wind in the willowsd abridged - winnipesaukee playhouse...wind in the willows - 11. badger rat!...

Wind In The Willows

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Leads:RAT - MOLE - TOAD - BADGER - OTTER - RABBIT -

Supporting: Each character has at least two lines and most have more.SAMMY HEDGEHOG - BILLY HEDGEHOG - TRAIN ENGINEER - JUDGE -CLERK - JAILER - FOX - BARGE-WOMAN - BARGE HORSE - CHIEF WEASEL - MOTHER WEASEL -LITTLE WEASEL

Ensemble: These parts are identified in the script as below and can have as many actors as there are lines or be divided up amongst what actors there are.FERRET - As many as there. Adjust lines accordingly.WEASEL - As many as there are. Adjust lines accordingly.

THE TIME1901

THE PLACE

Countryside.

SET AND SET PIECES

SR - Toad Hall; a door, windows for Stoats and Weasels to look out.CS - Trees to represent the Wild Wood. Can by projection or cut from thin ply.

Toad’s Wagon - Cut from thin ply.Car Toad steals - Cut from thin ply.Train - - Cut from thin ply.Barge - rolling platform light enough to be pulled on by actor playing horse.Sticks, Swords and guns - For the Battle of Toad Hall.

Wind In The Willows - 2

ACT ONESCENE ONE - Rat and Mole Go Visiting

SETTING: Early May. Along the river bank and Toad Hall.

AT RISE: Mole is holding a broom

MOLEOh Bother! I hate Spring cleaning!

RATMole! Haven’t seen you since early winter. What are you doing?

MOLEHullo, Rat! Spring cleaning!

RATSpring cleaning! On a day like this.

MOLEI’d rather do anything than spring clean. Look!

RATWhat?

MOLEA streak of bubbles travelling along the surface of the river.

RATBubbles? Here comes Otter!

(Otter enters.)OTTER

Whose this fellow? I’ve not seen him on the river before?RAT

Otter, my new friend Mr. Mole.OTTER

Proud, I'm sure.(Rustling noise, Badger’s head appears.)

RATCome on, old Badger! Join us!

(Badger enters fully.)BADGER

Company! I hate company!


(Badger exits quickly)RAT

That's just the sort of fellow he is! (Rabbit enters.)

RABBITBadger simply hates company! I just don’t know why. I love it.

RATRabbit! That’s what comes of being in a large family.

RABBITHullo Rat! Otter! Mole! Fancy seeing you here along the river.

RATWell, tell us Otter, who’s on the river?

OTTERToad in his boat; new clothes, new everything!

RATOnce, it was nothing but sailing.

RABBITThen he took to rowing.

RATWhatever he takes up; he gets tired of it, and starts on something new.

OTTERMay fly! Must go!

(Otter streaks off-stage.)RABBIT

May Fly! Poor Otter, every month switching to a new kind of fly. Only a few more days until June Flies.

RATJoin us Rabbit.

RABBITI’d rather shake hands with Fox.

(Fox enters.)FOX

Rabbit! That can be arranged!RABBIT

Fox! Gotta go!(Rabbit races off.)


FOXI love making him run off in that crazy way!

RATYou shouldn’t pick on Rabbit?

FOXWho should I pick on? You?

RATNo thank you.

FOXAs I thought. Well, my work here is done. Until next time.

(Fox runs off.)MOLE

Fox is a rude animal. Ratty, let’s visit Mr. Toad.RAT

Why not. Toad’s always in a good mood, always glad to see you, always sorry when you go! There's Toad Hall.

(Toad enters from Toad Hall.)TOAD

Splendid! I was just going to send for you, Ratty. You've got to help me!RAT

About your rowing, I suppose.TOAD

Rowing? No! Boating is a silly boyish game.RAT

It is not! And you still splash a good bit when you row.TOAD

I do not splash!RAT

Do too!TOAD

No more boating! I've discovered the real thing.MOLE

What is the real thing?TOAD

Come with me, fellows! I plan to devote the rest of my life to it. (A cart painted yellow and green with wheels is pushed on.)


RATA cart!

MOLEA cart?

(Fox enters.)FOX

Everybody ought to have a cart, just not such an ugly one.TOAD

It’s not ugly! How dare you say my beautiful cart is ugly!FOX

Once again my work here is done.(Fox exits.)

TOADRude Fox! Just think Ratty, the open road!

RATYou gave up boating for a cart! A nasty old yellow and green cart!

TOADThe cart is not nasty! We shall start at once.

