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TO BE A COOL

KID ALL YOU HAVE

TO DO IS COME ALONG

Boomer Johnson

D A D Oh, Mr. Boomer Johnson was a-gettin’ old in spots G DBut you don’t expect a bad man to go ‘rasslin’ pans and pots. G D AHe’d done his share of killin’, but his draw was gettin’ slow, D A DSo he quits a-punchin’ cattle and he takes to punchin’ dough.

Our foreman up and hires him, thinkin;, age had rode him tame,But a snake don’t get no sweeter by the changin’ of his name.Boomer knew his business; he could cook to make you smile,But say he wrangled fodder in a most peculiar style.

He didn’t use no matches - left ‘em layin’ on the shelf.Just some kerosene and cussin’, and the kindlin’ lit itself.Pardner, I will tell you, it would give a man a joltTo see him stir frijoles with the barrel of his Colt.

He built his doughnuts solid, and it sure would curl your hairJust to see him plug the holes when he tossed them in the air.He drilled the holes plumb center every time his pistol spoke,‘Til the can was full of doughnuts and the shack was full of smoke.

We was all a-gettin’ jumpy but he couldn’t understandWhy his shootin’ made us nervous when his shootin’ was so grand.He kept right on performin’ and it wasn’t no surpriseWhen he took to markin’ tombstones on the covers of his pies.

They didn’t look no better nor they didn’t taste no worse,But settin’ at the table was like ridin’ in a hearse.We didn’t do no talkin’ and we took just what we got -We et ‘til we was foundered just to keep from gettin’ shot.

It was early one bright mornin’, I was feelin’ kinda low,So when Boomer passed the doughnuts, I answered, “Plenty, no.Coffee’s all this trip I’m takin’, cause my stomach is a wreck.”You could see the lust for killin’ swell the wattles of his neck.

Scorn his grub! He strung some doughnuts on the barrel of his gun.He shoved it in my gizzard and he says, “Yer takin’ some.”He was set to start a graveyard, but for once he was mistook -Me not wantin’ any doughnuts, I up and ‘saults the cook.

Did they fire him? Listen, pardner, there was nothin’ left to fire,Just a row of smilin’ faces and another cook to hire.If he found another outfit, and is cookin’ - what I mean,It’s where they don’t use matches and they don’t use kerosene.

Waltzing Matilda - Jimmie Rodgers [C] Once a jolly [G] swagman [Am] camped by a [F] billabong [C] Under the [Am] shade of a [F] coolibah [G7] tree And he [C] sang as he [E7] watched and [Am] waited till his [F] billy boiled [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me [C] Waltzing Matilda, [F] Waltzing Matilda [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[F] tilda with [G7]me And he [C] sang as he [E7] watched and [Am] waited till his [F] billy boiled [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me

[C] Down came a [G] jumbuck to [Am] drink at the [F] billabong [C] Up got the [Am] swagman and [F] grabbed him with [G7] glee And he [C] sang as he [E7] stowed that [Am] jumbuck in his [F] tucker-bag [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me [C] Waltzing Matilda, [F] Waltzing Matilda [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[F] tilda with [G7]me And he [C] sang as he [G7] stowed that [Am] jumbuck in his [F] tucker-bag [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me [C] Down came the [G] squatter [Am] mounted on his [F] thoroughbred [C] Up came the [Am] troopers [F] One Two [G7] Three [C] Who's the jolly[E7] jumbuck [Am] you've got in your [F] tucker-bag? [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me [C] Waltzing Matilda, [F] Waltzing Matilda [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[F] tilda with [G7]me [C] Who's the jolly [E7] jumbuck [Am] you've got in your [F] tucker-bag? [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me. [C] Up got the [G] swagman and [Am] jumped into the [F] billabong [C] You'll never [Am] catch me [F] alive said [G7] he And his [C] ghost may be [E7] heard as [Am] you pass by that [F] billabong [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me [C] Waltzing Matilda, [F] Waltzing Matilda [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[F] tilda with [G7]me And his [C] ghost may be [E7] heard as [Am] you pass by that [F] billabong [C] You'll come a-[Am] Waltzing Ma[G7]tilda with [C] me Billboard #41 1960

