How To Write Better In VCE English

Not what you say, but how you say it

• Racism is a big problem for the indigenous characters in No Sugar.

• Racism pervades the daily existence of indigenous characters in No Sugar.

The Lowdown

• Use strong action words

• Write about ideas

• Use connectors

• Use a variety of sentence structures

Action words = verbs

• In No Sugar Jack Davis explores...

• Throughout No Sugar, indigenous people struggle against...

• Neal’s prejudice destroys...

Rosemary is similarly trapped by societal customs. Post-war America designates her one position in life: the role of a housewife and mother. This convention cages her, despite her attempts to escape it. The memoir emphasises the perpetual cycle of abuse that Rosemary and her son are subjected to. The opening line of the text, ‘Our car boiled over again.’, demonstrates the repetitive and fruitless nature of Rosemary’s attempts to transform her life.

Your turn

• In No Sugar, Jack Davis explores/represents/dramatises/depicts...

• Throughout the play, the indigenous characters struggle against/confront/face/endure/survive...

The alarmist tone transforms into an attack on the audience, not in a vicious way so as not to offend the audience, but instead urges them to want to take action. Lee contends that it is due to ‘our thoughtless human actions’ that species are suffering, the ‘destruction of natural habitats, hunting,’ and the list continues. As it is ‘our’ fault that biodiversity is diminishing , the speaker declares that it should be ‘us’ who reverse the trend, ‘We have no excuse for inaction.’ The continued use of inclusive language engages the audience and the speaker implies that it is their problem and they must right their wrong. Lee’s use of adjectives ‘wonderful’, ‘glossy’ and ‘inspiring’ all connote a glamorous, easy and passive method of convincing others to take action, and this is strongly contrasted when followed by ‘real action’. Here, the speaker accuses the conservationists and other influential people of not doing what they are supposed to do, opening their eyes to the reality of the situation. Lee describes talk at the conference as ‘platitudes,’ this disapproving tone used to further reprimand the audience, and Lee passes on guilt with the words, a strong motivator for action.

This convention cages her, despite her attempts to escape it.

• debilitating/casual/everyday/constant/continual/abhorrent/appalling racism

• ....racism of....

• traps/forces/demonstrates/creates/dominates/affects

In A Christmas Carol, the jubilance exhibited by the Cratchit family acts as a stark contrast to their circumstances, teaching Scrooge and Dickens’ audience of the importance of happiness in life over wealth.

In No Sugar, the family bonds (of/which/that).....acts/serves

Landscapes are not static places, offering the human mind avenues to transform them far beyond what we actually see. This is particularly true of reconciliation. In Australia’s short history, one of both displacement and strength, the relationship between indigenous and non-indigenous peoples have fluctuated greatly.

• The opening of the play reveals/creates/foreshadows...

The number

239

Top reasons students don’t study for English

• Don’t know how

• Writing essays takes a long time

• Writing essays is hard

• Think they’re not good at English

Skill improvement

• In 1978 British postmen were taught to type. Some postmen were taught:

• One x 1 hour session each day (60 days)

• Two x 1 hour session each day (30 days)

• One x 2 hour session each day (30 days)

• Two x 2 hour session each day (15 days)

• After sixty hours of training - who had the highest level of skill?

Skill improvement

• In 1978 British postmen were taught to type. Some postmen were taught:

• One x 1 hour session each day (60 days) (55 hrs)

• Two x 1 hour session each day (30 days)

• One x 2 hour session each day (30 days)

• Two x 2 hour session each day (15 days) (80 hrs)

• After sixty hours of training - who had the highest level of skill?

English study

• Practice writing sentences

• Practice writing sentences about ideas

• Practice writing sentences using strong verbs

In No Sugar indigenous characters

forces

shows Ingrained racism

all/many/some of the white characters

deep despair Jack Davis endure

In his meandering tale Bypass: the story of a road, Michael McGirr leads his readers on a journey down ‘Australia’s main street’, the Hume Highway ensuring that the stretch of bitumen is seen in a unique and refreshing way. From his bicycle saddle, McGirr is able to make use of his keen eye for detail as he observes, ponders and enlightens on the intricacies of human behaviour. Not only does his unique and honest narrative detail his journey from Sydney to Melbourne, it also offers an insight into the personal and spiritual journey that McGirr has embarked on. His physical journey is accompanied by annecdotes from his past, historical insights and aspects of his immense knowledge of literature, as well the constant embellishment of self- deprecating humour. From all aspects of the journey that McGirr includes in his memoir, his readers are able to learn more of the man himself. In this way, Bypass: the story of a road proves not only to be a detailed account of a bike ride, but a collection of opportunities to learn about McGirr’s own character.

• In, Throughout, During

• Although, While, Despite, However, Moreover

• In, Consequently, Ultimately, By, From

Connectors

Your turn

• First sentence: Throughout No Sugar...

• Second sentence: Elaborate

• Third sentence: Despite, However, Moreover...

Sentence variety

• Start sentences in different ways

• Use different words

• Structure sentences differently

No Sugar Explores Racism Characters

*No Sugar*The Play

*The drama No Sugar

*The text*The narrative*Jack Davis’ No

Sugar

*Depicts*Represents

*Draws*Shows

*Prejudice*Daily experience

of racism*Routine racism

faced by

*The characters*Indigenous people

*The Millamurra family

*Each of the indigenous characters

and, not only...but also, along with, together withand, not only...but also, along with, together withand, not only...but also, along with, together withand, not only...but also, along with, together with

Yergon refers to our ‘beautiful blue planet we call home,’ suggesting that such a perspective would not have occurred if not for the ‘bravery’ of astronauts in exploration, compelling readers to reflect on the fortune they have of such a beautiful planet which has been developed through exploration.

• Jack Davis explores the pervasiveness of racism in No Sugar, creating a text where...

Thank you...

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