workzine issue 9 hires

8/14/2019 WorkZine Issue 9 HiRes

1/30

workzineIdle Thoughts of

guilty lawy

Deck the halls...

he

10things I hate about christmas

www.workzine.c

December 2009

Price : free for the ta

A Splash

and a dashErnest Bazanye

rhino

Bees Thou

Darlk

ona

ISBN 978-9972-695-76-5

www.workzine.com

9 9 3 7 2 6 9 9 3 7 2 69

Album Review

Troubadour

The Truth About Climat

Chang

Count Your Blessings

10

2

2

26

16


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3/30


4/30

get the party started!breakers

ice


5/30

The Shrink Is in

Business Watch

Drunken Medics

Bloody Tomato Sauce

6

11

11

11

The WorkZine

rocking you from the desk

Editor: Abid [email protected]

Editor: Raymond [email protected]

Designer: Cistech Solutionshttp://www.cistech.ug

The WorkZine is a tri-weekly publication aimed at the working class corporate crony like you. Yes, you.

To advertise please contact either of the edotors listed above or visit our visit our website atwww.workzine.com

theworkzine

rhinorck

Yusuf Mulinya

Linda Lillian

Ivan Mugisha


6/30

The Shrink Is InI like to think o mysel as a shrink, inact one o the subjects I wish to study one

day is that o Psychology. I have a desire to understand how other people eel aboutthings and o late its brought me into conict with the world.

have spent much o this year trying to understand lie and death and making a choice asto what they should mean to me. I think all human beings should engage in an attempt tocomprehend the meaning o Liberty, because sadly while many o us may think we are ree,our minds are still shackled by the indoctrination we endure as children..

Lie, has no meaning. No. Tere is no one above the sky, at least, we havent met anyone up thereyet. . I am sorry to report that despite whatever antasies we may have as regards our importance

in the universe, we are nothing more than a bunch o primates in the process o evolution.Tose o us predisposed to scientic act will know that as ar as humanity is concerned, the earthis about 4 billion years old, the universe, a staggering 13 billion years old. By the most conserva-tive estimate, that o Sir Francis Crick o the DNA ame, humanity has been around or approxi-mately 100,000 years at the most. Te palaeontologists, the people who comb the pages o timetrying to piece together what the earth has been like through the ages, report that over 90% o thespecies o lie that have ever lived are no more. Tose who study the stars have brought irreut-able evidence that our earth is an innitesimal speck in the vast mystery that is the universe. Teevidence is strong that the sun, the very thing that makes lie possible on earth will die in a coupleo billion years rom now. Biologists say that the species that will watch our sun die will be as

I


7/30www.workzine.com

@rhinorck

dierent rom us as we are rom amoeba. ruly appreciating these acts should be enough to humble even the mostegomaniacal bastard on the planet. Te message rom history is simple; we must evolve or die out.So what is it that makes us so unique rom all other lie on earth? Is it the act that a huge swathe o humanity be-lieves that around 3000 years ago, as ar as we can tell, a certain tribe o bumbling primates was visited by a divinebeing o irreutable power and sovereignty and granted avour and leave to rule the earth? Or that the same beingor another one entirely dierent appeared to another bunch o primates and told them that they had leave to spreadtheir message to the ends o the earth at any cost? Or is the truth in act that we are just like any other species tryingto make sense o our brie and meaningless existence as a ootnote in the history o the universe? Why do we think

we are so dierent rom ants?

I dont know the truth, I have the humility to realise that I know nothing or sure and that to seek to impose myviews on any other individual is to deny them the Liberty o using their minds to answer what truly are metaphysicalquestions. I have heard it said that we, as humanity, know less and less about lie, the universe and everything than wedid a century ago and the beauty o that act is that we know less and less about more and more. Lie is not denedby manmade boundaries but purely in the way you choose to perceive it; i your religion helps give you a denitiono it, then so be it, simply reserve my right to have my own denition o it.Te point o all this drivel is simply to impress upon you the act that your lie and the world you live in is yours tomould. Only you have the ability to change and impact the world you live in, rst by understanding your place in itand realising that there is no limit to your potential.

So lie to me is nothing more than a process o evolution and my part in it is to do my bit as ar as the survivalo our species is concerned while taking some sort o meaning rom it. I choose to do this by putting down mythoughts or posterity; by teaching the younger generation that i we are to survive as a species we must worktogether. Im o to get drunk and hopeully interesting things will happen ater that. Have yourselves a merrychristmas and a happy new year my ellow primates.

theworkz


8/30

Idle Thoughts o

a Gulity LawyeAter being in the feld or a year and a hal, I now know that its commercial law that pays. I know that I will not touch litigation wa long 2,000,000 inch pole because I know with our judicial systemwill be several years beore I receive a verdict



Bee

I realize that my outlook on my proession makesme seem greedy, and selsh, and trust me there arso many times when I eel exactly that way. But Ithink that ater six years o sweating it out in thredierent law schools, someone [read: client] hasgot to pay me or all that stress I went through!

Okay. Now I eel just plain mean. But i hopeit is not selsh to just want to succeed and be asuperb lawyer in the area I have chosen, which isCorporate Finance Law. I must admit that oneo the reasons I chose Corporate Finance Lawwas because I elt that the human rights law areais saturated with lawyers who really have a hugeinterest in protection and advocating or the righto those who really cannot do it or themselves.But the major reason, which I am really ashamedto admit, was obviously the money. And now that

I am writing about it I eel really bad.

Its not that I am not interested in helping thosewho cannot help themselves, but I am interestedmore in something that appeals to mecompaniesand all the stu that comes with them. In my reetime (and sometimes when Im busy), I give to thedisadvantaged, and I have no issues with taking onany number o pro bono cases. In any event whenI have to, I will deend any client to my death!!!!!But it is not something I would want to do every

hour o my working day because honestly my passion is corporate nance and obviously the moneyactually making lots and lots o money so I canretire young.

I hope my thoughts do not give anyone a wrongview o the legal proession because I only speakor mysel. Te majority o my peers would probablydisagree with me; its just that or me its honestly all

about the money. Does this make me a mean bad per-

son?? I dont know, maybe you guys will tell me.

I knew that I wanted to be a lawyer at the age o12. Beore that, I had always wanted to be a doc-tor since the whole idea o me being able to heal

another human being ascinated me. But a conver-sation with my mom one evening on the drive homerom school when I was in p.6 made me change mymind. She kinda hinted that my dad would be re-ally proud o me i I took ater him. And a ew yearsater that, those monthly thingys we women acekind o drove it homeI cannot stand the sight oblood (sorry or being gross, but I had to explainit). Law is a sort o tradition in my amily, my atheris a lawyer, so is my sister, my uncle, my aunt andseveral cousins-but we did not plan as a amily to be

lawyers, somehow it just happened.When I was younger, the main reason I wanted to do lawwas help the poor and the innocent. Tis was obviously wayway waaay beore I entered a law lecture room, because Ilook back now and I never took any human rights classeswhile at university. All the subjects that had a human aceto them, such as constitutional law and administrative law, Ionly did because they were compulsory. Beore law school Ihad all these ideas o what a lawyer should be and what sorto cases people should take, all these ideas obviously shaped

by all those John Grisham novels I love to read. But now, tobe honest, ater six years o studying law, two degrees downand me being an enrolled advocate, all I can think about ismoney, money, money. I want to do syndicated loans, andreorganizations on insolvent companies, leasing, companyormation, deal with dominant companies and how to con-trol them. I only think about the money.

