growing the distance

GROWINGt h e d i s t a n c e

Timeless principles for personal, career, and family success

J I M C L E M M E R

About this BookMany people don’t read leadership and personal development books (even though they mayown a few) because they are turned off by an academic, detailed, or preachy approach. That’swhy, with Growing the Distance, we decided to present this collection of timeless growth andleadership principles in a new and uniquely approachable format.

Here you’ll find each chapter — and each section within that chapter — structured with “layered” headings, summary paragraphs, and subheadings. The text is set in distinct modules,any of which can be read in just a few minutes.

What that means for you, the reader, is an opportunity to read this book in exactly as muchdepth as your time or interest allows. So you can browse the book and gather just the essentialprinciples. Or you can enrich that information with all the quotes, anecdotes, and commentarythat you’ll find in Growing the Distance.

Leadership and personal growth isn’t a step-by-step formula. It’s not a linear “begin here andend there” process. It’s as individual as we are. Growing the Distance uses that philosophy toprovide an inspirational guide that each reader can tailor and make their own for years to come.

GROWING THE DISTANCE: Timeless principles for personal, career, and family success

Copyright © 1999 Jim ClemmerAll rights reserved. The use of any part of this publication reproduced, transmitted in any formor by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system,without the prior consent of the publisher is an infringement of the copyright law. In the caseof photocopying or other reprographic copying of the material, a licence must be obtained fromthe Canadian Reprography Collective before proceeding.

DESIGN, EDITORIAL AND PRODUCTION: MATTHEWS COMMUNICATIONS DESIGN INC.MANAGING EDITOR: PETER MATTHEWS

SENIOR DESIGNER: ELAINE THOMPSON

INDEXER: BARBARA SCHON

Canadian Cataloguing in Publication DataClemmer, Jim, 1956 -

Growing the distance: timeless principles for personal, career, and family success

Includes index.

ISBN 0-9684675-0-4

1. Self-actualization (Psychology). I. Title.

BF637.S4C53 1999 158.1 C98-933010-0

Published by TCG Press, an imprint of the CLEMMER Group Inc.

Printed in United States of America, 2009

ContentsIntroduction 5

CHAPTER 1 The Way of the Leader 11

CHAPTER 2 Focus and Context 23

CHAPTER 3 Responsibility for Choices 43

CHAPTER 4 Authenticity 63

CHAPTER 5 Passion and Commitment 83

CHAPTER 6 Spirit and Meaning 103

CHAPTER 7 Growing and Developing 123

CHAPTER 8 Mobilizing and Energizing 145

AFTERWORD Grow for It 169

Appendices 181

Notes 187

Index 189

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4

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’m not a teacher: only a fellow-traveler of whom you asked the way.

I pointed ahead — ahead of myself as well as you.

George Bernard Shaw

Many people have made countless contributions directly to this book, tomy life, or to the companies I have kept and from which I have drawn somany experiences. Some people avoid giving credit or recognition to oth-ers because they’re afraid of missing someone. I’ll take that chance so Ican give a well-deserved thanks to the people who have helped me growsome of the long distance I have yet to travel.

I owe a big portion of my books and much of the last 25 years of my lifeto Heather, my invaluable life and business partner. Thanks to Chris,Jenn, and Vanessa for patiently putting up with my “Dad Jokes” and myclosed den door.

Hats off to Mark Henderson and Derek Mendham, key executives in growing The CLEMMER Group along its exciting distance so far (with somuch yet to come). Thanks also to Julie Gil, our “digital diva,” withoutwhose high energy and I’ll-figure-it-out attitude we would not be makingour virtual organization and award-winning digital dreams come true.Thanks to Owen Griffiths for decades of friendship and support for thisand our many other growth projects. Thanks to Gail DiSero, MerleDulmadge, Gail Garbe, Ofir Gil, Danielle Pratt, Patty Schachter, CindySindall, Peter Strickland, Tom Tutssel, and Andrew Vujnovich and therapidly growing number of CLEMMER Group associates for translatingour ideas and concepts into action and delivering top value to our Clients.

A big thanks to Dave Chilton for years of friendship, encouragement,invaluable guidance, and outstanding example in this exciting project. I am also grateful to Peter Matthews and Elaine Thompson of MatthewsCommunications Design for their efforts in shaping the editorial anddesign of this book — and bringing my vague concept of a “browser’sdigest” to life.

And thanks to the many authors, researchers, sages, speakers, and leaders too numerous to mention who’ve blazed the paths that I’ve tried to point toward — for myself as much as others.

T5

IntroductionLittle three-year-old Kim had just

dressed herself and was ready to

head out the door when her dad

stopped her. “Just a minute,” he

said. “You've got your shoes on the

wrong feet.” Kim looked down at her

feet, looked back up at her father

solemnly and said, “But Daddy,

these are the only feet I have.”

THIS LIFETIME IS THE only one we have. And now is the time to make the most of it.

We can’t change our past, but we can change our future. We can’t controlothers, but we can control ourselves. We can meet the challenges of today’srapidly changing world by changing ourselves. We can advance from wherewe are now to where we want to be tomorrow. We can take action — rightnow — and start growing the distance.

This growing process is all about developing the qualities of leadership thateach of us has, regardless of our position in society or the workplace. Becausehow we change and control ourselves will determine the effect we have onothers. That’s real leadership. And that’s what this book will help you develop.

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6 I N T R O D U C T I O N

LET YOURSELF GROWAll speech, written or spoken, is a dead language,

until it finds a willing and prepared hearer.

Robert Louis Stevenson, Reflections and Remarks on Human Life

I AM DELIGHTED WE’VE found each other. This bookis written for seekers on the grow — people whoare constantly looking to improve. You’re clearlyone of us or you wouldn’t be reading this.

I’ve been studying, applying, and helping othersto use key leadership principles from the fields ofpersonal, team, and organizational developmentsince the early 1970s. During that time, I’ve seenmany people dramatically improve their lives, aswell as those of their families, teams, communi-ties, or organizations using the leadership princi-ples we’ll be exploring.

Some of these recharged leaders have developed apersonal mission to help others understand andapply these life-changing leadership approaches.And what many of these “missionaries” have discovered is that those who need the most devel-opment are the least aware of it. Their unaware-ness is what keeps them unaware. Since theydon’t seek, they don’t find.

At The CLEMMER Group, my development andconsulting firm, we are always fascinated by thewide variance in receptivity to our developmentmaterials, workshops, coaching, or presentations.For some, it can be life-changing. For others it’s abig yawn. Since the message being transmitted isexactly the same, the big difference is in thereceiver’s readiness to receive. I hope that ourmessages and your readiness come together in thepages ahead.

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I N T R O D U C T I O N 7

JUST FOR THE FUN OF ITOf all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted.

Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort, Maxims and Considerations

HERE’S AN EXCERPT FROM my firm’s vision statementthat explains where I am coming from with thewriting style I’ve tried to use throughout this book:

We’re having the time of our lives. Our meetings andcommunications are filled with humor and fun. Animportant measure of our corporate health is ourLaughter Index, and it’s high. We know that we flyhighest by taking ourselves lightly. We don’t sufferfrom “jest lag.” We’ve developed an image of “profes-sional light-heartedness.” We maintain a professionalimage with strong doses of humor and humanness.We take our purpose, vision, and values — but notourselves — seriously.

All of which means you will be exposed to myown peculiar sense of humor. Our three teenageand pre-teenage kids (Chris, Jenn, and Vanessa)feel this book should come with a bright redwarning label about that. One night at our dinnertable I cracked what I thought was a pretty funnyremark. Chris rolled his eyes to the ceiling andsaid, “Dad, I hope you don’t use any of thathumor with your audiences. If you do,” he con-tinued, “I am really concerned about our future.”Vanessa bought me a Christmas card that read:“Dad, you’ve always done so much for me, so Iam going to put a lot of effort into yourChristmas gift.” The inside continued, “That’sright — I’m going to laugh at one of your jokes.”

It’s all too easy for a development book to be likea pair of steer horns — a point here and a pointthere, with a whole lot of bull in between. I willdo my best to keep my points sharp and minimizeyour need for a shovel.

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AND I QUOTE...What is all wisdom save a collection of platitudes? Take fifty of our current prover-

bial sayings — they are so trite, so threadbare, that we can hardly bring our lips to

utter them. None the less they embody the concentrated experience of the race and

the one who orders his life according to their teaching cannot go far wrong.

Norman Douglas; Count Caloveglia’s old teacher, in South Wind

I’VE LONG BEEN A collector of quotations. I heartilyagree with Benjamin Disraeli’s observation that“the wisdom of the wise and the experience of theages are perpetuated by quotations.” This bookattempts to boil down huge fields of study andsimplify centuries of leadership wisdom.Insightful or humorous quotations (a combinationof both are my very favorites) can instantly pro-vide the “ah-ha picture” that’s worth a thousandwords. In other cases, I’ll use current quotationsfrom books or research to reinforce the point of asection or chapter. If I couldn’t have said it bettermyself, I won’t make you wade through pages oftext to prove it.

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STELL ME A STORYMan is eminently a storyteller. His search for a purpose, a cause,

an ideal, a mission and the like is largely a search for a plot and a pattern

in the development of his life story.

Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind

SINCE OUR ANCIENT ANCESTORS first gatheredaround the campfire, we’ve communicatedthrough stories. The incredible number of moviesproduced and books of fiction written each yearshows how much we still love to be told a goodstory. Throughout Growing the Distance I havepulled from or created fables, examples, and tales.They are meant to be entertaining. I hope youenjoy them. At the same time, each story isdesigned to illustrate a timeless principle in thatsection. I hope they drive you to thinking.

I N T R O D U C T I O N 9

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WHERE’S THE ACTION?The secret of a leader lies in the tests he has faced over the whole course

of his life and the habit of action he develops in meeting those tests.

Gail Sheehy, American journalist and author

RESULTS COME FROM WHAT we do with what weknow, not just from what we know. You haveheard some of the ideas in this book before. Theskies may not part and the hallelujah choir comedown to reveal some blinding new insight to youas you read. (If you do have any heavenly visitors,however, please let me know; my contact infor-mation is on page 186.)

We all know much more than we do. We under-stand, but we don’t act. But the key isn’t knowing,it’s doing. Successful people do those things thatless successful people aren’t willing to do — eventhough they know better. Use this book to reviewand reflect… then act.

As personal development speaker Zig Ziglar putsit, make this your time to give yourself a “checkup from the neck up.” Reflect on your actions.When it comes to leadership, knowledge isn’tpower. Only applied knowledge is power.

Jim Clemmer

At home or in the workplace, change is an

inevitable fact of life. How we choose to respond

to it — as leaders or as followers — determines

our personal and professional growth.

The Way of the Leader

11

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T A K I N G C O N T R O L

All things change, nothing is extinguished. . . .

There is nothing in the whole world which is permanent.

Everything flows onward; all things are brought into

being with a changing nature; the ages themselves

glide by in constant movement.

Ovid, Roman poet (43 B.C. – A.D. 17)

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12 T H E W A Y O F T H E L E A D E R

CHANGE HAPPENS. And while we can’t controlmuch of the world changing around us, we cancontrol how we respond.

We can choose to anticipate and embrace changesor resist them. Resisting change is usually liketrying to push water upstream. Generally we’requick to point to others who resist change. It’smuch harder to recognize or admit to our ownchange resistance.

Searching for stability and predictability can beone way we resist change. Stability is when every-thing is settled. It’s when little new can happen tome. But that means there’s no growth, no develop-ment, no exciting new gains that might resultfrom unexpected pains. A condition of pre-dictability and stability is the denial of life. It alsomeans that the faster the world changes aroundme, the more likely I am to become a victim ofthe changes I am trying to deny.

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the worldas we are. If I am an unchanging stability seekerwho just wants to maintain the status quo, mostchange is a threat. If we’re constantly seeking newchallenges and opportunities to grow, mostchanges are an opportunity.

Some people call change progress and celebratethe improvements that it brings. Others cursethose same changes and long for the good olddays. Same changes, different responses.

The choice is ours: We can be leaders or we canbe followers.

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T H E W A Y O F T H E L E A D E R 13

C L E A R A L T E R N A T I V E S

George was 53 when hehad his first attack. He’dsmoked for almost 40years, was badly over-

weight, had an extremely high-fat diet, and handled stress poor-ly. This warning shocked him intojoining a smoking-cessation pro-gram. George and his wife alsolearned about healthy eating andimproved their diets. Within afew months, he’d lost his hugestomach, was very cheerful, andfull of new energy.

He was a changed man.

But slowly the memory of his bigscare faded. He started havingjust a cigarette or two. Hisbetween-meal snacks turned intohigh-fat meals. As his healthdeteriorated and his mood black-ened, he needed more cigarettesand food to cheer him up. By thetime he approached his 59thbirthday, he had convinced him-self that he’d never had a heartattack.

S

That Christmas his family ques-tioned George’s return to his olddestructive habits. They beggedhim to return to a healthierlifestyle. George defended hisovereating and smoking by say-ing, “If I can’t live the way I want,then life’s not worth living.”Three months later he had amassive heart attack and died.

He chose not to change. So hewas changed.

SOME CHANGES APPEAR UNEXPECTEDLY as a suddencrisis. An accident, act of violence, death, or natural disaster may come out of nowhere to hitus when we least expect (or deserve) it. But mostcrisis points come with warning signs — if wechoose to see them.

There are two kinds of people — those

who are changing and those who are setting

themselves up to be victims of change.

Change or Be ChangedEvery moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating

into less. One is always living a little more or dying a little bit.

Norman Mailer


MMANY “SUDDEN CHANGES” ARE really the next bigstep in a series of activities that we may havehelped to create or allowed to continue. Thesechanges may be the result of our failure to changeour habits, lifestyle, growth patterns, or skills.

UNLESS A CRISIS ACTUALLY kills us (often it just feelslike it will), it’s an opportunity for us to change.It’s a chance to choose a new path.

But those change choices are seldom easy.Sometimes I can be like one of those old spring-powered pocket watches: I have to be shaken hardto get me going. However, when we choose theroad less traveled, we’ll reflect back years laterand say that, while we wouldn’t want to livethrough the pain again, it was nevertheless animportant turning point. It was one of the bestthings that happened to us. It seasoned andstrengthened us.

Responsiveness to change is as important to organizations as it is to people. There are twokinds of organizations in today’s world: those thatare changing and those that are going out of busi-ness. The business and government graveyard isfilled with the corpses of organizations that failedto respond to inevitable changes.

Similarly, there are also two kinds of people: thosewho are changing and those who are settingthemselves up to be victims of change. As theworld continues to march on around us, if I amonly maintaining the status quo — if I’m notgrowing — then I’m falling behind.

After he lost his job, aproduction worker at amanufacturing plant saidhe could “see the writing

on the wall” four years ago whenthe company set up a flexiblemanufacturing pilot project toexperiment with how to automatehis circuit-board assembly task,among other jobs.

So what did he do during thattime? Curse, pray, and organizehis co-workers to decry howunfair things were? Did he tryupgrading his skills while the“writing was on the wall”? He satand waited for four years to havehis fate decided for him. He chosenot to change — so he waschanged.

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GROWING AT THE SPEED OF CHANGEWhat is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.

No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand

still a year. It grows — it must grow; nothing can prevent it.

Mark Twain

IF THE RATE OF external change exceeds our rate ofinternal growth, we’re eventually going to be changed.The “ghost of crisis yet to come,” similar to the thirdspirit that visited Ebenezer Scrooge in A ChristmasCarol, is also as predictable. If I am a static personwho hasn’t developed the habits of personal growthand continuous development, I may become a statis-tic. “Sudden” change will catch me by surprise.

We were meant to grow. When we don’t grow, weseek diversions — some harmless (if unproduc-tive), others destructive — to fill the emptiness.

Continual growth prepares us for change. Andpreparing for change is like preparing for finalexams. We know they’re coming well in advance;with good preparation and daily discipline, there’sno need to cram for the big event.

CHARLES DARWIN WAS A 19th-century British naturalist who revolutionized the study of biologywith his theory of evolution based on natural selec-tion. His most famous works include The Origin ofSpecies and The Descent of Man. One of his keyresearch findings was that “it is not the strongest ofthe species that survives, nor the most intelligent; itis the one that is most adaptable to change.”

Learning and personal growth are at the heart ofan individual’s or organization’s ability to adapt toa rapidly changing environment. The key ques-tion is, “Does our rate of internal growth exceedthe rate of external change?”

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W I N N I N G W A Y S


Whether in the context of family, community,

or organization, leaders are defined by their

action — not their position.

What is Leadership?For what we’ve discovered, and rediscovered, is that leadership isn’t the private

reserve of a few charismatic men and women. It’s a process ordinary

people use when they’re bringing forth the best from themselves and others.

Liberate the leader in everyone, and extraordinary things happen.

James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, The Leadership Challenge: How to Keep Getting Extraordinary Things Done in Organizations

LEADERSHIP IS A VERB, not a noun. Leadership is action, not a position. Leadershipis defined by what we do, not the role we are in. Some people in “leadershiproles” are excellent leaders. But too many are bosses, “snoopervisors,” tech-nocrats, “technomanagers,” bureaucrats, managers, commanders, chiefs, and thelike. Conversely, many people who do not have formal leadership roles are excel-lent leaders. In today’s fast changing world, we all need to be leaders.

To lead is to show the way by going in advance. To lead is to guide or direct acourse of action. To lead is to influence the behavior or opinion of others. Weall need to be leaders, regardless of our formal title or role. This starts withinner self-leadership and moves outward to influence, guide, support, andlead others. The process of becoming a leader is the same as the process ofbecoming a highly effective human being. Leadership development is ulti-mately personal development. Leadership ultimately shows itself in what wedo “out there.” But it starts “in here.” It’s something that we are, which thendrives what we do.

This is a leadership book. But it’s not a book aimed just at those people withroles and titles such as manager, supervisor, executive, and the like. Thisbook is about developing the leader within all of us. We’ll explore the keyelements to leading ourselves and others in our families, communities, socialcircles, or organizations.

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THE MORE THE WORLD CHANGES, THE MORE

LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES STAY THE SAMEThere are no new truths, but only truths that have not been recognized by those

who have perceived them without noticing. A truth is something that everybody

can be shown to know and to have known, as people say, all along.

Mary McCarthy, author and critic

Iwrite these words as I sit inthe office/study of my “elec-tronic cottage.” One of thereasons I love our home is

because it straddles the past andthe future. The front of our houselooks out upon a typical subur-ban street with a mixture of split-levels, bungalows, and two-storeyhomes.

Our house is wired for business(when the kids are excited, it’sjust wired). Our personal comput-er and printer in the kid’s base-ment room is networked with mynotebook computer, printers, andour other main office computerson the third floor. We have sixphone lines that enable us tooperate The CLEMMER Groupthrough phone calls, faxes, e-mail, and internet access.

My office/study looks over myperennial garden in our backyardand across a river valley to the“Pioneer Tower” — erected tomark the site of the first settle-ment in this area almost 200years ago. Among these settlerswere my own ancestors. Theycleared the forests and broke thesoil for the first farms that builtthis community. Horses still run inthe hillside field that rises fromthe tower on the river bank to thefarm yard.

But the more things change, themore they really do stay thesame. Those settlers were power-ful leaders. The principles thatboth drove and guided their livescenturies ago are just as relevanttoday. They faced up to toughchoices. They lived their values.They followed their dreams. Theylearned and adapted. They mobi-lized others to build a strongcommunity. They persisted in the

face of many heart-breaking disasters. They committed theirlives to a greater cause.

The reasons for their successesand failures are the same onesthat determine ours today.Today’s tools have changed andour society is organized different-ly. But the human habits andcharacteristics that determine oursuccess with today’s tools andsociety haven’t changed. Ourorganizing systems, technologies,and the type of work we dochange. But people are still peo-ple. The human elements guidingour behavior are consistent.

Leadership principles are time-less. They apply to all of us, nomatter what role we play in soci-ety or organizations. It’s thosevery personal and universal lead-ership principles that this book isall about.

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M O D E L S O F B E I N G


From the center of our being,

we grow the distance in six critical areas

of personal development.

Inside OutThe world can doubtless never be well known by theory:

practice is absolutely necessary; but surely it is of great use to a young man,

before he sets out for that country, full of mazes, windings, and turnings,

to have at least a general map of it, made by some experienced traveler.

Lord Chesterfield, English statesman,The Letters of the Earl of Chesterfield to His Son

WOULDN’T IT BE EASY if we could all become leaders by following a simplesequence of steps? But the journey of personal growth means finding ourown way. That’s a big part of what leadership is. Life isn’t one-dimensional,and neither is the process by which we grow and enrich our lives. That’s whymy firm, after many years of personal and leadership development work, hasrefined the following leadership model.

Growingand

Developing

Mobilizingand

Energizing

Responsibilityfor

Choices

Focusand

Context

Spiritand

Meaning

Authenticity

Passion and

Commitment

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THERE ARE SEVERAL REASONS why we decided torepresent the key elements of leadership in thishub-and-spoke model. One is that the growthprocess is centered at the hub (the “core of mybeing”) and works outward through a variety ofdifferent paths or “spokes.” The other reason isthat no one path is, in itself, more important thananother. And each depends on the other to com-plete the whole.

The leadership “wheel” formed by the hub andspokes is also circular; it has no beginning or end.It is an endless journey of self-discovery and con-tinuous personal growth.

The distance we need to grow along each path (orleadership dimension) will differ for each of us.Some people will have greater “growing dis-tances” for certain elements, but not for others.The goal, of course, is to grow as much as possi-ble along all paths.

And just as the cows on the farm where I grew upnever stayed milked, our growth in any of thesepaths is never done. Defining and continuallygrowing our distance is the way of the leader.

The heart of this book is the next seven chapters.Each chapter is written around one of the elementsin our leadership framework. The core theme ofGrowing the Distance is that strong leaders are well-rounded and constantly expanding their personal“leadership wheel” across these key areas:

• Focus and Context. THE CORE OF MY BEING:Seeing beyond what is and getting out of my“reality rut” by seeing what could be, seeingand responding to the world as I am, clarifyingwhy I am here, and shaping my family, team,or organization’s context and culture.


• Responsibility for Choices. IF IT’S TO BE, IT’S UP

TO ME: Realizing that life accumulates, thatchoice more than chance determines my cir-cumstance, and refusing to succumb to thehighly infectious “Victimitis Virus” (“it’s alltheir fault” and “there’s nothing I can do”)while helping others battle this paralyzingaffliction.

• Authenticity. GETTING REAL: Changing me tochange them, ringing true to who I am throughexploring inner space, and gathering feedbackon my personal behavior for consistency withmy stated values and priorities.

• Passion and Commitment. BEYOND NEAR-LIFE

EXPERIENCES: Overcoming apathy and cynicism,developing a burning commitment to ourcause, moving past the path of least persis-tence, deepening our discipline, and hardeningour habits.

• Spirit and Meaning. WITH ALL MY HEART AND

SOUL: Moving beyond ways of doing things todeeper levels of being by leading from myheart and being a purposeful leader who makesmeaning for others.

• Growing and Developing. FROM PHASE OF LIFE

TO WAY OF LIFE: Going beyond the stagnation ofstability and change management to continu-ous growth by cultivating the learning habit, R & R (reflection and renewal), experimentingand active learning, and developing people intowhat they could be.

• Mobilizing and Energizing. PUTTING EMOTIONS

IN MOTION: Moving beyond manipulative motivational programs to deeper and morelasting sources of energy and power by creatinghigh-energy environments, improving commu-nication skills, harnessing the power ofachievement, and building teams.

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BLAZING OUR OWN PERSONAL LEADERSHIP PATHThe future is not some place we are going, but one we are creating.

The paths to it are not found but made, and the activity of making them

changes both the maker and the destination.

John Schaar, American sociologist

IN 1985, WHEN I was writing my first book on leadership (The VIP Strategy), Idiscovered there were nearly 3,000 Ph.D. theses on leadership in Americanuniversity libraries — and probably as many books. Today, there’s probablytwo or three times that number.

Why so many? One of the reasons for all the different leadership models, formulas, advice, etc. is that when we talk about leadership we’re talkingabout a way of being. With billions of people in this world, there are billionsof ways of being. The leadership journey is about blazing our own pathwayever upward and outward toward who we are and the life of our dreams.

In my experience, many of the people who want “practical ideas” and concrete steps to improve their leadership skills are really looking for some-one to give them the answers. They want the magic solution or quick-and-easy program. They are looking for a better way of doing things.

But leadership is first and foremost a way of being — one that shows up inhow we do things. There are no formulas or shortcuts to being a better andbetter person. Leadership is a journey of personal discovery and learning.While we can pick up valuable travel tips from others who’ve been downtheir own personal pathways, it’s a never-ending process of continuouslysearching for and blazing our own path.

So let’s get started...


GROWING POINTS• Change happens. There are two kinds of

organizations in today’s world: those that arechanging and those that are going out of business. There are also two kinds of people:those who are changing and those who are setting themselves up to be victims of change.

• Change can’t be managed. If the rate of external change exceeds our rate of internalgrowth, we’re eventually going to be changed.Learning and personal growth are at the heartof an organization’s or individual’s ability toadapt to a rapidly changing environment.

• Leadership is a verb, not a noun. Leadership isaction, not a position. Leadership is defined bywhat we do, not the role we’re in. Leadershipdevelopment is ultimately personal development.

• Today’s tools have changed and our society isorganized differently. But the human habits andcharacteristics that determine our success withtoday’s tools and society haven’t changed. Thehuman elements guiding our behavior are consistent. Leadership principles are timeless.

• There are no leadership formulas. Leadership isa journey of personal discovery and learning.While we can pick up valuable travel tips fromothers who’ve been down their own personalpathways, we can only blaze our own pathwaysto peak performance.

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T H E C O R E O F M Y B E I N G

What is my vision? What are my values? What

is the purpose of my life? These questions are

at the center of our lives — and provide our

Focus andContext

How can you get very far,

If you don’t know Who You Are?

How can you do what you ought,

If you don’t know What You’ve Got?

And if you don’t know Which to Do

Of all the things in front of you,

Then what you’ll have when you are through

Is just a mess without a clue

All the best can come true

If you know What and Which and Who.

Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

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24 F O C U S A N D C O N T E X T

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Apig got out his pen andwandered through anestate down the countryroad. He went behind the

stables and wallowed in a hugemud puddle. He then rummagedand ate his way through a com-post heap and garbage bins nearthe manor house. Since there wasno one around, he wanderedthrough the courtyards and estategrounds sniffing the dirt androoting through some of thebeautifully manicured lawns andwell-kept gardens.

When he finally returned to hisfarmyard, the hens eagerly askedfor a report. “What did you seethrough the windows of the hugemansion?” they asked. “We’veheard there are stately rooms,tapestries, fine furniture, beauti-ful paintings by the masters, andgold and silver everywhere.”

“I saw nothing like that,” snortedthe pig. “There was only mud,rot, garbage, and dirt everywhereI looked.”

WE FIND WHAT WE focus upon. Whether I thinkmy world is full of richness and opportunity orgarbage and despair — I am right. It’s exactly likethat. Because that’s my point of focus. By focusingthere, I turn my expectations into reality.

My focus is intertwined with the context of mylife. That context is set by the people I associatewith, my discipline and habits, my perceptions of“reality,” my optimistic or pessimistic outlook,whether I see change as a threat or opportunity,the responsibility I take for my choices, my senseof who I am, my authenticity, my passion andcommitment, my spirit and purpose, my personalgrowth and development, and how I energizemyself and others.

VF O C U S A N D C O N T E X T 25

Our Focus and Context is shaped by three vitalquestions:

• Where am I going? (my vision or picture of mypreferred future)

• What do I believe in? (my principles or values)and

• Why do I exist? (my purpose or mission)

These questions are at the center of our lives.They are central to our taking responsibility forchoices, our authenticity, our passion and com-mitment, our spirit and meaning, our growth anddevelopment, and our ability to energize andmobilize others. Because they are at the core orhub of our being, we put Focus and Context atthe center of our leadership wheel (see page 18).

VISION IS COMPRISED OF values projected into thefuture. Both flow from our purpose. Vision, values,and purpose are interconnected and inseparable.Sometimes they operate like a combination lock —each twist and turn of the dial doesn’t appear to domuch, but when they are all lined up, the futurewe dare to dream of clicks open.

Another way to think of the Focus and Context ofour lives is like a powerful magnet that attractsthe positive or negative people, circumstances,and events. Like other natural laws (such as grav-ity), the law of magnetic attraction is being ful-filled today whether I am aware of it or not. I can-not change the law of magnetic attraction, but Ican change the magnet. So if I want to changewhat’s being attracted to me, I need to change themagnet and the magnetic field with which I’vesurrounded myself.

Look at the last five years. Have you attracted thepeople, circumstances, and events that you want?If not, now is the time to change what you aredrawing toward yourself over the next five years.

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Denise felt blessed to be living insuch abundant and excitingtimes. Occasionally she’d clip anewspaper item about studiesthat showed how prosperity,health, crime, and other indica-tors of society’s progress havebeen steadily improving throughthe decades.

At work, Denise didn’t alwaysagree with management’s deci-sions, but she tried to understandand support the direction inwhich they were taking the orga-nization. In meetings, she was anidealist who tried to encouragethe team toward breakthroughthinking. When the team startedcomplaining or feeling over-whelmed by problems, she’doften say “let’s not get stuck inthe past,” “we’re bigger than thisproblem,” “let’s stretch our think-ing,” or “just imagine if wecould….”

W H A T W E S E E I S W H A T W E G E T

Seeing only what is — instead

of what could be — can get us

stuck in our own “reality rut.”

VisionThere’s only one way out of a bad situation, and that’s to stop

believing in it. Don’t make it real and it disappears.

Dan Cavicchio, Gardens from the Sand: A Story About Looking for Answers and Finding Miracles

Two views of reality

Joel was a realist. He pridedhimself in being practicaland “down to earth.” Hewas very skeptical about

new ideas that changed his viewof the world. “You’ll have toprove it to me,” he’d often say tohis family or co-workers; “I’llbelieve it when I see it.” Hebelieved that kids today werelazy, sloppy, and untrustworthy.

Reading the newspaper after sup-per, he’d finish a story aboutsome horrible crime or new vio-lence with another comment onhis pet theory that society was ona slippery slope of sin anddestruction.

At work, Joel often made cynicaljokes about the stupidity of man-agement and the direction theywere trying to move the organi-zation. In meetings, he was an“abominable no man” who shotdown most new ideas. “Get yourhead out of the clouds,” he’d


snap scornfully. Then he’d prickthe idea bubble with a dart like“that’s never been done before”or “they’d never go for that” or“you’re not living in the realworld” or “that’s impossible.”

Denise was a dreamer.She loved to explorepossibilities and try outnew ideas. Change was

exciting because she saw it asrenewal. It was a chance to“clean out yesterday’s dirt andcobwebs and start fresh.” Herfriends and family (at least theless critical or jealous ones) oftencommented on how polite,responsible, and caring her kidswere. This meshed with Denise’sbelief that today’s kids are gen-erally a little more mature andadvanced than in her ownyounger years.

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F O C U S A N D C O N T E X T 27

WHO’S LIVING IN THE “real world?” Of course, theyboth are.

Joel and Denise are creating their own reality.They can both say, “See, I told you that wouldhappen.” But Denise is one of those rare, forward-thinking people — a leader who recognizes thateverything we now take for granted in our dailylives was once the product of someone’s fertileimagination. When flight, telephones, automo-biles, or computers were first proposed, most peo-ple, like Joel, scoffed. They said these ideas werefanciful, impossible, silly, useless toys, or evendeadly. And after these innovations became widelyaccepted, the scoffers viewed them simply asinevitable extensions of some other technology.

Joel is one such scoffer, and he’s firmly stuck inhis reality rut. He’s so narrow-minded he couldsee through a key hole with both eyes. Joelexpects nothing and is rarely disappointed. He isthe kind of cynic author Ambrose Bierce oncedefined as a “blackguard whose faulty vision seesthings as they are, not as they ought to be.” Hecan’t see tomorrow’s possibilities just over thehorizon because his head is down and focused ontoday’s problems.

Research shows that Joel’s chances of sickness anddisease, depression, relationship problems, careerstagnation, parental challenges, and energy lossare much higher than Denise’s. He is creating thereality his vision is focused upon. The context ofhis values and purpose are creating the life hebelieves in.

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YIELD OF DREAMSTake time to dream! In each creative mind a dream takes wings and

moves in graceful flow until it permeates the soul in relentless and persistent

longing. The dream keeps urging “It could be.” It won’t let go ’til

the dreamer heeds and shapes it into reality.

Anonymous

In the early 1950s, FlorenceChadwick became the firstwoman to swim the EnglishChannel in both directions. On

her first attempt, she had beenswimming for hours and was get-ting very near to the English coast.That’s when the seas turned muchcolder and heavy swells devel-oped. A dense fog settled in,blocking everything from viewwith a chilly, wet blanket.

As Florence’s pace slowed andenergy drained, her mothercalled through the fog from oneof the small boats followingbehind, “Come on, Florence, youcan make it. It’s only a little fur-ther.” But she was exhausted andcouldn’t go any further. As sheslumped into the boat, Florencefelt defeated and was heartbro-ken when she realized how closeshe’d come. Later she told themedia, “I am not offering excus-es, but I think I could have madeit if I had been able to see mygoal.” On her next attempt,Florence developed a powerfulmental image of the coast ofEngland. She memorized everycoastal feature and replayedthose images again and again inher mind. This time she encoun-tered the same discouraging con-ditions as before. But her visionsaw her through to success.


Carl Hiebert also used visioning to reach his goal of being the firstperson to fly an ultralight aircraft across Canada during Expo ’86 inVancouver. It took him five years of planning and preparation. The58-day adventure was marked by an emergency crash landing,

severe weather, and numerous other natural and human-made challenges.

Here’s how Carl describes the key role vision played in his unprecedentedachievement:

“As the pavilions of the World’s Fair became visible, I was surprised byhow familiar they looked... then it struck me. I had seen this view manytimes through the process of visualization... I had pasted a photograph ofmy ultralight in the sky just above the cluster of pavilions, and almostevery day, for the next twelve months, I had spent a few minutes staringat that picture, imaging myself arriving safely at Expo. Visualizing my vic-torious arrival had become the proverbial carrot hung just beyond thedoubts and difficulties. It had been the incentive I needed to stay with mycommitment.”

