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Actress Carol Bailey on

Life, Love and Mothering

An Autistic Son

Understanding Menopause &

Weight Gain

Dealing with DRAMA

In

Relationships

Fashion: Our Favorite Trench Coats for

Spring

April 2014

The Magazine for Bold Movers

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Table of Contents

April 2014

The Magazine For BOLD Movers

Cover Feature: Carol Bailey On

Life, Love & Mothering An Autistic

Son 10

Life Changing Feature: Dealing

with DRAMA In A Relationship 14

Understanding Menopause &

Weight Gain 13

Trench Coat Trends We Like 23

In Every Issue Prime Time 4

Postings 6

Frankly Speaking 7

Your Body Strong 13

Loving 19

Sepia Style: 17

Naturally BOLD Naturally Me!

Superwoman Sanctuary 21

The Main Thing 25

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PRIME TIME

The Family Business

When we hear the term, Family Business, we

usually think about a business that is owned by a

family; one that has been around for a few

generations and is well established as a source of

income. The family business uses the skills,

education and talents of the family to create income

for that family, and prayerfully others. The young

family members start working in the business early,

so by the time they finish high school or college,

they know where they “fit” in the family business.

That’s not the family business I’m talking about.

As I considered this editorial, my adult children

were making a video. One of them is studying

acting, while the other is studying film, production

and writing. We didn’t intentionally steer them in

that direction, but it didn’t just happen, either. They

are studying things that relate, but that use their

individual talents, creativity and personalities in

different ways.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and

when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Have we thought about the phrase, “The way he

should go?” In our society we busy, working adults

assuage our guilt by trying to get our children in the

BEST programs, the most ACADEMICALLY

ADVANCED school districts, the strictest athletics,

all in an attempt to make them “competitive”, and

dare I say, “conformative”. OK, I made that word

up and here’s the definition: conforming to what

other people think they should be. While we all

should endeavor to give our children the best we

can afford , we need to remember that money can’t

tell you the way they should go As a parent or one

with oversight for children you have to prayerfully

observe them; their likes, dislikes, talents, learning

styles, challenges and strengths. In the traditional

Family Business, somebody has to outline a vision

for the company and the employees – otherwise

what is the point of the business? Well God has

outlined a vision for each of us, including our

children, but you have to look for the “markers” in

your child that point to the way he (or she) should

go. And then, like one who oversees a business,

you have to

create

opportunities for

success. Our

children are

dying in the

streets because

those overseeing

the Family Business are too busy with other

people’s business.

In the Family Business, we get to provoke each

other to greater when we feel too weak to try

harder and give and receive comfort when it gets

too heavy for us. You have to listen when God

tells you, the characteristics in your children and

discerning His pleasure with their individual

brilliance. Hearing and internalizing what God says

about your children means you have to put your

ego, your desires for them, all the unfulfilled stuff

in you – away. Once the children come along,

getting them to successful adulthood is YOUR

PRIORITY.

Pause. That’s right. Whether you do it alone or

with a spouse, The Family Business is the business

of nurturing the next generation of leaders who are

right now living under your roof. There is

something in them for you, and there is

something in you for them. Pause again. If you

dare to embrace The Family Business, you will be

rewarded beyond anything you could imagine by

rejoicing in their success, and realizing that what is

in you has value in spite of what others have said.

In fact I believe as you really pour into your

children, you will find some commonality with their

gifts.

Did I mention this applies to spouses too? That

can be a little dicey because spouses don’t come to

us as children, but as people who may have been

misdirected by parental, societal, educational, and

(gasp) religious expectations. You don’t get to re-

raise them, but to fight for the essence of who God

says they are (and you know what that is because

you have unselfishly prayed and heard God tell you

5 | P a g e

their SWOT). Sometimes you may even have to

fight them for them. The best thing a woman can do

for her son is to let him see her honestly respect his

father – flaws and all and fearlessly engaging in

uncomfortable discussions. That takes nothing away

from his father and helps the son get used to

accountability from the one he spends his life with.

The best thing a father can do for his daughter is to

sincerely love her mother – good, bad and ugly, and

fearlessly engaging in uncomfortable discussions.

In an environment where love is unquestioned we

don’t have to tip toe around hard stuff. We work

through it like in any successful business. We

teach our children how to handle conflict in

relationships by how we deal with the conflicts in

ours. The Family Business, like the business I

talked about in the first paragraph should aim at to

meet its target – children who are not afraid be

BOLD in their love for family and AUTHENTIC in

their pursuit of "The way they should go".

Tend to ya’ business. You are loved

.

Michele

Get The Tools You Need To Succeed With Ken Cheatham

2nd & 4th Mondays

At 7:00 pm CST

Conversations with Ken

About Life, Motivation &

Being Your Best Self

“Achieving your goal is simple, but not

easy.” Ken Cheatham

Blogtalkradio.com/bold-movers-radio

“The idea of building grit and building self-control

is that you get that through failure,” Randolph told

me. “And in most highly academic environments in

the United States, no one fails anything.”