Ater being in the eld or a year and a hal, I now knowthat its the commercial law that pays. I know that I will nottouch litigation with a long 2,000,000 inch pole because I

know with our judicial system it will be several years beoreI receive a verdict and any pay rom a client, unless its a bigcorporate client who you can constantly keep billing or yourexpenses. I realize that in the little time I have been part othe working class, the only litigation I have done is when Imhelping out a riend, or when I have to assist one o the moresenior advocates in my rm to adjourn a case when they can-not make it to court.

theworkz


10/30

Know Your RightsThe Employment Act 2006

@Jaqa

Ernest Bazanye

Did you know that in case o anemployee dying during the term oa contract o service his or her heirsor legal representatives shall beentitled to the wages and any otherremuneration due to the employeeat the date o death?Where an employee dies while atwork or travelling to his or herplace o work, the employer shall berequired to transport the employees

Iam a busy man. A very

busy man. I dont have time

or malarkey, codswallop, or

any o the many varieties o

nonsense others in the media

are constantly getting up to. I

am a busy man. Silina budde

bwakuwankawanka, to put it

succinctly.

I should translate that Lu-

ganda phrase or the benets

o readers in Burundi, but

there might be kids reading

and wankawanka sounds like

it could turn out to mean

something lthy.

A ew minutes ago I was

struck by thirst. I decided to

slake that shit with a Splash.

(Buy Uganda, Buy Quality).

So I leapt up o my desk

(I am very agile or my age)

and sprinted out o the oce

(my age is 44, thank you or

asking). Up the staircase I

ran, down the corridors I

few, through the alleyway I

rocketed, past Vision Voice

Radio and out o the door

I torpedoed, headed with

conviction and single-mind-

edness o a guided missile to

the container that sits hid-

eously outside our beautiul

new oce building.

Tere are no canteen a-

cilities in our oce building

because it is beautiul. oo

beautiul or our administra-

tion to permit any chance o

rats and roaches.

I got to the container, handed

the rude woman there a ve

k note, and said, Give me

Splash, you balding witch!

With her, I have learnt to

practice pre-emptive rude-

ness.

She gave me my change and

I jetted back to my desk at

similar speed and ollowing

a trajectory similar to the

one exhaustively described

already.

Only when I got back to my

desk I could not nd the

Splash anywhere.

I thought to mysel, Mr

Bazanye, you have nally lost

it.

Te Splash, not my mind.

Tis mind is so big it cannot

be misplaced.

I could honestly not remem-

ber. I was about to get all

my colleagues to stand up

and empty their pockets. Tere was

going to be some racas in this oc

I swear, until sanity (other peoples

sanity) prevailed and someone sug-gested I go back to the rude woman

I had to eventually walk back, at

more sober and sedate pace this tim

to the container to get the Splash

I had bought and let lying on the

counter. Te rude woman snorted a

me as she handed it over.

I there is a point to this whole stor

I hope you nd it soon.

body to a place o burial as notied bythat employees next o kin.

asplashand adash!heworkzine

www.workzine.com0



Business Watch:

The Next Credit

CrunchJust as you thought you had had enough o the credit crunch,you stumble upon this article. Tis article predicts yet anothercredit crunch. Tis time, it will not be about bad decisions bigpeople in big banks made. It will be about bad decisions smallpeople in small businesses are making, which collectively willtip, and have a big impact.

We are going to experience what I should coin Te Supplier CreditCrunch.Tis crunch is greatly going to aect the so-called big super-mar-kets, leading to the collapse o the Supermarket model. And what isthe supermarket model?Let me begin with a small background that describes the super-market model.Tese businesses, the supermarkets, largely thrive on the act that

they are able to obtain huge supplier credit. Tey invest heavily inpremises to obtain shel space and parking space or the potentialthousands o customers, possibly in more than one location. Teyurther invest in state o the art I systems to ensure accuratetracking o the thousands o items they will be dealing in. Tese Isystems include barcode scanners, point o sale systems, securitysystems, and ully integrated inventory management inormationsystems.Tey then nance their businesses purely on supplier credit. A basic

study o supplier credit will let you know that its the cheapest ormo credit available to a business. All the supermarkets do is guaran-tee suppliers that they have the perect location and are thus capableo attracting many customers thus promising suppliers big business.Te suppliers quickly sign supply contracts with these supermar-kets, availing goods on ree credit ranging between 30, 60 and 90days.Te Supermarkets open, the customers stampede through the

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doors, and as they promised theirsuppliers, big business fows in. Asmore items are taken o the shelvesby the customers, more are added onby the suppliers. Everyone seems tobe happy.However, here is the trouble, and letme illustrate this with an example.Suppose Supplier X signed a con-tract to supply inned ood to alarge supermarket Y-Mart, and inturn the supermarket agrees to payeach invoice o goods supplied atersay 30days. On day 1, supplier X de-

livers goods worth Shs.5m, payableon day 30. Since the supermarket

is generating good business, thesegoods are taken o the shelves in aninstant, thereby requiring the sup-plier to avail more goods. SupplierX at the end o the week deliversmore goods worth Shs.7m, and thisinvoice will be paid on day 37. thecycle goes on and on, until the sup-plier realises ater 30 days that hehas over 5 invoices outstanding to-talling to over Shs.30m, and yet onlythe rst invoice o Shs.5m is due tobe paid. Te bubble starts growing.Usually at this point, the supplierrealises he needs to re-nance hisbusiness to keep up with the de-

he takes on bank creditwhich charges 24% interestper annum, and at worstgoes to a money lenderwho charges 24% per

month.

mands o the supermarket, and atbest he takes on bank credit whichcharges 24% interest per annum,and at worst goes to a money lend-er who charges 24% per month. oadd insult to injury, Y-Mart, thesupermarket, reuses to honourits obligation o the 30 days andinstead decides to pay ater 45days, despite the thousands ocomplaints rom the supplier. Tesupermarkets seem to use their bignames to play dirty. Te bubblegrows urther, until the supplier

cannot handle it and either closesshop, or halts his supplies.In a nutshell, this is the best prac-tice throughout the supermarketindustry. It is rightening to notethat billions o shillings worth ogoods are outstanding in thesesupermarkets, and yet this goes onunregulated. What is even more

rightening is that suppliers agreedto give this kind o credit withoutany sort o due diligence. Howdoes one allow a supermarket tohold Shs.30m worth o stock with-out any credit checks or collateral,yet your bank will not give youShs.30m without checking your 3year audited nancial statementsand asking or collateral? Tese arethe bad decisions small businessesare making which are going to havea big impact.One can only hope that the rem-edy or this is or suppliers to orman association that holds theirinterests at heart. Tis associationshould, among other things, carry

out due diligence on behalmembers, give credit ratingto supermarkets, negotiateavourable payment terms

and generally act as a pressgroup which keeps these lasupermarkets greed in cheto save us rom the loominSupplier credit crunch.

heworkzine

www.workzine.com

Yusu MulinyaEdge Consult Ltd

2


13/30

2009 marked 250 years since Arthur Guiness came up with the Guiness formula. This festive seas

Workzine would like to invite all of you to raise a glass in honor of a great man and a great br

There is a drop of greatness in every man and for some there is an ocean.

