63/68 a visceral history part 2 (63 part 2)

8/14/2019 63/68 A Visceral History Part 2 (63 Part 2)

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Chapter Eleven1963-11 Do You Want To Know A Secret?

Do you want to come and play games with me and my friends Dave?No, I'm going to play Lego.All right then. But I'll be gone for a few hours.

Are you playing RISK again?Hmm, probably, maybe; depends what everyone else says.What about that game of Monopoly in our garage? Are you going to play

that?No, we're saving that for a rainy day, its got very complicated.Monopoly?Yeah, well some people have lots of hotels now, even two hotels on one

street, and it isnt obvious how we will get a winner. The four of us left in have allgot a lot of money. We're having to double the notes so we can play.

Double the notes? What's that?Oh one pound is two pounds. Ten pounds is twenty pounds and so on. Gives

us twice as much money to play with. We're all pretty rich. In the game anyway.Like Double Your Money!Yes it is Dave; like Double Your Money! Good joke...We are going to wait for a chance to play when we've got loads of time and

see if we can finish it in one go. I've never known a game go on as long as this.Well stop it then.But we dont have to this summer do we! We have several games on the go

in different places so we can play whichever game we feel like playing.I'm playing Lego; I'm going to build a fire station.

I headed off into Bilton, turning left happily at the top of the street towards

Jimmy's. We could only play in the front room at Jimmy's and that soon got prettycrowded, so we would probably have to play Go, as we had worked out how toplay it in there. A couple of the RISK fanatics wanted to play RISK all the time as itwas the hot new game so that was a possibility too. If we played RISK though itmeant a longer session and not every twelve-year old in Bilton could stay out longenough to conquer the world, or even invade a quiet part of the Kamchatkapeninsula. We played GO by rules we had made up when we didnt understandthe ones that were printed on the box and somehow we managed to keep bothgame play areas going on in parallel. Everyone loved that, so it always gave us acouple of good hours of fun. Jimmys front room got really hot and we got overexcited. We always finished within the time we had available as well. It was

intense, we all got to meet up and it helped the summer evenings, which werenow drawing in, go by in a series of short, sweet and memorable sessions playinggames.

Listen, Do you want to know a secret?Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas! I cried cheerfully on entering Jimmy's

Do you promise not to tell?Whoah No! It isnt! Tony sang it back, contradicting me.

63/68 A Visceral History by Fred Garnett; Chapters 11-20 January 16th 2010


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Closer, let me whisper in your earTony is that you? So it must be the Beatles then! Is that George on vocals?

Say the words you long to hearOf course it's George, you're quite hopeless sometimes. Haven't you heard

this before?

I'm in love with youNo I haven't! He's very distinctive isnt he? Have you brought the album

over then Tony?Of course not, that never leaves the house, but I've brought the EP over to

cheer you all up. You get far too serious about the games. And you play too manyof them. When I got you lot together it was meant to be fun, not so serious andtime-consuming.

I'm glad you are here! Are you staying with us for the whole game?If we're playing GO I'm staying for the whole game, anything else and I'm

going. I dont have hours to waste playing games with you lot.Right, then GO it is everybody!

The Games Club we'd set up that summer meant that we had half-a-dozen qualitygames to choose from as each of us had at least one distinct decent game, andwe had half a dozen different locations across Bilton in which to play them, whichgot us out of the house much to our parents mutual delight. Dinky had droppedout of the club when the rest of us had mocked Totopoly, his favourite game, forbeing a game that didnt require any skill. I ask you, what skill is there in turning aclunky wheel round and round in order to shake metal horses and jockeys across abit of green cloth? None whatsoever. And the same horses kept falling over as well

so it was miserably predictable. No skill, no strategy, no chance to make adifference to the outcome, and you couldnt even mess around with the rules as itcould only worked one way.

GO? Wait we havent discussed this yet. Is everyone here?Looks like it if Tony and Fred are here.Come on lets play RISK instead.

No Go! Why do we always play Go at Jimmy's?It's coz his Mum comes back early from work.I want to play RISK too.RISK is pretty boring you know, it's always the same

No it isnt.Yes it is, the pattern is always the same, its exciting at the start, when we

are all picking up and losing territories, but then the pattern sets in and...There isn't a pattern to RISK, what pattern are you talking about?There is only one way of winning. You have to get hold of one of the two key

continents and then you can start controlling the game.Oh yeah, you do! Never thought of that.So the game ends up being between which ever two of us get the key

continents. After an hour you know if you are in with a chance of winning or not



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and that's it really.Yeah, that's true sometimes, but there are other strategies you can use.Put it on again Tony, I want to hear all of it properly.

Brannnggg,You'll never know how much I really love you

DIDLL DIDLL Brannngg, Branngg,You'll never know how much I really care...George really worked on his note there. Hes not as strong as John and Paul is he?

Listen dmm dmm dmmhDo you want to know a secret?Do you promise not to tell?Woah WoahCloserLet me whisper in your earSay the words you long to hear

The words you want to hearI'm in love with you

Tell you what lets play Go now that there are all eight of us. The room isreally crowded. The RISK crowd can take over when we've finished.

But we wont get RISK finished tonight.No but if we start it off in Bill's garage we can finish it off at the weekend.OK! GO it is then.

And I wouldnt have to join in when RISK started either. Result!

Listen

Doo Dah DooOh is that John and Paul on backing vocals

Do you want to know a secret?Tony just looked at me

Doo Dah DooIt is John and Paul!

Do you promise not to tell?Tony continued looking at me with dismay, dumbfounded as I continued to

express my ignorance of all things Beatle.

Come on Tony this is the first time I've heard it. You've had it for ages

Doo Dah Doo woh ah woh ohI've had two copies of it for ages; I thought you were a Beatles fan!

Closer Doo Dah DooI didnt say anything



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Let me whisper in your earI cant believe you only recognise Billy J Kramer's copy.

Doo Dah DooI liked the style of the song with George being followed by John and, although the

sound was a bit thin for The Beatles.

Dinky's brother has Billy J Kramer's version

Say the words you want to hear I'm in love with youI've heard that down at Dinky's several times

Oh ahTony gave me another dismayed look

And Little Children I bet?

I've known the secret for a week or twoOK Fred, I'm going to tell you a secret

Nobody knows just we twoThe new Beatles record is out next week

ListenDoo Dah Doo

That's not a secret Tony

Do you want to know a secret?

Oh you do keep up with some things then

Doo Dah DooWell I am going to Banks to get it on the very Friday that it comes out.

Do you promise not to tell Doo Dah DooNext Friday? On the way back from school?

woh oh woh ohFirst thing in the morning, when I'm on the way in to school. I'm going to

get it at nine o'clock I hope. With a bit of luck I'll only be a few minutes late for

school.

Closer Doo Dah DooLucky? Why lucky, they'll have loads wont they?

Let me whisper in your ear Doo Dah DooLast time there was a queue when I went to buy it after school. The Beatles

singles were on the counter and they sold them non-stop till they sold out.



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Say the words you long to hearThey put the Beatles singles on the counter! How come?

I'd never heard that before

I'm in love with you!

No one was buying anything else that I could see, everyone was queuing tobuy the Beatles single. They just put them all on the counter because it waseasier for them. I'm betting that She Loves You sells even faster, so I am going into buy it on the way to school. It will be enormous, watch, everyone will buy it.

oh ho oh hoOh I hope so, I might get one then! She Loves You is that what it is called?

oh ho oh hoSo I did tell you a secret after all...



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Chapter Twelve1963-12 A Little Lovin

We're ready to go and get the fish and chips MumWhere are you going?Roche Avenue Fisheries! They're the best!

OK the moneys on the mantelpieceWe'll be a bit longer as its Roche Avenue MumOk twenty minutes, but not a moment longer. I'll set the table. Coffee?Yes please Mum.

For some unfathomable reason Dave and I only drank coffee. Tea gave me aninstantaneous headache and I later joked that because we'd been to China we'dhad enough of drinking tea. Not sure about Dave though, he always was a funnybugger.Gordon Avenue is a cul-de-sac. A curious word whose precise meaning botheredme for years. Can an Avenue be a cul-de-sac? I dont think so. You could run a

whole course in philosophy on that conundrum alone. However enigmatic the cul-de-sac/avenue dichotomy was in philosophy in real life it somehow provided aretreat from the world. We only needed to deal with reality when we reached thetop of the road. And then I felt like I was escaping to somewhere else.Mostly when we reached the limits of the Garnett Avenue Conundrum we turnedright and headed up into town or over to the recce, but from time to time weturned left; increasingly so for me as my friendship with Dinky developed. Turningleft at this time in 1963 however was a critical signifier to me and Dave. Weturned left when we were going to buy fish and chips. In the haddock-loving wakeof Poseidon known as Yorkshire, fish and chips were a deliciously scrumptiousthing of beauty with many hidden rituals and values, some of which I have

become slightly better acquainted with in later years. But even then Dave and Ihad our own fish and chips ritual. Despite our youth we already proudly walkedpast the nearest fish and chip shop in order to reach the fabulous Roche AvenueFisheries (which the number 11 bus inadvertently advertised on its destinationboard, so becoming the Fisheries bus and a long-standing private joke betweenDave and I). As a result I always preferred catching the Number 11 into town andback even though it was slightly more inconvenient as it looped the wrong wayround Bilton for us. Catching the number 12 always left me slightly dissatisfied,like picking the wrong cake in a German Konditorei. Besides in the numerology ofall things English 11 is the magic number. And both Dave and Dad were born inNovember as well, as their lottery numbers will attest to this day.