RATDid you say we, and start, and at once?

MOLEYou forgot shall.

TOADNow, Ratty, don't begin talking in that stiff way.

RATI’m not stiff!

TOADYou surely don't mean to stick to your dull old river all your life?

RATYes! I do! Why shouldn’t I?

TOADI want to show you the world!

RATI'm not coming, and that's it.

TOADRatty! You can’t be serious!


RATMole's going to stick with me, aren't you, Mole?

MOLEI'll always stick with you, Rat. But, it sounds as if it might be fun!

TOADWe don’t have to decide in a hurry. Of course, I don't really care.

RATOh don’t you? Whenever you say, I don’t care, I know you do!

MOLEI'll do whatever you like, Ratty.

RATWe’ll stay with Toad till this trip is ended.

(Sound of an old time car engine and backfiring. The car cutout is car-ried quickly across the stage. Rat, Toad and Mole jump as if avoiding a speeding car. They stumble about fall down. The cart crashes over.)

RATYou scoundrels, you...roadhogs!

(Toad stares after the car. More backfiring.)TOAD

Glorious, stirring sight!RAT

What is?TOAD

The poetry of motion!MOLE

The what of who?TOAD

The only way to travel!MOLE

Stop being a fool, Toad!TOAD

And to think I never knew!MOLE

Rat! What are we to do with him?RAT

Look here, Toad! You go straight to the police station about that car.


TOADPolice-station! Never! Ratty! Thank you for coming with me on this trip!

RATMe! I’ve done nothing! You can’t blame me.

TOADWithout you, I might never have seen that beautiful car! I’m off to buy one.

(Toad races off. Blackout.)

****

SCENE TWO - A Month Later - Toad’s Cars.

AT RISE: Badger, Rat and Mole talk.

BADGERHow's old Toad getting on?

RATToad bought himself another large car! And things have gone from bad to worse.

BADGERAs they often do with Toad

RATAnother smash-up only last week.

MOLEHe's convinced he's a good driver, and nobody can teach him anything.

BADGERHow many cars has he had?

RATThis is the seventh.

MOLEHe's been in hospital three times. He’ll be killed or ruined, sooner or later.

RATBadger! We're his friends, oughtn't we to do something?

BADGERWell, we'll take Toad seriously in hand. We'll bring him back to reason, by force if need be. We'll make him be a sensible Toad.

(Two hedgehogs enter.)


RATSammy and Billy Hedgehog! Lost your way?

SAMMY HEDGEHOGMe and little Billy here…

BILLY HEDGEHOGHello. I’m Billy! And I’m not little! He’s Sammy!

SAMMY HEDGEHOGThey know! We were trying to find our way to school…

BILLY HEDGEHOGNot me! Sammy was! I don’t like school.

SAMMY HEDGEHOG...mother would have us go, and we lost ourselves…

BILLY HEDGEHOGI wasn’t lost! Sammy was lost!

SAMMY HEDGEHOG...and Billy was frightened.

BILLY HEDGEHOGI wasn’t frightened! Sammy was!

SAMMY HEDGEHOGI was not! You were!

BILLY HEDGEHOGWas not!

SAMMY HEDGEHOGWas so! At last we saw you folks and Mr. Badger…

BILLY HEDGEHOGWe’re usually afraid of Mr. Badger!

BADGERWell you should be!

BILLY HEDGEHOGI’m not, but Sammy is!

SAMMY HEDGEHOGAm not!

BILLY HEDGEHOGAre too!

BADGEREnough!


SAMMY HEDGEHOGWe made so bold as to come over...

BADGERYou should’ve gone elsewhere!

SAMMY HEDGEHOG...for Mr. Badger is a kind-hearted gentleman…

BILLY HEDGEHOGIs not! He’s mean and grumpy most times.

BADGERWhat did you say!

SAMMY HEDGEHOG...as everyone knows

(Otter and Rabbit enter. Otter embraces Rat.)RAT

Leave off me!OTTER

Thought I should find you here all right.RAT

Why were you looking?OTTER

They were all in a great state of alarm along River Bank this morning.RABBIT

Rat never been home all night...nor Mole either...something dreadful must have happened.

OTTERBut I knew that when people are in trouble, they mostly go to Badger.

BADGERThey shouldn’t. I don’t see at all why they do.

MOLEWe didn’t go to Badger! We spent the night as his guest?

BADGERPlease don’t do so again.

OTTERAbout halfway across the Wild Wood I came on Rabbit…

RABBITThat’s me!