To Arthurormzo

andomness is back{Friends}

Friends dont let riends sleep with each other... or touch eachher in special places.oys i you ever meet a woman who says she can sleep with you,th no strings attached, she is a liar- RUN, she is lying to you. I

now this.

Friends do not give each other Back rubsI am your riend, and Im giving you a back rub, be sure i wantsee you naked... why would i be giving you a rub i i dont

ant to pop those clothes o.

Friends dont hold each other while sleeping in the same beddo know, and through experience that a man and a womann share a bed and nothing between the two happens. But iu make a mistake o holding each other while sleeping, then

hings are going to get out o hand (har!)... Dont take that walkleep} o shame as riends.

Just dont sleep with your riends, it does not make sense.

Friends the truth is I just want to share with you that Halle

erry picture and truthully I do not care what you and yourends do between each other.

Friends i it so happens that you have to, between the two ou, dont orget that rubber.

Friends i we do not hook up...Happy Holidays

www.workzine.com


14/30

Work Diaryay: Fridayime Check 9:03 amocation: Te Oceur Brother has just arrived at the oce, he sings in and

hares a light moment with colleagues. Pours a cup o teahich he gently sips on while biting away at the doughnutsrovided by the Company on a daily basis which are big, tastynd absolutely ree! He runs through the days papers and

eads o to his workstation. He does have a long day ahead him ater all.

ime Check: 9:15 amocation: Workstation

He has just logged into his acebook account and noticeshere are a gazillion o his buddies online. Tis is the rightme to nd out how their nights were, what plans they haver the day and i anyone has tagged him in any silly pictures.ter replying to most o the comments ater his, its start-g to seem like he might not leave acebook so he does the

onorable thing and leaves his home page by clicking on theookmarked link below the page - Maa Wars

ime Check: 10:15 amocation : Still at the Workstationn hour down at the work place and so ar his days activitiese unolding so ast. For sure hes going to spend no more

han 30 minutes on Maa wars he promises himsel!!.

ime Check: 11:30ocation : Te Damn Workstationomehow, he could not leave maa wars with all that energy

nd stamina still ull so he had to use it all up and in the pro-ss, he leveled up which meant he had to stay a little longer use up the new energy that the Godather has just givenm. Just 30 more minutes

ime Check: 12:30 pmocation: o the Loo and then back to the workstation

He really needs to start on this oce work or else the Bossbound to come asking how ar he has gone with the reportr the AGM .he quickly looks at the les on his desk andarts looking through them one by one with extreme care

nd attention. Ten he hears a pop sound coming rom his

Computer notications. Beatrice just commented on his statuHe looks let, looks right and concludes that most o his colleagare busy observing stu on their PC screens so he stealthily clicon the notication with the innocent intention o replying it andgetting back to work. Ten he notices that Cathy just dropped hemail asking him or the weekend plot. Tis one must be attendto quickly or else the weekend plot might not be realized. As he replying the email, his boss head appears rom around the edge

the wall. He minimizes whatever is on his PC desktop and throa serious gaze at the les in ront o him. his concerned Boss askHow ar with the report?. Almost immediately, our brother answers, Not good. Not good at all. Tere is a lot o analysis I havdo so it might take a little longer. But Im working on it all the sBeore the end o today it will be ready. Te big man re-emphathe importance o the report and heads o to his chambers.

ime check: 1:10 pmLocation: Anywhere away rom the oceIts LUNCH IME. No matter how much work is let, this is HIME. So he gently but condently walks away rom his work tion making sure he has signed out o Faceobok, yahoo, myspacyoutube and meebo; plus two excel windows with bizarre accouare maximized and let or whoever is interested to see, just in csome nosy work mate might want to know i he has actually be ing some real stu.

ime Check 2:20 pmLocation: Back to the WorkstationBack rom lunch. Really ull and eeling too lazy to complete thereport. So he logs back into yahoo hoping to chat with a buddy his across the room; a more reliable and more ocused worker w

by all means will have no problem helping out a buddy especialldeadlines are involved; o course at a ee. He sends or the oce senger who dutiully shows up and picks the les to deliver themthe more ocused brother in the accounts section o the compan

ime Check 2:45 pmLocation: Workstation a (our brother) and b (ocused brother)He sends a quick instant message to the ocused brother to ask ar he has gone with the work and the ocused brother asks himcome over to discuss some issues. Tis is a chance to show the bthat they work is actually complex and probably needs more woSo he noisily makes his way to the ocused brothers desk, makia point to raise his voice when yapping about the les. Te Big B

heworkzine


15/30

Work Diary Prose and Poetrypasses by the ocused brothers desk. Te rather loud and attention-seeking

conversation between ocused brother and our brother goes to a whole newevel. Tis time round, its twice as loud. It lasts a painul 3 minutes and thebrother heads back to the desk, more sure than ever that his boss now knowshe is the ocused one.

ime Check 3:15 pmLocation: Brothers LocationAn email has just arrived. Hopeully its a reply rom Cathy conrming theweekend plot. He heads o to his email inbox and nds one email awaitinghis eyes. It seems the other ocused brother is actually twice as ocused as wasexpected because he has not only compiled the report; he has included all thewhole working process in the email. So our brother is excited and immedi-

ately he changes his acebook status Brother is eeling like a million dollars.

ime Check 4:00 pmLocation Brothers WorkstationTis might be the longest hour in all history! But our brother lands on a tono luck because outside brothers window, the big boss seems to be pullingout o the drive way. Seems like big boss is leaving sooner than usual. Tis is agood sign because nally, the weekend can begin. Just as he is signing againsthis name in the Report Book, he receives a phone call rom . Te Big Boss!!!Brother, i you have completed the report, please email it to each o the direc-tors, print and leave a copy or me on my desk., brother happily retorts, Yessir. In act I have just dispatched the emails right now. How many printedcopies do you want Sir? Te Big Boss replies,, Just one will do . So brotherheads back to his desk and quickly re-opens his email to orward the report.He gets through with it in 30 seconds but realizes he has 3 unread emails.He opens them hastily and one o them directs him to his acebook inbox ora message. Te link takes him to a message rom Gary, Lets link up at theNunda in an hour.

ime Check 6:55 PmLocation: Te NundaTe boys have gathered to start the weekend in style. Our brother, beingthe chie weekend enthusiast will explain how his day at work has been very

hectic and how the Boss was on his neck or a report whose deadline was 5pmthat very day. But trust his skills and experience to do the work very well yetn time. All the boys raise their liquor lled glasses and propose a toast o

the all the hardworking young millionaires!!

