collaborate dont dominate
DESCRIPTION
This presentation is based on the books The Family Coach method and the forthcoming Bloom: 50 things you can say, think and do with anxious, angry and over-the-top kids by Kenney and Young (2015). The key features of the talk are how to communicate and collaborate to move around the defensive brain and engage the thinker.TRANSCRIPT
Collaborate Don’t Dominate
Lynne Kenney, PsyDwww.lynnekenney.com
The Discipline Trap
Stay Out of Damage Control
Prepare, plan, practice and preview to prevent.
Misbehavior is Brain Function
=+B E BV
The 98% Rule
Why Children Misbehave
•Developmental Delays•Executive Function•Illness•Low blood sugar•Over-stimulation•Boredom•Misunderstanding•Sabotage•Anxiety
Is it a skill deficit or willful non-compliance?
The Three-Part Strategy
• Feed the brain and fuel the body
• Move around the defensive brain for more effective engagement and better behavior
• Move to Think
Consider The Whole Child
Whole Food Builds Calm Brains
• Power Greens (Kale, collard, swiss chard, spinach, romaine)
• Omega-3s (ground flax seed, walnuts, wild salmon, shrimp, fortified eggs)
• Water• Proteins• Vegetables and
fruits
Moving Around The Defensive Brain
What percentage of the time is your communication:
Five Steps To Better Behavior
• Communicate (Who what when where how)
• Elaborate (I hear you saying)
• Demonstrate (What does it look like?)
• Collaborate (We agree to)
• Transfer the skill (Can you show us how?)
• Make the children mentors (Can you please teach another person)
• Empathize ~ Collaborate ~ Offer New Words and Actions
• Tell a story• Bounce a ball• Walk it out• The Thinker Makes Good Choices• Chant, sing, draw, The Ruby Books
Skill Analysis
Can he do it?If yes, expect itIf no, teach it
The Brain Knows What It Needs
• Consistency, reliability and mastery• Movement• Nutrition• Patterns• Rhythm• Oxygenation