family matters february 2014

Family MattersVOLUME 5, ISSUE 2, FEbrUary 2014

NCNG Family Programs' Publication for Military Families

04 NCNG Education and Employment Center From job postings, to workshops and career days, the NC National Guard

Employment Center is a resource for Service Members and their Families.

05 Maintaining a Healthy Body Image During

Swimsuit SeasonEven though it is cold summer will be around the corner at which time focus on

our personal appearance is intensified.

06 Pumped Up!MYCAA and the Department of Veterans Affairs education benefits might be

able to help jump start a new career in fitness.

07 Teenagers and Digital Dating AbuseNew technologies are wonderful to have but they can also provide new

avenues for abusive behavior.

09 Bounce BackHelp your Family Face Challenges Successfully: Building Your Family

Resilience.

10 Strong Bonds2014 Strong Bonds Events

11 Being Ready Means Being Prepared OPTEMPO may be low but we need to continue to strengthen our Family

Readiness Groups and support networks.

12 Various Bits of InformationFamily Readiness Group Regional Training, Tax services for Military Families,

Internship opportunities for military youth and More on page 15.

15 WebinarsJoint Services Support webinars and Volunteer Training Panel Discussion on

the effect of deployments on Servicemembers and Families..

Page 11

Contents

On the Cover : Image obtained from deviantart.com and is titled be wallpaper by user madazulu. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed for use Under the Creative Commons Attribution of which this publication is able to copy and redistribute the material in any medium or format which is not for profit and is intended for the public domain.

Do you have a photo that would be great on the Cover of Family Matters? E-mail a photo you have permissions for to [email protected] with a description of the photo and who took the picture.

Page 09

Being Ready Means Being Prepared

Bounce Back

North Carolina National Guard

Employment and Education CenterPage 04

NC National Guard and Families

First line of Defense

Call the Behavioral Health At

1-855-322-3848About Our Family

Our Family was created to provide Servicemembers and Families the most up-to-date information and services available. If you would like to contribute to future issues, or if you have suggestions and

comments, please contact the NCNG Family Programs Marketing and Communications Department personnel, Angelena Dockery or Kathryn Jarvis, at [email protected]. E-Versions of

Family Matters can be downloaded at the NCNG Family Programs web page at www.nc.ngb.army.mil.References in this newsletter to any specific commercial products, processes, services, or the use of

any trade, firm, or corporation name does not constitute endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by NCNG Family Programs.

Happy February Everyone,

We are excited to let you know about the wonder-ful programs and services that are still happening including our Strong Bonds events! We hope that if you haven't been able to attend this year, you will take the opportunity to attend this great program.

February is a perfect time to reflect and celebrate that important person in your life. We’ve included an interesting article on how to keep your military family ship strong, when whatever "storm" passes through.

As we know, we’re all at different points in the military life cycle, so, take what you can use and apply it to your particular situation.

And, if you are having some issues or concerns in your life, not only your marriage or maybe with your child, but maybe on the job, remember we have Military Family Life Consultants (MFLC) available. Our MFLCs are

free of charge, there is no paperwork and your sessions are confidential. Mili-tary OneSource still offers military mem-bers and their Families, free counseling services, as well, either via phone, e-mail or they can set you up with a local provider in your area.

While it’s only February, we are gear-ing up to bring you as many useful tools and resources as we can. Please be attentive and join our Facebook page so that as we get updates, you’ll be updated also.

We always welcome new volunteers; so, if you or someone you may know would like to help, please give us a call. You’ll find all of our teams num-bers listed throughout this publication. Our existing volunteers (and/or anyone interested) are encouraged to participate in the National Guard Volunteer/JSS Webinar trainings.

As we go forth into 2014, I am so happy to say that, today, we have more opportunities available to us. The more you take advantage of these resources, from webinars to employment readiness events to FAC events, the more that will be available to our State’s military Families. And, please remember no situation or question is too large or too small. We’ll work through it together. While you may feel your situation is unique, we know that there are certain things that every Military Family faces, in some form or another.

With that said, we look forward to being a part of your extended family this year, and helping in any way you may need.