Bernard Ewalu Olupot, P.R.O, Voice Communication (U) Ltd< TeWriter is a critic o olks who love weekends, public holidays and estivi-ties more than he does. He considers himsel the epitome o all thingsanti-work.>

theworkz

www.workzine.com

In Better Hands by Marie Blue P

I took one leap o aFar rom all the com

And I ell right into your giTen all my pain turned to d

I never knew your aectWould ll up the void in my s

Or the loneliness aching in my hea

I nestle my lie in your palI now know no suering or sorr

All I have is peace and jTat you tickle me every day with laugh

I am your chI call you at

You walked on waAnd calmed the storm in m

I am in better hands no

Here by the FiresHere by the reside we sing son

Songs o love and songs o wondLie is a journey o rights and wron

And sometimes everything is torn asund

But lie is wonder up above or down undSo I heard a girl say, named Susan

And all that you build and all that you plund

Will pass on the winds beore the thund

Tis world is neither yours nor mine to bartA visitor rom distant lands I come to wand

Lie is what you make it and no hardSuch things I have learnt on this road I wand

RC


16/30

heworkzine

www.workzine.com6

The season is upon us and I still dont understand

why we cant take our end of year break from the

10th. Mbu what is the December salary for? So

here I am stuck in ofce doing,

well, nothing. Since Im clearly

unning low on good cheer, allow

me to expend my foul mood (Yes, I

am sulking. Nga some people are

n the second week of their Christ-

mas break? Wait, oba she was

red?) Anyhow, these are some

of the things I will not be looking

forward to this season.

1. The late Christmas break (obvi-

ously).

2. The issue of presents.

First, we dont get any. Since my

mom stopped buying my clothes,

his concept has become an estranged one in our

home, and to revive it, would only mean that mum-

my would have to pick out clothes for me. We will

be grateful for shelter and food, and want nothing

more.

Second, I need to recall which sibling started the ideaof collecting money to buy our parents presents. As

he eldest and the only one working, I get the privi-

ege of topping up on the amount collected. Dont be

fooled, this is more often than not, the lions share. I

uggest that if we dont get presents, neither should

hey. Emancipation, togetherness and all that...

3. The issue of the tree.

The people on TV make Christmas trees look

inviting. All nice and green; with lights, shiny

things and presents all around them. Fortunat

we have all woken up to the fact that our tree

will never look even half as good, regardless

whether it is articial (xmas 1999 2001) or

natural (every other xmas before and after tha

Why mummy still insists is beyond me. So w

will have a tree (if you can call it that) up on

the morning of the 25th, and take it out when t

leaves turn brown (usually around the 12th).

4. The text messages. The sa

text messages. Over, and ovand over again!

5. The kavuyo at church o

Christmas day. PS: It is easy

to spot those of you who ha

not been in attendance for th

past 364 days. This does no

give you the right to push an

shove, considering we have

received a mite of your titheall year. Thank God for sma

graces, Christmas services c

be conducted from the comf

of your living room, in fron

a TV. And then kara res....

6. Clearing up and doing the dishes after the

xmas luncheon. I have been advocating for th

use of disposable tableware for the past ve ye

Mummy insists that Jesus will not be pleased, neither will she. I am petitioning Jesus on this

matter.

7. Those insensitive friends who still go to the

village as if they dont have responsibilities he

What am I supposed to do in that week betwee

Christmas and New Years Eve?

10 things I hateabout Christmas


17/30

Christmas Hangout: Hassans Joint

theworkz

www.workzine.com

8. The six days between Christmas day and New years eve. The boredom is so intense, we have adopted

activities such as sun gazing and wind smelling.

9. The guy at the depot in Kamwokya whose disregard for law abiding citizens and life in general is re-

markable. Warm soda? We might as well stand in the rain with our tongues out, and even then, we will ge

cooler refreshment. We are so going to Nakumatt.

10. The movies on TV lled with white Christmases, colour coordinated house decor, presents, hot choco

late, well stuffed turkey and proper Christmas trees. Even the cartoons are in on this. Oh, the resentment!

11. The network jams on New Years Eve. Some of us are trying to reach out to our loved ones in out-

side countries. It is our last shot to petition for gifts under the guise of ushering them into the New Year.

You know how it is. Acting like they dont have money nga they are holding dollars and pounds. Credit

crunch my foot!

In closing; it is unfortunate that Santa doesnt exist, and even more, you are an adult (When did this hap-pen? I dont know). So no one is going to drop anything in your lap this season, we must all look out for

our own laps and the laps of those less fortunate than ourselves. That being said, there is no such thing as

an early present so dont be shy, and stock up on those random acts of kindness this time round.

Merry Christmas!!

Beqy


18/30

Drunken and Drugged MedicsIn normal circumstance we are scared o drug addicts and alco-holics. But what happens when the medical practitioner treatingyou is both a drug addict and alcoholic. In Uganda there has beea steady growth o alcoholism and drug abuse among medicalpractitioners. Te absurd part is it goes unnoticed.

According to Bigabwa Kenneth,drinking among health workers is a common problem

because it relieves stress . Jude, a clinician working withthe Bushenyi local government, argues that exposure toblood and pus regularly causes alcohol abuse by medicalpractitioners. I you are rom the surgical ward and youdont drink you can lose appetite, he explains.

utamwebwa ,a medic rom Bushenyi ,asserts that cli-ents cause medical practitioners to drink, someone willgive you alcohol in appreciation or the service you havegiven. People buy them into the habit, he argues. Ocheng,a laboratory technician, also points out that most medi-

cal practitioners drink to socialize. Tat is the chancethey get o work. Drinking is mostly rampant duringootball matches, he notes.Te New South Wales Medical Board states doctors arenot immune to problems with drugs or alcohol. Apartrom the general risk actors they share with the rest othe community, doctors may be exposed to particularrisks relating to, the demands, responsibilities and stresso their proessional lie, confict between their proes-sional and personal lives, easy access to prescription drugs

