7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

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Volume 75 - Issue 3 - October 20, 2003

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In a recent interview with Dr. Janie

Park, provost and academic vice-chan-

cellor of MSU-B, much was revealed

about the faculty, their role on campus

and their commitment to the school. In

order to teach in the four-year bachelorsprogram, professors are required to have

a masters degree in their respective field.

Most professors at MSU-B hold a doc-

torateroughly 85 percent. The hiring

policy varies from department to depart-

ment due to the fact that some programs

rely more on life experience than on a

masters or doctorate degreewelding

and auto body repair are two prime ex-

amples.

There are 150 professors at MSU-

B, including the College of Technology.

Of the professors, 123 are either ten-

ured or in a tenure-track position. Theremaining 27 faculty members are

employed in lecture positions.

Tenure is the recognition of ex-

cellence for a professor in his or her

chosen field. When a professor is

hired at MSU-B, he or she is hired

either in a lecturer position (which

means a year-to-year contract with no

possibility of tenure) or in a tenure-

track position. A tenure-track posi-

tion is one that offers the possibility

of tenure if the professor meets the

stringent requirements. According to

the collective bargaining agreement,

The granting of tenure is not solely a

reward for services preformed during

the probationary years, but is an ex-

pression of confidence that a faculty

member will continue to be a valued

colleague, an outstanding teacher, and

an active scholar or artist.

To obtain tenure, a professor

must undergo a seven-year probation

period. During this probation period,

the professor is reviewed each year

by his or her departments chair and

tenure committee. The review judges

the professor on excellence in teach-

ing and significant strength in schol-arship and service. In addition to the

review by the professors department

there is also a student assessment.

Student assessment of teaching is

designed to provide faculty with a

basis for maintaining the quality of

the courses and the instruction, as

well as to provide rank and tenure

committees and appropriate admin-

istrative personnel with data for pur-

poses of professional evaluation, ac-

cording to the collective bargaining

agreement. At the end of the proba-

tionary period, the professor might

be qualified for tenure, but it is not

automatically granted. At this point,

the professor is recommended for

tenure at the department level. The

dean of the department either ap-

proves or disapproves the recommen-

dation. The applicant is then re-

viewed by the university rank and

tenure committee to determine eligi-

bility. The process is about half done

at this point. The application next

goes before the provost. If, at this

point, all of the reviewers recommend

tenure, and the application is brought

before the chancellor who has the fi-

nal say on the matter.Once the professor is granted

tenure, he or she moves from a year-

to-year contract to a labor agreement

with no end point, says Park. Con-

trary to popular opinion, this does not

mean that the professor can never be

fired. Park says, The professor must

undergo an evaluation every three

years to determine if he or she still

meets the required level of excel-

lence.

With professors being in a na-

tional job market, one might think that

tenure is offered as a way to keep pro-fessors from moving to better paying

jobs. With some universities paying

20 to 50 percent higher wages than

MSU-B, this is a real possibility.

However, professors who are inter-

ested in nothing more than money are

unlikely to stick around once they are

offered a higher paying job regardless

of tenure. Richard Pierce, a MSU-B

lecturer in math says, A tenured po-

sition would be nice, but with the po-

sition I currently have I enjoy the work

and the students. Its a good balance

to keep me around. Most of the pro-

fessors teach at MSU-B for reasons

other than money. Perhaps they like

the smaller classes or just like living

in Montana. One thing is certain:

the professors here at MSU-B are

very qualified and are here for the

love of their profession.

Jason LillieReporter

What Do You Know About Your Professors Tenure?

...tenure is the

recogni tion of

excellence for aprofessor in his

or her chosen

field...

Rant & Rave: How

Many Women Does it

Take to Change a

Lightbulb?

Page 2

Spooky Halloween

Tatoo Convention

Planned

Page 4

Halloween History and

Little-known Facts

Page 5

Art Gallery: Focusing

on Barbie & Persphonewith Dawn Hunter

Page 5

Pull Over!: Campus

Police Blotter Reveals

Humorous Offenses

Page 7

On Campus Events for

November

Page 10

Laugh Your Head Off

Page 11

How to: Beat Those

College Blues

Page 12

Studying Abroad in

Costa Rica: One

Students Adventure

Page 13

New Musicians on the

Rise to Stardom!

Page 15

Men and Womens

Soccer Kicks @$$!

Page 18

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

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J anna H uhtalaJ anna H uhtalaJ anna H uhtalaJ anna H uhtalaJ anna H uhtalaValerie Y oungValerie Y oungValerie Y oungValerie Y oungValerie Y oung

Richard CastilloRichard CastilloRichard CastilloRichard CastilloRichard CastilloJ ed BartonJ ed BartonJ ed BartonJ ed BartonJ ed BartonN icole M assN icole M assN icole M assN icole M assN icole M ass

J ennifer FentonJ ennifer FentonJ ennifer FentonJ ennifer FentonJ ennifer FentonM i Suk KimM i Suk KimM i Suk KimM i Suk KimM i Suk KimAdamWickensAdamWickensAdamWickensAdamWickensAdamWickensVACANTVACANTVACANTVACANTVACANTAmy WhittleAmy WhittleAmy WhittleAmy WhittleAmy WhittleChristopher SnowChristopher SnowChristopher SnowChristopher SnowChristopher SnowDan H ansenDan H ansenDan H ansenDan H ansenDan H ansen

J ason L illieJ ason L illieJ ason L illieJ ason L illieJ ason L illieBetsy H arrisBetsy H arrisBetsy H arrisBetsy H arrisBetsy H arrisM iranda B redingM iranda B redingM iranda B redingM iranda B redingM iranda B redingBecky B utcherBecky B utcherBecky B utcherBecky B utcherBecky B utcherRon DeY oungRon DeY oungRon DeY oungRon DeY oungRon DeY oungBrett H arrisonB rett H arrisonB rett H arrisonB rett H arrisonB rett H arrisonEvelyn IrmenEvelyn IrmenEvelyn IrmenEvelyn IrmenEvelyn IrmenLarissa LeonardLarissa LeonardLarissa LeonardLarissa LeonardLarissa LeonardL insey L indgrenLinsey L indgrenL insey L indgrenLinsey L indgrenL insey L indgren

J essalyn RemingtonJ essalyn RemingtonJ essalyn RemingtonJ essalyn RemingtonJ essalyn RemingtonP eter RichlenP eter RichlenP eter RichlenP eter RichlenP eter Richlen

J eremy SeidlitzJ eremy SeidlitzJ eremy SeidlitzJ eremy SeidlitzJ eremy SeidlitzJ esse KesterJ esse KesterJ esse KesterJ esse KesterJ esse Kester

Nancy SwansonNancy SwansonNancy SwansonNancy SwansonNancy Swanson

1500 University DriveSU B 2251500 University DriveSU B 2251500 University DriveSU B 2251500 University DriveSU B 2251500 University DriveSU B 225Billings M T 59101Billings M T 59101Billings M T 59101Billings M T 59101Billings M T 59101

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The Retort encourages the submission of letters

to the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words

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phone number. The Retort reserves the right to

edit for space and possible libel. Letters should

deal with subject matter relevant to the stu-

dents, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The

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Editors and StaffEditors and StaffEditors and StaffEditors and StaffEditors and Staff

Janna HuhtalaEditor-in-Chief

Rant & Rave: Editors Opinion

Discreetly nestled near the milk

cooler lie twenty kinds of ready-bakecookies and instinctively a nave shop-

per pauses to gaze at the cookie oasis.

The customer is now trying to pass

them quick enough to grab a gallon of

two-percent milk. SAFE! As the un-

aware consumer speeds past the first

attacker, he or she runs into another

obstacle. The milk is conveniently

placed 20 feet from the candy and

cookie isle. Conceding to this relent-

less attack by these inanimate goods,

the customer snatches the evil Keebler

Elf from its perch and walks away, head

downdefeated.Is this just a coincidence? I think

not. More important are the strange

ideas that are put into motion by our

sneaky marketing researchers who

spend hours analyzing our habits and

consumer spending. You have all done

it; you walked into your local

Albertsons with the mindset to pick up

only a few essential items, and instead

you walk out with a package of Snick-

ers, two boxes of cookies, and a 12 pack

of cola. Too stubborn to admit your

weakness, you most likely told your

friends and family that there was asale and you needed it anyway. I

have been there and I have done that.