Being young and hungry our reason for travelling those many extra miles, aboutone hundred yards in grown-up steps in fact although we felt like we had travelledwell into the infinite beyond once we passed the first chip shop, was, sadly, for thequality of the chips not the freshness of the fish. Not very Yorkshire but Mum andDad always appreciated our efforts so the fish must have been good as well. Evenworse to admit was that our earlier globetrotting had taken us to Zandvoort(where I actually walked and ran on the Grand Prix circuit) where we had boughtchips covered with mayonnaise. Despite finding this hysterically funny at thetime, and foolishly continental thereafter, I had taken to eating my chips in the



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Dutch fashion with mayonnaise. However in those early years after the end ofrationing a good mayonnaise was hard to find and you had to make do with, yes,salad cream. Heinz salad cream mind you, perfect with chips and lettuce, as realgourmets know.Geoff and Jean, my aunt and uncle, lived in Thorne Moorends and to get toMoorends from Thorne you take the mile long Moorends Road which must have

been the Yellow Battered Road of fish and chips given the number of chippies onits banks. As late as the early 1990s I counted 13 fish and chip shops on this onemile of road. My favourite part being that two of them were side by side! Imaginea time when the queues for fish and chips were so long that they moved in nextdoor. Even so Geoff and Jean still insisted on one particular chippy. Mind you theycould have Plans B, C and D in Moorends without any extra effort.We also liked Roche Avenue Fisheries because the queue was always quite longand the shop was buzzing and full of life, what with all those people walking theextra miles to get there. People announced their need for haddock to be put on forthem as soon as they came in through the door, as well even more arcane choicesthat I never understood and cant remember. Freshly caught that morning and

freshly cooked that minute. I would eventually order the same when I grew out ofmy old Dutch affectations for (Heinz) salad cream on chips and started focusingon the fish instead.And the radio was always on, which gave us one or two songs to engage with aswe queued and all the comments about them to listen to as well. A real live localJuke Box Jury of our own to entertain us as we shuffled round the tiled walls.This time as we entered the fish and chip shop Frank Ifield was on. Again. Threenumber ones in a row, which I found difficult to work out. Although I quite likedthe songs, and Frank had a nice smile and looked like he kept a team ofhairdressers busy, they didnt sound like number ones to me.

Then, in unison, four joyfully sweet energetic voices leapt out of the transistorradio.A little lovin,A little lovingoes a long long long long wayA little lovina little lovingoes a long long long long way

Eh up! That's lively!Not arf as Alan Freeman would say.

I'll catch a train tonight about eightand I'll be gone for many a dayso give me something to remembera little lovin goes a long way

Wow! Twenty seven seconds in and I hadn't breathed it was scruff of the neckstuff from some beat group who topped it off with those wonderful harmonies. Youneeded decent harmonies to leap out of the kind of tiny speakers usually



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powering the transistor radios everyone used in those days. I never heard theBeatles bass lines at all until the 1990's. I never understood it when Barry Gibbonce said that his favourite Beatles song was Paperback Writer because of thebass lines! What bass lines? Most of us never heard them. It was the harmoniesthat scored on transistor radios.

I'm gonna miss you after I'm goneI'm gonna wish you'd asked me to stayso give me something to remembera little lovin goes a long way

The verses were a little less exciting than the opening, but the those harmoniesdrove the chorus on almost recklessly

A little lovin,A little lovingoes a long long long long way

A little lovina little lovingoes a long long long long way

Thats more like it lads! Give us everything that you can get out of that tinnyradio...

What's that bloody racket?It's those Beatles isnt it?Not the bloody Beatles again! They're bloody everywhere these days. They

need getting rid of those Beetles!

He screwed up his face to make sure we got the right meaning to his words.

Oh no the Beatles are bloody good Dick. Not sure about this lot though.Good harmonies this lot, that's why you think they sound like the Beatles.Tha's reight about them harmonies.

Phew that's a relief, doesnt sound like Dick will turn the radio off now.

I dont know where I heard it beforeI only know it is true what they say

so give me something to remembera little lovin goes a long way

Guitar break. A gloriously noisy racket based on a sequence of notes so randomthat John Cage would have approved of them, or even, somewhat later, WilkoJohnson.Dave and I looked at each other. He was smiling; the guitars had cracked the songopen for him.More Mersey Beat I whispered and we grinned at each other, whilst both



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forgetting the others and remaining sharply aware of our place in the queue. Fishand chips was a serious business and the matter at hand, Pop Musicnotwithstanding.

A little lovin,A little lovin

goes a long long long long wayA little lovina little lovingoes a long long long long way

Two minutes and five seconds; done and gone; Just a pair of Cheshire Cats left inthe fish shop licking the metaphorical cream off their lips as the batter sizzled onour suppers. We were out on the tiles.DRUMS AT THE END

Wow that's so good, a guitar solo for you and a drum solo for me.

Yes. I think I like that one.More Mersey Beat hey Dave? Another winner from Liverpool! Good thingthey dont have a decent football team.

They've got Everton!What?They've got Everton, Liverpool have EvertonOh yeah! They're not that good though. If the Beatles played football they

would win everything.What are you two herberts having?Fish and chips twice and fish cake and chips twice please.Did you herberts like that tune then?

Oh yes!Whys that then?The guitars, shouted out DaveCoz its a Mersey Beat group, was my offeringTwo haddocks Dick please

And so the rituals continued



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Chapter Thirteen1963-13 Do You Love Me?

That sounds good, what's he saying? Way Down Yonder in New Orleans.Where's New Orleans Dad?Its in America John.

Oh its just another American record.And not enough guitarsSounds good though. Records always sound good at the fairground. Do you

remember when we heard Apache for the first time at the Army Fair in GermanyDave?

Was it outdoors?Yes the big one we went to just before we left Germany. Dad didnt play

cricket that weekend for some reason.Apache is the best, lots of guitars.And lots of tom-tom drums.

Dave and I agreed completely about Apache. And fairgrounds.This was a great fair; on The Stray by the road to Leeds. Didnt feel like The Strayat all it felt like a fair and fairs brought mysteries from out of town, our two wayfamiliar favourites of rides and records; a completely irresistible combination. Iwas happy wondering round fairgrounds for hours as long as I was rewarded withcandyfloss at some point. I particularly liked to watch my very own stick ofcandyfloss being created out of thin air and a few specs of sugar, how did they dothat?I had developed my patented sideways eating style to make as little mess aspossible and keep Mum and Dad happy. Dave of course just chomped away rightthrough the middle and was not so pretty in pink by time he'd finished. At which

point his tongue began flailing away to suck up the remnants of caramelisedsugar on his face. We both loved candyfloss equally, but each in our own specialway.

What do you think Dave, time for candyfloss?No, the Dodgems!Outdoor Scalextric! Have you seen them then?I think they are over there.Mum, Dad, can we go on the dodgems? Dave's found them! They are over

there!! Please can we go on the dodgems, please, please?I want to go too said Dave. Which was always a good sign.

Go and find out how much they are John. I'm not paying more thansixpence.

I raced over to where Dave had said the Dodgems were just sixpence a ride. Ashilling for three goes. Agony! Could I persuade Dad to give up a shilling for Daveand I?

Dad it is sixpence a ride but its a shilling for three goes, that's a realbargain. That's four pence a ride each if we go three times. And we can go on



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them for hours.

Mental arithmetic was actually useful sometimes.

Hmm, how do you pay for it then?There's a ticket booth I think.

I glanced back quickly to confirm this

And you get tickets that you give to the man on the dodgems.What do you think Ann, is that a good deal?

I was playing on the fact that we Garnetts love a good deal.

Well Ron you know its their favourite, and it keeps them happy for ages.Alright John, this is the deal. You can have a shilling for the three tickets, but

that's it. So if you want to go on something else it will have to come out of that

shilling. Do you understand?Yes, DadAnd you cant go on the Dodgems three times in a row otherwise all your

money for the fair will have gone in one go. Understand?Err, Dave? Anything else you want to go on?Is there a Ghost Train?Oh no I'm not having David going on the Ghost Train. He has nightmares

afterwards.Ok John pop over to the dodgems and watch how they drive so you can pick

a good one. Your Mum and I will go and get the tickets and meet you there.

