Priceless

Winter 2014

Are You a Helicopter Parent?

Thank You from Fletcher Family

Natural Ways to Stay Healthy

Fire Safety Tipsfor the Holidays Daddys Little Girl

Our Cover Family The Fletchers

Look inside for deals and promotions offered by our advertisers

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Message From the PublisherAs The closing of 2013 is a tough one for me. I do not feel quite ready to see it end. It has been a year filled with realized goals, accom-plishments and milestones for myself and for my family. Our eldest has moved out and started Col-lege. As proud as we are of her, we miss her like crazy and look forward to her visits on weekends, when she is not working. Our son has started his first real part time job and he is driving. This is a tough one to handle. I have never been a fan of boys with car keys! I just have to hope that every-thing he has been taught will outweigh all the peer pressure from silly boys who like adventure! Our youngest has realized her dream of dancing competitively. This has been a goal of hers for a couple of years now. We are super proud!

As for myself, I have had my share of accom-plishments as well. I ran my first 5K this summer.

It was one of those things that I had been saying One day, I will for years. I did it! I finally did it! For those of you who run, you might be thinking, big deal! For those of you who know me, you know it was a big deal! I want to thank my wonderful husband for all his love and patience throughout this past year. I have had some bucket list items to cross off and he has been has been my biggest supporter.

I am excited for 2014! I cant wait to see what it will bring for my family, for you, and for this com-munity. I wish all of our advertisers, tremendous success in the coming year. You all work so hard, and deserve much success! I look forward to another great year of helping you grow your busi-nesses. To the readers, I pray for love, peace and good health for you and your loved ones. I am excited to bring you more of what you care about. Please continue to communicate with us on Facebook or by email with your ideas. I appreciate all of your feedback, always! I sincerely thank all of you for your support this year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Susana Medeiros familymattersinmilton@gmail.com 647-407-5540

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CONTENTSAre You a Helicopter Parent? 5

Thank You from The Fletcher Family 7

Fire Safety Tips for the Holidays 8

Natural Ways to Stay Healthy 12

Daddys Little Girl 17

All editorial content is property of Family Matters in Milton Magazine and cannot be rprinted in part or in whole without the written permission of the Publisher. All rights reserved. The Publisher reserves the right to reuse content and may reuse content in other media forms for the purpose of promotion of the Magazine or the Advertisers. The publisher does not necessarily endorse the products or services advertised. The publisher makes all efforts to ensure that information is current and accurate. However, the publisher does not assume liability for errors or omissions. All content is meant for information purposes only. For medical advice, please see your medical professional.

Cover photo by Eujenia Medeiros

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WHAT IS A HELICOPTER PARENT? This pop culture term refers to the hovering or over-involved parent (Gabriel, 2010). Helicopter parents are anx-ious about their childs well-being and/or success, and attempt to protect their child

from hardship and disappointment. Heli-copter parents provide their children with more guidance and direction than other parents, and are more involved with their day-to-day activities. Essentially, helicopter parents micromanage their childrens lives.

Are You a Helicopter Parent?

reassuring for children. Use of a calendar so children can anticipate the familys schedule is helpful. Time with the steppar-ent doing enjoyable activities will facilitate bonding.Take Home MessageTo successfully ease your child into a blended family it is important to create predictable routines, opportunities for shared family experiences, and facilitate bonding by allowing your child alone time with each parent. It is also important to accept and acknowledge your childs feelings of loyalty, rejection, loss and fear, so that they feel that you understand and accept them. Difficulties tend to occur when children do not feel heard or accepted, resulting in hurt feelings. You can create secure emotional

connections between all family members by understanding each family members unique experience in the newly blended family, which means working through problems by sharing and acknowledging emotional feelings.References: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/blended families stepfamilies.htm Furrow, J. and Palmer, G. (2007) EFFT and blended families: Building bonds from the inside out. Journal of Systematic Therapies, 26 (4), 44-58.

Written by Kim Saliba, MSc. Child & Family Therapist New Leaf Psychology Centre 400 Main St. East, Suite 210 www.newleafpsychology.ca 905-878-5050

Examples of Helicopter Parenting

DevelopmentalStage

Supportive Parent

Helicopter Parent

Costs to Children

Toddler Supervising the climbing of stairs

Supervising the climbing of the couch

Overly attentive parenting leads to difficulty managing emotions

and more frequent tantrums.

Child Discussing possible options

to resolve a conflict with a friend

Mediating a discussion between your child and

their friend about a conflict they have had

Lack of independence socializing and problem solving leads to

overreliance on parents to resolve conflict and poor social skills.

