divorce (talaq) and why is hilla (wrong fatwa)

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7/31/2019 Divorce (Talaq) and Why is Hilla (Wrong Fatwa) http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/divorce-talaq-and-why-is-hilla-wrong-fatwa 1/68 Divorce (Talaq) or Hilla (wrong fatwa) WHY NOT A WOMEN CAN GIVE DIVORCE? (Q). Is it only the husband… this is from Jennifer - It says... - Is it only the husband who can say ‘Triple Talaq’ and get one… and get one? - What has a woman to do, if she wants to get divorce or ‘ Talaq’? Answer: The sister has asked a question, that a husband can divorce a woman - She has not asked about Triple ‘Talaq’, that is another answer. But the main question is - A husband can divorce… Can a woman also divorce, or can she give ‘ Talaq’? A woman cannot give ‘Talaq’ - because ‘Talaq’ is a Arabic word used for divorce, when a man gives to a woman - husband gives to a wife - but a woman can divorce. THERE ARE 5 TYPES OF DIVORCE, IN ISLAM – The first type is by unilateral… by unilateral agreement , between the husband and wife - Both may say… ‘Okay, we are not compatible… let us  part’. The second type, is by the unilateral will of the husband, that is called a Talaq, in which, he has to forgo his ‘Meher’ . If he has not paid it, he has to  pay it to her… and including the gifts, he has given to her (and have to fulfill all obligation mentioned in Surah Baqaraa 2:228-241 and Surah Talaq chapter 65, and other obligation mentioned in Surah Nisa chapter 4). Third type, is by the unilateral will of the wife - I repeat, by the unilateral will of the wife… if she mentions it in her marriage contract. If she mentions it in her  Nikah-Nama … in her marriage contract, that she has the right to give unilateral divorce, she can give it - It is call as ‘  Isma. I have never heard of anyone speaking of an ‘  Isma ’ - It is called as ‘  Isma’ - Even a woman can give divorce,  Isma. Forth category is, if the husband ill-treats her, or not give her equal rights, she has the right to go to a  Kazi, and nullify the marriage - It is called as ‘Nikah-e-Fask ’. In this, according to the Kazi , he may ask the husband to give the full ‘Meher’, or part of the ‘Meher’ , depending upon the Kazi . And the last is ‘Kulah’ - that even though the husband may be a very good husband, the wife has got no complaints against the husband, but for  personal reasons, she does not like the husband - she has, she can request the husband, to divorce her - and that is called as ‘Kulah’. But very few people talk about women giving divorce, to the men. Some of the Ulemas have

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Divorce (Talaq) or Hilla (wrong fatwa)

WHY NOT A WOMEN CAN GIVE DIVORCE?

(Q). Is it only the husband… this is from Jennifer - It says... - Is it only thehusband who can say ‘Triple Talaq’ and get one… and get one? - What has awoman to do, if she wants to get divorce or ‘Talaq’?

Answer:The sister has asked a question, that a husband can divorce a woman - She has notasked about Triple ‘Talaq’, that is another answer. But the main question is - Ahusband can divorce… Can a woman also divorce, or can she give ‘Talaq’? Awoman cannot give ‘Talaq’ - because ‘Talaq’ is a Arabic word used for divorce,

when a man gives to a woman - husband gives to a wife - but a woman can divorce.

THERE ARE 5 TYPES OF DIVORCE, IN ISLAM –

The first type is by unilateral… by unilateral agreement, between thehusband and wife - Both may say… ‘Okay, we are not compatible… let us

 part’. The second type, is by the unilateral will of the husband, that is called a

‘Talaq’, in which, he has to forgo his ‘Meher’ . If he has not paid it, he has to pay it to her… and including the gifts, he has given to her (and have to fulfillall obligation mentioned in Surah Baqaraa 2:228-241 and Surah Talaqchapter 65, and other obligation mentioned in Surah Nisa chapter 4).

Third type, is by the unilateral will of the wife - I repeat, by the unilateralwill of the wife… if she mentions it in her marriage contract. If she mentionsit in her  Nikah-Nama… in her marriage contract, that she has the right to giveunilateral divorce, she can give it - It is call as ‘ Isma’. I have never heard of anyone speaking of an ‘ Isma’ - It is called as ‘ Isma’ - Even a woman cangive divorce, ‘ Isma’.

Forth category is, if the husband ill-treats her, or not give her equal rights,she has the right to go to a  Kazi, and nullify the marriage - It is called as

‘Nikah-e-Fask ’. In this, according to the Kazi, he may ask the husband togive the full ‘Meher’, or part of the ‘Meher’ , depending upon the Kazi. And the last is ‘Kulah’ - that even though the husband may be a very good

husband, the wife has got no complaints against the husband, but for  personal reasons, she does not like the husband - she has, she can request thehusband, to divorce her - and that is called as ‘Kulah’. But very few peopletalk about women giving divorce, to the men. Some of the Ulemas have

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categorized these 5 types of divorce, into 2 or 3 different categories, but broadly there are 5 types of divorce, in Islam. Hope that answers thequestion.

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WOMEN CAN GIVE DIVORCE

Question: Does Islam permit women to give divorce? What are the different types

of divorce in Islam?

Answer:‘Talaq’ is an arabic word used for ‘divorce’ when given by a husband to his wife. Awoman can very well divorce the husband in Islam, but this is not called ‘talaq’ .

ACCORDING TO SUNAN ABU DAWOOD, HADITH NO. 2172AND 2173:-

which is also mentioned in

SUNAN IBN-I-MAJAH, HADITH NO. 2018:-‘the Prophet (pbuh) said that among the permissible things, the most hateful in the

sight of Allah, is divorce’. However the following conditions need to be fulfilled.a. The person should not be in a state of intoxication while giving

divorce. b. The person should be in a sound state of mind and not mentally

unstable.c. Before deciding on giving a divorce there should be a mutual talk 

regarding the situation between the husband and the wife.d. According to Surah Nisa, chapter 4 verse 35, if the talks fail, two

arbiters should be appointed, one from the husband’s family and theother from the wife’s family. In short, have a family meeting to avoiddivorce.

