A Good Start: Resilience In Families With A First Baby

Irene de HaanSPEaR scholarship recipient

Motivation

How can we make sure that every child gets the best possible start? Essentially practical.

• Practical orientation as a result of family support work

• Doing well while parenting children is clearly very difficult for some families – Why?

• Is it something to do with starting off on a wrong track?

• What would help more families get off to a better start?

The study

Research questions – to explore how support for transition to parenthood is experienced

Rationale for recruitment – age range of first time mothers; diverse circumstances, fathers’ perspective

Methodology– reflect realities of life with a small baby– Topics of conversation ( & key points about

support )– Focus on implications for resilience promotion

Challenging times

‘A family’s ability to be resilient in the face of normative or significant risk is related not only to their internal processes but also to the risks or opportunities in the social systems in their ecological context. Living in poverty and in crime-ridden violent neighborhoods places families at high risk and undermines their ability to satisfactorily accomplish their core functions’ (Patterson, 2002a: 244)

Informing the study

Began with resilience literature

o Family resilience

o Resilience in children

o Resilience theory

Transition to parenthood (Fathers, mothers, couples, teenage parents, older parents)

Support

Gauging resilience

Patterson (2002: page 353) suggests a possible way of assessing family resilience:

* the degree to which a family is competent in fulfilling

one or more of four ‘family functions’ that centre on:

• material well-being• protection of vulnerable members• nurturing and self-development• belonging

Perspective

Phronesis (Flyvbjerg, 2001) o Argument that a contemporary interpretation of

phronesis is a foundation for social research that takes account of values and promotes action and practice that is relevant, just and ethical.

o Fits with a human rights perspective on social policy and practice.

o Involves a critique of professionalism as professional biases may distort understanding of adversity and competence within a particular context

Methodology

Narrative inquiry

Narratives and stories For research based in phronesis Flyvbjerg advocates the

use of narrative: As ‘perhaps our fundamental form for making sense of experience’ it has potential to clarify process and meaning and produce both understanding and explanation. (Flyvbjerg, 2001,137)

Familiarity and naturalness - it is common for women to talk about pregnancy, childbirth and babies

Methods

The depth interview (Miller & Crabtree, 2004).• personal and intimate, with an emphasis on ‘depth,

detail, vividness and nuance’. concentrates on the figure at the expense of the ground

• a situated, encapsulated discourse balancing intimacy and distance, which opens the way to understanding how particular individuals arrive at the cognitions, emotions, and values that emerge from the conversational journey.

• an entranceway to narrative understanding.• purpose is to construct a meta-narrative of the many

stories heard from the many interview partners

A synopsis Presentation draws on participants’ stories and narratives

- a synopsis of what new mothers and new fathers said about each stage.

• Narrative inquiry generated vast amount of information

• Basing a study in phronesis (‘practical wisdom’) directs the study towards detail so that ideas about change for the better is groundedin the practical

• Methods must highlight detail so that knowledge about the subject of study gradually emerges and coalesces, becoming ‘thick description’

‘It’ll happen, ready or not’

To prepare for childbirth, participants were: Gathering informationLeaning on their LMCSome were attending antenatal educationo Reliance on other women for information about

what the birth would be likeo The midwife was a trusted advisor o Antenatal education focused on the birth, were

sometimes inaccessible, did not engage younger participants, did not engage men.

‘Amy’

‘I just got put off, the way they sort of looked at me. I wasn’t much younger than some of them but I might have looked a lot younger, and [Partner] too, though he was roughly the same age as the other guys. So it was so uncomfortable – like they wouldn’t talk to us, or interact. There were group things, but even then. There wasn’t much age difference but they judge you as if you were 15 or something’.

Getting readyParticipants were: • Seeking knowledge about coping after the birth• Nesting• Thinking about changing relationshipso Limited access to the information wanted. Gaps in formal

support for learning how to care for a baby; adapt to relationship issues and other changes likely to occur. Many filled this gap by reading, but knowledge of well child services hazy.

o Informal support valuable source of material support (baby clothes, equipment) & mentioned as a likely source of information and assistance in the future

o Emotional support experienced as overwhelming as well as uplifting, being ‘made a fuss of’ was appreciated.

o Short-term relationships potentially de-stabilised – question of access to support for these couples

‘Rae’

‘I’m a bit of a structured, organised, read all the books

kind of person, but strangely enough about the birthing plan I’ve just gone ‘Phew, it’ll happen’. But I was very careful about choosing my midwives. I was very careful about choosing them and their philosophy. I went through a few because I was with my GP in Auckland, who happened to be with one of the last obstetric gangs around. So I was with them for a while. I spent a bit of time looking around, effectively interviewing midwives, and then started finding the women around who’ve had babies and asking them’.

Meeting the baby New mothers wanted to be looked after while they recovered - expectation that they would simply go off home and be able to cope was viewed as ludicrously unrealistic.

Experience of fathers was that they were ‘invisible’.

Short, steep learning curve.