― Paul Tough

The Family Business continued

6 | P a g e

Kind of like letters to the editor…only quicker

“Took a time out from my busy schedule

yesterday to read my copy of Sepia Prime

Woman Magazine and I must say that I

could not stop reading and ended up

reading the entire issue all at once. From

one great article to the next, I was

encouraged, inspired, I laughed and I

cried. I'm not a sweater person, I like suits,

but I've now got a few ideas on how to

make them compliment my wardrobe. I

loved loved Candace Payne's salute to

herself. Pastor Traci Childress' story of how

she found her purpose right within her own

family will certainly inspire others who may

have lost their way. "Why Can't We Just All

Get Along," is a question that I've asked

practically all of my life. I understand that

women act out of their pain. I pray for

healing for each of us so we can love

each other, the way God loves us.

Michele, thank you for pushing us to be

fierce! And you really are a nice person.

Oh, and I'm signing up with a running

coach! Thank you Sepia Prime Woman!”

SJ Chicago

“I just read the magazine from cover to

cover!!! OMG! I’ve heard the word

“Revelation” several times at church, but

after

reading

your

magazine

I realize

that a

revelation

is taking

place in

my life!!!

You are loved Big Time!!”

KJ Chicago

“I've started and I'm loving the articles.

After the emotions settled from your

BEAUTIFUL memory of Lynetta, then my

Bible read, I read, Not just any kind of

woman. Of course I kept going to awaken

still sitting at the computer at 3am (ouch).

The articles are personable that you can

relate or say that's me because they make

the reader feel what they are writing.

Hopefully I will stay awake to finish. High

excitement for the confrontational

dreamer. I intend on getting a pink Sepia

Prime shirt as well.”

CL Charlotte, NC

“I just read the magazine, and I really

enjoyed it. That Candace is awesome. She

helped me.”

RN Matteson

, IL

POSTINGS

Connect with Sepia Prime Woman and The BOLD Movers Network on FaceBook Follow Us on Twitter (@SepiaPrimeWoman, @BOLDMoversNet) Or Get everything (magazines, radio broadcasts, and videos) at

www.sepiaprimewoman.com

7 | P a g e

Frankly Speaking

Spring Cleaning

By Stephanie Franklin

Well…we did it! We survived the brutality of the

winter months cooped up like chickens, not really

wanting to leave the house with the exception of

those absolutely necessary trips, and I do mean

absolutely necessary! But now we are into spring

and you know what that means! Spring Cleaning!

Cleanup week when I was younger meant a good

week out of school and new clothes for me to wear

when I said my rehearsed Easter speech. It was also

a time when my mother went crazy, cleaning the

house like Better Homes and Gardens was coming

to do an interview! We washed windows, cleaned

out the closets, and scraped the corners and wood

framing with the end of a butter knife! The scent of

bleach and Pine Sol was so strong your eyes would

burn and you could smell it from the outside!

In a natural setting, spring cleaning was such a

rigorous and tedious process, but if we did an

inventory of our lives and applied the spring

cleaning principle, we would see that we often

confuse the things we need to keep with the things

we need to get rid of.

For instance:

Relationships: There are relationships that, due to

miscommunication, distance, and a myriad of other

reasons, are strained or broken, but need to be

reconciled. Then there are those toxic relationships

-- Jerry Springer and Maury worthy which bring

only strife, animosity and hurt; they need to be

buried and left in the ground.

Dreams, visions and goals: Well now…many of

these are in the cemetery with weeds growing on

top because we won’t even visit them! When you

were a googly eyed youngster, you had big dreams

of turning the world upside down. Somewhere

between college, marriage, parenthood and life 101,

those dreams got pushed further down the priority

list and in a lot of cases, forgotten. The secret to

overcoming your now mundane existence lies

within discovering your purpose once again and

walking in it! Get out those shovels, blow the dust

off of those journals and business plans and dream

again!

Leggings, Lycra, and all things knit: Many of

them got buried in the 80’s where they should have

stayed along with

so many other

fashion faux pas!

They have now

come back with a

vengeance to a

society that boasts

the most people in

denial about their

body types and

who declare, “If I

can get in it, it

fits!” Lies I tell

you! Just Lies!

Remember, the truth shall set you free!!

Negative thoughts: Sometimes we can’t move

forward because of the “rewind/hit play” button that

we continually rehearse of the negative things said

to us and about us (i.e. “you will never…”, “you

can’t because…”, “You shouldn’t because.”,

“You’re nothing but a…” etc.). STOP! Pull tape

and record new affirmations to rehearse. You are

not your past or the negativity spoken over you!

You is smart, You is kind, You is important!

Bad habits: This list could take up the rest of this

writer’s column and I don’t have that much time or

space! A few of these include procrastination,

Frankly Speaking continued

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gossiping, laziness, lying, ignorance, greed, etc.

These are all destructive to your purpose and

destiny. Break and get rid of those bad habits and

then adopt some new ones that are productive to

your destination and legacy.

And last but not least…YOU! Many of us have

settled into the comfort of mediocrity and act and

look like beggars and paupers instead of the Bad

Mamma Jammas we are! We have let ourselves go

and are content with wearing Mom jeans whose

waist line comes to our necks, and socks with

cartoon characters on them. It has become

acceptable to wear pajama pants, house shoes and

satin hair bonnets outside of the house and justify it.

