Self-renewal and Professionals' Self-development 28MANAGEMENT THROUGH INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Self-development through Renewal --Damodar Suar________________________________________________Objectives After completing this chapter, you will be able toUnderstand self-concept, process of self-development, and dimensions of self-renewal. Establish the relationship between self-development and dimensions of renewal.Prioritise the dimensions of renewal, and the strategies and methods for self-development.Know the strategies and methods for vocational, social, spiritual, and physical renewal.Rationalise and devise strategies and methods of renewal for your self-development. All of us have a set of cognitions and feelings towards ourselves. The term most commonly applied to this set of elements is self or self-concept. It includes all those identities of I, 'me', and mine together with the traits, feelings, beliefs, values, judgements, and expectations associated with them. An individuals self-concept changes with maturity and experience. It is superficial to say that so-and-so is the same person what she was five years ago. The overall self-concept is an organised cluster of many selves. Accordingly, every person performs multiple roles of father or mother, husband or wife, business personnel, cricketer, social worker, and so on. Conflicts among any of these roles create tension, dissatisfaction, and psychological discomfort. For example, a person sees herself or himself as a good parent and a good business executive. Business demands more time creating possibility of neglect of family. Both roles cannot be realized simultaneously. The person faces a conflict. So what happens? Family gets the weekends and business gets the remaining days. If by any chance, the teen-age child develops any emotional problems that can be ascribed to parental neglect, then really distress builds in the person. If the person can integrate business and family roles together-- staying in the family performs business roles or vice versa, behaviour would be consistent and effective. Disintegrated roles cause conflicts. The definition of self differs across cultures. In collectivist cultures of many Asian and African countries, self is viewed as interdependent with others accompanied by sharing of resources as in family. Collectivists give priority to in-group goals, and use the group as the unit of analysis of social behaviour. In individualistic cultures of Western Europe and North America, self is viewed as autonomous and independent from groups. Such characteristics and expressions are socially conditioned. These are emic or culture-specific elements. Other characteristics such as self-reliance, altruism, courage, truth, love, etc., are universal, the etic elements of self (Berry et al., 1992). To broaden the self-concept, one needs to inculcate the etic along with the emic elements. Ultimately, self regulates the way we think, feel, and act. With rising unemployment, killer diseases, violence, poverty, energy shortage, downsizing, and with many more difficulties and uncertainties pose a greater challenge to control our lives and individual destinies than was the case in the past. Taking charge of our lives means freedom in choice and decision making, taking initiative, developing a sense of mastery, and entertaining calculated risk for the sake of growth. Self-development (SD) is the golden key that can unlock the door to realise and unfold ones potentiality for success in life. SD Cycle SD implies change in thinking (new ideas, concepts, theories, and beliefs), feeling (new attitudes, emotions, and moods), and action (a preparedness to do or not to do). (1) Discovery of problem Problem Experience Happening Surprise Puzzlement (2) Invention of solution options (4) Implementation & EvaluationObserving Trying things out Reflecting New actions and expectationsThinking Discussing (3) Production of new actionsNew concepts, ideas, values, newawareness, attitudes, motivations, skills In SD, learning occurs through iterative cycles of (1) concrete experience, (2) reflective observation on possible solutions, (3) conceptualisation of new solutions and actions, (4) active experimentation on them, and concrete experience again. Box 7.1 SD: Learning to Meet Requirements of Vocational and Social LifeMonali is a graduate steno-typist and a housewife. She is affectionate, disciplined, and has nurtured her baby well. She avoids party, gatherings, friends of her husband, and she hardly talks with others in office. She fails to reply the questions asked by immediate superiors in office. She is unable to communicate in English and has poor general knowledge. She becomes unhappy with herself and experiences anxiety. After one and a half years of working in office, she now reflects on her behaviour. She thinks of taking up a course in spoken English offered by a local Institute after the office hours, from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. She speaks with her husband and family members. All agree to take care of the baby and marketing that she did during that period. She attends the course for three months. To perfect pronunciations, she listens to the English news on TV everyday. Everyday, she reads the English