Write short and clear sentences

Complexity isthe greatest enemyof clear communication.

Express only one idea in each sentence.

Resist the temptation to put everything in one sentence.

Use short sentences

“The genius is having a ten-dollar idea in a five-cent sentence, not having a five-cent idea in a ten-dollar sentence.”

US Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

“The more complicated your information is, the shorter your sentences should be.”

(from “Writing to Win: The Legal Writer: The Complete Guide to Writing Strategies That Will Make Your Case—

And Win It” by Steven D. Stark)

Use short sentences

“Short sentences are a supreme advantage when communicating with people from a non-English speaking background. If you want your English to be understood worldwide—write short sentences. If you want to avoid embarrassing grammar mistakes and excruciating international misunderstandings—use short sentences. If you want your international clients to read your documents easily, confidently and accurately—use short sentences.”

“Global English for Global Business”by Rachel McAlpine

Recommended average number of

words per sentence in legal documents 15 words (Federal Register Document Drafting Handbook, October 1998) Between 15 and 18 (“Plain English: Eschew Legalese” by Judge Gerald

Lebovits, New York State Bar Association Journal, November/December 2008) 18 words (“Appellate Practice—Including Legal Writing From A Judge’s

Perspective”, by Judge Mark P. Painter) 20 words or fewer (US Federal Aviation Administration “Writing Standards, 20 words (“Legal Writing in Plain English” by Bryan A. Garner) 20 words (“How to write clearly” from European Commission) 20 to 25 words (“How to create clear announcements” Project on the Use of

Plain Language, by Hong Kong Securities and Futures Commission”) 20 to 25 words (“Tips for Better Writing in Law Reviews and Other Journals” by

Joseph Kimble, Michigan Bar Journal, October 2012) 22 words (“Just Writing: Grammar, Punctuation, and Style for the Legal Writer”

by Anne Enquist and Laurel Currie Oates) 25 words (“Mightier Than the Sword: Powerful Writing in the Legal Profession”

by C. Edward Good)

Variety in sentence length

While sentences should average about 15 to 25 words, they need not all be the same length, nor is this desirable.

If sentences are all long or all short, paragraphs may still be hard to read.

Caution:

Should you write all long, or all short sentences, you’ll presenttoo few or too many points of emphasis.

Variety in sentence length

Don’t make all your sentences

monotonous.

dense and hardto read.

choppy, telegraphic, and juvenile.

the same length

long

short

because it makes them

Sentence is too long

I learned I was selected for the job, so I called Jennifer immediately, and I told her the good news, and that evening we celebrated by going out to dinner.

31 words in four stringed thoughts

Revision 1

Original sentence Rewritten with conjunctions (and, so) deleted

I learned I was selected for the job, so I called Jennifer immediately, and I told her the good news, and that evening we celebrated by going out to dinner.

I learned I was selected for the job. I called Jennifer immediately. I told her the good news. That evening we celebrated by going out to dinner.

Revision 2

Original sentence Rewritten using a subordinate and an independent clause, combined first three sentences.

I learned I was selected for the job, so I called Jennifer immediately, and I told her the good news, and that evening we celebrated by going out to dinner. Sentence lengths just about right.

Upon hearing I was selected for the job, I called Jeanne and told her the good news.

That evening we celebrated by going out to dinner.

Emphasis

Bad example Good example

I called Jennifer and told her the good news, upon learning I was selected for the job.

Upon learning I was selected for the job, I called Jennifer and told her the good news.

Good test for sentence length

If a person has to read the sentence more than once to understand it, the sentence is too long.

Break up a long sentence into two;start new sentence with ‘And’ or ‘But’

Every accomplished writer of the English language, whether a legal writer or not, begins sentences with But and And.

Mark Cooney “The Truth About Conjunctions as Sentence-Starters” (Michigan Bar Journal, August 2010)

Charles DickensMark TwainF. Scott FitzgeraldEdgar Allan PoePearl S. BuckJ.R.R. TolkienThe DaVinci CodeTuesdays with MorrieAngela’s AshesHarry Potter books

US ConstitutionDeclaration of IndependenceFederalist PapersGettysburg Address

NewsweekNational GeographicForbesDiscoverSmithsonianThe New Yorker

Past and present US Supreme Court justices: Chief Justice Roberts, Stevens, Scalia, Kennedy, Thomas, Breyer, Ginsburg, Alito, Sotomayor; Oliver Wendell Holmes, Benjamin Cardozo, and Thurgood Marshall.