T

AA BIG PART OF Florence and Carl’s extraordinaryachievements came from their ability to tap intothe mighty power of vision.

They aren’t alone. In the last few decades, exten-sive research on peak performance, leadership,personal effectiveness, adaptability to change, theabilities of world-class athletes — even the heal-ing process — clearly shows the central rolevision plays in success.

Most organizations, social movements, worldrecords, new products or services, and remarkableachievements began as the product of someone’simagination. That person had an idea, the realiza-tion of which turned into a dream. The power ofthat dream grew even as the dreamer was beingridiculed and told to “get real.”

In 1924, Thomas Watson Sr.was heavily in debt when hecame home one evening andproudly announced that his

struggling Computing-Tabulating-Recording Company would nowbe called International BusinessMachines (IBM). Hearing this, his10 year-old son, who laterbecame a key figure in IBM’sgrowth, “stood in the doorway ofthe living room thinking, ‘Thatlittle outfit?’”


COUPLED WITH DISCIPLINED ACTION, dreams becomea magnetized vision that attracts the people,events, and circumstances needed to achieve thebreakthrough. The Joels of this world cynicallydismiss it all as “luck.”

THE WORD VISION COMES from the Latin root mean-ing “to see.” What we see depends upon wherewe look — our focus. A dream or vision is one ofthe most powerful forces in the universe. Like anymighty energy, our visions can help or hurt usbecause they become self-fulfilling prophecies.

If we see ourselves as helpless victims of change,that’s exactly what we’ll be. If our attitude is“same old crap, different day,” we’ll get what weasked for. If we don’t talk to ourselves because wedon’t like to deal with such a low class of person,our poor self-image won’t improve. If we focus onthe thieves, liars, and idiots all around us, we’llmiss the saints that walk among us.

Alittle girl, riding in thefront seat of the carbeside her mother, asked“Where are all the stupid

jerks today?” Her mother replied,“They only come out when yourfather’s driving.”


OIF WE SEE LITTLE but frustration, dead ends, andcareer or family traps in our future, that’s wherewe’re headed. A skeptical “realist” like Joel livesby the philosophy, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” A dreamer like Denise harnesses the vision forceand successfully moves through life knowing, “I’llsee it when I believe it.”

Being all that we can seeOUR VISION OR IMAGINATION is the center point thatfocuses and guides our choices, authenticity, passion, spirit, growth and development, andenergy. The remarkable blind and deaf author,Helen Keller, once said, “Nothing is more tragicthan someone who has sight, but no vision.”

We can’t leave the incredible magnetic power ofvision unharnessed. Left on their own, ourthoughts often pull us toward the reasons why wecan’t succeed rather than the many reasons wecan. To increase our effectiveness, we need toactively and consciously attract into our liveswhat we truly want. We need to ensure the pic-ture of our future is what we prefer, not the darkimages of our fears, doubts, and insecurities thatwill then come true. Personal, team, or organiza-tional improvement starts with “imagineering.”

TRADITIONALLY, MANY NATIVE CANADIAN andAmerican peoples have embarked on a visionquest as part of their passage from puberty. Thistypically involved a period of isolation, fasting,and meditating on an inward journey of discov-ery. The goal was greater insight on life’s meaningand purpose for the person on the quest.

Likewise, the success, happiness, and harmonywe see in our own lives depends heavily on theclarity of our vision. Rather than a one-timeevent, a lifelong vision quest provides a powerfulfocus and context in our personal, team, andorganizational lives.

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S E E I N G W H A T W E B E L I E V E

Clarity of vision depends on

knowing what’s really important.

ValuesThere is no objective reality.

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.

Anonymous

Sean was filling out a uni-versity questionnaire tohelp determine roommatecompatibility. Beside the

questions, “Do you make yourbed every day?” and “Do youconsider yourself a neat person?”he checked “Yes.” Later hismother reviewed the question-naire. Knowing those answerswere far from the truth, sheasked Sean why he’d lied. “Whatdo you expect me to do?” heretorted. “I don’t want to getstuck living with some slob!”


THE GAP BETWEEN WHAT we say we value and howwe live can get pretty big. Many people don’t tryto do what’s right; they try to guess what otherpeople think is right. For example, when some-one says it’s not about the money, but the princi-ple of the thing, it’s usually about the money. Themanager of a large bookstore once told me thatthe book they have stolen the most is the Bible.

Hypocrites climb the social, organizational, orcareer ladder wrong by wrong, all the while tryingto justify, excuse, or disguise their behavior. LikeMae West in Klondike Annie, when choosingbetween two evils, they pick the one they haven’ttried before.

Hypocrisy is largely an exercise in self-deception.When our acts don’t mesh with our words, we arenot being true to ourselves. We are not authentic.

Lack of authenticity often stems from a failure torecognize the values or beliefs that are really atthe core of who we are. When we’re not centeredwith a solid core, we often perceive change as athreat. It’s also harder to accumulate the positivechoices that vaccinate us against the VictimitisVirus and keep us from living in Pity City.

O❝❝

Without a strong set of core values, passion isweak and commitment is soft. We’re more likelyto lead our lives from the outside in, rather thanthe inside out. A centered leader grows his or herinner space and provides spirit and meaning toothers.

When our values aren’t in focus, our energy iseasily scattered. That makes it tougher to mobi-lize ourselves — never mind anyone else. Corevalues provide a context for continuous growthand development that takes us toward ourdreams. Our core values project forward tobecome our vision. How we see the world is whatwe project from ourselves.

OUR INNER SELVES REVEALEDIt is always easier to fight for

one’s principles than to live up to them.

Alfred Adler, Austrian psychiatrist

OUR CORE VALUES SHOW themselves in many ways.One is at points of crisis, disaster, or adversity.That’s often when our actions move us uncon-sciously from the depth of our heart. Any maskswe may be wearing are torn off to reveal our trueface.

Money is often another powerful way a person’score essence is revealed to him or herself and/orothers. It’s amazing to hear some people proclaimfamily values and then trash their “loved ones”over an inheritance. Greed is responsible for somemighty creative rationalizations. It’s great to havemoney and the good life that money can buy. Butwe need to ensure that we haven’t lost the invalu-able things that money can’t buy.



REVELATION 1: Our self-worth

The 18th-century Scottishpoet and songwriterRobert Burns was standingon the waterfront at

Greenock. Suddenly a wealthymerchant from the town fell intothe harbor. He couldn’t swim andwas quickly drowning. A passingsailor immediately jumped intothe dangerous waters and res-cued him. When the merchantwas back on the dock, and herecovered from his fright, he puthis hand into his pocket andrewarded the sailor with ashilling. A few people in thecrowd that had collected to watchthe drama unfold shouted con-temptuous jeers over the punyfee being given to the sailor. ButBurns, with a scornful smile,asked them to restrain theirclamor. “The gentleman,” saidthe poet, “is of course the bestjudge of the value of his ownlife.”

Aworkaholic husband wason his way to work onemorning. As he headedout the door, his wife

said, “Harold, don’t forget, themovers are coming today. Don’tcome back here after work.”

“Who do you think I am,Dorothy?” he replied. “Don’t youthink I can remember that?”

After work, Harold, who hadbeen absorbed in an endlessnumber of hectic business detailsduring the day, rushed home to

IIN GOING DEEP, IAN PERCY writes, “Most businesspeople I know are much more concerned with thequality of their customer service than they arewith the quality of their parenting and spousing.”One of the executives of my firm once acted as aconsultant to a highly successful company wherethe executives proudly declared they had thehighest divorce rate of any major corporation inAmerica. Many wore their divorces as a badge ofhonor to show their commitment to the company.

Yet these executives had failed to ask themselvesan important question: When the company sud-denly tosses them aside or they reach retirement,will they be so sure that career success is worththe cost of a broken family? Does this trade-offreally represent their core values?

his old house. Seeing the emptyhouse as he pulled in the drive-way, he suddenly remembered— and panicked. Stopping a boywho was riding his bicycle on thesidewalk, Harold asked, “Do youknow the people that lived here?”

“Of course I do,” replied the boy.

“Do you know where theymoved?”

Disgustedly, the boy said, “Aw,come on Dad. Mom was rightafter all. She told me you’d forget!”

REVELATION 2: Balancing work and family

❝❝


TELLING ON OURSELVESAbout morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good

after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.

Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon

James Allen’s poem is a powerful description ofhow our actions reveal our core values:

YOU TELL ON YOURSELFYou tell on yourself by the friends you seek

By the manner in which you speak

By the way you employ your leisure time

By the use you make of dollar and dime

You tell what you are by the things you wear

By the spirit in which your burdens bear

By the kind of things at which you laugh

By the records you play on the phonograph

You tell what you are by the way you walk

By the things of which you delight to talk

By the manner in which you bear defeat

By so simple a thing as how you eat

By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf

In these ways and more, you tell on yourself.

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W H A T I T ’ S A L L A B O U T

Why are we here? The answer reflects

our values and focuses our vision.

PurposeOne’s prime is elusive. You little girls, when you grow up,

must be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time

of your life it may occur. You must then live it to the full.

Miss Brodie, in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, by British novelist Muriel Spark

Three women are killedin a car crash on theway home from a week-end excursion. Their

souls are immediately whiskedoff to heaven to for an orienta-tion session. Each one wasasked, “When you are in yourcasket and friends and familyare mourning your death, whatwould you like to hear themsay about you?”

The first woman said, “I’d liketo hear them say that I was agreat entrepreneur and a ter-rific mother.”

The second woman responded,“I would like to hear that I wasa wonderful wife and schoolteacher who made a huge dif-ference in our children oftomorrow.”

The last woman replied, “Iwould love to hear them say...look, she’s moving!”


AA POWERFUL WAY TO uncover or strengthen oursense of purpose is to think through what we’dlike to be able to say our life stood for when it’sall over. The answer to that question reflects ourvalues and focuses our vision for whatever yearswe do have left.

Mohammed believed that “a man’s true wealth here-after, is the good he does in this world to his fellowman. When he dies, people will say, ‘What propertyhas he left behind him?’ but the angels will ask,‘What good deeds has he sent before him?’”

ONE OF MY FAVORITE annual Christmas-season rituals is to watch the movie It’s a Wonderful Life,starring a young Jimmy Stewart as the hero, GeorgeBailey. It’s a 1930s classic that tells a very com-pelling story about making a difference in the livesof many others. Years ago I first rented the videoafter reading that a judge ordered someone whohad tried to commit suicide to watch the movie.

FFOR THOSE OF YOU who haven’t seen the movie, thestory centers on George Bailey, a young man whodreams of leaving the small town of Bedford Falls tosee the world. Instead, personal and family dutieskeep him at home, where he becomes a reluctantcommunity leader. Years later, frustrated by a sense offailure that culminates in a personal financial crisis,George is about to jump off a bridge so his family cancollect on his life insurance policy, only to be rescuedby Clarence, George’s guardian angel. In response toGeorge’s bitter declaration that it would be better if hehad never been born, Clarence shows him that lifewould have been much poorer — for his family,friends, and even complete strangers whose lives hehad touched. In true movie fashion, George joyfullyreturns to his real life, and the financial crisis isresolved by grateful friends and family.

It’s a Wonderful Life raises important questions. Whatvoids have I filled? Whose lives have I touched? Whohave I yet to touch? What bad things would havehappened if I were not here? What would I want thekey players in my life to say my life stood for or thedifference I made? Who would those key players be?What have our lives made visible to others that, with-out us, would not have been seen?

Purpose is the third key element of our focus andcontext. It is tightly intertwined with — and of equalimportance to — values and vision. All three strandswork together to provide the texture and focal pointof our lives, whether at home or in the workplace.The stronger our sense of purpose or mission, thestronger our energy, passion, and commitment.

Many people who’ve studied or thought deeply aboutwhat makes strong leaders have come to the sameconclusion as Benjamin Disraeli when he wrote, “Ihave brought myself, by long meditation, to the con-viction that a human being with a settled purposemust accomplish it, and that nothing can resist a willwhich will stake even existence upon its fulfillment.”


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WF O C U S A N D C O N T E X T 37

When Geoff came home late from work again, his eight-year-olddaughter Tiffany was waiting for him at the door. As he walkedinto the kitchen, Tiffany asked, “How much do you make anhour, daddy?” Tired and stressed out, Geoff was angry with the

question. “That’s none of your business!” he replied.

But Tiffany was persistent. “Please daddy, tell me; how much do youmake an hour.”

“All right,” Geoff snapped, “I make $20 an hour.” Then Tiffany asked,“Daddy, can I borrow $10?”

“Forget it,” Geoff barked as he stormed out of the room.

Later that evening, Geoff was feeling badly about the way he had treatedhis daughter. So he went up to her room where he found a teary-eyedTiffany still wide awake. Pulling a ten-dollar bill from his pocket, Geoffsat on the side of her bed and tenderly gave it to her. Tiffany smiledweakly and took a handful of crumpled bills and coins from the drawer inher night stand. Handing it all to Geoff, she said excitedly, “Thanks, now I have $20! Can I buy an hour of your time tomorrow, daddy?”

WHAT’S REALLY IMPORTANTHe who has no mission in life is the poorest of all.

Albert Schweitzer

The legendary inventorThomas Edison had justcome through a period ofexceptionally hard work

and even longer hours than nor-mal. At dinner his wife said,“You’ve been working too hardwith no breaks. You need a vaca-tion.” “But where would I go?” heasked her. “Think about whereyou’d rather be than any otherplace on earth,” she replied.Edison thought for a fewmoments then said, “All right, I’llgo tomorrow morning.” The nextday he was back to work in hislaboratory.

WHAT ARE WE TO make of these stories? Edisonclearly found purpose in his work. In fact, it wasn’t work; it was his life’s calling. Geoff, on theother hand, may have found the same fulfillmentfrom his work. Yet both pursued their purpose tothe exclusion of other things in their lives. It’stempting to judge such single-mindedness harsh-ly, but we need to respect everyone’s right to makechoices according to their personal core valuesand unique purpose.

The real danger comes from acting without pur-pose. If we’re not leading a purposeful life, it’seasy to drift aimlessly and become trapped in ourown “misery-series.”

F


People who want very little from life and enjoywhat they have can be wealthier than those whohave a lot, but always want much more. Andsome people who just let life happen to them endup enriched and fulfilled. But drifting to a richand full life is the exception. The most fulfilledlives are generally the most purposeful lives.

F A M I LY V A L U E S

FOR LEADERS WITH A strong sense of purpose, balancing the often conflicting needs of work andfamily is a major challenge. And as you may haveguessed by now, I have a strong bias in favor offamily values and purposeful parenting for peoplewho’ve chosen to have children.

Aside from powerful entrepreneurs or executiveswho build strong and lasting organizations, thelegacy of our parenting is one of the key ways wecan make a difference or mess up a lot of lives.The impact of our parental leadership lasts forgenerations — touching dozens, if not hundreds,of lives still to come.

That’s why I agree with Martin Baxbaum, whowrote: “You can use most any measure whenyou’re speaking of success. You can measure it infancy home, expensive car or dress. But the mea-sure of your real success is one you cannot spend— It’s the way your child describes you whentalking to a friend.”

For parents, I believe that a key measurement ofour wealth is the love and respect of our children.

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L E A D I N G O T H E R S

Effective leaders help to keep the people

around them connected and energized.

Shaping focus and contextThe historic period in which we live is a period of awakening to a

commitment to higher values, a reawakening of individual purpose,

and a reawakening of the longing to fulfill that purpose in life.

Robert Fritz, The Path of Least Resistance

Joel and Denise each ledfund-raising campaigns fortheir respective service cluband community agency.

Under another member’s leader-ship, Joel’s club had raised arecord amount in their last effort.Joel wasn’t sure they could comeclose to that level again. Butorganization was one of his realstrengths. Believing in “planningyour work and working yourplan,” Joel set targets and effi-ciently established roles andresponsibilities for each volunteerin his fund-raising group.

He gave crisp reports at eachmeeting filled with words like“outcome measurement” and“goal realization.” He pushedeveryone hard to meet their com-mitments. He developed recogni-tion programs with rewards andincentives for those donatingmoney and those collecting it. Heorganized rallies such as “Makinga Difference” days.

When the fund-raising campaignwas over, they fell just short oftheir target.

Denise knew that organi-zation was important.She recruited someonewith those skills to help

her manage the fund-raisingcampaign. She concentrated onconnecting the donors and volun-teers to the difference they weremaking in the lives of so manypeople in their community.

Drawing from her public speak-ing training, Denise loved to tellstories about how the money theyraised helped to support Lucy,who was blind, continue her edu-cation and find a job. Or she’dtalk about how Ralph and hisfamily used a counselling centerto find new hope and directionafter he lost his job from years ofpainful back problems.

At many meetings, she invitedthe people they were helping tocome in and tell their stories. Onesuch person, Susan, came to a

meeting and quietly told of howdrugs and alcohol led to horribleneglect and abuse of her three-year-old son. With the help of atreatment center funded byDenise’s agency, Susan was nowclean, sober, and graduatingshortly from a nursing school.There wasn’t a dry eye in theroom.

Throughout the fund-raisingcampaign, Denise constantlyreminded the group of theirvision to build a “caring commu-nity” and improving quality oflife for all. She kept referringback to their four “touchstonevalues” of CARE (Collaboration,Alliances, Respect, and Empathy).Donors, businesses, governmentagencies, and volunteers weremoved and energized. They weremaking a difference.

The fund-raising campaignexceeded its target.

WWHETHER IN OUR PERSONAL or business lives, it’seasy to become overly focused on tasks andresults. Within many organizations, progress andsuccess are gauged by tangible measures like volume, activity levels, revenues, or profits.Intangibles such as energy and focus are recog-nized as important, yet they often fade into thebackground.

In Pathfinders, Gail Sheehy writes: “My researchoffers impressive evidence that we feel betterwhen we attempt to make our world better… tohave purpose beyond one’s self lends to existencea meaning and direction — the most importantcharacteristic of well-being.”

Like a person who walks briskly into a room andthen forgets why, individuals, groups and organi-zations can lose sight of their purpose. So theyrun faster to make up for their lack of focus. Byfailing to take occasional detours from the dailygrind of the long journey to refocus, re-energize,and rejuvenate, everyone becomes worn downand less effective.

Leaders actively pay attention to the context andculture of their families, co-workers, or communi-ty groups. They ensure that vision, values, andpurpose are alive and at the center of focus.

Within an organization, this attention to contextand culture might involve keeping everyone intouch with, and connected to, whomever theorganization serves. It could mean keeping thelong-term vision front and center, especially whenproblems and obstacles look insurmountable. Itmight involve clarifying core values and usingthem as a fixed framework to guide and reinforceeveryone’s behavior.



It could also mean aligning an individual’s personal aspirations and goals with those of thegroup or organization. It might involve providingthe training or information to move the team’seffort forward. It could mean understanding anindividual’s needs and serving them so they canserve customers or partners.

Strong leaders shape their own team or organiza-tion’s Focus and Context (and that of their families, friends, and colleagues) through vision,values, and purpose. They help themselves andothers overcome problems and get out of “realityruts” by focusing on the possibilities. Strong leaders connect and energize people. They worktirelessly to ensure that no one loses sight of whatit’s all about.


GROWING POINTS• We find what we focus upon. Whether I think

my world is full of richness and opportunity orgarbage and despair — I am right. It’s exactlylike that. Because that’s my point of focus.

• Our Focus and Context is shaped by three vitalquestions: Where am I going? (my vision orpicture of my preferred future); What do Ibelieve in? (my principles or values); and,Why do I exist? (my purpose or mission).

• Visions are values projected into the future.Both flow from purpose. Vision, values, andpurpose are interconnected and inseparable.

• Extensive research in the last few decades onpeak performance, leadership, personal effec-tiveness, adaptability to change, world-classathletes, and even the healing process, clearlyshows the central role vision plays in success.

• Without a strong set of core values, we’re morelikely to lead our lives from the outside in,rather than the inside out. When our valuesaren’t in focus, our energy is easily scattered.

• The stronger our sense of purpose or mission,the stronger our energy, passion, and commit-ment. The most fulfilled lives are generally themost purposeful lives.

• Leaders actively pay attention to the contextand culture of their teams, families, or commu-nity groups. They ensure that spirit and mean-ing are alive and at the center of focus.

❝❝

43

When things go wrong, it’s easy to blame

others. Leaders take charge by accepting the

consequences of their actions.

Responsibilityfor Choices

Every day all of us make hundreds of choices,

most of them so menial and habitual that they are almost

as automatic as breathing. Those who live in unhappy failure

have never exercised their options for the better things of life

because they have never been aware that they had any choices.

Og Mandino, The Choice

I F I T ’ S T O B E , I T ’ S U P T O M E

A

44 R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y F O R C H O I C E S

ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR choices is notonly tough; in today’s society it can even be con-sidered weird. It’s much easier to blame somebodyor something else.

But the happiest and most successful people —the leaders who get things done and get on withtheir lives — know that life is an endless series ofchoices. They may be victimized, but refuse to bea victim. They may visit Pity City occasionally,but don’t make it their permanent home.

LEADERS CONTROL THEIR OWN destiny so fate andothers don’t. Leaders believe that choice morethan chance determines their circumstances. Evenin circumstances for which they’re not responsible,leaders still take responsibility for their actions.

Leaders realize that life accumulates; the choiceswe make — good and bad — are like deposits andwithdrawals in a bank account. Over the years, wecan build up a wealth of success and happiness ora deficit of despair and discouragement.

Leaders choose their destiny by directing theirthoughts accordingly.

Think about someone you know well and reallyadmire who gets things done. Someone you’d calla real leader. He or she could be a parent, grand-parent, local community leader, activist, teacher,entrepreneur, manager, or coach. How often doeshe or she passively accept things as they are andmeekly go along with whatever life hands him orher? I’ll bet rarely, if ever. Leaders don’t wait forsomething to happen, they make it happen.

After heated meetings andmany warnings to cleanup the communitygroup’s problems, the

director was finally fired. Whilecleaning out his office, he met hiseager new successor. “There arethree sealed and numbered let-ters in the top drawer of thisdesk,” he told the new director. “I left them there as my partingadvice to you. Open them inorder when you’re really introuble.”

Within a few weeks the newdirector was in deep trouble, sohe opened letter number one. Itsaid simply: "Blame me." Thedirector did and the heat wasdeflected. Before long he was ineven deeper trouble. He openedthe second letter. It advised:“Blame the economy.” He did andthis bought him some sympathyand time. But a few months later,the discouraged director was inmajor trouble. He opened thethird letter. It said: “Time to writethree letters.”

❝❝

B

D E A D LY D I S E A S E S

In the dismal streets of Pity City, there’s

an epidemic of the Victimitis Virus.

From Groaning to GrowingOh, the holiness of always being the injured party. The historically oppressed can

find not only sanctity but safety in the state of victimization.

When access to a better life has been denied often enough, and successfully

enough, one can use the rejection as an excuse to cease all efforts.

Maya Angelou, American authorSingin’ and Swingin’ and Gettin’ Merry Like Christmas

A38-year-old man was athis parents’ home forSunday dinner. Hemournfully turned the

discussion to his many problems:“I’ve just left my third failed mar-riage, I can’t hold onto a job, I’min debt up to my ears and willhave to declare personal bank-ruptcy,” he whimpered. “Wheredid you go wrong?”

R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y F O R C H O I C E S 45

BLAMING OTHERS FOR OUR difficulties is the easyway out. That’s why it’s so popular.

A job applicant put this statement on his resume:“The company made me a scapegoat, just like mythree previous employers.”

In How to Save Your Own Life, author Erica Jongwrites: “No one to blame! . . . That was why mostpeople led lives they hated, with people theyhated. . . . How wonderful to have someone toblame! How wonderful to live with one’s nemesis!You may be miserable, but you feel forever in theright. You may be fragmented, but you feelabsolved of all the blame for it. Take your life inyour own hands, and what happens? A terriblething: no one to blame.”

Rolling Stone journalist P. J. O’Rourke adds: “Oneof the annoying things about believing in free willand individual responsibility is the difficulty offinding somebody to blame your problems on. Andwhen you do find somebody, it’s remarkable howoften his picture turns up on your driver’s license.”

T


TURN ON ANY DAYTIME talk show and you’ll findendless examples of people blaming everybody andeverything for the way their lives have turned out.A little channel surfing could lead to the conclu-sion that we’re living on the Planet of the Aches.

As long as these sad souls are playing the blamegame and embracing their victim role, they arestuck in that rut. It can too easily become a rutthat’s really a grave with the ends knocked out.Regular viewers of these “misery-series” soon endup feeling as helpless and hopeless as the contin-ual parade of victims.

As key players in the “whine industry,” theseshows reflect — and help to spread — the dead-liest disease in society today: the Victimitis Virus.The virus leads to poor-little-me syndrome, a stateof hopelessness and powerlessness to do anythingabout one’s problems. Once infected, sufferers runaway from personal responsibilities with excuseslike “it’s not my job,” “I was just followingorders,” “I am too old to change,” or “the dog atemy homework” (also the title of a great book onpersonal responsibility by Vincent Barry).

The Victimitis Virus is the most contagious anddestructive infection ever seen on this earth, andis often diagnosed along with the PessimismPlague. Both kill, mutilate, and destroy millionsof lives every year. They are also the only lethaldiseases that can be transmitted without any formof physical contact, most often spreading throughone-on-one, group, or mass communications.

S


SYMPTOMS OF THE VICTIMITIS VIRUS include bouts ofdoubt and discouragement diarrhea, constantvomiting of cynicism and snide remarks, pains inthe neck (or lower regions) from suspicion anddistrust, hopelessness headaches, waves of nauseafrom pessimism and put-downs, and frequentcramps from it’s-beyond-my-(or our-)control language.

Such “victim-speak” often includes statementslike “he/she makes me so mad I can’t controlmyself,” “that’s just the way I am,” “there’s noth-ing we can do,” “they won’t allow that,” “I haveto ….,” “I am no good at….,” “the system won’tlet us,” and so on. We can all add to the list fromour personal favorites.

It’s very easy for entire groups to become infectedwith the Victimitis Virus and the PessimismPlague. The result is that many family gatheringsor meetings at work turn into “primal screamtherapy” or “blame storming” sessions — about afamily member’s poor behavior, a missed deadline,or declining sales.

C❝❝

A G A I N S T T H E O D D S

IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, I introduced you to Carl Hiebert, who successfullycompleted a 58-day flight from coast to coast in an open-cockpit ultralightaircraft. That was a remarkable achievement, but not the first time that hisstrength of will had triumphed.


In 1981, Carl was involved ina hang-gliding accident andbroke his back. As he laycrumpled in the rubble of his

broken glider, he thought to him-self, “I’ve broken my back. I’mgoing to spend the rest of my lifein a wheelchair. I don’t think Ican handle this… I don’t want tolive.” He paused and continuedhis thoughts: “No… I still havemy mind. I need to see this as achallenge. The issue here is notmy broken back, it’s my attitude.How I handle this is up to me.”

From many people, that wouldjust be a lot of brave talk. As I’vegotten to know Carl over theyears, I know that’s who he reallyis. He’s one of the most upbeat,positive, giving, and funny peopleI know. It’s a joy to have him toour house or just chat with himon the phone. His conversation isfull of gratitude around howlucky he’s been and what greatgifts he’s been given.

CARL HIEBERT IS ONE of the most inspiring examples of a leader that I’ve had the privilege ofgetting to know. His is an incredible story ofsomeone who was victimized, but refused to be avictim. Although it would be the easy way out,and we’d all understand, Carl will not catch theVictimitis Virus. This excerpt from his book, AGift of Wings, shows the kind of spirit that marks amature leader who takes responsibility for choices.

Life is not fair. We live in a world of happenstance,randomness, viruses, and cars that go crunch in thenight. Each day of my life begins in pain — chronic,frustrating, relentless pain….it is my biggest cross tobear…so the issue becomes one of choice. Do I focuson the pain and the outrageous injustice of it all, or doI focus on the opportunities that are still there despitethe hurt?… my wheelchair brings with it manyrestrictions and limitations — including most of thesports I relished in the past. Focusing on these limita-tions is a guaranteed exercise in frustration. The alter-native perspective is that my accident and this wheel-chair have given me a richer life in many respects.

Leaders refuse to let fate or others

control their destiny.

Choose Not to LoseWhether we rise to the challenge of adversity or are devastated by it is

largely a matter of choice. Ultimately, we are responsible for that choice.

Carl Hiebert, author, pilot, and photographer

WWHETHER WE CHOOSE TO focus on our problems orour possibilities is a key leadership issue. That’swhy I’ve been collecting examples of people whohave overcome obstacles. Eventually I’d like tocompile these into a book I’ve tentatively entitledAgainst the Odds: Inspirational Stories of Hope,Determination, and the Human Spirit. (Please visitthis section of our web site if you have a story tocontribute.)

Heather thinks I should include her story of over-coming the tremendous odds of staying marriedto me for more than 20 years.

Here is a small sample of leaders who refused toaccept their circumstances or “fate”:

• Arthur Bishop has written 9 books on militaryhistory. He started when he was 68.

• Dilbert comic strip creator, Scott Adams,received numerous rejections from magazinesand “talent schools” before United Artists finallyprinted a few of his early cartoons on a trial basis.

• Alvin Law is a thalidomide adult who has noarms, so he plays drums and piano with hisfeet. He speaks to kids and corporate audi-ences on “There’s No Such Word as Can’t” (aphrase he kept hearing from his parents as hegrew up).

• Major Deanna Brasseur started out as a typistfor the Canadian Armed Forces. She went onto become one of the first female fighter pilotsin the world flying F18 jets.

❝

❝FROM OBSTACLES TO OPPORTUNITIESIt still holds true that man is most uniquely human when

he turns obstacles into opportunities.

Eric Hoffer, Reflections on the Human Condition


I50 R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y F O R C H O I C E S

• A convenience store clerk I know only as Peter was shot during a robbery.Drifting in and out of consciousness, he could see from the faces of themedical staff in the emergency room that they had given up hope of sav-ing his life. A nurse asked if he was allergic to anything. “Yes,” he replied.The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for his reply. Hetook a deep breath and yelled, “Bullets!” Over their laughter he told them,“I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.” He lived.

• Slav Heller was an engineer and a successful general manager of a largefood plant in Poland. Disgusted with the totalitarian regime at that time,he immigrated to Canada. He was 34 years old, had a family depending onhim, couldn’t speak English, and had no recognized credentials. His firstjob was washing airplanes for $5 per hour. Within four years he learnedEnglish, re-established his engineering credentials, and was a productionsuperintendent recognized as an expert in his field. At age 53 he complet-ed his MBA and embarked on a consulting career.

• Brittany Theis is one of our daughter Jenn’s best friends. She was bornwith dwarfism and is much shorter than other teenagers. When kids teaseher about her height she tells them, “I am small on the outside but big onthe inside.”

These are just a few of the thousands of leaders who refuse to let fate or others control their destiny. Leaders who take responsibility for their choices.I am inspired by their shining examples when my own “cope runneth over.”Such leadership strength braces me when I want to move into Pity City, don’tfeel up to the task, or want to quit. I seem to forget my blessings much moreeasily than I forget my problems. I need to remind myself that if we can’t bethankful for what we have, we should at least be thankful for what wehaven’t got.

IT’S EASY TO MAKE our own difficulties (and blame someone else); it’s muchtougher to use our difficulties to make us. Strong leaders such as the peopleI’ve mentioned remind us that failure is an event, not a person. To fail toattempt is far worse than to attempt and fail. But look at the bright side, if atfirst you don’t succeed — just think of how many people you’ve made happy.

W

P O I N T S O F V I E W

Choice more than chance determines our

circumstance. It’s all a question of focus.

Perceived Reality“What’s the world’s greatest lie?” the boy asked, completely surprised.

“It’s this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening

to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

The day was a winter won-derland as our familydrove through the countryto a Christmas open house

at a friend’s home. A fresh snow-fall had left the trees, houses,and barns covered with an inch ofmagical white powder. The daywas cold, but in the brilliant sun-shine the snow sparkled acrossthe fields and glittered as itwrapped the buildings and treesin its twinkling blanket. It waslike driving through a Currierand Ives painting. At the openhouse, I babbled on about thewonder and beauty of our 30-minute drive through theenchanting scenery. Anotherguest who just arrived from a 90-minute drive shut me upwhen he snarled, "Some winterwonderland! The slush and sprayfrom the highway was constantlysmearing our windshield. It droveme nuts. I hate driving in thatcrap."


WHICH VIEW IS REALITY, the slush on the windshieldor the winter wonderland beyond? They are bothreality. Sometimes we’ll hear people say “he’s notliving in the real world” or “that’s not reality.” Butwhose view of “reality” are we talking about?Philosophers have argued for centuries that thereis no objective reality, only perceptions. There’s myreality, your reality, and someone else’s reality.

Most so-called “facts” are open to interpretationand are highly dependent upon what’s being readinto the data. We don’t see the world as it is, wesee the world as we are. Which is why GeorgeBernard Shaw advised, “Better keep yourself cleanand bright; you are the window through whichyou must see the world.”


IIT’S ALL ABOUT BALANCE. I can take the attitude of“don’t worry, be happy,” whistle a merry tune,think positive, and focus only on the bright sideof life. But if I ignore the slush on the windshield,I could end up in the ditch crushed against one ofthose wonderland trees with the magical snowburying my mangled body.

Problems and “ugly realities” won’t go away bypainting a happy face on them. But too often weget overwhelmed by our problems. We let ourproblems trap us deep inside our own “realityrut.” As long as we’re stuck there, we can’t see outof the rut to the possibilities beyond.

Given the festive season and a comfortable drivein the country that day, I could easily see beyondthe slush on the windshield to the beauty of thewinter scene that surrounded us. I don’t do thatoften enough. It’s all too easy to focus on andcurse the slush on the windshield. Dwelling onour problems rather than our possibilities comesall too naturally. We often expect the worst andthen say, “See, I told you that would happen,”when it happens. Too often we choose to cursethe darkness rather than light a candle.

❝❝

AAN OPTIMIST EXPECTS THE best possible outcome and dwells on the most hopeful aspects of a situation. He or she believes that this is the best of allpossible worlds, that the universe is improving, and that good will ultimatelytriumph over evil. An optimist believes no one ever ruined their eyesight bylooking at the bright side of life. Research on Emotional Intelligence,Attribution Theory (see Martin Seligman’s outstanding book, LearnedOptimism), and related fields shows that optimists not only go further in life,they also have a much better time on the trip. Optimists are generally health-ier, happier, and leaders in their fields.