Guilty as charged.

As a communications student

here at MSU-B, I am constantly bom-

barded by the ethics behind dispatch-

ing the right message to the portrayed

audience. For you non-communica-

tions majors, this means that I will most

likely spend the rest of my life scruti-

nizing why people do what they do so

that I can sell the right message to the

right people. Thats right folks, I will

study your children and tell big corpo-

rations why they need to place their

Captain Cocoa Sprinkles cereal exactly

four feet from the floor so that you can

sugar coat your little monsters.

You should be glad that I am on

your side because classes like Market-

ing and Consumer Behavior have

taught me how to effectively sell you

products that you do not need and do

not want. Good news though, I choose

to use the evil knowledge that I have

gained to educate myself and others to

resist the intense marketing ploys andcreative product placement that has our

pocketbooks empty and our pantries

full.

I have seen some strange and un-

usual product placements in all kinds

of stores, but I am amazed at the con-

stant trickery and I am baffled by the

genius minds that are wasted on these

deceptions. Even stranger is the place-

ment of feminine products mysteri-

ously located next to lightbulbs in many

grocery stores. I have tried to imagine

what the marketing researchers were

thinking when they came up with theirproduct placement reasoning for this

one. They were definitely male or at

least very manly women, because how

many times do you see a man buying

maxi pads? These researchers have

made sure that women see the light

bulbs before they leave the store. I can

see their sales presentation now

Women equal tampons. Women also

equal obsessive compulsive cleaning.

Women also have brains, so if we add

the three variables together we get

W=T/OCC x B. This means that if

W=T and W=OCC multiplied bybrainpower we can conclude that

W=Lightbulbs? This sounds pretty

chauvinistic to me.

They are right though, lightbulbs

and women definitely go together. I

know that if it was left up to my dad

and my brother to change the

lightbulbs, it would have been really

dark in our house. Men have more im-

portantthings to do, like check the oil

in all four of their broken down trucks,

and be the breadwinners for their

lightbulb changing wife, daughters, andsisters. As long as they have electricity

to run the washing machine, refrigera-

tor and big screen TV, a well-lit hall-

way is only a minor setback.

Do these marketing researchers

have it all wrong? No, they just have

us figured out. In my opinion, (not

neccesarily your opinion) if it werent

for women, we would live in a world

of darkness. Am I right, men?

How Many Women Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

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Any student carefully review-

ing his or her tuition and fees state-

ment at the beginning of this se-mester surely noticed the addition

of a new fee, which was not a big

deal, right? Wrong! Any new fee

should raise concern, but the fee

in question was for a whopping

$528. Have the students had the

wool pulled over their eyes? Ac-

cording to Marylou Ross, R.N.,

coordinator of Student Health Ser-

vices, the answer is: not at all.

SHS at MSU-Billings has

been trying for many years to pro-

mote awareness of health insur-

ance needs to students. Nation-wide, around 27% of all college

students are uninsured or

underinsured, leaving those stu-

dents on the brink of financial di-

saster should adversity, such as a

broken leg or sudden illness, arise.

With the rising costs of health care,

one stroke of bad luck can spell out

a debt larger than a college educa-

tion.

Too many students, the cost

of insurance is daunting and seems

unnecessary amidst other, more

tangible expenses. To combat this

mentality, MSU-Billings has

joined the Montana University

System Insurance Consortium to

offer students a reasonably priced

policy. One of the requirements

for membership in the consortium

was the implementation of the

mandatory fee and fee waiver sys-tem.

Some students entertained a

negative response to the new in-

surance plan. Among these stu-

dents was Michael Selph, a senior

in secondary education in English and

history. According to Selph, The

school was deceptive in charging

the students automatically. The fee

should have been an option for stu-

dents and not the default. That

line of reasoning is shared by sev-

eral other students who disap-

proved of the fee.Besides being automatically

charged for the insurance, the in-

formation provided for students by

SHS was ambiguous and mislead-

ing. Both the SHS website and the

information disseminated by SHS

stated, It is a requirement of

MSU-Billings students carrying

seven or more credits to have some

form of health insurance. This

information led students without

health insurance to believe they

must purchase it from MSU-Bill-

ings in order to attend school,

which is not true, as vice chancel-

lor of student affairs, Curt

Kochner, attested in an article from

the Billings Gazette on Aug. 24.

The university cannot deny enroll-

ment to a student on the grounds

of lacking health insurance. Also

deceptive was the format of the feewaiver webpage. It did not offer

an option for students who were

without health insurance and did

not want to purchase it through

MSU-Billings. The only option

available was to claim coverage

through a private insurer, in effect,

causing the student to lie.

Trista Richards, a junior in

elementary and special education,

felt that the policy was sneaky,

and would have liked advance no-

tice, which is a legitimate compli-

ant, seeing that the fee waiver in-formation was mailed out after

the bill.

Another criticism of the new

program is the lack of student

awareness about the health insur-

ance program in general. Margot

Merrill-Johnson, a senior in soci-

ology, says, It [the new health in-

surance fee] was not publicized

enough. According to Ross, SHS

did a lot of publicizing, including

open forums, mass mailings, and

including brochures with fee state-

ments. Regardless of the efforts

of SHS, some students still feel

like they are being kept in the dark.

Despite some student disap-

proval, the new policy seems to

have worked. Last year, around

100 students were signed up for the

insurance program, and this year

there are 500 students covered.Like it or not, the move seems to

have been effective in regards to

the goal of reducing the number of

uninsured students.

The real heart of the mat-

ter, it seems, is students and ad-

ministration are once again suf-

fering from a chronic case of

c o m m u n i c a t i o n

failure.Whether the reason is

student apathy or administra-

tion inapproachability, there is

a feeling that the two forces are at

odds with each other. This prob-lem actually has a very simple

solution. Students: if you have

a complaint , take i t to the

source. Go over to SHS and

speak your mind. Mumbling

under your breath will accom-

pl ish no th in g bu t frus tr at io n.

Organizations like SHS cannot

read your mind, and if you

dont speak up, you will never

be heard.

The SHS office is located right

next to Petro Hall Lobby on the sec-

ond floor and is open 8:00 a.m. to 5:00

p.m. Mon.through Fri. SHS can be

reached by phone at 657-2153.

Students Cry Out Over Health Insurance WoesAdam WickensCopy Editor

Harvard professor Robert

Putnam, best-selling author

and former dean of the John

F. Kennedy School of Govern-

ment, presented his work on

the decline of Social Capi-

tal at the MSU-Billings Petro

theatre on Thu. , Sept . 25.

Putnams research on social

capital, the theory that states,

social networks have value,

has found that there has been

a dramatic decrease in public

part ic ipat ion in soc ia l event s.

Using the works of Alex

De Toqueville as a starting

po int, Putnams work has re-

vealed that over the last quar-

ter century, there has been adramat ic decrease in the

amount of time people spend

having dinner parties, attend-

ing club meet ings , having

family picnics, volunteering

on community boards , and

that people are belonging to

fewer civic organizations, and

having fewer family dinners.

Putnams research has in-

dicated that people are spend-

ing more time bowling, but

bo wl in g le ag ue s ar e ge tt in g

smaller. This phenomenon

creates the title of his recent

best-sel ling book, Bowling

Alone: The Collapse and Re-

vival of the American Commu-

nity, in which he outlines the

trends of social capital over

the past century. Held in con-

ju nc ti on wi th the 10th an ni -

versary of the Montana Cam-

pu s Comp ac t, Pu tn am s pre-

sentation echoed the impor-

tance that civic organizations

have on the communities they

serve.

The presentation was a hi-

larious look at the importance

of social capital and how it af-fects communities. Putnam

concluded with excerpts from

his new book, Bet ter Together,

which is a compilation of 12

different stories of how dedi-

cated people can work to make

their communities better. This

was the perfect salute to the

pos itive work of the Montana

Campus Compact.