Use positive statements

Positive sentences are shorter and easier to understand than their negative counterparts.

Before

Persons other than the graduates may not sit in the auditorium.

After

Only the graduates may sit in the auditorium.

From Plain Language Initiative of Florida Governor Charlie Crist

Avoid dummy subjects (expletives)

Dummy subjects are empty expressions that:

obscure the real subject;

make the sentence longer;

delay the point;

encourage passive voice; and

hide responsibility.

Examples: Startinga sentence with

It is

It appears

There is (are)

It will be

How to avoid dummy subjects (expletives)

Instead of saying Try saying

It is my intention to

There is one thing bothering me

It appears to me that

It is essential for you

I intend to

One thing bothers me

I think

You must

Delete the dummy subject and movethe real subject to the front.

Exception to the use of “it is”

Beginning a sentence with “It” is permissible when the pronoun refers to its antecedent in the previous sentence.

Example:

“In spite of efforts to eradicate it, poor writing still survives. It is embedded in the bureaucracy.”

Avoid unnecessary preambles

It is important to add that...

It may be recalled that...

In this regard it is of significance that...

It is interesting to note that...

Use the active voice

Sentences in the active voice:the subject performs the action expressed in the verb. The subject acts.

Order: Who does what to whom

Active voice:

The dog bit the boy.

Passive voice:

The boy was bitten by the dog.

So what? Does it make a difference?

Either way, the boy has a bite and the dog is in trouble. Right?

From “The Power of Plain Talk”, State of Washington resource

Sentences in active voice are:

• generally clearer and more direct;

• more concise because fewer words are required to express action.

Right, but it takes the reader less time and effort to get the message when you use active voice.

Active voice vs. passive voice

Passive Voice Hits

Whitney Houston: “You will always be loved by me”

Eric Clapton: “The sheriff was shot by me but the deputy was not shot by me”

Minimize using the passive voice

The use of passive voice is one of the biggest problems with government documents.

More than any other writing technique, using active voice and specifying who is taking an action will change the character of your writing.

Identifying passive sentences

Passive sentences have two basic features, although both may not appear in every passive sentence.

1. The person doing the action follows the verb (“by phrase”).

2. A form of the verb “to be” combined with the past participle (generally with “ed”)

Avoid forms of verb “to be”

Created by David Bourland in 1989:

E! = E - e

Examples of E-Prime

Before:

Doe’s assertion that he was prejudiced by the joint trial is without merit.

Generally, an order denying a motion for reconsideration is not an appealable order where the only issues raised by the motion were disposed of by the original judgment or order.

After:

Doe’s assertion that the joint trial prejudiced him lacks merit.

Generally, the party moving for reconsideration may not appeal an order denying the motion if the original judgment or order disposed of the only issues raised by the motion.

US cases dismissed due to passive voice

Coroles v Sabey, 79 P3d 974, 981 (Utah App 2003)

J & A Vending, Inc v JAM Vending, Inc, 757 NYS2d 52, 55 (2003)

Castro v Hastings, 74 Fed. Appx. 607, 609 (CA 7, 2003)

Zito v Leasecomm Corp, No. 02 Civ. 8074 (GEL), 2003 WL 22251352, at *10 (SD NY Sept 30, 2003)

By Mark Cooney, Michigan Bar Journal, June 2005

In re MJB, 140 SW3d 643, 656 (Tenn App 2004)

United States v Wilson, 503 US 329, 334–35 (1992)

DaimlerChrysler Serv No Amer, LLC v State Tax Assessor, 817 A2d 862, 865 (Me 2003)

Arlington Educ Ass’n v Arlington School Dist No. 3, 34 P3d 1197, 1200 (Or App 2001)

100 million dollars worth of passive voice 1/3Pendergest-Holt et al v. Certain Underwriters at Lloyds of London,No. 10-200069 (5th Cir. March 15, 2010)

Robert Allen Stanford (born March 24, 1950) was the chairman of Stanford Financial Group of Companies. He was a prominent financier, philanthropist, and sponsor of professional sports.

He is in a Texas prison awaiting trial on charges his investment company was a massive seven billion dollar Ponzi scheme and fraud.

