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FVP Voice Fall 2017

October is

Domestic Violence

Awareness Month

Paint Night

What you can do

Attend an event

Join a discussion panel

Learn what you can do to help a friend or neighbor

Become a Volunteer

Make a financial gift to FVP

See insert for a complete list of activities planned

for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

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Volunteer Spotlight

Michelle Radloff has been a volunteer with Family

Violence Project since the fall of 2015. Michelle has

worked in healthcare for 32 years, primarily with

underserved and vulnerable populations such as those

with mental illness, developmental disabilities,

substance abuse, brain injuries and geriatric

populations. Currently she works full time as a process

engineer at Pen Bay Medical Center and Waldo County

General Hospital, part time at Waldoboro EMS as an

EMT and volunteers not only with FVP but with Bikers

Against Child Abuse. She is the mom of two grown

boys and a step-daughter as well as Nana to 12

grandchildren. In her “spare” time she hangs out with

her three dogs in the woods of Maine as much as

possible.

Why do you support Family Violence Project?

“Working with vulnerable populations made me realize

that domestic violence has no boundaries. It affects

people of all ages, genders, religions, sexual

orientation, and socio-economic conditions, it does not

discriminate. No one deserves to live in fear. I support

FVP to empower those who are experiencing DV to feel

in control and to realize there are supports and

resources out there to assist them in reclaiming that

control.”

What do you enjoy about volunteering?

“I enjoy the feeling of making a difference. Of

being a small part of something that is making such a

huge impact on so many people’s lives.

What do you know about Family Violence Project that

most people don’t or should?

“That we are not here to tell people what to do, we are

here to empower them to decide what they would like to

do. Then we help them identify available resources to do

it. ”

What is your vision for addressing domestic violence in

Maine?

“To keep educating and empowering, doing my part to

support the efforts of organizations like FVP.”

Books Behind Bars By Robin Miller

Books Behind Bars is an ongoing volunteer effort by

Family Violence Project staff to collect books for

Kennebec and Somerset County correctional facilities.

The question is always asked: "What kinds of books

should I donate?” Thinking about the range of books that

are available in local bookstores, the answer is "almost

anything - but with stipulations".

Neither jail can accept books that are spiral bound with

wire or plastic. Kennebec can accept only soft cover

books, while Somerset is still accepting either. Anything

bound with staples is also not acceptable. Books should

be in good condition and reasonably up to date. Large

print books are useful too, as many inmates manage to

wind up in jail without their glasses.

Subject matter is wide-ranging. In the genre of fiction,

action and adventure, mystery, and science fiction are

preferred: Stephen King, Lee Childs, John Grisham are

popular. Local authors using local settings may have a

special relevancy for Maine readers; thus, Gerry Boyle,

Paul Doiron, and Tess Gerritson are great choices.

Women like these books as well but also enjoy Oprah's

Book Club or Good Read titles. Non-fiction categories

include instructional books on art (especially drawing

and painting), cooking and diets, breaking free from

abuse or addiction, pregnancy and parenting,

psychology, sports, and spirituality. When in doubt,

check with your local librarian or bookseller for

suggestions! Or choose books that you yourself have

really enjoyed.

For more information, contact Robin Miller:

robinm@familyviolenceproject.org or 207-620-9049.

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HOW TO HELP A LOVED ONE:

DO’S AND DON’TS FOR PROVIDING

SUPPORT TO ABUSE VICTIMS

If you worry someone you care about is experiencing

abuse in a relationship, there are steps you can take to

help. Consider the following do’s and don’ts when

approaching a friend, family member, co-worker,

neighbor, or other loved one.

Do:

Approach the other person at a time and place that is

safe and confidential.

Start by expressing concern (i.e., “I am concerned

someone may be hurting you, and I am worried

about your safety.”)

Take the time to listen, and believe what your loved

one says. Listen, listen, and really hear the whole

story.

Communicate that you care about your loved one’s

safety, that they do not deserve to be hurt, and that

the abuse is not their fault.

Tell your loved one they are not crazy. A person who

has been abused often feels upset, depressed,

confused and scared. Let them know that these are

normal feelings.

Remind them of their positive qualities, perhaps they

are strong and brave in your eyes. The abuser may be

tearing down their self-esteem.

Respect the victim’s choices. Understand that their

safety concerns are valid.

Encourage them to build a wide support system.

Help find a support group or encourage them talk to

friends and family.

Be patient. Self-empowerment may take longer than

you want. Go at the victim’s pace, not yours.

Sometimes successfully leaving an abuser requires a

lot of careful planning.

Connect them to domestic violence resources. In

Kennebec and Somerset counties, contact the Family

Violence Project at 207-623-3569 or toll-free

1-877-890-7788. For another Maine county, calls

can be made to 1-866-834-HELP (4357) or

1-800-437-1220 (Relay Line). If your area does not

have its own Helpline, you can direct your loved one

to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at

1-800-799-SAFE.

Consider calling your local domestic violence

Helpline yourself to learn more about the kinds of

help available, to ask questions specific to the

situation, and to learn how to be an effective ally.