SURAH NISA, CHAPTER 4 VERSE 35:-

   

   

   

   

             

35. If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two)arbiters, one from His family, and the other from hers; if They wishfor Peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: for Allah hath fullknowledge, and is acquainted with all things.

e. Only if all these measures fails, can a person go ahead to give divorce.

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f. According to Surah Al-Talaq, chapter 65 verse 2, while pronouncing Talaq, two persons endued with justice should be takenas witnesses.

SURAH AL-TALAQ, CHAPTER 65 VERSE 2:-

   

   

 

   

   

         

     

     

 

  

2. Thus when They fulfil their term appointed, either take themback on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms;and take for witness two persons from among you, endued with justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. such is theadmonition given to Him who believes In Allah and the Last Day.and for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out,

THERE ARE FIVE DIFFERENT TYPES OF DIVORCE IN ISLAM:-

1. With the mutual consent of both the husband and the wife.

Here both may agree that they are not compatible with eachother.

2. With the unilateral will of the husband . Here, the husband hasto forego the ‘meher’ , that is, the dower he has given to thewife. In case any amount of meher has remained unpaid, heshould give it to the wife.

3. With the unilateral will of the wife. This is only permissible if she specifies it in her marital contract that she too will have theright of unilateral divorce. This is called as  Ismah or talaq-e-

taufid.4.  If the husband ill-treats or neglects his wife or does notmaintain her properly, she has a right to go to a judge andnullify the marriage. This is called as Nikah-e-fask . Here, the

 judge decides whether the husband has to give the completeamount of meher or part of it to the wife.

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Statistics• 50 % marriage in US end up with dovorce• Rate of marriage rate decrease• Family research organization and the promotion

Swedish study shows• Divorces kids passes rude mental health• Psyphicician suggested parents and youths• 20,000 marriages end every year • 48,000 children faces divorce parents in 2007• 45 % - 60 % marriages ends with dovorce

Imam in US• Increase among• Muslims also divorces

Causes of dovorces• Extra marital relations• Aftonbloadet says

o Average Swedish have 29 sexual partnerso Teen Swedish sex with 1 day old friendso

• Book byo Stanley Kurtz ‘The end of marriage in Scandanevia’

• US today : Swedish marries little

ISLAMIC SOLUTIONS• It recognize as a last solution• Kulah for women and not direct divorce• Understand and sacrifies• 30:21• Abu Dawud 2172-2173• Among permitted things dovoce is the most hateful in the side of Allah• Tirmidih 278 ‘the perfect believers are those who are good with the wives’•

Divorce Statistics in AmericaCurrent divorce statistics in America is estimated at 50%. This data is not accurately correct,however, it is reasonably close to actual. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that"Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trendscontinue.", which is actually a projection. Commanly said, 50% of all marriages in the America endin divorce. But this statement about the divorce statistics in America hides all the details aboutdistribution, however. You also checkout this divorce statistics page for latest information.

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http://www.divorcestatistics.org/

• There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005 -- down from 2,279,000 the previous year, despite atotal population increase of 2.9 million over the same period. 

• The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. (The peak was at 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press.) 

•The marriage rate in 2005 (per 1,000) was 7.5, down from 7.8 the previous year. 

• In 2004, the state with the highest reported divorce rate was Nevada, at 6.4 (per 1,000). Arkansas was aclose second, with a divorce rate of 6.3, followed by Wyoming at 5.3. The District of Columbia had thelowest reported divorce rate, at 1.7, followed by Massachusetts at 2.2 and Pennsylvania at 2.5. (Figureswere not complete for California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, or Oklahoma.) 

• 8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners, according to The State of Our 

Unions 2005 , a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The same study saidthat only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents -- the lowest figure in theWestern world. 

•  As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84%of the payers were male). 

http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml

Marriage and Divorce

(Data are for the U.S.)

 

• Number of marriages: 2,077,000

• Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population

Divorce rate: 3.4 per 1,000 population (44 reporting States and D.C.)

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nscl.asp?id=7475

Swedish woman killed in Florida murder-suicide

 National: 23 Oct 10A Swedish woman killed by her husband in Florida in a murder-suicide on October 15th had toldauthorities one month earlier that his swinging lifestyle had led to physical and mental abuse.READ »

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Victoria to keep her wealth after divorce

Society: 5 Jul 10Prince Daniel may have gotten the princess and the castle, but he would not receive a princelysettlement if he and Crown Princess Victoria divorced, a premarital agreement submitted to Solna

District Court has revealed. READ »

Tiger and Elin to divorce in Sweden: reports

 National: 14 May 10Britain's Telegraph reported on Wednesday that Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren will file for divorce in Sweden in an attempt to keep the details of what would be one of the world's largestsettlements under wraps. READ »

Divorce kids in rude mental health: study 

Society: 29 Apr 10A new Swedish study has found no significant differences in the adult mental health of the childrenof divorced parents and those from unbroken homes. READ »

Divorce kids in rude mental health: studyPublished: 29 Apr 10 09:29 CET | Double click on a word to get a translation Online: http://www.thelocal.se/26360/20100429/

A new Swedish study has found no significant differences in the adult mental health of thechildren of divorced parents and those from unbroken homes.

• General knowledge tops for Swedish status: study (18 Dec 10)• Newlywed Swedish man kidnapped in Pakistan (11 Dec 10)• Man admits to daughter's 'honour killing' murder (17 Nov 10)

The doctoral thesis, entitled "Grown-up children of divorce: Experiences and health" by Teresia

Ängarne-Lindberg at Linköping University, examines the mental health in a group of young adults(aged 22-33-years-old) whose parents had divorced 15-20 years previously, during the same year inthe 1980s.

"Although the results show evidence of good mental health among children 15-20 years after thedivorce, it is important to note that no child wants their parents to divorce. But if parents do nothave a positive relationship then, according to many of those interviewed, divorce might be the bestsolution," said Theresa Ängarne-Lindberg.