Teen Driving your teen to their first job

interview

Joining your teen for part of their first job interview to be sure their strengths

are known

Lack of independence with problem solving and

decision making leads to overreliance on parents and

insecurity in making life decisions.

Young Adult Offering to pay for a tutor when your child fails a

university test

Calling the professor of the course your child failed a test in to get

their mark raised

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T he word community gets tossed around in many different contexts, but what is it that allows a community to come to fruition? There is no list of criteria. There is no committee that deems a specific group of individuals a commu-nity. So what is it that brings a potentially vast group of people together to support a common cause or to share a common interest? Let me tell you about our community, and how powerful a common bond can, literally, change your life. Our community has been continuously growing over the last seven years and is populated by people from all walks of life. Everyone is welcome with open arms, regardless of background, beliefs, and experience. So why is it that this community doesnt stop growing? What common interest is bringing all of these people together day in and day out? They truly just want to make themselves better as a person. It starts with wanting to be fit, but there is always an underlying goal. Perhaps its to be a better father by having enough energy to play with their kids. Perhaps its to overcome depression by stepping outside of their comfort zone. Or maybe its just to be a more physically capable human being.

Theres something about getting through a CrossFit workout that makes people bond. No one really knows why, but what we do know is that after hitting a WOD (workout of the day), we are as

exhausted as the person next to us, and all we want to do is high-five! Whatever it is that puts every-one on a level playing ground is what brings our community together. Nobody here is perfect, but that drive for relative improvement is everyones common goal. With some guidance from some extremely selfless owners, our members learn to support one another. Cheering for someone as they finish their

final reps of a workout. Helping someone learn a new skill, or even help a fellow member move, are just a few examples of random acts of kindness displayed amongst our community. Can this community truly change a life? Just ask our members!We Come for the Results, but Stay for the Community

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8Thank You! From Kimm Fletcher and Family

Milton mother with brain cancer fights for OHIP coverage of treatment.

Kimm Fletcher, a 41 year old Milton mother of two, has been fighting brain cancer. Her doctors have prescribed a treatment called Avastin. This treat-ment can prolong her life anywhere from 6 to 18 months, and possibly longer. The Fletchers were shocked to find that this treatment would not be covered by OHIP. Avastin is covered in other provinces and for other types of cancer, but not in Ontario and not her type of cancer. Thanks to fund-raising, Kimm and her family can now pay for the treatment that will allow her to make more memories with her husband and children.

The following is a Letter of Gratitude from Kim Fletcher and her family.

As I sit down to write this story, I am completely overwhelmed, not only where to begin but with the thought of leaving someone out who has helped us along this journey. I am Kimm, a mother, a wife and a Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM) cancer survivor. Together, we are the Fletchers. We are an average busy family living and working in Milton. My husband Scott, operates a small business in town. Our 9 year old Keidon, 7 year old

Martie both play soccer with MYSC as well race go-karts with the WRKC, and I am on long term disability but still played Soccer. In January 2010, I was diagnosed with a stage 3 brain tumour. After surgery and weeks of radiation treatment, recovery and time, I was on the road back to living a pretty normal life especially after hearing in June 2011 I was in remission. I played soccer, coached the kids soccer, was able to be

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Gingerbread House Making CompetitionDec. 1 The Bread House Open to boys and girls ages 5 to 13265 Main Street 905-636-8888 www.smellslikebread.comDec. 15 1pm to 3pm - Special Group Rate for Family Matters ReadersPlease enquire by email: familymattersinmilton@gmail.com

Horse Drawn Carriage Rides through Downtown Milton with SantaDecember 5, 12, 19 6pm to 9pm Departs at Main and Brown

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Victorian Singers Carol through Downtown MiltonDecember 7 Miracle on Main Street December 9 from 6am to 9am Outside of Troys DinerDont forget an unwrapped toy!

