hot spot issue #300
TRANSCRIPT
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LOUNGES & CLUBS
Mr. Wonderfuls icIsland Breeze 09Frozen Paradise icNetties Lounge 24Rosettes 19Inferno Lounge icRaymonds Players Club 10Da Boat 13
TRANSPORTATIONBobby Albright 35Alex Alick 35
ENTERTAINMENTDr. I.M. Smartt Lottery 35HOT SPOT Maze 36SUDOKU 36SUDOKU Solution 39DJ Dirty Redd 09DJ Postman 09DJ Mack Daddy 05Insomniacts Entertainment 09Trevon Stand 06Domino Theory Band 32Inferno Monday Night 33
SERVICESMind of Creations 08Restore Your Photos 14, 04HOT SPOT Printing 05One Time Pest Control 03J.J.s Tire World 29JJ & Ys Auto Detailing 29Family Reunion Book 35Washers and Dryers 38
CLOTHING & FASHIONHOT SPOT Stuff
EVENTSTraveling 6 Pack Daytona Trip 27Traveling 6 Pack Party 32Jones Wedding Anniversary 06Baby Boy Julian Polite Jr. 34
FOOD & DININGShell Shoppe Seafood 11Pats Catering 35
HEALTH & BEAUTYMedicaid Advantage 05AVON 42
LEGAL & FINANCIALMAX$ TAXS 03Medicare Upgrade 41
A Brighter Day Bail Bond 26
TECHNOLOGYRestore Your Photos 04, 14HOT SPOT Online 15
AROUND TOWNAround TownAround TownAround Town ExtraAround Town ExtraMore Around TownMore Around Town
FEATURESHOT SPOT Reps 14HOT SPOT Subscribe 35One Mans Opinion 02HOT SPOT Schedule 05HOT SPOT Rates 32LaughsAll Eyes on Egipt 16All Eyes on Egipt 17
Floyd Adams, Jr. 09
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One Mans Opinion
Part II spent the last four days, Friday through Tuesday with my Dad in
Hartsville, SC. Hes 90+ and Im 59+, so we had 150 years of oldmen keeping each other company. So it went like this.
Friday: we ate, sat in front of the TV, took a nap, ate, took a nap,went to bed.
Saturday: we ate, sat in front of the TV, took a nap, woke up and ate. He threatened to do someyard work, I talked him out of it, so we ate and took a nap. We woke up, I threatened to do the yardwork but he talked me out of it, so we ate, he complained that it was too cold, I complained that itwas too hot, so we took a nap in front of the TV, woke up and ate and went to bed.
Sunday: we ate, took a nap, woke up I went to the movies, Daddy took another nap. Hes moreskilled in the complexities of napping, I just couldnt keep up. When I came back, he complained thatit was too cold, I complained that it was too hot, so we ate, sat in front of the TV, took a nap so wewould be rested to go to bed. We woke up and ate and went to bed.
Monday: we ate, sat in front of the TV, took a nap, woke up and ate. He threatened to do some yardwork, I talked him out of it, so we ate and took a nap. We woke up, I threatened to do the yard workbut it rained, so we ate, he complained that it was too cold, I complained that it was too hot, so wetook a nap in front of the TV, woke up and ate and went to bed.
Tuesday: We got up and ate and I left for Savannah, Daddy was preparing for his nap. He already
has his Master of Napology Degree and only needs a few more hours for his Phd. Over the weekendI completed the requirements for BSNT Degree, (Bachelor of Science in Napping Technology) andhope to do graduate work real soon.
It was a great weekend, just me and Dad, I AM BLESSED to have BOTH my Parents still with me.Excuse me, Im going to take a nap.
Just, One Mans Opinion.Live Long and Prosper
Ronald A. Gilliard, Publisher
Thanks Savannah, for 12 Years of the HOT SPOT!
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P.O. Box 1531Savannah, GA 31402
Cell: 912-507-3652Email:
Specializing in Adult EventsSorry, No Teens
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Laughs
Dear Internal Revenue Service:Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I
owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached articlefrom the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, whereinyou will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying$171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six(6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home De-
pot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "PresidentialElection Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpen-sively by sending them one (1) 1.5 " Phillips Head screw (seeaforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailinghow H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws).
One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I lookforward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer
LaughsEVER WONDER...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows XP?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashingliquid is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? who tastes dog food when ithas a "new & improved" flavor?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for theindestructible black box ?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? if conis the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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Laughs
On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to
see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks thestewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot
squawks "And get me a whisky you cow!" The
stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for
the parrot and forgets the coffee.