Issue: Whether the D&O (directors and officers) policy required the carriers to advance the defense costs for Allen Stanford and three other defendants.

Defense of insurance companies: They need not front the cost of Stanford’s defense because of the “Money Laundering” exclusion in the policy.

100 million dollars worth of passive voice 2/3

“Notwithstanding the foregoing Exclusion, Underwriters shall pay Costs, Charges and Expenses in the event of an alleged act or alleged acts until such time that it is determined that the alleged act or alleged acts did in fact occur. In such event the Directors and Officers and the Company will reimburse Underwriters for such Costs, Charges and Expenses paid on their behalf.”

Passive voice: “it is determined”

US Court of Appeals Fifth Circuit ruling: The insurers must advance the costs for the defense. Courts interpret unclear language in policy exclusions against the author -- the insurers. 

100 million dollars worth of passive voice 3/3

The underwriters -- as drafters of the policy -- could have unambiguously reserved a unilateral right to determine that the alleged acts in fact occurred.  Rather than saying "until it is determined . . . in fact, they could have said “until Underwriters determined”.  The parties’ word choice – “it is determined” -- leaves us guessing, but it hardly seems a drafting error, at least not an inadvertent one.

From passive to active

Passive voice Active voice

The report has been submitted by the committee.

A decision will be made by the mayor.

The committee submitted the report.

The mayor will decide.

Comparison: passive and active voice 1/2

Passive voice can be awkward:

Consultation from customers was obtained to determine the estimated expenses.

Active voice is more direct:

We consulted with the customers to determine the estimated expenses.

Comparison: passive and active voice 2/2

Passive voice is often longer:

The application must be completed by the applicant and received by the financial office by June 1st. (17 words)

Active voice cuts down the number of words:

We must receive your application by June 1st. (8 words)

Rewriting from passive to active

Passive voice Active voice

The river was pollutedby the company.

New regulations were proposed by us.

The following information must be included in the application for it to be considered complete.

The permit will be approved by our office.

The company polluted the river.We proposed new regulations.You must include the following information in your application.

Our office must approve your permit.

Variety in using the active voiceBy Mark Cooney, Michigan Bar Journal, May 2005

During the hearing, the hotel’s attorneys argued that the Consumer Rights Act could not be extended so far.

After reading the parties’ briefs and listening to their arguments, the court issued a written opinion denying the defendant’s motion.

Therefore, members of the House majority supported the proposed amendment.

Exercise: from passive to active

Original sentence

It is essential that editing from passive to active voice be learned by writers, whether lawyers or non-lawyers.

Possible revisions

Writers must learn to edit from passive to active voice.

Whether lawyers or non-lawyers, writers must learn to edit from passive to active voice.

Writers, whether lawyers or non-lawyers, must learn to edit from the passive to active voice.

By Mark Cooney, Michigan Bar Journal, June 2005

Exercise: locate and rewritethe passive voice (DOT website)

RP bags 2 AsiaSpa awards 

The Farm, the country’s own holistic healing and wellness center in San Benito, Barangay Tipakan, Batangas, was named “Spa Cuisine of the Year,” while Mandala Spa and Villas in Boracay took home the “Spa Treatment of the Year” award for its “Hilot trilogy,” at the recently-concluded 2009 AsiaSpa awards held at Armani Bar, Hong Kong.

Tourism Secretary Ace Durano acknowledged the awards, “These recognitions are continued testimony to the excellence of our Philippine spas.  The winners and all nominees serve as an inspiration to the entire tourism industry.”

was named (passive voice)

took (active voice)

Possible revision using active voice 1/2

RP bags 2 AsiaSpa awards 

The Farm, a holistic healing and wellness center in Batangas, and Mandala Spa and Villas in Boracay took home the “Spa Cuisine of the Year” and “Spa Treatment of the Year” awards, respectively, at the recently-concluded 2009 AsiaSpa awards held at Armani Bar, Hong Kong.

Problem word

Possible revision using active voice 2/2

RP bags 2 AsiaSpa awards 

The Farm, a holistic healing and wellness center in Batangas, took home the “Spa Cuisine of the Year” award while Mandala Spa and Villas in Boracay got the “Spa Treatment of the Year” award at the recently-concluded 2009 AsiaSpa awards held at Armani Bar, Hong Kong.

