Xuefeng Corpus - Soul ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Do not in Any Way try to Change Others

Xuefeng

The most complicate and most troublesome relation in the world is

that between husband and wife, the most saddening and most disappointing

relation is that between husband and wife, and the most yearned and most

despairing relation in the world is also that between husband and wife. To

maintain this relationship, one should be neither too soft nor too tough,

neither too close nor too estranged, neither too powerful nor too weak, and

neither too indifferent nor too intimate. This relation may look as illusive as

thin strands of silk, as hot as fire, and as cold as ice. It is almost impossible

to straighten out what is entwined in the relation, and very difficult to

explain it in a clear and logical manner.

The relation between husband and wife begins with a comedy but ends

in tragedy. Don't be fooled by the report of many couples that have

developed love in childhood and sustained it all through their lives. This is

Seek Truth from Facts, and Tell Truth ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

only an appearance put up under the control and check of various factors.

The marriage and the relation between husband and wife is in essence a

tragedy.

The source of the tragedy is not the lack of money or poverty, is not

wealth and rank, is not parents or children, and is not the involvement of a

third party or the differences in characters and interests. The source of the

problem lies in the fact that both husband and wife intends to change the

other party according to their own values and wills.

The wife always want to change the husband according to her own

values and wills, while the husband always want to impose his own values

on the wife. What is the result? Neither the husband not the wife can

change each other, and the so-called change is only temporary compromise

and suppression in consideration of various factors.

The desire to change others is the beginning of tragedy.

Let's ask people who have been husbands and wives or are now

husbands and wives if they have changes the other party. The more you

want to change the other party, the worse the relations between husband

and wife will be. Don't you think so?

Why is the desire to change others the beginning of tragedy?

"It is more difficult to change man's natural disposition than to change

rivers and mountains". It is a painful thing to change one's natural

Xuefeng Corpus - Soul ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

disposition, not only for the person that asks others to change but also for

the person asked to make the change. It is extremely arduous, painful and

also perverse to nature to change rats into cats, cats into dogs, dogs into

men, and man into another self.

In addition, because of each individual's predestined relations and

evolutions in previous life and transmigration, people each have their own

peculiar track of life and LIFE, which is a plot of screenplay that has

already been written and their own life. That we want to change others is

actually paramount to changing the track of other people's life and LIFE

and going against Tao. The result is just imaginable. All the effort can only

prove to be futile and will lead to tragedy.

If husband and wife who are mutually related in interests and deeply

in love with each other cannot change each other, then it would be more

difficult for people in other interpersonal relations to change reach other.

The parents' attempt to change their children and vice versa, the friends',

neighbour ' and relatives' attempt to change each other--all these will end in

tragedy.

Jesus Christ, Buddha Sakyamuni, and celestial Lao Tze have left us

with many teachings, but they had never attempted to change any body,

they were simply reasoning with us and offering guidance to us. Only

devils and their offspring desire to force their will upon others.

Seek Truth from Facts, and Tell Truth ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

Men should never attempt to do anything to change others or do

anything that may be a strain on energy and does not produce good results.

Man should not do anything impossible, should not cause tragedy to

himself or other people, especially between husband and wife, between

parents and children, and between friends and lovers, between masters and

disciples, and between teachers and students. The best approach is: I

respect your will, your choice, your hobbies and interests, and your

character. If we are compatible with each other, we can get along with each

other happily and joyfully, if not we just go our different ways. If we vary

too greatly in views, we can break up in good manners and follow our

respective ways.

Do not attempt to change any other creatures and LIVES (including

man, of course) except yourself.

The more intimate the relations between men are, the more important

it is for them to respect each other's will and character. Be sure not to try to

change the other party with your own values and outlook on life. Do not

attempt to impose your own will into the other party, otherwise, you may

become estranged and part company, each going your different ways,

no matter how close you have been to reach other.

How can we prove that we ourselves are right?

There is no way to prove. "What seems to be a misfortune may be a

Xuefeng Corpus - Soul ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯

blessing in disguise". Even if someone has suffered a misfortune, how we

can know the meaning and value implied in such “misfortune", how can we

know that such "misfortune" may actually turn out to be a blessing?

The conclusion: Do not try to change or transform the other, and just

change yourself if you cannot endure. In this way, you will not create

tragedy, and in this way, you may enjoy more intimate relations, in this way,

you will have broader space to utilize your talents, in this way, you will

have the mien of a celestial being.

2011/3/5

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The Kingdom of the Greatest Creator（God）：

Home without Family and Marriage

Follow the guide of the Greatest Creator will be beneficial to humanity,

Blessed by God and Buddha, ideal will come true.

Come on, my dear friend!

We are destined to be hand in hand in this lifetime

Lifechanyuan, follows the Tao of the Greatest Creator, safeguard life,

cultivate saints.

The Invitation from Lifechanyuan