1.) Definition of anger or temper:

Lexical[1] meaning:The feeling one has toward something or someone that hurts, opposes, offends, or annoys, strong displeasure.(Example: In a moment of anger I hit my brother.)

Islamic definition: It is a destructive fire! Prophetic hadith: “Anger is a burning coal ...” [3]

- Anger is a secret weapon of man towards of evils, but sometimesit results in the destruction of many noble qualities. - It snatches away the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of  any sense. - Anger is a temptation and deception of Shaitân.[2]- Anger is the root of all evils.- Anger is a very bad condition that weakens the person's Imân (faith). [2]

Imam Mawlûd calls it a "swelling ocean," that is he compares it to "a swelling mass of emotion that is difficult to hold back once it is unleashed."[4] 

2.) Introduction

The Messenger of Allah, Prophet Muhammad   said:

"Whoever curbs his anger, while being able to act, Allah will fill his heart with certainty of faith."Therefore the consequence for whoever does not curb his anger is that he or she will sooner or later feel its evil consequences.

Anger is a destructive emotion, as a fire which destroys our well-being, consumes our good actions, repels our friends and dear ones, frightens our children and forces the angels to report bad actions for the Heavenly Records. This is a dangerous rough road and no-one is devoid of it and it brings one close to the wrath of Allah; story:

Prophet `Isa (Jesus Christ) -peace be upon him- was once asked: "What thing is difficult?" He said: "God's wrath." Prophet Yahya (John the Baptist) -peace be upon him- then asked: "What brings near the wrath of God?" He said: "Anger". Yahya - peace be upon him- asked him: "What thing grows and increases anger?" Isa -peace be upon him- said: "Pride, prestige, hope for honour and haughtiness." [5]

The good news is that when you are ready to confront the evil kind of anger within your soul, then you have already taken the first decisive step in fighting it. The evil kind of anger can be overcome by understanding and following the respective teachings of Islam. If you are not ready, ask yourself the test questions below.[ch.4]

3.) Clarification

Are all kinds of anger meant here always, or are there instances when anger could still be justified?Someone could say: "How do I know that my anger is not justified, when I feel strongly about it, that in certain situations I do have the right to become angry?" (As an exception there are a few instances when it is good and allowed, such as in war when fighting the enemy, but not excessive anger.)Answer: Yes, there are situations where anger is justified and lawful, as "in cases of religious affairs when one's honour is at stake. It is an effective preventive measure to safeguard the dignity of man.  A person who has no anger is called a coward because he has got no true faith in Allah.  The person fears creation and not the Creator." [2]But certainly those instances are rare, and what is worse, for a beginner in anger management (AMI) it is difficult to distinguish between those situations from the outset. Later with some success in AMI, that will be easy.We do not suggest that AMI means you never may get angry, for anger is not to abolished but channelled, and the aim is always to reach your goal with other, reliable and sane methods, in shâh Allah. But to begin with, it is vital to bring it down to lower levels, to temper it, in order to take control over it.

For the time being you should be extremely suspicious about anger in which form or situation what-so-ever. Be warned against it!

Remember that the real strength of a man lies in controlling his wrath or anger. In this respect the Islamic tradition is very clear:

It is reported in a hadith on the authority of Abu Huraira     Allah be pleased with him, that Mohammad, the emissary of Allah   peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said :"The man is not a good wrestler; the strong man is in fact the person who controls himself at the time of anger."  (Bukhari)In another hadith Abu Hurairah     (radiyallahu `anhu), reported that a man said to the Prophet   (sallallahu `alayhi wasallam): "Advise me!"The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious."

The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."[Al-Bukhari; Vol. 8 No. 137] (see hadith in Arabic at top of page.)Commenting on this hadith Al-Nawawî says that "he meant to not allow anger to lord over oneself and cause the loss of one's comportment." Instead to control your anger and never lose control. [11]

4.) Try To Get The Whole Picture - The Causes Of Anger

We are convinced that the Islamic guidance is the best guidance, also in respect of AMI, because it relates to all levels of human beings, where it operates its barakah (Divine blessings): the body (jism), the soul (nafs) and the spirit (rûh), the last being the highest element which governs the rest. Anger is one of several coarse qualities of the soul or heart, which have to be treated by Islam's spiritual methods. To treat the (spiritual) desease you have to know its causes. Imam al Ghazali explains them as follows:The causes which cause anger to grow are self-conceit, self-praise, jests and ridicule, argument, treachery, too much greed for too much wealth and name and fame. If these evils are united in a person, his conduct becomes bad and he cannot escape anger. So these things should be removed by their opposites. Self-praise is to be removed by modesty. Pride is to be removed by one's own origin and birth, greed is to be removed by remaining satisfied with necessary things, and miserliness by charity.[5]

Or summarized in four words:"Pride, prestige, hope for honour and haughtiness."[5]

The goal is to purify the heart, free it from oblivion of the rang of human beings, neglect of Allahs commands, and ... so as to reach the Divine Presence.In this context there is the Gabriel-hadith on excellence (ihsân) in Islam (as part of a longer hadith[13]): A man asked the Emissary of Allah   : "Then tell me about Ihsan." He said: "It is to worship Allah as though you are seeing Him,and while you see Him not yet — truly He sees you."Also in the Quran we are constantly reminded that Allah sees and hears us, thus watching over us all the time. Knowing this how can anyone be so carried away by his (her) passions – and devoid of godfearingness (taqwâ) to behave like an ugly, crazy person, chasing around and abusing people?