Exercise: locate and rewritethe passive voice (CSC website)

Historical Highlights

The civil service system in the Philippines was formally established under Public Law No. 5 ("An Act for the Establishment and Maintenance of Our Efficient and Honest Civil Service in the Philippine Island") in 1900 by the Second Philippine Commission. A Civil Service Board was created composed of a Chairman, a Secretary and a Chief Examiner. The Board administered civil service examinations and set standards for appointment in government service. It was reorganized into a Bureau in 1905.

The 1935 Philippine Constitution firmly established the merit system as the basis for employment in government. The following years also witnessed the expansion of the Bureau’s jurisdiction to include the three branches of government: the national government, local government and government corporations.

In 1959, Republic Act 2260, otherwise known as the Civil Service Law, was enacted. This was the first integral law on the Philippine bureaucracy, superseding the scattered administrative orders relative to government personnel administration issued since 1900. This Act converted the Bureau of Civil Service into the Civil Service Commission with department status.

In 1975, Presidential Decree No. 807 (The Civil Service Decree of the Philippines) redefined the role of the Commission as the central personnel agency of government. Its present mandate is derived from Article IX-B of the 1987 Constitution which was given effect through Book V of Executive Order No. 292 (The 1987 Administrative Code). The Code essentially reiterates existing principles and policies in the administration of the bureaucracy and recognizes, for the first time, the right of government employees to self-organization and collective negotiations under the framework of the 1987 Constitution.

Spot the errors and areas for improvement: DOLE website

NCMB settles complaints on illegal dismissal

Labor and Employment Secretary Rosalinda Dimapilis-Baldoz yesterday announced the resolution by the National Conciliation and Mediation Board (NCMB) of the complaints of two area managers of Accent Micro Products / PC Live Enterprises through the Free Legal Assistance and Voluntary Arbitration (FLAVAS) program. Citing a report from Executive Director Reynaldo R. Ubaldo of NCMB, Baldoz said that the complaints of managers Marivic Catena and Corazon Tobias against their employer was amicably settled through NCMB's Free Legal Assistance and Voluntary Arbitration System (FLAVAS) program which the NCMB extends to individual and unorganized workers using the single entry approach (SENA). “The Department of Labor and Employment-initiated reform measures in labor arbitration and adjudication—a key item in the 22-point labor and employment agenda of President Benigno S. Aquino III—continues to be a better alternative than arduous and expensive litigation in settling labor disputes as the complaints of illegal dismissal or forced resignation “by two managers against their employer was settled amicably and speedily," said Baldoz.

complaints (plural)

was settled (singular)

Possible revision using Plain English

NCMB settles amicably complaints on illegal dismissal

Labor and Employment Secretary Rosalinda Dimapilis-Baldoz yesterday announced the amicable and speedy settlement by the National Conciliation and Mediation Board (NCMB) of the complaints of two area managers of Accent Micro Products / PC Live Enterprises against their employer through the Free Legal Assistance and Voluntary Arbitration (FLAVAS) program. 

Citing a report from NCMB Executive Director Reynaldo R. Ubaldo, Baldoz said the FLAVAS program settled the complaints of managers Marivic Catena and Corazon Tobias. The NCMB extends the program to individual and unorganized workers using the single entry approach (SENA). 

Baldoz said, “The Department of Labor and Employment-initiated reform measures in labor arbitration and adjudication—a key item in the 22-point labor and employment agenda of President Benigno S. Aquino III—continues to be a better alternative than arduous and expensive litigation in settling labor disputes.”

When to use passive voice 1/2

Use the passive voice when the

Example

receiver is the focus of the action

doer of the action is unknown

doer of the action is irrelevant

situation calls for discretion

John was awardedthe medal.

The store was robbed.

The paragraphs will be numbered.

No decision has been made. (Your boss is sitting on the application.)

When to use passive voice 2/2

Frontloading (placing the most important keywords and phrases at the beginning of the line, since users scan web pages in an F-pattern, and often read only the first 2 words of a paragraph.

Use the passive voice for:

captions

hypertext links

bulleted lists

headlines

subheads

summaries

Parallelism

Written English is most clear and concise when ideas are expressed in a parallel pattern.

Patterns fall into four areas:

Words and phrases

Forms

Clauses

Lists

Parallelism: words and phrases 1/2Not parallel:

The construction manager established a protocol that includes reviewing plans every morning, asking questions at stated intervals, and the summarization of workat the end of the day.

