EPIGRAPH

Like all great things in the world, women and religion and the sky . . . youwonderaboutit,andyoudon’tstopwonderingaboutit.

—TomWaits

CONTENTS

EPIGRAPH

PREFACE

CHAPTER1HUM

CHAPTER2OPEN

CHAPTER3BOTH

CHAPTER4WITH

CHAPTER5FOR

CHAPTER6AHEAD

CHAPTER7SO

EPILOGUE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

RESOURCES,NODS,NOTES,ANDAFEWSHOUT-OUTS

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

ALSOBYROBBELL

CREDITS

COPYRIGHT

ABOUTTHEPUBLISHER

PREFACETOTHESPECIALEDITION

I’mthrilledyou’vepickedupthisneweditionofmybookWhatWeTalkAboutWhenWeTalkAboutGod. There’s a good chance you’re reading this becauseyou’ve come across my work through the Life YouWant tour or one of myprojectswiththeOWNnetwork.Sobeforewegoanyfurther,IwanttogiveyouanideaofwhereI’mcomingfrom.

Iwas at abirthdayparty recently and Imet amanwho’s a rocket scientist. Itturnsoutthathe’snotjustyouraveragerocketscientist,he’sinchargeofprettymucheverythingweput into space. Itwas, asyoucan imagine, fascinating totalkwithhim.Atonepointinourconversationhewasexplaininghowtherearecertain characteristics required for a planet to sustain life and from what heknows,he’sconfidentthatwe’llfindlifeonotherplanetsinthenearfuture.Hesaidthislikeit’sthemoststraightforward,sensiblethingintheworld.Orotherworlds,forthatmatter.Hethenleanedinandlookedmeintheeyesandsaid

Andthat,Rob,willbedevastatingfortheChristianfaith.

Whichwasn’twhatIwasthinking.

Iwasthinking,Wow,thatwouldbeamazing.

I tell you about this fascinating man at this birthday party because of hisassumptionthatthediscoveryoflifeonotherplanetswouldbeathreattofaith.

He isn’t alone. Lots of people in our world see faith as stuck, rigid, narrow,behind,unable tocopewith thenewdiscoveriesandchallengesofourmodernworld.

Idon’tseeitthatway.Ifyourfaithisthreatenedbysomethingthat’strue,thenit

wasn’tmuchofafaithtobeginwith,wasit?

AsIreflectonmyworkoverthepastfifteenyears,I’mstruckwithhowcentraltheimportanceofdiscoveryandexplorationhavebeentomyunderstandingoffaith.Inmyfirstbook,VelvetElvis,IdescribedaVelvetElvispaintingthatIgotin college. In the lower left hand corner the artist painted the letterR with aperiod next to it. Imagine ifRhadannounced that therewasnomoreneed topaintbecauseRhadcomeupwith theultimatepainting.That’scrazy,becauseweunderstandthatartisaboutexploringanddiscoveringandconstantlycreatingsomethingnew.You’reneverdonepainting.Thesameistruewithfaith—you’renever done learning and growing and evolving. The moment things becomestatic,frozen,stuck,you’velostsomethingcentraltowhatitmeanstohavefaith.

Jesuscalleddisciplestofollowhim,andadiscipleisastudent.Formanyofus,our understanding of a student is shaped by themodern classroomwhere thegoalisoftentolearnthefactsandthenregurgitatethembackontheexamorinapaper.Butinthefirstcentury,adisciplewassomeonewhowaslearninghowtodowhat their teacherdid. Itwasn’t justabout themindandwhatyouknew, itwas about your entire life, about you learning how to live in the world in acertainway.

Ifindthisunderstandingincrediblyfreeing,andIwantpeopletopickthisupinmywriting.Iseemyselfasastudent,learningtheJesusway,doingmybesttoputwhatI’mlearningintowordsforothers.Wedon’thavetounderstanditallorhave all the answers: that’s one of the first assumptions of a student. You’relearning,andyou’llalwaysbelearning.Sowhenyoudon’tgetitrightthefirsttime, you take it easyonyourself becauseyou’re learning.Andwhatever youhavelearned,therewillalwaysbemore.That’swherethethrillis,thesurprise,thejoy—there’salwayssomethingnewaroundthecorner.

There’sagreatlinefromoneoftheNewTestamentlettersthatgoeslikethis:Allthingsareyours...

Ilovethatline.It’ssuchabig,buoyant,beautiful,affirmingviewoftheworld.Wherever you find truth, wherever you discover something new, affirm it,embraceit,enjoyit.Wewillalwaysbehungrytomakesenseofthings,always

lookingformeaningandconnectionanddepthinourexperiences.Faithisheretostay,thequestioniswhatkindoffaithwillpeoplehave.Iwantusalltohavefaithbigenoughtohandlewhateverchallengescomeourwayandopenenoughtocelebratewhatevernewdiscoverieswemakeinthisworld.Orotherworlds.