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part of a couple of Globe Production shows. Yes we did struggle from time to time with knowing wheret my disease is at what it is capable of becoming, but it did not control our life. In June 2013 I was told I had new tumour growth would need another surgery. I had my surgery August 20, 2013. Two weeks later, I was told my tumour was out of control and that I needed to start Avastin and oral Chemotherapy within two weeks. We found out that my insurance carrier or our Ontario Health care system does not cover the bi-weekly cost of $4200.00 for Avastin. We were in shock, Scott and I started to put a plan together to sell the house and business in order to pay for treatments. Within days of this news our nephew Matthew and his friends Selena and Serena Teixeira started to make and sell Loom Bracelets to friends, family, sports teams then at local businesses and at their schools. It was amazing to see these 9 and 11 year olds

start fund raising for me. With the loom bracelet fund raising it helped pay for my first Avastin Treatment. What we did not expect was what events happened from there. From fundraisers at Champs, Hawthorne Caf, TD Bank, Kids Clothing Sale, MYSC, Shunytoa Yoga, Wrapped Up, Pampered Chef, Colour House, Trading Post, Legendary Motor Car, Shoeless Joes, Family Matters in Mil-ton, Cirque Du Play, The Village Commu-nity Church along with Media support we are now relieved to know we have funds for more then a years worth of treatments. We look forward to continue to raise funds for Avastin treatments in order to surpass my 18 month goal. We watched as our amazing community rallied around us, from loved ones, friends, family and strangers. We would like to thank every-one for all of this love and support.Sincerley, The Fletchers

Want To Be Our Next Cover Family?Email: familymattersinmilton@gmail.com

Continued from page 8

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Mix all ingredients together and form balls. Place on greased cookie sheet and freeze. Store in plastic bags in freezer. When ready to use, bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes until firm, not hard. Makes 60 balls.4 spinach balls count as : veg, protein, 1 fat, 1 dairy, starch

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1. Sleep at least from 11pm-6am2. Never skip breakfast3. Protein with every meal4. Have enough fibre everyday5. Exercise at least 15 to 30 minutes

everyday6. Deep breathing exercises7. Essential Fatty Acids 1200mg to

1500mg per day 8. Balance and plan your meals.9. Choose Healing foods

Daily Recommended Fiber Intake

Women50 yrs. 21 grams per dayMen50 yrs. 30 grams per day

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1. Weight in pounds divided by 2.2 = weight in kg

2. Weight in kg x 0.8-1.8 gm/kg = protein gm.

Natural Ways to Stay Healthy

Food Item Serving Size Total Antioxidant Capacity Per Serving Size

1 Red Beans (dried) Half Cup 13727

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3 Red Kidney Beans (dried) Half Cup 13259

4 Pinto Beans Half Cup 11864

5 Blueberry 1 Cup 9019

6 Cranberry 1 Cup (whole) 8983

7 Artichoke (cooked) 1 Cup (hearts) 7904

8 Blackberry 1 Cup 7701

9 Prune Half Cup 7291

10 Raspberry 1 Cup 6058

11 Strawberry 1 Cup 5938

12 Red Delicious Apple One 5900

Top 20 Antioxidant Rich Foods

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Get a freshly cut tree. It will stay green longer and be less of a fire hazard. Try to pick a tree with a strong green colour and noticeable fragrance. Always test for freshness before buying. A tree with high moisture content is safer. Very few needles should fall when the butt of the tree is tapped on the ground; needles should bend, not break; and the stump should be sticky with resin. Place the tree in a stand that will hold 2 to 3 litres of water and top it up daily. Make sure it is always immersed in water: If water drops below the trunk, the stem may reseal itself, requiring a fresh cut. Use a tree stand that has widespread legs for better balance. Do not set your tree up near a heat source such as a radiator, television, fireplace, heat-ing duct or sunny window. It should not block doors or windows. Never use lighted candles on the tree. Remove the tree within 10 to 14 days. After that amount of time in a heated building, even the freshest tree can start to dry out.DecorationsChoose decorations that are flame-retardant, non-combustible and non-conductive. If there are young children or pets in your home, avoid very small decorations. Avoid using angel hair (glass wool) together with spray-on snowflakes. This combination is highly combustible. Do not use metallic ornaments on the tree. If they make contact with defective wiring they could become a shock hazard.LightsUse Canadian Standards Association (CSA) certified light strings/sets.

Use the proper lights for the environ-ment. Indoor light strings/sets should not be used outdoors because they

lack weatherproof connections. Some outdoor light strings/sets burn too hot indoors.

Inspect light strings/set before use. Check for cracked bulbs and for frayed, broken or exposed wires, and discard if faulty. Do not use electric light strings/

sets on metallic trees. A faulty system could energize the tree and shock or elec-trocute anyone coming into contact. Illuminate metallic trees with colored flood-

lights placed at a safe distance from the tree and out of reach. Turn off tree and display lights before retiring

for the night or before leaving the house.CandlesPlace candles away from absolutely anything that could catch fire. Never leave burning candles unattended. Burn them only when a responsible adult is overseeing the flame. Put candles in sturdy holders on a stable surface, well away from drafts, curtains, children and pets. Snuff them out before leaving the room or going to sleep.The FireplaceNever burn gift wrappings, boxes, cartons, or other types of packing in the fireplace. They burn too rapidly and generate far too much heat. Dont hang Christmas stockings from the mantel when the fireplace is in use. Always use a screen in front of the fireplace to protect against flying sparks.