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Despite that fact that these children have gone through the often traumatic experience of a divorceand experienced more childhood turbulence than their peers, the study finds no significantdifference between the general mental health of the two groups when they reach their twenties.

The only group of children of divorced parents that fared worse than the group whoseparents were still living together were women aged 22-27.

The study is based on interviews and questionnaires and asked participants to detail their experiences of the divorce, mental health, life experiences outside of the divorce as well as personalresources, defined as sense of coherence (SOC).

The data has been complemented with psychiatric journals and health registers and compared to acontrol group of adult children of parents who remained together.

"The examination of psychiatric records showed no significant differences between the number of  persons in need of adult psychiatric care in the divorce and the non-divorce group," Ängarne-Lindberg writes in her study.

The researcher forwards the theory that the higher incidence of contact between children of divorced parents and psychiatric services in the immediate aftermath of a divorce could be aninfluential factor on the apparent lack of consequences for their mental health later in life.

Other factors used to explain the situation are the children's relatively strong personal resources(SOC) and their parents' handling of their divorce.

Theresia Ängarne-Lindberg writes in her studythat 20,000 marriages end in Sweden each year.Taking common law marriage relationships intoaccount, some 48,000 children experienced adivorce or separation in 2007.

Divorce in Swedish society is a generally accepted phenomenon and there is no requirement for either party to establish fault or just cause for a legal separation. Couples living together enjoy most

of the same rights as formally married couples.According to the latest UN statistics (for 2006) around 45 percent of Swedish marriages endin divorce, placing Sweden near the head of world rankings, whereas the divorce rate asmeasured by the number of divorces per 1,000 of the population is only 2.2, modest byinternational standards.

External links:

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• UN statistics - Divorces and divorce rates »• UN statistics - Marriages and marriage rates »

Peter Vinthagen [email protected]

+46 8 656 6518

http://www.thelocal.se/26360/20100429/

How Aussie dad beat Swedish police to find kidnapped sons

Analysis & Opinion: 28 Oct 09When Australian George Pesor's children were abducted by their mother on a visit to Sweden,

 police searched for six months without success. But when Pesor took matters into his own hands,he solved the case in just a week. READ »

Child benefit "discriminates against fathers"

Society: 20 Jan 05In another step towards Sweden becoming the superpower of gender equality, the Minister for Social Affairs says fathers who hold the baby should hold the child benefit book too. READ »

Summer sees divorce rates soar

Published: 10 Sep 07 16:54 CET | Double click on a word to get a translation Online: http://www.thelocal.se/8448/20070910/Share

After a summer in which storm clouds were never far from the horizon, Stockholm'scourthouses have been forced to contend with a deluge of divorce applications.

Almost 1,400 couples in the capital city opted to terminate their marriages between July 1st andSeptember 7th, Aftonbladet reports. This represented an increase of 15 percent compared to thesame period last year.

For many couples the summer holidays provide an opportunity for reflection and a realization that

their relationship just isn't working anymore.

"Some people have already made the decision in advance but decide to wait until they are free andhave time to sort out the practicalities," family counsellor Sverker Wadstein told Aftonbladet.

Couples with young children are most likely to find themselves in the danger zone.

"The first children often put a strain on matters. Trying to Combine the roles of parent and romantic

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 partner can test the limits of a relationship," said Wadstein.

While city dwellers remain more likely than their country cousins to cut the ties that bind, that gapis closing.

"It's more socially accepted in cities, whereas it's a big deal in the countryside. But that aspect isslowly beginning to disappear," said Wadsteinhttp://www.thelocal.se/8448/20070910/

Muslim Council: no support for 'special laws'Published: 29 Apr 06 12:33 CET | Double click on a word to get a translation Online: http://www.thelocal.se/3688/20060429/Share

The Muslim Council of Sweden has added its voice to the criticism of the suggestion thatthe country should have separate laws for Muslims.

• Sweden 'lacks tools' to fight extremism: Åkesson (26 Jan 11)• Gothenburg man arrested for Oslo Islamist attack (15 Jan 11)• Sweden looks to combat Islamophobia (13 Jan 11)

The idea was expressed in an open letter to the Swedish political parties by Mahmoud Aldebe, thechairman of the Swedish Muslim Association.

Aldebe suggested allowing imams into state (public) schools to give Muslim children separatelessons in Islam and their parents' native languages. The letter also said that boys and girls should

have separate swimming lessons and that divorces between Muslims should be approved by animam.

It provoked an swift and fierce response across the political spectrum and was described as'completely unacceptable' by Minister for Integration and Equality Jens Orback.

 Now other Muslim organisations, including the umbrella organisation, the Muslim Council of Sweden, have distanced themselves from the letter.

"This has absolutely no support in any of our organisations," said Mehmet Kaplan, the council'sspokesman, to Svenska Dagbladet.

"It's a non-issue for us. I have also spoken to the vice-chairman of the Swedish Muslim Associationand he didn't know anything about it either."

At a crisis meeting on Friday, other Muslim organisations confirmed that they did not support thecontroversial proposals.

"This is sad. There are other important issues which are now being obscured," said Kaplan.

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Speaking to Swedish Radio on Friday, Mahmoud Aldebe said that the furore following his letter was the result of a misunderstanding.

"I'm not demanding parallel laws, I'm not demanding special legislation for Muslims. I just want to

adapt our laws so that the Muslim minority feels safe in society," Aldebe told SR.http://www.thelocal.se/3688/20060429/

'Separate laws for Muslims' idea slammedPublished: 28 Apr 06 10:08 CET | Double click on a word to get a translation Online: http://www.thelocal.se/3674/20060428/Share

Muslim Council: no support for 'special laws'

• Swedish school criticised for prayer service (25 Nov 10)• Christianity prioritised in Swedish schools (10 Oct 10)• Sweden tries to rein in religion at free schools (6 Oct 10)

Sweden's largest Muslim organisation has demanded that the country introduce separate laws for Muslims, according to Swedish television. Sweden's equality minister Jens Orback called the proposals "completely unacceptable".

