6 Life-Changing Tips From People Living With DepressionEveryday HealthNovember 25, 2015

Dan Lukasik (left) and Loralee Hutton (right) were actually relieved to receive a depression diagnosis. “It wasn’t just ‘in my head,’” says Lukasik. (Photos courtesy: Dan Lukasik, Loralee Hutton)

A diagnosis of depression means different things to different people. For mental health advocate Jean-François Claude of Ottawa, Ontario, the competing emotions arrived in a flood — “alone, angry, ashamed, confused, lost, overwhelmed, scared” — and led to numbness.

“My mind’s response was to numb itself to these feelings by emotionally shutting down,” he says.

For others, such as lawyer Dan Lukasik of Buffalo, New York, and business owner Loralee Hutton of Vancouver, British Columbia, it was a relief. “I finally had a medical diagnosis for what was wrong with me,” Lukasik says. “It wasn’t just ‘in my head.’ I needed medical attention and medication.”

Unfortunately, many people neglect to face depression head on and seek help, or they make decisions when they’re first diagnosed that they later regret. To help others avoid the same mistakes, we asked six productive, engaged people who are living with depression what they’ve learned about managing their condition, and what strategies and advice they’d like to pass along.

1. Take Your Diagnosis Seriously — Don’t Blow It Off or Downplay It

One of the biggest regrets Hutton had after her diagnosis was pushing it aside as insignificant because of other things she had going on in her life, including the death of a family member and a diagnosis with another illness. “I wish I had taken it more seriously,” she says.

Independent journalist Greg Harman of San Antonio, Texas, still struggles to make his mental health a priority.

“Until all my symptoms sort of collided into one giant mess, forcing me to take my recovery and wellness as the life-or-death matter that it is, I really just drifted with the diagnosis,” says Harman , author of After Depression: What an experimental medical treatment taught me about mental illness and recovery. “I was only able to push my depression to the front of my to-do list when it came close to killing me. It shouldn’t take that much for anyone.”

Not neglecting your condition also means complying with treatment recommendations, says Moe Gelbart, PhD, a psychologist at the Torrance Memorial Medical Center in Torrance, California. “It’s quite common for patients to resist taking medication,” Dr. Gelbart says. “This could be due to side effects, like weight gain and decrease of sexual libido, or just to a sense that if they take medication, they’re admitting something is wrong with them.”

He advises people to accept depression as an illness, not as a sign of weakness or defect — something Harman echoes as well. Managing depression is not unlike managing any other chronic illness, such as diabetes, Harman has learned. “These are typically life-long illnesses that simply require good maintenance,” he says. “Without kind attention, either one can end very badly: Both can be fatal.”

2. You’re Not Alone, So Seek Help and Support

“You are not alone,” each person interviewed says.

The reality, says Harman, is that “depression is an indiscriminate mother.” It affects all different kinds of people: “the pretty ones and the not-so-pretty ones, the quick and the slow, the rich and the poor.”  

Yet everyone interviewed says they battled loneliness, and emphasize the importance of support networks .

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“Feeling completely alone was a huge problem for me,” Hutton says. “I started to believe I was worthless.” Going back to school helped ease her symptoms because she could focus on something new. “It didn’t completely go away, and I’ve had many setbacks since, but a new direction in life pulls me back from the worst of it.”

Seeking help sooner might have helped Everyday Health columnist Therese Borchard avoid a breakdown that lasted two years after her second child was born, she says. Lukasik says he was “profoundly lonely” and would have benefited from a support group sooner.

Not having a local community should not keep you from finding a support network in the age of social media, suggests Claude, who established a depression support website . He found a “wonderful community of mental health advocates” on Twitter who offered substantial support. Borchard also started the Beyond Blue Foundation , a nonprofit organization that provides hope and support to people with treatment-resistant depression and other chronic mood disorders.