COMMUNICATING THEIR STORIES:

STRATEGIES TO HELP APPLICANTS

SHARE THEIR UNIQUE STORIES

Rebecca Joseph, Cal State LASylvia Juarez-Magana, Juarez Consulting Inc.Candy Navarro, Flintridge Sacred Heart AcademyFalone Serna, Reed College Whitney Sims, University of Southern California

The Powerpoint for Today Can Be Found at http://www.slideshare.net/getmetocollege/

Essays=Opportunity

• Share

• Reflect

• Stand Out

WS

Brandon

"Hey!" screams Nick, my school's security guard, trying to jump out of the way of the white Prius that is once again inches away from running him over. It's as if the conspicuous "5-mph" signs that are placed at every corner are invisible to the car's driver, who unfortunately is one of my closest friends (who I will call Jake). Gliding into his space, Jake quickly gestures to me a "hi" as he hastily tries to get out of the security guard's sight. I smile weakly, all the while knowing that his dangerous behavior can't continue.

Later that week, at the beginning of lunch, the rest of the Student Judiciary Council (SJC) and I are sitting in our customary row of chairs with my discourteous friend sitting in a chair directly in front of us. "Welcome to the SJC. Our job is to instill the voice of the students into the disciplinary process," the Chief Justice explains. "Do you understand why you are here?" Reclining back in his chair, Jake responds with an inappropriate thumbs up.

After listening to the case against my friend for endangering not only Nick but also our entire community with his reckless driving, I feel compelled to speak: "Jake, do you understand that you not only almost killed that security guard, but you also put him in a position that made him approach our head of school and tell him he didn't feel comfortable working in such an institution?!?"

Brandon-2I feel the gaze of every member on the council. At that moment, my only concern is not for

my friend but rather for the safety of the security guard. After Jake looks at me in shock, I

help create his punishment that includes banishment from the parking lot, an apology to

Nick, and a day of reflection serving as the position of security guard.

While doing my work on the SJC, I know that people like Jake will get mad at me, but it is

ok. Every case involving a close friend ends up with the same routine: I say something that

offends him or her in some way, he or she is upset at me for a couple of weeks, and then

we reconcile. More importantly, my friends know that I represent a community who

believes they can change for the better. I know that change does not come easily. The

majority of the cases that we are faced with come down to the type of person that we are

dealing with, rather than a one time mistake. This means that the SJC is not only trying to

resolve that individual case, but also working to prevent further similar cases from

occurring.

I am honored to serve the world of my school, which believes that students can play a role

in discipline. I believe certain intrinsic qualities should be inherent within all students,

including the ability to take responsibility for our own actions and the respect for other

members that are part of the community. If students can't hold themselves responsible for

their mistakes, I want to be part of the process that helps them begin the difficult process

of changing..

Brandon-3

I am currently the only member of my school community who has been on the SJC for the past four years and am serving this year because I am the president of my school. I take my role very seriously as a member of the committee, as a mentor to ninth graders, and as president of the school, because I believe profoundly in the power of our community if everyone actively makes an effort to treat each other with respect.

While I don’t plan on majoring in politics formally in college, I do plan on always serving my community by becoming an active leader on campus. Increasingly, I am interested in becoming a doctor and spent last summer observing different medical practices. In college, I plan to learn more about the medical field while always standing up for everyone on my campus.

Essays = More Opportunity

Show unique stories that make applicants jump off the page

Realize the package of essays counts…not just one

Express who they really are

Challenge stereotypes

Reflect on their growth and development, including accomplishments and service

Seek to understand what the admission officers are looking for

WS

Successful Admissions Writing Includes:

Introspection ~ Self reflection allows for depth in writing

Complex Thinking ~ Identify & showcase multi-

dimensions

Keep it Simple ~ Addressing the prompt; no tangents

Coherence ~ Arrangement of qualities with examples

Style and Tone (personal) ~ Be true to oneself; “voice”

Syntax and Format (maturity) ~ Multiple drafts are a

must

SJM

How Important Are The Essays?

Grades

Rigor of Coursework, School

Test Scores

Essays*

Recommendations-Teacher and/or Counselor

Activities-Sustained consistency, development, leadership, and initiative

Special skills, talents, awards, community service and passions

ALL

Steps to Success (Overview Slide)

Understand the essays you will have to write

Create a master chart to highlight patterns, but also track due dates – this should also include scholarships for which the student plans to apply

Write a resume

Brainstorm core qualities and unique stories

Use effective organizational structures

Seek out application essay resources-i.e. boot camps

View process as teachable moments

CN

Understand the Essays…

The Common Application:One Long/ 250-650 words –Paste in. Plus University Writing Supplements1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again.

