a peer's draft i reviewed
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India Sierra Muse
Instructor: Malcolm Campbell
English 1102
9-22-13
Thin and Thinner: Medias affect on body image of young females of America
In the United States body image is controlled and rendered only by the media. There is
always a very popular celebrity on the front of magazines, in a advertising commercial, or even
the star of a new movie. Many of them advertise weight loss and how to obtain the ideal body.
Your Health Today says that body image is a mental representation that a person has of his or her
own body, including, attitudes, thoughts, and emotions. The thin body type is glamorized in
social media and most of the time consumers buy into what the advertising industry is selling.
Little do these companies know is that they are affecting our youth in a negative way. Young
girls are comparing themselves to these celebrities, models, and actresses in hopes of meeting the
standards of society. While trying to compare themselves these young girls are suffering from
low self esteem and disorderly eating/ eating disorders.
In The Media
The ideal body image is portrayed in the media on a daily basis. Girls view these images
in movies, the news, internet, TV shows, and magazines at an average of 400-600 times a day.
The idealized model is often white, tall, thin, and has blonde hair. Research has shown that many
Muse
eed a sentence or two beforeis to draw the reader in maybe?
omething that will really catche readers attention rather thanst starting with a fact aboutody image in the US.
OWERFUL
eally like how your paper isell organized, it allows theader to understand each aspect
ou are trying to speak aboutdividually.
aybe think of a moreaptivating title, I like the thinnd thinner part, but maybe thinkf something more than themedias a!ect of body image onoung females of America.
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of the models shown on television, advertisements, and in other forms of popular media are
approximately 20% below ideal body weight. These women meet the diagnostic criteria for
anorexia nervosa and often suffer from bulimia (Dittmar & Howard, 2004). These girls accept
the fact that they are not as beautiful as the woman on the cover of the magazine. Society makes
them believe that thats what they need to look like. Since the 1950s the ideal body image of the
United States has become thinner with the growth of feminism and the way women are
portrayed. In the early 1920s women were advertised fully clothed and showed very little skin.
Over time women began to show more skin which led to the ideal body of a thinner woman.
Dove Commercials and Low Self Esteem
At a very young age we begin to compare ourselves to other people. We become aware
that we do not look like everyone else around us. Many of these young females want to be
accepted among other children their age. Dove has created the Dove Self Esteem Fund in order
to let girls know that they are beautiful the way they are. They have produced many films that
express the views of young teenage girls on the way they view their own bodies. In these films
they express the way other classmates view them such as calling them anorexic, fat, and ugly.
One girl that stood out the most was the girl that was hospitalized after losing so much weight in
the 9th grade. When she was in the 8th grade she was larger and over the summer she lost weight
due to being picked on. As a result people started talking to her and wanted to be her friend. She
felt accepted and was influenced that what she was doing to her body was okay.
According to Striegal-Moore and Franko, females are more common to experience
dissatisfaction of their physical appearance than males. At a young age studies have found that
Muse
ho are Striegal-Moore andanko?
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nearly half of girls aging 6-8 reported wanting to be slimmer. They remain caution of what they
eat in fear of unwanted weight gain. It is true that both females and males can be discouraged of
what they look like but eating and mental disorders are more common in females.
Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders
Many young girls suffer from disordered eating and eating disorders. Disordered eating is
classified as restrictive dieting, skipping meals, binge eating and purging, laxative abuse, and
other eating behaviors that are unhealthy to the body. If continued, disordered eating can turn
into an eating disorder. According to Your Health Today, an eating disorder is a chronic illness
that jeopardizes physical and mental health in which they can be life threatening. Examples of
common eating disorders are anorexia, binge eating, bulimia. With the new release of The
American Psychiatric Association's book of mental disorders, binge eating has now been
classified as a mental disorder in the same category as anorexia and bulimia (Masterson). Binge
Eating is the act of obsessive eating, eating when you're not hungry and feeling disgusted and
depressed afterward. These eating disorders are very common in young women ranging from
ages 14-25 and come from the inner feelings towards how they physically look, and not wanting
to eat. The act of not eating and forcing themselves to vomit is how they neglect their bodies.
Conclusion
In conclusion societies view on body image decreases the self esteem of young girls.