Parallel:

The construction manager established a protocol that includes reviewing plans every morning, asking questions at stated intervals, and summarizing work at the end of the day.

Parallelism: words and phrases 2/2

Not parallel:

A daily protocol was established to review plans, field questions, and summarize work.

Parallel:

A daily protocol was establishedto review plans,to field questions, and to summarize work.

Parallelism: forms

Not parallel:

The production manager was askedto write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed manner.

Parallel:

The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.

Parallelism: clauses

Not parallel:

The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too much, and to do some warm-up exercises before the game.

Parallel:

The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too much, and that they should do some warm up exercises before the game.

Parallelism: lists

Not parallel:

The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and looking up irregular verbs.

Parallel:

The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and irregular verbs.

Keep subject, verb, and objectclose together

The natural word order of an English sentence is subject-verb-object. This is how you first learned to write sentences, and it’s still the best.

When you put modifiers, phrases, or clauses between two or all three of these essential parts, you make it harder for the user to understand you.

Example 1: gap between subject and verb

From Prof. Joseph Kimble, Michigan Bar Journal October 2007

Subject: deposition

Verb: may be used

Example 2: keep S-V-O close together

Original:

When any member of the board retires, the company, at the discretion of the board, and after notice from the chairman of the board to all the members of the board at least 30 days before executing this option, may buy, and the retiring member must sell, the member’s interest in the company.

Rewritten:

The company may buy a retiring member’s interest.

All the rest of the material modifies the basic idea, and should be moved to another sentence or at least to the end of the sentence.

Example 3: gap between parts of the verb

From Prof. Joseph Kimble, Michigan Bar Journal October 2007

Verb: may move

Ways to achieve sentence clarity

Use a syntactic arrangement that enhances clarity, logic,and readability.

Conditions Exceptions Interruptive phrases Modifiers Prepositional Phrases Antecedents Enumerations

Avoid interruptive phrases

Avoid interruptive phrases between the subject and the verb by moving them to the beginning or end of the sentence.

Subject: court Verb: may reduce

Enumerate at the end – not at the beginning – of a sentence

Example of long enumerationat the beginning of the sentence

BSP Circular No. 702, Series of 2010 (unfair credit collection practices)

The net take home pay of applicants who are employed, the net monthly receipts of those engaged in trade or business, or the net worth or cash flow inferred from deposits of those who are neither employed not engaged in trade or business or the credit behavior exhibited by the applicant from his other existing credit cards, or other lifestyle indicators such as, but not limited to, club memberships, ownership and location or residence and motor vehicle ownership shall be determined and used as basis for setting credit limits. The gross monthly income may also be used provided reasonable deductions are estimated for income taxes, premium contributions, loan amortizations and other deductions.

enumeration

Revision: enumeration placed at the end of the sentenceThe following must be used as basis for setting credit limits:

1. net take home pay of applicants who are employed;

2. net monthly receipts of those engaged in trade or business;

3. net worth or cash flow inferred from deposits of those who are neither employed nor engaged in trade or business;

4. credit behavior exhibited by the applicants from their other existing credit cards;

5. gross monthly income less deductions for income taxes, premium contributions, loan amortizations, and others; or

6. other lifestyle indicators such as: club memberships; ownership and location of residence; or motor vehicle ownership.

Avoid using provisos (‘provided that’or ‘provided, however, that’)

[1] David Mellinkoff, Mellinkoff ’s Dictionary of American Legal Usage (1992): ‘‘The proviso is one of the horrors of legal writing.’’

[2] Thomas R. Haggard, Legal Drafting in a Nutshell (2003): ‘‘Provided that . . . defies grammatical analysis. Provisos produce single sentences that are often hundreds of words long. Knowledgeable drafters have railed against them for years.’’

[3] G.C. Thornton, Legislative Drafting (1996): ‘‘On both historical and grammatical grounds the proviso stands condemned. . . . The case against the proviso is established beyond reasonable doubt by the ambiguity and uncertainty of the phrase.’’