Cheeseburger in Paradise Jimmy Buffett / Bm - - A / Bm - - G / Bm - - A / D (hold) / G A D Tried to amend my carnivorous habits G A D Made it nearly seventy days G A D Losin' weight without speed, eatin' sunflower seeds E A drinkin' lots of carrot juice and soakin' up rays. G A D G A Bm But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams, some kind of sensuous treat G D G D Not zucchini, fettucini or bulgar wheat, but a G D A D big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat. Chorus: G A D Cheeseburger in paradise G A D Heaven on earth with an onion slice G A D Not too particular, not too precise, I'm just a G A D Cheeseburger in paradise / Bm - - A / D (hold) / G A D Heard about the old-time sailor men G A D They eat the same thing again and again G A D Warm beer and bread they said could raise the dead E A Well, it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn G A D But times have changed for sailors these days G A Bm When I'm in port I get what I need. G D G D Not just Havanas or bananas or daiquiris G D A D But that American creation on which I feed. Chorus Solo: / G - A - / D - - - / x4 No Chords: I like mine with lettuce and tomato Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer Well, good God Almighty, which way do I steer for my Chorus Repeat Intro

11/17/16, 9:02 PMSong-a-Matic Editor - Ukulele Music Prettifier by UkeGeeks Scriptasaurus

Page 1 of 2http://ukegeeks.com/songeditor

Donuts, Donuts"Gorgeous" Gary Ehrlich

To the tune of "Dona, Dona" by Sholem Secunda

In my office early morning, yawning mouth and a sleepy eye

I need caffeine and some sugar to achieve my daily high

Through the hall I stagger, to the Super Snack I go

There to buy some coffee and some tasty rings of dough

Chorus

I want donuts, donuts, donuts,

Donuts, donuts, donuts, dough

Donuts, donuts, donuts, donuts

Donuts, donuts, donuts, dough

Plain and chocolate, glazed and sprinkled, filled with jelly or with cream

Perfect starter for the morning, every sugar addict's dream

One, two, or a dozen, for breakfast, dinner, and lunch

Don't want toast or cereal now - donuts I will munch

Chorus: I crave donuts...

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E Am

G C G C

G C G C

E Am

G C E

E Am

Dm E Am

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E Am

G C G C

G C G C

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E

11/17/16, 9:02 PMSong-a-Matic Editor - Ukulele Music Prettifier by UkeGeeks Scriptasaurus

Page 2 of 2http://ukegeeks.com/songeditor

Waist expanding, teeth decaying, need new clothes for my pot belly

At the dentist I am crying as he drills my cavities

Buying Ultra Slim-Fast, I count my calories

In the gym I'm pumping iron, no more sweets for me

Chorus: No more donuts...

Late night lying in bed awake, to the kitchen I quietly track

Searching through the fridge and pantry to find me a midnight snack

I can't live without them, I would run a dozen miles

I may have a heart attack but I'll go with a smile

Chorus: Give me donuts...

Chorus: I love donuts...

Note: Standard GCEA Soprano Ukulele Tuning. Powered by UkeGeeks' Scriptasaurus • ukegeeks.com

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E Am

G C G C

G C G C

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E

Am E Am E Am Dm Am E Am

G C G C

G C G C

Grandma’s Feather Bed Page 1 of 1

Grandma’s Feather Bed (Jim Connor) G C When I was a little bitty boy, G D7 just up off-a the floor G C We used to go down to Grandma's house, G D7 G every month end or so C We had chicken pie and country ham G D7 and homemade butter on the bread G C But the best darn thing about Grandma's house D7 G was her great big feather bed CHORUS: G It was nine feet high and six feet wide, C G soft as a downy chick It was made from the feathers of forty 'leven geese A7 D7 Took a whole bolt of cloth for the tick G It'd hold eight kids, four hound dogs C G and a piggy we stole from the shed C We didn't get much sleep but we had a lot of fun D7 G On Grandma's feather bed G C After the supper we'd sit around the fire, G D7 the old folks'd spit and chew G C Pa would talk about the farm and the war G D7 G and Granny'd sing a ballad or two C I'd sit and listen and watch the fire G D7 ‘til the cobwebs filled my head G C Next thing I’d know I'd wake up in the morning D7 G in the middle of the old feather bed CHORUS