They compare themselves to the idealized women that are seen everyday nationwide. The act of
social media creating and idealizing the thin body type, has not only affected the physical body
Muse
reat facts, I think if youanted to include an image inour paper, somewhere in thisaragraph dealing with eatingsorders, I think it would beally powerful.
aybe go more into detailere about HOW young girls are!ected and maybe give someore example(s) of what Dove isoing to try to help. But I do likeow you included Dove to showe positive side of this issue andat someone is trying to help.
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but also the mental aspect of young girls. This unrealistic body shape is said to be unachievable
and very unhealthy to the human body and mind. The discovery of eating and mental disorders
has brought questions to what the social media is really doing to our youth. These young girls
then take it upon themselves to obtain that weight or look. We as a nation need to decrease the
levels of dissatisfaction of these young girls by creating more campaigns like Dove. If the self
esteem of these girls rises the percentage of eating disorders will decrease. It is just a matter of
educating these girls to let them know that they are perfect how they are and that everybody is
different.
Muse
few grammatical errors, butothing major.
ood :)
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Sources
-Teague, Michael L., Sara L. C. Mackenzie, and David M. Rosenthal. "Body Image."Your Health
Today: Brief. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2009. 169-86. Print.
-"General Information | National Eating Disorders Association." General Information | National
Eating Disorders Association. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Sept. 2013.
-"The Eating Disorder Foundation." The Eating Disorder Foundation. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Sept.
2013.
-"Dove - Real Esteem." YouTube. YouTube, 24 Oct. 2006. Web. 24 Sept. 2013.
-"A Dove Film - Girl's Self-esteem." YouTube. YouTube, 09 Oct. 2006. Web. 22 Sept. 2013.
-Dittmar, H., & Howard, S. (2004). Professional hazards? The impact of models' body size on
advertising effectiveness and women's body-focused anxiety in professions that do and do not
emphasize the cultural ideal of thinness. British Journal of Social Psychology, 43(4), 477-497.
-Masterson, Kathleen. "Binge Eating Officially Defined As A Mental Disorder." NPR. NPR, 10
Feb. 2010. Web. 14 Oct. 2013.
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-Striegel-Moore, R. H., & Schreiber, G. B. (2000). Eating disorder symptoms in a cohort of 11 to
16-year-old black and white girls: International Journal of Eating Disorders, 27(1), 49-66.
Muse
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Peer Review: Kimberlyn Wayland
-What works well: I really like the structure of your paper and how it is organized,
it allows the reader to fully understand each part you are trying to speak about. I
think you made a lot of great points, including the source of negative body image
(the media),detrimental effects of negative body image (disordered eating/eating
disorders) and what is trying to be done about it (Dove). I think your paper is laid
out really well structurally and flows very nicely.
-Where you might want to reconsider your approach: I think you are getting
somewhere with your title with the Thin and Thinner part, but I think you can
make it a little bit more captivating. As well as the opening sentence, maybe start
with something other than In the United States.... Also, be sure to introduce your
sources in some manner so that the reader knows who they are.
-Questions: What other ways is Dove helping with negative body image? Are their
any other companies/people trying to help with this issue? Why are eating
disorders/disordered eating so dangerous or bad for young girls health? (Maybe
give an example?)
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-Does it meet the assignments goals?: Yes and no, you need a few more pages to
meet the page requirement, but I think you can easily do this by elaborating a little
bit more on each of your points (paragraphs). I think you are off to a great start
with how your EIP is set up and youve made some great points, but going into
detail and adding more content to these points will definitely allow you to meet the
assignments goals.
-Other Things to Consider:This is just a suggestion, but maybe if you included
some personal aspects in your paper, maybe a personal story, or someone elses
personal story, it would make it more relatable to the reader. Maybe, maybe not. I
just think it might be something interesting to consider. Add more of your own
personal commentary so that it doesnt just seem like research. Its okay to state
your opinion in your EIP, and I think it would be quite interesting to see that.
Overall though, great job and I think you are definitely on your way to having a
great EIP! :)
P.S Im not an expert at MLA or citing, but Im pretty sure yours is correct, as well
as in-text(is that what theyre called?) citations.
Muse
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Muse
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