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Within MyselfI'm not afraid to release my soul

I'm not ashamed to let my tears run….

I have gained peace within myself

I had witnessed the journey of climbs and falls….

Yet it's not only mine to brag- I realized others pain….

There was a time I was out of faith…

Now in my rebirth I'm enhanced with enormous faith…

I believe on each curve-the granted destiny-

bliss or heartache…

Within my inner peace, I'm experiencing it all…

Living the days as it would proceed…

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Poet Insight

I have always preferred to put my words into poetry, it seems to me a simplerway of using the spaciousness of a page, yet I used to feel that I couldn't letmy emotions take control of my writing This changed from the instant I meta very courageous lady, I felt I wanted to write. I wanted to be a writer whocould visualize her and others who have gone through the steep ups anddowns of life. No words can convey those moments she underwent and I canonly attempt to describe their various colors. The way she turned her turmoilonto a new and positive path. I only met her once, but she touched my lifeso deeply beyond anything anyone could imagine. Her voice still echoes inmy ears. She inspired me.....

She is a breast cancer survivor. I admit I struggle to find the words here. BreastCancer has affected many women and it keeps on taking new lives. In thisbook, we will take you on a journey, share with you their experiences, thesharp turns in their lives, their fight and their triumphs.

I can't help but repeat this. She touched my life, the way she fought herillness. I'm so proud of her and I'm glad to have the opportunity to share mypoems through this book.

Nasra Al-Adawi

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A scary word with a very big meaningCancer, its a scary word with a very big meaning. I used to be scared of it too,till I fell victim to the disease about 5 years ago, I had breast cancer and Ididn't even know about it. I thought I was checking myself regularly asrequired, but I was doing it wrongly. One day I woke up with a severe painreaching from my shoulder to the fingers of my left arm. At first I thought Ihad slept on it in the wrong position. The pain continued as I went to workand kept myself busy...... I had a very responsible job so I didn't have the timeto think about the pain, and it was almost the end of Ramadan. I satmassaging my arm with my maids help, but the pain just wouldn't go away.A week later, I decided to go to the hospital, thinking it was perhaps arthritis,but when they took an x-ray, it showed a small lump at the top of the leftbreast and the beginning of the armpit. That is why I couldn't feel it, it wastoo high from the position where I used to check myself. The doctor said ithad to be removed, but promised they would use a laser, so the incisionwould only be only a small. I prepared myself for the surgery, but not evenonce had it occurred to me that it could be cancer !!!!!!!!!!!

I was supposed to have been in the operating theatre for half an hour, butonce the lump was touched they could not pull it out because it had longroots which reached the nipple, so they had to cut more to remove the lumpand I ended with 7 stitches. I woke up not feeling too bad and after 2 days Icould go home with absolutely no pain. The doctor explained that becauseof the lump's position, it was pressing on a main nerve, hence the severe armpain. I was supposed to go back after a week to have the stitches removedand I had no doubt in my mind that my problem was over, only to beshocked when I saw the doctor again that I had cancer of the breast and Ineeded major surgery !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to have the stitches removed afterthe Eid holidays, but I didn't go back home, as I had to have more surgerythe next day. The doctor told me if I wanted to do the surgery abroad then Ihad to leave as soon as possible, but I didn't hesitate to say no, despite theshock, I thought I should do the operation here with all my family around meand at no cost too. We have good hospitals and good surgeons, I don't haveto prove anything, I am a prime example of the results al Hamdu lil-laah. Ilived in shock through out the procedure thinking that after the operation Iwould be ok. The doctors explained to me that cancer so far has no cure but,caught early it can be controlled so as not to spread further in the body.Luckily mine was detected early and I am glad I had that arm pain which tookme to the hospital. I thank the Ministry of Health for the care I had and

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obviously I thank god for the faith I have which made me strong as I acceptedthe situation calmly

After the wound healed the treatment started with chemotherapy followed byradiotherapy and it continued for 11 months. The horrors of this treatment Icannot even begin to describe, the side effects were terrible, from depressionto hair loss to constant fatigue to partial loss of sight and hearing. Althoughthe doctors assured me that all would be well after I finished the treatment Ifound it difficult to believe that as I changed physically from head to toe. Itwas family support and my deep faith that kept me going, I thank god forthat.

I am still under medication, but I take it lightly like any diabetic or bloodpressure patient, hospital visits are monthly for medicines only and I see mydoctor every 6 months for checkups.

It's so important to spread cancer awareness, that's why I got together withmy colleagues to start the Cancer Awareness Group. We hope it will becomea full association in the near future with the help and support of theauthorities, as well as, the kind people who have been helping us since thebeginning.