Fire Safety Tips for the Holidays

Continued on page 22

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As the holidays approach, its natural to reflect on the themes of relationship and family. Families offer companionship, security, and a measure of protection from the outside world. Family structure has undergone significant changes in the past few decades. Variations in family structure are plentiful. However, one important relationship that is commonly overlooked is the bond between father and daughter. A fathers influence in his daughters life helps to shape her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinions of men. As children, girls tend to decide what men are like from the father-figures in their lives. These men (i.e., biological fathers and otherwise), become the benchmark for what to expect of men and what to expect of mens attitudes towards women. A daughter will look at her fathers relationship with her mother or partner as a model for what her relationship will look like with men in the future. There are several ways that fathers can build their bond at different stages of their daughters life:Infancy:Dads can start building a secure attachment with their daughter from the day she is born. It is important for dads to help take care of their daughters physical and emotional needs. Bathe, change diapers, feed and play with your daughter. Even at this age, girls can learn that men have a positive role in their life!Childhood: The relationships between fathers and daugh-ters benefit considerably from experiences shared with one another. Fathers tend to build closeness with their daughters through doing activities, while mothers focus on talking to gain closeness. Both relationships are essential. Fathers need to spend regular quality time with their daughter. Take her to the movies, out for a hike, read together, play a round of soccer or go out for dinner. Many girls like to do the

same things that boys tend to do with their dads. A significant amount of women experience some type of sexual harassment in childhood. One of the best preventative measures is for fathers to help teach their daughters about privacy, modesty, and appropriate boundaries. Fathers should model where the lines are be-tween appropriate affection and inappropriate touch. Dads need to let their daughters know that they love her with words of love, encour-agement, and hugs that are age appropriate.Adolescents: Dads should not pull away or withdraw from their daughters during the tumultuous stage of adolescence. Continue to build the trusting relationship that you established with your daughter in infancy. Listen to her stories of accomplishment and struggle, empathize with her and recognize that she does not always want you to solve the problem. Sometimes daughters just want to be heard. Fathers should help their daughters feel loved no matter how well or how poorly she performs in the world. Compliment your daughters. Many adoles-cent females struggle with body image and are preoccupied with how they look. Many believe they dont look good enough. Fathers can help their daughters by sincerely and appro-priately complimenting their daughters this goes a long way in building their daughters self-esteem. As girls become young women, they may continue to be daddys little girl. Fathers can rest assured that,Womens childhood relation-ships with their fathers are important to them all their lives. Regardless of their age or status, women who seem clearest about their goals and most satisfied with their lives...usually remember that their fathers enjoyed them and were actively interested in their development.- Stella Chess

Daddys Little GirlCertain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our

daughters there is something which there are no words to express. Joseph Addison

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Never use gasoline or any other flammable liquids to start a fire. Use only seasoned and dried wood. Never leave the fire unattended or let it smoulder. Clean the ashes regularly. Place the ashes in a metal container and store outside away from flammable materials. Dont use Christmas trees for firewood.

Electrical OutletsThere is often a tendency to overload wall outlets during the holiday season. This is an unsafe practice and should be avoided even for short durations. Inspect all cords before using. Make sure they are CSA certified. Look for loose connections or frayed or exposed wire. Discard any defective cords. Read the labels and manufacturers instructions to ensure proper use. Insert plugs fully into outlets. Poor contact may cause overheating or shock. To avoid possible overheating, do not coil or bunch an extension cord which is in use

and do not run it under carpets or rugs.

The KitchenGrease and fat fires are a leading cause of home fires in Canada, so be extra careful when doing this kind of cooking. Heres what to do if grease in a pot or pan catches fire: Smother the flames by covering the pan with a lid. Turn off the heat immediately. Use baking soda (flour can be explosive) on shallow grease fires. Never turn on the overhead fan, as this could spread the fire. Never throw water on a grease fire.

Gift Suggestions Home smoke alarm Carbon monoxide detector Multi-purpose (ABC) fire extinguisher Candle snuffer Thermostatically controlled deep fryer

Last but not least ... make sure your smoke detectors work!

Continued from page 18

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