Jeremy SeidlitzStaff Writer

The Montana board of re-

gents held their bi-monthly

meeting on the campus of MSU-

Billings on Sept. 25-26. The

agenda for the meeting included

budget issues, an open forum for

public comment, various staff

issues, labor agreements, ad-

ministrative budget issues, sys-

tem issues, and student com-

ment. This format opened the

door for some very interesting

publi c commentary during the

discussion. The two-day meet-

ing began with a tour of the

campus of MSU-Billings for the

board of regents and adminis tra-

tors of the other colleges in theMontana University System.

The board of regents ,

which consists of seven mem-

ber s appointed by the governor

and approved by the state sen-

ate, serve as administrators and

f inancial s tewards for

Montanas nine state supported

colleges and universities. Six of

the regents will serve a seven-

year term, while the last regent

is a student, who can serve up

to four years. The regents have

the power to allocate state ap-

propriations and must approve

fee increases before they can be

implemented.

The student regent is nomi-

nated from each of the schools

in the Montana University Sys-

tem. The Montana Associated

Students conduct interviews

with the top three candidates

and pass these recommenda-

tions along to the governor. The

purpose of the student regent is

to ensure that students have ad-

equate representation on the

board of regents.

The regents agenda allowsthe MAS an opportunity to

voice concerns at a luncheon

event. The topic that dominated

the Sept. 25, MAS luncheon

discussion was the use of fed-

eral tax-cut monies to offset tu-

ition increases and how students

leaders should handle a specu-

lated special legislative session

in early 2004.

Board of Regents Hold Meetingson the MSU-Billings Campus

Best-Selling Author Entertains MSU-Billings

Audience About the Ideas of Social CapitalJeremy SeidlitzStaff Writer

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

4/20

Actors Perfect Their Performance forJack The Ripper

On Saturday Oct. 25, the

Metra Park Pavillion will be the

temporary home of the Inaugural

Tattooing and Piercing Expo. AllholloWs ink, hosted by local tat-

too parlors, Tattoo Art and Eagle

Tattoo, will soon be the most popu-

lar event to hit the Big Sky coun-

try for tattoo and piercing enthusi-

asts from near and far. The event

will run from 10:30 a.m. to mid-

night and the entry fee is $5. How-

ever, this a non-profit event and all

proceeds will go toward putting on

a bigger and better event next year

that should last two days. Jimmy

Brown of Tattoo Art in Billings

said, This is my baby and it will

continue to happen year after year

getting bigger and better each year,

getting bigger and better each year

we have it.

One attraction will be the

presence of on-site artists, many of

whom are award winning and

whose services will be availablethroughout the day. Local artists

from Tattoo Art include Buzz

Bailey, Jimmy Brown, Miki, Ryan,

and Jake. Another shop from Bill-

ings is Eagle Tattoo, featuring the

work of Vinnie, Bree, and Cindy.

The Gallery, a new shop that

opened up in Billings last year, will

have Wes on hand. Not only will

local artists be there, but there will

be some from as far away as South

Carolina. There will be a shop from

Bremerton, Wash. called TattooTechnique; Yakima, Wash. will

have Jim and Jennys Tattoos rep-

resenting them. From Helena and

Missoula, there will be Mystic Tat-

toos and Altered Ink, which is also

representing a shop from Spokane,

Wash. Appearing from South

Carolina is Casey Edwards of

Tattoos by Casey.Along with the actual

tatooing that will be taking place,

there will be a tattoo competition

that will award trophies in the fol-

lowing categories: Best Tradi-

tional; Best Portrait; Most Unique;

Best Sleeve; Best Black and Gray;

Best Large; Best Tribal; and Tat-

too of The Day (it must have been

done that day from start to finish).

There is a small fee of $5 to enter

the competition, but who can com-

plain when your tattoo will be thetalk of the expo?

Also planned in conjunction

with the expo is a Hot Rod and

Custom Bike Show. There is a Fe-

tish Piercing Demonstration that

will take place as well. For those

of you wondering what that is all

about, it is completely temporary,

totally for the moment, and bringsthose undergoing the process to a

new plateau; it is solely based on

self determination.

For those of you interested

in attending, have no fear, there

will be live entertainment from

local Bill ings band Pani c

Stricken. Metrapark will be pro-

viding concessions throughout

the day and evening. There is

will also be a costume contest

and door prizes. All other skin

donors go out and enjoy, and get

that tattoo youve wanted to get

but just dont want your parents

to know about.

All holloWs ink Tattoo and Piercing ExpoJennifer FentonA&E Editor

Have you ever seen pain?

Have you ever seen torment? Have

you ever witnessed the blade in the

hands of a psychopath, bearingdown on you? Then you have

never met Jack the Ripper. He is

here, and he is in the musical play

written by Ron Pemper and Den-

nis De Marue, which is coming to

the MSU-B Petro theatre Nov. 12

through the 15.

The tryouts forJack the Rip-

perbegan Sept. 15, and now, three

weeks later, the intensity is rising.

Practices are held every Mon.

through Thurs. from 7 to 9 p.m.

and Sat. and Sun. from 10 a.m.

until 12 p.m. in the LI 231 lecture

hall. The crew plans to move into

Petro Theatre by Oct. 18.

With a cast this size, it is

always hard to get people to-

gether, because of their different

schedules, Kristen Horn, assis-

tant director, said while taking

roll at practice.

Play practices are going

smoothly. However the construc-

tion for the set had to be put on

hold to make way for the Supreme

Courts meeting held in the mid-

October at Petro Theatre. Time

was lost but Paul Jangula, tech di-

rector, had the situation under

control and moving smoothly.

Jangula is getting the necessary

construction done and putting the

basic things together with the ex-

ception of the painted street in thebackground. That street will be

finished after the Supreme Court

leaves so that it

can lie out and

dry properly.

J a n g u l a

be li eve s th e

cost of set cost

will be under their budget this

year. They have wood and reus-

able props stored in the back of

Petro Theatre. Paint is the main

necessity for the set and is where

most of the funds are used.

Randy Pugh tightens his

collar as the actors learn their

music and block the first act.

Pugh says, We will get people

into the illusion of the 19th cen-

tury, acted in the old British dia-

lect. 80 percent of the events in

the play are based on fiction, but

the scenes based on history are

very real when viewed from the

audience.

The actors have been

spending long hours perfecting

their musical and theatrical tal-

ents. Pugh spent time teaching

the actors how to speak with a

Cockney accent.

I am having no problems

memorizing my lines, said Pat

McDonald, MSU-B student.

McDonald is taking the lead roleas Jack the Ripper, and is having

fun with it, McDonald is creepy,

yet respect-

able, he

said about

his character.

M c D o n a l d

does not

have to sing throughout the play,

but sings a litt le at the end.

After being asked why Jack

goes after hookers, Christi Fisher,

playing Jacks obsession, Marry

Kelly, said, He is a salvationist,

obsessed for removing the bad

from the world. Fisher is confi-

dent in her abilities to sing, and is

hoping for a good performance.

Stephanie McCannel, an

MSU-Bozeman student, is de-

signing and making most of the

costumes. Costumes that are not

being made by McCannel will be

rented or are already in stock.

Costume fittings were held Oct.

2 during the regularly scheduled

practice.

Hair and makeup will be

done by MSU-B student, Bobby

Boyson, on show nights at Sassy

Scissors Salon.

Photo shoots were held Tues,

Oct. 7, with actual costume and

makeup changes. The photos will

be used both for advertisementsand photo display in the play.

Workshop 293/493 is a class

given for theater students, in-

structed by Pugh. The crew in-

cludes set construction; rehears-

als secretary; actors; hair and

makeup artists; prop designers;

advertising committee; research

committee; costume designers;

and a pianist.

Everybody agrees that the

play is going very well and is pro-

gressing like it should. According

to the cast, Randy is doing

great.

Evelyn Irmen &

Peter Richlen

Staff

Writers

With a cast th is size, it is always

hard to get people together, be-

cause of their di fferent schedules,Kri sten Horn , Asst. Di rector of Jack the Ripper

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

5/20

The Rundown: Halloween History in a Nutshell

The ancient Celtic year-

end festival of Samhain (pro-

nounced SOW-en) is believed

to be the or igin of what isknown to the modern world as

Halloween.