Pessimists stress the negative and take the gloomiest possible view. They typ-ically believe that this is the worst of all possible worlds, that things naturallytend toward evil, and that evil ultimately overshadows good. Pessimists feelthat gravity is a myth — the world sucks. Highly devoted pessimists take joyfrom proving there is no real or lasting joy. If life were a bed of roses, manypessimists wouldn’t be happy until they developed an allergy. Pessimists notonly expect the worst, they make the most of it when it happens.

Which view is closer to reality? Since we see the world as we are, either viewbecomes our reality. We choose our outlook. We choose to be an optimist ora pessimist. As former U.S. Secretary of Education William Bennett notes: “Itis a matter of choice. That is perhaps the greatest insight that the ancientRoman Stoics championed for humanity. There are no menial jobs, onlymenial attitudes. And our attitudes are up to us.”

We may have been given a tendency toward optimism or pessimism at birth,from our upbringing, or from our current environment. But we decide whatwe want to become from today forward. We choose whether to fix our gazeon the winter wonderland or the slush smeared on the windshield.


CHOOSING OUR OUTLOOK...everything can be taken from us but one thing:

the last of human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any

given set of circumstances — to choose one’s own way.

Viktor Frankl, neurologist, psychiatrist, author of the classic Man’s Search for Meaning: Experiences in the Concentration Camp, and 25 other books on existentialism, psychology, and meaning

A❝

❝CHOOSING TO LET GO OF DEADLY EMOTIONSResentment is the poison I take in hope that someone else will die.

Anonymous

Iam running late for animportant appointment andspeeding down a two-lanehighway. Suddenly I come up

behind a garbage truck lumber-ing along well below the speedlimit. The highway is full ofoncoming traffic, curves, and hillsso I can’t pass. If I start to getangry, pound the steering wheel,and really work myself into alather about this, who is in con-trol of my emotions at this point— me or the garbage truck?


ANOTHER MILESTONE IN OUR growth is when weaccept responsibility for our emotions. We choseto lose our temper. We chose to become jealous.We chose to harbor hatred.

It’s much easier to give in to the Victimitis Virus.It’s less painful to believe that anger, jealousy, orbitterness are somebody else’s fault or beyond ourcontrol. But that makes us prisoners of ourdestructive emotions. We hold grudges, let oldresentments build up, and become cynical. Westress ourselves out. We stew in our own deadlyjuices.

Holding on to destructive emotions is slow suicide.Studies are showing that stress from negative emotions presents a more dangerous risk factor forcancer and heart disease than smoking cigarettesor eating high cholesterol foods.

A


A GROUP OF PHYSICIANS were tested for levels ofhostility while still in medical school; subsequentresearch showed that those with the highestscores were seven times more likely to have diedby the age of 50 than those with low hostilityscores.

In another study, people who had been rated aseasily roused to anger were three times more likely to die of cardiac arrest than those who weremore even-tempered. If they also had high choles-terol levels, the added risk from anger was fivetimes higher.

Reflecting on the mounting evidence that destruc-tive emotions are deadly, researcher and authorDaniel Goleman notes that “an occasional displayof hostility is not dangerous to health; the problem arises when hostility becomes so con-stant as to define an antagonistic personal style —one marked by repeated feelings of mistrust andcynicism and the propensity to snide commentsand put-downs, as well as more obvious bouts oftemper and rage.”

For our own health and happiness, we must exer-cise our choice to let go. No matter how long wenurse a grudge, it won’t get better. When we burythe hatchet, we need to make sure we don’t keepa shovel handy. Life is too short — and likely toget even shorter — if, like vultures, we feed ondead issues.

We need to forgive and truly forget. Forgiveness isnot for them, it’s for me.

❝❝

I N T H E B L A C K

Bad choices accumulate like debts. Now’s

the time to start reversing the balance.

Taking AccountMy philosophy is taking me somewhere. The big question is where.

The accumulation of equity will either be there or won’t be there.

Life accumulates. And I’m either accumulating debt that I’ll be sorry

for or I am accumulating value that I’ll be happy about.

Jim Rohn, personal development author and speaker

An elderly carpenter wasready to retire. He toldhis employer, a buildingcontractor, of his plans to

leave the house-building businessand live a more leisurely life withhis wife, enjoying his extendedfamily. He would miss the pay-check, but he needed to retire.They could get by.

His employer was sorry to see hisgood worker go and asked if hecould build just one more houseas a personal favor. The carpen-ter said yes, but it was easy to seethat his heart was no longer inhis work. He had lost his enthusi-asm and the house showed it —in shoddy workmanship and infe-rior materials. It was an unfortu-nate way to end his career.


When the carpenter finished his workand his boss came to inspect the newhouse, the contractor handed thefront-door key to the carpenter.

“This is your house,” he said, “mygift to you.”

What a shock! What a shame! Ifhe had only known he was build-ing his own house, he would havedone it all so differently. Now hehad to live in the home he hadbuilt none too well.

So it is with us.

We build our lives in a distractedway, reacting rather than acting,willing to put up less than thebest. At important points we donot give the job our best effort.Then with a shock we look at thesituation we have created andfind that we are now living in thehouse we have built for ourselves.Author unknown

Aman complained bitterlyto the bank managerabout all the checks thathad bounced on him. The

manager looked up the history ofhis account. “But Mr. Jones,” themanager responded, “how canwe honor your checks if you’renot putting money in youraccount? You have to makeenough deposits to cover yourwithdrawals.”

Living in the house we’ve built

A

O


OUR CHOICES ACCUMULATE IN our “personal choice” accounts. Depending onwhether our choices are bad or good, we’re accumulating deficits or surpluseswith each decision we make. Here are a few examples:

• After forty, our face is our own fault. It can be etched with worry or laughlines.

• We can have ever-strengthening relationships and support networks orgrow more lonely and isolated as time goes by.

• Our career expertise and experience can build toward ever-higher levels ofresponsibility, choices, and mastery or we can become stagnant, obsolete,and dispensable.

• We can continuously grow and prepare ourselves for new opportunities ormaintain the status quo and become a victim of “sudden change.”

• Our financial wealth can be growing and providing us with confidence inour future or we can be steadily narrowing future choices and plantingseeds of insecurity and dependency.

• We can keep increasing the levels of love we give and receive or becomeever more distant, cold, and uncaring.

• Our reputation for keeping our word can build trust or our lack ofdependability can cause people to doubt our promises.

• We can grow older and wiser as our years accumulate — or we can justget old.

AS WITH AN ACTIVE bank account, few of these choice accumulations are per-manent. We are continually shifting the balance of our choice account.However, the longer our poor choices are allowed to accumulate, the moretime and effort will be needed to shift that balance. So we need to get startedimmediately. Doing nothing won’t reverse a negative trend. Now is the timeto change the balance in five years from now. Five years ago we made choicesthat accumulated into today’s circumstances. Time and change march onwhether we’re ready or not. Five years from now will arrive. Our choiceaccumulations over the next five years will determine whether we look backwith regret or satisfaction.

❝❝MEASURING OUR ABILITY TO INFLUENCE OTHERS

Ain’t no use worrying about the things out of your control, because if they’re out

of your control, ain’t no use worrying... Ain’t no use worrying about things in

your control, because if they’re in your control, ain’t no use worrying.

Anonymous


IIN OUR PERSONAL AND leadership developmentworkshops, my firm often conducts a “degrees ofcontrol” exercise. We ask participants to come upwith examples in the following areas: (1) DirectControl; (2) Influence; and (3) No Control.

While there’s often lots of debate and not alwaysfull agreement, examples of “No Control” gener-ally include things like the weather, the economy,natural disasters, freak accidents, and the like. Ofcourse, many other people are quick to surrenderto the Victimitis Virus and declare they also haveno control or even influence over the behavior ofanyone else.

In most cases we have just one thing that comesunder Direct Control — ourselves. However,some autocratic people fool themselves intothinking they have direct control over their kids,co-workers, or subordinates.

Our degree of Influence is clearly the largest area— and the one open to the most debate. Theamount of influence I have is directly related tothe strength of my Influence Index in each situa-tion. We developed the Influence Index to helpparticipants gauge their position with a person orgroup in a particular situation. In each case, whenparticipants try to influence (or lead) another per-son or group towards their point of view orcourse of action, they need to assess their posi-tion of influence. An objective and honest assess-ment of that position will tell them if the time isright and they have enough strength to proceed.

TR E S P O N S I B I L I T Y F O R C H O I C E S 59

The assessment is based on a five-point scale, where 1 is extremely weak and5 is extremely strong. Using that scale, we can score ourselves in each of thefollowing 12 areas for a particular situation:

❏ my clarity around what a successful outcome would look like

❏ my understanding of their position and win (how they’ll benefit?)

❏ my persuasion and communication skills

❏ my timing and the fit of my proposed action with the situation

❏ my tone and approach (will I increase or decrease defensiveness andconflict?)

❏ my genuine desire for a win/win outcome

❏ my credibility with this person or group

❏ my passion and commitment (including persistence)

❏ our levels of mutual trust

❏ the strength of our relationship

❏ how well I’ve covered the bases with other key influencers and built theirsupport

❏ my appointed role, position, and authority

A total score of 45 points or higher shows I am in a strong position to influ-ence that person or group in that situation. A score of 25 to 44 is not verystrong. I might want to wait for a better time or strengthen a few of my low-est areas (which may take some time and hard work). If I score 24 points orlower, my ability to influence is very low. I clearly have a lot of work to do ifI want to increase my leadership on that issue or in that situation.

THE SEVENTH U.S. PRESIDENT, Andrew Jackson, once said that “one person withcourage makes a majority.” It often takes courage to use the Influence Index.It’s much easier to throw up our hands and walk away muttering, “I told them,but they just won’t listen.” The reason they don’t listen often has a lot to dowith my ability to influence. My ability to influence has a lot to do with mychoice accumulations. If I am going to improve my Influence Index, I will haveto change my choices and get to work on changing me to help change them.

❝❝

By choosing our thoughts,

we choose our future.

You Think SoA little kingdom I possess,

Where thoughts and feelings dwell;

And very hard the task I find

Of governing it well.

Louisa May Alcott, My Kingdom

P R O G R A M M I N G

Awise old sage hosted adinner. Toward the end ofthe meal, everyone wasgiven a fortune cookie

and told that they were holdingtheir future in their hands. Theguests eagerly opened them toread the words of wisdom theycontained. But the paper slipinside each cookie was blank.

“Is this a joke?” they asked. “Isour fortune so bleak or so full ofemptiness?” The sage replied:“That’s up to each of you. The


choice is yours. Many people areeager to have soothsayers predicttheir future. Fewer are willing totake responsibility for writingtheir own fortune. Your future isa blank sheet of paper waitingfor you to create what is tocome.”

As part of her eighth-grade project “Getting toKnow Me,” our daughterJenn was asked to out-

line her personal philosophy.Here’s how she described theprocess of choosing our thoughtsand choosing our future: “If youbelieve you have a good future,you probably do if you stick toyour beliefs and try your best. Ifyou believe you are going to be afailure — well, then you proba-bly will be one. See, it all worksin a cycle: If you believe, yousucceed; if you bail, you fail.”

T


THE THEME OF CHOOSING our thoughts and choos-ing our future is a timeless leadership principlethat echoes throughout the ages. Marcus Aurelius,the second-century philosopher and Romanemperor who wrote the classic Meditations, saidsimply, “Our life is what our thoughts make it.”In the 16th century, William Shakespeareobserved that “there’s nothing good or bad butthinking makes it so.” In his 19th-centuryJournals, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Life consists of what a man is thinking of all day.” In1871, Charles Darwin wrote that “the highestpossible stage in moral culture is when we recog-nize that we ought to control our thoughts.”

Core truths are regularly rediscovered and restatedfor their time. At the dawn of the 20th century,William James, the American philosopher and“father of modern psychology” declared, “Thegreatest discovery of my generation is that humanbeings can alter their lives by altering their atti-tudes of mind.”

In computer programming, “source code” consistsof human-readable statements which are translat-ed into a machine code that computers can read.Computers then execute or act upon theseinstructions. Our own thoughts — the beginningpoint of all our choices — is like our personalsource code that we execute or translate intoaction. Our thoughts set our programminginstructions.

If we continue to think like we’ve always thought,we’ll continue to get what we’ve always got. Ourdaily thought choices translate into our dailyactions. Our actions accumulate to form ourhabits. Our habits form our character. Our charac-ter attracts our circumstances. Our circumstancesdetermine our future…. Taking responsibility forour choices starts with choosing our thoughts.


GROWING POINTS• We can’t choose to be victimized, but we can

choose whether or not to be a victim. We musttake responsibility for our actions in response tocircumstances for which we’re not responsible.

• Leaders aren’t carriers of the Victimitis Virus.They also work to help others cure theirVictimitis.

• Leaders may visit Pity City for brief vacationsand to help others move out.

• Choice more than chance determines our circumstance. I choose whether to see theworld through optimistic or pessimistic glasses. Either choice becomes my reality.

• We can slowly kill ourselves with our owndestructive emotions or let go and live.

• Life accumulates. The withdrawals anddeposits in our choice accounts build a wealthof success and happiness or a debt of despairand discouragement.

• The only thing we can control is ourselves.

• The power of one to challenge the status quoand influence others is the mightiest force history has ever known. If I am going toimprove my Influence Index, I will have tochange my choices and get to work on changing me to help change them.

• When we choose our thoughts, we are choosing our future.

❝❝

Genuine leadership comes from within.

It demands honesty and integrity. It goes

beyond reputation and personality;

it is a function of character.

Authenticity To be authentic is literally to be your own author

(the words derive from the same Greek root),

to discover your native energies and desires,

and then find your own way of acting on them.

When you have done that, you are not existing simply to

live up to an image posited by the culture or

by family tradition or some other authority.

When you write your own life, you have played the game

that was natural for you to play.

You have kept covenant with your own promise.

Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead

63

G E T T I N G R E A L

64 A U T H E N T I C I T Y

Once five fingers stoodside by side on a hand.They were all friends.Where one went, the

others went. They worked togeth-er. They played together. Theyate and washed and wrote anddid their chores together.

One day the five fingers wereresting on a table together whenthey spied a gold ring lying near-by.

“What a shiny ring!” exclaimedthe First Finger.

“It would look good on me,”declared the Second Finger.

“Let’s take it,” suggested theThird Finger.

“Quick! While nobody’s looking!”whispered the Fourth Finger.

They started to reach for the ringwhen the Fifth Finger, the onenamed Thumb, spoke up.

“Wait! We shouldn’t do that!” itcried.

“Why not?” demanded the otherfour fingers.

“Because that ring does notbelong to us,” said the Thumb.“It’s wrong to take somethingthat doesn’t belong to you.”

“But who is going to know?”asked the other fingers. “No onewill see us. Come on!”

“No,” said the Thumb. “It’s steal-ing.”

Then the other four fingersbegan to laugh and make fun ofthe Thumb.

“You’re afraid!” said the FirstFinger.

“What a goody-goody,” sang theSecond Finger.

“You’re just mad because the ringwon’t fit you,” muttered the ThirdFinger.

“We thought you were more funthan that,” said the FourthFinger. “We thought you were ourfriend.”

But the Thumb shook its head.

“I don’t care what you say,” itanswered. “I won’t steal.”

“Then you can’t hang aroundwith us,” shouted the other fourfingers. “You can’t be our friend.”

So they went off in a group bythemselves, and left the Thumbalone. At first they thoughtThumb would follow them andbeg them to take it back. ButThumb knew they were wrongand stood fast.

That is why today the thumbstands apart from the other fourfingers.

Why the Thumb Stands Alone

T

A U T H E N T I C I T Y 65

THIS CHARMING AFRICAN FOLK tale illustrates whyit’s so often difficult to be true to ourselves. Itgenerally means we don’t follow the crowd.Standing up and standing firm for our beliefs canbe lonely and unpopular. This story helps us takea whole new look at our hands. It brings newmeaning to the phrase “thumbs up.”

It takes strong character to exercise the courage ofour convictions. It also takes a sound knowledgeof what exactly our convictions are. It’s easier tohave no convictions, to go along, to follow thecrowd. (At least I think so. Well, yeah, maybe itis….)

Strong convictions can sometimes be confusedwith loudly expressed opinions. Which isn’t tosay that loud opinions can’t come from deep con-victions. But people who have deep convictions— and know themselves well — usually don’t feelthe need to stand on a soapbox with a megaphonebellowing loudly to convince others. This form ofinsecurity can be an attempt to relieve the soli-tude of standing up alone by dragging the crowdover to join me.

Authenticity means “ringing true to me.” And it’shard to do. Getting real is tough. It’s a lifelongstruggle to keep peeling back the layers of myexternal actions to get to my inner self and dis-cover who I really am.

Ringing true to me. It calls for ever-deepeninghonesty and integrity in my self-awareness andreflections. It also means obtaining continualfeedback from others to see how they see me.This is essential if, as a leader, I am attempting toinfluence or change others. Because I must firstchange myself to get others to follow my exam-ple. In other words, I must build within myself anauthenticity that goes beyond doing — to being.

❝❝

Genuine leaders are authentic;

what they do reflects who they are.

The Real MeWhat I want for my life now is for it to be simple, without secrets,

I want to be who I really am with everyone, all the time.

E. L. Doctorow, American novelist and editor

I N S I D E J O B S

Leadership revisited

Whether we’re in theboardroom or the mail-room, all of us need tobe leaders. A leader

isn’t just appointed; a leadermakes things happen. A leadertakes action.

A leader doesn’t say somethingmust be done about this, a leaderdoes something about it.Leadership is a verb, not a noun.Leadership is action, not a position.

Leadership is defined by what wedo, not the role we are in. We allneed to need to be leaders, regard-less of our formal roles in the family, community, or workplace.


A


Author and consultantRobert Cooper made sev-eral trips to Tibet as partof his research on the

inner side of leadership. Hequotes a wise elder who becamea mentor and guide: “It is fromthe heart.” He touched his palmto his chest. “In Tibet, we call itauthentic presence. It means, lit-erally, ‘field of power.’ When welive from here, from the inside,we can talk openly and honestlywith each other, and say thethings we deeply feel, even whenit’s hard to say them. We holdourselves, and each other,accountable to our best effort inall things. We search for our call-ing, for the path we are born totake.”

Cooper goes on to reflect on theconclusions of his leadershipstudies: “In essence, it is a silentsphere of energy that emanatesnot only from the mind and phys-ical form but from your heart —which conveys moment bymoment, the emotional truth ofwho you really are, deep down,and what you stand for, careabout, and believe…. When youlive from the depths of the heart,you walk your talk, heed yourconscience, and don’t hesitate totake a stand. Your voice ringstrue and gets heard. It is throughemotional depth that we begin,for example, to discover, andcommit to, the unique potentialwhich defies our destiny andleads us to the fulfillment of ourlarger purpose in life.”

ACTION IS THE OUTER expression of leadership. Butleadership isn’t just what we do. It’s also some-thing that we are, which then drives what we do.

In my firm’s training and consulting work, we’vefound that we can teach people many leadershipactions. We can teach how to influence others,how to lead teams, confront issues, solve prob-lems, and so on. We can teach leadership doing.But we can’t teach leadership being. That’s aninside job. It’s an unending journey of personaldiscovery and learning. We can guide, direct, andsupport becoming a leader, but we can’t give any-one a pre-set formula or key actions.

Some people are good leadership performers.They can “do their leadership thing” and put onvery convincing acts. But in time, superficial lead-ership wears thin. We eventually see through tothe real person.

It’s not a pretty sight. Superficial leadershipdestroys trust and zaps energy. People feel manip-ulated. They often become cynical and suspicious.In this environment, ever-stronger threats orincentives are needed to prompt others to “getwith the program.”

The deepest and most lasting leadership comesfrom the inside out. It’s authentic. It’s real. It’sgenuine.

TTHE AMERICAN HERITAGE DICTIONARY defineshypocrisy as “the practice or professing beliefs,feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or pos-sess; falseness.” The word has its roots in part froma Greek word meaning “to play a part, pretend.”

I have come to believe that there are two types ofhypocrisy: (1) deceiving or being untrue to others;and, (2) deceiving or being untrue to myself. Thefirst type of hypocrisy is just basic dishonesty, anintentional attempt to fool someone else. The second type is sad. It’s unintentional, and derivesmostly from a lack of self-awareness. It is what Icall “self-hypocrisy.”

❝ ❝

Self-deception is often a

product of self-obsession.

Hypocrisy and EgotismThe true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive

his deception, the one who lies with sincerity.

André Gide, French writer and winner ofthe 1947 Nobel Prize for literature


M E - D E E P I N F O O L I N G M Y S E L F

An entrepreneur decided itwas time to give hisdaughter, a recent busi-ness-school graduate, a

lesson “in the real world.” “Inbusiness, ethics are very impor-tant,” he began. “Say, forinstance, that a client comes inand settles his hundred-dollaraccount in cash. After he leaves,you notice a second hundred-dol-lar bill stuck to the first one.Immediately you are presentedwith an ethical dilemma...” Theentrepreneur paused. “Shouldyou tell your partner?”

AI


IN OSCAR WILDE’S A Woman of No Importance,Lady Hunstanton says to Mrs. Allonby, “Howclever you are, my dear! You never mean a singleword you say.” Some people seem to feel thatleadership is about image and appearances. Theytry to look and act the part. They work hard atfaking their sincerity. They are just “empty suits”— look good, but have nothing inside.They’reabout as authentic as “natural vinyl.”

Everyone’s “phony detectors” are getting ever-better at spotting this leadership acting. We canquickly see the difference between leadershipdoing and leadership being. We know when some-one is “doing their leadership thing” or reallybeing a leader.

A MAJOR CONTRIBUTOR TO the self-hypocrisy thatleads me to fool myself is my own ego. If I sufferfrom “I-strain,” I can’t see myself very well. If Ihave a “full head of esteem,” I can’t separatedoing leadership from being a leader. If I get onmy high horse, it doesn’t raise me higher (and it’salmost impossible to dismount gracefully).

If I have money, prestige, or position I maybelieve I am a successful leader. I can head downLover’s Lane holding my own hand. I can forgetthat praise, like perfume, should be sniffed andnot swallowed. The irony is that when we aremost full of ourselves, it is then that we are leastaware of how full of ourselves we are.

It’s too easy to get confused by the images andappearances of leadership. Too often we see lead-ership as doing and having. At that level, we caneasily become leadership hypocrites. True leader-ship is being and becoming. Authentic leadershipis from the inside out. When we are true to our-selves and actively blaze our own leadership path-way, it’s impossible to be a leadership hypocrite.

❝❝

Our continuing mission:

self-knowledge.

Exploring Inner SpaceThe self-explorer, whether he wants to or not, becomes the explorer

of everything else. He learns to see himself, but suddenly,

provided he was honest, all the rest appears, and it is as rich

as he was, and, as a final crowning, richer.

Elias Canetti, Austrian novelist and philosopher, The Secret Heart Of The Clock

T

T O B O L D LY G R O W

An ass found a lion’s skin,and dressed himself upin it. Then he went aboutfrightening everyone he

met, for they all took him to be alion, men and beasts alike, andtook to their heels when they sawhim coming. Elated by the successof his trick, he loudly brayed intriumph. The fox heard him, andrecognized him at once for theass he was, and said to him,“Oho, my friend, it’s you, is it? I, too, should have been afraid ifI hadn’t heard your voice.”


THIS CLASSIC AESOP FABLE shows how easy it is toplay a part, to appear to be someone else. Butthose closest to us will eventually see (or hear)the truth. The key question is — can I seemyself? Can I recognize my own inner voice? DoI listen to what it is telling me? Am I drawn intoroles, jobs, or relationships that I am not cut outfor? Am I following the path that society orsomeone thinks I should be on, or am I blazingmy own path? Am I following my heart?

REPUTATION IS WHAT PEOPLE think I am. Personalityis what I seem to be. Character is what I reallyam. Our goal should be to break down the barri-ers between the three until they are one. Thatmeans living my life from the inside out.

W


WHEN I LIVE MY life from the outside in, appear-ances are everything. What other people think ofme and want from me becomes my guiding prin-ciple. That means my confidence and self-imageare out of my control. Subject to the fickle opin-ion of others, I set myself up to become a victim.If I simply try to make an impression, then tryingto make an impression is the impression I make.

Part of being a leader is to serve others; so I needto know how others see me. However, I can’tserve, support, or guide others if I am not comingfrom a strong inner core. Only if I believe inmyself can I generate believers. In Shakespeare’sHamlet, Polonius advises his son, “This above all:to thine own self be true, and it must follow, asthe night the day, thou can’st not then be false toany man.”

A more contemporary storyteller, television producer Norman Lear, provides similar advice:“First and foremost, find out what it is you’reabout, and be that. Be what you are, and don’tlose it…It’s very hard to be who we are, because itdoesn’t seem to be what anyone wants.”

Continually peeling back the layers of who we areis a lifelong effort. It’s the becoming part of theleadership process. Our own inner space is as vastas outer space. Like the many generations of StarTrekkers, we can “boldly go where no one hasgone before” as we continue to push back thefrontiers of self-knowledge. If we’re going to continue to deepen and grow, it’s our own never-ending discovery trek.

❝

❝

Leadership is built upon a foundation of trust.

Honesty and IntegrityTo be honest is to be real, genuine, authentic, and bona fide.

To be dishonest is to be partly feigned, forged, fake, or fictitious.

Honesty expresses both self-respect and respect for others.

Dishonesty fully respects neither oneself nor others.

Honesty imbues lives with openness, reliability, and candor;

it expresses a disposition to live in the light.

Dishonesty seeks shade, cover, or concealment.

It is a disposition to live partly in the dark.

William J. Bennett, The Book of Virtues

R I N G I N G T R U E

Seven-year-old first base-man Tanner Munsey field-ed a ground ball and triedto tag a runner going from

first to second base. The umpire,Laura Benson, called the runnerout, but young Tanner immediate-ly ran to her side and said,“Ma’am, I didn’t tag the runner.”Umpire Benson reversed herself,sent the runner to second base,and Tanner’s coach gave him thegame ball for his honesty.


Two weeks later, Laura Bensonwas again the umpire and Tannerwas playing shortstop when asimilar play occurred. This timeBenson ruled that Tanner hadmissed the tag on a runner goingto third base, and she called therunner safe. Tanner looked atBenson and, without saying aword, tossed the ball to the catch-er and returned to his position.

Benson sensed something waswrong. “Did you tag the runner?”she asked Tanner. “Yes,” hereplied. Benson then called therunner out. The opposing coachesprotested until she explainedwhat had happened two weeksearlier. “If a kid is that honest,”she said, “I have to give it tohim.”

H


HONESTY AND INTEGRITY ARE key ingredients indeveloping trust. Trust is a key element in establishing credibility. Our credibility is at thecenter of our ability to influence others and provide strong leadership.

In my firm’s leadership-development practice, weoften ask participants to list the qualities of themost effective leaders they have encountered intheir family, school, community, social, or organizational lives. Words like sincere, truthful,trustworthy, reliable, principled, and genuine areusually on the list. These characteristics are thehallmarks of strong leaders.

There’s lots of evidence to support author LanceSecretan’s belief that “we are suffering from truthdecay.” In a financial management column on tak-ing a loan to invest more money in mutual funds,a former politician advised: “If your real estatefalls in value to the point where the home-equityloan is greater than the worth of your house, youcan always take a walk. Then it’s the bank’s prob-lem.” How’s that for honesty and integrity? Doeshe sound like a leader?

Every day we hear about (or personally experi-ence) broken promises, cheating, “shaving thetruth,” cutting corners, or failing to followthrough. Mark Twain advised us to “always doright. This will gratify some people and astonishthe rest.” Winston Churchill adds: “People occasionally stumble over the truth, but mostpick themselves up and hurry off as if nothinghappened.”

OH


HONESTY AND INTEGRITY ARE among the most frequently cited leadership values. But some people seem to feel it’s something you can slip on and offlike clothing. They will speak of specific codes of behavior according to context — personal, professional, or business — as if different suits of hon-esty are put on according to the situation. This shows “doing honesty” ratherthan being honest. It’s no more than putting on an honest act. This is, ofcourse, essentially dishonest. But people quickly see through it and, as aresult, ascribe to all our behavior the lowest level of honesty and integrity —our dirtiest clothes.

That’s one reason to be consistently honest. Another is the internal confusionthat “situational honesty” can create: which is the real me? How can change-able honesty ring true to me?

PASSING THE TESTOUR TRUE CHARACTER IS often revealed by how well we resist the forces of fearand greed. In times of fear we often face great difficulty and disaster. Or wemight have huge opportunities for financial, career, power, or other big gains.How we deal with either situation, when the stakes are high, reveals our trueselves. The choices we make during those intense moments of truth exposethe depth of our character. Do we “do our honesty and integrity thing” whenit’s convenient or just when we think others are watching? Or are we honestonly to the extent that no one’s found out otherwise?

“Don’t let me catch you doing that again,” parents and other authority figureswill sometimes say — often encouraging their charges to undertake livelygames of “catch me if you can.” But honesty and integrity are developed fromthe inside out.

Abraham Lincoln said it well in reflecting on his approach, which heexplained as: “I do the best I know how, the very best I can; and I mean tokeep on doing it to the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is saidagainst me will not amount to anything. If the end brings me out all wrong,ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.”

Ringing true to me means going beyond just what I say or do. It involves listeningto what my inner voice tells me about how I feel about what I’ve said or done.

ONE WAY TO MEASURE OUR INTERNAL levels of honesty and integrity is to look athow much we trust others. Since we see the world as we are, any feelings Ihave that people are basically dishonest and can’t be trusted may be revealingmore about me than them. Indeed, one of the hazards of lying is not just thatpeople won’t believe us, it’s also that we won’t believe anyone else.

❝❝

A

M I R R O R I M A G E S

I judge myself by my intentions.

Others judge me by my actions.

The Eye of the BeholderHearing “reflective back talk” from friends, colleagues, spouses, and significant

others allows us to “true” ourselves in relation to their perceptions.

With this input we can integrate our internal conversations with data from

the external world to enrich the process of knowing ourselves better.


An elderly gentleman wentto the doctor with a com-plaint about a gas prob-lem. “But,” he told the

doctor, “it really doesn’t botherme too much. When I pass gas itnever smells and is always silent.As a matter of fact,” he said tri-umphantly, “I’ve passed gas atleast 10 times since I’ve beenhere in your office. And you did-n’t even know it.”

“I see,” the doctor replied as heexamined him. When he was fin-ished, he wrote a prescriptionand handed it to his patient.Take these pills three times a dayand come back to see me nextweek,” he instructed.

The next week the gentlemanwas back. “Doctor,” he exclaimed,“I don’t know what medicationyou gave me, but now my gas...although still silent... stinks terribly!”

The doctor retorted, “Good! Nowthat we’ve cleared up your sinus-es, let’s work on your hearing.”


AN EXTREMELY USEFUL STEP IN leadership developmentis seeing ourselves as others see us. So we need tounderstand their perceptions of our behavior.

My effectiveness in leading, relating to, or work-ing with others is highly dependent on their perceptions of me. I may not agree with what theysee, but their perception is my reality. Thosearound me have an opinion of who they think thereal me is. Their perceived “truth” becomes theway they treat me. Their perception forms theirpart of the reality of our relationship.

IN WORKING WITH INDIVIDUALS, teams, and organiza-tions to improve their effectiveness, I’ve oftenfound the subject of perceptions to be the mostproblematic. For example, we tend to define levelsof service or quality through our own eyes andvalues. But that may not be the way our customersor partners define it. There is no objective defini-tion. There is only the reality that I see, you see,he sees, or she sees.

G76 A U T H E N T I C I T Y

Our personal perception is our personal reality.There’s no accounting for taste. Everyone formshis or her own opinion, no matter how wrong wemay think it is. If we’re going to improve the service or quality delivered, we first need tounderstand how those we’re serving, or producingfor, perceive service or quality.

Like beauty — or service, quality, honesty, orintegrity — leadership is in the eye of the behold-er. I judge myself by my intentions. Others judgeme by my actions. My intentions and the actionsthat others see may be miles apart. Unless I knowthat, I am unlikely to change my actions or try toget others to see me differently. I can becometrapped in their reality and get very frustratedwhen they don’t respond to me as I’d like.

HOW OTHERS SEE MEGETTING FEEDBACK FROM OTHERS on our personalbehavior is tough. It often hurts. The truth may setme free, but it will likely make me miserable first.

When we get feedback, we nod our heads inagreement with the positive and supportive state-ments that agree with our own views. But when itcomes to our weaknesses or improvement areas,we take those to heart — often too much to heart.We can get 10 rave reviews for work we’ve doneand only one critical comment. But it’s the onecomment that hurts. And if we’re not careful, wecan let that comment fester into self-doubt and aloss of confidence.

The result? Truths that may correct our less pro-ductive habits become the truths we prefer not tohear. That’s human nature. What stunts our per-sonal growth and gets us stuck in a rut is when werefuse to hear any more of it. As a parent or a boss— or appointed leader of any type — it’s too easyto hide behind our position and avoid feedback.

HA U T H E N T I C I T Y 77

The wider the gap between our own perceptionsof areas to improve and the feedback we’re get-ting, the more we may experience what’s beencalled the “SARAH” response. A model used ingrief counseling, SARAH is an acronym that canalso be used in understanding the stages we expe-rience in response to criticism — Shock, Anger,Resentment, Acceptance, and Help. When I getopen and honest feedback on how others perceiveme, I may be shocked, angry, and resentful. Butunless I accept their perceptions as being those ofthe real me (their reality of me), I’ll neverprogress to the final stage of self-help — that is,seeking help from others in taking action on thefeedback and making needed changes.

HUMAN NATURE IS SUCH that we are usually able tosize up everyone but ourselves. As painful as itcan be, feedback is a major factor in leadershipdevelopment. It helps us to size up and see our-selves as others see us. We may not agree with theperceptions of others, but unless we know howothers perceive us, we stand little chance ofimproving our relationships with others and oureffectiveness in dealing with them. Feedback alsogives us an opportunity to reflect on our behaviorfrom an objective point of view. It provides outsideperspectives on the exploration of our inner space.