OTTER...sitting on a stump, cleaning his silly face with his paws.

RABBITI told him that Mole had been seen in the Wild Wood last night.

BADGERHere, you Sammy and Billy be off home to your mother.

(Hedgehogs exit.)Annoying little creatures. The hour has come!

RATWhat hour? It’s awfully early in the day for an hour to have come!

MOLERatty’s right! Are you sure?

BADGERSure as the sky is blue!

OTTERWhose hour, you should rather say.

BADGERWhy, Toad's hour!

RABBITThe hour of Toad!

BADGERI said I would take Toad in hand, and I'm going to do it today!

MOLEToad's hour, of course! Hooray! I remember now!

OTTERWe’ll teach him to be a sensible Toad!

BADGERThis very morning as I learnt yesterday from...

RABBITMe! I told him! I saw it! It’s enormous

BADGER...Rabbit, another new and powerful car will arrive at Toad Hall.

OTTERToad is busy dressing himself in those awful clothes…

RABBITOh they are awful. I saw him in them yesterday.


BADGERRat! Mole! You will accompany Otter, Rabbit and me to Toad Hall.

RATRight you are! We'll rescue the poor unhappy animal!

(Cross to Toad Hall find a shiny new motor-car, of great size, painted a bright red. Mr. Toad enters arrayed in goggles, cap, and enormous over-coat with gauntleted gloves.)

TOADFellows! You're just in time to come with me for a jolly...

BADGERNonsense! Take those silly things off!

TOADWhat is the meaning of this outrage?

BADGERYou knew it must come to this, sooner or later, Toad.

RABBITYou've disregarded all the warnings we've given you.

OTTERYou're getting us all a bad name by your reckless driving. What folly!

RABBITYour crashes and your arguments with the police. Aren’t you sorry?

TOADNo! I'm not sorry. And it isn't folly! It’s glorious!

BADGERWhat? You must be sorry!

TOADI've searched my mind, and I'm not a bit sorry, so it's no good saying I am.

BADGERThen you don't promise, never to touch a car again?

TOADCertainly not!

OTTERI knew it!

TOADOn the contrary, I promise that the very first car I see! Off I go!

RAT


Otter! Told you so, didn't I?OTTER

I agreed with you didn’t I?RABBIT

I so hoped he’d see reason?TOAD

He will not!(Toad races off. Badger, Rat, Rabbit and Otter follow. Toad enters from opposite wing.)

TOADI’m too fast for them. They’ll never catch me!

(Fox enters unseen by Toad.)FOX

Should I turn him in? No none of my beeswax.TOAD

Poor old Ratty and Mole! And Rabbit and Otter. And Badger! Ha! Ha!FOX

Nothing poor about any of them.TOAD

Worthy fellows all, but very few brains and no education.FOX

Look who’s talking!(Fox exits. A motor car is pushed on.)

TOADThere cannot be any harm in my only just looking at it! I wonder, I wonder if this sort of car starts easily?

(Jumps in. Sound of car starting.)I’m Toad the terror before whom all must give way.

(Blackout.)Oh No!

(Sound of a car crash.)

****

SCENE THREE - Toad Goes to Court, to Jail and Escapes


SETTING: Summer - Late June

AT RISE: Judge’s bench pushed on. Lights up on a court scene. Toad is in cuffs guarded by Jailer.

JUDGEClerk, to my mind, the only difficulty...

CLERKOnly difficult! Yes Judge there should only be one difficulty per case!

JUDGE...that presents itself in this otherwise very clear case…

CLERKIt is a clear case! Clear as trout in a brook!

JUDGE...is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently hot…

CLERKYes My Lord. Hot as hot can be.

JUDGE...for the rogue and ruffian…

CLERKA worse rogue or ruffian can’t be imagined.

JUDGE...whom we see cowering…

CLERKMake him cower Judge!

JUDGE… cowering in the dock before us.

CLERKWell done Judge.

JUDGELet me see: he has been found guilty…

CLERKGuilty.

JUDGE...on the clearest evidence, first, of stealing…

CLERKStealing!


JUDGE...a valuable car; second, of reckless driving…

CLERKReckless driving!

JUDGE...and, third, of gross disrespect…

CLERKDisrespect!

JUDGEAre you done? Perhaps we should change places? Disrespect to the rural police.

CLERKGuilty as guilty can be.

JUDGEClerk, what is the stiffest penalty we can impose for each of these offenses?