It becomes clear then that in reality anger is a secret disease, like for

example alcoholism, which has to be treated just like any other desease, and it is you yourself who has to take the decisive step to curb it, with Allah's help.In this context it is important to remember that AMI is part of a comprehensive treatment of the heart, not isolated methods.Therefore come to terms with yourself (nafs) and see your propensity toward the anger-syndrome! 

To start with ask yourself the following questions:a. Do you become angry when things are not going your way?b. Does it make you angry when something happens contrary to what you expected or what you wished for?c. When starting to get angry, did you ever become aware of how your emotions are kindled or heating up?c. When you are angry, do you say or do things which normally you would not?d. When you are angry, do you feel you have to act in a certain manner, without any control?e. Do you - after your anger has subsided - regret what you said or did, or how you appeared in front of people?

If you answered most or all of the above questions with 'yes', then you are on your way and you will easily understand the following diagrams which show the anger levels and how to curb it over time (ch.5) :

You may ask if there is anything which can be done about this problem of losing one's temper, and you may think that this is the way you are, this is your character and that a change would be impossible. But you can change andAMI was conceived to show how to succeed in dealing with this desease, once its evil roots have been understood. Then, soon, you will enjoy the sweet fruit of having overcome it. Someone[18] said in this respect, that winning over his anger is a sweet thing indeed.

5.) The Islamic Model Of Anger Management (AMI)

A visual model is employed for the description of anger over time:Here we can see a line graph (red) for the fairly common development of temper or anger, where the left, vertical axis with variable h, measures the degree of temper [ º ] and the horizontal axis measuring time in minutes [min].

graph - d1:

t1: Around t1 the level of emotion is quite normal, it is close to the "normality-level" n1, but something happened at "t2"t2: from here there is a steep increase in anger-level. Not longafter temper reaches its peak at "t3"t3: anger-level stays at that extreme level for a moment orsome minute or so, then after thist4: anger level is reduced, either more rapidly as in L1 or more slowly with others individuals as shown in L2.

The critical timespan to employ AMI is at the outset of anger at t2, and as soon as possible, this is shown in graph d2 below[graph d2]. But anytime is better than no time!

a) There are two cures, the first is the cure at the beginning of tension build-up, see graph d2:The critical area to address AMI is at the outset of anger at t2 when angel level has risen somewhat to n2 (blue line), ie. one has become angry and irritated, but still not "lost one's temper" completely.AMI has to intervene here as soon as possible, as shown in line graph d2 below. 

graph - d2:

This diagram reflects a very positiv situation, in which anger level has not been allowed to rise beyond a modest "start" at t2, instead it has been stopped completely at n2 (blue line). This is the case of a person who is able to remind him-/herself at this critical moment (t2) of his standing in front of Allah (swt), and that he will have to answer Him at That Day Of Balance for everything he has done and neglected to do, or what he said.

If this method (AMI) can be employed, it will be of great help for the time being and it will save him (or her) from the evil consequences of his temper. If he still needs more assistance - and most of us do need it dearly - check for m1 - m3 below. [ in chapter b) ].The person with such a positive reponse to anger, which we know is but the incitement of Shaitan (rajîm), can only succeed enforcing this strong kind of control if he earlier has disciplined his nafs by those many spiritual methods which are prescribed by the Islamic tradition, the obligatory, (wâjib) and the strongly recommend (the Sunnah).

b) The second cure curbing the tension of temper-build-up altogether is described in graph d3:

With given, innate levels of passion and emotion the response to anger will vary from person to person, and also from young age to mature age. Other factors also determine levels of tension generally, such as the person's living and working conditions, etc. 

For some persons it may not be possible to prevent a strong, swelling attack of anger at the outset (as described in d2) because of the above reasons, and it is very difficult especially when he /she has not internalized the islamic viewpoint [see ch. 8] that whatever happens it is

because Allah (swt) has allowed it to happen. Therefore they are in dire need of implementing the three most important islamic methods of anger management:

graph - d3:

Diagram d3 reflects a person's anger level as it rises beyond t2 to t2b (the first blue line to the left) expecting to rise to a very high level (as described above in graph - d1). Here there is very little time to stop the process, the longer one is inactive not calling upon Allah (swt) the harder it will be to stop it. When the person realizes that he is without power to counter this satanic attack, he should seek refuge with Allah Almighty and utter the words of protection. (see chapters 6 & 7b). This is the first method of AMI (m1). If he needs more input and he probably will, he should use method2 (m2) and method3 (m3). There is no way he cannot to succeed in this if he is sincere.