Dave and I started studying form. If you wanted to get a particular Dodgem youneeded to move smartish. Particularly if you wanted the fastest one.

What do you think Dave? What about that blue one, that seems prettyquick?

I like the red one.Is it fast?It's red like a Ferrari!But is it fast?Of course its fast, its red like a Ferrari!

Funnily enough we werent fighting off the roadhogs for the red car.As we got in the red one a strange shimmering bell-like sound floated over themomentarily quiescent dodgems. Then Brian Poole explained his problems inconfidence to all of us.

You broke my heartcoz I couldnt danceyou didnt even want me aroundBut now I'm back



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BOOM!to let you knowBOOM!that I can really shake em down

Hmm, sounds like more of that complicated teenage stuff again, a shake down

with a broken heart, how do you do that?

Duh Duh Duh DUH DUH DUH DUH!

A beaty introduction, that's more like it.

Do you love me?

And he's shouting not singing, this is noisy!

I can really move

Now do you love me?I'm in the groove

And the Tremeloes sound like they are a good backing group too

Well do you love me?Do you really love meNOW THAT I CAN DANCE

He sounds much happier now. I think Caroline likes dancing as well, she'll like this.

The grease monkey on the cars leaned over to collect our ticket.

Enjoy this lads, its Brian Poole and the Tremeloes. Really gets the birdsgoing if you know what I mean.

He swung over to a blue car with two pretty girls in it. My car.

Do you love me! Do you love me girls? No need to giggle, you're alreet herewith me. I can really shake em down too! Where's tha ticket? Ok luv, save it fornext time.

He grinned at them. Wolfishly I think its called. Oh no they'll never get outof the fastest car now if he doesnt take their ticket. I'll have to wait for ages toget a decent drive. I'll let Dave take the wheel next time and wait till those girlsget fed up with the ****** fairground man. Girls aren't bothered which Dodgemthey drive.

I can mash potatoI can do the twistNow tell me baby



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Do you like me like this

Well they like really that bloke with his mash and twist.The great thing about dodgems, apart from being a real form of outdoor Scalextricof course, is that you can hit other cars. In the early sixties this was as good a wayof chatting girls up as anything known to man; well teenagers at least. However

my great joy in the dodgems was getting in the fastest car and going as fast aspossible without hitting anything or being hit. I took the name literally. My joybecame unconfined as I got faster and faster without being snookered or hit byother dodgems. Of course if there was a pile up I might have to slow down andmanoeuvre my way out, which didnt count against me as it wasnt my fault. Andthen, like Toad, I'd be free on the open rink whistling away from catastrophe. Thistime however a blue car was in my sights and I might not reach that open whistle.

Duh Duh Duh DUH DUH DUH!Do you love me?Good for driving to as you can shout along with Brian Poole

I can really moveEven better in the blue car mind

Now do you love me?I'm in the grooveIn the pure and easy groove of our own outdoor Scalextric

Well do you love me?I hope they dont

Do you really love meNOW THAT I CAN DANCENow that we can play on the dodgems all day.

Hear that Dave?What?Brian Poole and the Tremeloes. Only a hit because of the Beatles.



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Chapter Fourteen1963-14 Sweets for My Sweet

Isn't this the Cafe where we heard Telstar two years ago?Well we have been here before John, you and David liked the food so much

we thought we'd come back again.Mum threw her head back and laughed her light ringing laugh at the verythought. I stuck to my theme tune.

I'm sure it was where we heard Telstar before. I recognise the transistor onthe wall.

So what do you want to eat then you two? Do you need the menu?

There was a pause. In our short lives it almost a long pause. We held it back prettywell but then, suddenly, we burst out laughing. Eyes ablaze we shouted outtogether, laughing into each others face.

Sausage Chips and Beans!!!With Tomato Sauce!With Brown Sauce!Oh Sausage Chips and Beans; I was wondering if you'd need the menu, said

Mum

DUM DUM DUH

Oh those drums sounds like Apache! Listen

Sweets for my SweetSugar for my honeyyou persweet kissthrills me soSweet for my sweetsugar for my honeyI'll never ever let you go

Dum der dum duh

Drums! Great drums...

Jingle jangle; dhmm, der dhmm der dhmm, Jingle jangle; dhmm, der dhmm derdhmm

Guitars! Great guitars...This is greatYes it is said Dave, agreeing with meWhat is it? Its completely brilliant listen



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glorious Blackpool. Blackpool was the Rolls Royce of seaside resorts and we hadslowly worked our way up to it. First Cleethorpes, then Mabelthorpe, then Hornseaand now the incomparable Blackpool. Curiously we never made it to smartScarborough.You had to earn your trip to Blackpool and we'd done the training so were 110%ready. First we went for the Illuminations, one very long Saturday the previous

Autumn, Dad driving across the Pennines on A roads through every town centretwice in a day before getting swallowed up by a thick fog on the way back. It wasan epic adventure; we didnt get home until well after three in the morning. Icould barely navigate even when I was awake, so I dont know how Dad drovesafely.

And I ask him to keep that sand apilingUntil your dreams had all come true

We didnt even start looking at the Illuminations until around nine o'clock in theevening and then the Golden Mile was just one solid traffic jam. In 1962! We'd

never seen anything like it. Blackpool was big, bright and very futuristic. Withtrams built and lit like spaceships, and other wonders of the modern world, it waslike a Worlds Fair at the seaside. We got to see all of the lights for ages and agesas we crawled along in our first proper traffic jam, stuck on the sea front in asuitably futuristic fashion. Even Dad didnt complain at the traffic with all ofBlackpool's wonders to behold.This time however we had come in the summer holidays to take advantage of theweather and the lack of Fog on the Pennines. Dave and I however were reallygood value for Mum and Dad as not only did we swear by Sausage Chips andBeans in the cheapest of back street cafes, or a convenient Chinese if we couldfind one, but we always insisted on going to the House of Fun. Pay once and stay

inside for hours. No Big Dipper for us. Yep travel across the Pennines all the way toBlackpool, the Pleasure Beach of endless choice, and we only went to two places.It was the House of Endless Fun as far as we were concerned. Everything wasfuelled by centrifugal force and gravity, very organic and completely healthy. Andyou could carry out tests on the difference between centrifugal and centripetalforces right on your very own body. Of course Mum and Dad always came backand dragged us out after we had been there for a couple of hours, just when wewere getting started. Parents! Always the same.

Sweets for my SweetSugar for my honey

you persweet kissthrills me so

Such a great chorus followed by a little riff of drums and guitars, this was musicfor the discerning Garnett guitar and drum boys. We sang along;

Sweet for my sweetsugar for my honeyI'll never ever let you go



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Dum der dum der dumJingle jangle; dhmm, der dhmm der dhmm, Jingle jangle; dhmm, der dhmm derdhmm

Oh now this really is a good record. I thought. At last another one, The Beatles

aren't on their own any more.

This must be a Mersey Beat song! What do you think Mum?She looked up from the menu. My parents never had any idea what to orderanywhere and always took AGES reading the menu!

What's that John?Do you like this record Mum, do you think they know The Beatles?I think everyone knows The Beatles now John, but yes I do like the record;

it's got everything hasn't it?What do you mean?

Drums and guitars (not stupid my Mum), good harmonies, memorable lyricsand you can hum along with it.And she did...

Ooh a ooh a ooh a ooh a ooh

Is that Mersey Beat then Mum?I'm not sure about that John, but it does have a good beat.Isn't he a good drummer?Yes John he is very good.And a good guitarist, added Dave. He is a good guitarist isnt he Mum?

Yes David he's a good guitarist too.

And if you wanted a love to last for everDarling I will send your love my wayand my love'd not only last foreverBut for ever and a day

I thought this was the first record I had heard since the Beatles that was by agroup that was playing at the same level as them. It was because it set off on acharge at the beginning and then didn't let up.

Sweets for my SweetSugar for my honeyyou persweet kissthrills me so

We were getting the sweets rammed down our throats with interest. Like Tonysaid, they were all doing something on the record.Sweet for my sweetsugar for my honey



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I'll never ever let you goOoh a ooh a ooh a ooh a ooh

And that's the Searchers, from Liverpool, with Sweets for My Sweet.Oohhh! From Liverpool, of course they are! I told you it was Mersey Beat.

Dad can we go back home through Liverpool this time? It cant be far from

Blackpool, can it Dad?What is what John?

My Dad was still working out what to order. In a caf!

Can we go home through Liverpool Dad, it isnt far, it's in Lancashire and weare in Lancashire.

It might not be far from here John, but I couldnt get you home tonight if wewent to Liverpool as well.

Oohhh! Dad.

Sweets for my Sweet, Sugar for my Honey

I sang along and smiled at Dave.

Will you want a sweet then, after your Sausage Chips and Beans John?No thanks Mum. Dont you think its great that someone written a song

about sweets, thats a proper song. With good drums. I think they are nearly asgood as The Beatles.



