Epic Stress?This Too Shall Pass

Many of us spend our lives exhausted by our inability to cope with the acute and chronic stress in our lives.

As pilots of our lives many times we make decisions and take action because of changes resulting from the actions of others...

and this brings unavoidable stress.

McKenna (2011)

Real or Perceived Threats Stress

Drive

Fight or Flight

Response

Stress Hormone Cocktail

• Increased heart rate• Increased blood pressure• Increased rate of breathing• Increased muscle tension• Increased perspiration• Increased metabolic

activity

• Changes in appetite• Suppressed immune

system• Persistent feelings of

anxiety, irritability, depression and muscle tension

• Increased heart rate and blood pressure, increasing the risk of heart attack and stroke

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it. Lou Holtz

Chronic StressAcute Stress

We all face challenging journeys, but they are our journeys, and our futures to energize …

How we react to stress…

Difficult childhoods or fantastic life adventures in your family history might bequeath you a personality with anxiety or resilience by altering the epigenetic expressions of genes in the brain.

But these epigenetic expressions are life’s Etch a Sketch and when shaken hard enough, can be wiped clean and positively altered.

Hurley (2013)

Thriving

Resilience

Healthy Coping

Just Getting By (Tolerating)

Unhealthy Coping

Addiction

Distress

Bennett (2014) Raw Coping Power

Set-Point

There are different levels through which we process stressful experiences from severe distress to rich uplifting experiences of thriving.

Our values help determine what we settle for and our day-to-day willingness to raise our levels.

Thriving

Resilience

Healthy Coping

Just Getting By (Tolerating)

Unhealthy Coping

Addiction

DistressBennett (2014) Raw Coping Power

It is always a choice to move up or down and our environment can have a strong influence.

Bi-directional arrow conveys our set-point can fluctuate depending on changes in our situation.

We are inclined to hangout at or between levels. This is where our values are important for they tend to be more enduring than day-to-day changes.

Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit. Bernard William, English Philosopher 1929-2003

Resilience

• The ability to bounce back in challenging times

• The ability to persevere, stay positive, and adapt in difficult circumstances

• A form of psychological / behavioral immunity to distress and dysfunction

• Discovering daily well-being practices that sustain your resilience and values in challenging times

Basic Resiliency Principals• We are designed to learn, grow, and transform

from life experiences• Our nervous systems are a well-oiled system that

deal with stress at every stage• We can systematically transform our approach to

stress• We have an innate raw coping power we can tap

into • Our values determine the level which we process

stress• Social groups help others tap into their raw

coping power and thrive• Going beyond resilience is thriving and flourishing

How Resilient Are You?The questions on the worksheet are about resilience.  Score each question with the best answer that fits you.  After you have finished ‐total your score.

1 – absolutely disagree2 – disagree, 3 – neutral,  4 – agree,  5 – absolutely agree

www.thebounceblog.com

How Resilient Are You?  Scoring

60-75 You’re a super ball!

45-59 You are bouncing right along… most of the time.

30-44 Your ball has gone a little flat.

15-29 Your ball is completely flat.

• Mindfully engaging our hearts and souls in sustaining positive emotional states ….

• Increasing our resilient life energy through our natural strengths and being our best by mindfully living our values every day ….

• Committing to daily practices that serve as the fuel for empowering our life energy, and power our resilient reserves….

• Living fully by integrating body-mind-spirit resulting in whole person living ….

Keys to Building Resiliency

Turn to your neighbor and take a few minutes to talk about what

mindfulness means to you and how it affects your life and work.

Mindfulness Living in the Moment

Very old concept appearing in Buddhism and Hindu writings. 1970s Jon Kabat-Zinn established the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program.

A state of active, open attention to the present. Fill your body’s senses with what you are experiencing at the present moment.

Mindfulness opens up a gap between an event or emotion and your response to it.

Event

Emotion

Gap

Reaction

More mental space to

make better decisions &

wiser choices

Langley (2013) Mindfulness Workbook

Being – Doing – Auto PilotBeing

• Fully connected to the present moment

• Accepting things as they are

• Open to all emotions

• Grounded, still, tranquil

• Provides the brain a rest from doing

• Provides a mental place we can think about life, work on relationships, make decisions

Doing

• Doing is fun• Task oriented• Focused on

problem solving• Measures

achievement• Goal driven• Critical of failure• Not helpful when

dealing with emotional matters

• Tend to keep emotions at a distance

Autopilot

•Unconscious competence•Washing up•Cleaning the car or filling it up with gas•When locked in autopilot, we ten to react automatically without stopping to think – bad news for relationships