Of course, not all feedback is valid and helpful.Ultimately, I have to decide what fits and whatdoesn’t. I have to choose the feedback that ringstrue to me.

According to an ancientstory, a man onceapproached Buddha andbegan to call him ugly

names. Buddha listened quietlyuntil the man ran out of insultsand had to pause for breath.

“If you offer something to a per-son and that person refuses it, towhom does it belong?” askedBuddha.

“It belongs, I suppose, to the onewho offered it,” the man said.Then Buddha said, “The abuseand vile names you offer me, Irefuse to accept.”

The man turned and walkedaway.

❝

❝

Leaders don’t seek to change others,

but to change themselves.

They become models of change for others.

Leading by ExampleWe must be the change we wish to see in this world.

Mahatma Gandhi, Indian nationalist and spiritual leaderwho developed the practice of nonviolent disobedience that forced

Great Britain to grant independence to India in 1947


W A L K I N G T H E W A L K

LLIKE MANY PEOPLE, I’m often tempted to think howI’d like to change the people around me — mywife, my kids, my associates — the list is endless.But changing others is not the place to start. Theplace to start is with changing me.

The Nobel Prize-winning physicist Albert Einsteinonce observed that we can’t solve a problem withthe same type of thinking that created it. Thesame principle applies to influencing and leadingpeople around us. I can’t influence others tochange what they’re doing with the same behaviorthat contributed to their current behavior.

The more time I’ve spent with others who I’d liketo improve or change, the more this principleapplies to me. Something I’ve been doing, or failing to do, has contributed to their currentbehavior patterns. If I am going to change theirbehavior, I will need to change my behavior. Tochange them, I need to change me. As the 18th-century French writer Francois Fenelon put it,“We can often do more for others by correctingour own faults than by trying to correct theirs.”

When I was young andfree and my imaginationhad no limits, I dreamedof changing the world.

As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would notchange, so I shortened my sightssomewhat and decided to changeonly my country. But it, too,seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years,in one desperate attempt, I set-tled for changing only my family,those closest to me, but alas, theywould have none of it.

And now as I lie on my deathbed,I suddenly realize if only I hadchanged myself first, then byexample I would have changedmy family. From their inspirationand encouragement, I would havebeen able to better my countryand, who knows, I may haveeven changed the world.

Anonymous epitaph written ona tomb at Westminster Abbey

W


WHAT STANDS IN THE way of this key leadershipprinciple is the common (and mistaken) beliefthat we can control others. It’s an easy trap to fallinto — particularly if I am the boss, parent,owner, teacher, coach, project leader, director, orin some similar position of authority. But the factis that as long as I try controlling others througha position of power, I will always be stuck at thesuperficial level of “doing my leadership thing.”

It is only when I give up trying to control that Iam ready to move to the deeper levels of “leader-ship being” (and hence greater effectiveness as aleader). I can then shift my focus to influencingand guiding others by what I do as well as bywhat I say.

To create something we must be something. Forexample, becoming a parent is easy; being one istough. We can’t teach our kids self-disciplineunless we are self-disciplined. We can’t help buildstrong organizational teams unless we are strongteam players ourselves.

This timeless principle applies to virtually everyfacet of our lives. We can’t help develop a closecommunity if we’re not a good neighbor. We can’tenjoy a happy marriage if we’re not a loving part-ner. We won’t have a supportive network offriends or colleagues until we’re a supportivefriend or collaborative colleague.

In The Heart Aroused: Poetry and Preservation ofthe Soul in Corporate America, David Whyte writesthat “All things change when we do.” GautamaChopra elaborates: “By changing our beliefs, ourperceptions, we cause our experience to change,and in this way we change the world around us.There is no true boundary or limit to the self;there is no separation from the world that encir-cles us. When we master the forces within, weinfluence the forces without.”


IIN MY FIRM’S LEADERSHIP development work, we usea simple exercise to help people see the connec-tion between changes they’d like to see in othersand those they need to make in themselves:

Draw a line down the middle of a page. Title theleft column “Changes I’d Like Them to Make.”List the four or five biggest changes you’d like tosee in others.

OK, that’s the easy part. Now title the right col-umn “Ways I Can Exemplify These Changes.”Here, write down the ways you can influence“them” with your personal behavior. Difficult,isn’t it? Of course it is — because it forces us toacknowledge all those things we have or haven’tbeen doing to influence their behavior.

It’s much easier to be a victim here, to blame others for their behavior and refuse to accept anyresponsibility at all. But how honest and true isthat — really? I may need more feedback fromthem to clearly see my role in their behavior. Iprobably need to reflect further and deeper on ourrelationship. Is my Influence Index weak? (Seepage 59 for a description of the Influence Index.)

The big (and often painful) leadership question is:“What do I need to change about me to helpchange them?” Instead of just wishing for a changeof circumstance, I may need a change of character.

❝ ❝G


FOLLOWING THE LEADER IN MEWe judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing,

while others judge us by what we have already done.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

MMOST OF US PUT LEADING by example high on thelist of key leadership characteristics. We usephrases like “walking the talk” or “connecting thevideo with the audio” to express this core leader-ship concept. That’s authenticity.

We recognize real leadership when we see it in others. What we often don’t recognize is our ownbehavior reflected back to us. Children will actlike their parents, despite attempts to teach themotherwise. For example, parents who have littleinterest in personal growth and development willfind their children following their example —regardless of a teacher’s encouragement. In theworkplace, teams act like their leaders despite allattempts to train them otherwise. If a leader isindifferent to, say, customer service, that’s whatcustomers will experience when dealing with teammembers. Or family members may feel unappreci-ated, despite our feelings (especially if they’reunexpressed) of how much they mean to us.

GOOD INTENTIONS ARE USELESS if they stop there.Unless we act on them, they’re nothing more thanwarm, fuzzy thoughts in our heads. When it comesto leadership, the messenger must be the message.

The biblical story of the Good Samaritan wouldhave no meaning if all he did was look with sympathy at the badly wounded traveler lying bythe road. He acted on his compassion and made adifference. One of the biggest differences betweenmost people and authentic leaders is action. Realleaders make it happen.


GROWING POINTS• Leadership isn’t just what we do, it’s also something that we are, which

then drives what we do. The deepest and most lasting leadership comesfrom the inside out. It’s authentic. It’s real. It’s genuine.

• There are two types of hypocrisy: (1) deceiving or being untrue to others;and (2) deceiving or being untrue to ourselves. The first type of hypocrisy isdetestable. It’s an intentional attempt to fool someone else. The second typeis sad. It’s a lack of self-awareness. It’s “self-hypocrisy.”

• Reputation is what people think I am. Personality is what I seem to be.Character is what I really am. Our goal should be to blur the linesbetween the three until they are one and the same.

• Honesty and integrity are key ingredients in developing trust. Trust is akey element in establishing credibility. Our credibility is at the center ofour ability to influence others and provide strong leadership.

• Leadership is in the eye of the beholder. I judge myself by my intentions.Others judge me by my actions. Feedback gives me another opportunityto reflect on our behavior from the viewpoint of others.

• It’s not about changing them, it’s about changing us. That starts withchanging me. I can’t influence others to change what they’re doing withthe same behavior that contributed to their current behavior.

• Good intentions are useless if they stop there. One of the biggest differences between most people and authentic leaders is action. Real leaders make it happen.

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Successful people are energized by a love

for what they do because it brings them

ever closer to who they are.

Passion andCommitment

We will all eventually die.

The real tragedy is failing to fully live.

83

B E Y O N D N E A R - L I F E E X P E R I E N C E S

TTHESE EXAMPLES OF “victim speak” are typical ofthe widespread apathy and cynicism that existsthroughout society today. Passionate people whotake responsibility for their choices don’t talk likethis. Family, community, team, and organizationalleaders who make a difference don’t consistentlyfeel this way. Sure, we all make occasional trips toPity City or have our “doubt days.” But highlyeffective people — leaders — have a passion forlife and a deep commitment to their work orcause (often the same thing).

Passion is love. It is pumped from our heart. It isthe life energy that circulates through our lives.Love is the strongest human emotion and spiritthat most deeply touches and moves us.

Our passion for what we do — or our lack of it —tells us if we’re in the right place. To be passionateabout our work, that work has to keep moving usever closer to expressing who we truly are. Themore closely “who we are” is aligned with “whatwe do,” the deeper is our passion and commit-ment. When we love what we do, we never haveto work again. We need to do more than just get ajob, we need to get a life.

We can’t impassion others about life or their workif we don’t feel passionate about ours. Leadershipcharisma and energy flow directly from our per-sonal passion and commitment. These qualitiesdetermine how others respond to our influenceand leadership efforts.

The depth of our commitment determines thelength of our persistence in overcoming resis-tance. The deeper our commitment, the deeperthe reservoir of self-discipline and will power wehave to draw from.

84 P A S S I O N A N D C O M M I T M E N T

“How many people work for your company?”

“Oh, about half.”

“I think you're confusing me with someone who cares.”

“The most dangerous place in this organization is at the

exit door around quitting time.You’ll get trampled.”

“Working is like a nightmare. I’d like to get out of it, but I need the sleep.”

“I used up all my sick days, so I phoned in dead.”

“I’ve developed a new philosophy:Ionly dread one day at a time.”

“I feel better now that I’ve given up all hope.”

Jack and Elizabeth are intheir mid-seventies and lovelife. They had fulfillingcareers and raised three

children who now have familiesof their own. There aren’t enoughhours in the day for all they liketo do. Walking, swimming, travel-ing, volunteer work, communityservice club activities, family gath-erings, hobbies, and reading keepthem very busy. Jack has been

P A S S I O N A N D C O M M I T M E N T 85

T H E E N E M Y W I T H I N

taking a few university courses inreligion, philosophy, and litera-ture. Elizabeth has just been cer-tified as a master gardener.

When they can squeeze it in (andthey feel emotionally up to thechallenge), Jack and Elizabeth tryto help out their neighbors, theReddens, who are about 10 yearsyounger. Howard Redden is prac-tically a shut-in with his ailingheart and numerous other healthproblems. He and his wife, Sylvia,spend most of their waking hourswatching television and snarlingat each other. Their children visitor call just often enough to feelthat they’ve fulfilled their familyduties.

Conversations with the Reddensconsist mostly of listening to theiroutpourings of bitterness, viciousgossip, complaints about theirhealth and boredom — and lotsof blaming governments, theirkids, and fate for their manyproblems and ailments.

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“Dead-end job” is a term most often

used by dead-end people.

Uprooting apathyand cynicism

The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference.

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.

And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.

Elie Wiesel, French-American writer and 1986 Nobel Peace Prize winner

IIT’S INSPIRING TO BE with those optimists in theirsixties, seventies, eighties, or even nineties whoare excited about some new venture or interest.

Too many people let their disappointments andcynicism slowly extinguish their life spark. Whenthey reach their senior years, they are bitter andjaded. Their dead spirits rattle in bodies thathaven’t been laid to rest yet. It’s sad to see peoplewho are putting in time until retirement. Theyhate, or just tolerate, their work, as they bidetheir time waiting for life to begin. They put offliving and slowly die in the process. If they reachretirement, they’re left wondering, “Is this allthere is? Is this what life is all about?”

“How long have you worked here?” “Ever sincemy boss threatened to fire me.”

Far too many people have retired mentally even if,physically, they still show up for work. Othershave resigned their jobs but still go through themotions and are on the payroll. Often these arethe same people who complain that they aren’tpaid what they’re really worth — and should bethankful that they aren’t.

On-the-job-retirees who waste their lives in a“dead-end job” they don’t enjoy aren’t making aliving, they’re making a dying. They are slaves, nomatter how much money they make, status theyachieve, or power they wield.


SSTUDIES OF THRIVING PEOPLE and their successfulcareer paths show that the types of jobs they havehad is much less important than the type of person they are. There are no dead-end jobs, butthere are dead-end people. Unsuccessful people inunfulfilling jobs often make the mistake of think-ing that they are working for someone else.

Apathy and cynicism usually take root early inlife. If left unchecked through to middle age, theylead to bitterness, lack of energy, health problems,depression, and related difficulties. A public opin-ion poll taken by the National Opinion ResearchCenter found that over half of all adults in theirtwenties rate their lives as “exciting.” Once peoplereach their forties this slips to 46 percent. At sixtyit falls to 34 percent.

Albert Schweitzer, the Noble Prize-winningFrench philosopher, physician and musician, fervently believed that “the tragedy of life is whatdies inside a person while they live.” As the yearsslide by, a growing number of people don’t reallylive, they merely exist — trapped in their lives ofquiet desperation. “Just getting by” is as danger-ous as resting in the snow on a frigid winternight; our passion and spirit dozes off and dies in our sleep.


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Intellectual ability is important. But leadership

is more about the heart than the head.

The power of passionA passionate interest in what you do is the secret of

enjoying life, perhaps the secret of long life, whether it is helping old people

or children, or making cheese, or growing earthworms.

Julia Child, American cookbook author and television personality

F E E L I N G O U R W A Y

The French call it joie devivre, which means joy orlove of life. And at myfirm, we wrestled long and

hard with putting into words thecore values that define the kindof organization we want to be.Passion is the first cornerstone ofour four core values. That meanscreating an environment brim-ming with joy of life, being pas-sionate and having fun. We’vefound that a positive outlook iscontagious. We strive constantly to


give and get deep meaning fromour work. We experience life withan ever-increasing depth. We nur-ture the hearts and souls of eachother and those we serve.

We celebrate our successes alongthe way. We cultivate the seem-ingly unnatural (but vital) skilland habit of appreciating andbeing thankful for what we haveand what we’ve accomplished. Wedon’t just focus on the mountainof unattained goals yet to be

climbed, we periodically stop toenjoy the view from the vantagepoints we’ve reached.

We believe that organizations,systems, processes, and technolo-gy serve people — not the otherway around. We love and cele-brate the richness of life and infi-nite human potential in the ser-vices we provide and the way welive.

PA

teacher was discussing apicture of a family withher first-grade class. Onelittle boy in the picture

had different color hair and skinthan the other family members.One student suggested that he wasadopted. A little girl, Jenny,chimed in, “I know all aboutadoptions because I was adopted.”

“What does it mean to be adopt-ed?” asked another first grader.

“It means,” answered Jenny, “thatyou grew in your mommy’s heartinstead of her tummy.”

THE AUTHOR AND POET Samuel Ullman wrote that“age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasmwrinkles the soul.” (Now there’s a scary picture —just imagine the hordes of leathery, shriveled soulsof all the apathetic people in the world today.)Enthusiasm is a word that comes from ancientGreek, meaning “having the god within.”Enthusiasm, passion, and love are key drivers in ourlives. When we connect with our inner spirit we feelthe most intensely alive. During these moments, ourinner voice whispers, “this is the real me.”

PASSION AND LOVE ARE affairs of the heart, not thehead. Because as much as we might like to thinkotherwise, we aren’t entirely rational creatures.

Take parenting, for example. Many of us haveexperienced days when it seems that the decisionto become a parent was irrational to the point ofinsanity. In fact, on those “doubt days,” it’s easy tounderstand why some animals eat their young.

Humans use thinking and reasoning to solveproblems and make plans. But it’s our hearts morethan our heads that move us. Most so-called“rational thinking” is merely a process of justify-ing actions that start with our feelings. We oftenmake decisions that “feel right” then start lookingfor the “facts” to support them.

In many organizations, what’s often called leader-ship is really management. Activities such asplanning, analysis, problem solving, strategy,process improvement, goal setting and measure-ment are all critical. And they call for good intel-lectual abilities. But for all their importance, theydon’t add up to leadership.

Leadership is emotional. Leadership deals withfeelings. Leadership is made of dreams, inspiration,excitement, desire, pride, care, passion and love.The areas of our lives where we show the strongestleadership — including our communities, families,organizations, products, services, hobbies and cus-tomers — are where we’re most in love.


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When we’re passionate about what we do,

we can stop working and start living.

Labor of loveMy definition of self-actualization is that when you are

confused about the difference between work and play.

Ken Blanchard, leadership author and consultant

T

M O R E T H A N A J O B

Years ago I worked in acompany with a powerfuland emotionally intelli-gent CEO. A favorite motto

of his was, “If you love whatyou’re doing, you never have towork again.” The wisdom of thosewords has had a strong and last-ing effect on me. I hate work. Itreally is a disgusting four-letterword. Hard work is why I left thefamily farm. Whenever a job hasstarted to feel like work, I quit.Fortunately, that’s only been afew times in the last threedecades. I’ve put years of 60- or70- hour weeks into my career,but rarely has it felt like work.


TO STOP WORKING AND start living means I need tocontinually clarify what really turns me on in acareer, and where I want to take my life. Then Ineed a clear picture of the ideal job that expressesmy unique talents and character.

Our work can just be a job or the canvas thatallows us to paint a rich and textured portrait ofour deeper selves. It inspires us to draw forth ourdeepest creativity. Through our lifework, we canpaint the many facets of our being. The entrepre-neur and business consultant in me gives a big“yes” to American pop artist Andy Warhol’s assertion that “being good in business is the mostfascinating kind of art.”

Most highly paid professionals and wealthy entre-preneurs don’t start with the goal of getting rich.People in love with money, fame, and “success”are among the saddest and unhappiest souls onearth. If they’re driven hard enough, many end upwith the wealth they love. But they usually hatetheir emotional poverty and despise themselves asmuch as their associates and family often do.Money can be a powerful tool or a well-deservedresult. It’s usually destructive when it’s a goal initself. When we do what we love and get reallygood at it, the money will follow.

W

Iknow I am in the perfect jobif I am being well paid forsomething I’d gladly do forfree if nobody was willing to

pay me. I was an unpaid speakerand writer for a few years. Ofcourse, in those early years I wasgetting paid about what I wasworth. Eventually I became a“good-for-nothing” speaker andwriter. Finally I could charge fordoing what I love.

Ionce led a leadership devel-opment discussion group witha group of university presi-dents. As we discussed pas-

sion and commitment, a consen-sus emerged that today’s societyhas robbed many people of theirpride-of-craft. This group of lead-ing academics concluded that uni-versities have been major contrib-utors to the problem. They havehelped build a job-class systemthat puts many white-collar pro-fessionals ahead of blue-collartradespeople and technicians.But we all agreed that a highlyskilled mechanic who loves his orher work and is continually grow-ing and developing in it is a muchstronger and more productiveleader than a doctor who feelstrapped in a system he or shedespises.


WE ALL HAVE OUR DOUBT DAYS when we’re not surewe’re in the right job. But our jobs aren’t workunless those doubt days become as routine as getting up in the morning. If my work hasbecome work, I’ve lost the passion. If I’d rather be doing something else, I need to go do it.

Life is too short to give in to the Victimitis Virusand get stuck in the rut of a meaningless job;wishing and hoping I win the lottery, my fairy-jobmother magically appears, or I can just hang inthere. Meaningful work goes well beyond whatI do for a living; it joyfully expresses what I dowith my living.

I’ve met cleaners, security guards,bus drivers, and other people inlow-skilled, low-paying jobs wholove what they do and makestrong contributions to their orga-nizations and society. As the high-ly passionate American civil rightsleader Martin Luther King Jr. putit, “If a man is called a streetsweeper, he should sweep streetseven as Michelangelo painted, orBeethoven composed music, orShakespeare wrote poetry. Heshould sweep streets so well thatall the hosts of heaven and earthwill pause to say, here lived agreat street sweeper who did hisjob well.”

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R

F I X E D P U R P O S E S

It’s easy to talk about change.

Making it happen requires a

Burning commitmentThe longer I live, the more I am certain that the great difference

between the feeble and the powerful, between the great and the insignificant is

energy-invincible determination — a purpose once fixed, and then death or

victory. This quality will do anything that can be done in this world.

Sir Thomas Buxton

During the 1980s, theMilliken textile companydramatically improved itscustomer service, product

quality, and financial performancethrough an intense quality-improvement effort. They eventu-ally won a national quality awardin recognition of their success.

To promote the improvementprocess, office and factory wallswere plastered with quality slo-gans and everyone wore goldlapel pins with the word “quality”emblazoned on them. Very earlyone morning, at the height oftheir drive for higher quality, CEORoger Milliken arrived ready toaddress a team meeting in one ofthe manufacturing plants as it wascoming off the night shift. Themanager who met him asked,“Where’s your quality pin?” Rogerlooked down at his lapel, smackedhis forehead, and said, “Oh myGod! I must have left it on mypajamas.”


ROGER MILLIKEN’S RESPONSE IS an example of eithervery fast thinking or a remarkable commitment tothe cause of quality improvement! Such burningcommitment to a cause is the hallmark of passion-ate and highly effective leaders. There’s no apathy.There’s no doubt about where the leader standsand where he or she is going. As the growingresearch on Emotional Intelligence clearly shows,a strong point of view and a burning desire to seethings through is worth dozens of IQ points.

IIN THE ORGANIZATIONAL WORLD, various types of so-called “change management” programs havebecome very fashionable. Yet research shows con-sistently that over half of them fail. Like diets andNew Year’s resolutions, it’s easy to declare excited-ly a bold new world at the start of a major changeeffort. But the real test comes 12, 18, or 24months later. Rare is the individual, team, or organization still as intensely committed to thecause at that point as they were in the beginning.

Where there’s a successful, long-term change orimprovement effort underway, you’ll always findhighly committed leaders. Many people pay lipservice to change. Some can even get quite pas-sionate about the need for improvement. But onlya handful make the leap from lip service tolifestyle change. There are canyon-sized gapsbetween saying and doing and, ultimately, being.The depth of our passion and commitment determines the intensity of our involvement.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s poemcaptures the spirit of pas-sionate commitment foundin highly effective leaders:

WillThere is no chance, no destiny, no fate,

Can circumvent or hinder or control

The firm resolve of a determinedsoul.

Gifts count for nothing; will alone is great;

All things give way before it, soon or late.

What obstacle can stay the mighty force

Of the sea-seeking river in its course,

Or cause the ascending orb of day to wait?

Each well-born must win what it deserves.

Let the fool prate of luck. The fortunate

Is he whose earnest purposenever swerves,

Whose slightest action or inaction serves

The one great aim. Why, even Death stands still,

And waits an hour sometimes for such a will.


S T I C K I N G W I T H I T

In 1914, Thomas Edison’sfactory in West Orange,New Jersey, was virtuallydestroyed by fire. Although

the damage exceeded $2 million,the buildings were insured foronly $238,000 because they weremade of concrete and thought tobe fireproof.

Much of Edison’s lifework went upin smoke and flames thatDecember night. At the height ofthe fire, Edison’s 24-year-old son,Charles, searched frantically for


his father. He finally found him,calmly watching the fire, his faceglowing in the reflection, hiswhite hair blowing in the wind.

“My heart ached for him,” saidCharles. “He was 67 — nolonger a young man — andeverything was going up inflames. When he saw me, heshouted, ‘Charles, where’s yourmother?’ When I told him I didn’tknow, he said, ‘Find her. Bringher here. She will never see any-thing like this as long as shelives.’”

The next morning, Edison lookedat the ruins and said, “There isgreat value in disaster. All ourmistakes are burned up. ThankGod we can start anew.”

Three weeks after the fire, Edisonmanaged to deliver the firstphonograph.

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❝

Success is rarely easy or quick. It is the

product of consistent effort, repeatedly applied.

Persistencegoes the distance

Hang in there! is more than an expression of encouragement to someone

experiencing hardship or difficulty; it is sound advice for anyone intent on doing

good in the world. Whether by leading or prodding others,

or improving oneself, or contributing in the thick of things to some

larger cause, perseverance is often crucial to success…

Much good that might have been achieved in the world is lost through

hesitation, faltering, wavering, vacillating, or just not sticking with it.


FFAILURE OFTEN RESULTS FROM following the line ofleast persistence.

Despite the claims of book titles, magazine arti-cles and assorted self-help gurus, there are noquick and easy ways to health, happiness, wealth,teamwork, or success. Most “overnight successes”take years to achieve. Most “natural talent” is created through thousands of hours of disciplinedtraining and practice. (Indeed, the final level ofmastery consists in making it look natural.) Thereare no “success secrets.” However, there are success systems, success habits, and success prin-ciples — and these are applied through disciplineand persistence.

As the 19th-century English biologist ThomasHenry Huxley once advised his students in a uni-versity address on medical education, “Patienceand tenacity of purpose are worth more thantwice their weight of cleverness.”

We often think that successful people are thoselucky enough to have won the “gene pool.” Theypicked good parents and were born with great tal-ent, intelligence, or other natural gifts. But we allknow people with talent, perhaps even borderingon genius, who never did much with their abilities.

Many people give up just as they’re about toachieve success. They often stop digging whenthey’re inches from their vein of gold. Then theydecide to prospect for silver, start digging in newplaces, get discouraged and give up just beforethey’re about to reach their dreams.

Studies have shown that Nobel Prize winnersmost often have only average levels of intelligencecompared to their peers, but exceptionally highlevels of tenacity and persistence. They doggedlypursue their research or investigate theories long-abandoned by their less persistent colleagues.


TTHE FRENCH-BORN AMERICAN surgeon and biologistAlexis Carrel won a Nobel Prize for his work onvascular ligature and grafting of blood vessels andorgans. His research experience led him to con-clude that “life leaps like a geyser for those whodrill through the rock of inertia.”

We aren’t losers until we quit trying. As theJapanese proverb teaches, the eventual winners arethose who “fall down seven times, get up eight.”

FACING A JOURNEY OF a thousand miles or theprospect of many years of effort can be discourag-ing. One way to deal with such daunting chal-lenges is to break them into small, manageablepieces. It’s like eating the proverbial elephant onebite at a time. (Not that I can imagine anyonewanting to eat an elephant; I often wonder aboutthe sadists who come up with these expressions— skinning cats, boiling frogs, etc.)

Terry Fox, having lost hisleg to cancer, embarked ona cross-Canada run calledthe “Marathon of Hope” to

raise money for cancer research.With an artificial right leg, hisshuffle-and-hop running styleenabled him to cover about 24 miles per day.

Many people train for monthsand make a big deal out of running in a single marathon (26 miles). Terry ran close to amarathon a day — with an artificial leg!

He managed to run for 143 daysand cover 3,339 miles — fromSt. John’s, Newfoundland toThunder Bay, Ontario — beforecancer was discovered in his lungsand he was forced to abandon hisrun. A few months later he died.His inspiring legacy continues tothis day in annual Terry Fox runsthat have raised tens of millionsof dollars for cancer research.

When asked how he kept himselfgoing out there as exhaustion setin and he had thousands of milesahead of him, he replied, “I justkeep running to the next tele-phone pole.”


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H A B I T U A L S U C C E S S

During the 1960s, psy-chologist Walter Mischelconducted what becameknown as “the marsh-

mallow test” with four-year-oldsin the preschool at StanfordUniversity. The object of the exer-cise was to assess each preschool-er’s ability to delay gratification.Each child was given one marsh-mallow. They were told that theycould eat it immediately or, ifthey waited until the researcherreturned in 20 minutes, theycould have two marshmallows.


Some kids in the group justcouldn’t wait. They gobbled downthe marshmallow immediately.The rest struggled hard to resisteating it. They covered their eyes,talked to themselves, sang,played games, even tried to go tosleep. The preschoolers who wereable to wait were rewarded withtwo marshmallows when theresearcher returned.

Twelve to fourteen years later thesame kids were re-evaluated. Thedifferences were astonishing.Those who had been able to con-

trol their impulses and delaygratification as four-year-oldswere more effective socially andpersonally as teenagers. They hadhigher levels of assertiveness,self-confidence, trustworthiness,dependability, and a superiorability to control stress.Remarkably, their ScholasticAptitude Test (SAT) scores werealso 210 points higher than the“instant gratification” group!

Leaders make a habit of doing difficult

tasks that most people avoid.

Deep disciplineThe bedrock of character is self-discipline; the virtuous life, as philosophers

since Aristotle have observed, is based on self-control. A related keystone

of character is being able to motivate and guide oneself, whether in doing home-

work, finishing a job, or getting up in the morning. And, as we have seen, the

ability to defer gratification and to control and channel one’s urges to act is a

basic emotional skill, one that in a former day was called will.

Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

AA KEY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN successful people —leaders — and those who struggle to get by isself-discipline. As Confucius wrote, “The natureof people is always the same; it is their habits thatseparate them.” Successful people have formedthe habits of doing those things that most peopledon’t want to do.

Still, if discipline is a key to success, the fact isthat most people would rather pick the lock. Lesssuccessful people can’t pass up instant gratifica-tion in favor of some prospective benefit. It’smuch easier to live for the moment and let tomorrow take care of itself. But it takes disciplineto forego the immediately pleasurable for aninvestment in the future.

In The Road Less Traveled, psychiatrist M. ScottPeck writes: “Delaying gratification is a process ofscheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such away as to enhance the pleasure by meeting andexperiencing the pain first and getting it overwith. It is the only decent way to live.” He goeson to equate self-discipline with self-caring:“Discipline is the basic set of tools we requireto solve life’s problems. Without discipline wecan solve nothing. With only some disciplinewe can solve only some problems. With totaldiscipline we can solve all problems.”


DDISCIPLINE MEANS HAVING THE vision to see thelong-term picture and keep things in balance. AChinese proverb teaches that “if you are patient inone moment of anger, you will escape a hundreddays of sorrow.”

Regret can cost hundreds of hours, disciplinecosts minutes. An ounce of bite-my-tongue canoutweigh a ton of I-am-so-sorries. One indicationof our growth and maturity is what makes usangry — and how we express our anger. A boilingtemper can really cook our goose.

We all want more patience. (And we want it now!)Most of us would like to be delivered from tempta-tion, but we’d like it to stay in touch. Discipline iswhat keeps us going when the excitement of ourfirst beginning a task is long past.

Former British prime minister Margaret Thatchermakes a key leadership point about discipline:“It’s easy to be a starter, but are you a sticker, too?It’s easy enough to begin a job. It’s harder to see itthrough.”


❝❝

GGOOD AND BAD HABITS are tiny daily choices thataccumulate. Each choice is a small wire that iswoven together with hundreds of other little choices. Eventually these wires form a strong cable.

Like a child that grows a tiny amount each day,our tiny choices accumulate without much notice.By the time we realize we have either a good or abad habit, the habit has us.

Most of our daily choices are made automaticallywithout even thinking about them. To change ourhabits, we first need to be aware of them. Thenwe need to work backward from the habit to thedaily practices that form it. To change the habit,we need to change those practices.

Procrastination is a good example. Putting thingsoff until tomorrow is a popular labor-savingdevice. However, as actor and comedian W.C.Fields once said, “There comes a time that youmust take the bull by the tail and face the situa-tion.” Failing to face tough situations usuallymakes them worse. But it’s a habit. The moreoften we procrastinate, the more natural it is to dothe next time.

The opposite is also true. If we practice doing firstall those things that we most want to delay, wefind that those things aren’t quite so bad as weimagined. And everything else that follows is allthat much easier.


DISCIPLINE CAN BE HABIT FORMINGDo every day or two something for no other reason than that you would

rather not do it, so that when the hour of dire need draws nigh, it may find you

not unnerved and untrained to stand the test.

William James, Habit

PPASSION IS A KEY element of leadership. In aFortune article on “America’s Most AdmiredCompanies,” Thomas A. Stewart gives directionthat applies to every leader in any social, family,or organizational role. His advice also highlightsone of the main reasons these leaders are so successful. “There is one more item in our list ofThings Leaders Must Do, and it’s just what yourbroker says Investors Must Not Do: fall in love.There are CEOs who slash and CEOs who fix andCEOs who safeguard and CEOs who build. Thegreat ones do all these things too, but first of allthey love. Passion, commitment, ferocity — thetraits of lovers are in these leaders.”


Our discipline and habitsspring from our passionand commitment. I findthat when I have the

least amount of self-disciplineand have the greatest troubleforming a success habit, it’s oftenbecause my heart isn’t in it. Tomotivate myself, then, I need tofind ways to increase my passion.

For years I told myself how muchI hated jogging early in themorning. I would clench my teethand go for a short run because Iknew it was good for me. I com-plained so much about joggingthat my colleagues once boughtme a T-shirt that featured a list ofhandy “running excuses.”

Then I started to concentrate onall the benefits of jogging. I paidattention to the smells, sounds,and sights around me. I focusedon how invigorated I felt in theshower afterward and how muchmore energy I had throughoutthe day. I talked about how muchbetter I felt from the workout. Iread articles on the benefits ofaerobic exercise. I slowly extend-ed my running distance.

Eventually I came to love jogging.When I broke my collar bone in askiing accident (that’s the time Idiscovered, painfully, the mostdangerous statement on the skihill: “Just follow me, Dad”), Iwent jogging with my shoulderbouncing painfully in an upper-body brace. Why? Some might sayit was because I bumped my headtoo hard in the fall on the ski hill.I believe it’s because the jogginghabit had me.

GROWING POINTS• Too many people let their disappointments and

cynicism slowly extinguish their life spark. On-the-job-retirees who waste their lives in a dead-end job they don’t enjoy aren’t making a living,they’re making a dying.

• Leadership is the stuff of dreams, inspiration,excitement, desire, pride, care, passion, andlove. This is the stuff of the heart, not thehead. When we connect with our inner spirit,we feel the most intensely alive.

• Our work can just be a job or the canvas thatallows us to paint a rich and textured portraitof our deeper selves. Meaningful work goeswell beyond “what I do for a living”; it joyfullyexpresses what I do with my living.

• A burning commitment to the cause is a clearhallmark of passionate and highly effectiveleaders.

• Failure often results from following the line ofleast persistence. There are no “successsecrets.” However, there are success systems,success habits, and success principles appliedthrough discipline and persistence.

• A key difference between successful people —leaders — and those who struggle to get by isself-discipline. Successful people have formedthe habits of doing those things that most peo-ple don’t want to do.

• Good and bad habits are tiny daily choices thataccumulate. Each choice is a small wire that iswoven together with hundreds of other littlechoices. Eventually these wires form a strongcable and the habit has us.


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What is the purpose of our work?

Of our lives? Material success alone is not

enough. Leaders seek within —

and find something more.

Spirit andMeaning

Our responsibility as individuals is to be true to our own souls

and NOT sell out to the System. If we cannot help heal

the System we are in, then we must leave the System and find a better

opportunity, even if we have to create our own system to do it.