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Chapter Fifteen1963-15 Hippy Hippy Shake

Three Returns to Bradford pleaseYou lot paying together?No for ourselves

He looked at the three of us, each carrying our packed lunch and Michael with aflask as well as he had packed lunches everyday at school.

Off to see the cricket then?Yes, Park Avenue; we want to see Hampshire and Boycott. Do we need to

get another bus?Tha's like them youngsters then?Yes we do! But I know the way, said Michael, we can walk there.You can get a Number 4, I'll tell ye when to get off. Dont worry I'll set ye

reight, you wont miss any of Yorkshire's batting.

We'd already been to the Test match at Headingley but Dad had taken us. TheAustralians batted all day and the highlight of the day was a catch by the sub,Alan Rees of Glamorgan. They'd batted even longer at Manchester, not evenlosing a wicket on the first day of the Test. So we were off to see some youngYorkshire men get some runs for a change and this time we were on our own.Three young lads carrying their packed lunches getting the number 36 for the firsttime and expecting the bravery of others to see us right. Seven years later I'd beworking as a conductor on the very same bus in a very different mood but todaywas a glorious summer day and that horrible winter, if not the Australians, wasbehind us.

We got off where the clippy told us too but then Michael took over.

We can go this way and save the fare.Is it far?About twenty minutes I would guess. Come on.

I loved Michael taking charge, it was like being in an Enid Blyton story, or evenBiggles; we were heading off on a mad adventure.

For Goodness sake!Dinky let rip

I got the Hippy Hippy shakes

You're glad to be off the bus! What's that you're singing?The Hippy Hippy Shake. Its great.Hippy Hippy Shake? Who's it by?The Swingin Blue Jeans.Swinging Blue Jeans! What a great name! Where are they from?You two arent talking about pop music again, are you? interrupted Michael.



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Of course we are. Pop Music is very important. Anyway everyone likes it inour family so you've got to keep up. Well everyone except my Dad.

Same at our house! said Dinky, We all listen to pop music in our house,Mum's got the radio on all the time and our kid's got his record player and he'sgot loads of good stuff. They are from America.

Who's from America?

The Swinging Blue Jeans. Have to be with a name like that. Blue Jeans comefrom America. Our kids got some Levi's, he knows about these things.What are Levi's then?Jeans. Levis are jeans from America. You cant get them in Harrogate, he

had to go to Leeds to get them. They last for years, they never wear out, theyhave rivets on the pockets.

They have what on the pockets?Rivets, metal rivets, the pockets are rivetted to the jeans so they last

forever. Its so your pieces of gold dont rip the trousers

Michael and I looked at each other. More unbelievable teenage things. A bemused

silence overcame us at the rivetting news and we dutifully walked towards theground alongside Michael.

How long Mike?About ten minutes, look you can see the floodlights from here.Floodlights! At a cricket ground, are you sure?Course I am, the floodlights are next door at the football ground. The two

grounds are side-by-side.Oh! You know at Bramall Lane the Cricket Ground is inside the Football

Ground! My Dad took us to see Spurs there and they only had seats on three sidesof the ground. Jimmy Greaves got a hat-trick.

Of course he did, said Dinky who supported Spurs

hip hipI hope you two arent going to talk about pop music all dayNo said Dinky we're going to sing itI got the shakes, I got the hippy hippy shakesYou're not going to sing that Hippy song all flippin day are you Dinky?I think so. That Hippy Hippy Shakes is real music, all the way from America.

Anyway I cant get it out of my head. That's the point of pop music. Wait till youhear it you'll be the same. Its unforgettable. You'll definitely like it Fred. Its gotreally good drums.

We got ourselves into the ground, I bought a scorecard and we found ourselves aseat on the boundary in line with one of the wickets where we usually sat. Wewere fascinated by the twin grounds at Park Avenue, but needed to catch up withthe cricket. Michael had his green scorebook, he was very professional, andstarted scoring ball-by-ball right away. He kept his counsel when the match was inplay. With a scorecard I had to go and ask a couple of old duffers to help me catchup with the fall of wickets, there had been two and they made sure I copied thedetails down correctly. They agreed that Fred Trueman had been the star that



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the on side from him at all this morning, oh and there it goes again! Fred's beatenhim outside the off stump and Barber barely moved that whistled by so fast.Unlucky there Fred!

And you do that for the whole innings?Yeah of course! Because loads of things happen on dot balls, and then of

course when something actually happens it gets really exciting.

Like what?And just when Trueman was on top Barber steps across and drives him todeep long on, dont think it will go for four as Padgett's given chase and he shouldcut it off. Three to Barber there takes him on to 29 not out, Warwickshire still introuble at 53-3 thanks to Trueman's earlier efforts. Will he be rested before lunch Iwonder?

Must take hours.Oh not really, I write really quickly and I keep changing the rules to make it

more realistic, so there is lots to do.What are you two talking about?Cricket, scoring, OWZAT, dot balls.

Dot balls are boring. Get your sandwiches out its lunch!OK then. What have you found out?We can go and sit on the balcony and look over at the Football groundReally? Brilliant.

Later, in the closing session, we watched a wonderful opening partnership fromHampshire and Boycott, runs all over the place, mostly from Hampshire, turn thematch around. We agreed they were a dream partnership and much better thanwatching the Aussies at Headingley.Dinky was inspired by Boycott's forward defensive that day and thereafter used itto take 20 minutes to get his first run, even when playing against just the two of

us! It was so boring that sometimes Michael and I refused to bowl to him. Imaginethat! Two bowlers refusing to bowl to a batsman who refuses to bat! And peoplesay that cricket is boring!



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Chapter Sixteen1963-16 Everything's Alright

2B1; So I am a B student then. It's official. But a first class B student mind you.2B1; in with Dinky and Mike. I started in the top class and worked my way down,Dinky started in the bottom class and worked his way up and Mike, in his own

solid way, started right in the middle and would stay there for his entire schoolcareer. We even occupied those respective thirds within the class until I left. Justwhen they wanted me to move me up again and start me on Latin. Good timingthere for a change.Since being turned into a B student by the Grammar School I had found myself aquiet niche in the top ten of the class, 6/34 in the Spring Term and then 5/34 inthe Summer Term. A nice safe place in the class where I wouldn't get noticed. Ireckoned fourth, fifth or sixth in the class were the best places to be. First, secondand third you got noticed for being a swot, but when you were in fourth, fifth orsixth place no one could say you werent trying and Dad was happy. Perfect. Youcan get on and do interesting things on your own and with your mates. Mind you I

wasnt going to stop winning races to avoid being noticed; winning races was aseasy as doing maths I couldnt help that. Anyway it was a family trait. Dad was arunner who'd had a chance at an Olympic place racing Gordon Pirie, who went onto win a Bronze Medal, Dave would win long distance races before becoming atriple jumper and my hero was Roger Bannister. Worlds fastest miler and a doctor.Or Stirling Moss; what a great name. Worlds fastest driver with a penthouse inMayfair. I couldnt wait for the day when a policeman would stop me and sayWho do you think you then, are Stirling Moss? One of those two was my hero,but it changed from day to day. Soon it would be John and Paul.

Ah little baby

You know I've been awayAh little babyYou know I'm home today

Home today? I wonder if he's come back from Germany then. I bet he's back inBritain after a tour overseas. Great piano and drum intro to it, just like TobaccoRoad in fact. I wonder why Dinky prefers Tobacco Road? It's by the NashvilleTeens, so they have to be American, still who are The Mojos, what on earth doesthat mean? Are they from Manchester? Watford? Liverpool? Dunno. But they arebetter than the Nashville Teens; more joyful. Mind you Tobacco Road has greatqualities, like being a proper song about a road for a start. That makes a nice

change. Solid drumming from the beginning, the piano sounds weird and it's noisyall the way through. Cant fault that.

And dont you know thatEverything's alrightEverything's alrightEverything's alright

Let me hold your hand



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Be your loving manLet me hold your handBe your loving manLet me hold your handBe your loving man

They're right, everythings alright now, yeah, yeah, YEAH! Loads of Pop Musiceverywhere. And its so cheerful. Beaty, joyful and intense. Lots I can spend mytime listening to now that I've got school sorted.Listening to Pop Music was getting amazingly popular in late 1963. Everyoneseemed to be interested in it now. No more waiting for a single half decent song tocome on a jukebox, if we were lucky enough to even find one. No more relying onCliff and the Shadows to give us a decent break from all those syrupy Americanlove songs. These are the days arent they; lots of friends interested in Pop Musicand no trouble from school, no trouble at all. I'm a good B student and they dontmind that.Pop Music was simply everywhere. There was Saturday Club, Pick of the Pops,

which was getting better and better as Mersey Beat took it over, Crackerjack, JukeBox Jury and Thank Your Lucky Stars. Even Two Way Family Favourites was mostlyplaying good Pop Music now. Well a little bit too much Frank Ifield and Elvis, butnot bad for Sunday lunchtime. You could hear Pop Music almost every single dayof the week now. Could it get any better than that?

