dealing w conflict

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Dealing With Conflict

A Process for Resolving Discord

Conflict. Emp. , 5/2004, Revised 1/2008, T265-16-Op

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Agenda

Introduction

What Is Conflict?

Conflict Management Survey

Five Conflict Management Styles

roce ures or on ct eso ut on

Potential Outcomes

Case Studies

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Learning Points

Learning Points

Conflict. Emp.5/2004,T265-15-LE

Reproduction ofmaterial for useother thanintended purposerequiresthewritten

consent ofUBH.

TrainingPrograms

UBH2004

Dealing With Conflict

A Process for Resolving Discord

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e ne t e mpact o c on ct n t e wor p a ce

Identify how and why conflicts arise

Identify different styles of managing conflict

Assess own conflict resolution style

Discuss conflict negotiation options

Apply and practice conflict resolution strategies

Participants will:

Identify how and why conflicts arise

Identify different styles of managing conflict

Assess their own conflict resolution style

Discuss conflict negotiation options

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What Is Conflict?

What Is Conflict?

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Conflict may be defined as the perceived incompatible difference between two or more

people that result in some form of interference or opposition, and may take many forms.

Another definition is that conflict occurs when parties with contrasting goals come in

contact with one another; a clash of opposing ideas.Looking at conflict, however, from the perspective of a problem to be solved results in a

ess emo ona y c arge a mosp ere, one w c encourages co a ora on. s opens e

door to working with the other party rather than against him or her. In other words, conflict

does not have to be a confrontation to be overcome; it can simply be a problem to be

solvedan opportunity to identify areas for change and improvement.

.

To begin the process of resolving conflict appropriately, the first step is to identify your

conflict management style.

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Conflict Management Style Survey

Instructions

Consider your workplace and answer the following questions. Allocate 10 points among thefour alternative responses given for each item below. Be certain your answers add up to10.

Example

When others around me become involved in an interpersonal conflict, I usually:

Intervene to Call a meeting to talk Offer to help if I can Ignore the problemsettle the dispute it over

3 6 1 0

When someone who is important to me is actively hostile toward me, i.e. yelling,threatening, abusive, etc., I tend to:

Respond in a Try to persuade the Stay and listen as Walk awayhostile manner person to give up long as possible

his/her actively

hostile behavior_____ _____ _____ _____

When someone who is relatively unimportant to me is actively hostile toward me, i.e.yelling, threatening, abusive, etc., I tend to:

Respond in a Try to persuade the Stay and listen as Walk awayhostile manner person to give up long as possible

his/her activelyhostile behavior

_____ _____ _____ _____

When I observe people in conflicts in which anger, threats, hostility and strong opinions arepresent I tend to:

Become Attempt to mediate Observe to see what Leave as quicklyinvolved and ha ens as ossible

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take a position

_____ _____ _____ _____


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When I perceive another person as meeting his/her needs at my expense, I am apt to:

Work to do any- Rely on persuasion Work hard at Accept thething I can to and facts when changing how I situation as it ischange that person attempting to have relate to that person

that person change

_____ _____ _____ _____

When involved in an interpersonal dispute, my general pattern is to:

Draw the other Examine the issues Look hard for a Let time take itsperson into seeing between us as workable course and letthe problem as I do logically as possible compromise the problem

work itself out

_____ _____ _____ _____

The quality I value most in dealing with conflict would be:

Emotional Intelligence Love and openness Patience

strength and security_____ _____ _____ _____

Following a serious altercation with someone important to me, I:

Strongly desire to go Want to go back and Worry about it a lot Let it lie and notback, settle things work it out, whatever but not plan to initiate plan to initiatemy way give-and-take is further contact further contact

necessary

_____ _____ _____ _____

When I see a serious conflict developing between two people important to me, I tend to:

Express my Attempt to persuade Watch to see what Leave the scenedisappointment them to resolve their develops

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a s a o erenceshappen

_____ _____ _____ _____


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When I see a serious conflict developing between two people who are relatively unimportantto me I tend to:

Express my Attempt to persuade Watch to see what Leave the scenedisappointment them to resolve their developsthat this had to differences

_____ _____ _____ _____

The feedback I receive from most people about how I behave when faced with conflict andopposition indicates that I:

Try hard to get Try to work out Am easygoing and Usually avoid

cooperatively conciliatory position

_____ _____ _____ _____

When communicating with someone with whom I am having a serious conflict, I:Try to overpower Talk a little bit more Am an active listener Am a passive

with my speech feelings) (agreeing and

apologizing)

_____ _____ _____ _____

When involved in an unpleasant conflict, I:

the other person quip or joke about to myself attempts at

the relationship humor

_____ _____ _____ _____

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Use the following situation to respond to the final questions:

When someone does something that irritates me, e.g. smokes in a non-smoking area or

cuts in line in front of me, my tendency in communicating with the person is to:

Insist the person Look the person Maintain intermittent Avoid looking

look me in the eye directly in the eye eye contact directly at the

and maintain eye person

contact

_____ _____ _____ _____

Stand close and Use my hands and Stand close to the Stand back and

make physical body to illustrate person without keep my hands to

contact my point touching him or her myself

_____ _____ _____ _____

Use strong, direct Try to persuade Talk gently and tell Say and do nothing

language and tell the person to stop the person what my

the person to stop feelings are

_____ _____ _____ _____

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Scoring and InterpretationInstructions: When you have completed all fifteen items, add your scores vertically,

resulting in four column totals. Put these on the lines below.

Totals: _______ _______ _______ _______

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4

Column 1. Aggressive/Confrontive = Competing. High scores indicate a tendency

toward Taking the bull by the horns and a strong need to control situations and/or

. .Example: No, thats not right. Only an idiot would have designed a filing system like

that.

Column 2. Assertive/Persuasive = Integrating. High scores indicate a tendency to

stand up for oneself without being pushy; a proactive approach to conflict, and a

willingness to collaborate. People who use this style depend heavily on their verbal

skills.

Example: I understand your viewpoint, and I think we can use that system by adding

this additional tracking format.

Column 3. Observant/Introspective = Compromising or Smoothing. High scoresindicate a tendency to observe others and examine oneself analytically in response to

.

Those who use this style are likely to be cooperative, even conciliatory.

Example: Youre probably right. I hadnt considered that. Lets do it the way you

originally wanted.

Column 4. Avoiding/Reactive = Avoiding. High scores indicate a tendency toward

assivit or withdrawal in conflict situations and a need to avoid confrontation. Those

who use this style are usually accepting and patient, often suppressing their strong

feelings.

Example: Okay.

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Adapted from Conflict Management Survey, Marc Robert, University Assoc. Publishers, Inc., La Jolla, CA.


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Competing

Integrating

Compromising

Smoothing

Avoiding

Competing

Competing produces a win-lose situation. One persons goals are met and the others are

not.

Integrating produces a solution that incorporates each partys goals in the conflict in a

mutually satisfying way.

Compromising

Com romisin consists of one erson ivin in to satisf the needs of another at the earliest

possible stage of the conflict.

Smoothing

Smoothing involves giving in to the other person and ignoring ones own goals. Smoothing

can be useful as a temporary fix in a conflict situation.

AvoidingAvoiding is staying away from or withdrawing from a conflict. Some conflicts may work

themselves out over time, or they may be so trivial that it is not worth the effort to get

involved. Some conflicts are irresolvable.

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ve on c anagemen y es(Continued)


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Competing

Integrating

Compromising

Smoothing

Avoiding

Focus:

On meeting the needs and goals of both parties

- , ,

oriented to meeting the needs of both individuals.

Integrating allows both parties to solve the conflict and leave with positive feelings,

facilitating ongoing work relationships.

Inte ratin is the most com lex and time-consumin of the five strate ies.

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Procedures for Conflict Resolution


5

Identify a facilitator(Optional)

Define the

issues

Agree to meet

Meet during normal

business hoursExplore

Narrow and

create

Reach

agreement

Resolve

Follow-up

1. Define the issues: One or both parties identify the conflict in a respectful

manner.

2. Agree to meet: Within 48 to 72 hours, the parties agree to meet to resolve

the conflict and follow this procedure.

3. Identify a facilitator (optional): If requested, a facilitator is identified.

4. Meet during normal working hours: The meeting should take place

, ,

confidential meeting.