We have not even put ourselves on our list of things

to do! Knowing who you REALLY are makes

some things unacceptable. Breathe life back into

yourself! Bring sexy back (husbands would greatly

appreciate it!) Do something that brings enjoyment

to you! Learn to love yourself once again…curves,

crooked smile and all. Dumping the junk will

reveal that wonderfully creative and sassy lady you

have forgotten!

In the natural when the house was clean, you

breathed a sigh of relief because after all, there’s

nothing like relaxing in a clean house. Taking

inventory of our lives will bring the same result

without the hazardous chemical smells and the

burning of our eyes.

#Finallyexhaling… #Woossaahhhh….

It’s your move.

Make it a BOLD

One.

9 | P a g e

Coming Up in Sepia Prime Woman Magazine:

May: The Challenges & Blessings of

Mothering in 2014

June: The Men’s Issue

July: Get Aways, “Stay-cations” & Bringing

Back Summertime Fun!

Call to take advantage of our Business

Builder Special that includes a radio Interview,

Commercials on The BOLD Movers Network

and Premium Advertising Space. This is a

limited opportunity and the May Issue closes

April 22nd. What are you waiting for?

It’s Your Move: Make It A BOLD One

Call us at 312.646.0429

Or email: Influence@sepiaprimewoman.com

10 | P a g e

Actress Carol Bailey on Life, Love and Mothering

How long have you been

acting and what are some

things you have been in?

I have been acting on stage

since I was four years old. I

have been in school plays,

drama clubs and even

participated in some award

winning plays at the state

level, while in high school.

When I came to America

from Jamaica as a teen, I

was inducted into the

National Thespian Society.

Twenty years ago, I began

acting as professional. The

very first thing I did was a photo shoot for

Scholastic Book Fairs of America. I have been in

commercials for our local theme parks: Universal

Studios, Sea World, and I’ve done national

commercials for Walt Disney World and

McDonalds. I am in the Oscar winning movie,

Monster with Charlize Theron, where I appear as a

Court Reporter. I have also been in Beethoven’s Big

Break with Eddie Griffin as a dinner guest and

Tooth Fairy 2 as a home demonstration guest. It is

a blast and a privilege to get paid for doing what I

love most.

I also played an HIV patient, who was dying in the

hospital, as a part of a Public Service

Announcement for my state. I spent quite some time

explaining that, “No I was not dying and no I did

not have HIV”.

I am also extremely proud to be a member of SAG-

AFTRA (Screen Actors Guild-American Federation

of Television & Radio Artists); there are only

160,000 of us.

What emotions did you experience after finding

out one of your children was autistic?

The first thing I did was deny the facts. I looked at

the two older kids and told myself that this third one

was going to be okay – it would only be a matter of

time. Then I

discovered

that thyroid

disease with

a

combination

of a wheat

diet could

also be a

contributing

factor in

having

children on

the autism

spectrum.

After finding

that out, I

started

questioning if I was the reason for his diagnosis.

Finally, I realized that yes, my son was autistic and

that it was time to find ways to best serve him as a

parent. At this realization I felt God telling me that

we were given this child because we could be

trusted with him. One of our pastors said almost the

same thing to me the day after I heard this in my

heart; I was truly encouraged by it.

My son’s diagnosis is Autism with Pervasive

Development Disorder. The neurologist said the

only thing we could do was to give him a reduced

dose of a drug called Ritalin. We countered with the

suggestion of Vitamin Therapy to which the

neurologist said no. So, we decided that he was not

going to be on drugs either. We later found this

drug was so powerful that when the children on it

were not being medicated they were almost

uncontrollable. We did not want that for our son.

Over the next few months, I cried and prayed; we

cried and prayed, and I asked God, “Why?” At first

He was silent, or it could have been that I was not

paying attention because I kept asking. Finally, the

answer I heard was, “Why not?” I was shocked at

COVER FEATURE

11 | P a g e

first but it was definitely food for thought. I had

four young children, one of whom was diagnosed as

having special needs, but I also had a loving and

very supportive husband to help bear the load.

There are single parents in the same situation with

no support. I started walking out the path God set

for me.

As a member of our family, Kevin is always

included in our activities. There were times when he

chose not to participate but I think he realized that

we were not giving up on him so he joined the fun.

He also learned that we would not tolerate

misbehavior.

We have had to make adjustments. For example, if

we are going out to eat, we bring a snack so he has

something to munch on while we wait for our food.

When attending church, we choose the shorter

service and sit away from the speakers because he

is sensitive to loud noises.

And now when I meet parents of children with

special needs, I encourage them with the same

words God shared with me: “You have been

entrusted with this precious gift,” and those parents

usually begin looking at their situation with

renewed vision.

How do you keep yourself motivated?