Ah little babyYou know I feel so goodAh little babyI never knew I could

I never knew I could either. I smiled to myself as I played Everything's Alright backto myself in my head. From my satchel I surreptitiously took out my borrowed,battered, paperback copy of Live and Let Die, the James Bond novel by IanFleming that I was currently reading. This was shaping up to be the best of the lot,really gripping story with loads going on as always, but a little more mysteriousthan usual thanks to all of that incomprehensible voodoo stuff with Solitaire. I hadno idea what was going to happen next in the better James Bond stories like OnHer Majesty's Secret Service. I'd sworn by Biggles when I used to go to the JuniorSection of the wonderful Main Library in Harrogate but since someone lent meMoonraker at School I'd been racing through the Bond novels like they were GrandPrix circuits. Once I found an author that I liked I tried to read everything by them.

Enid Blyton, Richmal Compton and now Ian Fleming. Ian Fleming was God. Thiswas writing for the 1960's. The Beatles and Ian Fleming, what a combination for ayoung boy to grow up on.We had to read James Bond novels in secret though as pulp fiction wasntapproved of then, so I devoured them in all sorts of places, like right now on theschool bus when it looked like any other second hand paperback, and duringbreak when they weather was too bad to play football outside on our own speciallittle bit of grass at the back of the School.



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And dont you know thatEverything's alrightEverything's alrightEverything's alright

That's a great chorus. We should have made that the theme tune for Bilton

Dynamos, we'd have won the league singing songs like that.

Let me give you lovingLike nobody canLet me give you lovingLike nobody canLet me give you lovingLike nobody can

What a great drum roll into the middle eight. They really build the song into it. Ohand it's on piano, sounds incredibly original; that will be why Dave doesnt like it

then; very decisive Dave. Guitars, good. No guitars, not good. Simple. Still guitarsand drums are the best combination in Pop Music. I'm glad he's got a guitar.Here it comes again. Got that non-stop intensity of good Mersey Beat

Let me give you lovingLike nobody canLet me give you lovingLike nobody canLet me give you lovingLike nobody can

Well no one has sung a chorus more confidently than that, not even John and Paul.And look; there's the poster for the new James Bond film. From Russia With Love ison at the Odeon. I wont be able to see it though. Certificate A and Dad will nevertake me. I didnt even know that they were making Dr No into a film until I sawthe poster last year. It must have been a really big hit for them to make a followup. And From Russia With Love is one of the better stories, so it must be a goodfilm. I wonder if they'll make all of them into films eventually? Cant wait to see OnHer Majesties Secret Service then, thats the best James Bond story I've read sofar.

The poster was at ground level by the side of the paper shop half way up King

Georges Drive. The poster, as most film posters were, was a Technicolor marvel,lighting up the black brown stone of the wall it was posted on. I made sure Ilooked at the poster on the way to and the way back from school every day. Ichose my seat accordingly. They were full-coloured, sometimes even hystericallycoloured, windows on the future. Every time I looked down at a film poster fromthe bus and mused on its images my head was filled with ideas for new places togo and new things to do. Wonderful Land's, There's a Place's and Caribbean Liveand Let Die's. Come one September I'd drive a Rolls Royce and sing Multiplicationtoo. And kiss Gina Lollobrigida, or some other girl from Rome, for hours and hours.



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Everythings all right...Everythings all right...

Yeah ok Dinky was right. Tobacco Road is the better song, they're going to build anew town in the future, their Island of Dreams. Sound like constructive lads, those

Nashville Teens; bet they work on a building site when they aren't singing. Theysound really hard working. Dynamite stuff. They sound like they dont waste theirtime chasing girls.But, however worthy the Nashville Teens had been, this was a better performanceand today, at last, and joyfully so, Everythings Alright for me.



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Chapter Seventeen1963-17 I Wanna Be Your Man

Have you bought your Crunchie this week?

We were behind the paper shop walking down our secret path to the recce when

Dave asked me that.

Not yet, I'm saving it as a special treat until after I win my run next week.Are you still winning?I always win! I'm thinking of new ways of winning to make it interesting.New ways of winning! Like what?Well I think I'll hang back with Dinky and Jimmy next week and get them to

run better. Dinky's a really good sportsman, he shouldn't come last in running.You'll come last if you do that.No, I'll only stay with them until the second lap, then I'll set off and win at

the last possible moment. I'll really deserve a Crunchie if I do that!

Ooh, that sounds hard. We could go and get the Crunchie now?No thanks.We could get it on the way back after football.No thanks Dave! Anyway running isnt as hard as playing with those older

lads down at the recce. I find that hard. How do you do it?I'm good at football.

We were wearing our football boots, and slipping around on our secret green path,as we were going to a serious match with the older kids. Football boots and fullBilton Dynamos kit, now renamed Dynamo Athletic. I was thinking of ways ofcreating my own football team, or failing that maybe my own sports label, but I

didn't have a clue if that was possible or not. Bilton wasn't universal enough as aname anyway, I needed something distinctive, like Dynamo Athletic; part Soviet,part Stray, wholly global.

The last time we had come down to the recce we encountered the most amazingnatural experience we'd ever seen. It was densely foggy, but the fog was onlythree feet deep and came up to the waists of most of the lads playing there. Youcouldnt see the ball and you couldn't see the goals; just the usual pile of jumperson the ground. This half shroud created a magical environment on the recce. Weall looked like we were popping out of the top of a cloud and floating around inheaven or in space somewhere, whilst still being able to see the roof tops of the

houses down below the recce. Every so often someone would find the ball, kick itand then promptly lose it again. From time to time a throw-in would be designatedand we would then see the ball briefly as it was thrown back into play andeveryone tried frantically to keep it in the air so we could continue to see it until,inevitably, it dropped back into the foggy soup at our feet and we would all burstout laughing. Some found it so hysterical that they fell down with laughter andpromptly disappeared themselves; to the even greater amusement of those leftstanding. We knew they were hopeless conditions for football, but we continuedplaying just because it was so utterly pointless. The funniest match of football I



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ever played in. If they play football in heaven I've done the training.

But playing with the older kids today would be a really serious affair. Several ofthem had aspirations to go professional making Saturday afternoon the mostintense session of the week. We could play as long as we wanted, or at least untilsomeone shouted five more minutes or the ball owner had had enough. Mind

you we never played much past 4.30 as everyone wanted to be back for SportsReport to get the days football scores. In Harrogate in 1963 most lads supportedSpurs as they had done the double the year before and Leeds were still buildingtheir squad and future reputation in the second division. There were a lot of whiteshirts on display that afternoon, which would come in handy when it came toswitching allegiances.The match we were heading for was already underway and we went over andstood on the sidelines. Dave and I always played together and when we werepicked for different sides I pointed out that we were brothers and our kid (I hadjust taken to referring to Dave as "our kid") always played on the same side asme. When they saw we wouldn't be shifted on this they made another lad change

sides, "our kid" was the magic phrase and Dave and I joined the team kickinguphill. Dave trotted off to the back and I sought out the left wing like family heroBobby Charlton.

I wanna be your lover babyI wanna be your manI wanna be your lover babyI wanna be your man

Our captain, playing left half just inside of me and bristling with enthusiasm andpurpose, was energetically singing some new tune to himself that I didnt

recognise.

Tell me that you love me babyTell me you understand

Unlike me he was well past puberty, and one of the stars of football on the recce.Dark and compact he was a natural captain that everyone respected and wantedto play for. He was always looking up and picking out opportunities downfield.Goals often followed from his through balls. He only passed the ball out to mewhen nothing else was on and my job was to run like hell and get a cross in, orpass it back to him if I got the call.

Tell me that you love me babyTell me you understandIf he liked Pop Music, and he liked this song, then it was bound to be a great.

I wanna be your manI wanna be your man

Get on the end of that Bill, you twat!



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What's that skip?Whats what sonny?That song you're singing, I've never heard it. It's Pop Music isn't it?Pop music! Its RnB that, proper music.Oh, its not Pop Music then?It's I Wanna be Your Man by The Rolling Stones, now shut it and get down

the wing and give me an opening.


Yes skip.

I went out to the touchline and waited for a chance to impress him and for anopening to talk to him again.

I wanna be your man

I wanna be your man

Where did you hear it skip?Hear it? I bought it! I've got two cracking singles by The Rolling Stones. Bill!

Back; drop back!The Rolling Stones?Yeah you can rely on the Stones. They know how to play their instruments

and they really know their music.