Dorothy E. Fischer, “The System Versus the Soul,” an essay in Rediscovering the Soul of Business:

A Renaissance of Values

103

W I T H A L L M Y H E A R T A N D S O U L

Frank is a regional manag-er in a fast-growing tech-nology company. Manymajor corporations in his

area are clients and he’s a trustedconsultant to their senior execu-tives. As the top producer in hisfirm, he’s considered a key con-tributor to the company’s incredi-ble success.

Frank’s a legendary “bottomline” guy. He not only “makes hisnumbers” (often by dramaticallyovershooting his targets) but isalso an impressive strategist andproblem solver. The crisp analysisand marketing smarts he displaysduring budget presentations andoperational reviews are the envyof other managers.

With a career path leading to vicepresident and an above-averageshot at eventually becoming CEO,Frank has a six-figure salary plus

internal dissatisfaction, the newpresident dismissed employeecomplaints as the product of “awailing pack of whiners who willnever be happy.”

“We can’t let their bitching andmoaning distract us from ourbusiness results,” the presidentdeclared. Frank nodded. Theemptiness in his gut growled likehunger pangs.

Would this be his last meeting?

104 S P I R I T A N D M E A N I N G

large performance bonuses, profitsharing, and stock options. Hewears his success like the expen-sive designer suits that fill hiswalk-in closet. He drives luxurycars, lives in a beautiful home,and takes his family on exoticvacations. He has it all.

Yet recently, Frank has begun fan-tasizing about suicide.

“I’ve got to relieve the unbear-able pressure,” he keeps thinking.He is desperate to kill the gnaw-ing emptiness that now comeswith each new success. No matterhow much he achieves, it’s neverenough. There’s so much more toreach for and there’s neverenough time to do it all. The ten-sion headaches are becomingmore intense. Each day, thetreadmill seems to be going a lit-tle bit faster. People are nolonger human. Customers havebecome revenue streams — theirimportance measured in terms oftheir sales potential. Companyemployees are just another set ofresources (these happen to haveskin wrapped around them) to bedriven to maximum production.

At a recent meeting to addressthe company’s growing levels of

Let’s Be Frank (I): Running on Empty

SSPIRIT AND MEANING IS a missing link in many lives,communities, and organizations. They may enjoymaterial prosperity but live in spiritual poverty.That’s what’s driving the rapidly growing numberof “meaning seekers” in our society. We want toknow that our lives count for something. We wantto make a difference. Our work and our livesbecome more meaningful when they are in harmo-ny with who we are, and when they touch the verycore of why we exist. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Those times when wefeel the most love, passion, or energy are the timeswe are most alive. That’s when our soul sings.

In Leading with Soul: An Uncommon Journey ofSpirit, organization consultants and professors LeeBolman and Terrence Deal (co-author of the classic Corporate Cultures — the 1982 book thatpopularized the idea of organization culture) conclude, “The signs point toward spirit and soulas the essence of leadership.”

The culture of a family, workgroup, or organiza-tion is often described as “the way we do thingsaround here.” A toxic culture is loveless, passion-less, and meaningless. It has a weak heart and asick soul. A healthy culture is engaged in mean-ingful doing through purposeful being. It has ahigh-energy spirit.

Leaders make work, families, communities — orlife in general — purposeful. I can only do that ifI am filled with purpose. Spirit and meaning startinside the leader. They can only be developedfrom the inside out.

S P I R I T A N D M E A N I N G 105

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❝

If we live without soul, without love, and

without meaning, we don’t really live at all.

Dead EndsA daydream is a meal at which images are eaten.

Some of us are gourmets, some gourmands,

and a good many take their images precooked out

of a can and swallow them down whole,

absent-mindedly and with little relish.

W. H. Auden, The Dyer’s Hand

J U S T E X I S T I N G

One evening after anespecially hectic day,Frank decided to join afew others from the

office at their favorite “wateringhole” around the corner. Sheilahad asked him — as she hadmany times before — and sheexpected another “no, thanks.I’ve got too much going ontoday.” But this time was differ-ent. Something told Frank heshould go along this time.

Over the second round of drinks,the conversation turned towardthe company’s growing morale


problems. Ruthless new competi-tors and massive changes in theirindustry were forcing everyone toscramble to keep up. The compa-ny’s legendary growth rates weredropping off. The dreaded andpreviously unused “L word” —layoffs — was now whispered inthe halls and lunchrooms.

Joan’s voice broke with emotionas she talked about her growinghealth problems and the steepprice her family has been payingfor her “successful career.”“Maybe it’s time to find anotherjob,” Geoff dared to suggest.

“What, and give up thecompany’s outstanding healthand family benefits package?”Joan angrily retorted.

Escaping to the men’s room,Frank felt the walls getting a littlecloser. The feeling of beingtrapped was back again. Theemptiness pangs chewed at hisstomach so hard he felt like hewas going to throw up. In one ofthe toilet stalls someone hadscrawled, “Death is nature’s wayof telling you to slow down.”

It was, Frank knew, time to takeaction.

Let’s Be Frank (II): Hitting the Wall


PPSYCHOLOGIST ABRAHAM MASLOW DEVELOPED a hierarchy describing our progression from themost basic needs to the highest need of self-actu-alization — the fulfillment of our full potential.He believed that “the unhappiness, unease andunrest in the world today are caused by peopleliving far below their capacity.”

In his book, The Greatest Miracle in the World, Og Mandino spins a tale of his encounters withSimon Potter, a humble and learned wise man. Inone conversation, Og and Simon discuss the mira-cle people can perform in their own lives by res-urrecting their dead spirits. Simon explains theneed for this miracle: “Most humans, in varyingdegrees, are already dead. In one way or anotherthey have lost their dreams, their ambitions, theirdesire for a better life. They have surrenderedtheir fight for self-esteem and they have compro-mised their great potential. They have settled for alife of mediocrity, days of despair and nights oftears. They are no more than living deaths con-fined to cemeteries of their choice.”

We need to be less afraid of death and morefrightened by an empty life.

IIN THEIR “BIG BUSYNESS,” organizations can easilylose their heart and soul. Without realizing it, orever intending to, they can lose their deeper senseof meaning. Goals, plans, reports, and numberstake over. In the harsh glare of hard-headed analysis, soft “touchy feely” emotions like spiritand meaning evaporate as dew in the morningsun. It’s like an academic study of a deeply moving story. The dissection may help us under-stand the technical aspects of the composition,but misses the feelings that touched us so deeply.

Regardless of our positions in an organization, weneed to do whatever we can to help change that.We need to be part of the solution, not part of theproblem. But we need to ensure we’re not feelinglike victims of a heartless team or organizationwith a hollowed-out soul. It’s too easy to find our-selves being numbed by jobs that aren’t a passion-ate joy, but really feel like work.

Profit, wealth, or careers can become goals inthemselves rather than the means to fulfilling ourdeeper, more meaningful destinies. If we’re not intouch with our hearts and souls, we may not real-ize how our life energy is being slowly drained bywork that doesn’t feed our spirit and give us rich-er meaning. If we’re not careful, we can becomehollow victims, our lifeblood sucked out of us.


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T H E H U N G R Y H E A R T

With his typical intensity,Frank began searchingfor ways to deal withhis emptiness. He

checked out a few churches andattended introductory classes forvarious inner-development andspiritual groups. He started read-ing books on spirituality, soul,and personal growth.

One day he came across a pas-sage in an old report that reallyspoke to him. It seemed like theauthors were reaching backacross the decades to shine a big


we-told-you-this-would-be-the-result spotlight on his life.Reading the report, written in1958 as part of the RockefellerReport on Education, Frank feltlike he was a victim of society’sfailure to act on the warnings theauthors sounded so many yearsago:

“What most people want —young or old — is not merelysecurity, or comfort, or luxury,although they are glad enough tohave these. Most of all they wantmeaning in their lives. If our eraand our culture and our leaders

do not, or cannot, offer greatmeanings, great objectives, greatconvictions, then people will settlefor shallow and trivial substitutes.This is a deficiency for which weall bear a responsibility…. This isthe challenge of our times.”

They didn’t solve it then and it’sworse now, Frank mused. Whycontinue suffering?

Let’s Be Frank (III): Trying to Fill the Void

If we don’t see a point in our lives and work,

the need for change is equally meaningless.

In Search of MeaningWhat is the meaning of human life, or for that matter of the life

of any creature? You ask: Does it make any sense to pose this question?

I answer: The man who regards his own life and that of his fellow

creatures as meaningless is not merely unhappy but hardly fit for life.

Albert Einstein

OONE OF THE BIGGEST social movements of our time is society’ssearch for meaning. Books on spirituality, soul, and personalgrowth are continually popping up on bestseller lists. TheInternet is filling with similarly themed sites and discussiongroups. Numerous surveys show that the vast majority of people in almost every society in the world believe in somehigher power. Conferences on spirituality in the workplace andsoulful leadership have become regular events attracting thousands of “meaning seekers.”

Without a deeper sense of meaning, change and the hectic paceof life can be overwhelming and unconnected. People we’re trying to lead or help change may see the need for manychanges and even understand why they’re necessary. But unlessthe change really connects with their deeper being — theirheart and soul — they will just go along….for now.

In his book, Going Deep: Exploring Spirituality in Life andLeadership, psychologist Ian Percy outlines a very useful changeor development framework — the “PIES” model, which helpsto chart the depth of commitment to a personal, family, team,or organizational change. The depth of the commitment showshow likely the change is really make a lasting difference.

The first and most superficial level is Political. At this levelappearances are everything. We make a “politically correct”change and try to show that we will “get with the program.”The next level of depth is Intellectual. Here’s where a goodbusiness case or logical argument wins the day. Facts and analysis convince us that the change makes sense. Both of thesefirst two levels deal with the head.

At the third level, Emotional, we’re dealing with the heart. Thechange feels right. We want to make it happen because itexcites us. The fourth, and deepest, level of commitment isSpiritual. We make the change because it is in step with ourdeeper selves. The direction of the family, group, or organiza-tion and its underlying purpose touches our very soul. At thislevel, Percy explains, “There is no gap and no separationbetween belief and action. The gap has been filled by the veryessence of who you are. You and the object of your commit-ment have become one.”


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In what is too often a mad dash from

cradle to grave, we need to take time — in

work and life — to nourish our inner selves.

True to our SoulsEveryone has a special purpose, a special talent or gift to give to others,

and it is your duty to discover what it is. Your special talent is God’s gift to you.

What you do with your talent is your gift to God.

Gautama Chopra, Child of the Dawn: A Magical Journey of Awakening

R U N N I N G T H E R A C E

Let’s Be Frank (IV): A Path to Follow


As he struggled to dealwith what he was nowcalling his “trappedemptiness,” Frank came

across a poem on the Internetentitled “The Dash.” It was writ-ten by a former football playerand student of Lou Holtz. Frankdiscovered that the legendaryNotre Dame football coach closesmany of his speaking engage-ments by reading this poem. Atthe heart of the poem are fourlines that really jumped out atFrank:

I’ve seen my share of tombstonesbut never took the time to trulyread

The meaning behind what is therefor others to see

Under the person’s name it readthe date of birth, dash, and thedate the person passed

But the more I think about thetombstone, the important thing isthe dash.

Thinking about his own “dash”gave Frank a path to follow in hissearch for meaning. I didn’tchoose my date of birth, andunless I take things into my ownhands, I won’t get to choose theday I die, Frank reflected. Buthow I live now is completely up tome. It’s my responsibility. It’s mychoice. What really matters mostto me? he asked himself. Whatwill my dash eventually beremembered for? What’s mylegacy to be? Who will care?

LT

THE AMERICAN PHILOSOPHER AND poet GeorgeSantayana once said, “There is no cure for birthand death save to enjoy the interval.”

For many years I helped coach our son Chris’sbaseball team. One warm June evening we weredriving home from a game. We had the windowsdown and sunroof open as we listened to theworld’s greatest baseball team — the Toronto BlueJays(!) — beating up the Yankees again.

Chris seemed to be off in another world. Suddenlyhe turned to me with wonderment in his voiceand said, “Dad, do you ever have those secondswhen it just clicks in your head that everything isperfect?” I thought for a minute and then replied,“Not as often as I used to. I’ve become too busyreaching for the future to enjoy the moment.”

LIFE IS A TIME-LIMITED offer. Too often our “dash”becomes a mad dash. We rush around trying todo and have it all. We become human doingsrather than human beings. We provide for ourbodily needs while starving our souls. We losesight of what really matters. We become truer toour ego than our soul.

Artist, writers, and performers often talk about“finding their voice.” Their art becomes anexpression of their inner selves. The people withthe deepest and most meaningful lives are thosewho have found and use their inner voice. Theirlife sings from their soul.

The ancient Roman poet Horace poses a core-being question: “Why do you hasten to removeanything which hurts your eye, while if something affects your soul you postpone thecure until next year?”


OOUR WORK IS A way that we can be true to oursouls. Toward the end of his life, impressionistpainter Auguste Renoir had severe arthritis in hishands. But his inner voice was not easily silenced.To continue expressing himself through his paint-ing, he had his brushes strapped to his wrists. Afriend asked why he imposed such pain andinconvenience upon himself. Without hesitation,Renoir answered, “The pain is momentary, but theart will last.”

Regardless of how humble or prestigious societymay consider what we do, our work should be akey means of finding and expressing our voice. Ina Labor Day speech given just after the turn of the20th century, U.S. president Theodore Rooseveltdeclared, “Far and away the best prize that lifeoffers is the chance to work hard at work worthdoing.”

Our work is part of our dash. If it’s just a job thatI do half-heartedly and half-well, I make myselfmiserable and starve my soul. My inner voicedevelops laryngitis if I am in a job I hate (or justtolerate) and don’t take pride in the quality ofwhat I do.

When our work is part of a deeper life calling, weput our heart into it. Our work becomes our con-tribution to making this team, this organization,and this world just a little better because wepassed this way. That’s when what we do becomesa meaningful expression of who we are.


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Leaders share a love that is expressed in a deep

desire to see their family members, co-workers,

and organizations grow to their full potential.

The Many Faces of LoveA human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part

limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as

something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his

consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our

personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be

to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to

embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Albert Einstein

E X T E N D I N G O U R S E L V E S

Let’s Be Frank (V): Seeing the Light


The pinkish orange glow ofthe rising sun bathed theoak-paneled study in awarm light unlike any

Frank had ever experienced. Itpulsed with life. As the shimmer-ing hues embraced him, Frankfelt like his body dissolved intomillions of pieces that floatedthroughout the room, dancingwith the light. He felt bursts ofenergy and insights that he hadn’t felt for years. The roomseemed to expand forever. Slowlyhis body seemed to materializeand return to his chair. Then thatempty vacuum in his gut poppedopen and was flooded with themagical light.

During the past few months,Frank had started the habit of rising before dawn for study andattempts at meditation (he couldnever quite still his racing mind).As the latest in a string of suchbooks, this morning he was con-tinuing with M. Scott Peck’s classicThe Road Less Traveled: A NewPsychology of Love, TraditionalValues and Spiritual Growth. Heunderlined a key passage, “Idefine love thus: The will toextend one’s self for the purposeof nurturing one’s own or anoth-er’s spiritual growth.”

“What a strange way to thinkabout love,” Frank thought. Hehad always experienced love as a

warm friendship, special close-ness, burning passion, or sexualdesire. He read on: “Since I amhuman and you are human, tolove humans means to lovemyself as well as you. To be dedi-cated to human spiritual develop-ment is to be dedicated to therace of which we are a part, andthis therefore means dedicationto our own development as wellas ‘theirs.’”

Reflecting on the passage he hadread, Frank let the book slide tothe floor as he stared out the win-dow and let his thoughts swirlaround him. That’s when thelight show started.

L

He once thought he lovedhis wife Debbie. Theyhad been married 12years. Their oldest was

eight-year-old Rachel. Four-year-old Joel was the baby of the family. The first real conversationDeb and Frank had had inmonths was last week when shelaid down terms for their separa-tion. Life just got so busy andthey had drifted apart into theirown separate, lonely lives.

During their discussion, Deb toldFrank about a couple they’dknown for years whose marriagesuddenly broke up. The husband

LIKE LEADERSHIP, LOVE HAS many faces and forms.Both are states of being that defy easy definitionsor how-to formulas. Pianist Arthur Rubinsteindescribes one face of love: “I’m passionatelyinvolved in life: I love its change, its color, itsmovement. To be alive, to be able to see, to walk,to have houses, music, paintings — it’s all a miracle.”

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia outlines anotherface of love when talking about a contest he wasasked to judge. The purpose of the contest was tofind the most caring child. The winner was a four-year-old whose next-door neighbor was an elderlygentleman who had recently lost his wife. Uponseeing the man cry, the little boy went into the oldgentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just satthere. When his mother asked him what he hadsaid to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing,I just helped him cry.”


just packed up and left home onenight. Deb quipped that it wouldbe six weeks before she’d notice ifFrank did the same thing. Thestraw that broke the back of theirmarriage was Deb’s growing sus-picion of Frank’s office affair withMichelle. But Deb could never pinit down because Frank was soquick on his feet with believableexplanations. She told Frank thatthe best revenge she could thinkof for Michelle was to let her havehim.

Looking at love as extendingyourself for your own or other’sspiritual growth, Frank realized

he didn’t really love Deb or thekids. What he thought was lovefor Michelle, was really lust. Inthat morning’s flash of light andinsight, Frank suddenly knew thathe couldn’t love others becausehe didn’t love himself. He didn’tcare about the growth and devel-opment of anyone else becausehis inner growth and develop-ment had stalled. His highlyadmired drive for success and sta-tus was an escape. He tried toovercome his inner emptiness byfilling his life with outer busyness.It was time for change.

L

Highly effective leaders are in love with the organiza-tion, community, or team in which they work or live.Their love is expressed in a deep desire to see that organization, community, or team grow to its fullpotential. Leaders love the people they work withenough to contribute to their growth and development.

That doesn’t mean we always like or agree with every-one. As with relatives, we often don’t get to pick andchoose neighbors, teammates, bosses, and the like.Some of them aren’t people we’d invite to dinner orchoose as a friend. However, leaders love their organi-zation’s greater purpose and see its products or servicescontributing to a bigger world that they love. That love— and desire for growth and development — extendsto everyone involved.

Starting with ourselvesLOVE OF OTHERS STARTS with love of self. The desire tosee others grow and develop starts with our own personal growth and development. If we’re not leadinga meaningful life, it’s hard to help others find meaning.If we don’t feel a sense of connection to a bigger purpose or being, it’s hard to unify others. Spirit andmeaning are an inside job. Inner growth is part of ourspiritual renewal process. Our soul craves it.

Since the beginning of civilization, humans have pursued growth. We’ve restlessly tried to do and havemore and more. For most of the history of the westernworld, growth has been expressed in the outer, materialworld — possessions, territory, money, economies, etc.But now our environmental awareness and shifting values are showing us some of the limits to outer, material growth.

We are now moving to a stage of inner, spiritualgrowth. This is new territory. But like those who werepart of the industrial revolution, we are just getting aninkling of the awesome power and exciting new worldthat the Inner Revolution will open up for us in thenext few decades.


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L E A D F R O M T H E C E N T E R

Centered leaders are continually exploring

inner space. They draw outward leadership

strength from their heart and soul.

Living Inside OutBy changing our beliefs, our perceptions, we cause our experience to change, and

in this way we change the world around us. There is no true boundary

or limit to the self; there is no separation from the world that encircles us.

When we master the forces within, we influence the forces without.

Gautama Chopra, Child of the Dawn: A Magical Journey of Awakening

Let’s Be Frank (VI): Finding the Voice Within


Frank decided to quit hisjob. The price of “success”was too high. The awaken-ing he experienced that

morning in his study helped himrealize that he needed to get offthe speeding treadmill before hekilled himself. But what did hereally want? Frank had spentmost of his adult life chasing soci-ety’s definition of success. Whatwas his? What did he value most?Where would he ideally like tobe? What was his purpose or rea-son for being?

Frank spent weeks wrestling withthese questions. He started keep-ing a personal journal to recordhis thoughts and feelings. Hehoped this might help him learnmore about himself and under-

stand what really mattered mostto him. He realized that his val-ues had become centered aroundwealth, career success, and per-sonal recognition.

After thinking hard about whatvalues he wanted to build his lifearound, Frank finally identifiedhis real priorities: family, continu-ous personal growth, financialsecurity, and a job that connectedwith his soul. Identifying a per-sonal purpose or reason for beingwas especially tough. But after awhile, the elusive answer came.As Frank wrote in his journal, “Iam here to learn how to growpersonally and enrich my innerlife. I will try to help others dothe same. I will contribute to soci-ety by raising children who

become effective adults, doingmeaningful work that makes adifference, and strengthening mycommunity and country.”

Frank’s vision of his preferredfuture began to take shape aswell. He’d always enjoyed litera-ture and live theater (but inrecent years had no time to enjoyeither). He began to dream aboutmoving to a small town famousfor its theater and summer festi-vals. Knowing how the town andtheater was struggling, he sawhimself using his considerablemarketing talent to help revivethe struggling community. Hetook a few trips to the town tolook at houses and investigatethe possibilities.

T

There still remained theissue of Frank’s marriage,which was in big trouble.The first step was to admit

his affair to Deb and break offthe relationship with Michelle.Understandably, Deb remainedangry and hurt. They began see-ing a therapist for marriagecounseling. But it didn’t seem todo much to bridge the huge riftbetween them.

In one of the growing number ofpainful discussions about theirfuture, it dawned on Frank thathe and Deb had spent more timeplanning their vacations and buy-ing cars and homes than they’dspent planning their lives togeth-er. So he suggested they tryestablishing a joint vision of their

ideal future together, clarify theirkey values, and try to write astatement of purpose.

Frank started by sharing hisrecently acquired idea of movingto the small theater town. Deblistened patiently. When he wasfinished, she sat in icy silence.Finally she exploded, “Your post-card picture of artsy theater andsmall-town life is unbelievablyselfish! Did it ever occur to youthat I don’t want to drop mycareer and leave my friends here?What about the kids? Do youreally think they want to beuprooted so you can play the hero— the big man about town?”

Frank responded in kind. Hecould give as much fire and


venom as he ever got from any-one else. But in his heart, heknew she was right. A few dayslater, when they’d both cooledoff, Frank and Deb took anotherstab at developing a joint pictureof their ideal future together.

It was tough work. Many of thepent-up frustrations and issuesthey should have dealt with longago finally gushed out. At timesthey had to break off discussionsand go their separate ways. Butas the weeks passed, a picture oftheir possible shared future tookshape. The question now was,could they rebuild their relation-ship and bridge the huge gapsthat had grown between them?

THINK ABOUT A FEW special people you know personally who are strong leaders. They may be amanager, team member, teacher, family member, orcommunity leaders. Chances are that one of theirspecial characteristics is their strong sense of self.

Leaders know who they are (or aren’t), wherethey want to go, and what really matters most.They care about the opinions of others, but theydon’t try to please everybody and meekly play theparts that others want them to play. As authenticleaders, they don’t lead their lives from the out-side in. Rather, they lead from the inside out.

Inside-out leadership comes from deep within. Itis leading from our center. Centered leaders arecontinually exploring inner space and drawingouter leadership strength from their heart andsoul. This is how they enrich their lives. It is thesource of the spirit and meaning they bring totheir families, teams, or organizations.

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The challenge — even the obligation —

of leadership is to help others care about

who they are and what they do.

Take My MeaningAn essential factor in leadership is the ability

to influence and organize meaning.


D O I N G I T O N P U R P O S E

Let’s Be Frank (VII):Reaching the Other Side


Frank had broken throughhis “trapped emptiness.”He had a renewed sense ofhope and purpose. He was

energized. Life was worth living.

Frank understood, too, that thegreener grass on the other side ofthe fence often turns out to beastroturf. He realized that quittinghis job and moving to that smallfestival theater town was just anescape. Deb and the kids werequite happy to stay put. As Debsaid one night, “We could move toanother house or take other jobs,but our problems would hitchthemselves to the moving van andmove in with us.”

With a lot of additional work andtrust building, they just might beable to save their marriage. Theyboth agreed it was worth theeffort.

Frank also came to realizehow much he loved andbelieved in the productsand services his company

provided. They were making adifference to the lives of thou-sands of people.

If the company didn’t keep quali-ty and service levels high, planesand computer systems couldcrash. Hospital operating roomscould go dark. Cars could mal-function. Factories could lose pro-duction and become less efficient.Somehow everyone had lost sightof that.

The focus was on immediatemeasures such as daily produc-tion, sales volumes, cost contain-ment, and budgets. All of whichwas necessary, of course, but itdidn’t go deep enough. A budgetdoesn’t tug at the heart strings

(although missing budget targetscan cause some managers to riphearts out). Business plans don’ttouch the soul.

Frank knew that only people con-necting with people can providethat deep and satisfying sense ofmeaning. He worked hard to helphis team reconnect with the senseof purpose and meaning thatFrank now felt. They focused oncustomers and what impact theorganization’s products and ser-vices were having on their lives.He encouraged personal calls andvisits to customers. He broughtcustomers into meetings andplanning sessions to discuss howthey were using the company’sproducts and services.

WWHAT CAN WE TAKE away from Frank’s story? Oncehe connected with his deeper self, he reconnectedthe people in his organization with their vision,values, and purpose. He continually referred backto them during meetings and planning sessions.He built appreciation, recognition, and celebra-tions around them. He linked hiring and promo-tions to them. He even helped the companyexpand their leadership development programs toinclude role descriptions, personal feedback, andcoaching on how to strengthen spirit and mean-ing. Frank still has a long way to go yet, but he isstarting to reconnect everyone’s heart and soul.The joy of work and life is breaking through theclouds.

In my consulting firm, we often bring groups ofpeople together to get their perspectives onstrengths and weaknesses, improvement opportu-nities, and the like. One morning I asked a groupof very quiet production and service people aseries of these questions. I was getting very fewresponses. This was going nowhere fast. Finallyone grizzled veteran sitting at the back of theroom with his arms folded said, “Jim, I thinkyou’re confusing us with people who care.”

Assuming we care — and if we don’t, we’re in thewrong place — the leadership challenge (evenobligation) is to help others care. In today’s envi-ronment, this is one of the toughest aspects ofleadership. Partially that’s a symptom of the wide-spread Victimitis Virus — the hopelessness andpowerlessness of poor-little-me syndrome.

Cynicism is also running wild, as popular cartoonstrips (and associated books) show nothing butthe negative sides of organizational life, and paintall managers as bumbling idiots. Whole culturescan become infected with this lack of meaningand emptiness.


Q

Downsizing and layoffs have also reduced loyal-ties and commitment. If we can’t help othersbecome ever more committed to the organization,we can help them increase their commitment tothe organization’s cause. This involves aligningthe personal purpose and values of people withthe team or organization’s deeper reason for being.

At my firm, we try to express this essential leadershipelement through the following values statement:

We’re here to make the world a better place. Ouroverarching purpose is to make a difference in eachother’s lives and in the lives of those we serve. Wemaintain a healthy bottom line to provide financialstrength and stability, but money isn’t our primaryfocus. We know that if we serve our customers welland manage our business effectively, profits will beour reward.

QUEEN BEES GIVE OFF a chemical substance thatkeeps the hive together. It has been called “thespirit of the hive.” Few of us can sit around strict-ly as queen bees — although it is a temptingthought. We need to be worker bees as well.

It’s a balance issue: As we contribute our work toour team or organization, we also need to con-tribute a sense of meaning or purpose. Regardlessof our formal role, we need to help build the spir-it of the team. This leadership comes from ourown center. I can only contribute the spirit andmeaning that I feel. I need to lead with all myheart and soul.


GROWING POINTS• One of the biggest social movements of our

time is society’s search for meaning. We wantto know that our lives count for something.We want to make a difference.

• A toxic culture is loveless, passionless, andmeaningless. It has a weak heart and a sicksoul. A healthy culture is engaged in meaning-ful doing through purposeful being. It has ahigh-energy spirit.

• Life is a time-limited offer. Too often our“dash” becomes a mad dash. Our work is partof our dash. When our work is part of a deeperlife calling, we put our heart into it. That’swhen what we do becomes a meaningfulexpression of who we are.

• Leaders love their organization’s greater purpose and see its products or services con-tributing to a bigger world that they love. Thatlove — and desire for growth and development— extends to everyone involved.

• Centered leaders are continually exploringinner space and drawing outer leadershipstrength from their heart and soul. It is thesource of the spirit and meaning they bring totheir families, teams, or organizations.

• Assuming we care (if not, we’re in the wrongplace), the leadership challenge is to help others care. We need to help build the spirit ofthe team or organization.


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123

F R O M P H A S E O F L I F E T O W A Y O F L I F E

What’s our best defence against being

victims of change? To grow and develop

every day; to change ourselves —

and to lead others in the process.

Growing andDeveloping

The fatal metaphor of progress,

which means leaving things behind us,

has utterly obscured the real idea of growth,

which means leaving things inside us.

G. K. Chesterton, Fancies Versus Fads

W

Marti was drivingthrough her neighbor-hood to work onemorning when a genie

suddenly appeared in the passen-ger seat and asked, “And whatwill your third wish be?”

Marti was so startled, she almosthit a lamp post. After pulling overto the curb and stopping the car,she glared angrily at the genieand practically shouted, “How canI be getting a third wish when Ihaven't had a first or second wish yet?”

“You have had two wishesalready,” the genie calmlyreplied, “but your second wishwas for me to put everything backthe way it was before you madeyour first wish. So you remembernothing, because everything is theway it was before you made anywishes. You have one wish left.”

Already late for work, Martithought about her hectic life andblurted, “Okay, I don't believethis, but why not; I wish my worldwould slow down and stop mov-ing so fast. I wish we lived on

124 G R O W I N G A N D D E V E L O P I N G

easy street. I wish there was morestability and security at work, athome, and here in our community.I wish life was more predictableand things didn’t keep changing.”

“Funny,” said the genie as itgranted Marti’s wish and disap-peared forever. “That was yourfirst wish, too.”

WE DO NEED TO be careful about what we wish for— we just might get it. The popular goals of secu-rity, stability, and predictability are deadly. Thecloser we get to these dangerous goals, the moreour growth is stunted and learning reduced. Intoday’s fast-changing world, if we fail to change, itis we who will be changed.

Take the notion of “job security,” for example.Sure, it sounds attractive, but it can draw us intothe poisonous swamps of rot and decay. The moresecure I become in my job, the more likely I amto become stagnant, stuck in a rut. A high level ofjob security means I feel less and less urgency togrow, develop, and build new skills.

Remember, change is inevitable. And eventuallythat change will affect everyone’s job, leaving thosewho are unprepared as victims. Ironically, it is“job security” that most often leads us down theslippery slope to a future with very little securityindeed.

True and lasting security comes from constantgrowth and development. We can’t managechange, but we can be change opportunists. Thehigher our rate of personal growth and develop-ment, the more likely we are to master the oppor-

Ltunities that change unexpectedly throws in frontof us. To master change and build a life of ever-deeper growth, we need to make learning a way oflife rather than a phase of life.

LEADERS ARE CONSTANTLY ON the grow. Much as infinancial planning, where one of the key princi-ples is to “pay yourself first,” highly effective leaders devote at least 10% of their time to personal growth and development.

The first step in achieving growth and develop-ment is having the desire to do so. Many people(and organizations) seem to think they can skipthis step. They want to harvest the benefits ofgrowth and development without planting theseeds of a personal growth plan, then fertilizing itwith strong learning habits.

Ultimately, it is from their own growth and devel-opment that leaders help (or lead) others in grow-ing and developing. This is a function of skills(doing) and values (being). The more we value(love) others, the more we care about theirgrowth and development.

But we can’t make others into something that weare not ourselves. Parents with stunted personalgrowth have a tough time raising their kids tolearn, develop, and grow — just as, in the work-place, growth-deficient managers or group leadersaren’t likely to develop learning and growingteams or organizations. Developing them meansdeveloping me.

G R O W I N G A N D D E V E L O P I N G 125

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There’s nothing more dangerous

than a comfortable rut.

Slow DeathThe most fatal illusion is the settled point of view. Since life

is growth and motion, a fixed point of view kills anybody who has one.

Brooks Atkinson, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist

TL

R O T T I N G A W A Y

Isidor Isaac Rabi was anAustrian-born Americanphysicist who won a NobelPrize in physics for his work

in nuclear science. He was onceasked how he became a scientist.Rabi explained that each dayafter school his mother would discuss his school day with him.She was less interested in whathe had learned than in whetherhe “asked a good questiontoday.” She encouraged inquiryand curiosity in all that youngIsidor did. “Asking good ques-tions,” Rabi explained, “made me become a scientist.”


LIKE ISIDOR RABI, MANY people experience consid-erable growth during their days at school. Butwhen their formal education comes to an end, so,too, does the questioning that leads to growthdevelopment.

When we see learning as a phase of life ratherthan a way of life, it’s easy to become set in ourpoint of view. As our personal growth rate slowsand time goes by, we can become one of thoseknow-it-all boors (and we’ve all suffered theircompany) who have many answers and few questions. Approaching middle age, we can endup with our broad mind trading places with ournarrow waist. We can become so narrow-mindedthat we have to stack our ideas vertically.

THERE’S A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE between growingwith age and simply growing old. With age cancome wisdom, but too often age comes alone. Ageto the stagnant is winter; but to a leader on thegrow, it is harvest time.

Not all experience is equal. Experience isn’t whathappens to us, it’s what we do with what happensto us. There’s a major difference between growth

experience and stagnation experience. Maybewe’ve shown up for work year after year and putin the time, but that doesn’t mean we’ve gained bythe experience. We may just be going through themotions, like taking the same route day after day;soon we’re numbed to the passing landscape.We’re in a rut.

Personal growth, continuous improvement, life-long learning… these are mantras for many people today. But good intentions often don’ttranslate into action. It isn’t always easy to recog-nize when we’ve slipped into the stagnant watersof stability and certainty. Like putting on weight,it happens gradually — until one day we noticehow out of shape we’ve become.

Consider the following signs of stagnation and seeif they sound familiar.

• We’ve always done it that way. We don’t chal-lenge our assumptions and reflect frequentlyon how we should do things now.