6.) Three Instant Methods of Anger Management

These methods go hand in hand with recognizing one's position in the sight of Allah (swt), as summarized in chapter 8.

Here we'll encourage the reader to enact the prophetic advice of anger management in his own life, and to the benefit of himself and his spiritual capability, and for the peace of his familiy and everyone else:(m1) saying the word of protection:a`ûdhû billâhi min ash-shaytân ir rajîm(m2) changing bodily posture:when angry, sit down if standing — and lie down if sitting.(m3) washing the face etc, arms, hands:make ablution with water. (see ch. 7b)

7. Medicines recommended by Imam Al-Ghazalî

 

We are describing below the medicines of anger after one gets angry. This medicine is a mixture of knowledge and action. 

7a. The medicine based on knowledge is of six kinds: (1) The first medicine of knowledge is to think over the rewards of appeasing anger, that have come from the verses of the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet  . Your hope for getting rewards of appeasing anger will restrain you from taking revenge. (2) The second kind of medicine based on knowledge is to fear the punishment of God and to think that the punishment of God upon me is greater than my punishment upon him. If I take revenge upon this man for anger, God will take revenge upon me on the Judgement Day. (3) The third kind of medicine of anger based on knowledge is to take precaution about punishment of enemity and revenge on himself. You feel joy in having your enemy in your presence in his sorrows, You yourself are not free from that danger. You will fear that your enemy might take revenge against you in this world and in the next. (4) Another kind of medicine based on knowledge is to think about the ugly face of the angry man, which is just like that of the ferocious beast. He who appeases anger looks like a sober and learned man. (5) The fifth kind of medicine based on knowledge is to think that the devil will advise by saying: " You will be weak if you do not get angry!" Do not listen to him! (6) The sixth reason is to think: " What reason have I got to get angry? What Allah wishes has occured!"

7b. The medicine based on action is of three kinds:(m1) When you get angry, say: I seek refuge in God from the accursed evil (a`ûdhû billâhi min ash-shaytân ir rajîm). The Prophet   ordered us to say thus.When Ayesha (ra) got angry, he dragged her by the nose and said: "O dear Ayesha, say: O God, you are the Lord of my prophet Muhammad, forgive my sins and remove the anger from my heart and save me from misguidance."(m2) If anger does not go away by this means, you will sit down if you are standing, lie down if you are sitting, and come near to earth, as you have been created of earth. Thus make yourself calm like the earth. The cause of wrath is heat and its opposite is to lie down on the ground and to make the body calm and cool.

The Prophet   said: Anger is a burning coal. Don't you see your eyebrows wide and eyes reddish? So when one of you feels

angry, let him sit down if standing, and lie down if sitting.(m3) If still anger does not stop, make ablution with cold water or take a bath, as fire cannot be extinguished without water.The Prophet   said : "When one of you gets angry, let him make ablution with water as anger arises out of fire."In another narration, he said: "Anger comes from the devil and the devil is made of fire." [5]

8.) Summary

AMI has to do with keeping the right balance in one's life, regarding various aspects of it, such as foodintake, sexuality, desire for position and power, and so on. Prophet Muhammad   was the best human being to keep to this balance and to be a guide of the middle way sirât-al mustaqîm, the way of moderation. Man has to balance between wrathghadab and mercy rahma, never losing sight of the religious priority of mercy over wrath or anger. [22]

For these methods or ways to become reality one has to come to forbearance and humility in all cases. This is especially clear when the issue is not to uphold the dîn (religion) of Islam, but the problem is from our expectations of the dunya or of other people. And if the defense of Islam is at stake, one must still not rush towards action under the pressure of anger, but one has to excuse oneself, first calm down and stick to what Imam Al-Ghazalî's advised the Muslims [12], who stated that anger "is acceptable only a the right time, in the right place, for the right reasons, and with the right intensity." [23]When one has internalized the islamic viewpoint that whatever happens is because Allah (swt) has allowed it to happen and then also by knowing oneself, one can strive to rid oneself from selfcenteredness and egotism, for in the words of S. Ahmad Zarrûq, "people are filled with themselves". With the help of Allah, one will be able to let go of what ultimately is beyond our restriced, illusory domain of power, and arrive step-by-step at a control of one's anger by understanding the rule of "the right time, in the right place, for the right reasons, and with the right intensity." With the whole effectiveness and barakah (heavenly powers) of the Islamic way - living Islam -, one will by Allah's leave (bi-idhni-LLah) win over this nafs ( an-nafs al-ammara bi-ssu' ) [26] - this soul commanding us to do evil - and taste the sweet taste of victory over one's worst enemy.