Six months later he would shock me by singing out loud I Just Wanna Make Loveto You! And baby, LOVE to you! OUT LOUD! ON THE RECCE! This was quitesurprising even to my then thirteen year old self, although I was never quite surewhat it meant exactly. But I guessed that my parents would never approve of suchstuff, so I never told them about the song, and I ignored the Stones until theybecame unmissable on Top of the Pops. Its All Over Now was the one that did it.Brian Jones got some extraordinary noises out of his plectrum-shaped guitar andthe Stones seemed to be leaning right of the TV and singing into your face despitethe picture being poor and grainy with hardly any image resolution. But theywould leave me with the sense that RnB, and even albums, were yet more

mysteries waiting to be cracked. They sang different kinds of songs, in differentstyles, written by people with strange names like Muddy Waters. However therewas no chance that I would be investigating albums when they cost well over apound. Each!


I bet Caroline thought of them as horror stories. The Earwigs probably. The lads



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down the recce seem to get the Stones right away whereas they had somereservations about the Beatles. Not that they didn't like them and their bettersongs


What about She Loves You skip? That's a great record!Not bad, not bad, better than their earlier stuff, at least they are trying on

this one. And its great to have loud music all over the bloody radio for a change.Is She Loves You, RnB skip?No lad, don't be daft, its bloody Pop Music! Now stop talking to me and get

back out to the wing, I want you hugging that line for when I need you. And getyour crosses in to the penalty spot. We're here to score goals not look good. I betyou are a bloody Bobby Charlton fan too aren't you?

Yes I am skip! How did you know?Never you mind. Danny Blanchflower's the man, watch my passing and

learn son, watch and learn!

The next day, on Pick of the Pops, something magical happened... "And now, withtheir first top twenty hit singing a song written for them by the Beatles, it's theRolling Stones with I Wanna Be Your Man". Oh great! The Rolling Stones and theBeatles must be friends. What a relief! RnB and Pop Music can live together, theycan be friends after all.

When something interesting happened musically I just narrowed my focus andconcentrated on it really intensely. I Wanna Be Your Man seemed to propel itselfout of the radio sufficient unto itself. It was as full of energy as She Loves You but

it was a coarser energy with a propensity to veer all over the place, less organisedand less controlled than the Beatles, more willful and more direct. I was pleasedthat the skip and I could identify with the same piece of music, even if it was forentirely different reasons.

I Wanna Be Your Man kicks off with a rocking intensity from its first two fiercelystrummed chords. It is just one minute and forty three seconds long and, as wasoften the way then, has established its intent and hooked you in by the end of thefirst four bars. At which point Mick Jagger cuts in with his cocky, sneering vocals;this isn't a request after all. Jagger isn't pleading.

Yeah I wanna be your lover baby

The Beatles wrote I wanna, but the Stones sang I'm gonna, be your man. Sowe know the whole story of the song just ten seconds in. The Stones are in a rush,you are in the way, and they are going to sweep you up and carry you along withthem. You dont really have a say in it. You really didnt have to say you lovedthem either. Then a more purposeful guitar solo than George had managed kicksin after forty four seconds, before the musical order of the song is restored whenthe chorus kicks back in after a minute.



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I wanna be your manYes I wanna be...

Then at one minute and twenty seconds Jagger changes his tone and lasciviouslylicks out your ears with the rest of the lyric from the back of his very deep throat.

I wanna be top (!) babyI wanna be your man

I got the energy of the song right away but those past puberty got its salaciousintent. The Beatles were going to educate you; right here. The Stones were goingto seduce you; right now. The Beatles had given them a Pop album track and theStones had turned it into a hit RnB single.



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Chapter Eighteen1963-18 If You Gotta Make a Fool of Somebody

What did you say to the Headmaster Dad?I told him that Stanley Matthews was the finest footballer who has ever

played AND the finest Englishman who ever drew breathe and as such he would

be a fine example to you.Did you tell him that the worlds greatest footballers were playing? Yashin,Puskas, di Stefano?

I didnt think that would cut much ice with the headmaster of a rugbyplaying Grammar School John. I think he was more concerned with setting someconditions we could agree to, given your previous behaviour!

What do you mean Dad!?You know very well what am referring to John. The Headmaster and I came

to an agreement and as long as you stick to it then everything will be fine. Youcan only miss half a day of school today, which we've kept to, and you must beback in school tomorrow however tired you are. And do a full days work.

Did you go in your officers uniform Dad?I had to, I only had my lunch break to talk to him. Very nice man, verypolite, even arranged a cup of tea for me. I dont want you upsetting him againJohn, he's done you a very big favour today.

I'll say! We were on our way to Stoke, to the Victoria Ground, to see a StanleyMatthews XI, well his England Mates really, along with Alan Gilzean, versus theRest of the World. THE REST OF THE WORLD. Everywhere that Dinky hadnt beento yet. Brasilians, Argentinians, Spaniards, Hungarians, who once lead the world infootball, and even Germans in the days when they were still an exotic curio,having beaten the Magyars in a match so perplexing and mythic that the great

Rainer Werner Fassbinder would reference it as the moment when modernGermany was born. We mostly saw them losing in war films, it was hard to think ofthem winning anything. Stan Matthews, 49 years and 321 days old, was stillplaying and once even used to train by running up and down Blackpool beach.What a life that must have been; Football and Blackpool. He could still passdefenders simply by shimmying and pushing the ball past them. Magic.And Dad had organised a whole afternoon off school to go and watch this festivalof football, in which ELEVEN goals were going to be scored, right at the other endof the country, well, far beyond Yorkshire. With no motorways to help him either, itwas yet another epic piece of driving from Dad.When he had suggested it I was simultaneously gobsmacked with wonder at the

outrageousness of the idea, completely unbelieving that he could get tickets andabsolutely certain that the school would stop me from going even if he didcontrive to get us tickets. Yet here were the three of us escaping the late AutumnPennine chill and heading for the wondrous arena of Champions created byfloodlights and contained within a soccer ground in the middle of Stoke. Stoke, fora time, was a word that, for me, was synonymous with all things wonderful in theknown world. It certainly was today.

If You Gotta Make a Fool of Somebody (somebody)



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If You Gotta Make Fool fo Someone, one, oneI'm the person you'll hurt mostDer Der Der Der Der DER

Oh listen, its Freddie and the Dreamers.

To me Freddie and the Dreamers were in some way named after the new me, Fred,so that made them exciting, and a group I was predisposed to like. Actually I waspredisposed to like any new group who continued to overthrow the tedium ofsyrupy love songs that had characterised 1962, and added some beat to everydaylife. What skip had called Loud Music. They were a group who could play theirinstruments, even play about with them and throw them around, so they didsound like they were a proper Mersey Beat group, sometimes. They even lookedlike they could be on the bill with The Beatles, but I still wasnt sure, much as Ihad laughed at Freddie's clowning around on Crackerjack.

IF YOU GOTTA MAKE FOOL OF SOMEBODY....

Dave and I song along to that line with gusto

Is that the group we saw on the telly John.I think so Dad.Course it was, they were on the Palladium show.And Crackerjack.

Now they are what I call a Good Group John. They can play your sort ofmusic and that lad, what's his name?

Freddie Garrity, FG like me I whispered. Dad hadnt taken to me being called

Fred as it was a common name.Freddie, yes! He looks like he's learnt his craft in Music Hall. I can see themlasting for years, unlike those noise merchants the Beatles

The Stones are the noise merchants Dad, the Beatles write songs.Well that Freddie looks like he's got more than one string to his bow and I'm

sure he can turn to cabaret and pantomime when he has to. Come to think of it helooked like he was in pantomime last week.

What do you think Dave?I'd like to see Freddie and the Dreamers in pantomime. They are funny. They

dance funny.

Do you love me? Now that I can dance funny... Hmm doesnt sound right that. Iwas slowly going off Freddie and the Dreamers;Plus side; called Freddie and they like DreamingMinus side; good at Panto and Dad likes them.The correct answers were;Mad name, great beat, great songs, Dad wants to turn the telly off when theycome on.Only one and two-halves out of four, by my reckoning at this point then. Notlooking good for Freddie and the Dreamers.



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And he looks like Eric Morecambe!

One and two halves out of five then. That was it.

Dad loved Morecambe and Wise, it was the ultimate accolade in his book. Not the

right recommendation for joining the Pop Music pantheon though.

I'm still Fred. I'm still Dreaming but I stopped listening to Freddie and theDreamers many years ago

Dont you like She Loves You Dad?What! With all those sceeching Yeah Yeahs and all the stupid head-shaking

like, like, broom bunny's?Moptops DadI certainly do not like it. Cant think why anyone would listen to them.Well its been number one for six weeks now and is going to be the biggest

selling single of all time. It has sold more than anything by Elvis.You're making that up John. Had can a nothing group like the Beatles bemore popular than Elvis.

I'm not making it up Dad. Alan Freeman said it on Pick of the Pops so it mustbe true!