Communicate to your loved one that help does exist,

and that people in their community care about them

and their children and want them to be safe.

Do Not:

Do not accuse, diagnose, or judge your loved one’s

choices; do not draw conclusions about what they

may be experiencing or feeling; and do not judge or

criticize the abuser.

Do not pressure your friend to leave the relationship.

There are many reasons they may be deciding or

choosing to stay. It is possible the abuser has

threatened to hurt them or their children if they try to

leave. Statistics confirm that when someone leaves

an abuser, that is the greatest challenge to the

abuser’s control of them and the family and could

result in serious injury or even death. The abuser

may control all of the finances and may have isolated

the victim from friends and family, leaving the

victim with very few resources of their own. The

abuser may have promised to change, and the victim

may still love him/her. It is never as simple as

encouraging a victim to “just leave”.

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Our shelter wish list

towels, wash cloths hand towels

dish cloths

twin size bedding

deodorant

full size body wash

full size shampoo

full size conditioner

dishwasher pods

silverware

drinking glasses

diapers - all sizes

baby wipes

trash bags

mops, brooms & dust pans

food storage containers

plastic wrap

coffee, sugar and creamer

cold and cough medicines

women’s hygiene items

bandages

kitchen utensils

first aid kit

curtain rods

aluminum foil

zip lock bags

grocery store and gas cards

Family Violence Project

Support Group Schedule

In Augusta

Thursday 3:00 to 4:30pm

In Waterville

Wednesday 5:00 to 6:30pm

In Skowhegan

Thursday 4:00 to 6:00pm

For more information, please call

our Helpline 1-890-7788

We See You Update:

Nancy Provost, Prevention Educator/Co-Director/

Producer of We See Y ou

After almost a full year of filming, editing, and

planning, Family Violence Project hosted a very

successful premiere screening of our film

We See You at the Theater at Monmouth on May

13th, 2017! It was a true collaboration with many

talented and dedicated community partners, many of

whom were able to attend the event. Following the

film, a lively and educational panel discussion added

to the success of the project. Did you miss the event?

Did you want to share it within your community for

Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October?

We are about to launch a digital release that will

include the film, a film guide, and a bonus film of the

panel discussion that you don't want to miss! Please

check our Face Book pages for updates on how and

when it will be available!

Visit/Like/Share at: https://www.facebook.com/

weseeyouthefilm/ or https://www.facebook.com/

familyviolenceproject/

Pictured from front to back, left to right: Row 1: Mikki (McFadden) Lane, Meredythe Dehne Lindsey, Siuan (Cody) Shepard. Row 2:Colleen Lowrie, Dale McCormick, Melody Fitch, Mary Joseph, Nancy Provost, Michelle LeClaire, Christina Hal-lowell, Susan Clark, Savannah Green. Row 3: Ella Mock, Christo-pher Blair, Nan Bell, Jon Heath, Ken Hendra, Eva Stoyovich, Nicole Maines.

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IT TAKES A COMMUNITY TO END DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Charter School Raises Money for Family Violence Project

The students at the Maine Academy of Natural Sciences

had a “Penny War”. Sam Pendred, Ed Tech for MeANS Advi-

sory team “won” the war. They chose FVP’s Somerset

House Shelter as their beneficiary.

We would like to send a Big Thank you to T-Mobile in

Oakland for the donations from your Giving Tree.

These items were donated to our Somerset House

Shelter for the second year in a row.

ESM raised $233.00 for FVP in April!

Thank you

ESM Inc. is a Whole Life Community Rehabilitation

Agency. We are a stable and growing company that

has been in business in Central Maine since 1992.

ESM is a private for profit company owned by Jean

Gallant. Jean started this company with a simple

vision, and over the years, has recruited a dynamic

team of administrators, and direct-line personnel

who have assisted her in the growth and

development of the company. ESM has gained

much respect from community citizens and

leaders of the community.

JMG Donates $500.00 to Family Violence Project.

Many thanks to the China Middle School for a

donation through the Jobs for Maine Graduates

program

Thank you to all our donors and volunteers

Your generosity is a blessing to those who have

experienced domestic violence. You have

allowed us to assist victims with grocery and

gas cards, household items, blankets and

pillows, and many other items. Thank you for

all you do.

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2017 Family Violence Project

Benefit & Recognition Night

Recognition Awarded Recipients:

Individual Donor of the year Volunteer of the year Business Donor of the year

Denise Dernorsek Ken Bell Laflin & Wolfington Realty

A special thank you to our speaker Lois Dorr, who told the story of her ordeal and how she

has overcome it.