To become aware of oneself is a step towards knowing oneself, and according to a famous saying in Islam, whoever knows himself he knows his Lord. [27]

9.) Story Of `Ali (kAw)* Not Acting On Anger

There is a famous story about `Ali (karrama-llâhu wajhahu) according to which he was fighting against a disbeliever and had the intention of killing him due to al bughd fi Allah (hatred for the sake of Allah). After `Ali (karrama-llâhu wajhahu) subdued him and sat on his chest with the intention of killing him, the man spat on his face. `Ali (karrama-llâhu wajhahu) at once let him go. The man was amazed and said, "You should have become even more angry due to my spitting at you and should have hastened in killing me. Why did you spare me?" `Ali (karrama-llâhu wajhahu) replied, "Due to this action of yours mynafs became involved and my intention did not remain purely for the sake of Allah."The light of sincerity had such a cleansing effect that it purged the impurities and kufr of the disbeliever's heart, and he recited the kalima(profession of faith) at once, and became Muslim. [28]

INTRODUCTION

Today my essay ( madmoom) is about ANGER. you will read on to find out what anger is and to see if ANGER is lawful or not . The aim and objective to read this essay is to practice what you learn and follow the way shown by our

beloved Prophet Muhammad (  ) and not to become angry. I started this  madmoom of by expaining what is anger and at end is a conclusion about anger. May ALLAH  give everyone the ability to practice's upon what we read and give everyone jannat (paradise) Back

WHAT IS ANGER? Anger is a secret weapon of man towards of evils but sometimes its result’s in the destruction of many noble qualities. It snatches away the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of  any sense. Anger is a temptation of shaytaan and deception of shaytaan Anger is the root of all evils. Anger is a spark of fire that are always bursting. Anger is a very bad condition that weakens the person Iman (FAITH) The meaning of anger is a rage fierce, displeasure, passion excited by a sense of wrong , physical pain, inflammation, mad, hot tempered, choleric, inflamed, A

violent passion excited by real or supposed injury. Anger is the strong feeling caused by extreme displeasure. Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure and hostility.                                                                                                                                                                   Back ANGER AND WRATH.

When someone is angry, mad, and reaches a state of having wrath against any person, he should make a special Du'a. In doing so he will cool down . It is reported that the Messenger of Allah    said ( narrated by Sulaiman Ibn Sard and reported by Bukhari and Muslim ) that while Sulaiman was  with the

Prophet (  ), two persons were blaming each other. The face of one became

red and his jugular veins swelled. the Prophet (  ) said. I know a statement if he or she say's it then the person with anger will cool down. The person with anger  should say :  "I  SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM SATAN THE OUTCAST."

IS ANGER LAWFUL OR NOT ?                                                                                                                                                                     Back Anger is lawful in cases of religious affair's when its honours are at stake. It is an effective preventive measure to safeguard the dignity of man.  A person who has no anger is called a coward because he has got no true faith in Allah.  The person fears the creation and not the creator. This doesn't give the right for youngsters to become angry with parents when they don't get what they want. If a person doesn't practice Islam, a person disobeys the command of Allah or a person doesn't listen to his parents then to become angry with such a person can be lawful.   But the person shouldn't become too angry because in Islam extreme anger is unlawful because it creates opposition and bitterness. It is undesirable for a pious man to lose his temper, due to jokes, frivolous talks, quarrels, criticism and greed for wealth. The real strength of a man lies in controlling his wrath. i.e. Anger. It is reported in a Hadith on the authority of Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased

with him) that the messenger of Allah (Mohammed (  ) Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him said :

 "The man is not a good wrestler; the strong man is in fact the person who controls himself at the time of anger."

the above Hadith is stated in Bukhari. Anger is unlawful because it destroys the faith of a man. Bah bin hakim (Allah be please with him) Reported that the messenger of Allah  (peace and blessing

of Allah be upon him) . Said: Verily anger spoil's faith just as aloes spoils honey . It is stated in Bukhari.:

" A person should be cautious from being angry."B ack

It has been narrated by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) That

Allah's  Messenger Muhammad (  ) Said:

 “ The strong is not the one who over comes the people by his strength” "But the strong is the one who controls him while in anger."

In another narration by Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him man said

to the Prophet Muhammad (  ) Advise me. 

The Prophet Muhammad ( ). Said :

" Do not become angry  “

The man asked the same question again and again and the Prophet Muhammad

( ) Replied by in case by saying:

 “ Do not become angry and furious”

Back

By looking from the advise given by our beloved Prophet Muhammad ( ) we shouldn't become anger and furious. If we remember the advise and saying of

our beloved Prophet Muhammad (   )then the person becoming angry will control his anger.     But the youngster today have forgotten the teaching of our Prophet

Muhammad  ( ) there  become angry  and furious for small reason like if their parent tell them to do something which their donut like there say to the parent in anger that I donut what to do it like cleaning  the house or the toilet. So the best person is one who controls him self in anger.