I wish you'd spend as much time on your homework as you do on Pop Music.I got a 100% in Algebra Homework last year Dad and that's really hard.Not for you it isnt! Anyway you didnt get 100% last termI got 92% in the Summer that's really good! Anyway I do all my homework

in good time now. And I'm working really hard on a history project on the MiddleAges.

Well that sounds better but youll need to keep it up.Who do you think will score tonight Dad?Well they are bound to let Matthews score; it's his testimonial.Will di Stefano score?Well I bet Puskas scores, he scores in every game he plays.I think di Stefano has a better record in European Cup Finals, DadYes but Puskas loves scoring against us, he got a hat-trick at Wembley when

the Hungarians thrashed us 6-3!At Wembley, I though we were unbeatable at Wembley. We beat Scotland 9-

2 last year.Well we've only lost once and that was down to Puskas. He barely moves

but he's got a lethal left foot. The Galloping Major they call him.How can they?What?Call him the Galloping Major, if he doesnt move?It's just a name John, he was promoted to major because he scored lots of

goals for Hungary. He probably rode a horse, Hungarians are good horse riders.Would they promote you to Major if you scored lots of goals Dad?Probably not, I'd have a better chance in the British Army if I scored a

couple of centuries!



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Did he make a fool of us Dad? Piped up DaveWhat David?Puskas, Dad. Did he make a fool of us?I think he did David. He even made a fool of Billy Wright.What the Billy Wright who married the Beverly Sisters?Billy Wright holds the record number of caps for England, 105 if you want to

know (I did), and was the captain of England for many years.Including when we got thrashed by the Hungarians, lead by a GallopingMajor who cant move, no wonder he married a Pop Star, Dad!



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Chapter Nineteen1963-19 Twist and Shout

See Dad I told you the Beatles were good. They are topping the bill on theRoyal Variety Command Performance at the London Palladium.

What? The Royal Variety Perfomance? The Beatles?

Yes Dad! On Sunday the Beatles are topping the bill on the Royal VarietyCommand Performance at the London Palladium.

I repeated this in full as I knew Dad understood the Significance of the RoyalVariety Command Performance at the London Palladium. I had an Ace and I wasgoing to use it several times.

We can all watch them together. As a family. Coz they are the best, they aretopping the bill at Royal Variety Command Performance at the London Palladiumand that proves it.

Well I hope they dont disgrace it with their Yeah Yeah Yeahs and shaking

their hair.Moptops, DadWhat?They have moptops Dad, Beatle haircuts!I dont think they've ever had a haircut in their life. If it was down to me I'd

get them up to Georges with you two and we'd have them ship shape and Bristolfashion in no time.

You make us get crew cuts Dad, American haircuts, we're British we shouldhave Beatle haircuts, at least they are English.

There was great excitement that Sunday night in the Garnett household, at least

in the John Fred corner of it, who just assumed that his excitement was matchedby all and sundry across the familial plains of 7 Gordon Avenue. Everyone in thestreet was going to be watching it according to Tony, who knew about thesethings. The Zodiac next door wasnt in the street so that meant they were stayingin, and as they were a very sophisticated couple next door, it was obvious whatthey would be doing. And I knew what the talk would be about amongst usteenagers at School tomorrow;The B E A T L E S, Beatles.Mum was definitely up for it, she had warmed to the Beatles now and would evenbuy me the Twist and Shout EP for Christmas, for a brief time the greatest piece ofvinyl ever to circulate in the known Universe, well 7 Gordon Avenue at least, and

put it in my Christmas stocking. Notwithstanding having to fight it out to benoticed alongside the more customary Christmas gifts, an orange, the traditionalGarnett handkerchiefs, new socks and a chocolate selection box, Twist and Shoutwould, eventually, emerge from the stocking in triumph. So triumphantly in factthat it stays in the memory more sharply than the wonderful bike hiding in thegarage, which was in fact my best Christmas present ever. I can still visualise thered fishnet Christmas stocking distorted by the Twist and Shout EP (my first EP!Almost an album!) It took me no time to notice it sticking out of the stocking and Ithink I squealed like Sara. The Beatles EP with them all running, jumping and



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standing still on the cover at the same time. A picture cover too! The glass of1963 would be running over come Christmas Day.The 1963 Royal Variety Command Performance at the London Palladium, lots ofearly twentieth acts at their peak getting in the way of the Beatles. Please Pleaseplay all my favourites! Please, please me lads. Come on...

1. She Loves YouAh fantastic! Just fantastic, that's the way to start . The song that made themlegends, returned to number one months after its release, the song that startedBeatlemania, the song that made them the moptops, the song that haddominated the airwaves, and our lives ever since.

Watch this Dad they are going to shake their heads nowYeah, Yeah Yeah!Disgusting, call themselves grown men.

2. From Me To You

A bit disappointing, this was a great song six months ago but I Saw Her StandingThere is much better live and Tony had predicted that they would play that. Still itwas the Beatles live, playing a Beatles song live right now on stage in our backroom on TV, real live in close up and black and white. Not like the time Daddeliberately made us miss their first TV performance on Granada one Saturdaywhen we had guests over.

3. Till there was youOh Mum loves this one. Good old Paul he knows how to win over an audience. Iquite like this too, but its not Pop Music is it?

There you are Dad, listen to that.Not as good as in the musical, but a good song of course. You cant gowrong with a good song. If only they could write songs like that.

They write their own songs Dad.I'm not surprised.Ron I'm listening to this!Alright Ann, sorry. This is much better.

4. Twist and Shout

For this next song we will need a bit of audience participation.

John Lennon. Confident John Lennon telling the audience what to do, of course hewould. My favourite, Paul, was smiling along after his showtune triumph had setup the big denouement that was about to hit us.

For those of you in the cheaper seats just clap your handsA stiffled titter as though Frankie Howerd had started on a joke that no one knewthe ending to.



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The rest of you, just rattle your jewelry.

What did he say?He asked the Queen to rattle her jewelry Ron, said Mum with a discreet

smile.

She winked at me.

What!! The head of the Armed Forces? Rattle her jewelry? How dare he?They should clap him in irons.

A shiver raced down my spine at the cheek of it. Was this the moment Mumdecided to buy me the Twist and Shout EP for Christmas?

Dad it's Twist and Shout, their best live song.They should behead him! And he'd get a haircut that way as well!

You never realise what your best family moments are at the time because theyare far too intense. Your memory sorts it out later on for you of course, and thiswas a great family moment being delivered on a flaming pie.The deathless chords started up, just a cue to deliver Lennon to the starting gatereally, a little taradiddle by Ringo and then the lungs burst in. I'm up in my seatnow, as I would be five years later when George Best rounds the Benfica defenceand puts Manchester United ahead in extra time in the European Cup Final.

We're shaking up baby nowShaking up babyTwist and Shout

Twist and Shout

He's just giving it a lungful, Lennon, looking disdainfully at the audience. Yearslater I learnt he actually had a squint, but he looked arrogantly powerful when hesang;

Come on Come on Come Come baby nowCome on babyWell shouted it really.

Come on and work it on out

Work it on OutWell work it on out

Is this a song about shouting? A disgrace! And in front of the Queen, Abloody disgrace.

Ron the boys are listening, not shouting.

Its just twenty four seconds into the song and it is amazing; silent mayhem isbeing wreked in the room as the sounds of the Beatles pour out of the TV set. The



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Hartnell walked into the TARDIS for the first time and the space-time continuumturned out to be warped. Warp Factor Two; thanks you boys.And an instrumental break, bye bye Shads listen to that George Harrison go HankMarvin aint got nothing on this.

Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah

Now its all four of them together. All for one and one for all; and all for us!

Wow, Ah, yeah, Yeah, YEAHHH(Oh great! Tony is right they do something on every syllable, none of this politeEnglish songs thing of going a whole verse on a single idea)

Oh Yeah!What did you say JohnYeah, Dad, I said YeahI think you mean yes JohnI think they mean Yeah Dad

And so do I.



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Chapter Twenty1963-20 Glad All Over

Did you see Top of the Pops?Yeah, wasnt it good?Yeah, so much good music.

Even Dusty Springfield sounded goodYeah much better than with The SpringfieldsYeah yeah!YEAH!!!

We laugh at the shared catch phrase of 1963 which, in early 64, was still sweetlydriving parents mad with its mindlessness. We bathe in the affirmation it bringsus.

And the Dave Clark Five were on. That's the biggest selling single of all time.Fastest selling single of all time

I'm feeling

GLAD ALL OVER

Dave Clark Five are the bestNo the Beatles are the bestHow can they be the best? Havent you seen the headline in the paper;

Dave Clark Five topple the Beatles.He was right there, the paper had said that, that was a tough argument.Only because everyone has bought The Beatles singles!Not everyone buys Beatles singles, some of them buy Dave Clark Five

singles.Yeah, and Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas.

And the BachelorsAnyway didnt you see the Top Twenty. It had two Beatles singles at Numberone and Number Two, two EPs, including my Twist and Shout and their new albumwas at Number 19. Five Beatles records out of twenty. I've never seen an album inthe singles charts before.