, sel-treatment and reluctance o colleagues to conrontor deal with early warning signs.Te stakes are high in the case o doctors with drug oralcohol problems where the well being, and even the liveso patients under their care may potentially be at risk.Tere are real and tragic examples o patients dying as adirect result o their intoxicated doctors addiction. Evenmore it should be noted that medical practitioners in-dulging in drugs and alcoholic liestyles end up devastat-

ing their own lives.Lilian Kabugho ,a nurse, sums up the misery stati

some medical practitioners are desperate. Bigabwa suports her argument citing the stress actor in medicpractice as a cause o substance abuse. Former Ministo Finance, Dr. Ezra Suruma is quoted to have pointout that the health system in Uganda continues to suer rom poor service delivery and ineciency, includimedicine stock-outs, poor attendance by health workecorruption, and poor services. Tese are refections o tstrain in Ugandan medical practice where it is noted thin 2008 only 2000 Ugandan Doctors were registered u

der the Medical and Dental Practitioners Council whthe majority fed the country or greener pastures.However with the growing knowledge o these problemUganda has to seek a way out, i medical practitioneare to be alleviated rom the stress as well as temptatio alcoholism and drug abuse. It is known that Uganlacks medical practitioners to cover its vast populationabout 30 million people, but having the ew health spcialists in a tipsy state makes it worse.

Tatefacilismodolobor

sequat

heworkzine

www.workzine.com8

Linda Lillian


19/30

President Museveni Update:Europeans and Chinese dont die, his bathtub does not getcleaned up and will Bishops please stop consoling people?

In a rare show o transparency, Museveni has decid-

ed to open up about some o the things that rile him.

Now, we would have all appreciated it more i

he had told us exactly how many more years he

intends to rule or, or why he appointed Janet

Minister, and does she really own Garden City?

How much money does he have on his bank ac-count etc, but I guess anything he decides to

unleash, we will be more than happy to hear.

At the burial o V.Ps son (RIP) Museve-

ni was given an opportunity to speak. In his

own words, Museveni had never really met

Brian the deceased so it is only air that he

talk about well, anyone but the deceased.

In his speech carried by the Red Pepper (Pg. 28

Red Pepper November 11, 2009.) , Musevenistarted by attacking the cause o Brians death

as reckless over speeding drivers. Now as i we

did not already know this, he told us that his

own drivers over speed and will not listen to him

anymore when he tells them to stop over speed-

ing. Nobody listens to the president anymore!

Over speeding taken care o, it was time to tell

o the pretentious o society. Museveni went on

to accuse Bishops o consoling mourners! The

audacity! How dare they come to ofciate at a

uneral and come with words o encouragement

and consolation? Who do they think they are?

Apparently the president does not like it

when these Bishops say o somebody that

has died that God has called him or her. But

I always wonder, why does He only call A-

ricans and not Europeans or Chinese?

According to him, this is how all bish-

ops should proceed with uneral services

Dorenes dead. Not that God called her or any-

thing, she just died. In an accident. Dust to dust

Museveni then summoned Gen. Gutti (the

commandant at Kabamba where Brian was do-

ing Cadre training) to explain why all the other

co-travelers in the same car werent as aect-

ed (i.e. why did they not die). Would it have

made him eel any better had the other occu-

pants o the ateul vehicle perished as well?

Sevo also revealed that State House maids

do not scrub the bathtub thoroughly and

that is why the other day God had almost

called him when he slipped in the tub.

Anyway, just wanted to say I enjoyed read-

ing the story that eatured this interview.

theworkz

Te Antipop


20/30

ClimateChangeWhy you should give a damn!

You know it, I know it and everybody knows it. Te weathers not like itused to be. Ive been around or twenty something years and I can tell that theweathers changed a lot since I was a kid. We used to have two rainy seasons,now I dont know how many we have. Its a lot hotter than it used to be, mil-lions o people are acing hunger and starvation, sea levels are rising and somecountries might disappear rom the map.


21/30

Despite what the politicians would have you believe, global

warming is real. Im not sure what most o you think about

it but rom the inormation available to us, we are in or a

rough ride without any certainty o arrival.

Arica bears the brunt o this new threat to humanity yet

contributes the least to greenhouse gas emissions. Te con-

tinent is expected to become hotter and drier over the next

several decades. with tempratures expected to increase byas many as 4.3 degrees in the next one hundred years. Tis

will have a negative eect on agriculture and ood security in

general. In a country where over 70% (last time I checked) o

the economy is agro based, the acts should have us worried.

Te Copenhagen Summit has ocialy been declared a

ailure, despite whatever fowery rhetoric President Obama

may come up with. Tis problem seems too big or the

politicians to tackle, you will notice that there was no world

leader taking point on the matter, everyone was looking at

their economies and wondering whether theyll survive thenext elections.

Like most o the major victories o humanity as a whole, the

battle must be ought by civil society, by you and me. It took

ordinary people saying no to end slavery, it took a

baptist preacher rom the hood and many more l

him to realise the Civil Rights Act, it has taken t

sacrice o many a man and a woman to get us th

ar and perhaps it is our turn to step up to the pla

Te problem with our world today, I believe, and

Presidente Evo Morales said is Capitalism. Until

x the problems inherent in it, we will be bumblialong like ools in the dark.

I want you to look at it rom natures point o view

i we as a species become a threat to the entire glo

ecosystem, nature will wipe us out more or less,

resign us to the title o endangered species, and it

wont have any qualms about it either.

So what can you do? Go green I guess, a couple o

guys in the Harvard Business Review o Septem

2009 say your next business model should be gre

Ever heard o carbon credits? No? Well go look it

up, it just might be the next global currency, whic

will be a sad way to go i you ask me.Te econom

that pioneers cheap, clean and renewable energy

destined to dominate the world.

Good luck in all your capitalist endeavours.

Sources:

Uganda Metreological SocietyClimate Change Facts and Figures

All you need to know about carbon credits

An Incovinient ruth

Six Sources o Limitless Energy

Te Copenhagen Climate Change Summit

Te Harvard Business Review
http://www.reliefweb.int/rw/rwb.nsf/db900SID/KHII-7YQ7MG?OpenDocumenthttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbon_credithttp://www.climatecrisis.net/http://hbr.org/product/on-the-horizon-six-sources-of-limitless-energy/an/R0909F-PDF-ENGhttp://en.cop15.dk/http://hbr.org/archive-toc/BR0909http://hbr.org/archive-toc/BR0909http://en.cop15.dk/http://hbr.org/product/on-the-horizon-six-sources-of-limitless-energy/an/R0909F-PDF-ENGhttp://www.climatecrisis.net/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbon_credithttp://www.reliefweb.int/rw/rwb.nsf/db900SID/KHII-7YQ7MG?OpenDocument


22/30

Knaan is a rapper and a poet. That is almost always guaranteed to

e a good combination. We know that a rapper who is a poet is, well,

oing to rhyme and his subject matter is going to be something worth

stening to and not tales of his latest car or diamond necklace. Knaan

also Somali and that tells us that his content is also going to be

omething we can directly relate to. But Knaan has lived in Canada

nce he left Mogadishu on the last commercial ight to ever leave So-

malia when he was 13 and this move has allowed his music to become

more popular and eventually has allowed us to listen to it.

roubadour is his second album and to say it is an excellent album is

n understatement. The album opens with T.I.A, which is literally

banging track. It will make you bop your head inadvertently. This

anging track completely juxtaposes the song in which he sings about

he hardships of living in parts of Africa especially in Somalia where

holidays quickly turn to hell days. On I Come Prepared he teams

with Damien Marley to give us a fresh blend of hip hop and reggae.