G C Well I love my Ma, an' I love my Pa, G D7 love Granny and Grandpa too G C I been fishing with my uncle, I wrestled with my cousin, G D7 G I even kissed Aunt Lou (eeeew!) C But if ever had to make a choice, G D7 I guess it ought to be said G C That I'd trade ‘em all plus the gal down the road, D7 G for Grandma's feather bed C I'd trade ‘em all plus the gal down the road….. CHORUS

ALBUQUERQUE IS A TURKEY (SUNG TO THE TUNE OF “CLEMENTINE”)

3/4 123 12

Albu-querque is a turkey, and he’s feathered and he’s fine,

Albuquerque is a turkey, and he’s absolutely mine.

He’s the best pet you can get yet, better than a dog or cat,

And he wobbles and he gobbles, and he’s awfully proud of that.

Albuquerque is a turkey, and he’s happy in his bed,

Because for Thanks…giving dinner, we eat egg foo yung in-stead!

11/17/16, 9:16 PMCat’s in the kettle - Weird Al Yankovic

Page 1 of 2http://bettylou.zzruss.com/catsinthekettle.htm#+9semitones;fret0

Cat’s in the kettle (video) (midi)

D-C-D D F1. Did you ever think when you eat Chinese : G D It ain't pork or chicken but a fat Siamese ? D F Yet the food tastes great, so you don't complain, G D but that's not chicken in your chicken chow mein. C Am Seems to me I ordered sweet and sour pork, F C D but Garfield's on my fork, F C D he's purrin' here on my fork. D CThere's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon, F G the place that I eat every day at noon. D C They can feed you cat and you’ll never know F C Dwhat they're wrappin' up in dough, boy, F C Dthey fry it real crisp in dough. + D - C-D D C2. Chow Lin asked if I wanted more G D as he was dialling up his buddy at the old pet store. D C I said, not today, I lost my appetite

11/17/16, 9:16 PMCat’s in the kettle - Weird Al Yankovic

Page 2 of 2http://bettylou.zzruss.com/catsinthekettle.htm#+9semitones;fret0

G D there's two cat's in my belly and they want to fight. C Am I was suckin on a Rolaid and a Tums or 2 F C D when I swear I heard it mew, boy, F C D and that is when I knew. D CThere's a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon F GI think I gotta stop eatin' there at noon. D CThey say that it's beef, or fish or pork, F C Dbut it's purrin' there on my fork, F C Dthere's a hairball on my fork. + D - C-D (orig.=capo 1st; midi= D-C-D...) (Weird Al Yankovic)

11/17/2016 Jambalaya by Hank Williams - Ukulele Chords and PDF

http://stewartgreenhill.com/ukulele/Jambalaya.html 1/3

CG

1952JambalayaHank Williams

2 chords used in this song

Good­bye, Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh

Me gotta go pole the pirogue down the bayou.

My Yvonne, the sweetest one, me oh my oh

Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou.

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and fillet gumbo

'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my ma cher amio

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o

Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou.

Thibodaux, Fontaineaux, the place is buzzin'Kinfolk come to see Yvonne by the dozenDress in style and go hog wild, me oh my oh

11/17/2016 Jambalaya by Hank Williams - Ukulele Chords and PDF

http://stewartgreenhill.com/ukulele/Jambalaya.html 2/3

Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou.

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and fillet gumbo'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my ma cher amioPick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay­oSon of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou.

Settle down far from town, get me a pirogueAnd I'll catch all the fish in the bayouSwap my mon to buy Yvonne what she need­oSon of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou.