The Celts were a group of

peo pl e wh o li ve d mor e th an

2,000 years ago in the areas of

what are now known England,

Wales, Ireland, Scotland, and

northern France. Each Nov. 1,

the date that marked the Celtic

calendar as the end of the year,

villagers and priests (called

Druids) would extinguish the

fires in their f ireplaces and

gather in the town square where

a huge bonfire of oak branches,

the Druids sacred wood, would

be l it. Animals, crops, and pos-

sibly even humans were thrown

onto the bonfire as sacrifices to

the Cel t i c god of dea th ,

Samhain . Throughout the day

and into the night, a festival

was held that included food and

dancing, sometimes by animal

skin-costumed participants.

The Samhain festival was

also regarded as the time whenthe border separating the land

of the living from the land of

the dead became weak, thus

enabling spirits of all tempera-

ments to wander free in the

land of the living. Because

October 31 lies exactly be-

tween the Autumnal Equinox

and the Winter Solstice, it istheorized that ancient peoples,

with their reliance on astrol-

ogy, thought it was a very po-

tent time for magic and com-

munion with spirits, writes

freelance writer and witch of

Celtic/Sicilian heritage Peg

Aloi in her article You Call It

Hal loweenWe Call I t

Samhain . Contrary to popular

bel ief , these spiri ts were no t al-

ways unwelcome. Oftentimes

households would place food or

gifts on their doorsteps or invite

the dead into their homes

much as the animals were

brought ins ide , Aloi writes.

After the Christian con-

quest of the celts, the church,

in an attempt to encourage

more willing submission of its

new initiates when it discov-

ered that they had no intention

of abandoning their beliefs and

age-old religious practices, es-

tablished All Saints Day on

Nov. 1 an d, la te r, Al l Soul sDay on Nov. 2. However, de-

spite the churchs adoption of

its own form of Samhain, it

still regarded the pagan holiday

itself as evil, giving rise to

one of many smear campaigns

against pagans and their holi-

days that have lasted through

the modern era. Because therise of the church led to grow-

ing suspicion of the pagan

ways of count ry dwel l e r s ,

Samhain also became associ-

ated with witches, black cats

( f a m i l i a r s o r a n i m a l

f r i ends ) , ba t s (n igh t c rea-

t u r e s ) , g h o s t s a n d o t h e r

spooky things...the stereo-

type of the old hag riding the

brooms ti ck is simply a c ar ica-

t u r e ; f a i r y t a l e s h a v e e x -

pl oi te d th is im ag e fo r ce nt u-

ries, Aloi explains.

Samhain as i t was once

practiced i s not totally extinct.

However, as most modern pa-

gans, witches, and Wiccans still

regard the day as one of their

holiest. Divination, medita-

tion, harvest feasts, and somber

rituals in honor of the dead

characterize the modern, neo-

pagan version of Samhain.

Other cultures around the

world celebrate similar holi-

days, the most well known to

Americans as being the Mexi-

can El Dia de los Muertosorthe Day of the Dead. On this

day, which is celebrated on

Nov. 1, families around Mexico

set up elaborate altars in honor

of departed loved ones consist-

ing of skeleton f igur ines ,

candles, photographs, flowers,

and favorite dishes of the de-

ceased.

Nicole MaasNews Editor

The doorbell rings, and a

man answers it. Here stands

this plain but well dressed kid,

saying Trick or Treat!

The man asks the kid what hes

dressed up like for

Halloween.

The kid says, Im an IRS

agent. Then he takes 28% of the

mans candy, leaves, and doesnt say

thank you.www.jokecenter.com

BEST HALLOWEEN

COSTUME

Judges are needed for the

Central High Speech and De-

bate tournement that will be held

on the MSU-Billings campus on

Nov. 15. Judges will need to be

available to meet on Nov. 14, at

7 p.m. for a breif meeting.

No experience needed to be

involved, judges must be 20 orolder. Lunch will be provided.

MSU-Billings students,

faculty and alumni are en-

couraged to judge and assist

with tournament details.

Please contact Janna Huhtala

at 698-0810, or Noelle Clark

at 661-3695 before Nov. 1 if

you are interested. in helping

PressRelease

Students Needed to Judge

Drumm

inUpBusiness

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

6/20

Ikuko Valgenti is an interna-

tional student hoping to help other

international students at MSU-B.She is from Kumamoto, Japan,

which just happens to be

Montanas sister state. There are

many exchange programs from

Kumamoto to Montana, and

Valgenti wants to encourage more

students from Japan to come to

Montana to continue their educa-

tion. Thats why she is a consult-

ant to the director of international

studies at MSU-B. They hope to

promote the online classes, as well

as to achieve more diversity on the

MSU-B campus itself.Valgenti tried to take some

online classes last spring and had

to take an incomplete. As a per-

son from another country, there

were many things she did not un-

derstand, and there was not enough

feedback to get her on the right

track. That is one thing she would

like to fix for the foreign students

coming up after her. Now that she

attends classes in person, she says

that it is much easier, because shecan ask questions if she does not

understand. Valgenti

laughs about her com-

munications professor,

Dr. Gross who tells

many jokes in the

class but she doesnt

quite understand

but they must be funny

because all the other

students laugh.

While Valgenti is flu-

ent in English, she

doesnt feel she is able to manipu-late the language well enough to

understand American humor.

Valgenti enjoys talking with

the other Asian students at MSU-

B, mostly because they can speak

her native language of Japanese,

which, incidentally, she still

dreams in. Shes waiting for one

day when she might have a dream

in English. She says its just the

common bond of coming from the

same country that makes it so com-fortable to talk to other foreign stu-

dents. They face a lot

of the same issues and

its good to realize

that. That is why

Valgenti is trying to

help the international

studies program grow.

Of course, MSU-B has

the smallest number of

foreign students out of

the state universities in

Montana.

Valgenti loves living in theUnited States, even though it took

her about 13 hours on three planes

to get here. She was teaching En-

glish in Kumamoto, where she met

her husband, who was her Ameri-

can teaching assistant. In Japan

almost every school has English

classes starting from the age of 12

on up. She married Victor Valgenti

in Japan, and then they decided to

move back to America. She says

that before 9/11, all of her friendswere very happy to see her move

to the states, but after that, their at-

titudes changed dramatically. Af-

ter 9/11 occured Valgenti said, All

of my friends would say, Are you

crazy to go to America, Its too

dangerous over there! Valgenti

ignored their admonitions and

moved to American in November

of 1999.

Valgentis husband is teaching at

the College of Technology while she

finishes her education. While she

misses the fresh fish of Japan, she cer-tainly feels more free in the United

States where she is not automatically

expected to pour tea and fall into the

traditional roles of women. She loves

America and hopes to help other for-

eign students appreciate it as well.

Good luck Ikuko!!

Betsy HarrisReporter

For those students who

have not been enlightened to

the wonders of the MSU-Bill-ings Temple of Knowledge,

a tour of the MSU-Billings Li-

brary wi th Brent Ro bert s

The Library Guymust be

arranged. So far this semester,

689 students in 35 different

classes have been taken on

the nonstop break-neck thrill

ride through the MSU-Bill-

ings Library, because the im-

portance of care.

Incoming f reshmen, as

well as veteran students, may

benefit from an explanation of

the multitude of programs of-

fered at the library. For start-

ers, the brick and mortar library

is open for 85.5 fun filled, fan-

tastic hours per week, but

digital information can be ac-

cessed through the MSU-Bill-

ings Library 24/7 via the

Internet. During these open

hours, there is always a mem-

ber of the eli te , crack, com-mando team, available to

answer s tudent

q u e s -

tions.

Information tradition-

ally found on the paper

card catalog is now ac-

cessed through a com-

puter and is linked withnine other libraries

within the Montana

University Sys- tem.

This is a tremen- d o u s

resource to stu- dents, be-

cause copies of bound books can

be obtained through the extensive

inter-library loan system. This

free service allows students to ob-

tain current information from a na-

tionwide pool of resources.In addition, the li-

brary subscribes

to several data-

ba se s from

which full text

articles can be

accessed and

printed for student

research from numerous

publications.

Recent additions to

the Temple of Knowledge

include an upgrade of the

computers in the InformationCommons. Four years ago, the

first floor of the library was

transformed into a huge com-

pute r workroom for studen ts .

This past summer, all of the

dated machines were replaced

Getting To Know You... Ikuko Valgenti

with cutting edge, full-function-

ing Dell computers, each with

DVD burners for student use.