The Swedish Muslim Association, which represents around 70,000 Muslims in Sweden, has sent aletter to all Sweden's main political parties suggesting a number of reforms, SVT's Rapport

 programme reported.http://www.thelocal.se/3674/20060428/

Why is the divorce rate so high in Sweden?Published: 30 Dec 04 10:41 CET | Double click on a word to get a translation Online: http://www.thelocal.se/779/20041230/Share

I am getting married to a Swedish woman next summer. But I have recently read that thedivorce rate in Sweden is among the highest in the world, with over 60% of marriages failing.Why is this?

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Divorce rate in the world

REFERENCES:

 The End of Marriage in Scandinavia, The End of Marriage inScandinaviaThe "conservative case" for same-sex marriage collapses. byStanley Kurtz02/02/2004, Volume 009, Issue 20,http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/003/660zypwj.asp

 The New York Times > Health > Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think, By DAN HURLEY Published: April 19, 2005http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html

USATODAY.com - Sweden's 'marriage lite' gets closer examinationBy Sharon Jayson, USA TODAYhttp://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-07-17-marriage-lite_x.htm

 The Effects of Divorce on Americaby Patrick F. Fagan and Robert E. RectorBackgrounder #1373http://www.heritage.org/research/family/bg1373.cfm

Marriage and DivorceContent source: CDC/National Center for Health StatisticsPage maintained by: Office of Information ServicesCenters for Disease Control and Prevention

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The Child AdvocateDivorce Effects on ChildrenAn Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce onChildren and AdolescentsSara Eleoff The Pennsylvania State University College of MedicineNovember 2003http://www.childadvocate.net/divorce_effects_on_children.htm

Divorce StatisticsDivorce in America: By the numbers

More Divorce Statistics:Cyberporn and DivorceWomen, Money and DivorceSex And Health StatisticsWhy People Get DivorcedMedia Contact:Working media should contact Lynne Diamond at 949-622-1750for more information.http://www.divorcewizards.com/Divorce-Statistics.html

Parental divorce and gender equality in Sweden, report

The Effects of Divorce on Children, Original fact sheet developed by Mary W. Temke, Extension Human Development Specialist,with help from UNH graduate student Rebecca CarmanUpdated 5/06 by Emily Douglas, Extension Family Education &Policy Specialist Visit our website: ceinfo.unh.eduUNH Cooperative Extension programs and policies are consistent with pertinent Federal and State laws and regulations on

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nondiscrimination regarding age, color, handicap, national origin,race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, or veterans status.

Electronic Collection of Marriage and Divorce Statistics:Findings from Seven StatesFinal Report Prepared for:U.S. Department of Health and Human ServicesAdministration for Children and Families & Office of theAssistant Secretary for Planning and EvaluationSubmitted by:The Lewin Group, Inc. August 2008 The views expressed by

the authors do not necessarily reflect the official policies of theDepartment of Health and Human Services nor does mention of trade names, commercial practices, or organizations implyendorsement by the U.S. government.

Emotional Effects of Divorce on Childrenhttp://www.dealwithdivorce.com/effects-divorce/emotional-effects-divorce-children/30/

Marriage and Divorce Statistics

http://marriage.ygoy.com/marriage-and-divorce-statistics/

Divorce Rates Around the WorldPosted by DWordDivaApril 8, 2007Check out the percentages of marriages that end up in divorcefrom countries around the world(courtesy of Wikipedia).http://www.darndivorce.com/divorce-rates-around-the-world/

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Divorce Rate : Divorce Rate In America, http://www.divorcerate.org/

Division for Vital Records & Health Statisticshttp://www.mdch.state.mi.us/pha/osr/index.asp?Id=5

MARRIAGE

&DIVORCESTATISTICS

, report

Marriage and Divorce Statistics - National Healthy Marriage

Resource Centerhttp://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/facts/marriagedivstats.cfm

Nebraska Vital Statistics Report 2007MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE HIGHLIGHTS

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Divorce Statistics | Reference.comhttp://ask.reference.com/related/Divorce+Statistics?o=15096&l=dir

Society The latest marriage statistics: implicationsZenit News Agencyhttp://www.ad2000.com.au/articles/2005/oct2005p8_2076.html

Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 1996Issued February 2002

CurrentPopulationReportsBy Rose M. Kreider and Jason M. FieldsU.S. Department of CommerceEconomics and Statistics AdministrationU.S. CENSUS BUREAU

Scandinavia - Divorcehttp://family.jrank.org/pages/1453/Scandinavia-Divorce.html

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Divorce Statistics CollectionPart of the Divorce Reform Page, sponsored by Americansfor Divorce ReformPolls | Legislation | Articles/Opinion | Quotations | Other family-related articleshttp://www.divorcereform.org/stats.htm

Divorce Statistics, Marriage Statistics: Divorce Rates in America,MarriageU.S. Divorce Statistics

http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml

THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE by Amy Desai, J.D.http://www.troubledwith.com/Relationships/A000000830.cfm?topic=relationships%3A%...

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Divorce:

2:227-233

 

 

 

     

 

           

       

     

     

     

 

 

 

   

   

    

    

     

       

     

     

           

     

   

       

     

     

    

     

           

       

       

     

   

   

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   227. but if their intention is firm for divorce, Allah heareth andknoweth all things.228. Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves forthree monthly periods. nor is it lawful for them to hide whatAllah hath created In their wombs, if They have Faith In Allahand the Last Day. and their husbands have the better right totake them back   In that period, if They wish for reconciliation.and women shall have rights similar to the rights againstthem, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree(of advantage) over them. and Allah is Exalted In power, wise.

229. a divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the partiesshould either hold together on equitable terms, or separatewith kindness. it is not lawful for you, (Men), to take back anyof your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fearthat They would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.if ye (judges) do indeed fear that They would be unable to keepthe limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them

if she give something for Her freedom. these are the limitsordained by Allah. so do not transgress them if any dotransgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong(Themselves As well As others).