4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

.

Private College Specific Applications Other Systems (Universal Application, etc.)

WS a

Reed College’s Five Keys To

Common Application Essays

• Fill in the blanks. Don’t restate what’s already

there.

• Be creative with the everyday.

• Be focused.

• So what? Why are you writing this?

• Proofread. Remember this is a writing sample.

Understand the Essays…

University of California Prompts• All applicants must respond to two essay prompts — the general prompt and either the

freshman or transfer prompt, depending on your status.

• Responses to your two prompts must be a maximum of 1,000 words total (allocate at

least 250 words for one response).

• Provide views from two different aspects of your life or background ~ illustrates how

well rounded you are.

The Prompts

• 1. Freshman applicant prompt

• Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school

— and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations. (Influence)

• 2. Prompt for all applicants

• Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience

that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud

and how does it relate to the person you are? (The Facts with Examples)

SJM

Helping Release Individual Voices

• Verbal/Linguistic

• Logical/Mathematical

• Visual/Spatial

• Body/Kinesthetic

• Musical/Rhythmic

• Interpersonal

• Intrapersonal

• Naturalist

• Existentialist

SJM

Create a Master Chart: Organize!

Major Deadlines – think about creating a calendar

Core Essays ~ color code mode

(similar/overlapping)

Supplemental Essays -- color code similar types

i.e. “Why are you a good match for us?” or “How

will you add to the diversity of our campus?”

Be careful to not use the same core essay topic

Avoid canned answers – do your research!

CN

Write A Resume

Academic: Current school, honors, AP courses, test scores (if strong:

SAT or ACT, AP, Subject exams), academic summer programs – to

start. These don’t need to stay on your resume.

Activities: Clubs, sports, volunteer work, employment, internships.

Describe the level of activity and any awards and honors received.

Include leadership positions held.

If the activity or award is something specific to your school, craft a

one-sentence explanation. i.e. “Lion’s Voice” or “Wolverine Award”

Resumes should also include an idea of time spent on each activity –

this will help when it comes to filling out the Common App, but can

also be easily removed when needing a formal resume.

CN

Core Qualities & Unique Stories

Brainstorming Exercises:

Write a letter to future roommate

Write three responses to the common application optional short essay activities prompt

Share A Culture Bag

Instagram/Twitter

What did you do last summer

RJJ

Organizational StructuresInto

• Lead the reader into the story• Start with a hook• Consider cutting first paragraph(s) from first draft

Through• Use 1/3, 2/3 method: if starting with a life or family challenge,

move quickly into who student is now; if writing about someone who influenced, make sure 2/3 of essay is about the student not the person of influence

• Use first person• Show don’t tell

Beyond• Connect to who student is now and who student wants to be• Evoke core qualities, convey morals

RJJ

David Mamet

“Get into the scene late, get out of the

scene early.”

RJJ

Essay Workshops

Create a boot camp for your students – even if just for a day!

Work on writing one to two core essays

Drafts, drafts, and more drafts (the average essay takes at least four drafts to have a clear message)

Free-writing

Brainstorming

Organization

Be willing to include unique stories and pivotal messages or a unique take on student interests

CN

Impact and Initiative

Impact Initiative

RJJ

Final Thoughts

Students need to remember that they:Can create amazing essays and control this process.Cannot use essays to get into unrealistic college

choicesHave just a few minutes to grab the attention of an

essay reader.Need weeks, not days, to write effective college

essays.Cannot manufacture essays; essays convey truth,

unique stories, and writing skills.Can tell their story like no one else.

Contact Us

• The Powerpoint for Today Can Be Found at http://www.slideshare.net/getmetocollege/

• Rebecca Joseph, PhD, California State University, Los Angeles, rjoseph@calstatela.edu

• Sylvia Juarez-Magana, Juarez Consulting Inc., sjuarez@myway.com

• Candy Navarro, Flintridge Sacred Heart Academy. navarro.candy@gmail.com

• Falone Serna, Reed College , sernaf@reed.edu

• Whitney Sims, University of Southern California, whitnems@usc.edu