As a woman of faith, I spend time daily reading the

scriptures, devotional material, positive

affirmations as well as praying and meditating on

what I have read. I have found that this helps to

keep me centered and not focused on what others

see as a problem, but thankful for our current

situation. We participate in Special Olympics

events throughout the year. One only has to look

around to realize that things are not so bad – they

could be much worse. I choose to spend my energy

being thankful and enjoying the moments that my

family has been given.

I also keep motivated by reading books, trade

magazines and going to the movies with my

husband (our favorite activity from our dating

days). I have also rediscovered my passion for

working out and I endeavor to spend time in the

gym on a daily basis.

What is your greatest hope for your son and for

your family?

My greatest hope for my son is that one day he will,

like the young Albert Einstein, look up from his

dinner and say, “The soup is too hot,” or some

similar event. I hope that he is able to clearly say

his name, address and phone number as

appropriate responses when questioned. My

mother-in-law read Einstein’s story and called to

tell us about it almost twenty years ago. We still

have hope that he will converse with us one day.

My greatest hope for our family is that they will

realize how proud we are of them as parents. We

are our son’s greatest cheerleaders and we all

celebrate him. When friends come over to visit, he is

introduced and welcomed as one of the gang and

that makes my heart glad.

I remember a time we were having a picnic in the

park when the kids were about 4, 6, 8 and 10. We

had 6 bikes and were taking a rest from riding. A

little boy asked my husband if he could ride one of

the bikes and we gave him Kevin’s bike because it

was just the right

size. Our youngest

put his hands on his

hips and confronted

the little boy, “You

betta leave my

brudda’s bike alone,

right now!” he

demanded, even

though he was a

good foot shorter

than the other boy.

We explained the

situation but little

brother kept an eye on the bike until it was

returned.

We do not take their love for granted and make time

to let them know how we feel about them.

What would you say to the mother who just

found out her son or daughter is autistic?

I would say that this road is going to lead you into

many discoveries, not only about your child but

12 | P a g e

about yourself. In all my years of reading and

research, the autism spectrum is so broad that it is

not a “one-size-fits-all” diagnosis. I would also say

pay attention to your child and get to know them in

ways such as:

Their likes and dislikes

Their triggers, i.e., (what causes them to

become irritable and why)

What things make them happy

What things make them sad

And also for yourself:

Identify your support system.

Consider what plans you have for their

future if their diagnosis does not change or

worsens.

What Is Autism?

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and

autism are both general terms for a

group of complex disorders of brain

development. These disorders are

characterized, in varying degrees, by

difficulties in social interaction, verbal

and nonverbal communication and

repetitive behaviors.

Autism appears to have its roots in

very early brain development.

However, the most obvious signs of

autism and symptoms of autism tend

to emerge between 2 and 3 years of

age. Autism Speaks continues to fund

research on effective methods for

earlier diagnosis, as early intervention

with proven behavioral therapies can

improve outcomes. Increasing autism

awareness is a key aspect of this work

and one in which our families and

volunteers play an invaluable role.

Autism statistics from the U.S.

Centers for Disease Control and

Prevention (CDC) identify around 1 in

88 American children as on the autism

spectrum–a ten-fold increase in

prevalence in 40 years. Careful

research shows that this increase is

only partly explained by improved

diagnosis and awareness. Studies also

show that autism is four to five times

more common among boys than girls.

An estimated 1 out of 54 boys and 1

in 252 girls are diagnosed with autism in the United States.

Excerpted from

www.autismspeaks.org

Kevin’s High School Graduation, June 1, 2012

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YOUR BODY STRONG

Understanding Menopause & Weight Gain

By Tasha Odunuyi

How many of us have heard the dreaded

saying that the older you get the harder it

is to lose weight? When it comes to

staying fit it can be very challenging at

any age, but especially for women in

pre-menopause and menopause.

A study revealed that about 90% of all

women experience weight fluctuations

between the ages of 30 and 55. The

weight gain can range between 10 to 25

pounds during menopause and average a

pound a year.

Let's discuss the known contributing

factors to gaining weight during

menopause:

Testosterone: When you hear this word

you only think of men. The truth is that

women carry this hormone but in smaller

amounts than men. Testosterone is

responsible for building and maintaining

muscle mass along with a host of other

things. It allows the muscle cells to burn

calories and elevates your metabolism.

Unfortunately as your levels begin to

drop, you lose muscle mass and have a

much slower metabolism.

Estrogen: It's a very common thing for

estrogen levels to take a dip during

menopause causing cessation of

ovulation. The decrease is due to a drop

in the production of estrogen by the

ovaries causing your body to look for

other sources of estrogen. The other

source: fat cells resulting in calories

storing as fat in order to increase

estrogen levels.

Stress: High levels of stress can cause

havoc on a women's body and the first

place you start to notice the sudden

weight gain are the waistline, butt, arms

and hips. Too much stress on the body

plays a

negative role

and produces

much higher

levels of

cortisol

resulting in

weight gain.

Insulin

Resistance:

This can

occur when

your body

converts

calories into

fat .Over a period of time the body

resists insulin produced in the blood

stream and experiences weight gain.