Bang Bang, which on some days is my favourite track off the album, a blend of pop-rock and rap with Adam Levine, Maroon 5s front

man, where Knaan is bit lighter talking about a girl that is a scor-

ion, shes so hot; shes a scorchion and in which he makes some

stute observations Am I wrong but what is love without the pain to

o along? Kirk Hammett who plays the guitar on If Rap Gets Jeal-

us is the lead guitarist for Metallica. He is ranked the 11th greatest

uitarist of all time according to Rolling Stone and the guitar on this

ack is so wicked, if you are a rock fan, even if you dont like rap this

ong will get you.

Waving Flag is the anthem track on the album and it will come as

o surprise that Knaan was commissioned to do a version of the songs the ofcial World Cup 2010 song. This particular track is a story

f the direst consequences and the hope that triumph is on the way.

When I get older, I will be stronger, theyll call me freedom just like

waving ag are words to inspire every African child. It will lift

our spirits even as it grounds you in reality. Fatima which is many

eoples favourite song off this album is a beautiful, haunting song

elling the story of his childhood sweetheart and how he loses her. The

umpets on this song practically speak to you. 15 minutes away

olds a special place in my heart. Its the song, I play every time I go

to MoneyGram to pick money my family sends m

so accurately captures how I feel when they call a

you can pick it up today, its 15 minutes away

Every single track on this album is spot on. It is p

written, it sounds perfect and like music is suppos

do, it will take you out of yourself, put you in Kn

world and send you back to yours with some insigcan use to better yourself.

Enjoy.

1.

2. ABCs (eat. Chubb

3. Dr

4. I Come Prepared (eat. Damien M

5. Bang Bang (eat. Adam L

6. I Rap Gets Jealous (eat. Kirk Ham

7. Wavin

8. So9. America (eat. Mos De and Chal

10. F

11. Fire in Fre

12. ake A M

13. 15 Minutes

14. People Li

www.workzine.com2

heworkzine

Troubadour

Knaan

Track L

@Darlkom


23/30

theworkz

Beenie Mans concert at Kyadondo Dancehall Grounds,

aid the leading newspapers of the land, was great. The

artiste was on top of his game, according to one paperand his concert was rst rate according to another.

According to Facebook, however, he didnt just suck, he

ew into the sucko-sphere and was hit by a radioactive

uck-steroid which caused an explosion that unleashed

uck-waves that energized him with super-sucking-

powers which he then ew back down to earth with and

unleashed upon us all. Innocent fans had never been

ucked at so badly.

You, the bewildered public, must be wondering what is

cutting. Who is lying, the press or the facebookers? Well,

both and neither.

The show was great. Chameleone is a magnicent show-

man and he proved that. Bobi Wines eyes were half-

hut as if he was deep under the inuence of something

probably piriton, what do I know?) but he still rocked

he crowd as only he can.

Blu3 were hot. Chandirus legs continue to be the sorts

of limbs that could support a whole industry of poets.

She is a truly talented and beautiful woman. Especially

when she is on stage, so far away that you cant see

hat shiny pimple-looking thing under her lip that is so

creepy. Bebe Cool was also in attendance.

Beenie Mans band was excellent. The lighting was top-notch. The sound was up to par, as well.

Those are the parts of the show that were good. Im sure

hat is enough. To expect more is to be greedy. After

all this stuff that rocks to want more is just too much.

You want more? You want, in addition to all of that, for

Beenie to also rock? That is too much.

You must be satised by now. Beenie thought this and so

he didnt bother to rock and proceeded to be fake.

First of all, he didnt sing any of his songs. He tried to,

but what happened instead was that he would yell out

he rst four or ve lines then mumble one bar then turn

ound and wander aimlessly around the stage for a fewminutes before leaping up and starting a whole different

ong. Seriously! We waited and there was not a single

ong he started that went into the second verse.

Sim sima, whos got the keys to the beema? Who am

? Who am I? Who am I? Are you ready?! Bomboclat!

Mumble and wander around the stage.)

A disgruntled fan observed that it was like an Old CD

hat is so scratched it keeps skipping to the next song

halfway.

After failing to sing his own songs for about an hour he gave u

and turned his attention to other peoples songs. And for the ne

hour what he was doing was failing to sing other peoples song

The poor band had to follow along as he stuttered at Chaka

Demus and Pliers, the guy who sang Wikid dis year and othe

ragga hits. Then, Lord have mercy! he began to sing Turn You

Lights Down Low. He was trying to sing the Lauryn part. Oh,

I oh I, he sang. Then, Oh Iaiaaaaaaaaacracklecracklepop!It was at this point that I began to notice people getting up to

leave.

Now, to be perfectly fair, Beenie was very high. He is not as

awesome as Bobi Wine so he probably cannot be expected to re

member the words to his songs under the inuence of whatever

it was he had been taking (Bobis Piriton oba?) so lets cut him

some slack. I am sure he learnt his lesson and next time will no

come here and waste our time being a stupid, useless ********

on stage.

We also learnt something. The show was rocking until Beanie

came on, so you guys dont be thinking that just because some-

one is Jamaican he must be better. Support your local boys and

girls.

I swear. Mbu welcome the King of the Dancehall. More like

King of the latrine in the security quarters in the back of the

dancehall.

www.workzine.com

Binning the Beenie Man

Ernest Bazanye


24/30

Ok, now that Imdone wit ulllingmy christmasly

duties I can geton to somethingserious. But justbeore we do,what is the dealwith Christmasanyway? I mean

part rom the act that you are going to stu yoursel so bad youll thinkoure at ull term, never mind that you probably are a guy and just havehe wrong equipment, Im pretty sure that a chic just might get away witmmaculate conception only come new years day it wont be quite im-

maculate anymore, now will it? Quite a bit does get done in the name oatching reworks and all, and o course, there are no rules against making

our very own personal spectacular display no rules that cant be brokennyway.

o yeah, Christmas is coming up. Some people expect gits, some peoplexpect ood, and o course come new years all your riends expect to have aood time; on you no less.

Aaeii!! Why does this issue have to be about the holidays? You know what,m going to make a change, yes I can. (corny, I know, ehh, deal). So now,ou know all that drivel youve been reading about how to stay alive untilext year (wonder i that will be a three week survival course), how to have

he most un, yet spend the least money (I suppose that does mean goinghrough all o your salary in a couple o days and just sparing enough oour savings to make it through Jan) and o course, gits gits gits younow what, I am putting my oot down, this article is NO going to bebout the holidays.

