empathy for idiots

© 2014 Phase2

Empathy For Idiots: Becoming a Better Partner

For Your Clients

9 November 2014

BADCamp 2014

© 2014 Phase2

Who Are Clients?

● “Traditional” clients: work-for-hire● Ongoing partnerships● Stakeholders in an internal organization● Customers

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“My Clients Are…”

● Idiots● Incompetent● Difficult● Insane● Frustrating● Toxic● Demanding● Confused● Always Mad● Jerks● A**holes

© 2014 Phase2 Q*Bert © Gottlieb

© 2014 Phase2

Your Clients Actually...

● Human beings● Are dealing with problems you may never have considered● Have skills and knowledge that you don’t● Have a better understanding of their business than you

● (Maybe still kind of difficult)

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What Would We Like?

● Less stress, better relationships● To get it right the first time● Better insight for better recommendations● Trust and further engagement

Empathy can help us achieve these goals.

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Empathy For Idiots?

Image copyright © 2014 Matthew Inman. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell

© 2014 Phase2

Empathy For Idiots?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/kevinmarsh/5903424338

https://www.flickr.com/photos/kevinmarsh/5903424338

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What Is Empathy?

© 2014 Phase2 https://www.flickr.com/photos/thatgirlcrystal/6660793217

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Sympathy

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Empathy

https://www.flickr.com/photos/49333775@N00/3775013030

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● Seeing and respecting others’ perspectives● Staying out of judgement● Recognizing emotion in others● Communicating emotion and understanding

Four Qualities of Empathy

Wiseman, T. (1996), A concept analysis of empathy. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 23: 1162–1167. doi: 10.1046/j.1365-2648.1996.12213.x

© 2014 Phase2

© 2014 Phase2

How Can We Develop Empathy?

© 2014 Phase2

● Sometimes the best thing you can do is be quiet.

● Use leading questions.

Observe: Listen

https://www.flickr.com/photos/alancleaver/4102645583/

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● Meditation can be helpful.

● Learn to see your reactions as your own thoughts and feelings.

Observe: Know Yourself

https://www.flickr.com/photos/andrewmorrell/74859482

© 2014 Phase2

● Don’t limit yourself to ideas you already agree with.

● Make sure you diversify who you interact with.

Observe: Understand Diversity

https://www.flickr.com/photos/librarianbyday/4301281196/

© 2014 Phase2

● Relationship communication technique

● Reword the other party’s statement back to them

Communicate: Restate

© Tom Gauld

© 2014 Phase2

● Often the listener tries to help.○ It’s not so bad...○ Look on the bright side..○ Why don’t you try…?

Communicate: Don’t Invalidate

https://www.flickr.com/photos/librarianbyday/4301281196/

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Empathy in Action

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Get to Know Your Clients

https://www.flickr.com/photos/lenartney/4466889242

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© 2014 Phase2

© 2014 Phase2

© 2014 Phase2

Example: Carousels

http://shouldiuseacarousel.com/

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Example: Carousels

http://shouldiuseacarousel.com/

© 2014 Phase2

Example: Your Product Owner

https://www.flickr.com/photos/joepemberton/2886313920/

© 2014 Phase2

Example: Your Product Owner

https://www.flickr.com/photos/joepemberton/2886313920/

© 2014 Phase2

Example: Your Product Owner

● Questions that most people are most engaged in are:○ What should I be afraid of?○ Who’s to blame?

“Blame is a discharge of pain and discomfort and doesn’t have to do with accountability.” - Dr. Brené Brown

© 2014 Phase2

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

- not Plato

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Example: Getting It Right

http://www.paragoninnovations.com/guide.shtml

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Example: Getting It Right

“We don’t give the client what they want;we give the client what they need.”

-Every arrogant, obnoxious web agency ever

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Example: Building Trust

https://www.flickr.com/photos/extraface/2108370738/

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Example: Building Trust

● Grow over time from a services provider to a “trusted advisor”

● Client trust can make or break an engagement

© 2014 Phase2

Empathy in Other Areas

© 2014 Phase2

● UX is empathy as a discipline

● RWD keeps in mind other perspectives and views

● David Spira, “Amazing Design Through Empathy”

Empathy in Design

http://video.mit.edu/watch/amazing-design-through-empathy-28688/

© 2014 Phase2

● RWD● Performance

optimization● Cross-browser testing● Developing for

accessibility

Empathy in Development

http://www.slideshare.net/Phase2Technology/drupal-camp-accessibility-presentation-2013

© 2014 Phase2

● Diversity in teams increases empathy & performance

Empathy in Teams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aASxkeUwTqA

© 2014 Phase2

Tim CosgroveSoftware Architect

@timcosgrove / timcosgrove@D.O. / timcosgrove@github

© 2014 Phase2

Questions? Thoughts? Feelings?

© 2014 Phase2