Now we have an office where we can be contacted and the ambitious groupsprogram has already started. Full details can be obtained on request.Amongst our objectives:

1. To spread cancer awareness a"- over the Sultanate.

2. To communicate with other international groups and learn of newdevelopments in research and any possible new cures.

3. To raise funds to support research, and organize lectures by professionalpeople to provide opportunities for learning more about the disease.

4. To provide advice on regular checkups, personal checking for Ladies ona monthly basis and professional to see doctors for advice.

The Motto is Early detection prevents complication and one has a betterchance of survival. Treatment is available at a". our hospitals,, governmentand private. We should not hide from this disease and we should consult ourfamilies and doctors.

(Name with held)

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I Pulled through the most terrifying ordealI am a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with 3 different cancers, one after theother. I remember vividly when my first cancer was diagnosed. I just heardthe doctor say, " I am sorry but your needle biopsy is positive and you havethyroid cancer". My mind went blank. I could hear the doctor talking, but hewas far away in the background, I was mentally far away. I was convincingmyself that, No, there must be a mistake. They must have mixed my resultswith someone else's. Why is this happening to me now? I am a healthy 48-year-old mother, of five healthy children, two of whom are twins, and I do notfeel any pain.

The denial period took a few days, during which time I developed andgathered strength to face and accept the realities, and to conclude that however bad it is, there is hope, and therefore I most fight this disease. Thesupport of my husband and children played a great role in my attitude..

While I was to start treatment for my first cancer, they discovered anotherunrelated cancer. I was Iucky as it was at an early stage and they offered totreat both at the same time. With my family around, I survived the ordeal ofan eight hour surgery and three months of treatment and recovery.

To remain sane, I decided to go back to my normal life and continued mywork at the College of Medicine, at Sultan Qaboos University.

Six months later, while on top of the world, I noticed a Iump in my breast.Being aware of the importance of self-examination regularly and periodically,I reported it to my doctor. Unfortunately it was diagnosed as cancerous. Atthis stage my defenses were down, even though I thought I was prepared. Ifound myself scared and I felt as if I had lost control of my life. Suddenly thefuture became uncertain.

The ten minutes with my doctor were the most agonizing of my life. I couldfeel my husband's hand but I could not appreciate what the doctor was tellingme. I could not breath. I felt fear and shock, confused and frightened. All Icould think about were my kids. Anger overtook my fright. Why me? Whatdid I do wrong to deserve this? Has the cancer spread? If I die who will takecare of my family? I was initially angry with everyone around me. I keptthinking, I could not go through another surgery and exhausting treatments.

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When the initial shock wears off one finds that they have choices to make,either one can curl up in ones shell, feel sorry for oneself until they die, orone can go on living. I chose the latter and was determined to make the mostof every minute of my life and to be grateful for my life and those around me.

My supportive husband was there with me and gave me strength, whichtransformed my anger into positive thinking. Again with the help of my familyand friends and belief in God, I decided to maintain a positive and realisticattitude. I developed inner strength, which pulled me through the mostterrifying ordeal. I am glad to stand here today, thankful to my God Almightyand those around me, for having enjoyed two years of being cancer free.

To be alive is a great thing, to appreciate the importance of being alive andhealthy, makes one overcome all the difficulties that come with a disease suchas cancer. In our society quite a number of patients cannot comprehend whatthe doctors are saying to them regarding their illness. In some situations thiscan result in grave consequences.

For me, cancer has changed my life. I cherish every day and try to focus onthe positive aspects of things. I feel much stronger after my experience. Ipromised myself and having pledged to the Almighty that if I survive myordeal, I will try to help others who find themselves in the same situation.

(Name with held)

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TranquilityWhen you urge your thoughts to come together,

To flourish…hence translating them through wordsAt times you find none..

No thoughts that capture the feelings..The fear or being in despair..

Yet, you wonder to yourself "maybe its a gift of the Almighty"The blankness-your brain is so empty..

You are wearing no thoughts at all..So much close to break into tears..

Somehow the emptiness of the mind presents tranquilityYou never knew it was there..

It’s a relief from within..Unresistingly your smile glimmers..The grace of God is always here..