Now why is it that as soon as I said this article is NO going to be abouthe holidays that I just run into a brick wall? no, not literally, even I amot that ar up into the clouds. Hmm, well, our dear darling editor doesnteed this what dyou call it again? Article? thingy until tomorrow so

maybe I could just cool my heels until some mythic muse hits me on theead with a huge hammer again, not literally

ok, now really, here I am trying to make a gracious exit and the biggestwat this side o the equator, and the other come to think o it, walks innd looms over me like why does this stu happen to me? I mean

Urgh!! Gimme a mo(ment), let me just go kick him out, politely, I amupposed to be polite you know. He keeps saying things like what are youoing? Oh, typing!! can almost see the gears in his head moving, and thatim dim bulb up there just attempting to get a bit brighter, dude shouldave gotten an energy saver installed. Oops, polite Brian, you are trying toe polite remember, easy there, dont break anything you know what; Ille back in a fash. Let me go do what I do best; politely o course.

Whew, hes gone, and did he just go? No, he had to have the last word, Ill see you when I see you! well, duh!!)Oh lookee here, looks like that utter (polite brian, polihmmm that uh, that.. eeh, doesnt really matter anywayhe gets anything rom me this Christmas it will be a t-shthat says Hit me!! In glow-in-the-dark writing. Or may

Jesus loves me; someone has to.So, where was I? Somewhere important Im sure doesnreally matter I suppose.Happy Holidays people. Stay alive. And no, there are NOparties at my place so you are NO welcome, even i youbring your own juice. Abid, that goes or you too

www.workzine.com4

heworkzine

IdlersCorner

Brian B Coutinho


25/30

theworkz

Goodbye 2009, weve had a rough year for sport this

year, havent we? Take soccer, both on the local and

nternational scenes, nothing has happened. Now youmight think different but you are going to need to face

he facts.

Nothing much hap-

pened in soccer here. I

hink Uganda won one

rophy or the other and

he players made some

money, ha. Oba, we

played Rwanda... read

he tabloids for moredetails.

On the international

cene, Arsenal is rubbish

and Manchester is cool. If anyone doubts look at Ar-

havins miss in one of their games (you are the fan, not

me) and if you are reading the sports section of this zine,

you should know what I am talking about. Compare that

miss to Paul Scholes 40 yard screamer against one of the

other teams and it should be easy to come to the same

conclusion as I did. Discussion closed.

Quidditch has to be the fastest growing sport this year.

This years regional tournament was held in Kisoro and

Kayunga came out top with a massive 27,000 points.

Master seeker, Bujagali scored a career high 11,000

points against Mukono and won the tournaments golden

glove. Iganga and Kampala Central tied in second place

with 22,000 point apiece and KPC once again came out

at the bottom with a measly four(4) points. We have to

wonder why a pentecostal organisation would want to

participate in a wizarding sport. Anyway, hope they dobetter next year.

n boulder rolling, Maersk Bugrovich once again

emerged winner. Named Obelix by his competition,

Maersk rolled a one ton boulder fty two (52) kilometers

n two hours beating runner up Abid da Mern by over

forty eight hours. His signature rolling technique was

witnessed by adoring fans who drove all the way in their excite-

ment.

In lacrosse, I guess nothing happened because there was noth-ing in the newspapers about it. Congratulations to whoever won

any of the various tournaments

that run every year in the other

countries in this world.

In a word, nothing much has

really happened on the sporting

scene but wait...I think Ireland

and France almost went to war

over a hand of God scenario

involving Frances Thiefy Henry.The war didnt happenen, thank

God. I have friends in Ireland and

in-laws in France, Id have real

trouble deciding which side to

invest my mounds of money in.

Athletics held its premier event in Kampala, the MTN mara-

thon. A plethora of underweight men and women in little shorts

took to the streets in a bid to prove to their workmates that they

dont underperform just in the ofce but on the highway as well

Some variants and mutants run for the money. Really people,why would you run for money outside the following scenarios.

1. A pickpocket has snatched your wallet and is making himself

scarce, at your expense as it were (unnecessary words but my

ngers are owing over this keyboard). 2. You have won the

Yoola omudidi and need to run to the car for a sack. Some guy

won the money, everyone else got tired and that is it on athletics

If you are disappointed in the contents of this article, that is your

{expletive indicative of common occurence of *bilirubin*}. If

on the web, check out espn, soccernet and so on for irrelevant

sporting knowledge and statistics. Have a great year and remember to stay away from sports for reduced fatigue this coming

year. Merry Christmas and a happy new year - your sports cor-

respondent.

www.workzine.com

@nagimesi


26/30

Count Your BlessingsDecember is here, the time to sit and ponder on what has been done during the year, nd iany, things to be thankul or.yadda yaddaso ollowing my previous list, posted on my blog, Ihereby add another.

Am thankul or the state o my nation, wait, waitdont be trippinhere is why. In a ar awayland, under the rule o a one Bob there was the exciting news that said land was home to one oonly a handul o Mercedes Benz Brabus v12 bi-turbo supercars. Tis car was allegedly delivered tothe Reserve Bank by DHL and let in the company car park, during a pay dispute with local bankworkers, while its new owner, Gono, (equivalent o Mutebile-Governor) was on holiday in the FarEast. In his deence, he said it was a company car, paid or by cash-strapped tax payers, and that itwas in act another type o Mercedes Benz that he got or a bargain price o less than two hundredthousand US dollars (unlike a Brabus which costs US $365,000).

Ten there have been some spectacular economic decisions that have been made this year, designed

to rustrate the business sector, conuse the elderly, and incite mayhem. In act, they even had a miniriot, when the soldiers were unable to draw their pay (there being no bank notes at all) in the runup to Christmas. During the course o the year, they had 10 zeros deleted rom the currency withthe introduction o new bank notes, some worthless coins re-instated, and the continued practice oexpiry dates on notes (that they were told to disregard), and o course, the amous 100 billion dollarnote (now discontinued).