5. Explore the issues and perspectives: The issues are explored; needs and

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roce ures or on c

Resolution (continued)


5

Identify a facilitator(Optional)

Define the

issues

Agree to meet

Meet during normal

business hoursExplore

Narrow and

create

Reach

agreement

Resolve

Follow-up

6. Narrow the differences and create solutions: Solutions are identified and explored

to see ow t ey t w t eac party s nee s an goa s.

7. Reach an agreement: A resolution should be mutually agreed upon by the end of the

meeting.

8. Reach resolution: If, at the end of the second meeting, no resolution is reached,

Human Resources or another designated management representative will arbitrate the

conflict. If HR or other desi nated mana ement re resentative resolves the conflict

the employees involved must agree to abide by it without complaint.

9. Follow-up: Evaluate progress, offer mutual assistance and address any barriers to

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Conflict Negotiation:Potential Outcomes

Potential Outcomes

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T ra de -Off Co mpr omi se

Win-Lose

Agree to Disagree

No OutcomeWin-Win

Trade-Off

Both parties reach a mutual agreement that

Compromise

Each party gives up part of its

submit. Best when done on a reciprocal

basis.

.

Agree to Disagree

Parties decide that agreement is not essential

to goal achievement. Disagreement does not

damage the relationship.

Win-Lose

One party prevails and the other

loses. Relationship damage

potential is high.

Win-Win

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An agreement is reached which

allows both parties to get all

their needs met.

No Outcome

A solution is not reached and the

disagreement continues.


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Case Study 1

In a recent effort to trim the fat in your company, your vice president decided that you

and Stephanie would need to assume more responsibilities. This was made possible by

assigning more administrative duties to both of you to handle yourselves. In the beginning

you werent thrilled with this new way of doing things, but you have since learned how

many steps can be eliminated under the new system.

.

did about the changes, but instead of adapting and working with the new system, she has

regressed to the old way of doing things. This has created a log jam, and your work is often

delayed because of Stephanies extensive demands. Tension between the two of you has

developed. You realize that this is affecting the morale of your team and hurting thecompany.

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Case Study 2

You and Larry are old friends. You both started working at this company out of school and

have moved up the ranks at a relatively even rateyou in research and he in marketing.

Larry was assigned to work with your department on a four-month project because of a

recent downsizing and restructuring of departments. You told your co-workers what a great

guy Larry is, and they had looked forward to meeting him.

, -

Larry. They claimed he was obnoxious, overbearing and difficult to work with. You assured

them that he just comes across a little strong, but deep down inside he really is a decent

person and a hard worker. You have mentioned these complaints to Larry. He feels that

your co-workers are uncooperative.

Recently, they approached you again with the same complaints, saying that Larry hasnt

changed and, in fact, is getting harder to tolerate.

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Case Study 3

Your supervisor has just been promoted. You and Martyanother employeeare

com etin for the vacant osition created b his de arture. You and Mart have verdifferent personalities. Marty comes from a sales background, is very outgoing and likes to

make sure everyone knows when he has done something beneficial for the company. You

are more introverted. You work hard and do a good job for the company, but you dont like

to make a big deal out of your successes.

Marty has been campaigning for this position ever since he got wind that your supervisor

might be promoted. He recently has resorted to speaking negatively about you so that he

will look better. You really want this promotion and honestly feel that you deserve it more

than Marty does. You are furious that Marty is carrying on this way, but youre not sure

what you should do about it.

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Case Study 4

You and Janet have worked in the same department for a little over six months. Janet isthe type of person who will do whatever work is assigned her, but rarely takes the

initiative to seek out tasks on her own.

Janets lack of initiative has bothered you, but you have let it go because you felt your

supervisor knew who was doing what work, and you felt you were being properly

compensated. Recently, however, your company has decided to institute a bonus system

o rewar g -per orm ng groups. veryone n your group w rece ve an equa onus.

You think this decision is unfair. As far as you are concerned, Janet will be rewarded for

your hard work. Youve heard Janet say she thinks this system is great. Shell get more

money, and she doesnt have to work any harder. Because there is no assigned supervisorfor each departmental group, the only person you can go to is the manager of your entire

de artment and ou know that she believes stron l in the new reward s stem.