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Once was-a Melting IceI’m not going to drawn into grievance

It is enough-being a melting IceSo it is time to break the silence

Breaking the IceI was once bitter and furious

Lived in denial-felt victimized with illnessLucky to be surrounded with the family nearness Gained strength from their love and tenderness

I knew I needed to fight-to overcome the turbulence The agony was unnoticed

Becoming a voiceThere were others- faded-mischance Yet its hard admitting with boldness

Enlightening with awarenessAvoid others from this journey of steepness

To be able to teach that every hour-every minute has so much worthiness

Rising from a fall is not easy, but gradually learn to have endurance

Being a survivor-embracing life with gladness

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I writeDo they ever know why I hold this pen?Or rather, the reason behind my hand

scripting poetry and thoughtsWriting begins through my eyes, sketching

The core is my heart and soulTantalizing the rest of my senses

I write to be..Minutes, seconds, every flash of image

I write ‘cause that is meI’m born to write, Tunes words and recite

I write to loveWords induce romance

As I write to liveI’m alive as I write

I hear my body talking to meEach part it speaks its self

I write to healI cried so many times

I trembled and fell in so many nights

I write to riseI accepted the fall, time to go beyond

Writing becomes a therapy of life

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Another chanceAfter numerous tests the doctor broke the news

Labeled a patient with breast cancerI felt alone-all I can do is release my tears

The little lump started to growAn alien rooted in me-my chances of survival is low

They will take my breast-they need to go that farLeft in emptiness-once was…now just a scarFeeling all numb, its hard to undo the pain

I am a woman with a stainYet-I could not imagine if I had not taken these steps

I would have missed chances- fading in regretsI might have lost a precious part of me

It was another chance for the life that was given to me

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The TideThe tide is low..

The sea is far away from its shore..Still I could feel the aroma of the sea..

My tears inflow..Expressing the emotion in store..

The taste of tears reminds me the saltiness of sea.. Resting on the soft sand of the beach..

Beneath me I could feel the warmth of the sand grainsTaking out weight of life as the wind whispers in soft blow..

I forget..Seem my existence flying beyond distance -

I'm captured by the view..My sadness on halt, I'm finding a new rope..Once in self pity -the only part of me shows..

Kept the loved one away from my door..Gave no allowance to share my pain & grief..

Undeterred-they insisted to stand by me..Pouring love strengthening me with self defense ..

Resisting grief-I'm urging to glow..I'm in truce with myself..

Taken upon me to release all the gloom..Now I'm hope and spacious as the sea..

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RevivingReviving the soul

Refreshing a restless mindEngraving a smile into the sorrow of the heart

Enchanting the eyes from its grievingMusic to the ears

Each words inspiresSet to please the soul

Comforting the heart from its painYet delighting the element of being

More over, capturing each flavor of lifeLet the soul forever embrace these words

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So you areYou are the famous Cancer…You came in without invitation

Invaded my life without my permissionAll this time your were invisible from my sight

Now you declared your existence-giving me a frightExpecting me to fall……

Without even fighting or having any roleChanged the process of my life in a storm

I cannot let you take over my body-my homeI just can not live in fear……

Inflating me with pain and should not steerSo much pain to endure…..

I won't stumble -set my journey for cureIt takes a lot-I will force you to surrender

I will prevail beyond any strike- never falterI'm a survivor

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When When all you could love

Something you could not haveThank the lord, deep inside it’s alive

Love glows in you, without a return it can surviveDon’t cry, there is nothing you have lost

Instead, you are the only one who gained the mostThat’s the nurture of being in love

Never regret upon feeling such emotionThus the love you feel, had been sent from above

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The trail of HealingLeft prints on the sand grains

Wind has erased once used to be a trailIllness strays our life imprints

"Lord"-we are on weakness stand-enlighten us with hintsInspire our soul towards the trail of healing

There comes a findingWe urge to be awaken from the frightening trance

Truth is- the spinning fate changes our journey in a glanceIts beyond the terrain chase searching for trace

The will glints from withinFaith, support-the need to believe-in

The fight shall never end

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Till i see you againAs the distance takes it’s place in-between

So till I see you againGood wishes are sent to you

A bright future forever to glowBeside the love one’s happiness will flow

Just remember my thoughts, will always be with youAs when you are sad and low,

Take this inspiration for a new hope to growAlways remember me till I see you again

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Flavor of LifeEach Day you live

Taste the flavor of lifeAs when it’s bitter and sour

Hold on to the sweetness of the love oneWill surly erase all the bitterness that clings onAs when it’s sweet, let it recite in your mind

There times we seem to forget,Those beautiful moments in life

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You areYou are poetry to my soul,

Each word lingers so deeplyYou are the essence of my being,

The veins flow me to lifeYou are the tears reflecting my sadness,

To those moments which you are so far apartYou are the smile caressing my heart,So apparent as it glows on my face

You are the rain arousing my seeds into a plant,The earth is flourishing through this amazing touch

You are my dream that I’m attached to,Gives me hope in all the tough days that pass by

You are an inspiration to my brain,Activating each cell of mine, energizing my whole

You are the soul to my bodyAs when I die, I’m still living

United with youWe become a secret whispering to none

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Bless me GodBless me God with love above any words

A meaningful love, relieving the agony insideIn kindness retouches those who are deprivedGenerate hope to those who give up on lifeHere is the place for a lost heart to console

Bless me God with love beyond physical touchIn attribute to fall in love with

Knowing the beauty of the soulIntellect to appreciate and adore

Love places your hear with comfort

Bless me God with the one who truly love me for meBless me God with the one I will truly love and appreciate

Bless me God with such real love

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The RiverIn to the river

I blend with the rhythmI become the river

Lazing my waves to shelter my soulYet, with my emotions I sometimes overflowEach day is a beginning for my path to draw

With sunshine I tune to the call of natureInhaling the rays, embracing its warmth

My soul is clear, I’m made of crystal waterYet, I’m calm on the shout of thunder

Into the stillness, ready to embrace the rainRejoicing in God’s giving, never hear a complain

Is it hard to understand me, the logic of being a river?