Hadrat Anas: (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the messenger of Allah

( Muhammad(  )  said:  Who so takes up his tongue as treasure Allah will keep his secrets concealed  and who so restrains his anger Allah will with hold his punishment on the resurrection day and who so ascribes excuse to Allah will accept his excuse. 

So by reading this we should refrain from becoming  anger. Because anger destroys one faith. The person in anger forgets where he is and says anything which he regrets after.                                                                                                                                                             Back  Today people are becoming angry because of the lifestyle and the society we live in. When a person is under stress he or she tends to become angry because the jobs not done or their  children donut listen  to them. There become angry  and the  anger is taken out on the child. When a person becomes angry to their parent then that mean he's angry  with Allah Paradise lies between your parent . If you treat them and help them then Allah will reward you in this world and the hereafter. But if you displeased your parent this  means you are displeasing Allah then the person will be deprived from Allah's mercy. and the person will get punish in the hereafter. The aim and objective of reading this is to practice what has been written and refine from becoming angry. To become angry for Islamic reason is permissible but it shouldn't cause anyone harm. Women should control their anger. because anger effects everyone. So anger is lawful for islamic reason and if ones hourner is at risk's.Other then this Anger is not permissible.                                                                                                                                                             Back

AT THE TIME OF ANGER

As humans beings, we have our our emotions. We react in either positive or negative emotions. Sometimes we may lose our logic and we cannot control our emotions. Hence, we behave in a strange way. For those who lose control of their emotions and react negatively they have to

be advised in advance what to do in such  a situation. Our beloved Prophet () gave us a prescription that makes us control our negative behavior. By using it, we will not show our anger and madness . Our blood pressure will stay normal. All what it takes is that a person has to read the following statement at the time of anger and wrath.:

                         " I  SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH FROM THE OUTCAST SHAITAN "

 ( THE WORD YOU HAVE TO READ IS IN ARABIC AND IT IS TAW'WAZ.)                                Back

From a personal experience, dealing with children fighting one another and with family counselling, this prescription has worked beautifully. I enencourage that we recite it loudly for at least three times at the time of anger . Allah will send special angels to protect us from the mischievous Shaitan. Remember what Allah said in Surah Fussilat

              ( This surah is in the 24th parah Ayat 36 in the holy Qur'ran ) the meaning is  below ( Ayah 36):

         " AND IF AN EVIL WHISPER FROM SHAITAN ( SATAN) TRIES TO

TURN YOU AWAY ( OH MUHAMMAD( ) ( FROM DOING GOOD ), THEN SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH. VERILY, HE IS THE        ALL-HEARER, THE ALL- KNOWER "                                                                                                                                                                Back So the best person is one who controls him self in anger.  When a person is angry he should make wudu (Ablution ) ) and then he should recite the verses from the Holy Qur'ran  the anger should have gone away. The person should prey Taw'waz (aeo zo billahi mnashayta nirazam) and then prey ( Ayatul kursi) which is in the Holy Qur'ran . ( 3rd para 2nd ruku  ) Every person male or female should try to recite the Holy Qur'ran everyday because by reciting the Holy Qur'ran it takes away the anger and the heart will become clean. Anger effects everyone it doesn't matter if the person is young, old, male, and female. So one should try to control one’s anger. There is a great reward given to the person who controls his anger. May Allah give eveyone  the abilty to practices upon the Qur'ran and the way

shown by our Prophet Muhammad ( ).                                                                                                                                                                   Back 

SAYING OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD (  ) ABOUT ANGER.

Allah's Messenger (  )Said  a Muslim is never allowed to stay angry with his Muslim brother over three day's , because he who does that, then dies will go to hell ( FIRE ) . ( This is reported by Abu Dawood )  (Sahih Al - Jami ) ( page 7609).

The messenger of Allah (Prophet Muhammad (  says about anger: “ Anger is the effect of shaytaan and shaytaan was created from fire. And water extinguishes fire." 

It is narrated in Bukhari that two people were arguing in the presence of

Rasulullah (  ) One of the two became so angry that his face went red and his

veins swelled.  Rasulullah ( )  Lifted his face towards that person and said to him that I know a sentence if you were to say it your anger will go away. The sentence is ( taw’wz ). The translation is as follows:

                       “ I SEEK ALLAH'S PROTECTION FROM THE CURSED DEVIL"                                                                                                                                                                    Back THE VIRTUES OF CONTROLLING ONES ANGER.

There are many virtues in Ahadeeth recarding a person who controls his anger.