Students can utilize the machines

in the Information Commons towrite papers, complete online

classes, create presentations, and

access the Internet. The library

also offers 10 notebook comput-

ers complete with wireless net-

work access from anywhere in

the Temple of Knowledge.

The library has also seen

improvements to the furnishings

found throughout the building.

Tattered furniture on all three

levels of the library has been re-

placed with a ttract ive and com-

fortable sofas, arm chairs, andlove seats. Also funded through

student-initiated grants, these

improvements foster an inviting

environment for students to

spend time in THE TEMPLE

OF KNOWLEDGE.

Brent RobertsA Conversation with THE LIBRARY GUYJeremy SeidlitzStaff Writer

Ikuko Valgenti poses for

her current Visa photo.

1. Join PETA and try to get

people to stop fishing.

2. Think Billings Deacon-ess Clinic will EVER get your bill

correct.

3. Freak out when you see a

huge animal with horns on top of a

truck with a gun hanging in the back

window in full view (yes, its legal).

4. Be a vegetarian (it just

doesnt work here).

5. Think you wont get busted

speeding just because the only thing

you would ever hit is a cow.

6. Drive in the Heights at

5 p.m.

7. Try to keep your car clean

in the snow, slush, mud, snow, slush,mud season.

8. Think all of your friends

from out of state will want to take

three planes and pay $1000 to come

visit you.

9. Call anyone after having

a few.

10. Talk with that North

Dakotan accent. (Its been done!)

Betsy HarrisReporter

10 Things NOT to do in Billings

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

7/20

This space is the new home

for the Montana State University-

Billings Law Enforcement Linkto the Campus Community. It

will be a regular feature in The

Retort and is provided as an in-

formation source of unlawful ac-

tivities and how to prevent them

from occurring on or near the

MSU-B campus.

Well also print timely re-

minders regarding safety and se-

curity issues, concerns of campus

police and issues that you may alert

us to. If you have an issue related

to campus security and safety

youd like to see addressed, e-mailus at: retort@msubillings.edu

Due to getting a late start on

this feature, a few items will be

reviewed from earlier this year.

10-3-03 With the school

year just getting started, bicycle

thefts are on the rise. Already this

year, several thefts have been re-

ported. Campus police would like

to suggest you consider storing

your bike in your dorm room over-

night, and remind you that its best

to spend the extra money for a high

quality lock. MSU-Billings is an

open campus and anything not

pr op er ly secu red, in cl ud ing

laptops, books, cell phones, por-

table stereo equipment, etc., are all

prime targets for petty thieves.

10-3-03 There have been

several drug related reports filedon campus, including charges of

Possession of Dangerous Drugs,

Possession of Drug Paraphernalia,

and underage drinking incidents.

Some of these are

forwarded for

d i spo-

sition to

Housing; others resultin arrest and detention. Ive

never met anyone in jail that said

they thought their crime was worth

the punishment. Perhaps youll

want to think about that before you

think that high might be worth

some time at the local gray bar

motel.

10-3-03 A report of Sexual

Intercourse Without Consent has

been filed on campus and is being

investigated by the appropriate au-

thorities. No further information

is available as of this writing.

10-3-03 A weapons viola-

tion has been logged and a knife

that exceeds the legal length or 3

inches has been confiscated.

10-3-03 A Stalking incident

was reported, apparently having

occurred off campus but involvingat least one MSU-Billings student.

Campus police, along with Bill-

ings finest, are continuing the in-

vestigation.

10-3-03 An item of art

work has been reported

stolen from a cam-

pus building.

MISCELLANEOUS MIS-

DEMEANORS:

There have been many

parking citations issue d since

school began. The normal fine for

parking in a space not authorized

starts at $10.00 per occurrence and

can be as high as $100.00. There

are approximately 2,600 student

parking spaces available. Campus

Security performs daily surveys

and report that at any given time,

you can find at least 150 available

spaces.

Several personal vehicles

have been damaged by BBs.

Reports of miscellaneous

disturbances, criminal mischief,

privacy in communications, Tres-passing, etc, have been received

and dealt with as was necessary.

To access the Jeanne Clery

Disclosure of Campus Security

Policy and Campus Crime Statistics

Act, go to: www.msubillings.edu/

security.

COMMENTS FROM THE

CHIEF Its important that you are

aware of your surroundings and the

people who inhabit them at all

times. Never allow someone

you dont personally know into

the dorms. If you notice suspi-cious activities or persons on or

near campus, dont assume some-

one else will handle it. Immedi-

ately notify a Resident Advisor or

call Campus Security. This will

help us in doing our jobs of keep-

ing our campus safe and secure.

If an individual or student

group would like a refresher ori-

entation regarding campus secu-

rity and crime prevention prac-

tices at MSU-Billings, all you

have to do is call Campus Po-

lice for an appointment at ex-

tension 2147. Well be glad to

give our presentation.

Police Blotter 10-03: Unusual and Usual SuspectsRon DeYoungStaff Writer

Public Service Announcement:

Montana Fair Housing and Alliance Property Management of Bozeman are co-sponsering a workshop from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00

p.m. on Nov. 13, 2003, at the GrandTree Inn in Bozeman, Montana. Topics include an overview of the federal and state Fair

Housing Acts, and an overview of the Americans With Disabilities Act and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. The

workshop is approved for four mandatory credit hours by the Montana Board of Realty. Registration must be completed by Nov.

5th. The cost is $30.00 per person. Please contact Pam or Bob at 406-542-2611 or 1-800-929-2611 for registration information.

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

8/20

Every semester students pay

a $13 recreational fee when they

make fee payments to the school.What does this buy students? Ac-

cess to the fitness center, racquet

ball courts, basketball courts, and

swimming pool.

The fitness center shares the

same hours at the racquet ball

courts and basketball courts.

They are: Mon through Thurs

from 6 a.m. to 10:30 p.m., Fri

from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., Sat from

10 a.m. to 4 p.m., and Sun from

2 p.m. to 8 p.m.

The swimming pool is full-

sized, equipped with diving

boards. Separate times exist forboth lap swimming and recre-

ational swimming. Lap swim-

ming runs from noon to 1:30 p.m.

Mon through Fri, 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.

on Mon and Wed, 6:00 p.m. to

7:30 p.m. on Tues and Thurs,

11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. on Sat,

and 4:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. on Sun

Recreational swimming, where

you can go and just have fun with

your friends jumping off the div-

ing board, is from 7:00 p.m. to 8:00

p.m. on Mon and Wed, on Sat from

1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m., and on Sun

from 2:00 p.m. to 4 p.m.The gym is state-of-the-art

with several treadmills, stair mas-

ters, s tationary bicycles, free

weights, as well as whole set of

machine weights.

Currently only students, fac-

ulty, gold-card alumni, and booster

sponsors are the only ones allowed

to use these facilities. Gold-Card

alumni and booster sponsors will

pay about $45 for the use of the

fitness facilities.

The recreations activities

office isnt open to the general

publ ic because they are toobusy taking care of students

and faculty.

Considering all that stu-

dents get to use for $13 a se-

mester, it is a very reasonable

deal. No where else in town can

students make good use of a fit-

ness center, racquet ball courts,

basketbal l courts, and swim-

ming pool for such a small fee.

Brett HarrisonStaff Writer

MSU-B Fitness Center: What You May Not Know

In todays busy working

world, many students probably

wonder how they are going to at-

tend school with a job, family, and

bills to pay. Online classes have

been the answer for many students

such as myself.

But just like any other class,

you will need to have the correct

tools to have an enjoyable and suc-

cessful online learning experience.

If you are thinking about taking an

internet class at MSU-B, dont run

out and convince your folks to buy

you a brand new Dell, you wont

because need anything brand new.

You will need to have a computerwith the following requirements:

Windows 95, 98, XP, NT, 90 MHz

Pentium or faster processor, 16 MB

of RAM or more, 28.8 kbps modem

or faster, sound card, and speakers.

If you are using a Mac then you will

need Mac Os 7.5.1 or Later, 90

MHz Power PC processor or faster,

16 MB of RAM or more, 28.8 kbps

modem or faster, sound card and

speakers. You will also need an

internet connection, email, and

some basic computer skills. I rec-

ommend having Microsoft Office

XP professional for some courses.