Tasha Odunuyi is an NASM Certified

Personal Trainer and owner of Circle

of Life Fitness.

www.colfitness.com

14 | P a g e

Dealing with DRAMA in Relationships By Reverend Michael Anthony Simmons

Since the beginning of creation men and

women alike have shared and sacrificed

with attempts to satisfy each other’s

emotional and physical appetites, only to

be told that tomorrow’s menu will call

for something better and more exciting. I

am of the opinion that there is no such

luxury as a drama-free relationship.

Depending on the couple or single

person you’re talking to, however, you

will get a different definition of drama.

Drama is defined as the specific mode of

fiction represented in a performance.

The term comes from the Greek word

meaning action, which is derived from

the verb meaning to do or to act. When

we classify the disagreements and

argumentative times, or even the

behavior of our significant other in our

relationships as drama we are literally

saying that no matter how serious that

matter might be, or how urgent the

moment, it’s fictitious, a fallacy at best.

No wonder our wives or girlfriends get

offended when we refer to them as a

drama queens.

I consider myself to be a student of this

game of relationships. I’m always

intrigued at the end results of an

emotional co-existence when love is no

longer the nucleus. I began counseling

couples over 20 years ago prior to

officiating their marriage ceremonies

with hopes that the marriage relationship

will be lasting and mutually rewarding,

but not without drama. In fact, I explain

in great detail that they should expect

DRAMA!

Gleaning

from its

original

definition,

they should

expect the

other one to

act. I advised

them to find a

happy

medium, to

consider what

they love

about each

other, and

refer to that or those character traits

when unpleasant happenings occur.

In these sessions I tend to play the realist

or as they might see me, the pessimist.

My objective is to pre-warn them that

the honeymoon won’t last forever and

when tempers flare, (and they will) there

should be a resolve system in place.

They are many different ways of dealing

with those non-diplomatic times, when

you wish you had never said I do, or

agreed to commit to what right now feels

like “this God-forsaken relationship”.

The reality is that everyone handles

disagreements and DRAMA differently.

Personally speaking, I love a good

debate -- the reenactment of issues, and

recalling of statements that prompted me

to get you straight in the first place. On

the other hand, I try to cover my

negligence with charm and romance. It

took me years to fully understand that

LIFE CHANGING FEATURE

15 | P a g e

sexual prowess is time consuming and

limited in terms of an intimate

connection.

By the way, how often do we confuse

romance with intimacy? Most of us

weren’t schooled by someone else’s

experience without room for our own

relational discrepancies. Boys were

taught not to cry, not knowing that we

were actually being taught to be

deceptive to our own feelings of pain

and vulnerability. In reality, we should

have been taught perseverance, and

intestinal fortitude, not the ability to

mask our pain for gender pride. Women

were taught to submit no matter what.

This is one of the reasons so many

women remain in an abusive

relationship, or engage in the roller-

coaster of leaving and coming back.

More often than not, opposites indeed

attract. In the early stages of a

relationship, we’re on our best behavior,

not wanting to appear less than perfect. I

am definitely a proponent of

presentation, and making a good first

impression. However, somehow we have

taken that to mean, “I can’t be my true

self because I won’t be accepted.” Once

familiarly sets in and we gain each

other’s confidence, we become more and

more transparent. Lights, camera, action!

We began disagreeing with her opinion.

She becomes animated with her dislike

for you taking your shoes off in the

sitting area. He would rather watch the

game with the fellas; she wants you to

listen to her vent about her day at the

office. You used to take her shopping;

now you prefer to give her the money

and send her because she takes too long

and you don’t have that kind of patience.

“You changed”! No he didn’t, he’s just

becoming comfortable enough to risk

putting his priorities in front of yours.

It’s not that he’s being insensitive, or

taking you for granted, he just knows

that after you fuss, he’ll whisper sweet

nothings in your ear, seduce you, make

passionate love to you, and all will be

forgiven -- or will it? Women never

forget, they just settle for the idea of

better times to come. Then the big

argument happens, and she becomes a

hall of fame court room stenographer.

She recalls all of the past testimonies,

leaving us men to throw ourselves on the

mercy of the court.

Longevity in a relationship is

contingent upon several factors:

Acceptance of his/her flaws

Admission of your own

imperfections

Willingness to communicate during

difficult times

Ability to forgive

Deciding that this is who I chose to

love unconditionally

Unselfish behavior toward his/her

wants & needs

Managing their trust with

consideration of your own

And so the million dollar question is

how can we get past the DRAMA?

Where do we draw a line in the sand,

and say these are my core values, and I

will not compromise my dignity, or

moral convictions? I want to answer the

question by going on record and saying

that love is not blind and in fact has

20/20 vision. Love has the ability to see

what lust could only imagine. When you

listen to your heart, your soul gives

audible clarity. You must first clear the

mechanism. Understand truth versus

lies; reality versus fiction, and most

Life Changing Feature continued

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importantly joy rather than happiness.

When we navigate our way through

relationship storms, if we have the right

storm apparatus, we’ll be fine. Jesus

makes it clear!