In Tabraani . ( A book of Hadeeth ). It is narrated that Rasulullah (  ) Said : Who ever controls there temper Allah will take away punishment from him and who so ever safe guard's his tongue Allah will conceal his sins. In another Hadeeth which is narrated in  (Tirmizi and Abu Dawood):

Rasulullah( ) Who ever controls their temper in a state that if he wanted he could have took revenge. Then On the day of judgement Allah will call him in front of everyone and will give him the choice of picking the Hoor of his choice.  So by controlling your anger Allah will give the choice of picking any Hoor from  Paradise (Jannat). But today youngsters have forgotten the world hear after and there are to indulge in this world that we have forgotten the

command of Allah and the way shown by our beloved Prophet Muhammad () so from now on we should change our lifestyle. And we should live our life according to the way shown by our beloved Prophet 

Muhammad ( ). because success in this world and the hereafter lies in the

command of Allah and the way shown by our beloved Prophet Muhammad.(). May Allah gives us the ability to practice upon this ( Aamin ).                                                                                                                                                                            Back THE REMEDY FOR ANGER SHOWN BY OUR PROPHET

MUHAMMAD ( ) . The remedy for anger is that when a person who is angry should control his anger . In the Ahadith there are three way's shown to control ones Anger. 1). is to say Ta'awwuz                                    2). is to doWudu (Abulution ) or drink water.                                    3). is to lie down on the floor

So when a person becomes angry he should perform ablution. Then the person should lie down because when a person is lying he becomes humble because this is the quality of the earth due to it being low and not bursting. This is the opposite to fire which is the origin of shaytaan which results to pride. When a person is lying down he is far from revenge and retaliation then a person who is sitting is further then the one who is standing. In reality anger is a spark of fire and its flames are always bursting. The cure is that you extinguish                           Back The fire with water so that the evilness doesn't spread. i.e. by water it means to make wudu(Ablution). The person who is angry should make wudu.then the person should recite the verses from the Holy Qur'ran which is (AYAH KURSI ) which is in the (3rd para, 2nd ruku). by reciting the Holy Qur'ran the person with anger it will cool him down because Anger is from shaytaan. The person who is angry should be left alone to cool down and the above remedy should be practice's.The anger should go away. In the state of anger one should use the above mentioned remedy so that he doesn't regret later.                                                                                                                                                                             Back CONCLUSION

Today I have written about anger and if anger is permissible or not. Anger is only permissible for Islamic reason other then that anger is not permissible. Anger effects everyone weather Young old male or female.Our beloved

Prophet Muhammad ( ) has shown us a way to control ones anger so when someone is angry he should follow the three way's shown in the Hadith.

The three way's shown in the ahaadith  to control you temper and anger.is the following.:

NUMBER ONE : (1) To say ta'awuz.

NUMBER TWO : (2) To do wudu or drink water.

NUMBER THREE : (3) To lie down on the floor.                                                                                    Back

The above is the remedy for anger. Its like a person  is ill he takes medicine to get better . Like this when a person is angry he or she should take the medicine

givin by our Prophet Muhammad (  ) . May Allah give every person the ability to practice's upon this . ( Aamin).

Whosoever adopts these three qualities in his life Allah will shower his mercy upon him . 1) Who thanks Allah for all his favour's. 2) When he has the strength to to forgive he forgives. 3) when he gets Angry he stay's quite and calms down.

So by looking at the Hadith's mention above we could see that the effect of being anger is a bad thing the person is deprived of many benefits in this world and the hear after Just by controlling your anger Allah will give the person the pleasure of picking a hoor from Jannat. (Paradise) Anger is a very bad condition it destroy the person Iman (FAITH) Anger is a cause of temptation and deception of shaytaan so every person should not show Anger to anyone. There's more harm in becoming angry and not controlling the anger. A person control his anger Allah will give him a choice of any Hoor from Jannet (paradise). This is the reward given by Allah to the person who control his anger so may Allah give everyone the ability to control our anger and save us from this satanic effects. May Allah forgive our sin’s and give everyone the ability to practice Islam and the straight path 

The path shown by our prophet Muhammad.( )

Anger Management Tips

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody"s power and is not easy."- Aristotle

What is Anger?Anger is a natural emotion. It's nature's way of telling us that something in our lives has gone haywire. Anger occurs as a defensive response to a perceived attack or threat to our well-being. In addition to psychological changes, like any emotion, anger is accompanied by physiological changes. When you get angry your adrenaline flows, your heart rate increases, and your blood pressure

escalates. The phrase, "I'm so mad my blood is boiling" isn't that far from true when you fly into a rage!

Sometimes just our perception of a situation causes anger to ignite and sometimes the threat may be real. Whatever the case, anger isn't the problem. The problem with anger is that many of us don't learn to manage anger effectively. In fact, one out of five Americans has an anger management problem.