• I am too old to change. In Vincent Barry’s TheDog Ate My Homework, this learning cop-out isdescribed as “some senior’s socially sanctionedrefusal to acknowledge and take responsibilityfor attitudes, actions, and circumstances wellwithin his or her power to influence.” He goeson to write: “It’s also about dying before one’stime by living halfheartedly the time one hasleft. In this respect, ‘I’m too old to change’ isabout all of us who refuse to live by refusing tochange; for ‘to change is to mature, [and] tomature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.’”

• Losing our childlike curiosity. Our sense of wonder and discovery is replaced with cyni-cism and apathy, often expressed as “beenthere, done that, what else is new.” PabloPicasso, one of the most prolific painters inhistory (with more than 20,000 works), onceobserved that “every child is an artist. Theproblem is how to remain an artist once hegrows up.”


• Learning strictly through our own experience. It’soften better to borrow the experiences of othersthan to learn merely from our own. This can benot only less painful, but a much faster method oflearning. Resources such as books, seminars, mentoring, networking, and group problem solving are just some of the things we can use tolearn from other people’s experience.

• Being a creature of habit. It’s very easy to slip intoroutines that close us off from new approaches andlearning. Our thinking can fall victim to repeatedclichés, platitudes, and dogma. In The Tragic Senseof Life, Spanish philosopher Miguel de Unamunowrites, “To fall into habit is to begin to cease to be.”

• Having all the answers. Writing in his personal journal in 1852, French artist Eugène Delacroixnoted that “mediocre people have an answer foreverything and are astonished at nothing. Theyalways want to have the air of knowing better thanyou what you are going to tell them…. a capableand superior look is the natural accompaniment ofthis type of character.”

• Being complacently satisfied. Only a mediocre person is always at his or her best. If I am gettingvery comfortable with my expertise and skill levels,my learning has leveled out. I am not stretchingand challenging myself enough. My comfort zone isfossilizing into a complacency zone.

• Fearing to attempt. We know that the turtle onlymakes progress by sticking his head out. Yet we sitand dream about what we’re going to do — some-day. If we don’t take steady steps toward ourdreams, the walls around our complacency zoneget ever higher and thicker.

• Having a fuzzy focus. Our growth and developmentshould be taking us somewhere. If we don’t knowwhere we want to go, what we stand for, or whywe’re here, any experience and learning path willdo. We just wander around and hope for the best.


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O N W A R D A N D U P W A R D

We can just manage change as it hits us.

Or we can prepare for it through an

ongoing process of discovery.

Always on the GrowIn a time of drastic change it is the learners who inherit the future. The

learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.

Eric Hoffer, Reflections on the Human Condition

Hank had all the answers.He was a legend in hisown mind. A very expe-rienced and knowledge-

able senior technician, peoplewere constantly drawing on hisanalytical abilities. There didn’tseem to be a technical or systemproblem he couldn’t solve. Hankhad little patience for the less-informed, however, and he usedhis technical know-how like asword to “cut down the fools” whodidn’t follow his flawless logic. Ifhe wanted any bright ideas, he’dgive them to you.

Since turbulence was buffetingthe company from many sides atonce, various change andimprovement efforts were under-way. These included focusing oncustomer needs and improvingservice levels, cross-departmentalteams, process improvements,leadership development, and anenterprise-wide integration ofcomputer systems.


Hank dismissed most of the com-pany’s efforts with his usual cyni-cism. “If we lay low long enough,this too shall pass,” he liked toquip. “I’ve been round and roundthe mulberry bush on this before.So many of these managementfads are like the ties in my closet;if I wait long enough, they’llcome back in fashion.”

Gillian was a very knowl-edgeable senior techni-cian who worked along-side Hank. They were

about the same age and had bothstarted in the company aroundthe same time. She had a lot ofrespect for Hank’s quick intellect,had learned a lot from him, andcontinued to draw from his tech-nical expertise.

But Gillian’s approach to problemsolving relied less on dispensingquick answers than on initiating aprocess of asking questions. Shewas constantly asking why —and digging deeper to under-stand the underlying technical,

process, or human issuesinvolved. She seemed to have aninsatiable curiosity about a widevariety of subjects, both on andoff the job. She was constantlyreading, surfing the Internet, tak-ing a course, or networking withcolleagues in other companies.

Gillian’s motto was summed up ina Henry Ford quotation she’dframed and put on her desk:“Anyone who stops learning isold, whether at twenty or eighty.Anyone who keeps learning staysyoung. The greatest thing in lifeis to keep your mind young.” Shesupported the company’s floun-dering change and improvementinitiatives because she knew howcritical they were to meeting thechanges hitting their industry.

G

Ivano was Hank and Gillian’smanager, and he had a trou-bling decision to make. Aspart of the company’s major

organizational changes, he andhis vice president had agreed thatthe department needed to berestructured and reduced in size.There wasn’t going to be roomfor both Hank and Gillian.

“We’ve struggled with our changeprograms because they’ve beenjust that — programs, ratherthan a way of life,” the vice presi-dent said. “We’ve got to go deep-er. We have to shift our culturetoward continuous learning andconstant improvement. We needto build a focused, fast, and flexi-ble department around theremaining senior technician.” Nodiscussion was needed as to whothat person would be; they bothagreed that Gillian was the obvi-ous choice.

Ivano dreaded the scene hewould have with Hank. He alsofelt sorry for him. With his rigidmind-set, poor people skills, andtraditional view of the world,Hank would have a tough timefinding another job.

GILLIAN DEMONSTRATED — and Hank discoveredtoo late — that what I am going to be tomorrowis determined by what I am becoming today. If I continue to do what I’ve always been doing, I willcontinue to get what I’ve always been getting. Toget somewhere else, I need to grow into someoneelse.

If I have a clear picture of my preferred future andI am growing and developing toward that, theodds of my getting there rise dramatically. If I ama couch potato, I probably won’t get much furtherin life than my couch. If I am a “mouse potato”(Internet widows/widowers will understand thisterm), I can be wasting my on-line computer timeor wisely investing it. Growth or rot are the directresults, respectively, of the learning habits or thestagnation that flow from our choices.


LIT

he famed ancient Greekmathematician Euclid washired to teach geometry toa young, impatient

Egyptian heir to the throne. Theprince was an unmotivated student. He especially resistedlearning basic formulas and theories before getting into practical applications.

“Is there no simpler way you canget to the point?” he asked. “Asthe crown prince I should not beexpected to deal with such trivialand useless details.”

Euclid’s response was destined to be paraphrased by teachersthroughout the ages: “I am sorry,but there is no royal road tolearning.”

IT’S EASY TO SEE learning as an end result ratherthan an ongoing process. Once I get my diploma,certification, or job, it’s all too natural to relax andfeel that I should now enjoy the fruits of mylabors. Therein lies the deadly trap of viewinglearning (or change) as a phase, not a way of life.

Constant growth, development, and adaptabilityto change comes from lifelong learning. As the19th-century British theologian and essayist JohnHenry Newman once said, “Growth is the onlyevidence of life.” If we’re not growing, we’re like adying tree; eventually the winds of change willsnap us off our rotting trunks and blow us over.

LIKE CONTRIBUTING A FEW dollars a day to an investment fund, the habit of learning accumulateslittle by little, each day. How much we invest inthat fund and where we invest it will determinehow wealthy we eventually become.

Scottish author Samuel Smiles founded the mod-ern self-help field with his 19th-century bestseller,Self Help. In it he writes: “Men of business areaccustomed to quote the maxim that ‘time ismoney’ — but it is more; the proper improvementof it is self-culture, self-improvement, and growthof character. An hour wasted daily on trifles or inindolence, would, if devoted to self-improvement,make an ignorant man wise in a few years, andemployed in good works, would make his lifefruitful, and death a harvest of worthy deeds.Fifteen minutes a day devoted to self-improvementwill be felt at the end of the year.”


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M

L E S S O N S L E A R N E D

In a small pub in the high-lands of Scotland, a group offishermen gathered oneafternoon to swap tales over

a round of ale. One of themstretched his arms apart to showthe big one that got away. At thatvery point, a waitress walked pastcarrying a tray of full ale glasses.The fisherman’s wild gesturessent the tray smashing againstthe wall. The dark brew splashedon the white wall of the pub andbegan running down. The wait-ress and the fisherman tried towipe the mess off the wall, but ithad left an ugly dark stain. Aman who had watched the wholescene from another table walkedquietly over to the wall. With abrown pastel crayon he took fromhis pocket, he began to sketch.The entire pub watched in silentawe as a majestic stag with greatspreading antlers magically tookshape around the stain. The artistwas Sir Edwin Henry Landseer,the top 19th-century Britishpainter of animals.


MANY DISCOVERIES AND BREAKTHROUGHS are made byaccident. In fact, the history of innovation is along list of failures that eventually led to biggersuccesses. There you’ll find names like Post-It-Notes, Pyrex cookware, Jello, Popsicles, theWalkman, Lifesavers, Coca Cola, Silly Putty,Kleenex, Levi jeans, Band-Aids, Corn Flakes —and thousands more. Accidental innovations andunplanned applications happen every day. Few ofthem ever amount to anything productive anduseful. But when inventors and companies areable to capitalize on their “happy accidents,” it isbecause they are the most flexible and responsiveto the unexpected opportunities before them. As19th-century self-help pioneer Samuel Smileswrote, “We often discover what will do, by find-ing out what will not do; and probably he whonever made a mistake never made a discovery.”

In the learning process, accidents and

mistakes are often our best teachers.

Successful FailuresTo double your success rate, double your failure rate.

Tom Watson Sr., founder of IBM

WWHEN IT COMES TO sky diving, if at first I don’tsucceed…. my worries are over.

Few learning experiences are that deadly.However, learning-impaired people treat manynew experiences as if they were. Fear of failure isa huge killer of innovation and learning. InMeasure for Measure, William Shakespearepenned, “Our doubts are traitors/ And make uslose the good we oft might win/ By fearing toattempt.”

If I am going to continue growing and developing,I have got to embrace the idea of trying some-thing and failing. That will take me much furtherthan doing nothing and succeeding. Life doesn’tcome with any guarantees. Nothing is certain.There is no such thing as a sure thing.

By taking few chances and not trying somethingnew, I will reduce my risk of failure. I will alsoreduce my chances of success. As British authorKatherine Mansfield implores us: “Risk! Risk any-thing! Care no more for the opinion of others, forthose voices. Do the hardest thing on earth foryou. Act for yourself.”


CLASSIFIED AD: “Parachute for sale. Only usedonce, never opened, small stain.”

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IAccording to the theory of aerodynamics, as may bereadily demonstrated through wind tunnel experi-ments, the bumblebee is unable to fly. This is becausethe size, weight, and shape of his body in relation tothe total wingspread make flying impossible. But thebumblebee, being ignorant of those scientific truths,goes ahead and flies anyway — and makes a littlehoney every day.

From an old poster found in a manufacturing plant

I CAME ACROSS THIS nugget of wisdom years ago.It’s a favorite of mine, because it captures anotherkey characteristic of learning leaders: they refuseto be trapped by “conventional wisdom” or whatothers say is or isn’t possible.

Highly effective leaders go against the odds — orjust ignore them. It’s a trait that the legendaryinventor Charles Kettering called “intelligentignorance.” Among his many teachings aboutinnovation, he provides this useful perspective ongrowing and developing: “Research ... is nothingbut a state of mind — a friendly, welcoming atti-tude toward change; going out to look for changeinstead of waiting for it to come. Research, forpractical people, is an effort to do things better ...the research state of mind can apply to anything— personal affairs or any kind of business, big orlittle.”


One of my consultingfirm’s four core values is“High Growth andDevelopment.” (You can

visit our web site at www.clem-mer.net to read the others.)Here’s how we express our expectations of each other andthe people we consider adding to our team:

We are insatiable learners on asteep continuous personal growthcurve. We have a good balance ofactive and reflective learning.Active learning comes from explor-ing, searching, creating, and exper-imenting. Reflective learning comesfrom taking time out of daily oper-ational pressures to review howwell our personal, team, and orga-nizational improvement activitiesare working and to plan furtherchanges. We are avid readers,researchers, and students in thefields of organization improve-ment, leadership development, andpersonal effectiveness.

We are highly innovative and veryagile. We set short-term plans, butuse strategic opportunism as welearn our way to new products andservices. Our journey of discoverymeans we always have an abun-dance of trials, pilots, and experi-ments underway in our restlesssearch for the pathways that willtake us ever closer to our visionand purpose. We share what'sworking, and what's not, veryopenly with each other to advanceour team and corporate knowledgeand experience.

❝❝

Leaders see beyond their own

limitations — and those of others. They

develop people into what they could be.

Lead to SucceedA true Master is not the one with the most students,

but one who creates the most Masters. A true leader is not the one

with the most followers, but one who creates the most leaders.

Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations With God: An Uncommon Dialogue

C O A C H ’ S C O R N E R


Iwas doing fairly well inGrades 1 to 3, especially inreading. Then, in Grade 4, I had a terrible teacher who

made school so unhappy andunappealing that she almostcaused me to drop out. (Ofcourse, I would have waitedanother few years to make it official.) But in Grades 5 and 6, Iwas reclaimed by the nurturing of

Mrs. Westman. I vividly rememberher saying after I’d read a com-position to the class, “Someday Iwon’t be surprised to see yourname on a book.”

Her encouraging words simmeredin my subconscious for years andhelped me to see new possibilitiesfor myself. Twenty years later myfirst book, The VIP Strategy:Leadership Skills for ExceptionalPerformance, was published. It

was a real pleasure to presenther with one of the very firstcopies — inscribed with a warmthank-you message. Her familyand the local paper ensured thatshe got the recognition she sorichly deserved.

MMOST PEOPLE SEE OTHERS as they are; a leader seesthem as they could be. Leaders like Mrs. Westmansee beyond the current problems and limitationsto help others see their own possibilities. It’s a keypart of their own growth and development.

We continue to grow when we help others growand develop. That’s the second half of the two-part cycle of growing and developing. (The first isour own growth and development, since we can’tdevelop others if our own growth is stunted.)These two parts depend upon and support eachother. We develop ourselves while we’re develop-ing others. By developing others, we develop ourselves further. This allows us to develop othersstill further…. the growth cycle spirals everupward. The reverse is also true. By failing todevelop myself and others, my growth and development cycle spins downward.


TGROWING OTHERS

THE ART OF DEVELOPING others is the art of assistingtheir self-discovery. Writing in the 15th century,Galileo put it this way: “You cannot teach a mananything; you can only help him to find it withinhimself.” As the ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu wrote: “Superior leaders get things done withvery little motion. They impart instruction notthrough many words, but through a few deeds.They keep informed about everything but interferehardly at all. They are catalysts, and though thingswould not get done as well if they weren’t there,when they succeed they take no credit. Andbecause they take no credit, credit never leavesthem.”

In the workplace, managers are generally consid-ered to be responsible for helping employees togrow and develop. The traditional managementview is to get work done through people, butstrong leaders develop people through work.

As managers, team leaders, or team members, wecan’t be much help in developing others if wedon’t really know where they’re trying to go. Oncewe understand that, we can work to align theirdevelopment goals with those of the team or orga-nization. They don’t always match, but generallyit’s not too difficult to bring them together.

A similar approach applies to our parental leader-ship role with teenagers. The deepest love we canshow our sons and daughters is to help them discover their unique purpose and uncover theirspecial talents. That can be especially tough if itdoesn’t match the dreams we may have for them.Nevertheless, our leadership task is to help thembe all that they can be, not what we would like tobe if we were in their place.


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Most often, leaders are ordinary people

with average talent. They just take that

talent to extraordinary levels.

Born to Lead?Contrary to the myth that only a lucky few can ever decipher the

mystery of leadership, our research has shown us that leadership is

an observable, learnable set of practices….it’s a process ordinary people

use when they’re bringing forth the best from themselves and others.

Liberate the leader in everyone, and extraordinary things happen…

good leadership is an understandable and universal process.

James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, The Leadership Challenge: How to Keep Getting

Extraordinary Things Done in Organizations

I

N U R T U R E O V E R N A T U R E

IN ANY FIELD OF endeavor, the final level of mas-tery is to make it look natural. That’s a key reasonwhy so many people believe achievement comesfrom winning the gene pool — either you’re bornwith it or you’re not. And certainly, a tiny numberof athletes, performers, artists, musicians, or lead-ers do seem to succeed without really trying. Butthere’s a much greater number of people — youprobably know a few — who have tremendousnatural talent and do very little with it.

More often than not, leaders are ordinary peoplewith average talent who take it to extraordinarylevels. Basketball superstar Michael Jordan, forexample, wasn’t even able to make his high schoolteam. But through drive and determination, hewas eventually able to develop his skills to legendary levels of performance.


T

As Mark Twain once said, “It usually takes meabout three weeks to prepare a good impromptuspeech.” We don’t see the thousands of hours ofpractice and study that world-class performers putinto their work. When we do see the final perfor-mance, it looks so natural. “They’re so lucky,” wesigh.

It would be far more accurate for me to say, “Ihaven’t chosen to become a great performer, athlete, writer, musician…...” That’s perfectlylegitimate. The intensity and focus ordinary people need to become extraordinary is wellbeyond the price most of us are willing to pay. It’smuch easier to surrender to the Victimitis Virusby saying to ourselves, “I am no good at speaking.Or writing. Or confronting issues. Or technology.Or being on time....”

British historian Edward Gibbon once noted apeculiar characteristic of what many people dismiss as luck: “The winds and the waves arealways on the side of the best navigators.” Ourdevelopment is our choice. And our accumulatedchoices will either prepare us to take advantage ofunexpected opportunities or they will weaken ourabilities and set us up to be victims of change.Our leadership development choices raise us upor drag us down.

Learned Leadership

THE NATURE-VERSUS-NURTURE debate continues torage in the field of leadership development. It’seasy to be confused by those fascinating and rareindividuals who are natural-born leaders. It doesn’t help when books and articles on some ofthe more famous leaders gloss over their warts,personality quirks, doubts, and problems inreaching their high levels of achievement.


WWARREN BENNIS HAS STUDIED hundreds of leaders inevery field of human achievement, written over20 books, and is professor and founding chair ofthe Leadership Institute at the University ofSouthern California. Bennis has concluded:“Biographies of great leaders sometimes read as ifthey entered the world with an extraordinarygenetic endowment, as if their future leadershiprole was preordained. Do not believe it. The truthis that major capacities and competencies of leadership can be learned if the basic desire tolearn them exists.”

The ancient Greek orator Demosthenes providesan inspiring example of how we can choose to beleaders. Faced with the threat of a Macedonianconquest, he rallied his fellow citizens through hisextraordinary abilities as a speaker — despite having a major speech impediment. He overcamethis natural limitation by learning how to talkwith pebbles in his mouth. He trained his voiceby reciting speeches and verses while running orclimbing steep hills. To force himself to stayinside to study and practise, he shaved half hishead. (Today, of course, this might have made hima leader in the world of fashion!)

Another great orator, the Roman statesman andphilosopher Cicero, came along about 100 yearsafter Demosthenes. He provides leadership devel-opment advice that applies as much today as it didin 50 B.C. He listed “neglecting development andrefinement of the mind, and not acquiring thehabit of reading and study” as one of the six worstmistakes of humanity.


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T A K I N G A B R E A K

In the 18th century, twoexplorers set forth with theirships to find the fabledNorthwest Passage that cuts

through the Arctic Circle acrossthe top of North America, con-necting the Atlantic and PacificOceans. Both men knew that thefirst to discover this elusive passage to China and India would find fame and fortune.

Captain John Smith was bold andimpatient. He believed that speedwas critical to winning the raceagainst his rival, Captain HenryJones. Captain Smith and his crewmade record time through theice-filled waters. They rarely con-sulted their charts and maps.They took only quick sextantreadings to plot their position.They had no time or patience forsuch niceties, since they were toobusy sailing their ships.


Meanwhile, Captain Jones and hiscrew kept a brisk pace, but tookregular time out to check theirprogress against what little infor-mation was available in thosevast, uncharted waters. They alsostudied the sea currents andcharted wind directions. The cap-tain and his officers met frequent-ly to pool their information,debate what it all meant, anddecide what direction they shouldtake.

Had Captain Smith witnessedJones’s systematic approach, hewould have laughed heartily. Hewas hundreds of miles ahead andmaking great time. But there wasone small problem: he was head-ing into a deadly trap. He hadventured far down a sea lane thatlooked like an open passage —a passage that Captain Jonescould have told him was a deadend, where the sea was about to

freeze over, and which was themost desolate, God-forsakenplace in the Arctic.

But Jones was unaware of hisrival’s impending doom. He andhis crew sailed steadily onward.As the seas froze, they winteredover in a well-protected area thathad a good food supply. The nextyear they found the Pacific Ocean— and their fame and fortune.

The speedy Captain Smith and hiscrew were never heard fromagain. Decades later their frozenbodies and smashed ships werediscovered by other explorersmapping the region.

Being busy is not the same as being effective.

No matter how hectic life gets,

time spent thinking about the progress

of our growth is well worthwhile.

Reflection and RenewalNay, be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds

within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.

Henry David Thoreau, Walden

TTHIS FICTIONAL STORY ILLUSTRATES a major problemwe encounter again and again in our work withindividuals, teams, and organizations trying tomove to higher levels of performance. It’s theproblem of balancing the speed and pace of dailylife or operations with periodically stepping backto make sure we’re heading in the right direction.

Going nowhere in a hurry is a timeless leadershipproblem that’s been with us for centuries. As thepace of change quickens, it’s easier to fall into thisage-old trap of confusing “busyness” with effec-tiveness. Like the wood-cutter who’s too busychopping to stop and sharpen his ax, we getcaught up in a frantic pace that may be taking usto the wrong destination.

As Anglo-Irish playwright Oscar Wilde wrote in1891, “We live in the age of the overworked, andthe under-educated; the age in which people are soindustrious that they become absolutely stupid.”Over 100 years later, the tradition of industriousstupidity continues. If we’re not paying closeattention, we can get caught running flat out withour head down. We can race down dead-end roadsand right over a cliff. We were too busy running towatch the signs or stop and look at a map.


SSTEPPING BACK, TAKING TIME out, assessing ourdirection and effectiveness, and reflecting on ourprogress is as rare as a proud man asking fordirections. Here are a variety of perspectivesshowing how important reflection is to growingand developing:

The most excellent and divine counsel, the best andmost profitable advertisement of all others, but theleast practiced, is to study and learn how to knowourselves. This is the foundation of wisdom and thehighway to whatever is good.Pierre Charron, 16th-century French philosopher;

Of Wisdom

We forge gradually our greatest instrument for under-standing the world — introspection. We discover thathumanity may resemble us very considerably — thatthe best way of knowing the inwardness of our neighbors is to know ourselves.Walter Lippmann, Pulitzer Prize-winning American

journalist and author

Self-reflection is the school of wisdom.Baltasar Gracián, 17th-century Spanish author

With self-knowledge we lay the groundwork for theinner life without which we’re slave to chance andcircumstance.Vincent Barry, The Dog Ate My Homework: Personal

Responsibility — How We Avoid it and What to do About it

Self-reflection is the first key to becoming aleader…. leaders must be self-directed and self-reflective, listening to their inner voice and takingdirection from their values and vision.Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead:

A Workbook on Becoming a Leader


GROWING POINTS• The popular goals of security, stability, and

predictability are deadly. The closer we get tothese dangerous goals, the more our growth isstunted and learning reduced.

• True and lasting security comes from constantgrowth and development. We can’t managechange, but we can be change opportunists.

• Our development is our choice. Those accu-mulated choices prepare us to take advantageof unexpected opportunities or weaken ourabilities and set us up to be victims of change.Our leadership development choices raise usup or drag us down.

• What I am going to be tomorrow I am becoming today. To get somewhere else, I needto grow into someone else.

• Many discoveries and breakthroughs are madeby accident. The inventors and companies thatare able to capitalize on their “happy accidents”are those that are the most flexible and respon-sive to the unexpected opportunities beforethem.

• We continue to grow when we help othersgrow and develop. Most people see others asthey are; a leader sees them as they could be.The art of developing others is the art of assisting their self-discovery.

• As the pace of change quickens, it’s easy to fallinto the age-old trap of confusing “busyness”with effectiveness. We can get caught up in afrantic pace that may be taking us to the wrongdestination.


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P U T T I N G E M O T I O N S I N M O T I O N

Leaders don’t motivate with rewards and

punishments. Whether at home or

in the workplace, they energize people

to motivate themselves.

Mobilizing andEnergizing

You never know when someone

May catch a dream from you.

You never know when a little word

Or something you may do

May open up the windows

Of a mind that seeks the light…

The way you live may not matter at all,

But you never know, it might.

Helen was running out ofideas. She had tried justabout everything to gether two kids to help

around the house. Her eldest,Tanya, was fourteen going ontwenty-one. At age eleven, Justinseemed to be a noise covered indirt. When they were younger,Helen could get them to do theirjobs by enforcing strict rules orusing threats and punishments.As the kids grew immune to thatapproach, Helen put down thestick and started to danglerewarding carrots in front ofthem.

At one point, she developed a“star system.” This involvedputting a gold star beside the liston the fridge of each householdchore they successfully completed.When they’d accumulatedenough stars, they were rewardedwith treats, cash bonuses, or spe-cial excursions. But the effective-ness of the rewards wore off andHelen had to become increasinglycreative with new incentive pro-grams. Ultimately, it had provedto be a losing battle: Tanya andJustin continued to lose interestin keeping the house neat andtheir chores completed. Helenfound herself consistently nag-ging and yelling at them to getthings done. They just didn’tseem to care.

Paralleling Helen’s frustration athome was what appeared to be asimilar situation at the office:there, too, she had begun tonotice that her group required anincreasing variety of recognitionprograms and financial incentivesto keep them motivated.Whenever a new compensationplan or recognition program wasintroduced, the team’s energylevel perked up and performanceimproved. But soon interestwould wane, energy would drop,and performance would slipagain. It seemed that everyonewas more and more interested in“what’s in it for me.” Pride ofaccomplishment, satisfied cus-tomers, teamwork, and a sense ofmaking a real difference fadedinto the background.

“Are rewards and punishmentstwo sides of the same coin?” shewondered. “If so, it seems to be acoin that decreases in value themore it’s used.”

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M O B I L I Z I N G A N D E N E R G I Z I N G 147

HELEN’S QUESTIONS AND OBSERVATIONS are on theright track. Far too many people try mobilizingand energizing by using different combinations offear or greed. It’s the lazy way out. These aresuperficial approaches that usually create majorlong-term problems.

In my firm’s consulting and leadership develop-ment work, we are often asked for “how-to”approaches to improving morale or motivation.But low motivation or morale are symptoms ofmuch deeper problems. The problem is rooted incombinations of Victimitis, inauthentic leader-ship, low levels of passion and commitment, lackof soul and meaning, weak energy levels, valuesmisalignment, or fuzzy focus.

Certainly, people should be paid fairly. And profit-or gain-sharing programs are powerful ways tobuild partnerships and ownership. But leadingwith incentives (or punishments) to motivate others is often seen as manipulative. It reducesthe value of doing the task for its own reward. Itrobs work of its meaning.

The key to effective motivation is building high-energy environments or experiences that inspireand mobilize people to action. That’s tough work.There are no “cookie cutter” programs that can bedropped in to do it.

JACK WELCH HAS BEEN WIDELY called one of themost effective corporate leaders of his time. AsCEO of General Electric, he transformed it intoone of the world’s largest, most profitable, anddynamic companies. World-renowned for leader-ship development, Welch declares simply, “If youcan’t energize others, you can’t be a leader.” Hemakes a vital point. All too often, the way manyso-called leaders energize others is by leaving theroom. Highly effective leaders energize others.That energy mobilizes people to action.

WWE ARE EITHER PART of the energy problem or partof its solution. There is no neutral zone. We areeither net takers or net contributors of energy toothers. We need to ask those we’re trying to leador influence about our energy leadership. It ismuch less effective to force changes on others andovercome their resistance than to work collabora-tively to build change partnerships.

There are many factors that mobilize and energizeothers. Some of the most important includeappreciation, recognition, thanks, and celebration.These engender feelings of success that are addic-tive. We all want to feel like winners. We all wantto feel we’re making progress that’s being noticed.

Our verbal communication skills also play a vitalpart in how effectively we can mobilize and ener-gize others. Another key factor is participationand teamwork. Working together toward sharedgoals is very energizing.


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PPEOPLE WILL FOLLOW THE rules and marchingorders. But that’s all. Energy, creativity, and extraeffort will be minimal. So will ownership andcommitment. The only passion tyrants and autocrats create are fear, loathing, and the desirefor revenge.

I ONCE SAW A Farcus cartoon that, for me, summedup the problem of the Motivation Myth. A manag-er is pictured at the head of a conference tableaddressing her department. The caption reads:“We need to improve morale. Any of you bone-heads have a good idea?”

The main cause of the manager’s problem seemspretty obvious. She just needs to look in the mir-ror. But the obvious isn’t always so obvious. Rootcauses and symptoms are continuously confused.The manager is treating low morale as a problemto be solved rather than an indicator of muchdeeper issues. Clearly, those deeper problemsinclude her contempt for her people, as well asher forceful personal style. Her approach is like anauto mechanic reporting, “I couldn’t repair yourbrakes, so I made your horn louder.”

H I G H E R P U R P O S E S

Energizing people over the long term means

going beyond appeals to fear and greed.

The Motivation MythIt is the ultimate management conceit that we can motivate people.

Peter Scholtes, team effectiveness consultant and author

After six years at UniversalPictures, Harry Cohnformed Columbia Picturesin 1924. During the fol-

lowing decades he ran the com-pany with an iron fist. His imageas a tyrant was reinforced by theriding whip he kept near his deskto crack for emphasis. Cohn’sform of “motivation” resulted inthe greatest creative turnover ofany major studio. At his funeralin 1958, one observer suggestedthat the 1,300 attendees “had notcome to bid farewell, but to makesure he was actually dead.”

Some parents want their kids tobe independent as long as theydo what they’re told. Some man-agers want their people to beempowered as long as they fol-low directions.

We all know so-called leaderswho believe that “motivation” isgetting others to carry out theirorders. They live by the philoso-phy that firings will continue untilmorale improves. Just do whatyou’re told….and look likeyou’re enjoying it. These forms of“motivation” are based on fearand force. If the punishment isstrong enough and the policingrigid enough, they will lead tocompliance.


WWITH PROBLEMS OF MOTIVATION and morale, the distinction between symptoms and root causes canoften be clarified by understanding the “doing ver-sus being” aspects of mobilizing and energizing.We need to get beyond programs and techniquesthat take a “do to” approach. The big sticks of fear,punishments, and discipline — or the carrots ofincentives and rewards — may work in the shortterm. But to sustain their effectiveness, we need tokeep increasing the beatings or sweeten and varythe incentives. Eventually the beatings will burnpeople out and they will quit. Some will leave andfind other jobs. Many will silently resign and continue to report for work every day.

People should be fairly rewarded for their contri-butions. The absence of money can be demotivat-ing, but its presence doesn’t provide healthy, long-term motivation. Using money or similar types ofincentives to get increased performance turnspeople into self-centered mercenaries who areincreasingly tuned into WIFM (what’s-in-it-for-me). Pride, teamwork, concern for customers,shared values, growing and developing, passion,meaningful work, and the like fade. Thesebecome hollow words that raise “the snicker factor” whenever they are heard.

Effective mobilizing and energizing goes beyond“doing” programs to the “being” or culture of afamily, community group, or organization. Thatculture is a set of shared attitudes and accumulat-ed habits built around “the way we do thingshere.” The culture provides the context or back-drop. And it’s the culture that either energizes orexhausts people.


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R E A D I N G T H E M E T E R

How energized are the people

you seek to mobilize?

Energy SourcesYour first and foremost job as a leader is

to take charge of your own energy and then to help

orchestrate the energy of those around you.

Peter Drucker, professor and author of dozens of bookson economics, management, and leadership

IMAGINE RUSHING TO AN emergency room withsevere stomach cramps. Without any examination,knowledge of your medical history, or questionsabout your symptoms, the doctor who has neverseen you before says, “I know exactly what’swrong,” and prescribes a powerful medication.

In the field of medicine, such treatment withoutdiagnosis would be considered malpractice. Thesame is true in looking for ways to mobilize andenergize others. There are many interconnectedfactors that inhibit or enhance energy. We can’treally motivate others, but we can create high-energy environments that dramatically magnifyand expand the energy of individuals, teams, ororganizations.

In many ways, the Mobilizing and Energizing section of our leadership model (see page 18) isthe product of all the other sections. The level ofenergy found in the people we’re trying to mobi-lize depends largely on how effective we’ve beenin the other dimensions of leadership. Let’s examine each of these in turn.


Focus and ContextOur vision, values, and purpose are at the centerof our being. They are also the wellspring fromwhich our energy flows. Individuals, teams, andorganizations with a strong sense of self, cleardirection, and meaningful purpose have a highdegree of energy. A fuzzy focus or cloudy contextleads to a scattered life and diffused energy.

Responsibility for Choices People who feel victimized and powerless don’thave a lot of energy for change and improvement.Many teams, and sometimes whole organizations,can become badly infected with the VictimitisVirus. This often involves “blame storming” anddeveloping excuses for not taking action since“it’s not our fault.” Turning this situation aroundoften starts with getting people to see the problemand its paralyzing effects. Next steps may involveclarifying what is outside of our control, withinour control, and what we can influence.

AuthenticityAn environment that doesn’t ring true with honesty, integrity, and trust is an environmentthat drains energy. The authenticity of my “changing me to change them” is a key element inmaintaining that environment. It is supported byopenness and constant feedback.

Ayoung boy came homeand told his Dad that theother kids kept stealinghis pencils at school. The

father stomped off to the schoolto complain. “It’s the principle ofthe thing that bothers me most,”he bellowed to his son's teacher.“It’s not a matter of the pencils— I get plenty of those fromwork.”


Passion and CommitmentHigh-energy environments brim with passion anddeep commitment. Humor and fun is often a keypart of this. The laughter index is high and fewpeople suffer from “jest lag.”

Spirit and MeaningMeaningless work that doesn’t connect with adeeper part of us will drain energy. In recountinghow his technology company, Lockheed Martin,survived and eventually prospered after an indus-try downturn reduced their revenues by 50%,CEO Norman Augustine points to a key principlein mobilizing and energizing others: “…the highsentiments always win in the end, the leaders whooffer blood, toil, tears and sweat always get moreout of their followers than those who offer safetyand a good time. When it comes to the pinch,human beings are heroic.”