“Whosoever God joins together, let no

man put asunder”! That means, that no

predicaments, or situations, or

circumstances, or worst case scenarios

can disconnect what God connects. If

your relationship is going to survive the

DRAMA, God has to be the writer, and

director of the script. When we learn

how to love ourselves correctly, we can

begin loving someone other than

ourselves. We must learn to disagree

without being disagreeable. We can’t

afford to allow the sun to go down upon

our wrath. We should cherish every

moment, simply because according to

scripture, life is as a vapor, which

appears for a little while, and then it

vanishes. Confrontation can be a good

thing when its intent is to resolve and

resume. No relationship deserves the

ostrich approach -- avoiding the issues,

hoping they will go away. If this

romance and intimate rendezvous is

going to stand the test of time, two must

agree that we are stronger together than

we are apart.

And that we will remain…

Michael Anthony Simmons is an

ordained minister, a playwright and a

father.

Dealing With Drama continued

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708.639.8847

Helping Churches and Small Business Survive So Our Communities Can Thrive

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Naturally ME, Naturally

BOLD By Sonya L Moore “You are .bold”! Those were the

words a young woman told me in

the restroom, as I washed my hands,

before returning to my office to finish

a presentation. I was professionally

dressed in a two-piece suit complete

with leather pumps. Although I

admit I had a bit of swag that day, I

didn’t know what she was referring

to until it dawned on me. She wasn’t

talking about how I was dressed; she

was referring to my hair – my afro! I

was utterly amazed at that

statement because I had not given

my hair a second thought that day,

other than making sure it was neat

and properly moisturized. (I can’t

stand dry hair, but that’s another

article for another day .) What I

found most shocking was that the

young woman also wore her hair

natural, but in a twist out style. I

asked her what was bold about my

hairstyle and she said, “There is no

way I could walk in here with an

afro. I am not that confident”.

Those words caused me to pause

but one word in particular stuck with

me – confident. Until that very

moment, I had not given a second

thought to my hair and workplace

acceptance, nor did I factor in the

confidence to determine my

preferred hairstyle. Now, don’t get

me wrong; to be professional at work

– my speak, my clothing and my

overall appearance

- are of the utmost importance,

especially in a corporate

environment with very few other

women of color in leadership

positions. Confidence was never an

obstacle or challenge to overcome

during my natural hair journey.

That one word, Confidence, let me

know that the natural hair struggle is

real and confidence is an issue for

some women. Was the lack of

confidence a self-inflicted obstacle

or was it really alive in my workplace

(or others) and I couldn’t see it?

Why was it not an issue for me, but it

was for this young lady? Could I

secretly be helping other Naturalistas

along in their journey just by wearing

my afro and being in a leadership

position? Who was paying attention

to my hair and what did (or does) it

mean to others? Was I “changing

the game” at my workplace? At that

moment, I realized that my personal

natural hair journey could help to

pave the way for acceptance and

breaking down barriers and fears of

“management not being ready for

natural hair” because I am

management! As these thoughts ran

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through my head, I realized that I

was the only African American woman

in my building in a leadership position

wearing my hair in its natural state. That

simple statement gave me pause.

Lack of confidence is something many

natural women struggle within their personal

and professional lives. It can stem from co-

workers, friends, family members and even

your spouse or partner; they may not want

you to be natural. However it’s in the

professional realm that may cause women to

reconsider going natural for fear of missing

out on a promotion or high-profile project

that will advance their career. It’s

understandable given the daily challenge

women of color face in having to work twice

as hard to get ahead. Who wants their hair

to be what might prevent them from getting

a promotion?

While it is important to fit in to your

organization, it’s more important to fit in

your own skin and be who you want to be.

Is it easy to find that balance? Not for some,

but if you can walk in your “inner

Naturalista”, do it! It’s up to you to “change

the game” and let others know that the way

you wear your hair is part of your character

and it adds a statement of individuality and

diversity to any organization.

You must also be ready to accept the

challenges that may come your way as a

result of honoring your Naturalista, so it’s

critical that you make the best decision for

you. It’s important for you to factor in the stage of life you are in as you think of your

career; be comfortable with yourself and

understand what could happen if your

culture is not ready to embrace a strong,

beautiful Naturalista walking around

confidently in the workplace. For some this

is a gamble they may not be ready for and

that is fine; the key is to know that you

could encounter a corporate culture not

ready to embrace your choice. For me, my

natural hair journey is mine and I am

walking in it. Reflecting back on the

encounter in the restroom made me think

then, and it causes me to reflect now. So,

wish me luck as I am being me and making

bold moves for Naturalistas in Ohio and

beyond!

Sonya L. Moore is the Founder of ‘Nati Naturalistas,

an active Cincinnati, Ohio membership- and

community-based natural hair society focusing on

empowerment, wellness, style and beauty for women

of all ages who are currently natural, thinking of

becoming natural, transitioning or caring for

someone with natural hair. Feel free to join our

society and learn more about ‘Nati Naturalistas -

www.meetup.com/nati-naturalistas/

Naturally Me….continued

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It’s Worth It!

By Charles & Traci Childress

Charles:

On April 21st, my wife and I will be

celebrating 24 years of marriage.