Domestic abuse, road rage, workplace violence, divorce, and addictions are a few of the external examples of the results of poor anger management. Moreover, anger can lead to physical problems when not properly managed. Long-term anger has been linked to chronic headaches, sleep disorders, digestive problems, high blood pressure, and even heart attack.

Yet, when you learn how to manage anger, it can be an accelerant towards positive change instead of a negative propeller towards disaster.

The Sequence of AngerAnger is usually "triggered" by an occurrence, like stubbing your toe on an inanimate object or by something that someone says. Next, you think something like "what did I do to deserve that". However, at this point, emotion takes over your mind and the "pain" of the situation leads you to believe the answer to your question is "Nothing. I didn't deserve that at all!" Feelings of hurt and betrayal further try to override logic and you're ready to act on your anger by either suppressing it or expressing it.

Suppressing your anger may lead you to believe you have it under control. However, suppressing anger doesn't solve your problem and is a dangerous type of anger management. Suppressed anger stays with you over time and can lead to mental health problems like depression, and physical problems like "stress" headaches and high blood pressure. Additionally, continually suppressing your anger can curtail your ability to act in the face of a real threat to your well-being.

Anger needs to be expressed. Yet, aggressive displays of anger can result in violent eruptions that further hurt you socially, mentally, and physically. The goal of anger management is to help you find healthy ways to express your anger and resolve the problems that ignite it. The first step in anger management is learning to define the problem and face it head on!

Anger Management Tips

Find a safe spot. Yelling at friends or family members, slamming doors, and breaking crockery doesn't solve any problem and frequently escalates angry situations between people. Yet, sometimes you just need to vent. Finding a safe spot to act our your anger can relieve the majority of your stress, calming you enough to solve the real problem at hand. Go to a basement room and scream your head off! Take an empty jar to your basement and break it, (remember to sweep up when you're done). Stomp on a few aluminum cans. Throw a tennis ball at the garage wall. Buy a punching bag.

Breath Deep. Anger often begins when we feel weaker than we really are. Molehills loom like mountains. Taking a few deep breaths calms you, makes you feel stronger both mentally and physically, and can cut those mountains down to size!

Count to ten. Sounds simple, but counting to ten is an anger management tip that has worked for centuries! The Roman poet Horace (65 - 8 BCE) said, "When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, one hundred." Counting to ten (or one hundred) helps you to step back from the situation, buys time for you to examine the problem and decide on an effective, rational way to express your anger.

Give yourself a break. It's easier to think when you're calm than when you're agitated. Leave the room, take a walk, 'whistle a happy tune'. Then come back to the problem, examine it, and solve it.

Look for the sweet spot. Learn to act and not react. Although every cloud doesn't have a silver lining, when life hands you a lemon, you can make lemonade and when you get angry, you can find a positive way to express it!

Anger Management Techniques

One of the greatest detriments of anger is that it makes us feel helpless and out of control. Anger management techniques aren't meant to eliminate your anger. Anger management techniques put you in charge of the situation and teach you how to make your anger work for you.

When we take the attitude that "there's no time like the present" to vent our anger and "let it rip", anger often tears huge holes in the fabric of our lives, dropping us down the rabbit hole with no way up! Anger management techniques help you learn to express your anger in constructive ways and sew up your problems before you find yourself trying to mend fences instead.

Silly mental pictures can help diffuse anger in many situations.

Anger Management Technique #1: Accentuate the positive.Your partner or spouse is late again and it's making you mad as a hatter. Picture yourself at the "Mad Hatter's tea party", the White Rabbit making his entrance "I'm late - I'm always late". Surely, the Cheshire cat's smile is growing in the background as the angry dormouse shrinks back into the teapot! Why? Because your partner's tardiness just bought you some extra time!

Use the time to file your nails, read that magazine article you don't have time to read, file your nails, check your e-mail...

Anger Management Technique #2: Put your anger on hold.Your partner arrives an hour late and full of excuses. You've managed to stay reasonably calm, but you can see your anger rearing its head. Say, "I know White Rabbit. Let's talk about it later and smile! You are still in control of your emotions and the situation; that's what's important. Timing is often critical to keeping anger at bay. Don't discuss issues when you're tired, or the situation has already made you irritable. Do choose a time to find solutions to problems; just make it when you can talk rationally and comfortably - when you can stay in control.

Anger Management Technique #3: Let humor calm you down.

Ex: Another driver "cuts you off" in traffic. Break it down to the ridiculous. Lean back in your seat and take a deep breath. Breathe a sigh of relief that you at least still have your legs! Picture how silly you must look to other drivers, tooling down the road in your "cut off" vehicle. Parallel parking will sure be a breeze now, won't it?