Yeah, well it doesnt count does it, the Top Twenty is about songs, so theBeatles only have two and Dave Clark Five have the biggest selling single. Of alltime time probably.

No, hang on, I know! Glad All Over is the fastest selling single. It sold 85,000in a day after Top of the Pops.

85,000 in a day! Are you sure?

Oh yeah I'm sure about that I read it in the paper! That's twice as big asHarrogate is.

Told ya! I aint ever seen telly as good as Top of the Pops. It were even betterthan Wrestling on Saturday. I hope they keep it on.

This was some accolade from Dinky. He would disappear on Saturday afternoons,the prime time for playing football, to watch wrestling. I didnt get it, I neverwould get it.



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Yeah it was even better than when The Beatles were at the LondonPalladium.

Yeah Sunday Night at the London Palladium is only any good when there'spop on it. Thank Your Lucky Stars is the best programme on TV for music.

Not any more!You're right there, not any more!

And Tops of the Pops is on at a proper time too, not like the Palladium. It's agood job my parents watch it.Dont you like Glad All Over then?I love it! My mum even went out and bought it!Everyone went out and bought it you twit. Its the fastest selling single of all

time. All of Harrogate went out and bought it one morning!

I laughed at Dinky's outrageous anti-Beatle propaganda. Still he'd never been outof Yorkshire and you couldnt call The Beatles Yorkshiremen, not by any stretch ofthe imagination, not in Yorkshire.

It sound's great on Mums record player, it sounds really loud. Is it Mersey

Beat?Dont be stupid they are from London! From Tottenham in fact. Which meansthey'll support the best football team in the world as well. Jimmy Greaves and theDave Clark Five! Fabulous combination.

London? They are from London Well that makes a change! Everything isabout Liverpool these days. Every new group at Number One is from Liverpool.

Not the Dave Clark Five!Why do they call it the Dave Clark Five then, when Mike Smith is the star? Is

it like John Lennon and Paul McCartney?I dont know, pop groups names are always mad. The Fourmost! And what

about the Beatles, now thats really mad!

Yeah it is, brrr! What about Mojos?Nashville Teens!Young and over there! The Hollies,Who might stay under the mistletoe! Freddie and the Dreamers.Sleepwalking their way to the Top. Merseybeats.On a Ferry Cross the Mersey! Billy Jay Kramer and the Dakotas.Wearing Swinging Blue Jeans from LeedsCheat! The Rolling Stones!Found by the Searchers.Johnny Kidd and the Pirates.In the Brian Poole with the Tremeloes

Frank I field!The Earwigs!The Earwigs?Its my name for the Rolling StonesThats really mad!The Crickets?Mad names all of them!Fancy being named after Hank Marvins tremelo arm on his guitar.Yeah can you imagine Dinky Dalton and the Drumsticks? Actually thats



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good, you can be my Drumsticks! I'm the teenager round here.

We were giddy with the excitement that all these new names brought.

Still Dave Clark's drumming is brilliant, even better than Ringo's

Like this?

And I'm feelingDum DUMGlad All Over

Even bigger on the Dum Dum like thisNo you have to stomp your feet not hit the seat. Like this, come onAnd I'm feeling

DUM DUMGlad All Over!!

Hey you two stop making a racket!But we are singing Glad All Over! We are Glad All Over. It's Friday! School'sover!

Well shut it or I'll put you in detention.

We sang in whispers, Dinky calling, me responding

You say that you love meSay you loveAll of the timeAll of the time

The school bus from Harrogate Grammar School, largely full of council estate kidson their way back to lowly Bilton, which was not as lowly as Starbeck of course,had wound its way down elegant Cold Bath Road, past the stoic-faced stonefrontages of the Upstairs Downstairs houses that were characteristic of this poshpart of Harrogate, as we continued reviewing the newly revealed marvels of thefirst Top of the Pops.We had reached the entrance of the very wonderful Valley Gardens, where Daveand I would play pitch and putt back up its hill (I never understood why it wascalled a Valley Garden), with Betty's just beyond it.

you say that you need mesay you need meyou'll always be minealways be mine

We were now approaching the Spa, the very heart of Harrogate. Dinky noddedover to our left as we passed the Crown Hotel. Dinky's brother already worked inthe Crown and I secretly wondered if I would ever be able to insinuate myself intoHarrogate aristocracy as effectively as his elder brother had. We grinned at each



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other again and hit the chorus;

I'm feelingGLAD ALL OVERbaby yes I'm aGlad ALL OVER

and baby I'mGLAD ALL OVER

Dinky looked up at the prefect and sang in his normal voice.

SO GLAD YOUR MINE!!!

I stared hard at him as the bus came out by the heart of the Spa, the Pump Roomitself. The grass square in front of the Pump Room I took to be the real centre ofHarrogate; around it Harrogate's major Spa buildings were on display.Menawhile our call and response was back in whispers;

I'll make you happymake you happyyou'll never be bluenever be blue

This meant that everyday we past the frowning brown-black edifices of HarrogateSpa Central and their hidden sulphurous remnants of some golden past. I stillhavent bathed there; I've neither been aristocratic nor touristic enough yet.

you'll have no sorrow

have no sorrowcoz I'll always be truealways be true

The driver maneuvered the school bus past the Pump Room and stooped at themain traffic lights. This only left the historic Old Swan Hotel up the hill over to ourleft for us to pass. The Old Swan was the best hotel in Harrogate according toDinky, who knew about these things as his brother was in the trade. But to me thebest thing in Harrogate was the Exhibition Hall, just ahead of us as we chorusedme quietly, Dinky confidently.

I'm feelingGLAD ALL OVERbaby yes I'm aGlad ALL OVERand baby I'mGLAD ALL OVERHe looked up at the prefect againSO GLAD YOUR MINE



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I had seen Donald Campbell's Bluebird at the Exhibition Hall. The fastest car ever.The first car to go faster than 400mph. In Harrogate. The fastest car in the worldin Harrogate. A town where things happened. Admittedly mostly by flowing out ofa tap, but Harrogate was close to Doncaster as a town where significant thingsmight happen. Campbell was significantly faster than our revered but genteelwaters, but he had come here and presumably he had sampled Harrogate

waters;a bluebird of excitement from far away; somewhere beyond Yorkshire.

other girls may try to take me awaytake me awaybut you know it's by your side I will stayI will stay

Behind the grandly titled Exhibition Hall, actually little more than a shed then, wasthe truly grand Royal Hall; why was Harrogate so Royal? I wasnt sure but we didget The Stray as part of the deal. The Royal Hall became the centre of myHarrogate once I saw Yes there, supported by the effervescently charismatic David

Bowie in his curly haired singer-songwriter days. And Pentangle. Pentangle, theband who were Unplugged before they were ever plugged. One of those groupswhere every member stepped up to the mark and hit it; respect to Bert, John,Terry, Danny, Jacqui. In the days when music was being re-invented, again.

Dinky couldnt stand whispering any more

And I'm feelingWe hit the bar of the seat in front; Dum Dum

GLAD ALL OVER

Big smiles between us again.

baby yes I'm aDum Dum

Glad ALL OVERand baby I'm

Beatle grin on my face, Mike Smith's determined scowl on Dinky's; DUM DUM

GLAD ALL OVER

SO GLAD YOUR MINE

We sang it out. Its Friday and we're leaving school behind...

You Two at the back!Ignore her, she was only made a prefect this week, she's just trying to be

important.I'm going to be a teenager this year and she wont be able to pick on me

then as I'll know everything!



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I'm already a teenager so I know everything alreadyYou call then

other girls may try to take me awaytake me awaybut you know it's by your side I will stay

I will stay

Anyway I Wanna Hold Your Hand is number one this week!But it isnt the fastest selling single. Coz that is;

GLAD ALL OVER!!!

And I'm feelingDUM! DUM!

Actually we were now stomping our feet as well, making a real, drum-like noise.

More like drums than two biscuit tins to my ears,

Glad All Over!!And Baby I'm aDUM DUM STOMP!!!

Glad All Over!!!!You two!Hey! You two! What are you names?What! Us?Yes you two! You are in detention on Monday

What have we done?You continued singing Glad All Over after I told you to stop.You cant do that. You cant put us in detention for singing Glad All Over!I can do that.Its Friday! The bus driver doesnt mind.I mind! AND I told you to stop singing it!You're only thowing your weight around coz your a new prefect. I bet you're

in a choir as well.Well you're not singing pop songs on my bus. Now names, or you'll be in

even more trouble.Dinky Dalton said I

Fred Garnett said Dinky

Out foolish grins gave our feeble subterfuge away.

REAL NAMES!John DaltonJohn GarnettOK! Detention Monday! Report to the Deputy Head in the break on Monday I

want 500 lines from each of you I must not

63/68 a visceral history part 2 (63 part 2)

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