newspaper and on finding any difficulty in understanding words, she checks them in dictionary and writes the words five times with their meanings to prevent forgetting. Gradually in office, the immediate superior appreciates her neat typing, and improved communication. When friends of her husband come to her house and open discussion on local issues and politics, she contributes clearly and makes her points. All involved in discussions compliment that she is right. Knowing that she has improved and has become knowledgeable, employees in office consult her whenever they have some problems. She is now invited by the local Women Association to be a member there. Gradually her anxiety evaporates, she gains confidence in speaking, general knowledge, and others establish relationship with her. In short, she has changed herself with the acquisition of skills to meet the requirements of office and social life. Will everyone develop? Individuals develop as they want to and as their reflection and realisation enable them to. Everybody asks: what do I want to do with my life? What must I do to be myself? Beethoven continued to compose music after he became deaf, and Milton did not allow blindness to interfere with writing.Bray, Campbell, and Grant (1974) conceptualised two life styles in organizational context. (a) Those who have enlarging life style broaden knowledge, improve physical fitness, take part in professional activities, contribute to community service, develop new ways of working, and show concern for challenging job, future growth, and job benefits. (b) Those who have enfolding life give importance to family, religious activities, spiritual pursuits, socialisation with others, leisure-oriented activities, and rapid promotions. The enlargers develop faster than the enfolders. Those who develop are positive thinkers, growth seekers, self-actualisers, and have a constant desire to better in life. Others only facilitate and guide. Dimensions of RenewalFour dimensions of renewal are conceptualised. Renewal refers to those activities that allow us to routinely pause and update our skill, knowledge, and attitude. First, vocational renewal incorporates the acquiring of skills and knowledge for effective role enactments in work life. Second, social renewal includes the development and sustenance of interpersonal relationships. Third, spiritual renewal involves the inculcation of values or a striving to attain the qualities of higher self. Fourth, physical renewal involves the caring for body. Prioritisation of Renewal Dimension and Evaluation of Strategy Table 7.1 Deciding the Importance of Renewal in LifeRenewal dimensions Vocational Social SpiritualPhysical Q.1. How much percentage of time and energy do you devote to this area of renewal in your life now?Rating: 0% to 50%Rating score (Q.1)01505Q.2. How much percentage of time and energy should you devote to this area of renewal in your life now? Rating: 0% to 50% Rating score (Q.2)105510Difference (Q.1- Q.2)-1010-5-5Priority of renewal dimension for lifeFirstFourthSecondThirdTable 7.2 Balance Sheet for the Strategy on Foreign Education Strategy or method for renewalPositive anticipated outcomeNegative anticipated outcomeTangible gains or losses for theindividual1. Increased competency 2. Scope for promotion1.Fear of failure in completing the educationTangible gains or losses for others 1.Increased income for family 2.Project in R & D Unit would be handled effectively1.Conflict between professional and family goalsEasy or difficult to carry out1.Likelihood of success is more than 50%2.Sabbatical leave with one years full pay 1. Departmental colleagues would not favour because new project without me would be difficult to handleSocial approval or disapproval 1.Admiration from others 2.Higher authorities in organization favour1.Peers envy Some strategies and methods can be renewed daily, others periodically, and still others on specific occasions. Definitely, difficulties will arise in trying out with any strategy or method. It requires one's faith that difficulty can be overcome with determination, hard work, and commitment. For example, the individual cannot expect to become physically fit by going for a three-mile walk once. If the person can walk three miles daily at a particular time, the benefits can be realised gradually.First, one has to structure time daily, periodically, or choose certain occasions for renewal. For daily renewal, the time before breakfast, or dinner is suitable. Find out a place where one can do the renewal undisturbed and unwatched. Ones own room, an isolated spot, or a clean patch in garden where one is safe, will serve the purpose. If there is a phone, disconnect it, if a TV, switch it off, or if there is a door, close it or hang a Do not disturb sign on it (although that sometimes invites disturbances). The goal is to do the renewal accurately, quickly, and deeply without any disturbance. Second, renewal makes SD activities a natural part of life and prevents relapse. It maintains SD activities routinely and makes them a habit by repeating. If one is aware that studying three hours a day updates knowledge, a habit is formed studying three hours daily. If one does not study daily, relapse occurs that makes it difficult to reinstitute SD