Thank you for all you do,

Diane Coffill

FAMILY MAT TERSFEBRUARY 2014

Diane Coff i l lState Family Program Direc tor

diane. l .cof f i l l .c iv@mai l .mi l(919) 664-6324

Master Sgt . R amona ScottFamily Programs Specia l ist

ramona.k .scott .mi l@mai l .mi l(919) 664-6000 Ex t . 47005

Staf f Sgt . Tammy FowlerFamily Programs Ass istant

tammy. l . fowler.mi l@mai l .mi l(919) 664-6000 Ex t 46876

Lana GreerState FAC Coordinator

lana.m.greer.c tr@mai l .mi l(800) 621-4136 Ex t . 11667

Terr y HendersonAirman & Family Readiness Program Mgr.

terr [email protected] l(704) 398-4949

Al ice DeanLead Chi ld & Youth Coordinator

al ice.c .dean.c tr@mai l .mi l(800)621-4136 Ex t 12183

K r ist i WagnerYouth Coordinator

k r ist i . l .wagner4.c tr@mai l .mi l(800) 621-4136 Ex t . 14761

Angelena Docker yM arket ing & Communicat ions Manager

sal l ie.a .docker y.c tr@mai l .mi l(919) 485-9570

K athr yn Jar v isM arket ing & Communicat ions Manager

k athr yn.a . jar v is .c tr@mai l .mi l(919) 485-9571

Judy R ichardsonSenior FRSA

judith . r. r ichardson.c tr@mai l .mi l(800) 621-4136 Ex t . 11346

MESSAGE FROM THE DIREC TOR

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 4 F a m i l y M a t t e r s 3

Connect With Us

The North Carolina National Guard Education and Employment Center iscentered in Raleigh but supports Service Members throughout the State from satellite

locations in Asheville and Gastonia.

Every region in NC has its own representatives that generate connections in that area.

“If you or someone you know is a Guard Member or dependent that needs employ-ment assistance please contact the NCNG EEC at (919) 664-6463, visit us on Facebook by searching for North Carolina National Guard Education and Employment Center, or

e-mail us at [email protected].

~NCNG EEC Marketing Director Joshua Gonzalez

North Carolina National Guard Education and Employment Center

Our services include: Career Assessment Individual Employment Plans Job Seekers WorkshopSearch Engine Navigation Help MOS/AFSC to Civilian Job Information Job Search Help Education Entitlement Information Resume Preparation Transition Resources Employment Preparation Interview Preparation

http://www.nc.ngb.army.mil/Careers/Pages/ER.aspx

If you are unemployed, underemployed, or know someone who is, please call us at (919) 664-6463 or (800) 621-4136 option #3. We can also be found on the NCNG Website, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

YOUR EMPLOYMENT AND EDUCATION RESOURCE CENTER FOR SERVICE MEMBERS AND THEIR FAMILIESLIKE US ON FACEBOOK:Get the latest job postings, info on Veteran Career Days, Employment & Career Workshops, and more!Search www.facebook.com/ncngeducationandemploymentcenter

NATIONAL GUARD EMPLOYMENT NETWORK DATABASE:Register in our National Guard Employment Network database today to browse the millions of jobs post-ed by veteran-friendly employers seeking your valued skill set! Or send your resume to the Education and Employment Center’s group email box at [email protected].

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER:@NCNGandEmploy

4 F a m i l y M a t t e r s F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 4

With summer right around the corner, it's time to dust off the patio furniture, pack up the sweaters and dig out the tank tops and shorts. It's the season of backyard barbeques and fun in the sun. And with the warm weather and trips to the pool or the beach, there is often an intensified focus on our bodies.

Generally, most people have something they'd like to change about their body - wide hips, short legs, soft bellies - the list goes on and on. Some of this desire for change is ok; it may motivate us to exercise more or eat better, but sometimes body image is-sues can affect us in negative ways.