When this omission is pointed out to her the par-
rot drains its glass and bawls "And get me an-
other whisky you idiot". Quite upset, the girl
comes back shaking with another whisky but still
no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness the man triesthe parrot's approach "I've asked you twice for a
coffee, go and get it now or I'll kick you".
The next moment, both he and the parrot have
been wrenched up and thrown out of the emer-
gency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging
downwards the parrot turns to him and says "For
someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"
Laughs
A man placed some flowers on thegrave of his dearly departed mother and
started back toward his car when his at-
tention was diverted to another man
kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to
be praying with profound intensity and
kept repeating, Why did you have to
die? Why did you have to die? The
first man approached him and said, Sir,
I dont wish to interfere with your pri-
vate grief, but this demonstration of
pain is more than Ive ever seen before.
For whom do you mourn so deeply? A
child? A parent? The mourner took a
moment to collect himself, then replied,
My wifes first husband.
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Laughs
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair
of intersecting forest pathways one day, when
they collided at the intersection. They imme-
diately began to argue with one another as to
who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been
blind since birth, and thus should be given ad-
ditional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too,
had been blind since birth. The two animals
then forgot about the collision and began
commiserating concerning the problems of
being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was theloss of his identity. He had never been able to
see his reflection in the water, and for that
reason did not know exactly what he looked
like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared
that he had the same problem. Seeing a way
that they could help each other, the rabbit pro-
posed that one feel the other from head to toe,
and then try to describe what the other animal
was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding
himself around the rabbit. After a few mo-
ments, he announced, "You've got very soft,
fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little
fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a
bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much relieved to find his iden-
tity, and proceeded to return the favor to the
snake. After feeling about the snake's body
for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're
scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little
eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and
you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a
lawyer!"
Laughs
Top Ten Things I Can Say Now
That I Lost "American Idol"
10. "If I had won, I was gonna blowthe prize money on candy and fire-works"9. "Honestly, I thought I was audi-tioning for 'The Apprentice'"8. "Ryan Seacrest isn't as smart ashe seems on TV"7. "If you want to see me 'perform,'I'll be working the noon-to-8 shiftat Old Navy tomorrow"6. "George W. Bush didn't win thepopular vote either, and he's donepretty well for himself"5. "Underneath that table, RandyJackson doesn't wear pants"
4. "Until 10 minutes ago, I had noidea who Dave Letterman was"3. "I could take down Clay Aikenwith one arm in a sling"2. "I handled my loss well -- I gath-ered my belongings, said my good-byes and keyed the crap out of
Simon's car"1. "I have one thing to say to thevoters: What in the hell is wrongwith you people?"
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Laughs
Top Ten Things You Need To Know
To Be A Nurse
10. If it's wet make it dry.
9. If it's dry make it wet.8. Always ask for on-call pay beforeagreeing to overtime.7. Never tell management what youare really thinking.6. Never finish report with, "You havean easy assignment".5. Never say. "This looks like a easyassignment".
4. Don't expect nurses aids to do theirjob.3. Don't expect doctors to believe anything you tell them.2. If you don't have enough time to doeverything, take about 30 minutes tocomplain about it.1. If it moves, rattles, shakes, fallsdown, or won't stay in place: tape it.
For Advertising in theHOT SPOT Contact:
Gary (843) 226-8829
Check Out Our Website: TheHotSpotMagazine.com
For Advertising in the
HOT SPOT Contact:
Denny (912) 428-3701
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MISSED YOUR
HOT SPOT?Now You Dont Have To.
You Can See Your HOT SPOT Online at the
Following Web Sites
Website: TheHotSpotMagazine.com
Website: Scribd.com Keyword: The Hot Spot
Website: Facebook.com Ronald GilliardWebsite: Facebook.com The Hot Spot Magazine
Youtube: SavHotSpot
Watch Our Videos from HOT SPOT TV
On the HOT SPOT Channel
Keep in Touch and Find Out Whats
Going On in the Clubs and at Events,
As It Happens.
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MORE AROUND TOWN
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Laughs
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad
for Classmates.com! There's a reason you
don't talk to people for 25 years. Because
you don't particularly like them! Besides,
I already know what the captain of thefootball team is doing these days: mowing
my lawn.
New Rule: There's no such thing as fla-
vored water. There's a whole aisle of this
crap at the supermarket, water, but with-
out that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored
water is called a soft drink. You want fla-
vored water? Pour some scotch over iceand let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows
alone. Here's how much men care about
your eyebrows: do you have two of them?
Okay, we're done.