CLERKThe stiffest, beyond stiff and stiffer…

JUDGEWithout giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt, because there isn't any.

CLERKOf course! Some people would consider that stealing the car was the worst offense; and so it is.

JUDGEI agree. Worse, worser, worstest.

CLERKBut sassing the police carries the severest penalty; and so it ought.

JUDGENot only severest beyond severe and severer!

CLERKSupposing you were to say twelve months…

JUDGETwelve months it is!

CLERK... for the theft which is mild; and say three years…

JUDGEThree years it is!

CLERK


...for the wild driving, which is kind; and say fifteen years...JUDGE

Fifteen years it is!CLERK

... for the sass which was pretty bad even if you only believe one-tenth...JUDGE

One tenth it is!CLERK

...of what you heard, Those figures add up to nineteen years...JUDGE

Nineteen years it is! Are you sure it adds up to nineteen?CLERK

...So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe side.JUDGE

Twenty years on the safe side it is!CLERK

Thank you Judge. The world is a safer place.JUDGE

Prisoner! Pull yourself together. It's going to be twenty years for you this time.TOAD

What! You can’t be serious. Do you know who I am? I’m Toad of…CLERK

Who you are doesn’t matter to the Judge! You button your lip and listen!JUDGE

And mind, if you appear before us again, we will deal with you very seriously!(Judge exits. Clerk drags Toad a cell. Clerk exits.)

TOADThis is the end for Toad! People will forget the very name of Toad!

(Jailer enters.) JAILER

Cheer up, Toad. Sit up, dry your eyes. Listen. I’ve an aunt who’s a laundress.TOAD

I tell you Jailer! I have several aunts who ought to be laundresses.JAILER

Do be quiet a minute, Toad. I'm trying to think, and you hurt my head.TOAD


I do apologize.JAILER

I have an aunt who’s a laundress. If you ask nicely, you might buy her dress and bonnet, and escape from the jail.

TOADA laundress! Me! Toad! You can’t be serious.

JAILERHave it your own way.

TOADYou wouldn't have Toad of Toad Hall, going about the country as a laundress!

JAILERThen you can stay here in jail Toad.

TOADMy apologies! You’re kind and clever. I’m indeed a proud and stupid toad.

JAILERToad, take off that coat and vest.

(Jailer dresses Toad as a laundress. )Go straight down the way you came.

(Jailer exits. Toad crosses. Sound of a train engine. Train and Train En-gineer enters.)

TRAIN ENGINEERHullo, mother! What's the trouble? You don't look cheerful.

TOADI’m a poor laundress Train Engineer. I've lost all my money, and can't pay for a ticket.

TRAIN ENGINEERThat's too bad. Lost your money and can't get home. Got some kids, too, waiting for you?

TOADYes. They'll be hungry...playing with matches...upsetting lamps...and quarreling.

TRAIN ENGINEERf you'll launder a few shirts for me, I'll give you a ride on my train.

TOADOh yes sir! Thank you sir! As many shirts as you wish!

TRAIN ENGINEER


Listen! There’s an train coming along very fast! Full of policemen; all shouting...Stop, stop!

TOADI’m not a laundress! I’m Mr. Toad escaped from jail. If I’m recaptured, it’ll be jail again for poor, innocent Toad!

TRAIN ENGINEERNow tell the truth; what were you put in prison for?

TOADI borrowed a car without asking. Judges take harsh views of such deeds.

TRAIN ENGINEERI don't like policemen ordering me about on my own train. I’ll help you.

TOADThank you my fine fellow!

(Sound of the train louder faster.)TRAIN ENGINEER

A short way ahead is a long tunnel. When we’re through, you jump and hide in the wood. They can chase me if they like.

TRAIN ENGINEERNow, jump!

(Toad jumps. Train Engineer exits. Train fades.)TOAD

This wood is so unfriendly. Night birds, rattling, make me think that the wood is full of policemen, closing in on me.

(Fox enters.)FOX

Hullo, laundress! Half a pair of socks and a pillow-case short this week! Make sure it doesn't happen again!

(Fox swaggers off laughing.)TOAD

I wish I had a stone to throw at him! (A barge slides on with a Barge-Woman pulled by a Barge Horse.)

BARGE-WOMANA nice morning, ma'am!

TOADA nice morning if you’re not in big trouble.

BARGE HORSE


Or forced to pull this stupid barge.BARGE-WOMAN

Where might you be going?TOAD

To a fine house called Toad Hall. Perhaps you’ve heard of it.BARGE-WOMAN

Why, I'm going that way myself. I'll give you a lift.BARGE HORSE

What’s one more to a poor old working horse!(Toad steps onto the barge.)