Tips for maintaining a healthy body image

—Embrace the body you have. It's easy to focus on the things you want to change about your body, but try spending more time on what you love about it. Maybe it's your eyes, your strength, your good health or the belly that held your children for nine months. What-ever it is, find something to appreciate!—Stop making comparisons. Remember, the media's portrayal of the human body is grossly inaccurate. The average person does not look like the models on televi-sion and does not have the luxury to get airbrushed to perfection all the time.—Make realistic goals for yourself. If you want to become more fit or healthy, it doesn't help to dwell on the negative. —Make realistic, positive changes in your life and the results will come. This can be as simple as taking a walk every day.—Spend time around positive people. Hang out with people who love and support you just the way you are and say goodbye to those who make you feel inadequate in some way.—Compliment yourself every day. Build up your self-esteem by reminding yourself what you love. Your smile, your ability to make people laugh, your exceptional cooking abilities, etc. The more you compliment yourself, the better you'll feel. When you value yourself for many reasons, your view of yourself will be well rounded and less concentrated on your body image.

Recognizing signs of trouble

Most people have moments when they feel down about themselves or what they look like, but it's important to realize when your nega-tive body image may be affecting your life in a bigger way. If you or someone you know has an unhealthy preoccupation with body im-age, it may be time to seek help from a counselor or another source. Here are some signs to look out for:—Constantly thinking negative thoughts about your body—Frequently comparing yourself to others—Calling yourself names such as "sloppy" or "gross"—Refusing to accept a compliment—Believing that a different waist size or weight is the key to your happiness—Feeling a sense of shame about your body—Letting your mood be determined by how you look—Always focusing on what you don't like when you look in the mirror

Maintaining a Healthy Body Image During

Swimsuit Season

Continues on next page

Share your Success Like NCNGFP


Please call MYCAA if you need more information at 800-342-

9647 Or Visit Vist MYCAA.COMClick on “School Search”; type in

“AFPA”; then click “Search”. You will see all AFPA Certification programs

which have been approved by MYCAA.

The IFPA accepts VA Benefits!Personal training, be it to train yourself or others, can be a very rewarding field. With only 22% of the U.S. population regularly active at a level conductive for maintaining health, we need more qualified fitness professionals spreading the message.

The International Fitness Professionals Association proudly supports our military members, and we are dedicated to providing the highest quality service possible to our warrior class.

The owner and founder of the IFPA, Dr. Bell, is a Veteran himself, and at the IFPA, we

understand the military lifestyle comes with a set of unique needs. It is an

honor and a privilege to serve you.

The IFPA is VA approved! All of the certifications can be reim-bursed by the VA.

https://www.ifpa-fitness.com/ifpa_Use_Your_VA_Benefits_

personal_fitness_trainer_certi-fication.html

National Personal Training Program Accepts Veterans’ Benefits and MYCAA

BenefitsBecome a Personal Fitness Trainer in 6 Months at a Location Near You!

• Day,evening,andweekendclassscheduleswillfityour busy schedule.• Financialassistanceisofferedtothosewhoqualify.• FREENationwideJobplacementassistanceforall graduates.• FREEongoingconsultationwithnutritionists,and fitness experts.

http://nptifitness.com/training-programs.phphttp://nptifitness.com/mycaa.php

Charlotte- http://nptifitness.com/school.php?id=45Raleigh- http://nptifitness.com/school.php?id=40

Fitness not your thing…Compare Veterans Affairs-approved institutions and

review other information to choose the educational program that works best for you.

http://www.benefits.va.gov/GIBILL/index.asp

American Fitness Professionals and Associates, AFPA, Certification Programs Approved For “MYCAA”

This program will provide the spouse financial aid up to $4000.00 for a variety of certifications.

UP!P U M P E D

"Body Image" Continued

Negative body image is most often seen in women, but many men suffer from it as well. It often coincides with low self-esteem and depression and can eventually lead to eating disorders.

Resources

Military OneSource offers health and well-ness coaching at no cost to help eligible individuals safely improve their overall health and well-being in areas such as weight man-agement, fitness and nutrition, stress man-agement and more. To sign up, call 800-342-9647, and a Military OneSource consultant will register you and schedule your first session right away.


Royaly Free Image license - Image ID 26829177 © Grungemaster | Dreamstime.com

UNDERSTANDING DIGITAL DATING ABUSE

Using social media or texting as a means of abuse is a growing problem among teenagers. Here are some of the most common forms of digital dating abuse:

—sending threatening or derogatory emails or texts

—posting harassing or insulting statements on so-cial networking sites—excessive texting to keep tabs on a dating partner

—sending explicit pictures or video by e-mail or text message, often called "sexting"

—using another person's password to log into their cell phone or social media accounts

—using tracking applications on social networking sites to stalk someone

Teenagers may think this type of abuse is a normal part of the relationship. But digital abuse, like other forms of abuse, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and may lead to physical violence if the relationship continues along the same path.