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en o a o a

Professional CounselorWhen to Talk to a

Professional Counselor

Emotionality

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Substance use/abuse

Reckless behavior

Anxiety/Panic

Work performance issues

Relationship difficulties/withdrawal

Sleep/energy problems

Appetite disruption

Despair/hopelessness; lack of pleasure

Suicidal thoughts

Emotional mood swings

Angry outbursts

Prolonged crying or weeping

Using drugs or alcohol to cope

Reckless behavior

Anxiety or panic

Inconsistent work performance

Interpersonal difficulties

rawa

Low energy or chronic fatigue

Change in sleep patterns

Diminished or increased appetite

Feelings of despair or hopelessness

Diminished capacity for pleasure

Suicidal thoughts

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ur er ea ng an

Additional Resources

Books

Cloke, Kenneth; Joan Goldsmith; Warren Bennis.Resolving Conflicts at Work:

Eight Strategies for Everyone on the Job. Jossey-Bass, 2005.

Fisher, Roger; William Ury; Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement

Without Giving In. Penguin, 1991.

, . .Resolving Conflict. Sage Publications, 2000.

Kindler, Hubert S. Crisp: Conflict Management, Third Edition: Resolving

Disagreements in the Workplace. Crisp Learning, 2005.

Landau, Sy; Barbara Landau; Daryl Landau. From Conflict to Creativity: How

Resolving Workplace Disagreements Can Inspire Innovation and Productivity.

ossey- ass, .

Maravelas, Anna.How to Reduce Workplace Conflict and Stress: How Leaders

and Their Employees Can Protect Their Sanity and Productivity From Tension

and Turf Wars. Career Press, 2005.

Tillett, Gregory.Resolving Conflict: A Practical Approach. Oxford University

Press, 2000.

Wiersma, Bill. The Big Aha!: Breakthroughs in Resolving and Preventing

Workplace Conflict. Ravel Media, LLC, 2006.

Withers, Bill and Jerry Wisinski.Resolving Conflicts on the Job.

AMACOM/American Management Association, 2007.

e es

http://humanresources.about.com/od/managementtips/a/conflict_solve.htm

www.crinfo.org/action/recommended.jsp?list_id=121

www.mediationtools.com/articles/index.html

http://web.cba.neu.edu/%7eewertheim/interper/negot3.htm

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Appendix AFacts About Conflict

1. Conflict arises from various sources

Opposing value systems

Differing sets of needs

Lack of information; failure to communicate

Clashing personal styles

2. Many people avoid conflict or handle it poorly

Anger often results when conflict occurs, and this can be uncomfortable and

frightening for many people because:

Aggressive people tend to be vocal and direct; they may also be intimidating,

.

Nonaggressive people are less likely to voice their anger; instead, they may use

humor, silence or non-verbal behavior as a way of communicating anger. As a

result, anger in nonaggressiveor passivepeople may not be easily identified.

People labeled as passive-aggressive tend to be sarcastic and use defensivepostures and vocal intonations that pretend innocence or as a warning to let you

.

In our competitive culture, many people assume that conflict always results in a win-or-

lose outcome.

3. Conflict is inevitable in human interaction

Equip yourself by learning the skills to manage conflict

Use these skills and you will increase your comfort level for dealing with conflict

4. Look upon conflict as an opportunity

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To grow personally

To enhance morale and harmonious workplace relations

To improve the quality and quantity of the work itself


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Appendix B

e os s an angers o

Unmanaged Conflict

Costs:

Destroys professional relationships

Creates barriers to individual and organizational effectiveness

Creates enemies and hidden agendas

Adds stress to the workplace

Wastes time, money and resources

Affects the ability to stay competitive

Dangers:

Those involved frequently feel powerless to change the situation.

These same people become disillusioned and apathetic, lowering productivity; this

may result in tardiness, increased absences or increased errors.

People may align with the individualor groupthey believe is right, or perceived as

the underdog, causing a larger rift.

There may be increased unmanaged conflict, due to hypersensitivity.

Employees and work groups may become uncooperative and adversarial.