BARGE-WOMANSo you're in the laundry business? And are you very fond of laundering?

TOADI simply love it. Never so happy as when I've got both arms in the wash-tub.

BARGE-WOMANI bet you’ve never laundered so much as a towel!

TOADYou common, barge-woman!

BARGE HORSEThat’s a bit harsh and unfriendly, if at the same time true.

TOADI’m a respected, Toad! I will not be laughed at by a barge-woman!

BARGE-WOMANWhy, so you are! A horrid, nasty, crawly Toad!

(Barge-Woman shoves Toad off. Loud splash.)TOAD

Goodbye old witch! And here I am close to Toad Hall.(Rat enters.)

RATToad take off that old rag, and try looking like a gentleman. We heard you were in jail!

TOADQuite right, Ratty! I'm going to be a good Toad. As for cars, I've forgotten them. Come! I'm strolling down to Toad Hall...

RATYou haven't heard about the Weasels and Ferrets?


TOADWhat, the Wild Wooders? No, not a word! What have they been doing?

RATHow they've taken Toad Hall?

TOADTaken Toad Hall! Tell me all Ratty. I can bear it.

RATWhen you were jailed, we River-bankers stuck up for you. But the Wild Wood ani-mals said nasty things. Mole and Badger said that you’d return. They moved their things into Toad Hall, and slept there. Now I come to the most tragic part.

TOADDo say it quickly!

RATOne dark night, a band of weasels, ferrets and Weasels occupied the Hall. Mole and Badger sitting by the fire were driven into the cold, with many nasty remarks!

TOADAnd? Don’t keep it from me!

RATThe Wild Wooders have been living in Toad Hall ever since!

TOADHave they! I'll soon see about that!

RATIt's no good, Toad! You'd better sit down; you'll only get into trouble.

(Toad crosses to Toad Hall. A ferret with a gun looks out.)FERRET

Who comes there?TOAD

Stuff and nonsense!FERRET

Wrong order! First, we’ll see about nonsense, then we’ll worry about stuff.TOAD

What do you mean by talking like that to me?FERRET

It’s how I talk.TOAD

Come out of that at once, or I'll...


(Ferret fires the gun, Toad drops flat.)FERRET

You’ll what!(Toad jumps up races back to Rat)

TOADFerrets! There are Ferrets in the Hall.

RATWhat did I tell you? It's no good. They've got sentries posted. You must wait.

TOADI won’t!

(Crosses back to the Hall. A pillow flies out and hits Toad.)WEASEL

It will be your head next time, Toady!TOAD

Foul creature!WEASEL

We may be foul, but we’re in here and your out there!(Toad crosses back to Rat.)

RATWell, what did I tell you?

TOADRatty! I’ve been a stubborn Toad! Henceforth, I’ll be humble…

WEASELDon’t believe him!

TOADBe quiet thief! Ratty, I’ll take no action without your advice!

RATThen my advice to you is to be patient.

WEASELForever!

RATFor I’m convinced that we can do nothing until we talk to Mole and Badger.

TOADOf course, Mole and Badger. What's become of them?

WEASELYes what has become of them. They were such fun.


WEASELSend them back in!

TOADSilence invaders! Ratty, I’d forgotten all about them.

RATWhile you were in jail, they’ve been keeping an eye on the Weasels and weasels.

WEASELAn eye? Looked like four eyes from where we’re sitting.

RATYou don't deserve to have such true and loyal friends, Toad.

WEASELHe certainly does not!

TOADI'm an ungrateful beast, I know. Let’s go and find them...…

(Rat and Toad cross away from Toad Hall. Badger and Mole enter.)BADGER

Welcome home, Toad!MOLE

Hooray! Here's old Toad!RAT

Mole, tell us the situation, now that Toad is back at last.MOLE

Sentries posted everywhere, stones thrown at us.BADGER

What the Mole says is true. The Weasels are on guard.TOAD

Then it's all over. I’ll go and enlist in the army, and never see Toad Hall again!BADGER

Cheer up, Toady! I’ve a plan!(Badger, Toad and Rat exit. Mole enters wearing the laundress’s dress, crosses to Toad Hall.)

MOLEGood morning, gentlemen!

WEASELGentlemen he says! Not us says I! Now run away, my good woman, run away!