T e e n a g e r s

New technologies can be a wonderful thing, but they can also provide new avenues for abusive behavior. Teenagers may be especially vulnerable to digital abuse because they are attracted to and often rely on these new technologies to communicate. Using texts or social media to threaten, demean or stalk are all forms of digital abuse. If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship, remember abuse is not OK, online or off.

And Digital Dating Abuse

Original Article on Military One Source.com

Continues on next page


Teen Council Events

February 11, 20145 : 3 0 p m - 8 : 0 0 p m

Wake County Cooperative Extension Office4001 Carya Dr.

Raleigh, NC 27610

February 18, 20145 : 3 0 p m - 8 : 0 0 p m

Wilmington Armory 2412 Infantry Drive

Wilmington, NC 28405

Raleigh &Wilmington Teen council

February meeting is Job Search Skills-Getting

Started, NetworkingBeing Prepared

Completing Applications References Wrapping It Up

February 20, 20135 : 3 0 p m - 8 : 0 0 p m Charlotte Armory, 4240 West Blvd., Charlotte, NC

28208

Charlotte Members will focus this month on the "7 Habits Highly Effective Teens:

Get in the Habit and Personal Bank Account"

Digital Dating continued

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PROTECT YOURSELF

If you or someone you know is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, there are things you can do to help protect yourself. They include the following:

—Understand that you don't deserve to be mistreated, online or in person.—Do not text or post any pictures that make you feel uncom-fortable. Try to think beyond the moment. Once you have sent a picture, you cannot get it back.—Keep your passwords private. Don't give them out to friends, including your boyfriend or girlfriend.—Take a look at your privacy settings on social networking sites. Be sure you understand how they work and change them if nec-essary to protect your privacy.—Don't respond to constant text messages. It's OK to turn off your phone when you're with family and friends.—Disconnect the tracking on your mobile device. Avoid "check-ing in" on social media sites, and ask your friends not to "tag" or track you with their mobile devices. —If necessary, deactivate your Facebook account when you log off. This will help keep your information private when you are not online. Your account is automatically reactivated when you log on again.

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP

Parents play a key role in helping their teenagers learn to build healthy relationships. You can begin by teaching your teenager that all communication, including digital communication, should be respectful. The following tips may help:

—Keep up-to-date on the technology your child uses. —Be sure you have access to their cell phone and Internet accounts.—Check their Internet histories. —Review their text messages. Let them know you will be check-ing.—Teach your teenager to use social networking sites responsibly.—Talk with your teenager about the importance of mutual respect in a relationship. —Teach your teenager that abusive behavior is never acceptable.—Talk with your child about the importance of trust and rela-tionship boundaries. Let your teen know their privacy is important, and they should be concerned about anyone who wants to share passwords for phone or e-mail accounts.—Model good relationships. Be respectful in your relationships at home and show your teenager that communicating in a positive way helps build trust and respect.

1. A B C D

Free SAT and ACT Test Prep Program for Military members and families at

www.eknowledge.com/Mil


Help Your Family Face Challenges Successfully: Building Your Family's Resilience

Long deployment separations, difficult post-deployment adjustments, frequent moves and major life changes and chal-

lenges can make navigating military life difficult. While most families are able to manage the unique demands of military

life, some families seem to handle these challenges with more ease. Some families may be naturally more able to address

these challenges based on their life experiences, for example. If you are looking for ways to improve your own and your

family's resilience, this information may help.

What is resilience?

One popular definition of resilience is the ability to withstand, recover and grow in the face of stressors and changing

demands. Being resilient doesn't mean you avoid emotional pain and suffering when faced with a crisis. Instead, it

means you're able to recover and even grow stronger from the

experience. Experts are beginning to discover what makes some

people more resilient than others and to identify things we can

do to increase resilience in ourselves and our families.