“Down with Provided That” (Michigan Bar Journal, July 2004) by Prof. Joseph Kimble

Reasons to avoid provisos

1. The meaning is unclear –it can mean

• if• except• also• but

2. Its reach is uncertain – it may modify the preceding 12 words or the preceding 200.

3. It causes sentences to sprawl.

Bryan A. Garner, editor in chief of Black’s Law Dictionary

Two provisos produce one long sentencein BSP Circular No. 702Banks/quasi-banks and their subsidiary or affiliate credit card companies shall also provide the following information to their cardholders:

1. A table of the applicable fees, penalties and interest rates on credit card transactions, including the period covered by and the manner of and reason for the imposition of such penalties, fees and interest; fees and applicable conversion reference rates for third currency transactions, in plain sight and language, on materials for marketing credit cards, such as brochures, flyers, primers and advertising materials, on credit card application forms, and on credit card billing statements: Provided, That these disclosures are in addition to the full disclosure of the fees, charges and interest rates in the terms and conditions of the credit card agreement found elsewhere on the application form and billing statement; and

2. A reminder to the card holder in the monthly billing statement, or its equivalent document, that payment of only the minimum amount due or any amount less than the total amount due for the billing cycle/period, would mean the imposition of interest and/or other charges;

Provided, That such table of fees, penalties and interest rates and reminder shall be printed in plain language and in bold black letters against a light or white background, and using the minimum Arial 12 theme font and size, or its equivalent in readability, and on the first page, if the applicable document has more than one page.

Provided, That

Better alternative to provisos

Better way of making an exception to something just said:

Insert a period and start a new sentence with a capitalized But.

(This pattern was used in the US Constitution eight times.)

Example from the Family Code

Art. 33. Marriages among Muslims or among members of the ethnic cultural communities may be performed validly without the necessity of marriage license, provided that they are solemnized in accordance with their customs, rites or practices.

Art. 33. Marriages among Muslims or among members of the ethnic cultural communities may be performed validly without the necessity of marriage license. But the marriage must be solemnized in accordance with their customs, rites or practices.

Before and after 1/6

Before

If there are any points on which you require explanation or further particulars we shall be glad to furnish such additional details as may be required by telephone.

After

If you have any questions, please call us.

Before and after 2/6

Before

Rapid implementation of this proposal will be facilitated by our previous experience in delivering similar solutions.

After

We can do this quickly because we’ve done it before.

Before and after 3/6

Before

I trust this clarifies the matter for you and look forward to hearing from you in due course in respect of your decision whether or not you intend to take out a loan.

After

Please let me know if you want to take out a loan.

Before and after 4/6

Before

High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing process for children.

After

Children need good schools if they are to learn properly.

Before and after 5/6Before

It is important that you shall read the notes, advice and information detailed opposite then complete the form overleaf (all sections) prior to its immediate return to the Council by way of the envelope provided.

After

Please read the notes opposite before you fill in the form. Then send it back to us as soon as possible in the envelope provided.

Before

Your inquiry about the use of the entrance area at the library for the purpose of displaying posters and leaflets about Welfare and Supplementary Benefit rights, gives rise to the question of the provenance and authoritativeness of the material to be displayed. Posters and leaflets issued by the Central Office of Information, the Department of Health and Social Security and other authoritative bodies are usually displayed in libraries, but items of a disputatious or polemic kind, whilst not necessarily excluded, are considered individually.

Before and after 6/6

After

Thank you for your letter asking for permission to put up posters in the library. Before we can give you an answer we will need to see a copy of the posters to make sure they won’t offend anyone.

Short sentences and short paragraphs

Clear writing is as much about organization as it is about usingthe right words.

Short sentences and single-idea paragraphs give readers information in bite-size pieces that are easy to digest.

Logical organization: from wordsto sentences to paragraphs

1. anticipating the reader’s questions, and

2. answering them in the order they occur.

What will they think of next?

What will they think of next?

The Power of Plain Talk, from State of Washington resources

T-R-I model for paragraphs

Topic sentence:

The time a person spends preparing for a project will never go wasted.

Restrictive sentence:

What will be wasted is the time people spend correcting mistakes in a poorly-planned project.

Illustration:

In her book, Success Step-by-Step, efficiency expert Caroline Jefferson says, “The old adage is true: most people who fail to plan, plan to fail.”

The time a person spends preparing for a project will never go wasted. What will be wasted is the time people spend correcting mistakes in a poorly-planned project. In her book, Success Step-by-Step, efficiency expert Caroline Jefferson says,“The old adage is true: most people who fail to plan, plan to fail.”

