telemarketing and email, as well as the opportunities for maximizing in-house lists. Also discussed will be how search engine optimization (SEO), social media and becoming a community resource can impact your lead-generation.

Filhaber is president and “listologist supreme” of Dataman Group Direct Mail & Telemarketing Lists, Boca Raton, Florida. Dataman was founded in 1981 and has provided thousands of clients across the country with accurate, high quality direct mail and telemarketing lists. Known as DataDale, she is a certified listologist—one of the few in the industry today, and a direct marketing commentator who writes articles and blog posts for Water Technology online, the ICCFA, the FDMA and the Boca Raton Chamber of Commerce.

Growing your preneed business Quinn EaganIf you are interested in growing your market share and nurturing existing relationships with your families, join Eagan as he focuses on the whys and hows of effective preneed marketing by sharing specific examples and success stories of how best to meet the needs of families while simultaneously boosting profitability. At the end of the session, you will be able to identify and implement the right preneed strategies for your business, grade your own level of preneed success and understand the value that lies in a good, effective preneed program.Eagan is president and founder of Preneed Funeral Programs, Metairie, Louisiana. With more than 30 years of experience in the funeral

industry, he has the experience and proficiency to guide funeral homes to new heights in market share, profitability and family loyalty.

Sales & Marketing


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Five simple (and free!) ways to enhance your website John HealdMany activities that traditionally take place in a brick-and-mortar building now take place online. Your families are also looking online for information about funeral services, and your website serves as your digital storefront. Are you placing enough emphasis on what your website can do for your business? Using real examples, we’ll share five ways to enhance your existing website without spending any money or changing website providers.Heald is a fourth-generation funeral director licensed in Massachusetts for 18 years. He started his career as an apprentice at Eaton Funeral home in Needham, Massachusetts. Since then, he has worked as a casket sales consultant and preneed insurance broker. He was one of the original members

of the team that in 2008 started Tributes.com, which last year was acquired by Legacy.com, where he remains as vice president of funeral home development.

Adapt or die: Technology trends disrupting consumer behavior Joe JoachimWhether you’re ready or not, 78 million people in the most powerful demographic are making their way into your client family base. And with them, they bring nearly $3.2 trillion in annual spending power. Who are they? They’re the baby boomers, and their behavior is rapidly changing, with digital activities growing rapidly in every sphere.

What does this mean to you? Your families expect an entirely different experience from your funeral business. And if your firm doesn’t adapt to their changing needs, you’ll simply get left behind. For funeral professionals to adapt, it’s important to first identify the behavioral trends that are gaining momentum in the industry. Joachim will present the technology trends that are disrupting

consumer behavior and how you can leverage them to attract and engage the families of today. By the end of this presentation, you’ll be able to cut through the clutter, provide more value to today’s changing families and ultimately become more profitable. Joachim is CEO and founder of funeralOne, Detroit, Michigan. He has spent the last decade researching the changing needs of today’s families so that funeral professionals can better meet them. Called the “Walt Disney of Funerals” by Barbara Walters, his unconventional business approach has been recognized by USA Today, Forbes, BusinessWeek and others.

Preplanning 2.0: How to use digital marketing to generate leads Zach GarbowAs our communities’ demographics change, the approaches funeral homes and cemeteries use to reach these folks must evolve as well. Over 70 percent of the U.S. is on Facebook and almost 70 percent of the country owns a smartphone. In order to grow your preneed and business leads, you must reach these people where they spend the majority of their time: online.Garbow will share proven techniques for funeral homes and cemeteries to reach their community using digital marketing. He’ll show real examples of how you can generate leads using Facebook, email and your website. You will gain actionable knowledge to deploy a digital marketing strategy that increases your bottom line and keeps you ahead of your competition.

Garbow is co-founder of Funeral Innovations, Louisville, Colorado, a technology firm specializing in digital marketing solutions for the funeral service industry. He previously was a software engineer within IBM Research, where he had more than 100 patents pending.

