Communication in

RelationshipsGLT: Discuss the role of communication in maintaining

relationships.

Advice:

• What advice can you give (from your own experiences or based on just what you think) for couples who want to stay in a healthy relationship?

• It doesn’t necessarily have to be related to communication.

SLTs• Five Maintenance Strategies

• Self-disclosure (and social penetration theory)

• Gottman’s ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’

Maintenance Strategies

Self-Disclosure

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Maintenance Strategies

• Researcher’s in this field say these are effective strategies:– Openness – Positivity – Assurances – Sharing tasks – Social networking • Write in your notes what each of these mean? • Provide one example for each

Advice

• Based on what you now know, write a paragraph of relationship advice for a couple, based on the five maintenance techniques.

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

The Four Horsemen

• Contempt

• Criticism

• Defensiveness

• Stonewalling

Contempt

• the feeling that a person or a thing is worthless or beneath consideration

Criticism

• the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes

Defensiveness

• being sensitive to criticism, or justifying your own behavior.

Stonewalling

• putting up a barrier and withdrawing from conversation

• refusing to deal with problems.

Research Evaluation

• Methodology?

• Ethical considerations?

Self-Disclosure

• read the course companion page 280 (bottom) to 281.

• What is social penetration theory?

• How does the research show how self-disclosure can help to maintain a relationship?

Quick Quiz

1. What are the five maintenance strategies?2. Why do we need these?3. What are the four horsemen of the

apocalypse?4. Why are they called that?5. How can self-disclosure influence a

relationship?6. What did the research reveal about

maintenance strategies?7. What is one strength and limitation of

Gottman’s research?

What are the five maintenance strategies?

• Sharing tasks/responsibilities • Social networking• Positivity • Openness • Assurances

Why do we need maintenance strategies?

• Researchers suggest that centrifugal forces naturally act on relationships to break them apart, this is why maintenance strategies can help act against those forces and keep the relationships together.

What are the four horsemen of the apocalypse?

• Criticism • Contempt • Stonewalling • Defensiveness

Why are they called the four horsemen of the apocalypse?

• Because like the four horsemen in the bible who indicate the end of the world, these four factors indicate that there is a high probability that the relationship will end.

How can self-disclosure influence a relationship?

• Self-disclosure means to open yourself up to another person and reveal important information about yourself. Research shows that when people do this, they like the person whom they disclosed to more, and vice versa.

What did the research reveal about maintenance strategies?

• Maintenance strategies are most explicitly used in the beginning of relationships.

• The research also showed that there is a correlation between relationship satisfaction and the frequency of maintenance strategies used by the couple.

What is one strength and limitation of Gottman’s research?

Strengths• Natural experiment (increased

ecological validity in participants)

• Longitudinal (over 20 years)• Couples were selected based

on a range of varying satisfaction levels (85 chosen out of original 200)

• Many types of data collected (observation, questionnaires): triangulation

• Partially hidden cameras to avoid audience effects

Limitations • There are numerous ethical

concerns (e.g. hidden cameras; instigating conflict-based questions)

• Couples may not want to discuss really personal matters in the “love-lab”, which affects validity of data.