Anger Management Technique #4: Don't react to anger - respond.A major anger management technique is in changing the way you think and learning to respond to anger instead of reacting to it. Reacting to anger is a learned, impulsive behavior that becomes instinctive. Responding to anger allows you to examine various solutions and gives you the opportunity to choose the one that works the best for you.

Anger Management Technique #5: Take care of you.

Make personal time each day to reflect on issues and consider solutions to problems.

Work for balance in your life. Try to leave work problems at work and personal problems at home.

Although we tend to often separate mind and body, they work together to make each of us into one unique being. Regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep are as essential to your emotional health as they are to your physical well-being.

Anger Management Technique #6: Don't look back, move forward.Yelling, "This blasted machine never works!" doesn't make the machine work. "You're always late!" doesn't change what happened in the past and makes no plans for change in the future, except maybe for a destroyed friendship. When you put the lid on past problems, you free up time now to find solutions for current and future problems - anger management techniques to secure the lid on that grumpy dormouse!

Anger Management for Children

Anger management clearly needs to be a priority for raising our children.

Research from the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons and the New York State Psychiatric Institute indicates that child behavior problems are omens of adult partner violence as are severe punishment (abuse) and childhood exposure to abusive relationships between adults.

Another study, completed in 2000, rated childhood tantrums and irritability for children born in 1970. However, the most remarkable information the study uncovered is that children who had been consistently angry in childhood were more likely to be unsatisfied with life at age 30.

The best anger management strategy for children is for you, as a parent, to be a good role model; to familiarize yourself with anger management tips, strategies, and techniques that both help you to cope with the stresses of modern day living as well as being anger management tools to share with your children.

Experts also suggest that to be most effective, anger management for children needs to be implemented before adolescence. Additionally, when a child learns to control his/her anger in pre-teen years, parents reap the benefit of a calmer environment during the child's adolescence!

Anger Management for Infants?When my daughter was an infant, she frequently woke in a rage, stiffening her body and screaming uncontrollably. When she could stand, she actually threw

herself from her crib. Our pediatrician suggested we put her on a blanket in the middle of the floor in a child-safe place and walk away.

One of the hardest things a parent has to do is walk away from a raging child, but it worked. Within just a few days, the rages stopped and our daughter was safe and happy! Her "floor" blanket became one of her favorite friends, which caused me to wonder if Peanuts' Linus had the same problem as an infant.

Unconditional Love - An Exquisite Anger Management Strategy for ChildrenA father in a supermarket displayed a beautiful expressions of unconditional love that taught bystanders a valuable lesson in anger management for children. His pre-school daughter fell to the floor kicking and screaming in every parent's nightmare, a full-blown in-store temper tantrum. The man scooped the child into his arms and held her to his chest, his strong arms crossed over her small frame as she continued to flail violently against him. He didn't say a word; he just held her close and in moments, the child was at peace. The strength of her father's love alone seemed to calm her.

Helping Children Learn Anger ManagementIt's important for parents to remember that their children spend just as much time learning about themselves as they do learning about the world around them. Although children need to know that anger is a natural, healthy emotion, they also need to learn that like other emotions - love, sadness, joy - anger needs to be expressed appropriately.

The steps in helping your children learn to manage their anger are the same as the steps for adults. Give them anger management tips for soothing their anger, help them find strategies to stay calm, and teach them techniques for constructively expressing their anger.

The first step in anger management for children is to help your children understand when anger begins. Alert them to the physical symptoms of mounting anger.

Anger makes you breathe faster. Anger makes your face turn red. Anger makes your muscles tense and your skin feel tight.

Anger Management Tips for Children

1. Help children calm down and refocus. Take a deep breath and count to ten. If you're still angry, count further or count backwards from 10 to one.

2. Give them alternatives to anger.o If a school assignment is too hard, don't get angry; get help from a

parent or teacher.o Get a hug... or give one when you feel angry.

3. Sometimes children can't put their anger into words. Give them some crayons and let them put it on paper. Draw a picture of why you're angry (or a picture of anger)

4. Work off your child's angero Treat your child to a pillow fighto Buy them a punch dollo Take them for a walk or bike ride (Don't let angry children ride

through the streets alone!)5. Reward your child with your attention when they control their anger. Go

outside and run around the house five times fast. We'll talk when you come back in!

Finally, tell your child that everyone (even you) gets angry. Part of being a good role model is letting your children know that you are susceptible to anger, too. Let your child know about a time when you were angry and anger management helped you successfully resolve the problem in a positive way.

Eight Simple Anger Management TipsBy David Leonhardt

"The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:

Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible. Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course. Anger reduces our social skills, compromising other relationships, too. Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships. Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood. Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger). We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process

information.

People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management skills and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.

Develop your anger management skills

For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #1Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #2Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #3Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #4Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #5Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #6Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm -- helps people relax.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #7Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream", or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.

ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #8Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.

One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.

If these tips do not help and you still feel you lack sufficient anger management skills, you might need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.

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