As the family gathered for a big dinner to-
gether, the youngest son announced that he
had just signed up at an army recruiter's
office. There were audible gasps around the
table, then some laughter, as his older
brothers shared their disbelief that he could
handle this new situation. "Oh, come on,
quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't
really do that, did you?" "You would never
get through basic training," scoffed an-other. The new recruit looked to his mother
for help, but she was just gazing at him.
When she finally spoke, she simply asked,
"Do you really plan to make your own bed
every morning?"
Laughs
Dictionary for Women
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're
right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled
over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce,
chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and
cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can under-
stand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to
go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally rest-
ing to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writ-
ing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style
you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if
he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contrac-
tions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of
your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhereand neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, mar-
riage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you
cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of
a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself
lucky to get a card.
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MORE AROUND TOWN
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MORE AROUND TOWN
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JORIEFWILLIAMS TIFFANY DIXONLYNCH JASMINE L.WHITE STARROLIVER
AKEEMDAVIS DENISEMOORE RUSSELLE.GILBERT MICKALEFERRELL
BENJAMINWEBBER SELENA YOUNG EDRICABROWN DEMETRIAJACKSON
MIKEROBINSON JAMESWRIGHTJR DOMINICKJACKSON DYSHONL.HOWARD
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Our publication schedule is the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays
of every month. The deadline for inclusion is the Fridaybefore the 2nd & 4th Wed. Our advertising rates are below.
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Times are Tight. Your Advertising Budget is Being Squeezed. You Know You
Must Advertise to Succeed. Make the Most of Your Advertising Dollars.
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Website: www.thehotspotmagazine.com
Being in Business and not Advertising is like Blinking your Eyes in a Dark Room.
You know what Youre doing, but Nobody else does.
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Laughs
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort tomake the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other
announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are
some real examples that have been heard or re-
ported:
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but
there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude
now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off.
Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stayinside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside,
and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pat-
tern."
And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta
Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving usthe business as much as we enjoyed taking you for aride."
After a particularly rough landing during thunder-storms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a North-
west flight announced: "Please take care when open-
ing the overhead compartments because, after a
landing like that, sure as Hell everything hasshifted."
From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcomeaboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate
your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle,
and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt,and if you don't know how to operate one, you
probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In
the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygenmasks will descend from the ceiling. Stop scream-
ing, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you
have a small child traveling with you, secure your
mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travel-ing with two small children, decide now which one
you love more.
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some
broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed be-
fore we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobodyloves you, or your money, more than Southwest Air-
lines."
Laughs
"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather
all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be
distributed evenly among the flight attendants.Please do not leave children or spouses."
"Last one off the plane must clean it."
And from the pilot during his welcome message:
"We are pleased to have some of the best flight at-tendants in the industry ...Unfortunately none of
them are on this flight...!
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hardlanding in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came
on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump
and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tellyou it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's
fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was theasphalt!"
Another flight Attendant's comment on a less thanperfect landing: "We ask you to please remain
seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the termi-
nal."
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the
Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentle-
men, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash
and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screech-ing halt up against the gate. And, once the tire
smoke has cleared and the warning bells are si-lenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your
way through the wreckage to the terminal.
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at
Washington National, a lone voice comes over the
loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement:"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us to-day. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go
blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal
tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Air-ways."
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SUDOKU
The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enter
digits from 1 to 9 into the
blank spaces. Every row must contain
one of each digit. So must
every column, as must every 3x3
square. Each Sudoku has a
unique solution that can be reached
logically without guessing.
The Solution is at the end of the Book.
No Peeking.
HOT SPOT MAZE
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Laughs
"The car won't start," aid a wife to her husband. "Ithink there's water in the carburetor." "How do you
know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even
know what the carburetor is." "I'm telling you,"repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the
carburetor."
"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check itout. Where's the car?" "In the swimming pool."
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Sudoku Solution
Laughs
A completely inebriated man was stumbling downthe street with one foot on the curb and one foot inthe gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got totake you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya abso-
lutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let'sgo."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thankgoodness, I thought I was crippled."
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest
were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a
small private plane. Suddenly, the plane devel-oped engine trouble.
In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the
plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot
grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers
that they had better jump, and bailed out.
Unfortunately, there were only three para-
chutes remaining.
The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor,
I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.
The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and law-
yers are the smartest people in the world. I de-
serve to live."
He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
The priest looked at the little boy and said,
"My son, I've lived a long and full life. Youare young and have your whole life ahead of
you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
The little boy handed the parachute back to the
priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The
'smartest man in the world' just took off with
my back pack."
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1998-2010
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