230. so if  a husband divorces His wife (irrevocably), Hecannot, after that, re-marry Her until after she has marriedanother husband and He has Divorced her. In that case thereis no blame on either of them if They re-unite, provided They

feel that They can keep the limits  ordained by Allah. suchare the limits ordained by Allah, which He makes plain to thosewho understand.

231. when ye divorce women, and They fulfil the term of their('Iddat), either take them back on equitable terms or set themfree on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure

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them, (or) to take undue advantage; if any one does that; Hewrongs His own soul. do not treat Allah.s Signs As a jest, butsolemnly rehearse Allah.s favours on you, and the fact that Hesent down to you the Book and Wisdom, for your instruction. andfear Allah, and know that Allah is well acquainted with all things.

232. when ye divorce women, and They fulfil the term of their('Iddat), do not prevent them from marrying their (former)husbands, if They mutually agree on equitable terms. Thisinstruction is for all amongst you, who believe In Allah andthe Last Day. that is (the course Making for) Most virtue and purityamongst you and Allah knows, and ye know not.

233. the mothers shall give suck  to their offspring for two

whole years, if the father desires to complete the term. but Heshall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitableterms. no soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than itcan bear. no mother shall be Treated unfairly on account of Her child. nor father on account of His child, an heir shall bechargeable In the same way. if They both decide on weaning, bymutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blameon them. if ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring, thereis no blame on you, provided ye pay (the mother) what ye offered,

on equitable terms. but fear Allah and know that Allah sees wellwhat ye do.

2:236-237    

     

           

 

 

   

       

    

   

     

       

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236. there is no blame on you if ye divorce women beforeconsummation or the fixation of their dower; but bestow onthem (A suitable gift), the wealthy according to His means, andthe poor according to His means;- a gift of a reasonable amount isdue from those who wish to do the right thing.237. and if ye divorce them before consummation, but afterthe fixation of a dower for them, then the half of the dower(Is due to them), unless They remit it or (the man's half) isremitted by Him In whose hands is the marriage tie; and theremission (of the man's half) is the nearest to righteousness. anddo not forget Liberality between yourselves. for Allah sees well allthat ye do.

2:241 

     

  241. for Divorced women maintenance (Should be provided)on a reasonable (scale). This is a duty on the Righteous.

2:242:-

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4:34-35:-

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33:4       

       

 

 

 

     

   

 

     

     

 4. Allah has not made for any man two hearts In His (one) body:

nor has He made your wives whom ye divorce by Zihar yourmothers: nor has He made your adopted sons your sons. such is(only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. but Allah tells(you) the truth, and He shows the (right) way.

33:37     

   

   

     

   

     

   

     

     

   

       

 

 

 

 37. Behold! Thou Didst say to one who had received the Grace of Allah and Thy favour: "Retain Thou (in wedlock) Thy wife, and fearAllah." but Thou Didst hide In Thy heart that which Allah wasabout to make manifest: Thou Didst fear the people, but it is morefitting that Thou shouldst fear Allah. then when Zaid had dissolved(his marriage) with her, with the necessary (formality), we joined

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Her In marriage to thee: In order that (in future) there may be nodifficulty to the believers In (the matter of) marriage with thewives of their adopted sons, when the latter have dissolved withthe necessary (formality) (Their marriage) with them. and Allah.scommand must be fulfilled.

33:49   

   

       

   

     

 

   49. O ye who believe! when ye marry believing women, andthen divorce them before ye have touched them, no periodof 'Iddat have ye to count In respect of them: so give them apresent. and set them free In a handsome manner.

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58:2-4     

   

 

 

 

 

   

   

       

     

   

   

    

     

               

 

     

       

     

   

    

     

 2. if any men among you divorce their wives by Zihar (callingthem mothers), They cannot be their mothers: none can be theirmothers except those who gave them birth. and In fact They usewords (Both) iniquitous and false: but truly Allah is one that blotsout (sins), and forgives (again and again).3. but those who divorce their wives by Zihar, then wish to goback on the words They uttered,- (it is ordained that such a one)should free a slave before They touch Each other: Thus are yeadmonished to perform: and Allah is well-acquainted with (all) thatye do.4. and if any has not (the wherewithal), He should fast for twomonths consecutively before They touch Each other. but if any isunable to do so, He should feed sixty indigent ones, this, thatye may Show your Faith In Allah and His Messenger. those are

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65:1-7   

 

 

   

       

   

     

     

     

         

       

       

   

 

   

   

         

     

     

               

     

       

     

     

     

   

   

         

       

       

     

    

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  1. O Prophet! when ye do divorce women, divorce them at theirprescribed periods, and count (accurately), their prescribedperiods: and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them not out of their

houses, nor shall They (themselves) leave, except In case Theyare guilty of some open lewdness, those are limits set byAllah. and any who transgresses the limits of Allah, does Verilywrong His (own) soul: Thou Knowest not if Perchance Allah willbring about thereafter some new situation.2. Thus when They fulfil their term appointed, either take themback on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms;and take for witness two persons from among you, enduedwith justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah.such is the admonition given to Him who believes In Allah and theLast Day. and for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a wayout,3. and He Provides for Him from (sources) He never couldimagine. and if any one puts His trust In Allah, sufficient is((Allah)) for Him. for Allah will surely accomplish His purpose:Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion.

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4. such of your women As have passed  the age of   monthlycourses, for them the prescribed period, if ye have any doubts,is three Months, and for those who have no courses (it is thesame): for those who carry (life within their wombs), theirperiod is until They deliver their burdens: and for those whofear Allah, He will make their path easy.5. that is the command of Allah, which He has sent down to you:and if any one fears Allah, He will remove His ills, from him, andwill enlarge His reward.6. let the women live (in 'iddat) In the same style As yelive, according to your means: annoy them not, so As to restrictthem. and if They carry (life In their wombs), then spend(your substance) on them until They deliver their burden:and if They suckle your (offspring), give them their

recompense: and take mutual counsel together, accordingto what is just and reasonable. and if ye find yourselves Indifficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the(father's) behalf.7. let the man of means spend according to His means: andthe man whose resources are restricted, let Him spend accordingto what Allah has given Him. Allah puts no burden on anyperson beyond what He has given Him. after a difficulty,Allah will soon grant relief.

