a peer's draft i reviewed

8/13/2019 A Peer's Draft I Reviewed

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India Sierra Muse

Instructor: Malcolm Campbell

English 1102

9-22-13

Thin and Thinner: Medias affect on body image of young females of America

In the United States body image is controlled and rendered only by the media. There is

always a very popular celebrity on the front of magazines, in a advertising commercial, or even

the star of a new movie. Many of them advertise weight loss and how to obtain the ideal body.

Your Health Today says that body image is a mental representation that a person has of his or her

own body, including, attitudes, thoughts, and emotions. The thin body type is glamorized in

social media and most of the time consumers buy into what the advertising industry is selling.

Little do these companies know is that they are affecting our youth in a negative way. Young

girls are comparing themselves to these celebrities, models, and actresses in hopes of meeting the

standards of society. While trying to compare themselves these young girls are suffering from

low self esteem and disorderly eating/ eating disorders.

In The Media

The ideal body image is portrayed in the media on a daily basis. Girls view these images

in movies, the news, internet, TV shows, and magazines at an average of 400-600 times a day.

The idealized model is often white, tall, thin, and has blonde hair. Research has shown that many

Muse

eed a sentence or two beforeis to draw the reader in maybe?

omething that will really catche readers attention rather thanst starting with a fact aboutody image in the US.

OWERFUL

eally like how your paper isell organized, it allows theader to understand each aspect

ou are trying to speak aboutdividually.

aybe think of a moreaptivating title, I like the thinnd thinner part, but maybe thinkf something more than themedias a!ect of body image onoung females of America.


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of the models shown on television, advertisements, and in other forms of popular media are

approximately 20% below ideal body weight. These women meet the diagnostic criteria for

anorexia nervosa and often suffer from bulimia (Dittmar & Howard, 2004). These girls accept

the fact that they are not as beautiful as the woman on the cover of the magazine. Society makes

them believe that thats what they need to look like. Since the 1950s the ideal body image of the

United States has become thinner with the growth of feminism and the way women are

portrayed. In the early 1920s women were advertised fully clothed and showed very little skin.

Over time women began to show more skin which led to the ideal body of a thinner woman.

Dove Commercials and Low Self Esteem

At a very young age we begin to compare ourselves to other people. We become aware

that we do not look like everyone else around us. Many of these young females want to be

accepted among other children their age. Dove has created the Dove Self Esteem Fund in order

to let girls know that they are beautiful the way they are. They have produced many films that

express the views of young teenage girls on the way they view their own bodies. In these films

they express the way other classmates view them such as calling them anorexic, fat, and ugly.

One girl that stood out the most was the girl that was hospitalized after losing so much weight in

the 9th grade. When she was in the 8th grade she was larger and over the summer she lost weight

due to being picked on. As a result people started talking to her and wanted to be her friend. She

felt accepted and was influenced that what she was doing to her body was okay.

According to Striegal-Moore and Franko, females are more common to experience

dissatisfaction of their physical appearance than males. At a young age studies have found that

Muse

ho are Striegal-Moore andanko?


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nearly half of girls aging 6-8 reported wanting to be slimmer. They remain caution of what they

eat in fear of unwanted weight gain. It is true that both females and males can be discouraged of

what they look like but eating and mental disorders are more common in females.

Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders

Many young girls suffer from disordered eating and eating disorders. Disordered eating is

classified as restrictive dieting, skipping meals, binge eating and purging, laxative abuse, and

other eating behaviors that are unhealthy to the body. If continued, disordered eating can turn

into an eating disorder. According to Your Health Today, an eating disorder is a chronic illness

that jeopardizes physical and mental health in which they can be life threatening. Examples of

common eating disorders are anorexia, binge eating, bulimia. With the new release of The

American Psychiatric Association's book of mental disorders, binge eating has now been

classified as a mental disorder in the same category as anorexia and bulimia (Masterson). Binge

Eating is the act of obsessive eating, eating when you're not hungry and feeling disgusted and

depressed afterward. These eating disorders are very common in young women ranging from

ages 14-25 and come from the inner feelings towards how they physically look, and not wanting

to eat. The act of not eating and forcing themselves to vomit is how they neglect their bodies.

Conclusion

In conclusion societies view on body image decreases the self esteem of young girls.