efforts. Third, renewal helps evaluating strategies or methods by analysing their outcomes in terms of costs and benefits. It covertly reinforces the individual to retain those that are found most beneficial and least costly to self and others. It provides insight to improve or modify a strategy or method based on ones own experience, or to devise a new strategy to abandon the old one, and add that to the list of existing strategies. Vocational RenewalJob-listing: Doing Todays Work TodayEveryday clear the desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate jobs. List the jobs that need to be done. Delegate job responsibilities to others whenever found necessary (Box 7.2).Prioritise the jobs in order of importance and fix the time limit for each.Organise the resources (computer, peer support, machines, etc.) associated with different jobs. Do the first thing first so that tension is released.After completing a job, relax through conversation, sit coolly, vacate the chair, etc.Attempt the next one, and work through the duty-hours till all jobs are completed. Doing this daily would inculcate confidence and self-discipline, ensure time-management and target realisation, and leave time for other activities. This is a planning and problem-solving approach to daily activities. Box 7.2 Steps to Effective DelegationDelegation of responsibility extends results beyond what a person can do, releases the time for other jobs, puts decision in the hands of those who have the expertise, speeds up work, and develops others. The steps for effective delegation are as follows (Culp & Smith, 1997): 1. Evaluate both the job responsibility and the person. Choose a capable person with right aptitude and willingness for the responsibility to be delegated. 2. Make sure that the person understands and accepts what is being delegated. Express confidence in the person that would affect his/her performance. Communicate in writing about the expected results and set an agreeable deadline for job completion. Allow flexibility. If you rigidly define steps to carry out the job, the person may not take the initiative.3. Give and define the persons extent of (full or partial) authority. Mention the supporting financial, material, and human resources to carry out the job. Those affected by the new delegatees authority need to be communicated to provide necessary support.4. Follow up. Monitor the persons work through periodic reporting and review sessions, ahead of time so the person feels supported but not suffocated. Maintain open lines of communication for the persons consultation with you and your suggestion to the person.5. Accept the other approaches to the job. The person may not have done the job the way you would have, but if it satisfies the goal, accept the job. If you change it in your way, the person may not take the initiative again. 6. Acknowledge and recognise. Give positive feedback for successful completion of delegated responsibility and consumption of authority.Personal Journal or Diary WritingThis is a way of reflecting regularly what one has been doing and what could have been done to be effective in vocational life. Practising this everyday would help one in understanding oneself and others critically, and the organizational resources. It would enhance logical thinking, self-discipline, willpower, and ultimately make the person more effective in job than earlier.Periodic Competency Mapping and Self-monitoringSD would be fostered (a) finding gaps between existing and required levels of competencies, (b) evolving strategies through self-reflection to bridge the gaps, and (c) implementing the same. The employee can reflect and list the competencies required for the job. The list can be finalised considering the key performance areas from performance appraisal record, discussing with superiors, star performers, and colleagues. To know the extent of the employees existing and required level competencies in the job, one can get the feedback from superiors and trusted colleagues on a rating scale (Not at all = 1, To a great extent = 5) to avoid bias. The average ratings on existing and required levels would reveal gaps (see the hypothetical Table 7.3). Table 7.3 Competency Progress Chart Name: ------------------------------------- Required Competency = RC; Existing Competency = EC; Gap (G)= EC-RC; Goal Achievement Period (in months) = GAPM; Strategy=S; Monitoring EC in 1 Month =1M; Monitoring EC in 2 Months=2M; Changing Strategy= CS; Yes= Y, No= N.____________________________________________________________________ Not at all To a little To some To a moderate To a great = 1 extent = 2 extent = 3 extent = 4 extent = 5Competency categoriesRC EC GGAPMS1MG2MG3MGCSTaking initiative51-44S11-41-41-4YManaging team43-13S13-13-140NResolving conflict43-13S13-13-140NGenerating creative ideas52-310S12-32-33-2NCommunication skills52-312S12-32-33-2NWorking with computer51-412S1S21-42-33-2NPeriodic Analysis of Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and ThreatsTake a piece of paper and fold it from the middle twice to create four cells for SWOT analysis and to write 8 to 10 points in each cell (Figure 7.2). Write each point as objectively as possible. Reflect and specify the positive microenvironment forces such as demand for data