Characteristics of resilient families

In Strengthening Family Resilience, (The Guilford Press, 2006),

resilience specialist Dr. Froma Walsh identifies nine character-

istics that resilient families share. These characteristics reveal

the family belief systems, organizational patterns and communi-

cation/problem-solving skills that foster resilience in adults and

children.

•Finding meaning in adversity - Resilient families view crises as

shared challenges that together they can understand, manage

and make meaningful in some way. They see their emotions as

human and understandable under the circumstances and believe

in their ability to learn from their experiences and move forward.

•Positive outlook - Resilient families have an optimistic rather

than pessimistic view of life. Members see each other's strengths

and offer encouragement to overcome difficulties or accept what

can't be changed.

(Continues on page 13)

2014 Camp Corral Schedule coming soon

Check http://campcorral.org

2014 Operation PurpleSign up at

www.militaryfamily.org to receive

announcements for upcoming

Operation Purple Camps.

Bounce Back


2-3 May 2014, Raleigh areaMarriage Weekend Event,

Priority registration for members of the 30th Brigade Special Troops Battalion.

2-3 May 2014, Raleigh areaSingles Weekend Event

Priority registration for members of the 30th Brigade Special Troops Battalion.

14 June 2014, Raleigh area One-Day Marriage Event

27-29 June 2014, North Carolina Beach areaMarriage Weekend event

22-24 August 2014, North Carolina Beach areaMarriage Weekend Event

12-14 September 2014, Charlotte areaFamily Weekend Event

Limited Space is available. Check your calendar and see which date may work for you. Locations and additional information will be provided. For registration or general questions, please contact:

Staff Sgt. Tammy Fowler at (800) 621-4136 ext.46876 or via e-mail at [email protected]

Just In Time....

Strong Bonds 2014

1 0 F a m i l y M a t t e r s F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 4

FRG preparedness is a year round effort and the im-

portance of family support and family readiness can-

not be overstressed. Deployment exercises at monthly

drills keep our soldiers at the highest state of pre-

paredness possible. Why then, would we not want our

FRG’s to be just as ready? Family readiness means less

stress for both soldiers and family members during all

phases of the deployment cycle.

In order for an FRG to be fully “ready,” they must un-

derstand the importance of frequent meetings and con-

stant communication with the Families. Assuring that

all families, not just the FRG Leaders, are informed

should be a top goal within the organization; this way

all members will be prepared for a possible separation

or emergency. Building the foundation and support

network before the inevitable questions, problems or

issues during deployments is key. Families should get

to meet other people in the FRG before a deployment

so they are building the friendships and bonds before

versus looking for them when the (Soldiers) are gone.

You start making the foundations now and it makes it

easier when they (deploy).”

FRGs are not just for deployments, it’s about staying

“ready” for any period of separation whether it be dur-

ing your soldier’s annual training, emergencies, other

activations for natural disasters, schools, (anytime your

soldier is away from home). Be prepared…be READY!

Additionally, having an organized FRG with numerous

persons involved, will assure that business will contin-

ue in the event that a leader needs to step down. We

have all heard of FRGs falling apart when an individual

decides to resign their position or when the troops

come home from deployment. An effective FRG should

not falter events like this. All FRG’s should be properly

resourced with people and equipment.

The Family Programs Office is full of resources and

experts in the field of Family Readiness and organiza-

tion. Utilize what is offered to your groups and let’s be

prepared for anything that may arise!

Being ReadyBeing Preparedpre·pare

pri'pe(ə)r/verbmake (something) ready for use or consideration."prepare a brief summary of the article"synonyms:make/get ready, put together, draw up

Vector Graphic by DryIcons- Use under free Lisence

By Judy Richardson, Senior FRSAAs we start the New Year, many of us look forward to making new goals and resolutions. What better time than now to look at our Family Readiness Groups and ask, “Are we as prepared as we can be?”

As we go into February, we all know about President's Day and Valentine's Day but did you know that February 17th is "Random Acts of Kindness Day". What about volunteering, helping a neighbor or "Pay it Forward".

F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 4 F a m i l y M a t t e r s 1 1

National Guard Bureau Joint Service Support

The National Guard Bureau Joint Ser-vices Support organization is dedicated to providing policies, resources and train-ings. Some of the programs you will find here are: Yellow Ribbon Reintegration, Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (ESGR), National Guard Fam-ily, NGB Psychological Health, Sexual Assault and Prevention, and Warrior Support.