They compare themselves to the idealized women that are seen everyday nationwide. The act of

social media creating and idealizing the thin body type, has not only affected the physical body

Muse

reat facts, I think if youanted to include an image inour paper, somewhere in thisaragraph dealing with eatingsorders, I think it would beally powerful.

aybe go more into detailere about HOW young girls are!ected and maybe give someore example(s) of what Dove isoing to try to help. But I do likeow you included Dove to showe positive side of this issue andat someone is trying to help.


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but also the mental aspect of young girls. This unrealistic body shape is said to be unachievable

and very unhealthy to the human body and mind. The discovery of eating and mental disorders

has brought questions to what the social media is really doing to our youth. These young girls

then take it upon themselves to obtain that weight or look. We as a nation need to decrease the

levels of dissatisfaction of these young girls by creating more campaigns like Dove. If the self

esteem of these girls rises the percentage of eating disorders will decrease. It is just a matter of

educating these girls to let them know that they are perfect how they are and that everybody is

different.

Muse

few grammatical errors, butothing major.

ood :)


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Sources

-Teague, Michael L., Sara L. C. Mackenzie, and David M. Rosenthal. "Body Image."Your Health

Today: Brief. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2009. 169-86. Print.

-"General Information | National Eating Disorders Association." General Information | National

Eating Disorders Association. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Sept. 2013.

-"The Eating Disorder Foundation." The Eating Disorder Foundation. N.p., n.d. Web. 26 Sept.

2013.

-"Dove - Real Esteem." YouTube. YouTube, 24 Oct. 2006. Web. 24 Sept. 2013.

-"A Dove Film - Girl's Self-esteem." YouTube. YouTube, 09 Oct. 2006. Web. 22 Sept. 2013.

-Dittmar, H., & Howard, S. (2004). Professional hazards? The impact of models' body size on

advertising effectiveness and women's body-focused anxiety in professions that do and do not

emphasize the cultural ideal of thinness. British Journal of Social Psychology, 43(4), 477-497.

-Masterson, Kathleen. "Binge Eating Officially Defined As A Mental Disorder." NPR. NPR, 10

Feb. 2010. Web. 14 Oct. 2013.

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-Striegel-Moore, R. H., & Schreiber, G. B. (2000). Eating disorder symptoms in a cohort of 11 to

16-year-old black and white girls: International Journal of Eating Disorders, 27(1), 49-66.

Muse


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Peer Review: Kimberlyn Wayland

-What works well: I really like the structure of your paper and how it is organized,

it allows the reader to fully understand each part you are trying to speak about. I

think you made a lot of great points, including the source of negative body image

(the media),detrimental effects of negative body image (disordered eating/eating

disorders) and what is trying to be done about it (Dove). I think your paper is laid

out really well structurally and flows very nicely.

-Where you might want to reconsider your approach: I think you are getting

somewhere with your title with the Thin and Thinner part, but I think you can

make it a little bit more captivating. As well as the opening sentence, maybe start

with something other than In the United States.... Also, be sure to introduce your

sources in some manner so that the reader knows who they are.

-Questions: What other ways is Dove helping with negative body image? Are their

any other companies/people trying to help with this issue? Why are eating

disorders/disordered eating so dangerous or bad for young girls health? (Maybe

give an example?)

Muse


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-Does it meet the assignments goals?: Yes and no, you need a few more pages to

meet the page requirement, but I think you can easily do this by elaborating a little

bit more on each of your points (paragraphs). I think you are off to a great start

with how your EIP is set up and youve made some great points, but going into

detail and adding more content to these points will definitely allow you to meet the

assignments goals.

-Other Things to Consider:This is just a suggestion, but maybe if you included

some personal aspects in your paper, maybe a personal story, or someone elses

personal story, it would make it more relatable to the reader. Maybe, maybe not. I

just think it might be something interesting to consider. Add more of your own

personal commentary so that it doesnt just seem like research. Its okay to state

your opinion in your EIP, and I think it would be quite interesting to see that.

Overall though, great job and I think you are definitely on your way to having a

great EIP! :)

P.S Im not an expert at MLA or citing, but Im pretty sure yours is correct, as well

as in-text(is that what theyre called?) citations.

Muse


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Muse

a peer's draft i reviewed

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