processing, recruitment of smart person, reservation for minorities, etc. List the adversities in the environment that can act against oneself such as demand for experienced people, downsizing, corruption, etc. Reflect and mention your strengths such as data processing ability using statistical and financial packages, full knowledge of financial management, one year of job experience in finance area, etc., and your weaknesses such as poor communication skills, lack of ability to exert influence on colleagues, etc.Using SWOT analysis, one can make a fit between ones strengths and the environmental opportunities. Also, the individual can devise strategies to overcome weaknesses and minimise threats in the microenvironment. SWOT analysis will picture ones self in periodic intervals; make one aware of facilitating and impeding forces in microenvironment; stimulate to develop new skills, knowledge, and interests; and smoothen promotion and career change.Strengths of Self 1.2..10.Weaknesses of Self1.2..10. Opportunities in Microenvironment 1. 2..10.Threats in Microenvironment 1.2..10.Figure 7.2 SWOT Analysis Technological Upgradation (a) Participation in Professional BodiesIt is vital for employees to become members of professional bodies for networking, and understanding the latest practices being followed in the profession. (b) Participation in Seminars/Symposia, and Continuing Education Continuing education and short-term courses offered by reputed institutes, deal with the latest concepts, theories, and technology in specialized fields, and their application to different trades. Reading and Writing Box 7.3 Method of ReadingResearch shows that one method of reading yields more learning for the time spent. It is not speedy reading. It is SQ3R (survey, question, read, recite, review) method (Robinson, 1970). This method of reading is a sequence of steps that together define reading for the sake of relevance and learning:Survey the reading assignment, flipping through the pages of the whole thing.Question what is going to be learned, by looking at a few of the headings, tables, and figures and wondering what they are about.Read the material, pausing every so often to do the last two steps.Recite the answers the material provided to the questions you generated earlier.Review the main points of the reading assignments after you finish reading. Box 7.4 Writing Articles Based on ExperienceSelect the Experience (1) Is the experience important or unique? (2) Think of the experience as questions: What? Why? How? When? Where? Who? (3) Check the appropriateness of the questions and narrow the questions for writing the article.Outline the Article (1) Narrow and sharpen focus of questions. Arrange them sequentially. (2) Specify the contents to answer incorporating essential details. (3) Prepare supporting evidence and data to supplement the contents wherever necessary. Writing the Article (1) Set the stage for writing: Why is the topic important and relevant? Mention the questions or formulate objectives. (2) Use headings and subheadings to confine to the points, and stick to outlines. (3) Write clearly and logically to be understood but not to impress. (3) Use short sentences up to 14 words each. Omit unnecessary words and jargons. (4) Use active but not passive voice. (6) Check the spelling and grammar. (7) Use computer word-processing, get a printout, then correct it again and again, cut unnecessary details by reading the draft many times. Then get the print out of corrected version.Revise the Article (1) Show the draft to someone who has knowledge or similar experience for comments. (2) Get away from the article for a few days. (3) Consider the comments seriously and revise the draft accordingly. (4) Prepare an abstract of the article-- a comprehensive summary of the contents-- in readable and well organised way and put that in the beginning after the title page. (4) Check the spelling, grammar, and comply with journal guidelines before submission for publication.Social RenewalSocial renewal (a) satisfies the socio-emotional needs on ongoing basis, and (b) anchors for personal security. People can renew the relationship with family and friends and can establish relationship with those for whom they experience empathy and trust (Luft, 1961), for sorting out problems. Renewal of Relationship with Family and FriendsBox 7.5 Principles to Influence PeopleCarnegie (1982, pp. 200-201), citing anecdotal evidences, derived the following principles to influence people during discussion. (1) Start conversation in a friendly way. (2) Avoid arguments. (3) Show respect for the other persons opinions. Never say, you are wrong.