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66:5       

   

 

 

   

 

  5. it may be, if He Divorced you (all), that Allah will give Him Inexchange Consorts better than you,- who submit (Their wills), whobelieve, who are devout, who turn to Allah In repentance, whoworship (in humility), who travel (for Faith) and fast,- previouslymarried or virgins.

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Widow2:234   

 

 

     

     

     

           

 234. if any of you die and leave widows behind, They shall

wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: when They have fulfilled their term, there is no blame on you if Theydispose of themselves In a just and reasonable manner. andAllah is well acquainted with what ye do.

2:240   

   

   

    

    

       

       

 240. those of you who die and leave widows  shouldbequeath for their widows a year's maintenance andresidence; but if They leave (the residence), there is noblame on you for what They do with themselves, provided it is

reasonable. and Allah is Exalted In power, wise.

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33:53   

   

 

 

 

 

   

   

   

     

     

     

    

     

       

       

         

   

       

     53. O ye who believe! enter not the Prophet's houses,- until leaveis given you,- for a meal, (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its

preparation: but when ye are invited, enter; and when ye havetaken your meal, disperse, without seeking familiar talk. such(behaviour) annoys the prophet: He is ashamed to dismiss you,but Allah is not ashamed (to Tell you) the Truth. and when ye ask(his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen:that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs. nor isit right for you that ye should annoy Allah.s Messenger, orthat ye should marry His widows after Him at any time. trulysuch a thing is In Allah.s sight an enormity.

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Women2:222-223           

 

 

 

 

     

   

         

   

 

   

   

   

           

  222. They ask Thee concerning women's courses. say: Theyare a hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women In theircourses, and do not approach them until They are clean. butwhen They have purified themselves, ye may approach themIn any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. forAllah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He lovesthose who keep themselves pure and clean.223. your wives are As a tilth unto you; so approach yourtilth when or How ye will; but do some good act for yoursouls beforehand; and fear Allah. and know that ye are to meetHim (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those whobelieve.

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3:14     

   

 

     

   

   

       

  14. fair In the eyes of men is the love of things They covet:women and sons; Heaped-up hoards of gold and silver; horsesbranded (for blood and excellence); and (wealth of) cattle and

well-tilled land. such are the possessions of This world's life; but Innearness to Allah is the best of the goals (to return to).

3:195   

       

         

    

   

   

 

 

 

     

     

       

  

195. and their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them:"Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be He male orfemale: ye are members, one of another: those who have left theirhomes, or been driven out therefrom, or suffered harm In MyCause, or fought or been slain,- Verily, I will Blot out from themtheir iniquities, and admit them into Gardens with rivers flowing

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beneath;- a reward from the presence of Allah, and from Hispresence is the best of rewards."

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4:15   

 

 

         

   

    

  15. if any of your women are guilty of lewdness, take theevidence of four (Reliable) witnesses from amongst youagainst them; and if They testify, confine them to houses untildeath do claim them, or Allah ordain for them some (other) way.

4:19-25   

     

     

 

   

   

 

 

   

   

   

       

   

   

   

     

 

     

   

   

     

     

   

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19. O ye who believe! ye are forbidden to inherit womenagainst their will. nor should ye treat them with harshness,that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where They have been guilty of open lewdness; on thecontrary live with them on a footing of kindness andequity. if ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislikea thing, and Allah brings about through it a great Deal of good.

20. but if ye decide to take one wife In place of another,Even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, takenot the least bit of it back: would ye take it by slander andManifest wrong?

21. and How could ye take it when ye have gone In unto Eachother, and They have taken from you a solemn covenant?

22. and marry not women whom your fathers married,-except what is past: it was shameful and odious,- an abominable

custom indeed.

23. prohibited to you (for marriage) are:- your mothers,daughters,  sisters; father's sisters, Mother's sisters;brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers(Who gave you suck), foster-sisters; your wives' mothers;your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your

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wives to whom ye have gone in,- no prohibition if ye have notgone in;- (Those who have been) wives of your sonsproceeding from your loins; and two sisters In wedlock atone and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful;-

24. also (prohibited are) women already married, except thosewhom your right hands possess: Thus hath Allah ordained(Prohibitions) against you: except for these, all others are lawful,provided ye seek (them In marriage) with gifts from yourproperty,- desiring chastity, not lust, seeing that ye derivebenefit from them, give them their dowers (at least) Asprescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree mutually (tovary it), there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing, All-

wise.

25. if any of you have not the means wherewith to wed freebelieving women, They may wed believing girls from amongthose whom your right hands possess: and Allah hath fullknowledge about your Faith. ye are one from another: wed themwith the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers,according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, notlustful, nor taking paramours: when They are taken In wedlock, if 

They fall into shame, their punishment is half that for freewomen. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin;but it is better for you that ye practise self-restraint. and Allah isOft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

4:32       

       

 

 

   

     

       

       

  

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32. and In no wise covet those things In which Allah hathbestowed His gifts more freely on some of you than on others: tomen is allotted what They earn, and to women what Theyearn: but ask Allah of His bounty. for Allah hath full knowledge of all things.

4:34   

     

     

     

 

   

     

 

   

   

   

     

   34. men are the protectors and maintainers of women,because Allah has given the one more (strength) than theother, and because They support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guardIn (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. Asto those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to sharetheir beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if They returnto obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): forAllah is Most High, great (above you all).

4:124     

       

 

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   124. if  any do deeds of righteousness,- be They male orfemale - and have Faith, They will enter heaven, and not

the least injustice will be done to them.

4:127   

     

   

     

       

 

 

 

   

     

       

    127. They ask Thy instruction concerning the women say: Allahdoth instruct you about them: and (remember) what hath beenrehearsed unto you In the Book, concerning the orphans of women to whom ye give not the portions prescribed, and yetwhom ye desire to marry, As also concerning the Children who areweak and oppressed: that ye stand firm for justice toorphans. there is not a good deed which ye do, but Allah is well-acquainted therewith.