• Birthing Centres good at caring for women – skills development, respect, pampering

• Importance of food• Some fathers felt in the way, others were included and

instructed in babycare (especially at birthing centres)• Lack of time to learn essential skills for caring for a baby

‘Jan’

‘I love the fact that you have the same midwife all the way through. It’s just wonderful. Because it’s such a huge part of your life and it’s personal and you actually get to develop a relationship with your midwife. I had the most amazing midwife, lots of connections and stuff like that. I think if I had any issues she would definitely have put me in the right direction. About ten seconds after he was born [Partner] proclaimed that that wasn’t too bad and we could have another one! He was on Cloud Nine’

The first few daysBreastfeeding • A skill that takes time to acquire. ‘In-service training’ required• Inconsistent advice• Disbelief, sense of betrayal – ‘Why did no-one say it was so hard?’

Going home – ‘in the deep end’Feelings of utter helplessness common when first at home with the

baby. Where’s the manual? • Support from family a mixed blessing - best kind of support was very

practical – new grandmothers sometimes also flummoxed. Role modelling a possibility.

• Wished for a ‘manual’ (men especially)• Problems of timing and style in ensuring new parents know what

they need to know

LMC midwives promoted a sense of self-efficacy, for fathers as well as mothers

Despite apprehension before the birth, focus afterwards not so much on expertmedical care, but on attitudes and demeanour of hospital staff, general atmosphere in the hospital or birthing unit, and details like the kind of food served

‘Tania’

‘I just kept thinking ‘Oh this can’t be happening, it can’t be this hard, I just don’t want to do it any more’. But now that I’ve done it, like it took me two weeks to get it sorted and the pain to go away and then it was comfortable and now I think ‘Oh I’m so glad I’ve stuck to it’. It would have been so easy just to say I don’t want to do this any more. At three weeks she was going through a growth spurt and I didn’t know, and she was hungry, hungry all the time, and I thought she’s obviously not getting something, but my midwife told me ‘Oh no, she’s fine, she’s just going through a bit of a growth spurt’. But things like that, I think that there should be minor warnings, just to know that at three weeks expect a growth spurt’

Early daysWhat was needed was practical help, information and advice.

Praise powerful – but rare

• Midwives key source of information and support• Ambivalence re Plunket nurses - some said they would ‘go to family

first’. Praise for Plunket Family Centres• Plunketline and Healthline often a first port of call

Material well-being and work/life balanceReducing outgoings, watching the money, working harder, saving up

o Getting by financially caused much concern. Obvious differences of degree in financial strain expected or currently faced. Many controlling spending or fathers working longer hours. Younger participants tended to have no spare money at all - paradoxically more freedom to plan to be a ‘fulltime mum’

o Appreciated Paid Parental Leave – not all eligibleo Many unclear about Working For Families and Parental Tax Credit.

For young women, a Benefit was a lifeline

.

‘Jess’

‘It’s very busy. I was prepared for him to be time

consuming but I don’t think you can actually appreciate until you’ve got one, the constantness of it. It’s more constant than I expected. I think because we’re in the position where we don’t have any family around it makes it a bit harder because we don’t really get a break from it. But I really enjoy looking after him.’

Developing competenceThe constantness of it Surprise at the relentlessness of the routine; ‘24/7’o Dearth of role models; some participants had little support of any kindo Shopping unexpectedly problematico Formal support received before the birth not much use; current formal support

‘more about the baby’

Isolation Most women interviewed spent a lot of time alone with the baby; women new to the country particularly isolated and lonely

Financial strainFinancial strain noticed by most, even those on comparatively high incomeso Paid Parental Leave ‘a godsend’; Working For Families sometimes not

accessed until someone pointed out eligibilityo WINZ staff helpful, understanding, respectful

Returning to paid workDisliking financial dependence; craving adult company; missing status conferredby a career; concern about keeping a toehold on a career ladder o Employers less flexible than promised

Relationships, roles, self-conceptMain focus was the baby. Changed self-concepto ‘Team approach’ helpful

‘Zac’

‘Once the reality hits it’s kind of swim or drown really. It’s probably the traditional role since the industrial revolution that the man goes out to hunt the dollar, but recently there’s been this whole development of both parents working. In our antenatal group women would say they’d just be away from work for two or three weeks and then go back. Straight into childcare or nannies. But I think it’s important to allow time to take the shift on. As a parent, it’s a great role that I didn’t know anything about - that I only had opinions about, no practical experience’.

Support for transition to parenthood

A blurred and incomplete big pictureParticipants’ narratives of indicate that far from being comprehensive, support for transition to parenthood is fragmented, partial and designed to suit a limited range of people. There is no indication of a planned approach to providing families with an overview of potentially useful formal and semi-formal services or schemes for protecting financial well-being. Participants were vague about what life with a baby would be like and nothing prepared them for the extent of the changes they would soon be dealing with. Little evidence of variation in the style of antenatal education or other services to suit women of different ages and in different circumstances.

Resilience lens

Opportunity to promote resilienceResilience promotion in a particular context must include both risk reduction and competence enhancement. Since neither strategy is much in evidence with regard to enhancing resilience in families preparing for transition to parenthood, there is an opportunity to design a strategy to make the birth of a first child a turning point for many more families by ensuring the availability of types of support that would mitigate problems they are likely to face and enhance their competence in the skills needed to successfully adapt.

References

Flyvbjerg, B. (2001). Making social science matter: why social inquiry fails and how it can succeed again. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Ministry of Social Development (2004). New Zealand Families Today. Wellington: Ministry of Social Development.

Patterson, J.M. (2002). Integrating Family Resilience and Family Stress Theory. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 64 (2), 349 - 360.