(4) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. (5) Let the other person do a great deal of talking. (6) Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. (7) Try honestly to see things from the other persons point of view. (8) Be sympathetic with the other persons ideas and desires. (9) Appeal to the nobler motives. (10) Present your ideas impressively.Beyond working hours, people can renew the relationships with family by being with spouse and children during festivals, entertainments, daily breakfast, lunch and dinner, solving family problems, listening to family members, acknowledging one anothers ideas, and encouraging and supporting constructive activities. The relationships with trusted and empathetic friends can be renewed through periodic visits, discussing and sorting out problems drawing upon mutual resources and support (Box 7.5).Social SkillSome people having social skills do not perform them, and they also need to learn certain social skills (greeting, responding, requesting favours, inviting, declining requests, problem-solving in relationship, expanding relationship, etc.). To perform the social skills the individuals already have, establish a hierarchy and start with the simplest and briefest. Reinforce yourself for approximating the real goal. Also, with each success, raise the goal slightly. To acquire new skills, define the areas of behaviour deficits you want to overcome, and watch how others perform them. Hone these skills by role-playing with others. Get the feedback from others about the performance in role-playing and continue it till you are satisfied (Yates, 1985, pp.286-325). Many business executives and dignitaries also role-play difficult situations before they face those situations. Social skills enhance friendliness with a purpose. This does not mean that socially skilled people socialise continually and fail to trade alone. Understanding and controlling their own emotions, they empathize with the feelings of others, and are expert persuaders. They build bonds widely in vocational life because they know that in these fluid times, they may need help someday from people they are just getting to know today (Goleman, 1998). InteractionThe overall satisfying interaction among people each time can hold them together with positive feelings for further interaction. Each time, a straightforward, intense, and complementary communication (where a stimulus from one person gets an expected response from another) induces satisfaction, the interacting parties continue their business as long as possible. Transactional Games In interaction, many disturbed people show a set pattern of repetitive behaviour with hidden motives that induces negative feelings of anger, fear, sadness, and guilt in others. In transactional analysis, these are the games of blemish (putting another down for minor flaws), uproar (fighting where one is accuser and another defendant), and others that people play while interacting with others. Autonomy ensures game-free behaviour.Being autonomous means being self-governing, determining ones own destiny, taking responsibility for ones actions and feelings, throwing off patterns that are irrelevant and inappropriate to living. A truly autonomous person releases three capacities: awareness, spontaneity, and intimacy. Assertiveness A technique called Describe, Express, Specify, and Consequences (DESC) can be followed to be assertive (Bower & Bower, 1976). In DESC technique, first describe the problem (you have been asking me to do your e-mail in the last four months). Next, express the feelings about the problem (I feel angry, you are taking undue advantage. I am your colleague but not secretary.). Immediately following this, specify what the individual wants the other person do, and identify the consequences (I like you stop asking me to do your e-mail, I will be happy to teach you how you can send e-mail. I think our relationship will be healthier.). The application of DESC technique arranges for a more equitable exchange between one and another, and checks deterioration of relationship. How do Organizations Facilitate Social Renewal? Is it Essential? Spiritual Renewal Mind-stilling Exercise Self-talk Exercise During the morning hours daily, in padmasan (lotus pose), the individual can appeal through silent self-talk: (a) Just for today, I will live the attitude of gratitude; (b) just for today, I will do my work sincerely; (c) just for today, I will not harm others; (d) just for today, I will be righteous; (e) just for today, I will be truthful; (f) just for today, I will be co-operative; (g) just for today, I will not fear or worry; (h) just for today, I will not be angry, be tolerant, peaceful, and so on (Suar, 2000). Daily reiteration of these would stamp in mentally and surface naturally in day-to-day business. Nothing is more powerful than persuading ones own self to practise the valued behaviour. Physical RenewalAvoidance of physical renewal incapacitates the body, and causes stress-related diseases that make it difficult to manage other dimensions of renewal. Thus, physical renewal asserts primacy over other dimensions. In essence, (a) endurance comes from 'aerobic exercises' (walking, jogging, swimming), (b) flexibility comes through stretching (exercises and yoga), and (c) mental strength comes from relaxation exercises and meditation. Given below are the methods that can be adopted by people irrespective of age, sex, and position.WalkingYoga and Exercise Ten minutes a day to keep the diseases away includes sarvangasan (shoulder stand), pavanmuktasan (wind relieving pose), halasan (plough pose), padpaschimottanasan (posterior stretch pose), bhujangasan (cobra pose), shalabhasan (locust pose), dhanurasan (bow pose), and sinhasan (lion pose). Padmasan Savasan Sarvangasan Pavanmuktasan Halasan Padpaschimottanasan Bhujangasan Shalabhasan Dhanurasan Sinhasan Figure 7.3 Different Asans or