Technology

Corporate partners include: Visit www.iccfaconvention.com for a current list of sponsors

Sponsorships still available. For infor-

mation, visit www.iccfa.com/exhibiting

American Memorial Life Insurance Co.

Assurant Life of Canada

Batesville Casket Co. Inc.

BIondand North America Inc.

Clearpoint Federal Bank & Trust

Coeio

Coldspring

Cypress Lawn

Eagle’s Wing Air

Forest Lawn Memorial-Parksand Mortuaries

Forethought Life Insurance Co.

Foundation Partners

Green Hills Memorial Park

Guerra & Gutierrez Mortuary

Hepburn Superior US Chemical

Homesteaders

IMSA

Independence Trust Co.

Inman Shipping

Johnson Consulting Group

Live Oak Bank

Madelyn Co.

Matthews International Corp.

NGL Insurance Group

NOMIS Publications Inc.

NorthStar Memorial Group

Precoa

Riviera Tailors LTD

Service Corporation International

Spring Grove Cemetery & Arboretum

StoneMor Partners LP

The Signature Group

Partners enable the ICCFA to offer excellent programming while keeping registration fees low.

GeT The app!If you haven’t downloaded the ICCFA app from the Google Play or Apple App store, do so now. A guide for the ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo will be available in March. You’ll find session descriptions, speaker bios, a map of the expo, a list of all preregistrants to facilitate networking before the event (following the early-bird cutoff), the ability to create your personal schedule for the week and much more! Also, join us for a webinar in late March that will show you how to make the most of this invaluable tool.


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Green Services

Green design & innovation: Restoration ecology in the hybrid cemetery Deborah Cassidy, Cliff David & Adam A. Supplee, RLA, ASLA, AICP, LEED APOn the outskirts of Philadelphia, overlooking the Cynwyd Heritage Trail, West Laurel Hill’s Nature’s Sanctuary exemplifies an innovative new approach to hybrid cemeteries. While many hybrid cemeteries simply agree to allow vaultless burial areas in their conventional lawn cemeteries, West Laurel Hill is actively employing conservation restoration principles to a previously disturbed site.

Through a strategy they call assisted ecological succession, cemetery staff envisions that with careful intervention the woodland will slowly emerge from its current state as a beautiful wildflower meadow into a complex forest environment, with perpetual care carried out by nature and its forest community of plants, trees and animals. Green design elements include reintroduction of native plants and installation of honey beehives, a memorial wall and a walking trail constructed with locally sourced materials. Nature’s Sanctuary uses goats twice a year for low-impact maintenance. Learn how you can do a little to accomplish a lot in your hybrid cemetery.

Cassidy is director of sales, marketing and family services at West Laurel Hill Cemetery, Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania. In her 14 years at historic West Laurel Hill Cemetery and Bringhurst Funeral Home, she has played an instrumental role in the implementation of a variety of new programs, projects and community relations efforts, keeping the area’s premier cemetery and funeral home at the forefront of the profession.

David is president and CEO of Conservation Economics and has built his career as an innovator, combining nonprofit mission with for-profit financial incentives to transform land management through conservation as a senior leader of a regional land trust and other nonprofit and for-profit organizations. He has been involved with the growth and development of West Laurel Hill Cemetery for more than 30 years.

Supplee earned his degree at Temple University’s School of Landscape Architecture and Horticulture and has more than 20 years of experience in sustainable design and redevelopment projects, including developing new green cemeteries and improving existing ones. He is a partner in KMS Design Group and is a licensed landscape architect in Pennsylvania, an American Planning Association certified planner (AICP) and a LEED accredited professional.

The magic of Techni-ice and waxed paper: What funeral directors need to know about green burial preparation Ed Bixby & Bob FertigBurial without embalming requires a whole new set of techniques for preparing bodies for visitation, transportation and interment that you probably weren’t taught in mortuary school. Learn what noninvasive, biodegradable products and procedures will ensure that your green burial families experience a seamless, environmentally responsible funeral. Reduce your own stress by knowing what to do to prevent unwanted or disturbing events long before you pull up to the cemetery gates. Experienced funeral director Fertig and Steelmantown cemetery operator Bixby will walk you through the steps, from receiving the body to closing the grave, to avoid show-stopping surprises.Bixby is a Green Burial Council director (president), and is owner and operator of Steelmantown Green Burial Preserve, Steelmantown, New Jersey. He has led presentations on natural burial for numerous organizations and has provided educational training for both funeral directors and cemeterians alike.