The JSS website also provides command-ers, FRG leaders and volunteers with local resources and events, presentation templates, volunteer time trackers, com-munity forums, self-paced e-learning trainings, and every possible support tool your Guard families may need. Signing up is free and easy and is a great way to link our state FRG’s together!

Visit www.jointservicessupport.org

Registration is Now OpenWilmington February 22:

https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/EventDetails.aspx?Mode=ReadOnly&Id=3E7B121B-11E5-4DA1-8239-DFC5CCD86998

Greensboro March 8:

https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/EventDetails.aspx?Mode=ReadOnly&Id=58FE5F7A-95FB-49FB-BA7F-DB3C007455D7

FRG Regional Training

Taxes

The Raleigh Office will accept tax appointments on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 0900-1400 starting 20 January 2014 and running till 15 April 2014. This year we will also open the Raleigh Office for tax appointments on two Saturdays from 0900-1400; 15 February 2014 and 15 March 2014. Appointments can be scheduled by calling Legal Assistance (919) 664-6220 / (800) 621-4136 Ext. 46220.

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday15 Feb &15 March

Military Extension Internship Programs www.ydae.purdue.edu/military

The Military Extension Internship Program provides college students and recent graduates opportunities to use their college coursework

in the real world through valuable work experience with military child and youth

programs.

Internships Applications for Fall 2014 are due

1 Feb - 31 March 2014.


Bounce Back continued-page 9

•Transcendence and spirituality - Re-

silient families have beliefs and values

that offer meaning, purpose and con-

nection beyond their personal lives

and troubles. They find strength and

comfort in their cultural and religious

traditions and experience spiritual in-

spiration in a variety of ways, including

nature, the arts, service to others, and

faith in a higher power.

•Flexibility - Resilient families adapt

to change. They're able to adjust their

family roles and rules to fit new life

challenges while maintaining the ritu-

als and traditions that provide stability

in their relationships. Their flexibility

depends on strong, yet nurturing leader-

ship, guidance, protection of children,

and mutual respect in the marital rela-

tionship.

•Connectedness - Resilient families

pull together during times of crisis.

They're able to function as a team and

support each other while respecting in-

dividual needs, differences and bound-

aries.

•Social and economic resources -

When they can't solve problems on

their own, resilient families reach out

for help by turning to extended family,

friends, neighbors, community services

and/or counseling.

•Open emotional sharing - Resilient

families accept and encourage a wide

range of emotional expression (joy, sad-

ness, fear, silliness, etc.) in adults and

children. Family members take respon-

sibility for their own feelings and accept

others who have different feelings. They

value positive interactions and appreci-

ate humor, even as they cope with dif-

ficult circumstances.

•Clarity - Resilient families practice

clear, consistent and honest communi-

cation. Family members say what they

mean and mean what they say; thus,

they avoid sending vague, confusing or

mixed messages to each other.

Collaborative problem solving - Resil-

ient families manage their difficulties

by working together to understand a

problem and identify ways to solve it.

They make decisions together in ways

that allow family members to disagree

openly and then resolve those disagree-

ments through negotiation, compromise

and give-and-take. These families seek

to repair the hurts and misunderstand-

ings that go along with conflicts and act

proactively to solve current problems

and prevent future ones. They also

learn from their mistakes.

Increasing your family's resilience

If you're currently coping with a stress-

ful situation such as the deployment of

a loved one to a combat area or caring

for a wounded warrior or if you're suf-

fering from a loss or dealing with a cri-

sis of any kind, there are things you can

start doing right now to strengthen your

own resilience and model resilience for

your children. The American Psycho-

logical Association in its publication,

The Road to Resilience, recommends

10 ways to become more resilient when

dealing with stress or adversity:

•Make connections. Good relationships

with close family members, friends or

others are important. Accepting help

and support from those who care about

you and will listen to you strengthens

resilience. Some people find that being

active in civic groups, faith-based orga-

nizations or other local groups provides

social support and can help restore

hope. Assisting others in their time of

need can also benefit the helper.