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie and fillet gumbo'Cause tonight I'm gonna see my ma cher amioPick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay­oSon of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou.

Back to SongbookDownload song sheet (PDF)Chord grids C [original] Reset

Jambalaya on the Bayo...

§ Hank Williams [ C ]

MARGARITAVILLE 4/4 1…2…1234

Intro: | | | | | |

(1,2) Nibblin’ on sponge cake, watchin’ the sun bake, all of those tourists all covered with oil,

Strummin’ my four-string on my front porch swing, smell those shrimp they’re beginnin’ to boil CHORUS:

Wastin’ away again in Margaritaville, searching for my lost shaker of salt

Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, but 1) I know it’s nobody’s fault. 2) hell, it could be my fault 3) and I know it’s my own damned fault CODA I don’t know the reason I stayed here all season

Nothin’ to show but this brand new tat-too

But it’s a real beauty, a Mexican cutie, how it got here I haven’t a clue. CHORUS I blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop-top

Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home But there’s booze in the blender and soon it will render

That frozen concoction that helps me hang on. CHORUS CODA:

F G7 C Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, and I know it’s my own damned fault

Lemon Tree (Will Holt)             D        A7      D                       D          A7        D When I was just a lad of ten, my father said to me            D              A7        G          D              Em      A7        D Come here and take a lesson from the lovely lemon tree, D7      G              D           G                              G          D          Em Don’t put your faith in love, my boy. My father said to me.   G                 D              Em                     G          D7       G        I fear you’ll find that love is like the lovely lemon tree.  Chorus (Calypso strum) (G7)         C                                                                     G7 Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet.                                                                                        C But the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat. (2x)    A7        D                A7        D                              D            A7       D Beneath that lemon tree one day, my love and I did lie.     D          A7               G                D                  Em             A7       D A girl so sweet that when she smiled, the stars rose in the sky. D7   G                 D              G                        G               D          Em We passed the summer lost in love, beneath the lemon tree.        G          D         Em                         G            D7                 G The music of her laughter hid my father’s words from me.  Chorus           D            A7          D                           D          A7          D One day she left without a word; she took away the sun.         D          A7           G          D         Em                A7          D And in the dark she left behind, I knew what she had done. D7   G           D           G              G              D             Em She left me for another I’s a common tale, but true.     G           D                       Em         G             D7         G A sadder man but wiser now,  I sing this song to you.  Chorus 

ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI 3/4 123 12

On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese

I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table and on to the floor

And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden and under a bush

And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush

The mush was as tasty, as tasty could be

And then the next summer it grew into a tree

The tree was all covered, all covered with moss

And on it grew meatballs and tomato sauce

So if you eat spaghetti, all covered with cheese

Hold on to your meatball whenever you sneeze.

HOME ON THE RANGE 3/4 123 12

Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam, where the deer and the antelope play

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all day. CHORUS:

Home, home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all day.

How often at night when the heavens are bright with the light of the glittering stars

Have I stood there a-mazed and asked as I gazed if their glory ex-ceeds that of ours. CHORUS HARMONICA VERSE (PLAY CHORDS OF FIRST VERSE) CHORUS

Sneaky Snake (Tom T. Hall)

G G7 Boys and girls take warning C G If you go near the lake C G Keep your eyes wide open A7 D7 And look for Sneaky Snake G G7 Now maybe you won't see him C G And maybe you won't hear C G But he'll sneak up behind you D7 G And drink all of your Root Beer. CHORUS: G C And then Sneaky Snake goes dancin' G C Wigglin' and a-hissin' G Sneaky Snake goes dancin' A7 D7 Gigglin' and a-kissin' G G7 I don’t like old Sneaky Snake, C G He laughs too much, you see C G When he goes wigglin' through the grass D7 G It tickles his under-neath. G G7 Well, Sneaky Snake drinks Root Beer C G And he just makes me sick C G When he is not dancin', A7 D7 He looks just like a stick G G7 Now he doesn't have any arms or legs, C G You cannot see his ears C G And while we are not lookin', D7 G He's stealin' all of our beer. CHORUS