Other then those basic require-

ments, you are set.

MSU-B offers a variety ofonline classes for just about every-

thing you could imagine. Online

classes seem to be the answer for

many people who have full time jobs

and to students who live out of town

or even out of the country.

I have taken many online courses

since my enrollment at MSU-B and I

find that most of the classes are worth

the extra money because of the free-

dom of being able to do your home-

work at any hour of the day or night. I

also find them to be more relaxing than

traditional courses at a university. The

overall environment of the class is,

most of the time, structured in a fash-

ion that is both convenient to the stu-

dent and to the instructor. If youare thinking about taking an online

class you first should know that

you do need to have a lot of time

to set aside to finish your work. I

have found that most classes that

are taught online are typically a lot

more tedious and time consuming

than a regular class. There is usu-

ally a lot more writing and a lot

more insight and participation

from the student. If you need to

contact an instructor you will

typically have to wait for a re-

sponse from him or her. However,

I believe that for the most part,

the online learning experience is

a very good one.

Christopher SnowTech/Webmaster

Cyber Classroom: What to Know About Online Classes

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

9/20

In a trend that continues to

grow, non-traditional students ac-

count for 60 percent of the MSU-B student body for the fall 2003

semester. This figure is up seven

percent from spring of 2003. Ac-

tually, non-trads have outnum-

bered trads by around five per-

cent for at least the past three

years, but this year it is up to ten

percent.

Students from the ages of 17

to 21 are considered traditional stu-

dents, and anyone else is consid-

ered a non-traditional student.

Jacquie Reynolds, a 20-yr-old

sophomore, is technically consid-ered to be a traditional student, but

being married with a baby, she

feels a bit more non-traditional.

She is in school for the education,

not the social life. Like she says,

Its not high school anymore.

Kristie Ziegler, a feisty trans-

fer from the University of Mon-

tana, where the non-trad percent-

age is much lower, might disagree

just a lit tle with Jacquie. She

claims that U of M catered more

towards 20-year-olds like herself

and the teachers didnt treat every-one like they were older. She feels

Missoula is much more diverse,

with more people from out-of-

state, and there is more cohesive-

ness in the student body. Kristie

doesnt want to offend anyone, but

she says joking, I dont want to

act like Im still in high school, butIm not 30 years old yet! Kristie

thinks a foot-

b a l l

team would

probab ly

h e l p

s c h o o l

s p i r i t .

T h e r e s

day care forthe non-trads,

so why not a foot-

ball team for the

trads?

M a t t h e w

Pipinich, an RA for Petro

Hall where there are both trads and

non-trads, says he feels the non-

trads bring a different perspective

to the classroom and he enjoys it.

He says while there are always a

few rowdy older people, generally

the non-trads set a better example

for the younger tenants whichmakes for a more mellow hall. He

thinks that overall the non-trads are

more respectful as occupants.

How do the teachers feel

about traditional students versus

non-traditional students? Marilyn

Preston, professor of psychology,

feels the non-trads may be a bitmore goal-oriented, but that basi-

ca l ly

e v -

eryone is

here to get an

e d u c a t i o n

and improve

their lives

t h r o u g h

various op-

p o r t u n i t i e s .

She also points out

the programs that help

women with childrensuch as the daycare cen-

ter and school scheduling

coinciding with the local

school systems. Another

teacher, who wishes to remain

anonymous, feels a bit differently.

He finds that non-trads are gen-

erally better prepared, participate

more in class and seem to value

their education just for the sake of

learning much more than the

younger people, probably because

they are paying for it themselves.

Having said this, he added, Thatis a generality and not a rule.

An anonymous student from

the education program notes that,

older people with kids think

they know how to teach just be-

cause they have children. It re-

ally bugs me when they act so

much more qualified than mejust because Im only 21. At

the same time, a non-trad

mother of three says, I dont

think Im any better than any-

one else, but when I see the

younger kids not taking advan-

tage of so many opportunities,

it drives me crazy!

There are definitely dif-

ferences in traditional versus

non-traditional students, but

everyone at MSU-B is taking

a positive step in their lives by

getting an education and im-pr ov in g th ei r op po rt un it ie s.

Would a football team be bet-

ter for the school than a

daycare center? That has yet

to be debated, but it wouldnt

be the trads and the non-trads

debating if it were. Many stu-

dents would like both. MSU-

B may not be ethnically or geo-

graphically diverse, but it cer-

tainly has a student body with

open minds and a diversity of

ideas. Maybe one idea is ,

What exactly is traditional ornon-traditional? Maybe the

labels should change or even

cease altogether.

Traditional vs Non-Traditional Students: Whats the DifferenceBetsy HarrisReporter

Amy WhittleAd Manager

I have compiled the top

four books from http://

www.hedgehogbooks.com top ten

lists. Their top ten lists are broken

down into two big categories Read

Aloud and Read Alone. These cat-egories have their own sub-catego-

ries. Read Aloud is broken into

books for little ones, early read-

ers, and fluent readers. Read Alone

is also broken into books for early

readers and fluent readers.

READ ALOUD

Books for l ittle ones

Counting Kisses

By: K. Katz

Goodnight Moon

By: Margarret Wise Brown

Grandfather Twilight

By: B. Berger

Guess How Much I Love You

By: Mcbratney/Jeram

Earl y Readers

Book!Book!Book!

By: Bruss/Beeke

Doctor De Soto

By: W. Steig

George and Martha

By: J. Marshal

Going Someplace Special

By: Mckissack/Pinkey

Fluent Readers

Any Small Goodness

By: T. Johnston

A Wrinkle in Time

By: LEngle M

FrindleBy: A. Clements

Harry Potter and the Scorers Stone

By: J.K. Rowling

READ ALONE

Ear ly Readers

Magic Tree House: Dinosaur Before

Dark

By: Osborne/Murdocca

Frog and Toad are Friends

By: A. Lobel

Good Night, Good Knight

By: Thomas/ Plecas

Gorillas: Gentle Giants of Forest

By: Milton/ Barnard

Fluent Readers

Among the Hidden

By: M. Haddix

Artemis Fowl: The Artic Incident

By: E. Colfer

Bridge to Terabilthia

By: K. Paterson

Bud, Not Buddy

By: C. Curtis

Childrens Reading List

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If you would like to advertise with The Retort Classifieds, contactVal or Amy at 657-2194. $7.50 for 4 lines, $2.50 each additional line.

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

10/20

With so many student clubs

and organizations on campus, it

can be hard to decide which ones

you would like to be involved with.

Here are a few of them and a de-

scription of what they do.

American Chemical Society

This organization concen-

trates on public outreach and edu-

cation. They put on magic shows

for area schools and will perform

their show at the Deaconess Sci-

ence Expo. One of their goals is to

recruit future science students.

Anyone can be involved, but mostof the members are majoring in the

science field.

Jacket Student Ambassadors

This is a leadership program

whose members work with admis-

sions to lead campus tours, men-

tor, and help out with preview

days. There are currently 30 am-

bassadors who had to apply and in-

terview for the group. They are

currently working on a committee

to learn the financial aid process

so that they can help out with the

payment process next semester.

Student Opportunity Ser-

vices Activities Club

This club is planning a holi-

day dinner to be held in Dec., but

they are running into problems

with Sodexho and food prices.

Anyone can be involved, and they

are looking for members who are

willing to volunteer their time to

make a change.

Percussion Club

This club holds meetings ev-

ery Tues and Thurs at 2:00 p.m.

Music funds have been cut, andmany schools can no longer take

music students on field trips, so,

in addition to competing with other

colleges, this group travels to area

schools to perform. They also fo-

cus on recruiting students to the

MSU-Billings music department.

Potters Guild

This club raises money for the

ceramics department to pay for

guest speakers and equipment.

Ceramics students are involved,

and they meet every Tues. They

will have a sale on Oct. 21 and 22

in the SUB atrium. Sales function

to bring artists together and to raise

money for a better studio.

Environmental Awareness

Club

This club functions to pro-

mote the environmental studies

program. The members recently

attended a wildlife conference in

Yellowstone National Park. Any-

one can get involved, and they

meet every Wed at 10:45 a.m. in

the environmental studies office on

the second floor of the Liberal ArtsBuilding.