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ppen x

Benefits of Organizational Conflict

If conflict is dealt with forthrightly, honestly and openly the tone for addressing

conflict is set and trust can be established leading to:

Increased strength and cohesion

Provision of a safety net

Clarification of issues and goals

Improved relationships

Improved communication

nnovat on an creat v ty

Potential cause of organizational change

Additional benefits include:

.

Better decisions because factors are considered that normally would have

been overlooked. People introduce new facts, opinions and experiences

which create better understanding.

Hearing the other side, considering a different perspective and figuring

out how to work with those difficult eo le.

Progress and the opportunity to get out of a rut.

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ppen x

The Core of the Conflict

Some conflicts are a result of:

Conflict over approach

People get set in their ways and think their approach is the only one. They need to

ex lore the suitabilit of alternatives.Conflict over goals

Misunderstanding over goals and their expected outcomes can cause conflict and

disruption. Clearly define the goal of the project so all are clear on the expected

outcome.

Role conflict

lead to buck passing.

Different values

This includes differences in work ethic, culture, habits, lifestyle, etc.

Different interpretation of factsThis relates to unclear task assignment or instructions, and ambiguity about policies,

.

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ppen x

Managing Conflict

Research by psychologist Howard J. Markman at the University of Denver's Center

for Marital and Family Studies led to development of some ground rules for

discussing emotionally charged issues in the marital context. A report appeared in an

article in The Boston Globe in 1990. These may be adapted as guidelines for the

wor p ace. en con c resu s n n ense os y n your organ za on, you can usethese guidelines to help the participants move back to dialog.

Choose a good time of day

Choose a good day of the week

Stay focused

Take turns

Avoid blaming

Own your messages, feelings, behavior by using I statements

Avoid analogies

Validate

Notice your breathing

Take a break

Deal with obstacles

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ppen x

Negotiation: Setting the Stage

1. Evaluate: Is this a fight worth fighting?

Importance of issue

To me

To the other parties

To the organization

egree o anger or ur a you may ee as a resu o e g

Potential for personal harm or damage to the relationship

2. Is it the right time?

Self esteem should be high for all parties involved

Sufficient energy must be present

Set aside sufficient time

Be aware of cultural differences

3. Is it the right place?

Should be private if possible

Should be free of distractions

Must be safe

Should be on neutral territory

Should not have furniture placement that interferes with or communicates

power differences

4. Who should be involved?

Those involved in the conflict

A mutually-agreed-upon third party mediator, if necessary

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ppen x

Tools for Conflict Negotiation

1. A willin ness to ne otiate the conflict

Be prepared to problem-solve:

What is the problem? Clearly define it.

What do the participants need? State needs clearly.

Acknowledge that all parties have strong feelings about the issues.

Creatively explore potential solutions.

Allow ideas to be combined and modified.

Own your thoughts, feelings, behaviors:

State your view of the situation.

Take responsibility for and share your feelings about the situation.

Clearly outline your ideas for solving the problem.

Own the commitment you are willing to make to solve the conflict and

clarify what you would like from the other

participant(s).

Practice effective listenin skills

Appropriate eye contact

Inviting

Clarifying

Restating

Confirming/Affirming

Use appropriate body language Pay attention to physical space, seating arrangements and cultural

dynamics

Lean forward to communicate interest

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Use appropriate eye contact

Use relaxed, open gestures and posture


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Appendix Goo s or on c

Negotiation (Continued)

2. Positive energy and focus

- .

Generate respect, good will and positive regard for the participants

involved, regardless of your personal feelings.

Focus on the issues and solutions at hand, not on personalities.

Focus on one problem at a time; dont get side-tracked.

Persevere; it takes time to negotiate conflict.

3. An effective conflict negotiation style

Be willing to set aside your own agenda and put yourself in the other

persons shoes.

Refuse to hit below the belt.

Establish ground rules that ensure respect for the feelings of all concerned.

Confidentiality

Amount and phrasing of feedback

Limited tolerance for interrupting, standing, shouting, tablepounding, swearing, abusive language, walking out without

a reement

Agreement on the conflict negotiation process

Rules for brainstorming

Maintain personal safety.

End a negotiation session if any party appears to be losing emotional

control.

Involve a third party mediator if conflict negotiation efforts

repeatedly fail, or if emotions run high.

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