Are you receiving me?Key skills for effective communication

Sue Duraikan

Objectives• Learn how your mindset affects verbal and

non-verbal communication• See why you must plan before you

communicate • Get your message across more clearly• Listen to and understand others better• Identify key qualities of successful one-to-one

communication

Think right!

Trigger Thoughts Feelings Behaviour

Mindfulness: be aware of your…• State of mind• Attitude to

person, situation or topic

• Assumptions and self-limiting beliefs

What’s your self-talk?

Key skillsTeller• Get attention• Get main points across• Bring points to life• Check understanding

Understander• Concentrate• Ask questions• Read back• Encourage

Teller skills

• Why• Who• What• How• Where• When

Frame of reference

The ‘glasses’ through which each of us sees the world. We each have a different prescription which affects our understanding of the world.

Leave a message after the beep…• You are on the train to London. You are supposed

to be meeting your friend at a bar called Scaramouche in South Kensington at 19.00 but the train is delayed due to signalling problems and you’re not sure when it will arrive.

• Leave a message on your friend’s phone.

Leave a message after the beep…• You have received a bill from the gas company

indicating that you didn’t pay your last bill. However you know you have done because you remember making the payment and the money has been taken out of your bank account.

• Leave a message for the Customer Services department of the gas company. Your customer reference number is 1467 3278 9007.

Leave a message after the beep…• You want to go to a family wedding next Friday – all very last

minute but that’s what your cousin is like! It’s very busy at work at the moment but you need to ask your boss/supervisor if you can take the day off. Actually you really need the Thursday afternoon off as well so that you can travel to Devon for the wedding.

• Leave a message for your boss/supervisor, who is away at a conference in Singapore this week – so it’s not easy for you to speak on the phone due to time zone differences.

Leave a message after the beep…• You will be late home from work today due to a last

minute crisis. You were supposed to be cooking dinner and then dropping your child off at his/her karate class at 7.00pm.

• Leave a message for your partner giving simple instructions for making a pasta dish. And you need to remind them about the karate class.

Leave a message after the beep…• You are working with a colleague, Anne, on project X. She

suggested you gather information from a number of Internet

websites, the addresses of which she gave you. You have

searched but couldn’t find much relevant information –

perhaps you didn’t use the right links? You need to finish work

on the project this week –so you’re under pressure now.

• Leave a message on Anne’s phone.

Leave a message after the beep…• Your computer is playing up. When you try to

access Email it keeps saying ‘access denied’. Also, you’ve been trying to use spreadsheets but you’re not an expert and you can’t work out how to do what you want.

• Leave a message for the Computer Support team.

Making an impact

• Verbal• Vocal• Visual

Sales

VerbalVocalVisual

Key skillsTeller• Get attention• Get main points across• Bring points to life• Check understanding

Understander• Concentrate• Ask questions• Read back• Encourage

Understander skills‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood.’

St Francis of Assisi

Questions• Open v• Open minded v• Opinion v• One at a time v

• Closed• Leading• Memory• Multiple

Understander skills: Digging deeper

• Scratch the surface: facts and information

• Probe: opinions, ideas• Search: beliefs, values

What makes a satisfying conversation?• The right climate• A genuine dialogue• Willingness to be open• Purpose achieved