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable

problems. You can't change the fact that

highly stressful events happen, but you

can change how you interpret and re-

spond to them. Try looking beyond the

present to brighter days a little farther

down the line. Note any subtle ways in

which you might already feel somewhat

better as you deal with difficult situa-

tions.

•Accept that change is part of living.

Certain goals may no longer be attain-

able as a result of adverse situations.

Accepting circumstances that can-

not be changed can help you focus on

things you can change.

•Move toward your goals. Develop

some realistic goals. Do something,

however small, on a regular basis that

helps you move toward your goals.

Instead of focusing on tasks that seem

unachievable, ask yourself, "What's one

thing I know I can accomplish today

that helps me move in the direction I

want to go?"


Need a quick reminder? Follow us on Twitter

•Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as

you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching com-

pletely from problems and stresses and wishing they would

just go away.

•Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn

something about themselves and may find that they've grown

in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many

people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have

reported better relationships, a greater sense of personal

strength even while feeling vulnerable, an increased sense of

self-worth, a more developed spirituality and a heightened

appreciation for life.

•Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence

in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts

helps build resilience.

•Keep things in perspective. Even when facing a painful

event, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader con-

text and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing it out

of proportion.

•Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables

you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try to

visualize what you want instead of worrying about what you

fear.

•Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and

feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing.

Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your

mind and body primed to deal with situations that require

resilience.

Raising resilient children

Different factors, including temperament and intelligence,

influence children's resilience. However, no influence is

more important than the parenting they receive. When par-

ents model and teach their children the habits of resilient

families, the children will already have many of the skills

needed to cope with difficult situations when they occur.

Still, during difficult times, children need additional support

and attention from parents, even as the parents are dealing

with the same difficulties themselves.

You can help build resilience in your children during times

of stress or adversity by giving them as much of your time as

you can. When you're with them, encourage communication

by listening to their concerns and answering their questions

with openness, honesty and reassurance.

Article from Military One Source. To view the original visit

www.militaryonesource.com.

@NCNGFAMILY

Don't procrastinate with the school year more than half over, testing in May is just around the corner.

If your child is struggling with any subjects, please remember to use Tutor.com (free online tutoring for military children)


Updating Your User Profile in JSSDuring this session, you will learn how to request a change to your state affiliation and role permissions, update your personal informa-tion, reset your JSS password and view your JSS History. Please reg-ister online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time.Thursday February 6, 2014 10:00 – 10:30 AM EST, EasternRegister at (copy the entire link below into your browser)https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistra-tion.aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=4e8dc591-fae9-491f-88ab-6-cf35a769b81

Communicating in JSSDuring this session, you will learn how JSS enables you to connect with JSS members through Announcements, Blogs, Forums, E-mail Campaigns, the File Library and Groups. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time.Thursday February 6, 2014 11:00 - 11:30 AM EST, EasternRegister at (copy the entire link below into your browser)https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistration.aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=dd700028-f3c2-4187-a770-3599767-cba0c

Using the E-mail Campaigns Tool in JSSThis webinar shows staff how to use the e-mail campaigns tool, including create an e-mail campaign for the JSS Community or an event, view the e-mail queue and edit or delete a saved draft. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time.Tuesday February 25, 2014 10:00 – 10:30 AM, EasternRegister at (copy the entire link below into your browser)https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistra-tion.aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=c76200ef-3e6e-4a9d-968d-f672672ebb0b

Maintaining Unit Information in JSSKeeping unit data current in JSS is critical for a variety of system functions. This webinar shows SFRSAs how to maintain unit informa-tion, including step by step instructions for adding, deleting, and ed-iting units in JSS. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time.Tuesday February 25, 2014 Noon – 12:30 PM, EasternRegister at (copy the entire link below into your browser)https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistra-tion.aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=24ff4f02-d92e-42ef-b6a1-61-af9cc73432

After registering, you will receive a confirmation e-mail containing information about joining the webinar.

2014 NC Pre-K has started

Visit http://ncchildcare.dhhs.state.nc.us

for your county representative

The Volunteer Training Team (VTT) will be having

February 2014 webinar - Volunteer Community Net-

work (VCN) - Effect of Deployment on Service Mem-

bers and Families. We will have a panel of experts to

discuss and answer your questions regarding the ef-

fects of deployment.