Positions RelaxationThe most common methods for relaxation of muscles and mind are (a) savasan (or corpse pose), (b) meditation, and (c) laughter. Habit Control Antecedents-Behaviour-Consequences (ABC) analysis (Grant & Evans, 1994). Box 7.6 Gambling Habit Cessation by Controlling an Event in the Chain Stan was a compulsive gambler. He tried many ways to get control over his habit. Every morning as he dressed, he promised himself, Today I wont bet. Over breakfast, he repeated the vow to his wife. Over coffee on weekends, he went through the newspaper, eventually reaching the sports section. There he read about horseracing and began to think about the different horses that might win, place, or draw. The sense of urgency built up until, just before track time, it got out of control, and Stan, using every rupee he could lay his hands on, would place a bet. When he came for help, the therapist thought to intervene earlier in the chain than the final act of actual gambling. The therapist asked Stan if he could stop reading the morning newspaper. Stan stopped, gambling stopped too, and loan sharks disappeared from his life. The Doctor felt Stan does not understand why he gambled. Without insight, the habit may relapse. Follow up by the therapist showed Stan had not placed a single bet in the last three years. For his daily morning newspaper he uses the Wall Street Journal, which lacks a sports section (Fensterheim & Baer, 1978, p.188).Box 7.7 Smoking to Non-smokingHari was a smoker. He smoked during office hours, coffee break, just after lunch and dinner, and whenever his friends offered cigarettes. He took a packet of cigarettes daily to office (antecedents). He explained that after smoking he felt relaxed, satisfied, and tension decreased. He was pressurised by peers in the office not to smoke. They complained about the health risk of smoking to others (consequences). Hari was forced to think to reduce smoking. He did not take the packet of cigarettes to workplace and avoided the friends with whom he was smoking. He established relationships with others who were reputed in the organization and were non-smokers. As a matter of coincidence, the employees had a meeting with the management, and all agreed to create a non-smoking environment. Management put up non-smoking signs in important places. Hari was forced to visualise the health risks to him and others before going to bed and set a target to give up smoking by a fixed date. He marked the date in the calendar. When alone or before going to bed everyday, he thought of the health benefits to him and others by being a non-smoker and reminded himself to be a non-smoker by that date. He quit smoking by that date. He himself told that to his new friends. The new friends greeted and communicated that to others. Here control of antecedents, consequences, realisation, determination, psychological reward of peers after non-smoking helped to cease smoking. Bad habits like smoking can be ceased meditating on the habit and vividly visualising its negative consequences regularly. Meditation techniques for this are discussed elsewhere (Summer, 2001).Food and DrinkUse of vitamin supplements, increasing consumption of fruits, vegetables, and fibber, and moderate consumption of animal fat predispose better health (Baum & Posluszny, 1999). Taking of 8 to 10 glasses of water daily keeps the body hydrated. ConclusionsVocational renewal discovers deficiencies in conceptual and technical skills (Katz, 1974) in workplace and compensates that by redirecting efforts. Vocational and physical dimensions of renewal contribute to mental renewal. Social renewal increases proficiency in managing relationships and building networks. Spiritual renewal inculcates values and principles in life. Physical renewal maintains the body. These are preconditions for success in life. Every renewal demands individuals will, time, and support of others. First, the essential ingredients for renewal are willingness, self-effort, and commitment that come from within. One must be prepared to invest these resources. Second, initially renewal would be difficult but with repetition would become a habit that would be hard to prevent. Third, the support of family or organization is sometimes required. Organizations can create renewal funds and support employees through education and training for learning renewal strategies and methods.Strategies and methods, discussed and prescribed for renewal, would stimulate thinking, and guide people to adopt a few, or to devise strategies and methods. Be a personal scientist. Keep experimenting until you find a combination of strategies and methods that works for you. Collect data on outcomes of using strategies and methods. First, strategies and methods can prevent vocational obsolescence and distribute efforts in all domains of life. Which domain is important to whom depends on family, society, and realistic self-perception. In present business environment, those who work in different professions, their work is mental rather than physical. Possibly, vocational and physical renewal would be more important to them than the other renewals. Second, renewal during adult (ages 15-35) and mid-life (ages 35-55) consciously can make the rest of life happier when one reflects and looks back.