Growing and DevelopingWhen we align an individual’s personal goals withthose of the family, workgroup, or organization,we tap into huge energy reserves. It’s similar tothe healing process identified by the famous med-ical missionary, Dr. Albert Schweitzer: “The witchdoctor succeeds for the same reason all the rest ofus succeed. Each patient carries his own doctorinside him. They come to us not knowing thetruth. We are best when we give the doctor whoresides within each patient a chance to go towork.” This alignment and energy expansion alsocomes from helping others constantly grow anddevelop.

Benjamin Disraeli oncewrote that “It was notreason that besiegedTroy; it was not reason

that sent forth the Saracen fromthe desert to conquer the world,that inspired the crusades, thatinstituted the monastic orders; itwas not reason that produced theJesuits; above all, it was not rea-son that created the FrenchRevolution. Man is only greatwhen he acts from the passions;never irresistible but when heappeals to the imagination.”


Measuring your energy levelsAt The CLEMMER Group, we designed the following Energy Index (EI) to help leaders dig deeper and uncover theroot causes of why people they are trying to lead may not be mobilized and feel energized. The EI also points toareas that can be strengthened in order to further mobilize or energize a team or organization. The assessment isbased on a five-point scale, where 1 is extremely weak and 5 is extremely strong.

Self-rating is a good place to start with the index. But the clearest picture will emerge by asking the group you’releading to rate each of these areas. Taking that courageous approach is the mark of a leader. It’s a key part ofbuilding commitment and ownership.

❏ We see change as a new challenge and opportunity to grow

❏ We feel hopeful and optimistic and don’t have the Victimitis Virus

❏ We take responsibility for our choices

❏ Our leaders are authentic and provide good examples to follow

❏ We operate with a high degree of honesty and integrity

❏ We give each other regular feedback on personal actions and behavior

❏ We have deep passion and commitment to our cause

❏ We take pride in, and joy from, our work

❏ We persist in the face of setbacks and failures

❏ We are self-disciplined

❏ Our work is meaningful and makes a difference

❏ We regularly devote time to learning and improvement

❏ Our leaders are highly effective coaches who help us develop

❏ We don’t use threats, intimidation, or punishments

❏ Rewards are used to recognize and share success rather than as incentives to manipulate performance

❏ Our leaders have strong verbal communication skills

❏ Our group has many cooperative partnerships and strong relationships

❏ We frequently recognize, appreciate, and celebrate our small wins and significant successes

❏ We move beyond our “reality rut” of current problems to focus on what could be

❏ We have a strong and clear picture of our preferred future (vision)

❏ We have 3 or 4 principles (core values) that guide our behavior

❏ We have a strong sense of purpose

Scoring. 85+: the group is probably very energized. 60 to 84: not very strong; the lowest scoring areas need to beaddressed if the team or organization is going to increase its energy and mobilization. 59 or less: there’s probablya serious morale or motivation problem in the group or organization, and it’s a deep-rooted problem that won’tbe quickly or easily fixed; increasing energy levels starts with systematically addressing the lowest-scoring areas.


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E Q , N O T I Q

Energy is fuelled less by the brain

than the heart.

Emotional IntelligenceIt is with the heart that one sees rightly;

what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Antoine de Saint Exupéry, The Little Prince

OUR SOCIETY ADMIRES STRENGTH and power. Sincethe early games of the ancient Olympics, we’vehad contests of strength, stamina, speed, and thelike. We’ve approached brain power or intellectualabilities in the same way.

We’re in awe of intellectual giants with memory,reasoning, or complex problem-solving abilitiesfar beyond our own. IQ tests were developed tomeasure this intellectual strength and power.We’ve come to believe that highly intelligent people make the best professors, doctors, managers, scientists, and so on. Many peoplebelieve that high IQ and high levels of successand happiness go together.

But many intellectual giants are emotional dwarfs.We all know people who can run mental circlesaround us lesser mortals, but their lives are amess. Many do not suffer fools gladly. Their cutting wit or biting sarcasm often shows an arrogant, superior attitude that arouses resent-ment and reduces cooperation. This usuallyresults in badly damaged relationships, organizations, or families.


SSOMETHING IS MISSING. We know there’s much moreto a successful life than a strong head, we alsoneed a strong heart. Intelligence is only part ofthe equation, we also need to deal with thehuman factors — the humanness in ourselves andothers. We need to deal with emotional factors.

An exciting new field of study is emerging aroundwhat’s being called “emotional intelligence.” Manybooks, studies, and EQ-testing instruments areexploding on the scene. Daniel Goleman, psychol-ogist, author, and New York Times journalist, gotthings going with his international bestseller,Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter MoreThan IQ.

Here are some of the factors that Goleman sees ascontributing to emotional intelligence: “…abilitiessuch as being able to motivate oneself and persistin the face of frustrations; to control impulse anddelay gratification; to regulate one’s moods andkeep distress from swamping the ability to think;to empathize and to hope.”

That’s a great definition of personal effectiveness.It’s also a pretty good outline of many of the keyleadership elements that we’ve been discussingthroughout this book. At a leadership develop-ment workshop, I once introduced Goleman’s definition. One of the participants was a sportspsychologist who helps Olympic athletes improvetheir mental conditioning. He instantly respondedto the quotation with the observation that it was agreat definition of a world-class athlete.

As baseball legend Yogi Berra said, “Success in anysport is 90% physical skills and the other half ismental.” (Nobody ever accused Yogi of being anintellectual giant — nor much of a mathematician— but he knew something about bringing ourhands and head together with our heart.)


AA well-researched book, Emotional Intelligencebrings together the scientific proof that it’s ourattitude more than our aptitude that determinesour altitude. Goleman’s research leads him to con-clude, “At best, IQ contributes about 20 percentto the factors that determine life success, whichleaves 80 percent to other forces.” This is overlyconservative according to EQ researchers andauthors Robert Cooper and Ayman Sawaf. In theirbook, Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence inLeadership & Organizations, they write, “…. IQmay be related to as little as 4 percent of real-world success….over 90 percent may be relatedto other forms of intelligence… it is emotionalintelligence, not IQ or raw brain power alone,that underpins many of the best decisions, themost dynamic and profitable organizations, andthe most satisfying and successful lives.”


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G R E A T E X P E C T A T I O N S

Leaders energize others with optimism,

encouraging them to see things

as they could be.

Rays of HopeIf you ask [people] what they want in a leader, they usually list three things:

direction or vision, trustworthiness, and optimism. Like effective parents,

lovers, teachers, and therapists, good leaders make people hopeful.

Warren Bennis, An Invented Life: Reflections on Leadership and Change

Someone once remarked totelevision pastor RobertSchuller, “I hope you liveto see all your dreams

fulfilled.”

“I hope not,” Schuller replied,“because if I live and all mydreams are fulfilled, I'm dead.It’s unfulfilled dreams that keepyou alive.”


HOPE IS ONE OF the most powerful sources of energy ever known to humankind. Without hope,we slip from living to just existing. Hope chargesour spirit and draws us forward to a better tomor-row. Hope helps us see beyond the problems tothe possibilities. Hope gives life meaning. Hopehelps us take responsibility for our choices. Hopestretches us and energizes our continuous growthand development. Hope urges us to go against theodds and do what everyone knows can’t be done.

All the great achievements and tiny triumphsrecorded through the history of civilization beganas a hope — a dream in someone’s mind. Anancient Chinese proverb teaches that “happinessis someone to love, something to do, and some-thing to hope for.”

TThe phrase “false hope” is really a contradictionin terms. Hope can’t be false. It might be unful-filled, but it can’t be false. If hope makes me try alittle longer, strive a little further, live a littlemore, dream a little more clearly, or raise myexpectations a little higher, how can it be false?

But in the face of despair, negativity, and feelingsof helplessness, being hopeful is hard work. It’seasier to reflect a negative environment and be apessimist. It doesn’t take as much effort to give uphope and become a victim. Then it’s somebodyelse’s fault. It doesn’t take much courage to be acynic who sees things only as they are, not asthey could be.

The 19th-century American abolitionist HenryWard Beecher defined the feeble-mindedness ofthe pessimist or cynic as “one who never sees agood quality in a man and never fails to see a badone. He is the human owl, vigilant in darknessand blind to light, mousing for vermin, and neverseeing noble game. The cynic puts all humanactions into two classes — openly bad and secretly bad.”

A leader brings hope. That doesn’t mean puttingon rose-colored glasses, painting on a happy face,and avoiding problems by spouting clichés onpositive thinking. Highly effective leaders helpothers deal with the reality of current problemsby focusing their attention on what’s possible.They use the dream of what could be as a magnetto draw everyone forward.

Highly energized cultures are charged with hope-fulness and optimism. It’s the dynamic power thatmobilizes people to make the improbable possi-ble. It’s the mark of a leader.


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L E T ’ S T A L K

Compelling communication is essential to

energizing and mobilizing others.

Words WorthThe man who can think but does not know how to express

what he thinks is at the same level as he who cannot think.

Pericles, leader of Athens circa 450 B.C.

It was the dead of winter inthe middle of a very coldsnap. As we approacheddeparture time, judging by

all the activity outside the aircraft,we weren’t likely to leave ontime. In a few minutes the cap-tain announced, “You can see alot of activity on our left wing.This is a maintenance crew tryingto replace a defective fuel pump.We find it’s best to fix a problemlike that on the ground beforewe’re in the air. The good news isthat there is another fuel pumpavailable here at the airport. Thebad news is that it will delay ourdeparture by about 30 minutes.”


Within 10 minutes the captainwas making another announce-ment, “Folks, you can see the lit-tle truck on the right coming inwith our fuel pump.Unfortunately, this is work thatcan only be done with gloves off.Working with jet fuel on your fin-gers in this freezing weather isextremely difficult and takinglonger than expected.” We startedto feel sorry for those heartyheroes working in such toughconditions to get us underway!

The captain continued to give usupdates on progress every 10 to15 minutes. When he announcedthe problem was fixed and wewere finally ready to go — some90 minutes late — a cheer wentup from the passengers.

As late as we were, I am surethere wasn’t a single complaintamong my fellow passengers.That’s because the captain treat-ed us like adult customers — not “the cattle in the back” whodon’t really need to know what’sgoing on.

CCOMMUNICATION IS ONE OF the key marks of aleader. Like motivation, it’s also a word that’soverused and misunderstood. For example, whatare often called “communication problems” inmany groups or organizations are really problemsof process, system, or structure. People don’tcommunicate because the way they are organizeddoesn’t let them do it effectively.

The strength of our communications spring, inpart, from our personal values. The airline captaincommunicated with us from values that said wewere important enough and responsible enoughto be told what was going on — even if the newswas bad.

If my values include a sense of superiority overothers, I won’t bother communicating with “thepeons.” If I am arrogant, I may call my loud, one-way horn-blowing “communication.” If I havedisdain for others, the only thing my tone ofvoice may arouse is resentment, hostility, ordefensiveness.

If I see customers, suppliers, or organizationmembers in other departments as interruptions oradversaries rather than people, I’ll brush them offwith minimum effort. If I am suspicious and dis-trustful, I will parcel out information on a “needto know” basis. If I think all the EQ (emotionalintelligence) research is hogwash, I won’t botherto develop my verbal communication skills.


WWith few exceptions, highly effective leaders havevery strong verbal (and often written) communi-cation skills. They connect with people. Sinceleadership deals with emotions, energy, and spirit,verbal communication skills have a huge role toplay in mobilizing and energizing.

No matter how “right” a vision, deeply held principles, or purpose may be, they won’t mobilizeothers if they can’t be effectively communicated.That means moving beyond dry logic, sterile print-ed statements, or speeches read with all the passionof a bored old professor giving the same old lectureto a group of equally bored young students.

Highly effective leaders transfer their energy andpassion to the people they’re trying to mobilizewith words that paint exciting pictures, ring true,fire the imagination, or touch the spirit. Like theleader, their words are charged with energy.


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J U S T R E W A R D S

Celebration and appreciation is a

powerful energy source.

Giving ThanksWe believe that what is rewarding gets done.

We can never pay people enough to care — to care

about their products, services, communities,

or families, or even the bottom line.

True leaders tap into people’s hearts and

minds, not merely their hands and wallets.

James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, The Leadership Challenge: How to Keep Getting

Extraordinary Things Done in Organizations


Arden Barker had planteda 50-acre field of wheatthat was now golden-brown, very full, and

ready for harvest. It was a sightto touch the heart of any farmer.When his Uncle Harry came tovisit, Arden proudly took him outto look at the field of wheat.Harry looked around, put hishand over his eyes to peer intothe distance, and fixed his gazeon a boulder that had been too

large to move in the middle ofthe field. “Is that a stone on thehill?” he asked. He said nothingabout the field of wheat. Ardenwas crushed by his lack of enthusiasm.

The Uncle Harry incident becamethe subject of discussion at manyBarker family dinners thereafter.A few years later, their daughter,Brenda, had just finished cuttingand trimming the family’s hugelawn. Arden came home and sur-veyed her work from the kitchen

window. “You missed a patchunder the trees,” he pointed out.Brenda came over to him, putone arm around his waist, andher other hand over her eyes topeer off into the distance andasked, “Is that a stone on thehill?”


HHIGHLY EFFECTIVE LEADERS ENERGIZE others bynoticing and recognizing the field of wheat — notthe stone. They thank, appreciate, recognize, andcelebrate accomplishments.

We all draw a lot of energy from sincere recogni-tion and honest appreciation. It’s like a warm rayof sunshine. On the other hand, we all know (anddread) the compulsive critics who carry big mag-nifying glasses around to get a good close look ateveryone’s imperfections. They seem to feel thattheir mission in life is to ignore the golden fieldof wheat and point out the stones on the hill. Asbosses their attitude is “Your recognition is youget to keep your job.” As spouses it’s “Of course Ilove you; I married you, didn’t I?” As parents it’s“you’re doing fine because you’re not being punished or asked to leave.”

One study showed that 46% of people who quittheir jobs did so because they felt unappreciated.No doubt as many kids and spouses gave up ontheir families for the same reason. A key leader-ship question is whether we’re building a “thankyou” or “spank you” culture.

Paul thought he wasn'tdoing well because henever got any feedbackand his boss seemed con-

stantly dissatisfied with his work.So he began looking for anotherjob. As he was getting close toleaving, the company had a bigconference. Paul was given agold pen and honored for hisoutstanding contributions. After“doing his recognition thing,” thenext day Paul’s boss went rightback to treating Paul like a pieceof furniture. Paul redoubled hisefforts to find another job. A fewmonths later, he was gone to acompany that showed theirappreciation more than onceevery year or two.

I


O

IT’S ALL TOO EASY to confuse our positive feelings orgood intentions about others with actually express-ing our appreciation for their contributions. Butunexpressed good feelings mean nothing to anyoneelse. In other cases, we wait for formal recognitionactivities rather than giving more frequent and personal positive feedback.

Our energy levels are charged from internal andexternal sources. Highly self-directed people havestrong inner resources from which they drawtheir energy. But most people’s energy levels arehighly dependent on the responses they get fromothers, such as teachers, parents, spouses, bosses,team members, or peers that they look to fordirection or support. Too many people drain theenergy of others with criticism, pessimism, andapathy. Highly effective leaders boost the energyof others with their optimism, passion, and appre-ciation. They work hard to give people early andfrequent tastes of success. The recognition andcelebration recharges everyone and makes themeager to do more.

OUR OWN FEELINGS OF accomplishment are oftenmatters of perception. It’s easy to focus on whatwe haven’t yet achieved. We can drain our ownenergy by dwelling on our setbacks and disap-pointments.

Little Cindy, a seven-year-old optimist, provides agood model of the balancebetween striving for ever-

bigger roles in life while alsoappreciating the roles we get.Cindy was trying out for a part ina school play. Her mother saidshe really had set her heart onbeing in it, though she was afraidthat Cindy would not be chosen.

On the day the parts were award-ed, Cindy rushed up to her moth-er when she came to pick her up.Cindy’s eyes were shining withpride and excitement. “Guesswhat, Mom?” she shouted, “I'vebeen chosen to clap and cheer.”

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A

A L L T O G E T H E R N O W

Being part of a strong group

energizes each member of that group.

The Power of ParticipationTeams help ordinary people achieve extraordinary results.

Acertain man had severalsons who were alwaysquarreling with oneanother, and, try as he

might, he could not get them tolive together in harmony. So hedetermined to convince them oftheir folly by the followingmeans. Bidding them fetch abundle of sticks, he invited eachin turn to break it across hisknee. All tried and all failed.Then he undid the bundle, andhanded them the sticks one byone, when they had no difficultyat all in breaking them. “There,my boys,” he said, “united, youwill be more than a match foryour enemies; but if you quarreland separate, your weakness willput you at the mercy of thosewho attack you.” Union isstrength.

AS THIS AESOP FABLE illustrates, even weaker people are powerful when united in a strongteam. It’s one of the most effective ways to mobilize and energize people. Teams are a keyway to get people participating and involved.That leads to higher levels of ownership, commitment — and energy.

Numerous studies of change and improvementefforts in North American organizations haveshown that major gains in quality, service, or productivity are driven by huge increases in participation and involvement levels throughoutthose successful organizations.

Effective team leaders develop a group from whatit is into the team that it could be. That takes afocus and skill set that is new and different formost team members and leaders.

Since the beginning of the industrial age, groupleadership has been based on the military modelof command and control. We managed groups bypushing and forcing them. At best, we got com-pliance and conformity. At worst, we set up huge“we/they” gaps that lead to union/managementconflict and lots of other problems. Group owner-


ship, shared goals, creativity, and participationwere minimal. In the bad old days, the boss’s ideaof participation was like the kid who rode thesled downhill and “shared” it with others in hisgroup by letting them take it back up again.

Today’s highly effective teams have a broad own-ership and participation in the team’s tasks andhow everyone works together to achieve them.Team members and leaders share responsibilityfor the effectiveness of the team. One of the bestindicators of the strength of a team is the “We toMe” ratio. How often do team members and leaders use words like “we” and “ours” instead of“I” or “me” and “mine” in their conversations?

Despite all the “team talk” of recent years, the factis that few groups today are real teams. Too oftenthey’re unfocused and uncoordinated in theirefforts. It’s a problem that my firm has encoun-tered time and time again in our consulting work,which is why we developed the set of questionsshown at left. This team assessment and planningframework is designed to help newly formedteams come together and get productive quickly— or to assist existing teams in refocusing andrenewing themselves.

Teams develop answers and related action plansaround each question. This approach has provento be much more effective than artificial team situations, outdoor adventures, or theoretical discussions of group dynamics. Bringing a teamtogether with a shared focus and taking action tomake it happen is a powerful way to mobilize andenergize.

❏ Why do we exist (our purpose)?

❏ Where are we going (our vision)?

❏ How will we work together (our values)?

❏ Whom do we serve (internal orexternal customers or partners)?

❏ What is expected of us?

❏ What are our performance gaps(difference between the expecta-tions and our performance)?

❏ What are our goals and priorities?

❏ What’s our improvement plan?

❏ What skills do we need to develop?

❏ What support is available?

❏ How will we track our perfor-mance?

❏ How/when will we review, assess, celebrate, and refocus?


GROWING POINTS• There are many interconnected factors that inhibit or enhance energy. We

can’t really motivate others directly, but we can create high-energy environments that dramatically magnify and expand the energy of individuals, teams, or organizations.

• Effective mobilizing and energizing goes well beyond “doing” programs tothe “being” or culture of a team, organization, or any group, including afamily. That culture is a set of shared attitudes and accumulated habitsaround “the way we do things here.” The culture provides the context orbackdrop that either energizes or exhausts people.

• We use our intellect or IQ to manage with the head. We use our emotionsor emotional intelligence (EQ) to lead with the heart. EQ is much moreimportant than IQ in predicting personal or organizational success.

• Hope is one of the most powerful sources of energy ever known tohumankind. Highly effective leaders help others deal with the reality ofcurrent problems by focusing their attention on what’s possible.

• Highly effective leaders have very strong verbal (and often written) communication skills. They transfer their energy and passion to the people they’re trying to mobilize with words that paint exciting pictures,ring true, fire the imagination, or touch the spirit.

• Highly effective leaders boost the energy of others with their optimism,passion, and appreciation. They thank, appreciate, recognize, celebrate,and work hard to give people early and frequent tastes of success. Thisrecharges everyone and makes them eager to do more.

• Teams are a key way to get people participating and involved. That leadsto higher levels of ownership, commitment — and energy. Team membersand leaders share responsibility for the effectiveness of the team. One ofthe best indicators of the strength of a team is the “We to Me” ratio.

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169

T A K I N G A C T I O N

When is the best time to embark on

our leadership development journey?

How about today?

Grow for ItMr. Meant-To has a comrade,

And his name is Didn’t-Do;

Have you ever chanced to meet them?

Did they ever call on you?

These two fellows live together

In the house of Never-Win,

And I’m told that it is haunted

By the ghost of Might-Have-Been.


LImagine there is a bank thatCredits your account each morning with $86,400.It carries over no balance from day to day.Every evening it deletes whatever part of the balanceYou failed to use during the day.What would you do?Draw out every cent, of course!Each of us has such a bank.Its name is TIME.

Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.Every night it writes off as lost whatever of this youHave failed to invest to good purpose.It carries over no balance.It allows no overdraft.Each day it opens a new account for you.Each night it burns the day’s deposits; the loss is yours.

There is no going back.There is no drawing against the "tomorrow."You must live in the present on today’s deposits.Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health,Happiness, and success!The clock is running.Make the most of today.

Treasure every moment that you have!And remember that time waits for no one.Yesterday is history.Tomorrow is a mystery.Today is a gift.That’s why it’s called, “the present.”

Anonymous

Arecurring nightmarehaunted Peter to re-examine and change theaimless and drifting

course of his life. In his baddream he was standing before asevere judge and disapprovingjury. “You are charged with wast-ing your life,” the judge bellowedharshly down to Peter standingbefore the high bench. “How doyou plead?”

Restraining himself from fleeingthe courtroom, Peter was finallyforced to whisper, “Guilty.” Heappeared ready to say more,then stood lost in thought.

The clock ticked steadily on thecourthouse wall. “I always hadthe best of intentions,” Peterbegan slowly. “I just never gotaround to translating them intoaction. There was always tomor-row. But tomorrow never cameand the world went speeding by. I ran out of time. I guess, after allis said and done, a lot has beensaid, but only a little has beendone.”

LOOKING BACK, WE CAN all point to times in ourlives that seem wasted. In some cases, those timeswere a pause in the action. Perhaps it was time toregroup and take a different course or rest beforetrying again. The danger is if the time-out turnsinto just-putting-in-time.

If we fail to continuously grow, change, and devel-op, then precious life is wasted. As the Americanwriter Elbert Hubbard warned, “The recipe for per-petual ignorance is to be satisfied with your opin-ions and content with your knowledge.”

170 G R O W F O R

I T

G R O W F O R I T 171

TTO KNOW IF I am growing the distance, I need tobe able to answer three basic questions:

1. Where do I want to go?

2. Where am I now?

3. What do I need to change or improve to close the gap?

Let’s recap how we find the answers.

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P R O G R E S S C H E C K

Success isn’t measured by how far we’ve got,

but by the distance we’ve traveled

from where we started.

Am I Growing the Distance?After climbing a great hill, one only finds that

there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here

to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me,

to look back on the distance I have come. But I can rest

only for a moment, for with freedom comes responsibilities,

and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended.

Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

U

MQuestion 1.

Where do I want to go?MANY PEOPLE KNOW WHAT they don’t want; farfewer know what they do want.

Confucius said, “If one takes no thought aboutwhat is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand.”Failing to stake out our preferred future andsteadily work toward that distant dream is onereason “sudden changes” take so many people bysurprise. The resulting crisis can be especiallydevastating when we’re not focused on what weultimately want to achieve.

It takes a lot of hard and constant work to under-stand where we want to go. It’s wrapped up withwhat we believe in and why we exist. That’s whyvision, values, and purpose form the interconnect-ed Focus and Context that is at the center of ourbeing (and our leadership model; see page 18). Ihope this book has brought you closer to answer-ing these core questions and defining your distance at this stage of your life’s journey.

If you’d like further “how to” steps and ideas onFocus and Context, see chapters 7 to 9 in my pre-vious book, Pathways to Performance; you’ll finddozens of pointers and suggestions (“Pathwaysand Pitfalls”). For more reference information, seethe Appendix of this book on page 181.

Question 2.

Where am I now?UNDERSTANDING WHERE I AM now is also a big challenge. It calls for the courage and honesty tosquarely face my strengths and my weaknesses,my successes and my setbacks. It means I need tocombine inner reflection with outer feedback.That’s not easy. It’s far easier to be a victim andblame others for where I am in my life right now.

172 G R O W F O R I T

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AG R O W F O R I T 173

As the Italian writer Ugo Betti put it, “This free willbusiness is a bit terrifying. It’s almost pleasanter toobey, and make the most of it.”

It’s also easier to delude myself into believing I amfurther along my path than I really am. I hopeGrowing the Distance has helped to enrich your personal assessment and increase your awareness of where you are now.

Question 3.

What do I need to change or improve to close the gap?Weep not that the world changes. Did it keep a

stable, changeless state, it were cause indeed to weep.

William Cullen Bryant, 19th-century American poet and critic

Life is Change“I hate all this change,” Dirkshouted angrily at the TV newsanchor. “Why can’t things just staythe same?” He threw a pillow atthe TV screen and clicked it offwith a snort.

Suddenly a hissing noise arosefrom the corner of the room andgreen, shimmering mist filled theair. Dirk stood in shock as a one-foot-tall, wrinkled old manemerged from the glowing cloud.The tiny, grizzled fellow had along flowing white beard and wasdressed from head to toe ingreen. His eyes twinkled with mis-chief as he flashed a gap-toothedgrin. “Hi, I am Mike. I can takeyou to a place where people don’thave to deal with change andthings stay the same all thetime.”

Before Dirk could say a word, thelittle elf drew a handful ofsparkling green dust from his vestpocket. With an impish smirk anda big wink, he threw the powderat Dirk. With the hissing soundfilling his hears, Dirk wasengulfed in the green, twinklingfog. Still unable to see throughthe emerald haze, he heard Mikesay, “Here we are. Here’s a placewhere things stay the same andpeople don’t have to deal withchange.”

The elf blew away the mist. Theywere standing on the lush greengrass of a well-trimmed grave-yard. Neat, polished gravestonesstretched far out to the horizon.

Continued on next page...

AS I POINTED OUT in Chapter One (“The Way ofthe Leader”), we can’t manage change. For histor-ical proof, we need look no further than the collapse of the old Soviet Union — probably the single biggest “change management” failure of the20th century. With highly centralized planning,the politburo tried to control the lives of an entireblock of nations. There were to be few surprisesand activities that weren’t in the official plan.Bureaucratic organizations often try to do thesame thing. So do many static, low-growth indi-viduals. We need to be on guard against our ownrigid thinking and “hardening of the attitudes.”

The faster the world changes around us, the further behind we fall by just standing still. If therate of external change exceeds our rate of inter-nal growth, just as the day follows night, we willsurely be changed. To the change-blind, with theirstunted growth, it will happen suddenly andseemingly “out of the blue.”

W“Life is change,” the aged elf saidwith a chuckle as he leapt to thetop of a headstone. “It’s one ofnature’s mighty laws. Eons ago Ihad this conversation with my oldbuddy, Heraclitus, and told himthat change is the only thingthat's permanent.”

The elf grimaced playfully. “Ofcourse, he took the credit for saying that.”

“Anyway,” he continued, “it’s atimeless principle. People whoaren’t changing and growingaren’t living. Growth is one ofnature’s vital signs. It showsyou’re alive. Once you stopchanging and growing, you’d bet-ter check your pulse.”


Change forces choices. If we’re on the grow, we’llembrace many changes and find the positive inthem. It’s all in where we choose to put our focus.Even change that hits us in the side of the head asa major crisis can be full of growth opportunities— if we choose to look for them. I hope Growingthe Distance helps you move further towardembracing and thriving on change. It’s key to arich and full life.

WE DON’T ALWAYS GET to choose the changes thatcome into our lives. But we do get to choose howto respond.

In my workshops and speaking engagements,when working with people who feel under siege bynegative, unwanted change, I often show theChinese symbol for “crisis.” It provides a starkexample of the timeless importance of makingchoices. Apparently, the top character in the two-part symbol reads as darkness, disaster, and danger. The bottom character reads as opportunity,renewal, and rebirth. (It could be a lot of swearingfor all I know; but I have had this interpretationconfirmed by a number of people who can readChinese.)

Many people or organizations who have success-fully weathered a serious crisis — at least, thosewho didn’t give in to the dark forces of despairand Victimitis — look back years later and pointto that event as a significant turning point. Mostwould rather not go through that pain again, butit was a key part of their growth.

Crisis can be a danger that weakens or destroysus. Or crisis can be a growth opportunity. Thechoice is ours. Whichever we choose — we’reright about that crisis. We make it our reality.

Change is life. Successfully dealing with changemeans choosing to continuously grow and develop. Failing to grow is failing to live.

(Continued from page 173)


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T H A T W H I C H D O E S N O T K I L L U S

Each of us has to struggle along our own

path to personal growth. The effort, although

sometimes painful, makes us stronger.

Personal PathwaysThe process of spiritual growth is an effortful and difficult one.

This is because it is conducted against a natural resistance,

against a natural inclination to keep things the way

they were, to cling to the old maps and old ways of

doing things, to take the easy path.

M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

THROUGHOUT Growing the Distance, I have emphasized that we all need to be leaders.Personal, career, and family success is a productof strong leadership. Leadership is an action, nota position. It’s a way of being that moves from theinside out to guide our way of doing things.

A timeless principle of inside-out leadership isfound in continuous personal growth. When U.S.Supreme Court associate justice Oliver WendellHolmes Jr. was hospitalized at the age of 92,President Roosevelt went to visit him. He foundHolmes reading a Greek primer. “Why are youreading that?” the president asked. The greatjurist replied, “Why, Mr. President, to improve mymind.”


CONTINUOUS PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT means weoften outgrow our own standards and what wepreviously thought was acceptable. A dull authoronce complained to William Dean Howells, a19th-century editor of the Atlantic Monthly (heencouraged a number of writers, including MarkTwain and Henry James), “I don’t seem to write aswell as I used to.”

“Oh yes, you do...indeed you do,” Howells reas-sured him, “It’s your taste that is improving.”

WE NEED TO FIND the right combination of activities — reflection, networking, participatingin learning events, training, discussions, takingon new assignments and responsibilities, experi-menting, or whatever — to keep us stretchingand growing.

Reading is a powerful way to stretch our mindsand keep growing. Not all readers are leaders, butmost lifelong leaders are avid readers. A Galluppoll found that high-income people read an average of 19 books per year. That compares to1.9 books per year in the general population — a10-fold difference!

Charles William Eliot served as president ofHarvard University during the 19th century. Ofbooks, he said, “[they] are the quietest and mostconstant of friends; they are the most accessibleand wisest of counselors, and the most patient ofteachers.”

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to thebody,” declared the 18th-century writer, SirRichard Steele. I heartily agree. As an author, ofcourse, I’ll admit to a little bias on the subject. I encourage you to look at my recommended reading list on page 183.

C


CONTINUOUS LEARNING, GROWING, and developinghelps us find the path that is personal and uniqueto each of us. Ways of doing things — whetherthat’s operating a machine, using a software program, dealing with a customer, managing aprocess, cooking a meal, or resolving a conflict —depend upon tools and techniques. But there areno tools or techniques for ways of being. We allneed to keep searching, growing, and developingthose ways that are true to our inner selves andtake us where we want to go.

There are no quick-and-easy formulas to leader-ship development. In his book, The Heart Aroused,poet David Whyte illustrates how difficult it canbe to find our own way: “In my experience, themore true we are to our own creative gifts the lessthere is an outer reassurance or help at the begin-ning. The more we are on the path, the deeper thesilence in the first stages of the process.Following our path is in effect a kind of going offthe path, through open country, there is a certainearly stage when we are left to camp out in thewilderness, alone, with few supporting voices.Out there in the silence we must build a hearth,gather the twigs, and strike the flint for the fireourselves...if we can see the path laid out for us,there is a good chance it is not our path: it isprobably someone else’s we have substituted forour own. Our own path must be deciphered everystep of the way.”

The MothA man found the cocoon of anemperor moth. He took it home sothat he could watch the moth comeout of the cocoon. On that day asmall opening appeared; he sat andwatched the moth for several hoursas it struggled to force its bodythrough that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making anyprogress. It appeared as if it had got-ten as far as it could and it could gono farther. It just seemed to be stuck.

Then the man, in his kindness, decid-ed to help the moth, so he took apair of scissors and snipped off theremaining bit of the cocoon. Themoth then emerged easily. But it hada swollen body and small, shriveledwings.

The man continued to watch themoth because he expected that, atany moment, the wings wouldenlarge and expand to be able tosupport the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened. In fact, the littlemoth spent the rest of its life crawlingaround with a swollen body and shriv-eled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness andhaste did not understand was thatthe restricting cocoon and the strug-gle required for the moth to getthrough the tiny opening was theway of forcing fluid from the body ofthe moth into its wings so that itwould be ready for flight once itachieved its freedom from thecocoon.

Freedom and flight would only comeafter the struggle.

By depriving the moth of a struggle,he deprived the moth of health.Sometimes struggles are exactly whatwe need in our life. If we were to gothrough our life without any obsta-cles, we would be crippled. We wouldnot be as strong as we could havebeen.

Anonymous

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W178 G R O W F O R I T

Success requires thought and action.

Get Growing

A CALL TO ACTION

A parrot talks much but flies little.

Wilbur Wright, American aviation pioneer

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE fail to grow the distance?

Some people fail because they do but don’t think.They are like the hyperactive entrepreneur whoburst into a travel agent’s office and urgentlydemanded a ticket. “Where do you want to go?”the agent asked him. “I don’t care,” he retortedbreathlessly. “Just give me a ticket! I’ve got business everywhere!” Since an action is only asstrong as its “weakest think,” I hope Growing theDistance is helping you think more deeply aboutwhere you want to go, where you are now, andwhat you need to grow next.