Catholic Campus Ministry

This group holds student

Mass every month. They also have

discussion nights the second and

fourth Tues of every month. They

also construct humor carts for pa-

tients at St. Vincents Hospital and

hope to get the entire campus in-

volved. They are gathering items

like books, movies, and comics for

the carts.

United Campus Ministry

This group offers studies,

groups, and gatherings for anyone

who wants to attend. Food is pro-

vided, and its a chance to make

friends, develop community, and

ask questions about faith. They

meet for bible study at noon on

Tues and Wed in the SUB atrium

and at 5:00 p.m. on Thurs on the

fourth floor of Rimrock.

The Retort

The Retort staff works to

bring you news every two weeks

that is important to the MSU-B

student body. Anyone can be in-volved in the Retort, and several

posi tion s are offe re d such as

writing, photography, editing,

layout/design, cartoonists, and ad

managing. There are still a few

positions open, so pick up an ap-

plication in front of the Retort

office.

Thank you to those of you

who got back to me about your

club or organization.

Jessalyn RemingtonStaff Writer

Campus Beat: Know Your Campus Organizations

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

11/20

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, You aregoing to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know

everything about you. The frog says, This is great! Will Imeet her at a party, or what? No, says the psychic. Next

semester in her biology class. found at egomania.nu

Technologies Effect On NatureWe take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings aresquare, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers dont fing,grocers dont groce, and hammers dont ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isnt the plural of booth beeth? Onegoose, two geese. So, one moose, two meese? One index, two indices?Is cheese the plural of choose?If teachers taught, why didnt preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?Have noses that run and feet that smell?Park on driveways and drive on parkways?How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?Now I know why I flunked my English. Its not my fault the silly language found at egomania.nu

Accidents happen, but nothings

worse than the unexpected...

taken from e-mail

comedyzone.netcomedyzone.netcomedyzone.net

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

12/20

Whether this is your first year

in college or your last, somewherein the back of every college

students mind is that highly an-

ticipated, annual ritual every

March, commonly known as

Spring Break. To some this means

the ultimate college vacation on

white sand beaches

in Cancn or

dockside at Lake

Havasoo, while to

others it is simply a

week of relaxation,

or maybe a chance to

get a jump start onthose upcoming pa-

pers and finals.

Well, what if I

told you that through

Montana State Uni-

versity-Billings you

could have the best

of both of these

worlds. I know Ive

just gotten many ini-

tial reactions questioning the edu-

cational aspect, however, I do not

want to demean the educational

value of the unimaginable oppor-

tunity that this article is about to

explain.

Get ready. Im talking about

last years addition of Intercultura

Costa Rica to the list of study

abroad opportunities at MSU-B.

After working hard to be the

guinea pig, so to speak, of the new

program during spring semester

2003, I returned knowing that all

the planning and participation was

worth it. I was ready to recom-

mend Costa Rica to anyone andeveryone. I encourage you to keep

reading!

I related my experience to

spring break because, to me, that

is really what it was: the perfect

semester long vacation that in-

tegrated all the things that a new

place, country, and culture have to

offer. In this case, beaches, rain

forests, volcanoes, exotic plants

and animals, and amazing people

and customs, just to name a few.

Of course, those of you who have

seen E! Wild On: Costa Rica,some of Costa Rica is fun. My

main point is that I experienced all

this on incredible levels while re-

ceiving credits and finishing my

degree in spanish. To get one thing

clear, though, in no way should you

need spanish language credit to go

to Costa Rica. A majority of the

people that I met there had never

spoken a word of spanish before.

They were there for the experience

and that is a great attitude to have.

So here is a little about the In-

tercultural program: It is a smalllanguage school in Heredia, Costa

Rica, about 20 minutes from the

capital of San Jos. Heredia is ac-

tually known for being one of the

nicest cities in Costa Rica, and I

would say that the school ranks

right up there as well. You will also

find the second largest university

there, which adds to the diversity.

It is most common to stay

with a host family. In my opinion

this was one of the best parts, hav-

ing had a diving-certified

host sister my age; a hilari-

ous older brother; a Latin

ballad-singing father, and a

die-hard Elvis fan as a fam-

ily friend. And nothing

beats a night of watching

soccer with la familia.

One of the reasons that

drew me to this particular

program is because twotimes a month you have the

option of going to their

Smara beach school for the

week, where you can live

with a host family, or stay

in an air-conditioned hotel. Dur-

ing the week, for example, you can

go surfing, take sunset horse back

rides, snorkel, have a bon fire, or

mingle with the locals over a game

of beach-side billiards. Your op-

tions are endless in paradise.

The school offers a variety of

classes in spanish at every leveland has an english program as

well, which allows you to meet

Tico (term for Costariccences) stu-

dents. The staff, the directors, and

the professors are wonderful. They

make you feel right at home and

are so easy to relate to that youll

be looking up to them in no time,

especially as they are dancing on

tables at a club or during Samaras

graduation. All kidding aside, ev-

eryone emanates a level of intelli-

gence and integrity that you cant

help but be drawn to and learnfrom.

The school also has daily

dance classes with an MTV video-

worthy professor that will turn you

into a salsa or meringue pro in no

time, weekly cooking classes that

put Marthas Kitchen to

shame (tortillas,

chorreadas, gallo pinto,

etc. Buensimo!), and

other weekly or weekend

activities. Each Friday

culminates with a huge

buffet of fresh fruits foreveryone and awards af-

ter each Fridays student

graduation. And of

course, since you are only

going to school either for

a short time in the morn-

ing or in the afternoon,

there is plenty of time for

fun.

The school has its

own in-school travel agent that ar-

ranges a multitude of tours all over

the country each week with your

own personal guide. I was flying

through and above rain forests at-

tached only to a cable, hiking hun-

dreds of meters to waterfalls,

nearly drowning from a leg cramp

while snorkeling, falling off stub-

born horses in torrents of rain, and

sipping cocktails at a swim-up bar

in thermal hot springs with an ac-

tive, lava-flowing volcano as a

backdrop. It would take pages to

relay the amount of things you cansee and do in Costa Rica outside

of school, but the memories are un-

forgettable!

Of course there is the common

stereotype that doing a study abroad

is expensive or completely

unaffordable, but in Costa Rica you

can do it all on a reasonable bud-

get. Paying MSU-Bs tuition leaves

you only with affordable room and

board and discretionary expenses

there; and thats the best part. You

can travel across the country for $5

or less, stay in motels or hostels forabout the same, and eat a full course

meal for around $2. Dave Thomas

eat your heart out! There are some

times, however, where you may

wonder what exactly it is that you

are getting such a good deal on.

Ive only mentioned Costa

Rica up until now, but much of the

rest of Central America is easily ac-

cessible. I also visited Guatemala

during Semana Santa, their re-

nowned Easter celebration, and bar-

gained religiously with taxis in

Nicaragua. I tried desperately to getdown to Panama as well, but I ran

out of time. Each country offers its

own unique culture that makes the

experience that much better. Speak-

ing of other countries, I also met stu-

dents from all over the world who

came to Costa Rica for all different

reasons from studying ecology or

biology, to work or school commit-

ments, even to get away from life

for awhile or to start a new one, and

of course, just for fun. I now have

invitations for Christmas in Ger-

many, New Years in Holland, Eas-

ter in London, and Spring Break in

South Africa!

There is no better

time then now to travel while

we are in college learning not

only about future careers, but

about life and ourselves. So

take advantage of this once-

in-a-lifetime experience. I

encourage you to spend a

summer, a semester, or a year

in Costa Rica and go to mar-

kets and museums in SanJos, dance to reggae music

on the Caribbean side or salsa

in the cities, help recover en-

dangered tortuga (tortoise)

eggs, take canal tours, and get

a tan, just dont feed the monkeys!

Above all, go with an open mind,

pack light, and leave room to grow.

Why settle for spring break when

you can break away from it all

studying in intriguing Costa Rica.

PURA VIDA!

College in Paradise: Studying Abroad with DeAnn AllenDeAnne AllenGuest Writer

Photo provided by DeAnn Allen

DeAnn & Worker at canopy tour of Rain Forest

(For more information on studying

abroad please contact the Office ofInternational Studies at 657-1705 or

apianca@msubillings.edu)

Photo provided by DeAnn Allen

Group of Intercultura students at the beach (Cobo Blanco)

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

13/20

HOW TO: Cope With the College Blues

Buzz! The alarm goes off. You

roll over and hit the snooze button.