Among many other thoughts, that fact

also brings to mind the words that

Winston Churchill uttered to Britain’s

House of Commons in the first year of

World War II. He famously said "I have

nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and

sweat". No, marriage hasn’t been as

bad as all that, in fact it’s been a very

fulfilling and rewarding experience; one

I would not trade. I’m just observing

that, as with anything in life that’s worth

having, the commitment to a permanent

relationship has its difficulties, its

challenges and its sacrifices. If you want

to get your relationship to this point and

beyond, you will have to know and

embrace this fact. Keeping life,

communication, romance, spontaneity

and fun in your marriage beyond the

blissful early stage requires it.

Traci:

I can affirm that the struggle was

rewarding, but I also want to add that for

us, the struggle wasn’t all about being at

each others’ throats. The struggle was

more about the outside challenges we

faced while learning to understand how

each other deals with stress, and making

time, amid the stress, to celebrate one

another. Marriage would be very

uninviting if couples thought their

covenant vows were locking them in to a

war zone with each other. That is why I

made up my mind years ago to listen to

and esteem Charles, if I hadn’t we would

probably have declared “every man for

himself and God for us all.”

Charles:

Not long after we married it became

common for couples to write their own

vows and in more and more wedding

ceremonies we attended, this became the

norm. We often heard phrases like “I

can’t breathe without you”, and “I love

you more than life itself” or an

assortment of comments about each

other’s figure, or eyes or sense of humor

etc. There’s nothing wrong with these

kinds of statements and hopefully

everyone feels this way on their wedding

day. The thing that came to my mind

whenever I heard them, however, is that

they are feelings, and a product of the

early blissful days of marriage that don’t

necessarily represent the long haul. So

for instance, if in your vows you spoke

of your loves’ beauty, what happens

when the beauty fades and they become

wrinkled? Is the vow now void? The

traditional marriage vows are replete

with terms like “richer or poorer”,

“sickness and in health” and “til death

do us part”. These statements instill a

sense of responsibility, sacrifice and

longsuffering that along with all the

good times, represent the other side of

the coin that must also be in place if a

relationship is going to be able to

weather the rougher seas encountered on

the way to those double digit years.

LOVING

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Traci:

The thing that stands out to me, about

non-traditional vows, is how much of it

is retained. Did you write your own

vows? Do you remember them? If we

don’t remember the covenant we made,

how can we really move toward

honoring it? It’s in the tough times that

our vows are most important to recall,

that is, if we value the words we shared.

We hear this idea in business; we are

encouraged to write our goals and write

our vision, then put it up where we can

see it so when we feel like quitting we

can remember our “why.” Isn’t a

marriage covenant worth remembering?

If you are in the double digit years like

Charles and I, it’s not too late to recall

your “why”, and renew your vows in the

spirit of your mind.

Charles:

At times you will fight, but learn from it

and let it bring you closer to

understanding each other. At times you

will disagree, but let it pave the way to

acceptable compromises. At times you

will be frustrated, but let it build

patience which finds love and peace in

its midst. Your marriage can go the

distance, but it will take a listening ear,

an open mind and a forgiving attitude to

be among its ingredients.

Traci:

Some say, “For all these years, it seems

like all we’ve done is fight.” This may

be true, but that does not negate your

ability to reap the benefits from your

investment of blood, sweat, and tears (as

Charles put it); however, you will need

to forgive the past, before you can begin

to practice a forgiving attitude as you

move forward. Years of limited and even

bad communication can really put a toll

on hope for the future, but if wedded

bliss is what you want, write out the

word and put it someplace to remind you

what you are aiming for, and set yourself

to make choices and respond in a way

that will take you there…It’s Worth It.

Charles & Traci Childress have been married for 23 years. They have worked together to help couples enrich their marriages for over 17 years. You can visit their website at: funinmarriage.net. To hear The Marriage Network’s open discussion

with couples who are going the distance,

for better or for worse, go to

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bold-

movers-radio/2014/03/08/finding-

serenity The episode is called “Heavy

Love”. You can also register online for

our Couples in the Kitchen Workshop

scheduled for April 19th

at 4p. Just go to

www.FunInMarriage.net and click on

“Workshops and Events”.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes

unhappy marriages.

Friedrich Nietzsche

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A for Effort: My Grade for Balance By Candice Payne These last couple of months my life has been very “springy”. After such a brutal winter mentally and physically, I’ve grown excited about

the new beginnings. The spring brings excitement, optimism, and joy…which lead to me taking action. Most people see spring as a time for new opportunities and are determined to make the best of them. I am ready for growth. I am ready to finally show that I can prevail against the opposing forces. I am so done with all that depression and despair that comes along with the winter. I decided that I was not going to turn down any challenge or opportunity to help me grow or push towards my dreams and goals. This is the year I am finally taking action to pursue my passion. Blogging has allowed me to bless others by encouraging them through my writing and it’s opened other doors.

