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Established in 1589September, 1597 Issue #108

Capulet Montague

Heads Roll in Scotland!!

The Quarrel Continues! Murder Toll Rises!NO MORE KING!

Are you a Shakespeare,or a Molière?

see page 43, where we share how Mercutio died!!!

vs.

Jessica elopes with Lorenzo! ALL OF ANTONIO'S SHIPS

Shylock = Pissed Off !! SINK! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

JESSICA & LORENZODIP OUT1 OF VENICE!

& Shylock Reacts! By Richard Burbage2

That's right folks! The daring, rule-breaking, Christian/Jewish dynamic duo have split town! Jessica & Lorenzo, along with a trunk-full of Shylock's prized possessions have left eloped!

Shylock suspects brainwash. “My daughter. My only daughter! It's those damned Christians. I heard tell that sweet Jessica has converted to Christianity! Lorenzo could not have acted alone! He probably had the help of those buffoons, Gratiano, Salerio and

Solanio! I shall have my revenge!” Shylock said in an interview earlier this week with the Globe.Prejudice and intolerance3 is in the air like a pheromone in Venice! The growing conflict between Shylock and Antonio and his Christian friends is like a roller coaster! What will happen next?

Shylock's stress levels have risen since his daughter, Jessica has eloped. And with recent news of Antonio's ships sinking, what should Antonio's fate be? One can definitely assume Shylock will be seeking revenge4.

Salarino and Solanio filled in the Globe with all the hot gossip about Lorenzo and Jessica's elopement!

“Jessica and Lorenzo escaped with Jessica dressed up like a common page-boy!” Salarino told one of our reporters. “Why, that girl was so kind, it's hard to believe she was a Jew!”

“Shylock heard that Lorenzo and Jessica were sailing away from Italy! He raced to the ports but got there too late!” Solanio informed the Globe.

We also were informed that Jessica had stolen her late mother's ring and pawned it for cash. This word got to Shylock. He was not impressed. With these events taking place, Antonio's fate is most definitely uncertain.

1 Dip out: To leave before things get crazy / To leave a party or someone's home without them knowing / Sneak out (Urban Dictionary)2 Richard Burbage was one of Shakespeare's closest friends.3 Prejudice and intolerance is one of the main themes in the play, Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare. The Venetian Christians

express intolerance of Jews in Venice, like Shylock.4 Law, mercy and revenge is another of the main themes in the play, Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare.

WILLY SHAKEZ5 ON PORTIA'S SUITORS

By Willy Shakez

Like, OMG! Can we take a minute to talk about all of Portia's suitors, that of course, have come & gone. Baby, you just don't have what it takes, to get this ratchet6 diva. And I'm here with the Globe to share with you our take on these sad suitors and greasy guys!

The Prince of NaplesDid his mother have an affair with a blacksmith? We don't know! His great talent is being able to shoe his horse, and that horse is something he just won't shut up about! Portia, we are SOOOO glad you did not go for this guy. You'd end up having dreams about galloping horses and betting all of your fortune at the races after talking with this guy too much!

Count PalantineAlright friends – our buddy the Count needs some professional help, and FAST. The worry wrinkles on Portia's head would be as deep as the Venetian canal if she held on to this one. All he does is mope and frown. Not what Portia is looking for in a husband. Better luck next time!

Monsieur le BonWith not much more of a winning smile than Count Palantine, and a horse obsession like the Prince of Naples as well, Monsieur le Bon is definitely not what Portia needs. Thank God, he chose the wrong casket!

The Scottish LordI'm sorry, I thought we were looking for a man for Portia. He lets English man beat him up without putting up a defence, and he's wearing that skirt. Enjoy the trip home, laddie!

5 Parody on Perez Hilton, journalist, gossip columnist6 Ratchet: A diva, mostly from urban cities & ghettos that has reason to believe that she is every man's eye candy. (Urban Dictionary)

The Duke of Saxony's NephewWhat's this German's idea of a balanced diet? A pint of lager in each hand. Again, friends – we're looking for a man for Portia. Not a dog! Thank's for stopping by, young fellow, but on your way home, you might want to consider dropping into an A.A. Meeting!

The Moroccan PrinceWe all have our preferences... Portia has them too. She prefers white guys. Peace out, Mr Morocco!

Let's face it folks. We're waiting for Bassanio to show up. And he's on his way! Why, Bassanio wants to woo Portia so much, that him and Antonio borrowed 3000 ducats from Shylock, just so he could grasp her attention! Portia likes a guy who knows how to bring the dough!

Portia and Bassanio had met before when Portia's father was still alive. Bassanio is lookin' like the only guy who could fit Portia's standards. Let's just hope he chooses the right casket!!

BAD NEWS BEARSAll The Negative Stuff In The News, ON ONE PAGE!

Only in the GLOBE

• All of Antonio's ships have accidentally sunk. Antonio owes Shylock 3000 ducats or a pound of his flesh... A pound of flesh sounds pretty fatal!! How is this merchant gonna rake enough dough to pay back his debt?

• Romeo & Juliet pronounced dead at the scene! How will the Capulets and Montagues take it?

The Globe, Issue #108 by Steve Hall.This is a creative writing assignment, mainly for the Merchant of Venice, but also

includes a few other Shakespeare plays, as it is a Shakespearean time tabloid magazine.

Bibliography

Collier, John Payne. Memoirs of the Principal Actors in the Plays of Shakespeare. New York: AMS, 1971. Print.

“DerrtySouthBaby”. “’dip out.’” Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary, 17 Apr. 2004. Web. 29 Apr. 2013.

<http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dip%20out>.

Holmes, Martin, and William Shakespeare. Shakespeare and Burbage. London [usw.]: Phillimore, 1978. Print.

Litcharts Editors. “LitChart on the Merchant of Venice.” LitCharts.com. LitCharts, n.d. Web. 29 Apr. 2013.

<http://www.litcharts.com/files/pdf/printer/themerchantofvenice-LitChart.pdf>.

Mabillard, Amanda. “Shakespeare’s Friend Richard Burbage.” Editorial. Shakespeare Online. N.p., 21 Nov. 2000.

Web. 29 Apr. 2013. <http://www.shakespeare-online.com/biography/richardburbage.html>.

“Mr Yell-O”. “Ratchet.” Urban Dictionary. Urban Dictionary, 4 Sept. 2012. Web. 29 Apr. 2013.

<http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ratchet>.

Shakespeare, William. Macbeth. Updated ed. New York: Cambridge UP, 2008. Print.

- - -. The Merchant of Venice. 2010 ed. New York: Modern Library, 2010. Print.

- - -. Romeo and Juliet. Oxford: Oxford UP, 2000. Print.

Wickett, Lisa, OCT. “Acts 1&2 - Creative Writing Assignment.”