On the other hand, many unsuccessful peoplethink but don’t do. These people know all the theories. They can quote chapter, verse, phrase,and story from leadership and personal effective-ness books, magazines, and speakers. They arewalking professors of personal growth. But theirexperiences are all conceptual. They know, butdon’t act on their knowledge. They are like an“expert” in love and marriage who has never evenhad a date.

N O E X C U S E S

N


What Seeds Are WePlanting?

Afarmer prayed ferventlyevery night for a finecrop. He pleaded forcrops as fine as his neigh-

bor’s. After one night of particu-larly vigorous prayer, the Lordfinally replied: “Ben, how can Igive you a harvest? You didn’tplant any seeds last spring.”

Now is the time to prepare forour next harvest. We can’t waituntil harvest time to plant theseeds. We can’t strike a bargainto plant seeds once we seewhether the harvest is worth theeffort. Harvest time will arrivewhether we’re ready or not. Nowis the time to plant the seeds forthe coming harvests.

NOW IS THE TIME for action. Now is the time tomove from where we are to where we want to be.Now is the time to grow toward our distantdreams. That takes courage and discipline. It’s fareasier to be a victim and fall back on excuses —we’re too old, it’s too late, we’ve missed our bigchances in life, or today’s opportunities aren’t asgood as they used to be.

Such Victimitis leads straight to Pity City. If we’renot careful, we’ll grow increasingly bitter and resis-tant to change as we regret what might have been.If we’re going to live to the fullest, we need to bethoroughly used up before we leave this earth.Countless people through the ages who awoke latein life have shown that it’s never too late.

There’s still time. If not now, when?

A


LET’S STAY IN TOUCHAS THE FROG SAID while he sat on the lily pad,“Time’s fun when you’re having flies.” As you’vebeen reading Growing the Distance, the skies maynot have parted to reveal the angelic hosts con-veying some blinding new insight to you. Evenso, if you found some or all of this book useful,please let me and other readers know what wasmeaningful and what you’ve done as a result. I’dreally like to know what insights or experiencesGrowing the Distance triggered for you. Please stayin touch by joining our Growing the DistanceListServ Discussion Group on our web site (seepage 185).

In the meantime, may you keep growing day byday. May you never close the gap between whereyou are and where you want to be.

May you keep growing the distance.

Perseverance

We must not hope to be mowers,

And to gather the ripe gold ears,

Unless we have first been sowers

And watered the furrows with tears.

It is not just as we take it,

This mystical world of ours,

Life’s field will yield as we make it

A harvest of thorns or of flowers.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A P P E N D I X A 181

A P P E N D I X A

MORE PRACTICAL, HOW-TO ADVICE ON

PERSONAL GROWTH FROM JIM CLEMMER

Jim’s previous international bestseller, Pathways to Performance: A Guide toTransforming Yourself, Your Team, and Your Organization, weaves together “thehigh-performance rope” of personal effectiveness, leadership development,and organizational improvement. Readers of Growing the Distance will findthat the following sections in Pathways to Performance provide further “how-to” advice and practical examples:

Strengthening Personal Focus and Context (Vision, Values, and Purpose)

Passion: A Renewable Energy Source (pp 60-62); Personal Context: Self-Leadership

(pp 65-68); Personal Visioning Pathways and Pitfalls (pp 84-87); Our Values

Hierarchy (pp 89-91); Clarifying Your Personal Principles (Values) (pp 91-92);

Pathways and Pitfalls to Personal Principles (pp 103-105); Personal Purpose

(pp 108-109); Pathways and Pitfalls to Personal Purpose (pp 115-117).

Personal Improvement Planning, Process, and Discipline

Are You Interested in Leadership or Committed to Becoming a Leader? (pp 47-49);

Successful Change Flows From Learning, Growth, and Development (pp 185-186);

Your Personal Improvement Process (pp 192-193); Discipline: Getting Hooked on

the Improvement Habit (p 193); Pathways and Pitfalls to Personal Improvement

Planning (pp 195-198).

Personal Measurement and Feedback Systems

You Can’t Build a Team or Organization Different From You (pp 40-43);

Measurement and Feedback (pp 226-227); Feedback: An Essential Element of

Learning and Improvement (pp 230-231); Pathways and Pitfalls to Personal

Measurement and Feedback (pp 235-237).

Establishing Personal Goals and Priorities, Getting Organized, and Managing Time

You Can’t Build a Team or Organization Different From You (pp 40-43); Taking It

Personally (pp 167-168); Personal Goals and Priorities (pp 168-170); Personal Time

and Organization (pp 170-173); Personal Pathways and Pitfalls (pp 176-180).

182 A P P E N D I X B

A P P E N D I X B

Pathways to Performance: A Guide to Transforming Yourself, Your Team, and Your Organization BY JIM CLEMMER

An array of practical examples, how-to steps, and routes to inspire andinstruct transformation efforts. A central leadership theme runningthroughout the book is “you can't build a team or organization that's dif-ferent from you.” Pathways to Performance pulls together personal effec-tiveness, leadership development, and organizational improvement. It isloaded with hundreds of practical how-to points ("Pathways and Pitfalls")

in two parallel paths – strategies for team or organization improvement, along withtheir complementary techniques for personal transformation.

Firing on all Cylinders: The Service/Quality System for High-Powered Corporate Performance BY JIM CLEMMER

Based on the experiences of hundreds of public sector and business organiza-tions improving their service/quality to master an even more demandingworld. Firing on all Cylinders uniquely brings together three organizationalperformance fields: 1. Customer Service; developing high perceived value andresponsiveness, 2. Quality Improvement; reducing defects and mistakes whileincreasing productivity through improved process and system control, and

3. Organization Development; building leadership skills and sustaining cultural change.

To read the Introduction, excerpts, pricing and ordering information, along with comments and feedback on Pathways to Performance or Firing on all Cylinders, clickon “Jim’s Books” at The CLEMMER Group’s web site (www.clemmer.net). Or call toll-free (888) 925-GROW (4769) for more information. Audio cassette tapes of Firing onall Cylinders, with Jim Clemmer reading key book sections, are also available.

Substantial Discounts Available for Multiple Copiesof Growing the DistanceOrganization-Wide DistributionAlthough highly applicable to people with roles and titles like manager, supervisor, or execu-tive, Growing the Distance is also applicable to a much broader audience. The book was writtento be distributed in quantity by executives, managers, and training professionals attempting tohelp people throughout their organizations:• embrace personal growth and development as a key to dealing with continuous and unpre-

dictable change• provide a strong base for leadership development programs• build a common foundation of values around its timeless principles• establish a broader “context of being” for training programs teaching technical, process, or

behavioral “skills of doing”• bring teams together with a common language and set of values• help everyone in the organization become leaders • nurture ongoing personal growth and development

Growing the Distance also makes a great gift for:young people getting started in life • someone contemplating career changes and choices •people wrestling with major change or a crisis • someone who’s lost their job or had it dramat-ically changed • people feeling unfocused and listless • managers, entrepreneurs, and execu-tives looking to increase their leadership effectiveness • people “on the grow” always lookingfor personal development • customers, suppliers, distributors, dealers, and other partners

Major discounts are available for multiple copies of Growing the Distance. Visit The CLEMMER Group’sweb site (www.clemmer.net) or call toll-free (888) 925-GROW (4769) for more information.

A P P E N D I X C 183

A P P E N D I X CJIM’S RECOMMENDED READING LISTThe following books are leading edge, old favorites, or classics hand-picked from my personallibrary. I have found them especially helpful in my writing, consulting, business building, and per-sonal development. In the Recommended Resources section of our web site (www.clemmer.net),you will find many more recommended books. I periodically update the list with new recommen-dations. I hope some of these books help you to continue growing your distance.

Personal DevelopmentBarry, Vincent. The Dog Ate My Homework: Personal Responsibility - How We Avoid It and What to Do About

It. Kansas City: Andrews and McMeel, 1997.

Bolles, Richard Nelson. What Color is Your Parachute? A Practical Manual for Job Hunters and Career Changers. (Annual Edition). Berkeley: Ten Speed, (Updated Annually).

Bolles, Richard N. The Three Boxes of Life and How to Get Out of Them: An Introduction to Life/Work Planning. Berkeley: Ten Speed, 1981.

Bristol, Claude M. The Magic of Believing. New York: Pocket, 1969.

Bristol, Claude M. and Harold Sherman. TNT: The Power Within You. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall, 1954.

Carnegie, Dale. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1975.

Carnegie, Dale. How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1964.

Carnegie, Dale. The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking. Rev. ed. Ed. Dorothy Carnegie. Garden City: Carnegie, 1977.

Carnegie, Dorothy. Don't Grow Old - Grow Up! New York: Dutton, 1956.

Covey, Stephen R. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1989.

Covey, Stephen R., A. Roger Merrill and Rebecca R. Merrill. First Things First: To Live, to Love, to Learn, to Leave a Legacy. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1994.

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: HarperPerennial, 1991.

Garfield, Charles. Peak Performers: The New Heroes of American Business. New York: Morrow, 1986.

Garfield, Charles A. with Hal Zina Bennett. Peak Performance: Mental Training Techniques of the World’s Greatest Athletes. Los Angeles: Tarcher, 1984.

Jensen, Peter. The Inside Edge: High Performance Through Mental Fitness. Toronto: Macmillan, 1992.

Mandino, Og. A Better Way to Live. New York: Bantam, 1991.

Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth.New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978.

Peter, Dr. Laurence J. and Bill Dana. The Laughter Prescription: How to Achieve Health, Happiness, and Peaceof Mind Through Humor. New York: Ballantine, 1982.

Rogers, George L. ed. Benjamin Franklin’s The Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful Living. 2nd Ed. Eden Prairie: Acorn, 1990.

Seligman, Martin E. P. Learned Optimism. New York: Knopf, 1991.

Ziglar, Zig. See You at the Top. Rev. ed. Gretna: Pelican, 1984.

Ziglar, Zig. Over the Top: Moving from Survival to Stability, from Stability to Success, from Success to Significance. Nashville: Oliver-Nelson, 1994.

Ziglar, Zig. Top Performance: How to Develop Excellence in Yourself and Others. New York: Berkeley, 1987.

Personal Development – FictionCavicchio, Dan. Gardens from the Sand: A Story About Looking for Answers and Finding Miracles. New York:

HarperCollins, 1994.

Chilton, David. The Wealthy Barber: The Common Sense Guide to Successful Financial Planning. Toronto: Stoddart, 1989.

Chopra, Gautama. Child of the Dawn: A Magical Journey of Awakening. San Rafael: Amber-Allen, 1996.

Clason, George S. The Richest Man in Babylon. New York: Signet, 1988.

Coelho, Paulo. The Alchemist: A Fable about Following Your Dream. Trans. Alan R. Clarke. San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1994.

Mandino, Og. The Choice. Toronto: Bantam, 1986.

Mandino, Og. The Spellbinder’s Gift. New York: Fawcett Crest, 1995.

Redfield, James. The Celestine Prophesy: An Adventure. New York: Warner, 1993.

Redfield, James. The Tenth Insight: Holding the Vision: Further Adventures of the Celestine Prophesy. New York: Warner, 1996.

184 A P P E N D I X C

LeadershipBennis, Warren. An Invented Life: Reflections on Leadership and Change. Reading: Addison-Wesley, 1993.

Bennis, Warren. On Becoming a Leader. Reading: Addison-Wesley, 1989.

Bennis, Warren. Why Leaders Can’t Lead: The Unconscious Conspiracy Continues. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1989.

Bennis, Warren and Burt Nanus. Leaders: The Strategies for Taking Charge. New York: Harper and Row, 1985.

Bennis, Warren and Joan Goldsmith. Learning to Lead: A Workbook on Becoming a Leader. Reading: Addison-Wesley, 1994.

Cooper, Robert K. and Aymen Sawaf. Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations.New York: Penguin Putnam, 1997.

Covey, Stephen R. Principle-Centered Leadership. New York: Summit, 1991.

DePree, Max. Leadership is an Art. New York: Doubleday, 1989.

Drucker, Peter F. The Effective Executive. New York: Harper and Row, 1967.

Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ. Toronto: Bantam, 1995.

Goleman, Daniel. Working with Emotional Intelligence. New York: Bantam, 1998.

Greenleaf, Robert K. Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness. New York: Paulist, 1977.

Kotter, John P. Power and Influence: Beyond Formal Authority. New York: The Free Press, 1985.

Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge: How to Keep Getting Extraordinary Things Done in Organizations. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1995.

Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It.San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1993.

Nanus, Burt. Visionary Leadership: Creating a Compelling Sense of Direction for Your Organization. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1992.

Peters, Tom and Nancy Austin. A Passion for Excellence: The Leadership Difference. New York: Random House, 1985.

Peters, Tom. The Pursuit of WOW! Every Person’s Guide to Topsy-Turvy Times. Toronto: Random House, 1994.

Human Spirit and Soulful LeadershipBolman, Lee G. and Terrence E. Deal. Leading with Soul: An Uncommon Journey of Spirit. San Francisco:

Jossey-Bass, 1994.

Handy, Charles. The Hungry Spirit: Beyond Capitalism — A Quest for Purpose in the Modern World. London: Hutchinson, 1997.

Hawley, Jack. Reawakening the Spirit in Work. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1995.

Moore, Thomas, Matthew Fox, Charles Handy, Gary Zuvak and twenty-one other contributing writers. Rediscovering the Soul of Business: A Renaissance of Values. San Francisco: Sterling and Stone, 1995.

Percy, Ian. Going Deep: Exploring Spirituality in Life and Leadership. Toronto: Macmillan Canada, 1997.

Pollard, C. William. The Soul of the Firm. Grand Rapids: HarperBusiness-Zondervan, 1996.

Scherer, John with Larry Shook. Work and the Human Spirit. Spokane: John Scherer and Associates, 1993.

Secretan, Lance H. K. Reclaiming Higher Ground: Creating Organizations that Inspire the Soul. Toronto: Macmillan, 1996.

Whyte, David. The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America. New York: Doubleday, 1994.

Healing and the Mind-Body-Spirit ConnectionChopra, Depak, M.D. Ageless Body, Timeless Mind: The Quantum Alternative to Growing Old. New York:

Harmony, 1993.

Harpur, Tom. The Uncommon Touch: An Investigation of Spiritual Healing. Toronto: McClelland and Stewart, 1994.

Siegel, Bernie S., M.D. Love, Medicine and Miracles: Lessons Learned About Self-Healing from a Surgeon’s Experience with Exceptional Patients. New York: Harper and Row, 1988.

A P P E N D I X D 185

A P P E N D I X D

THE CLEMMER GROUP WEB SITE

www.clemmer.net * Over 60 of Jim’s most popular columns and book excerpts* Introduction, excerpts, pricing and ordering information, along with comments

and feedback on Firing on all Cylinders and Pathways to Performance* Details on The CLEMMER Group services and biographies of key associates* Jim’s keynote speaking and workshop services* Recommended books and web sites* The CLEMMER Group’s Coming Events* Join our e-mail or fax mailing list to stay connected and informed* Growing the Distance-L Online Discussion Group (see below)* The CLEMMER Group’s complementary electronic newsletter* Joining The CLEMMER Group* What’s new at The CLEMMER Group

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Growing the Distance-L Listservs are online group discussions of people interested in exchanging views on acertain subject. The listserv keeps a list of “members” and any mail sent to the list-serv’s e-mail address is forwarded to all the members. Listservs can be very usefulwhen you have specific concerns, questions or insights you would like to address toothers with similar interests. Listserv member lists can involve as few as two peopleor many thousands.

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When you join Growing the Distance-L, you will receive a welcome message withinstructions on how to participate in the group discussion. Your e-mail address willbe added to the list, and you will start receiving e-mail discussion contributions fromother list members. You may reply to these messages or send new messages to the listmembers at any time. Any message you send to the list will be distributed to theother members of the list.

You can suspend your list mail temporarily while on vacation, or you can request toreceive mail in a compiled “digest” form instead of individual e-mail messages. Youdon’t have to actively participate by sending messages; you can simply receive discus-sion messages, or “lurk” (as it is known on the Internet).

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A P P E N D I X E

JIM CLEMMER

Keynote Speaker and Workshop/Retreat Leader

Jim has delivered nearly 1,500 customized keynote presentations, workshops, semi-nars, and retreats to hundreds of leading organizations and thousands of executives.Jim is a bestselling author, workshop leader, and keynote speaker on organizationimprovement, leadership development, and personal effectiveness.

In addition to his many radio and television interviews, Jim has written dozens ofmagazine, journal, newsletter, and newspaper articles and columns. Jim is listed inhalf a dozen Canadian, American, and international Who’s Who directories. Jim isfounder and president of The CLEMMER Group Inc., a North American network ofpersonal, team, and organization improvement experts, specialists, and consultants.

For more information on booking Jim for a keynote address, workshop, or retreatclick on “Jim’s Speaking” section of The CLEMMER Group’s web site (www.clem-mer.net) or call (519) 748-1044.

The CLEMMER GroupThe CLEMMER Group provides strategic consulting services, supported by customized performance assessments, improvement and implementation planning,action-based learning workshops, and executive coaching to transform personal,team, and organization performance. Our services integrate the concepts, approaches,and frameworks from Jim Clemmer’s bestselling books — Firing on all Cylinders,Pathways to Performance, and Growing the Distance — with the pragmatic, in-depthbusiness management and professional experience of our North American network ofconsultants and development associates.

Services include:Organization Assessment and Improvement PlanningTeam DevelopmentLeadership/Personal DevelopmentProcess ManagementStrategic Organizational Health ServicesCustomer Focus Customized Education, Training and Development

For more information on Jim Clemmer or The CLEMMER Group’s services and our NorthAmerican network of consultant and development associates, drop by our web site(www.clemmer.net) or call (519) 748-1044.

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186 A P P E N D I X E

N O T E S 187

NotesCHAPTER 1 THE WAY OF THE LEADER

Page 21: “The future is not some place...,” Robert Cooper and Aymen Sawaf, Executive EQ (New York: Advanced Intelligence Technologies, LLC: Grosset & Dunlap, Inc., a division of Penguin Putnam Inc., 1997), p. 260.

CHAPTER 2 FOCUS AND CONTEXT

Page 26: “There’s only one way out...,” Dan Cavicchio, Gardens from the Sand: A Story About Looking for Answers and Finding Miracles (New York: Harper Collins, 1994), p. 47.

Page 28: “In the early 1950s...,” Joe Griffith, Speaker’s Library of Business Stories, Anecdotes and Humor (Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall Direct, a division of Arco, 1990), p. 135.

Page 28: “Carl Hiebert also used...,” A Gift of Wings: An Aerial Celebration of Canada (North York: Stoddart, 1995), p. 31.Page 29: “In 1924, Thomas Watson Sr....,” Thomas J. Watson Jr., Father Son & Co: My Life at IBM and Beyond (New York: Bantam, 1990), p. 28.Page 33: “The 18th century Scottish poet...,” Peter Hay, The Book of Business Anecdotes (New York: Facts on File, 1988), p. 82.Page 33: “Most business people...,” Ian Percy, Going Deep: Exploring Spirituality in Life and Leadership (Toronto: Macmillan Canada, 1997), p. 40.

CHAPTER 3 RESPONSIBILITY FOR CHOICES

Page 48: “Whether we rise...,” Carl Hiebert, A Gift of Wings: An Aerial Celebration of Canada, p. 29.Page 48: “In 1981, Carl was...,” Carl Hiebert, A Gift of Wings: An Aerial Celebration of Canada, p. 13.Page 48: “Life is not fair...,” Carl Hiebert, A Gift of Wings: An Aerial Celebration of Canada, p. 29.Page 51: “What’s the world’s greatest lie...,” Paul Coelho, The Alchemist (San Francisco: Harper Collins, 1993), p. 18.Page 54: “Holding onto destructive...,” Doc Lew Childre, Freeze-Frame: Fast Action Stress Relief (Boulder Creek, CA: Planetary Publications, 1994), p. 11.Page 55: “Reflecting on the mounting...,” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (New York: Bantam Books, a division of Random House, Inc., 1995),

pp 170 and 171.

CHAPTER 4 AUTHENTICITY

Page 63: “To be authentic is literally...,” Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead: A Workbook on Becoming a Leader (Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1994), p. 22.

Page 64: “Why the Thumb Stands...,” William J. Bennett, The Moral Compass: Stories For A Life’s Journey (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1996), p. 599.Page 67: “Author and consultant Robert Cooper...,” Robert Cooper and Aymen Sawaf, Executive EQ, pp. xxi, 65, and 134.Page 68: “An entrepreneur decided...,” Ashton Applewhite, William R. Evans III, and Andrew Frothingham, And I Quote (New York: St Martin's Press, 1992), p. 238.Page 68: “The American Heritage Dictionary...,” The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition (Houghton Mifflin Co., 1992),

Electronic version licensed from InfoSoft International, Inc.Page 70: “An ass found a lion’s skin...,” Aesop’s Fables (New York: Avenel Books, 1912), p. 53.Page 71: “A more contemporary storyteller...,” Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead, p. 24.Page 72: “To be honest is to be real...,” William J. Bennett, The Book of Virtues (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1996), p. 599.Page 72: “Seven-year-old first baseman...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces (Fairfield, NJ: The Economics Press, 1994), pp. 91-92.Page 75: “Hearing “reflective back talk” from friends...,” Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead, p. 70.Page 77: “According to an ancient story...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces, p. 44.Page 79: “In The Heart Aroused...,” David Whyte, The Heart Aroused (New York: Doubleday, a division of Random House, 1994), p. 93.Page 79: “Gautama Chopra elaborates...,” Gautama Chopra, Child of the Dawn: A Magical Journey of Awakening (San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing,

1996), p. 138.

CHAPTER 5 PASSION AND COMMITMENT

Page 87: “Apathy and cynicism...,” Harry R. Moody and David Carroll, The Five Stages of the Soul: Charting the Spiritual Passages That Shape Our Lives(New York: Doubleday, 1997), p. 56.

Page 92: “During the 1980s, the Milliken...,” Story told by Larry Schein, director of The Conference Board’s TQM Center at the “Benchmark II” home builder conference in Scottsdale, AZ on November 7, 1994.

Page 94: “Hang in there!...,” William J. Bennett, The Moral Compass: Stories For A Life’s Journey, p. 527.Page 94: “In 1914 Thomas Edison’s factory...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces, pp. 137-138.Page 97: “The bedrock of character...,” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, p. 285.Page 97: “During the 1960s, psychologist...,” Daniel Goldman, Emotional Intelligence, pp. 80-83.Page 98: “In The Road Less Traveled...,” M. Scott Peck, M.D., The Road Less Traveled (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1985), pp. 15-16, 19, and 24.Page 101: “Passion is the key element...,” Fortune, “America’s Most Admired Companies,” March 2, 1998, p. 82.

188 N O T E S

CHAPTER 6 SPIRIT AND MEANING

Page 103: “Our responsibility as individuals...,” Dorothy E. Fischer, “The System Versus the Soul”, Rediscovering the Soul of Business, edited by Bill DeFoore and John Renesch (San Francisco: Sterling & Stone, 1995), p. 189.

Page 105: “In Leading with Soul:...,” Lee Bolman and Terrence Deal, Leading with Soul: An Uncommon Journey of Spirit (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1995), p. 39.

Page 109: “What most people want...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces, p. 116.Page 110: “At the third level...,” Ian Percy, Going Deep: Exploring Spirituality in Life and Leadership, p. 56.Page 111: “Everyone has a special...,” Gautama Chopra, Child of the Dawn: A Magical Journey of Awakening, p. 150.Page 114: “During the past few months...,” M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, pp. 81 and 82.Page 117: “By changing our beliefs...,” Gautama Chopra, Child of the Dawn: A Magical Journey of Awakening, p. 138.Page 119: “An essential factor in leadership...,” Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead, p. 104.

CHAPTER 7 GROWING AND DEVELOPING

Page 126: “Isador Isaac Rabi...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces, p. 56.Page 127: “I am too old to change...,” Vincent Barry, The Dog Ate My Homework, (Kansas City: Andrews and McMeel, 1997), pp. 128-129.Page 131: “The famed ancient Greek...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces, p. 57.Page 131: “Scottish author Samual Smiles...,” Peter Hay, The Book of Business Anecdotes, p. 171.Page 132: “In a small pub...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces, p. 127.Page 135: “A true Master is...,” Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Book 1 (New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1995),

p. 114.Page 138: “Contrary to the myth that...,” James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, The Leadership Challenge — How to Keep Getting Extraordinary Things

Done in Organizations (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1995), pp. xx, xxiii, and 16.Page 140: “Warren Bennis has studied...,” Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead, p. 52.Page 143: “With self-knowledge we lay...,” Vincent Barry, The Dog Ate My Homework, p. 143.Page 143: “Self-reflection is the first key...,” Warren Bennis and Joan Goldsmith, Learning to Lead, pp. 70 and 132.

CHAPTER 8 MOBILIZING AND ENERGIZING

Page 145: “You never know when someone...,” The Best of Bits & Pieces, p. 55.Page 149: “After six years at Universal...,” James C. Collins and Jerry Porras, Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies

(New York: Harper Collins, 1994), p. 39.Page 153: “Meaningless work that...,” “Reshaping an Industry: Lockheed Martin’s Survival Story”, Harvard Business Review, May-June 1997, page 93.Page 156: “Here are some of the factors...,” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, p. 34.Page 157: “A well researched book...,” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, p. 34.Page 157: ”This is overly conservative...,” Robert Cooper and Aymen Sawaf, Executive EQ, p. xii and xxv.Page 158: “If you ask people...,” Warren Bennis, An Invented Life: Reflections on Leadership and Change, (Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1993), p. 75.Page 163: “We believe that what is...,” James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, The Leadership Challenge, p. 40.Page 166: “A certain man had several sons...,” Aesop’s Fables, p. 49.

AFTERWORD

Page 169: “Mr. Meant-To has a comrade...,” William J. Bennett, The Book of Virtues, p. 364.Page 175: “The process of spiritual growth...,” M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, p. 266.Page 175: “A timeless principle...,” Speakers Sourcebook II, Glenn Van Ekeren, (Paramus NJ: Prentice Hall, 1994), p. 234.Page 176: “Continuous personal improvement...,” John Train, editor, Wit: The Best Things Ever Said, (New York: Harper Collins, 1991), p. 44.Page 177: “There are no quick...,” David Whyte, The Heart Aroused, (New York: Doubleday, 1994), pp. 87 and 89.

Every effort has been made to trace the original sources of material contained in this book. Where the attempt has been unsuccessful, the publishers would be pleased to hear from the copyright holders to rectify any omission.

IndexAaccidental innovation, 132-34, 144 accumulation, in choice accounts, 56-57,

62 Adams, Scott, 49 Allen, James, 34 apathy, uprooting, 85-87 appearance, of leadership, 69, 71 appreciation, and celebration, 163-65 Augustine, Norman, 153 authenticity, 18, 20, 63-82

energy sources, 152 lack of, 31 and leadership, 67, 69, 81, 82

BBarry, Vincent, 127 Beecher, Henry Ward, 159 Bennett, William, 53 Bennis, Warren, 140 Bishop, Arthur, 49 Bolman, Lee, 105 Brasseur, Deanna, 49 Burns, Robert, 33 busyness, and effectiveness, 144

CCarrel, Alexis, 96 celebration, and appreciation, 163-65 Chadwick, Florence, 28-29 change, 12-15, 22

or be changed, 13-15, 22, 173-74 as inevitable, 124 leaders as models, 78-80 management, 93, 129-31

character, 70, 82 choices:

and daily habits, 100, 102 and reality, 51-55, 174 responsibility for, 18, 20, 43-62, 152 taking account, 56-57

Chopra, Gautama, 79 Churchill, Winston, 73 Cohn, Harry, 149 commitment:

burning, 92-93, 102 and passion, 18, 20, 32, 36, 83-102

communication, and energizing and mobilizing, 160-62, 168

control, 62 degrees of, 58-59

Cooper, Robert, 67, 157 core values, 32-33, 42 crisis, and change, 13-14, 174 culture, 105

and context, 40, 42, 150 cynicism, 102, 120, 159

uprooting, 85-87

DDarwin, Charles, 15 dash, life as a, 111-13, 122 dead-end job, 85-87 Deal, Terrence, 105 discipline, 97-101

as habit forming, 100-1 Disraeli, Benjamin, 36, 153 The Dog Ate My Homework (Barry), 127 downsizing and layoffs, 121 dreams, 28-30

189

190

EEdison, Thomas, 37, 94 effectiveness:

and busyness, 144 and motivation, 147 personal, 156

egotism, 68 Einstein, Albert, 78 Emotional Intelligence (EI), 92, 155-57,

168 emotions, destructive, 54-55 energizing and mobilizing, 18, 20, 32,

145-68 energy, 18, 20, 32, 36, 168

leadership, 148 measuring, 154 sources, 151-54

Euclid, on learning, 131 external change, 15

Ffailures, successful, 132-34 family:

values, 32, 38 and work, 33

feedback, 76-77, 165 Fenelon, François, 78 focus and context, 18-19, 23-42, 172

energy sources, 152 shaping, 39-41

Fox, Terry, 96 future, choosing our thoughts and our,

60-61, 62

GA Gift of Wings (Hiebert), 48 Going Deep (Percy), 33 Goleman, Daniel, 55, 156-57 growing the distance, 171-80 growth and development, 18, 20, 32,

123-44, 174 and action, 178-79 energy sources, 153

Hhabits, as daily choices, 100, 102 healthy culture, 105, 122 Heller, Slav, 50 Hiebert, Carl, 28-29, 48 Holmes, Oliver Wendell, Jr., 175 honesty, and integrity, 72-74, 82 hope, as source of energy, 158-59, 168 hostility, levels of, 55 How to Save Your Own Life (Jong), 45 Hubbard, Elbert, 170 Huxley, Thomas Henry, 95 hypocrisy, as self-deception, 31, 68, 82

IIBM, and Thomas Watson Sr., 29 image, of leadership, 69 imagination, 30 incentives, money as, 150 indexes:

Influence, 58-59 laughter, 7, 153

influence, and control, 58-59 Influence Index, 58-59, 62 inner space, 70 innovation, accidental, 132-34 integrity, and honesty, 72-74, 82 intelligence, and success, 155-57, 168 IQ tests, 155 It's a Wonderful Life (film), 35-36

JJackson, Andrew, 59 job security, 124 Jong, Erica, 45

KKeller, Helen, 30 Kettering, Charles, 134 King, Martin Luther, Jr., 91

191

Llabor of love, work as, 90-91 Landseer, Sir Edwin Henry, 132 Laughter Index, 7, 153 Law, Alvin, 49 layoffs and downsizing, 121 leaders, 12-22

accepting responsibility, 44 centered, 117-18, 122 communication skills, 161-62 growth and development, 136-37, 144 strong, 36, 41

leadership, 16 as action, 22, 81, 82, 175 authentic, 67, 69 by example, 78-81, 81 challenge of, 119-21 development exercise, 80 as emotional, 89, 102 and energy, 148 inner side of, 67 inside-out, 117-18, 175 learned, 138-40 and passion, 101 perception of, 75-76, 82 personal path, 21, 22 principles, 17

leadership model, 18-20 focus and context, 25, 172 mobilizing and energizing, 151

leadership wheel. See leadership model Lear, Norman, 71 lifelong learning, 131, 177 Lincoln, Abraham, 74 love, faces of, 114-16, 122

MMandino, Og, 107 Maslow, Abraham, 107 meaning:

search for, 109-10, 122 seekers, 105, 110

Milliken, Roger, 92 Mischel, Walter, 97 mobilizing and energizing, 18, 20, 32,

145-68 Mohammed, 35 money:

and core essence, 32 as incentive, 150

motivation myth, 149-50

NNewman, John Henry, 131

Oobstacles, as opportunities, 49-50 optimism, 62, 86

and view of reality, 53 O’Rourke, P.J., 45

Pparticipation, power of, 166-67 passion:

and commitment, 18, 20, 32, 36, 83-102

energy sources, 153 and leadership, 101 and love, 84, 89 power of, 88-89

Pathfinders (Sheehy), 40 Peck, M. Scott, 98 perception, and leadership, 75-76

of reality, 51-55 Percy, Ian, 33, 110 persistence, and success, 94-96, 102 personal development, 125, 127, 175-76

critical areas, 18-20 personal effectiveness, 156 personality, 70, 82 pessimism, 62, 159

and reality, 53 Pessimism Plague, 46-47 PIES model, 110 Pity City, 31, 45, 62, 179

192

power: of participation, 166-67 of passion, 88-89

predictability, and stability, 12, 124, 144 procrastination, 100 purpose, 25, 35-38, 40, 42

RRabi, Isidor Isaac, 126 reading, and personal growth, 176 reality:

and choice, 51-55 views of, 26

recognition, 164 reflection, and renewal, 141-43 reputation, 70, 82 responsibility for choices, 18, 20, 43-62

energy sources, 152 rewards:

giving thanks, 163-65 and punishments, 146-47, 150

Rolling Stone magazine, 45

SSARAH response, 77 Sawaf, Ayman, 157 Schuller, Robert, 158 Schweitzer, Albert, 87, 153 Secretan, Lance, 73 security, 124, 144 self-deception, 68 self-discipline, 97-98, 102 Self Help (Smiles), 131 self-hypocrisy, 68-69 self-knowledge, 70 Sheehy, Gail, 40 Smiles, Samuel, 131 spirit and meaning, 18, 20, 32, 103-22

energy sources, 152 stability, and predictability, 12, 124, 144 stagnation, signs of, 127-28 Stewart, Thomas A., 101 success, and persistence, 94-96

Tteams, and power of participation, 166-67 Thatcher, Margaret, 99 Theis, Brittany, 50 toxic culture, 105, 122 trust, and leadership, 72-73 Twain, Mark, 73

UUllman, Samuel, 89

Vvalues, 25, 31-34, 36 victim:

role of, 46 speak, 47, 84

Victimitis Virus, 31, 46-47, 54, 62, 91, 120, 179

vision, 25, 26-30, 36 quest, 30 as values, 42

visioning, 28-29 vision statement, The Clemmer Group, 7

WWarhol, Andy, 90 Watson, Thomas, Sr., 29 Welch, Jack, 147 “We to Me” ratio, 167, 168 Whyte, David, 79 WIFM (what’s-in-it-for-me), 150 Wilcox, Ella Wheeler, 93 Wilde, Oscar, 69, 142 work:

and family, 33 meaningful, 90-91, 102

growing the distance

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