During 2009, writing cheques, paying or items in cash, withdrawing cash rom the bank withouta salary statement and making bank transers have been declared illegal. Te daily, weekly andmonthly cash withdrawal limits rom your own bank account usually start at out at the equiva-lent o a dollar or two but by the end o the month its not worth enough to buy a pencil. Pay-

ing or items in oreign currency is still technically illegal but the only way to actually pay oranything these days as there are not enough bank notes available to withdraw the equivalent oone US dollar (nobody even knows what the rate should be it was several quadrillion Zimba-bwean dollars to one US dollar back in October by now it must be several hexillion (ZWD5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 or thereabouts and the biggest note is 500 billion).

heworkzine

www.workzine.com6



theworkz

Darlyne komukama

knowthat it isstartingto seem

like I havean unhealthyobsession with my hair andmaybe I do but its on my mindright now so I might as wellrun with it.I watched Good Hair recently.It is a Chris Rock documen-tary on the lengths blackwomen in America go to or

their hair. It is a good movieand I would recommend youwatch it. Te reason I bringit up is because one o the seg-ments deals with the chemicalthat we as black women useto relax our hair. It is a verycorrosive chemical and I have

decided not to use it anymore.Unortunately or ortunately, that is going to leave me with my naturalkinky hair which I have never worn long. See, I have been relaxing myhair since I was 9 years old. When I was 13, it was all cut o or school

but as soon as I let school at 16, I relaxed it again. Im tired.

want my own hair back; I dont want to go to the salon everytwo weeks. I hate the salon.Ok, so now Ive made my decision, what am I going to do wi

my natural hair? I dont want dreadlocks; Iwould not be able to change them i I got borwithout cutting my hair o again. I think Imjust going to let it grow into an Aro and Illdeal with it when its grown.My problem is, one o my best riends is get-

ting married in the middle o next year and I am going to be oneo her bridesmaids. My hair has to be o the chain or this do andsomehow I dont think shell look too kindly on my Macy Gray-ishAro.I realize that this has gone rom a ashion article, which it is sup-

posed to be, to a rant. Forgive me; I can not give any ashion advice in thstate Im in. As a matter o act, i anything, Im the one in need o ashiadvice.So tell me, what do you think I should do with the natural hair? Do notsuggest not going au natural coz that ship has sailed.

Again

withthe

hair

I

Still with me? Ok, well now or the icing on the cake. A recent story in the Herald, the only government-accred-ited national newspaper, reported that Gono has published his memoirs, detailing how US President GeorgeW Bush head-hunted Gono to become Vice President o the World Bank. Gono says that at the time he wason a targeted sanctions list, and that the World Bank oered to remove him rom the list and see what it could

do with his riends already on the sanctions list. But hey, look on the bright sideWith such ludicrous abrica-tions, Gonos book is bound to be a best seller.

As a Zimbabwean by extension, I sympathize.truly.Now can I hear an Amen! (cmon.ever heard o the story o the boy who cried or shoes and then saw an-other who didnt have eet?)

Fez


28/30

The Pretty Airhead

heworkzine

www.workzine.com8

I have to rant about her. I have held my peace but I cant hold it any longer. Forget about all thosecharacters other people have been talking about , this one deserves to be shot. I remember the rsttime I saw her: she was stunning, pretty , lovely wonderul exciting and she got me excited.

She had this impressive sense o style. Everything she wore looked natural on her. She didnt walk,she sort o convinced the air to lit her gently to where she wanted to go. She smiled at me and wel-

comed me to the oce. I was in seventh heaven.

Five years down the road and I wonder why she is still here. Granted she is pretty but i I had thepower, she would go. Te thing is that she is just a pretty head. I wont say blonde because I havemet some pretty amazing blonde girls who have both beauty and brains. But the Oce Prettyairhead lacks the latter. She has nothing in that brain. I bet that i she was to have her head openedup, even getting a grain o sand out o it would be a miracle. It would probably be lled with inanesongs like touch my body, Barbie girl ,. You get the idea.

Miss Pretty Airhead can not operate a machine. She can not write a report. She types at the amaz-

ing speed o one word per minute, her phone manners are only excused by the act that she has awonderul voice. Switching on a computer probably took her years to master and she is probably theone who calls I guys to tell them that her coee holder is hidden. Te ew attempts to get her towrite minutes were a disaster. I will concede that she is not totally useless, she is a good prop whenyou want to get the guys rom the rival companies jealous at lunch. She can also be used to get rid oyour ex. She is good to look at . She is good at getting creditors to sit in the lobby or hours on endwithout complaint and then agree to come back tomorrow.

Over a cup o coee , she can give you all the juicy details on who is doing who in the oce, whoought with who, who did shoddy work, who is being primed or a promotion, who is about to bered, who has ormed an alliance with whom , who is having personal problems at home and all

that extra-curricular crap that one may need when about to launch a war in the board room orknowing which oce girl is vulnerable or the pick. She is also surprisingly not easy. But when allis said and done, she is not worth having on the payroll. I wonder how she got through university . All she is good or is to look at and nothing more.

Madsen Hall



theworkz

~~Gnuts~~

was perusing through a book my dad has been read-ing called Te Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas

aleb, which basically explores the potential impact othe highly improbable. I didnt have to read much toget the drit o what he is saying which is essentially

that long-term planning is utile, since the truly treacherousevents are those over which we have no control whatsoever, andwhose very occurrence is inconceivable. I should warn you atthis point that I only read the introduction, so I may well havemissed the point entirely. I wonder what he wrote about in thenext 305 pages because it seemed to me that he wrapped it allup in that introduction we are powerless against the unpre-dictable. When I have read the rest o the book, I will be sure

to tell you about it.

Tere are people on this earth who plan. And there are peoplethat simply dont. I am a planner. But I am also very likely todisregard my plans in a second i something else seems moreinteresting. I call it fexibility, Im sure true planners call itwhimsy, or fightiness. One o my riends told me a while agothat impulsiveness is or the weak. I was a little bit hurt by thisbecause I had been telling grand tales o an amazing ew weeksI had had in which I had disregarded all the things that I wasmeant to have done. She told me later that she had said what

she did out o some spite, because she elt that she too oten re-strains hersel by telling hersel that there is a way that thingsare supposed to be done.Te truth is that your environment infuences you immensely the people you are around, the work that you do etc, and Ihave ound that working as an accountant has made me losepart o that ability to bend with the wind. I now believe a lotmore in structure, and it is a good and bad thing. I have learnt

that, especially or large and long term tasks,structure is the backbone o sustainability. At

some point, it is highly likely that the passion willdie, and the structure is the allback position thatwill save the day. But I have also learnt that i yougive in to structure too much, you lose a basicsense o individuality, and o reedom.

I have taken the lesson in structure to heart. Ihave become a proessional and I seek to alwayshave good working processes in my lie andwork. It gives a certain peace o mind. At thesame time, I am trying my utmost to restore the

reedom and passion in my way o thinking, sothat I can merge the two schools o thought,because I believe that each is vital. I could tellyou that each is as important as the other, butthat wouldnt ring true rom where I sit. I can saywith certainty that structure with no passion ismonotonous, unullling and just plain boring,which is why I have ound mysel in the rut that Iam in. Passion on the other hand one can trulylive and breathe on it, or as long as it lasts. A liewithout passion is just not worth it.

Have a passionate, unplanned estive season. Youwont regret it.

On Passion and Planning

I


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The PIFF would like to thank all of you whohave offered support for our cause. A merrychristmas from all of us to all of you and your

kin, may you have a prosperous new year!

workzine issue 9 hires

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