Ihopethatyoupickupthissenseofwonderandjoyinmywork.

June2014

CHAPTER1

HUM

I realize thatwhen Iuse thewordGod in the titleof thisbook there’s agoodchance I’m steppingon all kindsof landmines. Is there amorevolatilewordloaded downwithmore history, assumptions, and expectations than that tired,old, relevant,electricallycharged,provocative, fresh,antiquatedyetubiquitousasever,familiar/unfamiliarwordGod?

Andthat’swhyIuseit.

FrompeopleriskingtheirlivestoservethepoorbecausetheybelieveGodcalledthem to do it, to pastors claiming that the latest tornado or hurricane orearthquakeisGod’sjudgment,toprofessorsproclaimingthatGodhasonlyeverbeenafigmentofourimagination, topeopleinarecoverymeetingsittinginacircledrinkingbadcoffeeand talkingaboutsurrendering toahigherpower, tomusiciansintheiracceptancespeechatanawardsshowthankingGodfortheirhitsongaboutalate-nightbootycall,whenitcomestoGod,weareallovertheplace.

Likeamirror,GodappearstobemoreandmoreareflectionofwhoeveritisthathappenstobetalkingaboutGodatthemoment.

Andthentherearethelatestsurveysandpolls,theonestellingushowmanyofus believe and don’t believe inGod and howmany fewer of us are going tochurch, inevitably prompting experts to speculate about demographics andtechnologyandworshipstyleandthisgenerationversusthatgeneration,allofitavoidingtheglaringtruththatsitsrightthereelephant-likeinthemiddleoftheroom.

Thetruthis,wehaveaproblemwithGod.

It’snotjustaproblemofdefinition—whatisitwe’retalkingaboutwhenwetalkabout God?—and it’s not just the increasing likelihood that two peoplediscussingGod are in fact talking about two extraordinarily different realitieswhileusingtheexactsameword.

ThisproblemwithGodgoesmuch,muchdeeper.

Asapastoroverthepasttwentyyears,whatI’veseenagainandagainispeoplewhowanttolivelivesofmeaningandpeaceandsignificanceandjoy—peoplewho have a compelling sense that their spirituality is in some vital and yetmysterious way central to who they are—but who can’t find meaning in thedominant conceptions, perceptions, and understandings of God they’veencountered. In fact, thoseconceptionsaren’t just failing thembutareactuallycausingharm.

We’reengagedmorethaneverbythepossibilitiesofsoulandspirit,andbythenaggingsuspicionthatallofthismaynotbeagrandaccidentafterall;butGod,an increasing number of people are asking—what does God have to do withthat?

I’vewrittenthisbookaboutthatword,then,becausethere’ssomethingintheair,we’re in themidst of amassive rethink, amovement is gainingmomentum, amomentinhistoryisinthemaking:thereisagrowingsenseamongagrowingnumberofpeoplethatwhenitcomestoGod,we’reattheendofoneeraandthestartofanother,anentiremodeofunderstandingandtalkingaboutGoddyingassomethingnewisbeingbirthed.

There’s an ancient story about a man named Jacob who had a magnificentdream,andwhenhewakesuphesays,“SurelyGodwas in thisplace,andI, Iwasn’tawareofit.”

Untilnow.

The power of the story is its timeless reminder that God hasn’t changed; it’sJacobwhowakesuptoawholenewawarenessofwho—andwhere—Godis.

Whichbringsmeback to thismoment, to the realization amongan increasingnumberof people thatwe arewakingup innewways to theGodwho’sbeenherethewholetime.

I’maware, tosay the least, that talkingabout thisandwritingabookabout it,namingitand trying toexplain itand takingashotatdescribingwhere it’sallheaded,runsallsortsofrisks.

Igetthat.

We’re surrounded by friends and neighbors and family and intellectual andreligious systems with deeply held, vested interests in the conventionalcategories and conceptions of belief and denial continuing to remain asentrenchedasthosetraditionalconceptionsare.Thereare,astheysay,snipersoneveryroof.Andbeingcontroversialisn’tremotelyinteresting.

Butloveandmeaningandjoyandhope?That’scompelling.That’swhatI’mafter.That’sworththerisk.

ThegreatGermanscholarHelmutThielickeoncesaidthatapersonwhospeakstothishour’sneedwillalwaysbeskirtingtheedgeofheresy,butonlythepersonwhorisksthoseheresiescangainthetruth.

Andthetruthis,wehaveaproblem—wehaveaneed—andthere’salwaysthechancethatthismayinfactbethehour.

First,then,abitmoreaboutthisGodproblem...

WhenIwastwenty,IdroveanOldsmobile.