4:129   

   

       

   

   

   

    

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129. ye are never able to be fair and just As betweenwomen, Even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from awoman) altogether, so As to leave Her (as it were) hanging (in theair). if  ye come to a friendly understanding, and practiseself- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

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9:71

 

     

     

 

   

   

       

   71. the believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: They enjoin what is just, and forbid what is Evil:

 They observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obeyAllah and His Messenger. on them will Allah pour His mercy: forAllah is Exalted In power, wise.

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24:26 

   

 

       

     

   26. women impure are for men impure, and men impure forwomen impure and women of purity are for men of purity,and men of purity are for women of purity: these are notaffected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness,and a provision honourable.

24:31   

   

   

        

     

   

     

   

     

   

   

   

    

   

 

 

 

   

   

     

   

     

     

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  31. and say to the believing women that They should lower theirgaze and guard their modesty; that They should not display their

beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appearthereof; that They should draw their veils over their bosoms andnot display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers,their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons,their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, ortheir women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, ormale servants free of physical needs, or small Children whohave no sense of the Shame of sex; and that They should notstrike their feet In order to draw attention to their hiddenornaments. and O ye believers! turn ye all together towards

Allah, that ye may attain bliss.

24:60   

     

     

   

     

     

    60. such elderly women As are past the prospect of marriage,- there is no blame on them if  They Lay aside their(outer) garments, provided They make not a wanton display of their beauty: but it is best for them to be modest: and Allah isone who sees and knows all things.

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33:32   

       

   

           

  32. O Consorts of the Prophet! ye are not like any of the (other) women: if ye do fear ((Allah)),be not too complacent of speech, Lest one In whose heart is a disease should be Moved withdesire: but speak ye a speech (That is) just.

33:52       

     

   

     

     

   52. it is not lawful for Thee (to marry more) women after this, norto change them for (other) wives, Even though their beautyattract thee, except any Thy right hand should possess (ashandmaidens): and Allah doth watch over all things.

33:35 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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40:40       

       

       

       

    40. "He that works evil will not be requited but by the like thereof:and He that works a righteous deed - whether man orwoman - and is a Believer- such will enter the Garden (of Bliss): therein will They have abundance without measure.

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47:19       

   

   

   19. know, Therefore, that there is no god but Allah, and ask forgiveness for Thy fault, and for the men and women whobelieve: for Allah knows How ye move about and How ye dwell Inyour homes.

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48:5 

   

 

 

   

     

       

 5. that He may admit the men and women who believe, toGardens beneath which rivers flow, to dwell therein for Aye, andremove their ills from them;- and that is, In the sight of Allah, thehighest achievement (for man),-

48:25   

   

 

           

   

   

   

       

         

   

   

  25. They are the ones who denied Revelation and hindered youfrom the sacred Mosque and the sacrificial animals, detained fromreaching their place of sacrifice. had there not been believing menand believing women whom ye did not know that ye weretrampling down and on whose account a crime would haveaccrued to you without (your) knowledge, ((Allah) would haveallowed you to force your way, but He held back your hands) thatHe may admit to His Mercy whom He will. if They had been apart,

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65:1-2   

 

 

   

       

   

     

     

     

         

       

       

   

 

   

   

         

     

     

   1. O Prophet! when ye do divorce women, divorce them at theirprescribed periods, and count (accurately), their prescribedperiods: and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them not out of theirhouses, nor shall They (themselves) leave, except In case Theyare guilty of some open lewdness, those are limits set by Allah.and any who transgresses the limits of Allah, does Verily wrongHis (own) soul: Thou Knowest not if Perchance Allah will bringabout thereafter some new situation.2. Thus when They fulfil their term appointed, either take themback on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms;and take for witness two persons from among you, endued with justice, and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. such is theadmonition given to Him who believes In Allah and the Last Day.and for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out,

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65:6     

     

     

         

     

     

 

     

    6. let the women live (in 'iddat) In the same style As ye live,according to your means: annoy them not, so As to restrict them.

and if They carry (life In their wombs), then spend (yoursubstance) on them until They deliver their burden: and if Theysuckle your (offspring), give them their recompense: and takemutual counsel together, according to what is just andreasonable. and if ye find yourselves In difficulties, let anotherwoman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf.

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66:5       

 

 

   

   

 

  5. it may be, if He Divorced you (all), that Allah will give Him Inexchange Consorts better than you,- who submit (Their wills), whobelieve, who are devout, who turn to Allah In repentance, whoworship (in humility), who travel (for Faith) and fast,- previouslymarried or virgins.

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71:28     

     

   

    28. "O My Lord! forgive me, My parents, all who enter My House InFaith, and (all) believing men and believing women: and to thewrong-doers grant Thou no increase but In perdition!"

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In pregnancy7:189     

   

 

 

 

     

       

     

   

   

 189. it is He who created you from a single person, and made Hismate of like nature, In order that He might dwell with Her (in

love). when They are united, she bears a light burden and carriesit about (unnoticed). when she grows heavy, They both pray toAllah their Lord, (Saying): "If Thou givest us a goodly child, we vowwe shall (ever) be grateful."

31:14 

   

     

       

   

 14. and we have enjoined on man (to be good) to Hisparents: In travail upon travail did His mother bear him,and In years twain was His weaning: (hear the Command),"Show gratitude to me and to Thy parents: to me is (thyfinal) Goal.

39:6    

     

   

    

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   6. He created you (all) from a single person: then created, of likenature, His mate; and He sent down for you eight head of cattle Inpairs: He makes you, In the wombs of your mothers, Instages, one after another, In three veils of darkness. such isAllah, your Lord and Cherisher: to Him belongs (all) Dominion.there is no god but He: then How are ye turned away (from yourtrue Centre)?

41:47            

     

    

     

   

     47. to Him is referred the knowledge of the Hour (of Judgment: Heknows all): no date-fruit comes out of its sheath, nor does afemale conceive (within Her womb) nor bring forth the Day that((Allah)) will propound to them the (question), "Where are thepartners (ye attributed to me?" They will say, "We do assure Theenot one of us can bear witness!"