University of Wisconsin

The time a person spends preparing for a project will never go wasted. What will be wasted is the time people spend correcting mistakes in a poorly-planned project. In her book, Success Step-by-Step, efficiency expert Caroline Jefferson says, “The old adage is true: most people who fail to plan, plan to fail.” Poorly-planned projects leave people wondering how they should proceed, so they spend their time addressing small details instead of working on big issues. At the end of the project, they have no time, lots of stress, and, considering the hours they’ve spent on the project, little to show for it.

Several illustrations

The time a person spends preparing for a project will never go wasted. What will be wasted is the time people spend correcting mistakes in a poorly-planned project. In her book, Success Step-by-Step, efficiency expert Caroline Jefferson says, “The old adage is true: most people who fail to plan, plan to fail.” Poorly-planned projects leave people wondering how they should proceed, so they spend their time addressing small details instead of working on big issues. At the end of the project, they have no time, lots of stress, and, considering the hours they’ve spent on the project, little to show for it.

T-R-I variation (with several illustrations)

T-R-I variation (two restrictive sentences)

Topic sentence:

Never before had the world known a thinker like Sir Isaac Newton.

Restrictive sentence (1):

He prompted a revolution in mathematics that still influences the way scientists think about empirical world.

Restrictive sentence (2):

Although Newton’s ideas were similar to those of other mathematicians of his era, his writing is more elegant, so he is usually credited as a revolutionary genius.

Illustrations:

In 1687, he published Principia Mathematica, which explains his laws of motion and his law of universal gravitation.

As he developed these laws, he also developed calculus, a math system that is still taught to mathematics and science students.

Never before had the world known a thinker like Sir Issac Newton. He prompted a revolution in mathematics that still influences the way scientists think about empirical world. In 1687, he published Principia Mathematica, which explains his laws of motion and his law of universal gravitation. As he developed these laws, he also developed calculus, a math system that is still taught to mathematics and science students. Although Newton’s ideas were similar to those of other mathematicians of his era, his writing is more elegant, so he is usually credited as a revolutionary genius.

Topic sentence Restrictive sentence 1

Restrictive sentence 2

Illustrations

Another paragraph pattern:topic, expansion, and conclusion

This court does not have subject matter jurisdiction over this matter for three reasons. First, no federal question is involved. Second, the amount in controversy is less than $50,000. Finally, both the plaintiff and defendant are citizens of North Carolina. Consequently, this court should grant defendant’s motion to dismiss.

Topic

Conclusion

Expansion

Paragraph with deductive structure: from general to specifics

The Democratic Party is the party of the middle class. Democrats believe that the middle class is the bedrock of this country. Democrats support lower taxes for workers, higher taxes for corporations, and child-care credits. They also advocate greater funding for education and expanding the availability of student loans. Finally, they support a woman’s right to an abortion.

Paragraph with inductive structure: from specific to general

Republicans support traditional family values. They also believe in hard work and patriotism. Republicans oppose abortion, restrictions on school prayer, and pornography. They also favor limiting welfare and criminals’ rights. Obviously, the Republican Party is the party of the middle class.

Chronological, spatial, or climactic organization of paragraphs

Our tour visited the Louvre while we were in Paris. We first saw the Greek art, where we viewed the “Venus di Milo” and hundreds of vases. Next, our group moved to the ancient art, and we examined the “Code of Hammurabi.” Our tour then proceeded to the painting collection to view the Mona Lisa. While in the painting section, we also saw French paintings by David and Delacroix. Finally, our group visited The Egyptian collection, and we left the museum by “Pei’s Pyramid.”

Judge Gerald Lebovits, New York City Civil Court;faculty member: Columbia University - Law School, Fordham University School of Law, and New York University School of Law

Recommendations

A sentence with more than 25 words is hard to digest. Each sentence should contain one thought and about 15–18 words.

A paragraph should rarely be longer than six sentences. It shouldn’t exceed one thought and two-thirds of a double- spaced page or 250 words, whichever is less.

Varying sentence and paragraph length makes your writing spicy and more readable. When in doubt, shorter is better.

Reserve one-sentence paragraphs for those sentences that must have great emphasis. If you use too many one-sentence paragraphs, the emphatic effect will be lost.

Also, too many short sentences or paragraphs in rapid order is angry-sounding, choppy, and distracting.