Fertig is a Green Burial Council director and is owner and operator of Fertig Funeral Home, Mullica Hill, New Jersey. In 2008, Fertig began offering green burial and home funerals in response to the burgeoning interest in green funerals. He and his wife Denise present informative talks about green burial to community groups and healthcare professionals in their area.

When the body arrives in a Prius: What cemetery staff need to know about green burial families Candace Currie & Lee WebsterWith home funerals on the rise, cemetery operators are being faced with bodies prepared at home by family rather than professionals. What safeguards do cemeteries need to put in place in order to ensure that families have prepared the body properly? How can cemetery staff aid families who approach them about how to prepare, transport and bury their loved ones safely and without unwanted surprises? First learn about how home funeral families prepare loved ones and what role a home funeral guide might play in smoothing the process. Then hear how to develop and enforce green cemetery regulations and about conducting arrangement conversations that will keep the family in charge and your cemetery off the front page.Currie is a Green Burial Council director (secretary) and is director of planning and sustainability for Mount Auburn Cemetery, Cambridge and Watertown, Massachusetts. She also volunteers with Green Burial Massachusetts. She holds LEED Green Associate credentials and a master’s degree in landscape design from the Conway School of Landscape Design of Western Massachusetts.

Webster is president of the National Home Funeral Alliance, a Green Burial Council director (treasurer) and director of New Hampshire Funeral Resources, Education & Advocacy. She is a writer, researcher, editor, public speaker and has been a hospice worker for more than 30 years.


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Understand where we have been to guide where we are goingBill Remkus, CPLPThis session will begin with an explanation of how pet cemeterians lost sight of their core values and entered into pet disposal. As a result, veterinarians now control the market. You will learn how we are changing our profession and the veterinary community to meet the needs of modern client families.

Growing revenue from past, present & future consumersBob JenkinsHow can you re-connect with families who didn’t make an urn purchase? Does your business offer sustainable solutions for private or communal cremations? Is your cemetery a destination for burial as well as cremation? Jenkins will discuss

innovative ways to educate past, present and future consumers about products and services, including sustainable options. He will share methods and concepts to help create a personal “experience” and discuss how to make your cemetery a desirable destination.Jenkins is co-founder and owner of Verde Products Inc., a company dedicated to the development of sustainable burial and cremation alternatives. The company mission is to continue the cycle of life while protecting, enhancing and preserving the earth. A graduate of Kentucky School of Mortuary Science, during the past 10 years he has been very involved with the pet after-life-care profession.

Decorating your funeral home Leslie ReidLet Reid, director of Pet Pilgrimage Crematory and Memorials and an interior designer for 22 years, inspire you

to create warm, welcoming environments for your pet families. She will introduce the proper way to use color and how to select multi-purpose furnishings and engaging artwork. Your families/clients are going to be observing your business as a whole. If the surroundings aren’t comfortable or satisfying to the eye, you are missing out on a big selling tool.Reid is director of Pet Pilgrimage, a division of Cavin-Cook Funeral Home, Mooresville, North Carolina. A graduate of the University of Georgia, she has a BFA in interior design and 22 years of experience in both commercial and residential design. She was co-owner of Renaissance Interiors Inc. for 12 years, until joining Cavin-Cook in 2012.

Providing for the next generation: Succession planning & selling a business in the pet loss industryNicholas PadloYour pet loss business has grown over many years, as a result of love and hard work.

