Winning with People

The Readiness Question: To ready ourselves to go into a relationship The Lens Principle: Who we are determines how we see others. The Mirror Principle: The first person we must examine is ourselves. The Pain Principle: Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by them. The Hammer Principle: Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someone's head. The Elevator Principle: We can lift people up or take people down in our relationships.

The Connection Question: To put the emphasis on others before ourselves. The Big Picture Principle: The entire population of the world - with one minor exception is - composed of others. The Exchange Principle: Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place – empathy. The Learning Principle: Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something. The Charisma Principle: People are interested in the person who is interested in them.

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.2. Smile.3. Remember their name.4. Be a good listener.5. Talk in terms of other person's interests.6. Make the other person feel important genuinely.

The Number 10 Principle: Believing the best in people usually brings out the best in people. So always believe that people are always 10 out of 10. If you think that way, they will deliver to that level.

The Confrontation Principle: Caring for people should precede confronting people.1. Confront only if you care about that person.2. Meet together as soon as possible.3. First seek understanding. Not necessarily agreement.4. Outline the issue.

Describe your perceptions. Tell them how they make you feel. Explain why this is important to you.

5. Encourage a response.6. Agree to an action plan.

The Trust Question: To increase the level of trust in the relationship. The Bedrock Principle: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. The Situation Principle: Never let the situation mean more than the relationship. The Bob Principle: When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem.

1. Respond with a positive comment.2. Show your concern for someone being criticized.3. Encourage steps toward resolution.4. Ask Bob to think before speaking. Is it true? Is it helpful, is it inspiring, is it necessary and is it kind?5. Keep Bob away from others.

The Approachability Principle: Being at ease with ourselves helps others to be at ease with us.1. Personal warmth - They truly like people.2. Appreciation of differences in people.3. Consistency of mood.4. Sensitivity towards people's feelings.5. Being Human - understanding of their weaknesses and showing our own.6. Forgive and ask for forgiveness.7. Be Authentic.

The Foxhole Principle: When preparing for a battle, dig a hole big enough for a friend.

The Investment Question: The requirements for sustaining a long term relationship. The Gardening Principle: All relationships need cultivation. The 101 Percent Principle: Find the 1 percent where both of us agree on and give it 100 percent of our effort. The Patience Principle: The journey with others is slower than the journey alone. The Celebration Principle: The true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how

thrilled we are when they succeed.1. The joy of accomplishment is diminished when no one celebrates with you.2. Many people identify with failure, few with success.3. People who celebrate with you become lifelong friends.

4. Celebrate with the most closest to you. The High Road Principle: We go to a higher level when we treat others better than they treat us.

1. Stay on Kindness Street as long as possible.2. Turn right on Forgiveness Avenue.3. Avoid get even alley as it is a dead end.4. Climb to the top of the hill as you will see the high road.5. Take it and stay on it.

The Synergy Question: To make the best of the relationship. The Boomerang Principle: When we help others, we help ourselves. The Friendship Principle: All things being equal, people will work with people they like; all things not being equal

they still will. The Partnership Principle: Working together increases the odds of winning together. The Satisfaction Principle: In great relationships the joy of being together is enough.