Mindfulness Activities – Breathing Mindfully

• Every breath we take confirms our moment to moment relationship with the world

• Ongoing rhythm of inhalation and exhalation gives us the nourishment and removes the waste

Mindful Breathing Exercise

• Breathe in and breathe out deeply • Your eyes can be open or closed• Pay attention and relax into the breath• Use mindful breathing when:

• Someone is saying unkind words to you• You are holding yourself back from a situation• You are waiting and trying to be patient• Walking

Titmuss (2003) Mindfulness for Everyday Living

Mindfulness Activities – Hand and Feet • Our hands reveal various states of the mind – calmness, sensitivity, and

restlessness.• Mindful awareness of our hands and feet can help you cultivate a deeper and more

conscious relationship between the mind and body.

Mindful Exercises for Hand and Feet

• Softly rub and then clap your full open hands together• Turn your attention to the bare sensation of your hands touching• Develop a calm focus on your hands, if your mind wanders bring it back

• Where are your feet? Firmly “grounded” to the floor or crossed with one hanging in the air?

• When walking be mindful of how your feet move through space and how they ground you when standing or as they make contact with the ground.

Titmuss (2003) Mindfulness for Everyday Living

Turn to your neighbor and take a few minutes to talk about what whole

person living means to you and how it affects your life and work.

Mindful Whole Person Living

EngagementGrowth

HappinessPositivism

MeaningPurpose

FaithHope

Positive emotional feelings that energize our resiliency ….

•Joy•Gratitude•Serenity•Interest•Hope•Pride•Amusement•Inspiration•Awe•Love

• 95% of our emotions are determined by the way we talk to ourselves

• Talking to ourselves in a positive way throughout the day, builds a predisposition to be positive

• Positivity opens our hearts and minds making us more receptive and creative

• Positivity transforms us for the better

JoyGratitudeSerenityInterestHopePride

AmusementInspiration

AweLove

Self-Talk – Words Can Change Your Brain

Fredrickson (2009) & Newberg & Waldman (2013)

• Engaging in life fully, being mindful and present for each moment.

• Recognizing and using our natural strengths increases our engagement capabilities.  

• Natural strengths are things we do well with little effort, yet engage and energize us because of their link to our core values.

Connections, Support, and Commitments Reenergizing the “We” in Life

George Everly (2012) suggests that interpersonal connectedness and support may be the single most powerful predictor of resilience.

What characteristics engender connectedness and support, and commitment? The most compelling characteristic is integrity or doing that which is right.

• Why are we here?  What is life about?  What is my purpose?

• A life of meaning is one focused on living a life of purpose and passion, and contributing to the lives of others.  

• A life with meaning thrives rather than just survives.  

Daily meaningful efforts to contribute to our own lives and the lives of others builds our resilient energy.  

Belief in something larger than yourself: love, family, peace, and God ….

•Hope•Joy•trust•Confidence•Conviction•Grace•Devotion•Steadfastness•Prayer / Mediation 

Striving daily for whole person living requires resiliency to ripple through our life energy!

Wellness Practices that Sustain our Resilient Life EnergySleep  ‐ Nutrition  ‐ Physical Activity  ‐ Stress Management / 

Relaxation

• Insufficient sleep makes it hard to concentrate, cope, or be happy.

• Poor nutrition reduces energy, increases risks, and exacerbates health challenges.

• Too little physical activity or exercise is like taking depressants.

• Weak stress management / relaxation and mindfulness practices leads to illness, injury and burnout.

Taking time each day for mindful moments brings your back to who you are and what is important? In doing so, you open your heart to whole person living.

When first diagnosed, I felt like I needed to cram as much as I could into life, but I’ve learned cramming leaves no time for living. It’s through the spaces we leave ourselves that we breathe in life and experience full living.

By being mindful we make space inside ourselves, so that the “be” inside can speak.

Mindful moments of deep listening hold everything open till what can’t be seen or heard is felt –changing who we are.

Deep mindful listening mixes the grit of our humanness with the dust of “just being”, connecting our living essence (mind, heart, emotions, intuitions, and life experiences).

In the same way the ocean calls us to wade, then dive into the deep. Mindfulness calls us to increasingly enter more fully.

When we open our hearts and minds to possibilities, life offers us new practices, insights, solutions, and collaborations.

The interwoven fabric of thriving.

Thriving and Flourishing is not just Surviving, but a Mindset Change

Daily physical activity, balanced nutrition, relaxation / stress management, & healthy sleep help us build and sustain our resilient life energy and grow our ability to thrive and flourish!

“Always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think…….”