The purpose of this discussion is to help you prepare your company for the next generation. Whether handing the business down to children, transitioning to employees or selling to an outside buyer, there are many financial and operational steps necessary to position your business properly, maximize your financial return and make the transition as smooth as possible. If retirement or transition is five to 10 years away, it is time to start strategic exit planning.Padlo is CEO of The Pet Loss Center, Dallas, Texas. He is an Army veteran, proven Dallas-Fort-Worth area business leader and a committed pet parent. Prior to his current role, Padlo was the founder of Graycourt Capital, a firm dedicated to entering the pet-care market, which he did successfully through the purchase of The Pet Loss Center’s enterprises. Prior to Graycourt, he worked as a case team leader for Bain & Co. in Dallas.

Educational track

Roundtable: Details of a pet loss business Coleen Ellis, CPLP, & Bill Remkus, CPLPThe details of operating a business can many times be overwhelming. With so many amazing pet loss operations in the country, there are countless best practices worth sharing. In this session, attendees will see what pet loss colleagues nationwide are doing in areas such as vehicles, effective interior/building set up, pet tracking, marketing and other elements that will get your creative business juices flowing.

Ellis is managing partner and chief marketing officer at The Pet Loss Clinic, Dallas, Texas. In 2004, her experience following the death of her dog Mico guided her in starting the nation’s first stand-alone pet-only funeral home. In 2009, she founded Two Hearts Pet Loss Center to guide people who wish to provide meaningful pet death care services in their communities, as well to be an educational resource in the pet grief discipline.

Remkus is owner, Hinsdale Animal Cemetery & Crematory, Willowbrook, Illinois, and with Ellis is co-founder and co-chair of the Pet Loss Professionals Alliance (PLPA). He was instrumental in the creation of Illinois’ Companion Animal Cremation Act. He is a third-generation owner at the cemetery, with experience in the business since 1971. He has always been a passionate advocate of ethical after-death care for pets, continuously striving to raise the level of integrity in the industry.

Special events

PLPA ReceptionThusday, April 14, 5-6 p.m.Join pet loss professionals from around the world as they meet to kick off a week full of festivities. Hors d’oeurves and drinks will be served. Admission is included with every full registration.

2nd Annual Pet Memorial Service Friday, April 15, 8:40-8:50 a.m.Join us as we honor service pets and family pets of ICCFA members who have died in the past year. Instructions and a PDF form can be found at www.iccfa.com/membership. Submission deadline is February 29.


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ICCFA ANNUAL CONVENTION & EXPO Registration Form

� Complete and either fax (703.391.8416), email ([email protected]) or mail this form with payment to ICCFA (address at the bottom of the page).

� Pick up your badge at the Attendee Registration desk on site. REGISTRANT INFORMATION

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! Check here if you have a disability or require assistance (please attach a statement of your needs).

*A Closing Dinner ticket is included with each full registration you purchase, including Spouse/Guest.

**A Spouse/Guest must be someone who does not work in the industry.

+ Pay the non-member rate and receive a year of ICCFA membership complimentary (a $245 value).

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! Check ! Credit Card (circle one): MasterCard Visa AmEx Discover Card Number Exp. Date

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Registration and Optional Events Cancellation Policy: Cancellations must be received in writing via fax, email ([email protected]) or mail to ICCFA no later than February 29, 2016, to receive a refund. Full registrations are subject to a $100 cancellation fee per registration. Optional events are subject to a $10 cancellation fee per ticket. No-shows will not receive a refund.

Return form to: ICCFA Meetings Dept., 107 Carpenter Dr., Ste. 100, Sterling, VA 20164, or 703.391.8416. Questions? Call 1.800.645.7700.

REGISTRATION By 2/29/16 After 2/29/16 Amount Due Member $515 $565 Non-member+ $655 $705 First-Time Attendee $399 $399 Spouse/Guest (4/13-16)** $215 $215 Member Supplier $615 $665 Non-member Supplier+ $815 $865

TICKETED EVENTS Price # of tickets purchasing

Cemetery Tour (4/16, 2-5 p.m.) $75 =

Educational Foundation Reception (4/15, 6 p.m.) $50 =

State Assoc. Luncheon (4/16, 1 p.m.) $60 =

Closing Reception/Dinner* (4/16, 6 p.m.) $115 =

GRAND TOTAL =

ReGiSTRaTion DiSCounT Save $50 on your registration fees! Register by the early bird deadline of February 29.