You follow this process a few moretimes. Five minutes before class

starts, you jump out of bed in a

panic! Throwing on some sweat

pants, a t-shirt, tennis shoes, and a

hat, and you frantically scramble up

some half finished assignments and

bolt out the door to class. These are

just some of the common examples

of cause, effect, and the conse-

quences that go with the snooze

process.

Who gets college blues? Any-

one who has overloaded their

schedule with schoolwork, friendsor sports is susceptible to the col-

lege blues. Anyone with high ex-

pectations of themselves may ex-

perience a level of anxiety and de-

pression. People who have a fam-

ily history of depression, anxiety,

stress alcohol or drug abuse etc.can

inherit more than a student can

sometimes handle.

What are the college blues? A

lack of motivation some say, not

enough enthusiasm others say. They

are what make it so hard to leave

your bed each morning. They are

what keep you up at night, doing

homework late. They are the lists

that one goes through each night

while lying in bed, thinking about

all the next days tasks: sadness,

anxiety, or empty feelings, de-

creased energy, fatigue, loss of in-

terest or pleasure in usual activities,

difficulty concentrating, making

decisions, or remembering, in-

creased restlessness or irritability,

headaches or chronic pain that you

cannot explain, and sleeping issues(too much sleep, too little).

How do the college blues af-

fect day-to-day life? Sleep is very

important to stay healthy, but its

also very important to get your

homework done. The snooze pro-

cess makes you late for class, this

leads to falling behind in class,

which turns into more stress and ag-

gravation. Then a test or quiz pops

up one day and you receive a low

grade, causing depression and anxi-ety to do better, but how?

This is how to get over and

avoid the college blues in the future:

1. You should go to class ev-

eryday, go to bed early, and wake up

early. Lets say you do have a late

night studying, and your sleeping

hours are drastically cut down. Just

remember to take an Ibuprofen be-

fore going to bed. This will help in

the morning with the head ache and

muscle soreness associated with late

nights.

2. Get dressed for class, mean-

ing no scrubbing out in sweats. Talk

to people in the hall, in class and in

the lounges, which will build up al-

lies and acquaintances. Work out. It

releases positive enzymes into your

body and being physically fit will

also improve your outlook on life.

Meditating, visualizing and being re-

alistic are great ways of controlling

stress and college blues.3. Try to recognize when symp-

toms start occurring, such as your

room starts getting messier than

usual, your eating habits change,

your weight fluctuates, or you are

crankier than normal. Some ways

people try to mask their issues are:

alcohol, drugs, tobacco, or food,

practicing unsafe sex, or having sex

with regrets afterwards.

4. Go to sporting events around

campus. With so many athletic ac-tivities going on such as: mens and

womens basketball, soccer, cross

country, volleyball, cheerleading,

whatever Athletic events are a

great opportunity to get involved and

build up a healthy social life.

Changes in the weather can

cause moodiness in many people

(both men and women!). Many doc-

tors say that with winter coming,

more people are susceptible to be-

coming depressed and gloomy be-

cause they stay indoors and the lack

of sunshine.

When you are depressed, take

extra care of your hygiene. When

spirits are low, you are more suscep-

tible to catching viruses, so keep

your hands washed and drink lots of

juice and water. Eat right. This will

also tie in with working out and be-

ing fit. Make sure to keep your face

clean. Pimples cause more stress,

which in turn equals morepimples. Its a little known fact,

but people with short fingernails

are sick less often than those with

long fingernails.

Finally, make a schedule that in-

cludes alldaily and or weekly activi-

ties. For example:

This personal schedule will

keep things running smoothly if you

stick to it. It is possible to get life back

on track and still fit every activity into

it. The only problem is working outthe schedule so that it is functional. If

someone asks you to do something

that is just not possible with your

schedule, just say NO! Hard as that

may sound, try to prioritize.

If you still have questions or

other issues contact either Linda

Crummett or Judy Silverman in the

Student Health Services center, 657

2153. Where is that? you may

be asking. Located in Petro Hall,

you can enter the Student Health

Services through the door located

directly across from the dorm en-trance. Walk-ins are welcome, but

they appreciate appointments. The

professional counseling is confi-

dential and the couselors will work

one on one with you to make

changes where they need to be

made and help you understand what

is going on with your life right now.

Silverman wants to assure you that

it will not be a long wait at all.

She also said that they can make

accommodations in classes, and

teachers are real understanding in

this kind of situation.

The first step is realizing that

you can accomplish your goals in

school, work, socially, and in ev-

ery other aspect of life. All you have

to do is stick with it and push

through. College is a learning ex-

perience. What you study will not

necessarily be what you actually do

for a career. The friends you hang

out with will come and go as life

goes on. Use these emotions,

thoughts, and feelings of the college

blues as a learning experience. Asan individual it will test the will

power within. And it is possible to

accomplish any task that you put

your mind to. Basically just dont

burn yourself out, and remember

this is only one test, one stage in

the journey of life.

Linsey LindgrenStaff Writer

7/28/2019 75 Issue 3

14/20

In Sept. music lovers every-

where were stricken with the death

of a country music legend, The

Man in Black, Johnny Cash.

Cash, considered to be one of the

most influential men in music, not

just country but all genres alike,

will be missed by many and re-

membered through cover songs for

a long time to come. Many fellow

musicians accredit Cash for his

original sound and style that has

yet to be duplicated but attempted

many times. Prior to his death,

Cash did a cover ofNine Inch Nails

Hurt that gave good insight to

what his life was like and nearing

the end. Not only has the music

industry lost Cash but it has lost

many other greats throughout the

years.

Death is a tragic event that

happens too often to many peoplewho we consider gods in their field

of work. Its devastating when it

strikes close to home and leaves

and empty void when it is a friend

or relative. When the entertainment

industry loses someone we often

find ourselves asking why? Then

again, I think that we ask ourselves

why no matter who it is. Death just

seems so much more apparent

when it is someone famous, some-

one who is in the spotlight and will

continue to shine long after he or

she is gone.The saddest day in music his-

tory for many was the day the

King of Rock, Elvis Presley, was

found dead in his bathroom from

an overdose of pills. The legend

himself was gone and fans every-

where were sickened by the news.

The country shut down and many

went into their homes to mourn as

if he was a close relative. Then

again, he was; he came into homes

almost every night through televi-

sion and radio. The most played

and watched man was gone. An-

other death that people took almost

as hard was that of John Lennon

of theBeatles. Shot and killed, but

why? If people were so in love with

him and the rest of the Fab Five,

then why did one crazy person

have to go end it? Was it jealousy

was he so envious, that he couldnt

let Lennon go on? That we will

never know.

The rock bands from the 60s,

70s, and 80s seemed to have been

hit the hardest when it comes todeath. Guitar great Jimi Hendrix,

blues queen Janis Joplin, reggae

legend Bob Marley, Doors front

man Jim Morrison, blues rocker

Stevie Ray Vaughn, Queens

Freddie Mercury, AC/DCs Bon

Scott, John Bonham fromLed Zep-

pelin, almost the entire lineup from

Lynard Skynard, Jerry Garcia,and

way too many more to name. Why

the rockers? Was it their lifestyles,

coincidence, or just chance?

Many other genres have also

seen their share of loss throughoutthe years. Country singers Hank

Williams Sr., John Denver, and

Waylon Jennings are just a few of

those losses. Classic rock stars

such as Tom Fogerty from CCR,

Beach Boys Carl and Dennis Wil-

son, Mama Cass Elliot ofThe Ma-

mas and the Papas, Frank Zappa,

and also many more have passed

on. The classic case that I am sure

everyone is familiarized with,

whether from your parents, in a

class, or in an article somewhere

you are sure to have heard of them

would be Buddy Holly, The Big

Bopper, and Ritchie Valens. The la-

dies loved them and the men idol-

ized them, but a sudden plane crash

took them from the music scene.

The past has seen many losses and

has given us many gains, ranging

from classic songs to new comers

trying to repeat style.

From rock and rollers to rap

artists, favorites have been

snatched up and removed from the

earth, no longer to grace us withtheir talents and st