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RainbowKindly be my rainbow

Touch me softly with loveSimilar to your soft touch with the sky

When you emerge, it gives hope to earthYet, you are more than hope to my lifeAppearing gently blending with the sky

More than ever, you blend gently to my soulYou are amazing as you paint the earthly space

Even more amazing taking me in your grace

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I canWhen you take my hand,

When you are there standing by meI can do it all

When my tears fallAs this soul of mine-can not stop the scream

Life seems ever lasting nightmareI find you there, turning everything into a dream

I'm sure-I can do it all

You taught me to fall is a step to rollFalling, is not the end of the world

Now I continue the challengesWith all your teaching - I can do it all

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Gently love a wounded heartGently love a wounded heart

So gently like holding clouds on you palmSweeping this heart of mine with your charm

I’m overdone with tears; I'm breaking free with your loveSoftly, kindle my soul with all you have

So softly as the grace of breezeOn your love I need to breathe

Tenderly, step into my worldSo tenderly like blending clouds with sky

Gently love all of me, I’m yours from now till the end

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The MoonI wish I could be the moon

Arising through the darknessInto the night forming a light

So alone, brightly glowing to earthYet unnoticed, no reflection of rays forcing its existenceInto its own distance floating on earthily space so calm

On approach of dawn, bit-by-bit retreats never ever imposingUpon the daybreak has no place to reside

Become forgotten, no trace reminding for its presenceAmazing the cycle of the moon

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The truth about Love.The truth about love...

Above the meaning that we can explain......It's not all laughter and joy...

There times it causes tears and pain...Yet we need it as our need of air..

Without it- this life we could not ever bear....If discarded - we are good as dead....

It's in the love of a mother to her child.....A son to his dad.... friends...

And the love of man to his woman

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Take me HomeAs the earth unfolds on me

The mountains sets high limitation to proceedI’m determine to reach, overcome all the fences

No earth no sky to ever detain me Here I am have merged with the wind to take me home

No humanly barrier to restrain my pathI’m free as I joined the wind to take me Home

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Will you Love meOn an instant of our eyes hold

To the quietness of our breath and eyes talkIn each distant thought that calls

Will you love me…..

Kiss away the tear that fallsHold me close and that’s all

The pain that clinched it erasesLost hope, somehow it arise

Will you love me…..

Your soothing voice holds me in peaceIt lets me smile through all day long

I’m all inspired through the thought of youI just dream away and it’s all about you

Will you love me…..

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Can we put words in brief?Such life is not a standing trial

Can we allow ourselves to smile?Yet we only remember the stiffness and grief

Thinking of our living-stopped for whileThe pain that tuned in style

Had forgot within our souls- faith and beliefsNot just on hard times-it takes us across any miles

We only have to be bold and allow ourselves to smile

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Under the Fate of GodThis life was given to me,

I had taken an oath to share it with youA gift of God has been taken essentially

Non other than God, we have put our trust in himWhether its sadness or joy, silence or rage

All the colours of life is mine and yoursMe & you are willing to go through it all

Together, will undergo the changes of our destinyShould there be more of the unexpected,

we here ready to receive it tooHere we are destined forever

under the fate of God

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In faith-My True HealerHence is the voice that vibrates my heart

Brought life to a lonely soulPerspiring with pain

The line of death is foreseenAgony to overcome

Then comes the song-retaking my lifeUpholding the core of me

Touch of tears patching up my inner woundIs this my rebirth or the finding of my life

Out of uncertainty, I flame in hopeInto the essence of my doubt

I live into the season of life love, pain, happiness, sadness, depart of my loved ones

Acceptance of it allAs I Have come to find my true healer

Having inner faith…

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Crucial MomentAt this crucial moment of our life

I urge you not to shut me away, tossing me on other sideYour pain, is yours and mine

Your tears lives within me through days and nightsYou might not see me stumbling in a cryOn the will of fate we could hardly defyThere are other ways to fight it through

To where it takes us-I will be standing here next to youEach phase of agony is a stepping stone

I would not let you face it all alone

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