January 13-15: ICCFA Wide World of Sales Conf., Monte Carlo Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada. www.iccfa.comJanuary 14-16: Utah Funeral Directors Assn. Mid-Winter Mtg., Best Western Plus Abbey Inn, Saint George. www.ufda.orgJanuary 15-17: Mid-Atlantic Monument Builders Assn. Annual Convention Marriott Waterfront, Baltimore, Maryland. www.mid-atlantic.comJanuary 17-19: Alabama Funeral Directors Assn. Mid-Winter Trade Show, Birmingham. www.alabamafda.org January 18: New Hampshire Funeral Directors Assn. Annual Mtg., Church Landing, Inns & Spa at Mill Falls, Meredith. www.nhfda.orgJanuary 24-28: Georgia Funeral Directors Assn. and Independent Funeral Directors of Georgia Joing Funeral Service Expo, Atlanta. www.gfda.orgFebruary 1-3: South Carolina Funeral

Calendar➤E-mail calendar listings and additions or corrections to Association Pipeline to [email protected] and [email protected].

➤For continually updated meeting listings and direct links to websites for professional associations, go to www.iccfa.com; select Find a Member, then Industry Associations.

➤To see all industry conventions and meetings for a particular month, go to www.iccfa.com; select Find a Member, then Industry Calendar.

Go to www.iccfa.com and choose Find a Member/Industry Calendar to see a monthly calendar ofindustry asso-ciation meetings worldwide.

ClassifiedsCheck the classified announcements at www.iccfa.com/employment.htmTo place a classified, contact Rick Platter, [email protected]

Funeral directorfor Carriage ServicesCarriage Services is looking for a funeral director in Lawton, Oklahoma.

Are you interested in joining a family-team with ownership benefits?

Would you like for your career or vocation to be in the very community which you live?

Are you tired of feeling as though your value and service as a funeral professional is being commoditized?

Our directors become family-team members in our decentralized businesses that are an important part within the very communities in which they reside. Directors work with client families to ensure that families are experiencing the

highest quality of service and are receiving the highest value, personal experience. We count on our directors to exemplify our core values, providing the most professional and ethical service possible.

Email [email protected] to apply.

Cemetery & preneed receivables financingWe will lend your company money on your receivables, or we will buy your receivables if you prefer. Either way, you retain access to your customers. Fast closings, with immediate funding of perpetual care fees. Call Harry Van Sciver at 508.428.3458, or fax your request to 508.428.0607, or contact us through our website at www.whitebriar.com. r

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TEL: (508) 822-3127FAX: (508) 824-5895

VISIT OUR WEB SITE/WWW.ADOVERMARKER.COM

➤to page 114

To advertise in ICCFA Magazine,contact Rick Platter, [email protected].


a d i n d e x

31 Abbott & Hast 67 AFCTS 71 American Cemetery/Mortuary Consultants 83 ASD—Answering Service for Directors 89 Axis Corp. 97 Batesville Casket 13 Biondan North America Inc. 31 Blackstone Cemetery Development 35 Carriage Services Inc. 109 Carrier Mausoleums Construction 43 CemSites 75 Chapter Eternal Enterprises LLCt 69 Cherokee Casket 63 Clearpoint Federal Bank Trust 29 Coldspring 95 Continental Computer Corp. 81 Cooperative Funeral Fund 53 Cremation Association of North America 73 Eagle Granite Co. 51 Eagle’s Wings Air 3 Eickhof Columbaria Inc. 49 Ensure-A-Seal 49 Flowers for Cemeteries 77 Franklin Wrap 65 Funeral Call Answering Service