MOLE


Run away? It won't be me that'll be running away, in a very short time from now!WEASEL

Never mind her; she don't know what she's talking about.MOLE

Don't I?WEASEL

Not from where I’m standing!MOLE

Well, let me tell you this. Badger, Toad and their friends are plotting…WEASEL

Who cares! What’s Badger plotting then, if you know so much?MOLE

A hundred badgers will attack Toad Hall this very night.WEASEL

Impossible!MOLE

Six boatloads of Rats will come up from the river.WEASEL

Nonsense!MOLE

A picked body of Toads will storm the orchard.WEASEL

Ridiculous!MOLE

There won't be much left of you unless you clear out while you have the chance!(Mole exits. Badger, Rat and Toad enter.)

BADGERI got Otter to disguise himself as a sweep and call at the back-door with brushes over his shoulder, asking for a job.

RATClever!

BADGERThere's going to be a big banquet tomorrow night. The Chief Ferret's birthday, I be-lieve…

RATI’m not buying a birthday present for a ferret.


BADGERAll the ferrets will be gathered together in the dining-hall, eating and drinking. No guns, no swords, no sticks!

RATBut the sentinels will be posted as usual.

BADGERWe shall creep quietly through the trees...

RAT...with our pistols and swords and sticks...

BADGER...and rush in upon them.

TOAD...and whack 'em, and whack 'em, and whack 'em!

BADGEROur plan is settled.

TOADWe’ll settle ‘em! Good and proper

BADGEROnce past the Weasels, we four shall defeat the lot of them in five minutes.

(Mole enters.)MOLE

I've been having such fun getting a rise out of the Weasels!TOAD

Mole! You've ruined everything!BADGER

Mole, has more good sense than you think.TOAD

No! No! Mole has no sense!BADGER

You have managed well, clever Mole! Ratty! Now then, follow me!RAT

Yes! Yes! Off we go to battle the enemy!BADGER

Mole first, Rat next; Toad last. RAT

Come on, Toad!


(Toad bangs into Rat and Mole.)BADGER

We ought by now to be pretty near the Hall.BADGER

Now, boys, all together!(They push on the door.)

CHIEF FERRETMy dear Ferrets, I do not propose to detain you much longer…

FERRETGood! Hurrah!

CHIEF FERRET...but before I resume my seat I should like to say one word

FERRETOne word only! Hurrah! What’ll it be? I know! Eat!

CHIEF FERRET...about our kind host. We all know Toad!

FERRETGood Toad, Modest Toad, Honest Toad!

TOADOnly just let me get at him!

BADGERGet ready, all of you!

CHIEF FERRET...Let me sing you a short song…

FERRETAs short as possible! A one word song! Eat!

CHIEF FERRET...which I have composed on the subject of Toad.

BADGERThe hour is come! Follow me!

(Flings the door open. Ferrets scatter. Badger shouts. Toad whoops.)MOLE

A Mole! A Mole!(Weasels and Ferrets exit in a confused rush.)

BADGERWell done my brave Toad! Now we ought to have a Banquet at once, to celebrate.


TOADAnything to oblige. I don’t live to please myself, but to please my friends!

BADGERI'll order the Banquet. Toad, you write the invitations.

TOADWhat! Me stay indoors and write a lot of rotten letters! I'll be...Why, of course, Badger! I sacrifice this morning to duty and friendship!

RATToad! No speeches and no songs.

TOADMay I sing them just one little song?

RATYou know well that your songs are all boasting.

MOLEYour speeches are all self-praise.

BADGERAnd hot air.

RATPlease don't think that saying all this doesn't hurt me more than it hurts you.

TOADThis is a hard world for speech-making, singing Toad!

(Mother Weasel and little Weasels enter.)MOTHER WEASEL

Look, baby!LITTEL WEASEL

Where!MOTHER WEASEL

There’s the great Mr. Toad! And the brave Water Rat! Yonder comes the famous Mr. Mole! And the terrible grey Badger. If you don’t behave the Badger will get you!

BADGER(Weasels rush off.)

That is not true! I’m rather fond of children.(Rabbit enter SR. Fox enters SL.)

RABBITBadger is fond of children?

FOX


Not so I’ve noticed!(Otter rushes on, pauses, points.)

OTTERJuly Fly!

MOLEJuly already! That much closer to spring cleaning. Oh Bother!

(Otter rushes off. Blackout.)

CURTAIN


wind in the willowsd abridged - winnipesaukee playhouse...wind in the willows - 11. badger rat!...

Documents