top tips for active listening
Post on 05-Dec-2014
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@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Top Tips for
Active Listening
Dr Pooky Knightsmith
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
When I ask young people about how
their parents or teachers can help them
to overcome their difficulties, the answer
that always comes out on top is:
LISTEN!
So here are a few ideas to make sure
you’re listening as effectively as
possible.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
No Time Pressure
Don’t sit down to talk unless you’ve got
time to listen. If you can’t listen now,
arrange to sit down and talk later and
explain why. Needing to leave just as a
child starts opening up is bad news all
round.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
No Distractions
Give the child your full attention by
ensuring you have no distractions. Turn your phone and
computer screen off and try to avoid
people interrupting you by asking not to
be disturbed if possible.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Body Language
Think carefully about the story that your
body is telling. Try to make the child feel
comfortable by uncrossing your
arms and legs and relaxing your hands.
Nod and smile to encourage them.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Show You’re Listening
As well as smiling and nodding, make
listening noises (‘uhuh’ ‘hmmm’)
every now and then to encourage the child to continue
talking.
Uhuh….
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Reflect
Periodically reflect and summarise what has been been said. This both shows that you’ve been paying attention and gives
you a chance to clarify any
misunderstandings.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Talk Minimally
The child should be doing most of the talking – if you’re talking more than
20% of the time then try to redress the balance by asking open questions to
encourage the child to explore their
feelings.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Physical Barriers
Make the child feel relaxed and like
there are no barriers to conversation by removing yourself
from a situation where furniture forms physical
barriers – such as a desk in-between you.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Don’t Guess
We can be guilty of hearing what we expect to hear.
Remain open minded and ensure that you
hear what the student actually has
to say, rather than what you expect
them to say.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com pooky@inourhands.com
Summary
No Time Pressure
No Distractions
Body Language
Show You’re Listening
Reflect
Talk Minimally
Physical Barriers
Don’t Guess
Need more support?
Dr Pooky Knightsmith specialises in mental health and emotional
well-being in the school setting. She can provide training sessions
or workshops for school staff, parents or students on a variety of
topics, including self-harm, anxiety, body image and eating
disorders.
For further information and free resources visit
www.inourhands.com
Email: pooky@inourhands.com
Twitter: @PookyH
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/pooky
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