99 Funeral Data Manager 116 Funeral Home Gifts 107 Great Western Insurance Co. 69 Hallmark Monogram Co. 79 Holland Supply 81 Holy Land Stone 7 Homesteaders Life Co. 17 Huntington Bank 66 IMSA 73 Inman Shipping Worldwide 47 Johnson Consulting 53 Kryprotek 39 Legacy.com 101 Live Oak Bank 51 Love Urns LLC 5 LP Bronze International 89 Madelyn Co. 9 Matthews International 105 Merendino Cemetery Care 65 Miles Supply Inc. 103 MKJ Marketing 57 National Guardian Life Insurance Co. 83 National Mortuary Shipping 61 Nomis Publications 25 NorthStar Memorial Group 31 Obermayer Rebmann Maxwell & Hippel

41 Paradise Pictures 59 Perfect Memorials 19 PlotBox 2 Pontem Software 15 Security National Life Insurance Co. 75 SEP Technologies 111 Southern Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association 33 SRS Computing 45 Star Granite & Bronze 93 Starmark Funeral Products 4 StoneMor Partners 83 Supply Link 75 The Key Chain Urn Co. 27 The Tribute Companies 71 Timberland Urns 55 Trigard 25 Triple H Co. 39 Triple H Co. 85 U.S. Metalcraft 79 Vantage Products Corp. 87 Wilbert Funeral Services 83 WithumSmith + Brown 115 Worsham College 71 Xiamen Ever-Rising Stone Co. 49 Zontec Ozone r

➤from page 113Directors Assn. Mid-Winter Conf. & Expo, Columbia. www.scfda.orgFebruary 3-4: CANA Cremation Symposium, Tropicana Hotel, Las Vegas, Nevada. www.cremationassociation.orgFebruary 2-4: The Center for Loss & Life Transition training for funeral directors, “Opening your community’s eyes to why we need funerals,” facilitated by Dr. Cx Wolfelt, Scottsdale, Arizona. www.centerforloss.comFebruary 19-11: West Virginia Funeral Directors Assn. Mid-Winter Advocacy Summit, Charleston. www.wvfda.orgFebruary 12-14: Maryland State Funeral Directors Assn. Mid-Winter Retreat, Clarion Resort & Conf. Center, Ocean City. www.msfda.netFebruary 13-20: FrontRunner & American Academy McAllister Institute of Funeral Service 7th Annual Funeral Business & Technology Workshop Cruise, departing from Miami, Florida. 1.866.748.3625;

www.FrontRunner360.com/cruiseFebruary 24-25: International Conference of Funeral Service Examining Boards Annual Mtg., Hyatt Regency Newport Beach, California. 479.442.7076; www.theconferenceonline.orgFebruary 26-28: Monument Builders of North America Annual Convention, Atlanta, Georgia. www.monumentbuilders.orgFebruary 29-March 2: MKJ Marketing seminar, Top-Line Growth, The Westin Riverfront Resort & Spa, Beaver Creek, Colorado. 1.888.MKJ.1566March 2-3: Illinois Cemetery & Funeral Home Assn. 88th Semi-Annual Spring Convention, Holiday Inn & Suites, Bloomington. [email protected] 3-5: Casket & Funeral Supply Assn. of America Winter Seminar, Ft. Myers, Florida. www.cfsaa.orgMarch 11-13: (British) Society of Allied & Independent Funeral Directors Annual General Mtg., Glamorgan, UK.

www.saif.org.ukMarch 17-19: California Assn. of Public Ceme teries Annual Convention, Embassy Suites, Monterey Resorts. [email protected] 21-23: MKJ Marketing seminar, Top-Line Growth, Ritz-Carlton Resort, Amelia Island, Florida. 1.888.MKJ.1566March 23: Washington Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Assn. Spring College, Lindwood. www.wccfa.usMarch 30-31: Utah Funeral Directors Assn. Annual Convention, ErgerySolutons Arena, Salt Lake City. www.ufda.orgApril 1-3: TANEXPO, Bologna, Italy. [email protected] 13-16: ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo, Ernest N. Morial Convention Center & Hilton New Orleans Riverside, New Orleans, Louisiana. www.iccfa.comApril 13-16: Assn. for Death Education & Counseling 38th Annual Conf., Hilton Minneapolis, Minnesota. www.adec.org r

c a l e n d a r

iccfa magazine january 2016

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