I decided this is the year to no longer neglect myself but to nurture my gifts (add my hair and eyebrows in there too). I have to push, motivate, and encourage myself the same way I push my children. I remember explaining to them my plan to take more time to myself and to do other things that may not include them (aside from emotional indulging of cookies, ice cream, or chocolate). In their minds the only businesses I have to take care of is pay bills and go to the grocery store to get snacks for their classrooms. Even though it’s our job as parents to make major sacrifices for our children, I want to help them understand that there will be times where I won’t be at their every beck and call. Being a stay at home mom has been a blessing. I’ve NEVER missed a moment in their lives. They’ve always had my full participation. I believe they are my greatest investments. So what happens when the Mommy who had no business gets some business? She tries to find balance. She feels guilt. All of that Kelly Price singing “IT’S MY TIME” is paused when one of the children needs her. We can’t deny that our children make us melt and it’s hard to say no to them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that just like there is nothing wrong with telling them “no” when you need to invest in yourself. I admit this is the hardest thing to do at first. This is why balance is so important. I’ll always be a Mom. I want to experience life as Candice

SUPERWOMAN SANCTUARY

23 | P a g e

the writer/blogger and blog talk radio host. Guilt had me running through the door at 7:50pm preparing to host a show that started at 8:00pm. I couldn’t miss the Kindergarten spring concert. Baby girl was so excited about singing “You Got A Friend In Me” from the movie Toy Story. Without balance, though, you can become overwhelmed and lose the joy of doing things that matter the most (to you). People without balance will fall down, and lose their mental peace on the way down. I read a quote by Jessye Norman that said says: “Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.” Of course I was not going to miss the Spring Concert; however I had to teach my children that they do not NEED me for everything. The older they get the more self-sufficient they become which can open up some extra free minutes for writing and planning shows. This is not promoting child neglect. It is possible to have a successful business and a non-chaotic household at least some of the time. I’m just encouraging you to give TO yourself just as much as you give OF yourself. Enjoy the choices you make. Balance it and keep it moving! "At the end of the day, my most important title is still MOM-in-CHIEF." Michelle Obama

Candice Payne is Blogger for the Superwoman

Sanctuary and host of The Woman Cave on

The BOLD Movers Radio Network.

FIND YOUR BALANCE

Finding Serenity With

Traci Childress

Fridays at 7:00 pm CST

The BOLD MOVERS NETWORK

Blogtalkradio.com/bold-movers-radio

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It’s Raining Style….Trench Trends

We Like

The spring 2014 New York collections are shaping up to be all about ease and elegance. “We especially loved seeing cool trench coats in soft materials and colors on the runway at Jason Wu, Michael Kors and Donna Karan. “ (thezoereport.com)

According to Plus Model Magazine.com, The classic trench coat has come a long way from its days of just being a simple black or khaki long jacket. It has been reinvented a few times and this spring, it comes in vibrant colors and prints. This spring is all about being bold and here’s a few trench coats in bold prints that will surely add some pop to any outfit you choose to pair it with.

SEPIA STYLE

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Floral Print Belted Trench from eShakti

Striped Trench Coat from Ashley Stewart

“The best thing one can do when

it's raining is to let it rain.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

SEPIA STYLE

Joe Brown’s Marvellous Floral Mac from Simply Be

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The Main Thing

Did He or Didn't He? Terri Wilson

Let me start by saying these articles are designed to make you think about the subject and

possibly say, “That doesn’t sound quite right and then go and research it for yourself. I

often tell my Ladies Class, “Don't believe me, look it up when you get a chance and see

what the Word says about it. This could very well be one of those articles for you.

Ever since we were little and going to Sunday school, we were taught Jesus was crucified

on Good Friday and rose on Easter Sunday and that was fine for us then, because the

Easter Bunny would bring us a basket of Easter candy too.

In recent years, though, there have been a few avenues of thought. There are some who

think He couldn't have been crucified on Friday and rose on Sunday. They tend to base

their thoughts on the passage of scripture from Matthew 12:40, taken from the King

James Version, where when Jesus was asked by the Pharisees about a sign He said, “For

as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly, so shall the Son of man be

three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.” There are also those who believe

time back then was not calculated like time is today and because of that, He was crucified

on Friday and rose on Sunday.

Though there is nothing impossible for God, there are some who believe from what He

said in Matthew there was no way He could have been crucified on Friday. Now

remember, we were taught they asked for His body before sundown because at sundown

the Sabbath began and it was also the beginning of a high holy day, The Feast of

Unleavened Bread.

Okay, so let’s see. From before sundown on Friday to before sundown on Saturday is one

day and before sundown on Saturday to before sundown on Sunday is two days. Oh, but

wait, the Word says in Matthew, it was “towards the dawning of the first day of the week”

when Mary brought spices to anoint His body and found the stone rolled away and the

tomb empty. To borrow a phrase, “Things that make you go hmmmmm.”

So whether or not you believe He was crucified on Wednesday, Thursday or Friday really

is not important. What IS important is that He rose and to this day stands in the gap for

us making intercession on our behalf. Be Blessed.

Terri E. Wilson is a licensed minister, a women’s coach at her church, and author.

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This would make a great Mother’s Day Gift or to wear as you walk To Find A Cure. The shirt

comes in pink and black and proceeds from the pink shirt go to the Susan B. Komen Fund for

a cure. Let’s Make A BOLD Move against cancer.

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