Thank you to our sponsors:

Longfellow’s Greenhouses longfellowsgreenhouses.com

Kennebec Savings Bank kennebecsavings.bank

Eastern Maine Health Services emhs.org

Maine State Troopers mainestatetroopersfoundation.org

Summit Natural Gas summitnaturalgasmaine.com

Also Thank you to :

Tree Spirits of Maine treespiritsofmaine.com

Lisa’s White Flour Catering

Eric Thomas and the Trio Fantastique

Robin Miller—Cloud 8 Artworks robincmillerart@gmail

American Awards, Inc. americanawardsinc.com

Pictured above are Executive Director,

Melody Fitch, and benefit committee

members Kelly Smith and Liz Hersom

Attendees watching the presentation

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FVP Board of Directors

President David White, Casework Supervisor,

DHHS Adult Protective Services

Vice President Kate Clearwater, Attorney and Health

Policy Professional

Treasurer Rick Barry, Vice President of Patient

Services/CNO Inland Hospital

Secretary Vacant

Heather Akeley English Teacher, Cony High School

Alicia Barnes Digital Marketing Analyst, Dream

Local Digital

Maeghan Maloney District Attorney, Kennebec &

Somerset Counties

Lian Oyerbides Business Owner, Lotus Learning

Center, LLC. And Home Away from

Home Lodging

Nathan Richards Pastor in Solon and Norridgewock

James Ross Chief Deputy, Somerset County

Sheriff Dept.

Lauren Whitman Owner of Nautilus Whole Health

Rosemary Winslow Life long advocate and change agent

Technology Making Victims Safer

Victims of domestic violence are often also victims

of stalking. The use of technology such as the

internet, social media, computers and cell phones are

among the ways that DV victims are harassed or

stalked by their abusers. But limiting a victim's use

of technology in response to this harassment is not

always the best or safest answer. Limiting technology

is a form of isolation, a common tactic abusers use to

enforce power by controlling who someone talks to,

who they see, and what they do.

It is ultimately up to the survivor to decide how they

will handle the use of technology. Some may feel too

unsafe to go online for a while. Others will

immediately feel the world opening up with access to

social media and the ability to call and text friends

and family without being monitored. They can revive

relationships with supportive people, research

resources, and more efficiently map out their futures.

Advocates at FVP have been gathering resources and

learning ways to make technology safer and how to

help victims document abuse through technology.

For example, survivors can do a technology safety

assessment, an inventory of all the ways a person

uses technology; determine where they feel

vulnerable and identify ways they can protect

themselves. The goal is to empower and support the

survivor with their choices and encourage them to

follow their instincts in determining where danger

exists while educating them on the safest use of

phone, computer, internet and social media.

Please visit our website for full page printable

flyers of events to be held in October during

Domestic Violence Awareness Month!

We hope to see you!

familyviolenceproject.org

Like us on

Family Violence Project Maine

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Please join us for one or more events in October

Help support victims of domestic abuse

October 1st through October 31st Ken’s Restaurant in Skowhegan (See Below)

October 11, 2017 6:30—8:30pm Technology: Its Exploding Role in Partner & Dating Violence

October 12, 2017 6—7:30 pm Vigil in Coburn Park, Skowhegan proceeding to the municipal building for a

community discussion

October 14, 2017 8am Somerset County Domestic Violence Task Force; 1st Annual Race to End Domestic

Violence. Register on line or day of race. Registration will be from 6:45 to 7:45am. Be there for the first

year! Come back for many more!

October 18, 2017 2—4pm Waterville Police Dept. (Training Room) Firearms and PFA’s - DOJ led mapping

exercise Call Beth Crowe for info 207-620-9039 or email bethc@familyviolenceproject.org. Please sign up

by October 6th.

October 25, 2017 Doors open at 5:30pm Paint Night at Somerset Abby in Madison to benefit FVP

For more information see flyers below and on next page.

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Paint Night at Somerset Abby

Madison, Me

October 25, 2017

To Benefit the Family Violence Project

Doors open at 5:30 Painting at 6:30pm

Tickets and information:

somersetabby.net

Domestic Violence

Awareness Month!

Please visit our website for full

page printable flyers of events to

be held in October.

Www.familyviolenceproject.org

Like us on

Family Violence Project Maine

We hope to see you!

Kens’ Family Restaurant

411 Madison Avenue

Skowhegan, Maine

Buy a dessert to end domestic abuse

$5.00 from the sale of each dessert will go

Family Violence Project

October 1st through October 31st!

Wednesday through Sunday 11:00am—8:00pm

Enjoy a delicious meal, end it with a dessert and

you will be donating to

Family Violence Project.

Thank You!

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To contact Family Violence Project:

Helpline 24/7 coverage 207-623-3569 or Toll Free 1-877-890-7788

Augusta Administrative Office 207-623-8637; Waterville 207-877-0835;

Skowhegan 207-474-8860; Menswork 207-620-8494

www.familyviolenceproject.org

Family Violence Project does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, sex, sexual orientation, physical or mental disability,

religion, age, ancestry or national origin, gender identity or expression, pregnancy or any other characteristic protected by law.

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Family Violence Project is a member of MCEDV—Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence.

www.mcedv.org. Family Violence Project is supported by Maine Department of Health and Human Services,

United Way of Kennebec Valley and United of Way Mid Maine

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Augusta, Maine 04330

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Family Violence Project

P O Box 304

Augusta, Me 04332

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