We hope to see you online the first two weeks in Feb-

ruary.

Session 1

February 4th 10:00 AM -11:00 AM, Eastern

https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/921374426

February 6th 9:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Eastern


Session 2

February 11th 10:00 AM -11:00 AM, Eastern


February 13th 9:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Eastern


This is a Voice over “Internet” (VoIP) session, please

use where possible. Follow prompts post login. Speak-

ers for sound are required & microphone (optional) to

participate in the conversation.

If you do not have a microphone & want to be able to

speak or attend by telephone please use the toll free

line:1-877-380-7755 - access code 4665215


Personal Financial CounselorOur Personal Financial Counselor can provide FREE

one-on-one financial counseling services to you and your Family.

Mr. Chip Jurgensen, CFP, NCJFSAP(919) 334-8313

[email protected]

FAMILy ASSISTANCE CENTERS

Family Assistance Centers are located across the State to provide assistance to ALL Military Service Members and their Families. If you know of a Service Member or Military Family

that has a question or concern, please share our contact numbers, web site, newsletter, and Facebook link.

We're here to help.

Asheville Military Family Resource Center7 yorkshire St. Suite 101, 28803/Fax: (828) 274-7209Rebekah Torres, (828) 274-8571

Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center4240 West Blvd., 28208/(800) 621-4136Carry Bandy, FAC Specialist, [email protected], Ext. 14573Gabrielle H. O'Flanagan, [email protected], Ext 14547

Greensboro State Family Assistance Center (SFAC)110 Franklin Blvd, Greensboro, 27401 (800) 621-4136 Ext.15651Sandy Harrison, [email protected]

Greenville State Family Assistance Center1401 N. Memorial Dr., 27834/(800) 621-4136 Ext. 11150Dawn White, [email protected]

Lenoir State Family Assistance Center1535 Beecher Anderson Rd., 28645/(800) 621-4136 Ext. 11242Frances Johnson, [email protected]

Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 4105 Reedy Creek Rd., Raleigh, NC, 27607/(800) 621-4136Lisa Faison, [email protected], Ext. 47100Mark Woolbright, [email protected], Ext. 47102

Raleigh JFHQ Unit Family Contact Center1636 Gold Star Drive, Raleigh, NC, 27607/800-621-4136 Ext. 46078 Wendi Bell, [email protected] Bowman, [email protected], Ext. 46979

Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center406 Hospital Rd., 27577/(800) 621-4136 Ext.12784Abby Millsap, [email protected]

Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center510 W. Morganton Rd., PO Box 1317, 28387/(800) 621-4136 Ext. 12863Earlene Capps, [email protected],

Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center2412 Infantry Rd., 28405/(800) 621-4136Jim Marley, [email protected], Ext. 16918

Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy., 27103/(800) 621-4136 Ext. 17131Sandy Harrison, FAC Specialist, [email protected]

STATEWIDE SuPPORT

MFLC PROGRAM~Provides short-term, situational, problem-solving

counseling services to Servicemembers and their Families~Provides psycho-education to help military Servicemembers and their Families

understand the impact of stress, deployments, family reunions following deployments and the stresses of military life

~MFLC services augment existing military support services~Flexible service delivery (Outreach/Rotational and On-Demand); Services can

be provided on or off military installations~Services provided to individuals, couples, families, and groups

~Children’s Support Program addresses military impact on children

~MFLCs are mandated reporters of child abuse, domestic abuse and duty-to-warn situations

~Services are otherwise confidential and private

Staff:John Alleman

Adult and Family Specialist(919) 745-9635

Betty Steelman

Youth and Family Specialist(919) 665-9178

Charlotte: Nikkie [email protected]

Morrisville: Darlette [email protected] Ext. 16313

Oxford: Norman Dean [email protected]. 12182

Raleigh: George [email protected] Ext. 46714

Clinton: Sarah [email protected]. 14735

Goldsboro: Greg Smith [email protected] Ext. 15423

Greensboro: Gloria [email protected]

Jacksonville: Judy Richardson [email protected]. 11346

FAMILy READINESS SuPPORT ASSISTANTS(800) 621-4136 PLuS EXTENSION


family matters february 2014

Documents