46:15

     

   

     

     

     

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  15. we have enjoined on man kindness to His parents: Inpain did His mother bear him, and In pain did she give Himbirth. the carrying of the (child) to His weaning is (Aperiod of) thirty months. at length, when He reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, He says, "O My Lord! grant

me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowedupon me, and upon both My parents, and that I may workrighteousness such As Thou mayest approve; and be gracious tome In My issue. truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (tothee) In Islam."

65:4   

     

 

   

     

         

   4. such of your women As have passed the age of monthlycourses, for them the prescribed period, if ye have any doubts, isthree Months, and for those who have no courses (it is the same):

for those who carry (life within their wombs), their period is until They deliver their burdens: and for those who fear Allah, He willmake their path easy.

65:6

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In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most MercifulMu` meneen Brothers and Sisters, As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi waBarakatuh. (May Allah`s Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you) "No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her 

 place, but she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife), for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her."Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.598 Narrated by Abu Huraira (r.a.) Mu` meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah`s Peace, Mercyand Blessings be upon all of you) One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question: 

Dear Brother Burhan,Assalam AlaikumI got married for the second time with a new Muslim since her parents wereNon-Muslim and I know this new Muslim since 8 years. When I got marriedfor the first time then the new Muslim told to my first wife that she was alsoexpecting to marry me from past 2 to 3 years. I would like to inform that I hadproposed that new Muslim from my side to marry me. I want to support herfully and that`s the reason I got married. But my First wife questions mysecond wife that how can you expect to marry a married person. And also myfirst wife asks/request my second wife to give divorce.When I read the below mail saying that if we help a Muslim to anotherMuslim then the reward from Allah is so and so. Then what will be the rewardfor me to marry second time with a new Muslim and what will be the rewardto my first wife in this case.My questionIs it Haraam to expect any female Muslim to marry a married man?Can my first wife ask my second wife for divorce?How should my first wife react with my second wife?What Quran and Hades tell in this situation for my first & second wife in spite

of fighting both?Please answer my above requested questions so that I can show/explain to myboth wife`s.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. Theforum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements receivedfrom our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

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Aisha said: ‘One day Allah`s Messenger (saws) went out of her (Aisha`sapartment) during the night (to meet one of his other wives) and she ( Aisha ) felt

 jealous. Then he (saws) came and he (saws) saw me (in what agitated state of mind) I was. He (saws) said: ‘O Aisha, what has happened to you? Do you feel

 jealous?’ Thereupon she said: ‘How can it be (that a woman like me) should notfeel jealous in regard to a husband like you?’ Thereupon Allah`s Messenger (saws)said: ‘It was your Shaytaan who had come to you’, and she said: ‘O Allah`sMessenger (saws), is there along with me a Shaytaan?’ He (saws) said: ‘Yes.’ Iasked: ‘Is a Shaytaan attached to everyone?’ He (saws) said: ‘Yes.’ I (Aisha) againsaid: ‘O Allah`s Messenger (saws), is it (a Shaytaan) with you also?’ He (saws)replied: ‘Yes, but my Lord has helped me against him as such I am absolutely safefrom his mischief.’ It is only natural that if a man has more than one wife, the Shaytaan would inspire

them to be jealous of one another…and some jealousy amongst the wives shouldonly be expected.

The multiple wives of a person have absolutely no duties or responsibilitiestowards one another in Shariah, thus at best and if possible they may develop andmaintain cordial relationships with the other wives of their husband; and at worstthey are well within their rights to remain absolutely indifferent towardsthem…..but at all times, all parties should fear Allah Subahanh and strive their absolute utmost to remain within the prescribed Boundaries of their Lord.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance andGuidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and Heis the Only Source of Strength. 

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Long commutes 'bad for marriage': Swedish studyPublished: 24 May 11 16:47 CET | Double click on a word to get a translation Online: http://www.thelocal.se/33966/20110524/Share137 

A long commute to work might further job prospects and put more money in the bank butit could also increase the risk for divorce by 40 percent, a new study from Umeå University innorthern Sweden shows.

• Parental leave equality '30 years away': study (15 Apr 11)• Minister: housewives threaten EU economy (8 Mar 11)• 'Gender quotas would benefit Sweden's corporate boards' (8 Mar 11)

“To be able to commute to work can be a positive thing because it means you don’t have to uprootyour family with every career move but it can also be a strain on your relationship,” said author 

Erika Sandow to The Local.

According to the study, 11 percent of Swedes have a journey to work that consists of a 45-minutecommute or longer. Many commuters have small children and are in a relationship. Most are men.

“One of the long-term risks with commuting is that it can sustain gender -based stereotypes both athome and in the labour market,” Sandow said.

In families where the man commutes, the woman is often forced to take a less qualified job closer to home, which means both less money as well as a larger share of the the responsibility for kidsand household.

Although women commuters also experience an increase in salary and career prospects, earlier studies have shown that they experience more stress and feel less successful career-wise thancommuting men.

The risk of divorce goes up by 40 percent for commuters and the risk is the highest in the first fewyears of commuting.

According to the study, most people that start commuting to work continue doing so and more thanhalf that travel a long distance to work today have done so for more than five years.

Five years also seems to be a wathershed because according to the study, most commuters and their families have managed to adapt to the situation by then.

But Sandow adds that they don’t know for certain why that is.

“There could be another selection process at work there as well, that the 'weaker' relationships can’ttake that kind of strain in the first place,” she said.

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Growing labour market regions may be good for growth but Sandow thinks that it is a pity that thesocial costs of commuting aren’t brought up more in the debate.

“We don’t know today what the increase in commuting will mean to society in the long run and itis important to look at the social costs involved as well,” Sandow said.

And more Swedes are travelling farther distances to work.

“The trend is definitely pointing upward. Both the journey to work and the working hours aregetting longer, “ Sandow told The Local.

The study was based on statistical data from two million Swedish households between 1995 and2000.

Rebecca Martin ([email protected])

http://www.thelocal.se/33966/20110524/