Rememberthose?

Itwasafour-doorDelta88anditwassilverandithadabenchseatacrossthefrontwithanarmrestthatfoldeddownanditfitsevenoreightpeopleeasilyandin a feat of engineering genius the rear license platewas on a hinge that youpulleddowninordertofillupthegastankandthetrunkwassohugeyoucouldputfivesnowboardsinatthesametimeoradrumset,severalguitaramps,andabody ifyouneeded to. (I’m justmessingwithyou there, about thebody.)Myfriendscalledit“theSled.”

Itwasamagnificentautomobile,theSled,anditservedmewellforthoseyears.

Buttheydon’tmakeOldsmobilesanymore.

Theyusedtobepopular,andyourgrandparentsorroommatemaystilldriveone,butthefactorieshaveshutdown.Eventuallytheonlyonesleftwillbecollector’sitems,relicsofanerathathaspassed.

Oldsmobilecouldn’tkeepupwiththetimes,andsoitgraduallybecamepartofthepast,notthefuture.

Forthem,notus.Forthen,notnow.

I tellyouabout theSled Iused todrivebecause formany inourworld today,God is likeOldsmobiles. To explainwhat Imeanwhen I talk aboutGod-likeOldsmobiles,afewstories:myfriendCathirecentlytoldmeaboutaneventsheattendedwhereaninfluentialChristianleadertalkedopenlyabouthowhedidn’tthinkwomenshouldbeallowedtoteachandleadinthechurch.Cathi,whohastwomaster’sdegrees,sattherestunned.

Igotane-mailfrommyfriendGarylastyear,sayingthathe’ddecidedtovisitachurch with his family on Easter Sunday. They’d heard a sermon about howresurrectionmeanseverybodywhoisgayisgoingtohell.

AndthenmyfriendMichaelrecentlytoldmeabouthearingtheleaderofalargeChristiandenominationsaythatifyoudenythatGodmadetheworldinaliteralsixdays,youaredenyingtherestoftheBibleaswell,becauseitdoesn’tmatterwhatsciencesays.

AndthentherearethetwopastorsIknowwhoeachtoldme,withindaysoftheother, how theirwives don’twant anything to dowithGod.Bothwiveswereraised and educated in very religious environments that placed a great deal ofimportance on the belief that God is good and the point of life is to have apersonal relationshipwith this goodGod. But bothwives have suffered greatpain in their young lives, and the clean andneat categories of faith theywerehanded in their youth haven’t been capable of helping them navigate thecomplexity of their experiences. And so, like jilted lovers, they have turnedaway.God, for them, isanawkward,alien, strangenotion.Likesomeone theyusedtoknow.

And then there’s theparty I attended inNewYorkwhere Imet awell-knownjournalistwho,whenhewastoldthatI’mapastor,wantedtoknowifallofyoupastors use big charts with timelines and graphics to show people when theworldisgoingtoendandhowChristiansaregoingtoescapewhilethosewhoareleftbehindendureuntoldsuffering.

ItellyouaboutCathisittingtherestunnedandGaryhearingthatsermonandmeat that party because whether it’s science or art or education or medicine orpersonalrightsorbasicintellectualintegrityorsimplydealingwithsufferinginallofitscomplexity,formanyinourworld—andthisincludesChristiansandagrowingnumberofpastors—believingor trusting in thatGod, theone they’veheardotherChristians talkabout, feels likeastepbackward, toanearlier, lessinformedandenlightenedtime,onethatwe’vethankfullyleftbehind.

There’saquestionthat lurksinthesestories,aquestionthatanever-increasingnumber of people across a broad range of backgrounds and perspectives areaskingaboutGod:

CanGodkeepupwiththemodernworld?

Things have changed. We have more information and technology than ever.We’reinteractingwithafarmorediverserangeofpeoplethanweusedto.AndthetribalGod,theonethatistheonlyonemanyhavebeenexposedto—theonewho’salwaysright(whichmeanseverybodyelseiswrong)—isincreasinglyperceivedtobesmall,narrow,irrelevant,mean,andsometimesjustnotthatintelligent.

IsGodgoingtobeleftbehind?LikeOldsmobiles?

Forothers, it isn’t thatGodisbehindorunable todealwith thecomplexityoflife;forthemGodneverexistedinthefirstplace.Inrecentyearswe’veheardanumberofveryintelligentandarticulatescientists,professors,andwritersarguepassionately and confidently that there is noGod. This particular faith insiststhathumanbeingsarenothingmorethanhighlycomplexinteractionsofatomsand molecules and neurons, hardwired over time to respond to stimuli inparticular ways, feverishly constructing meaning to protect us from theunwelcome truth that there is no ultimatemeaning because in the endwe aresimplythesumofourparts—nomore,noless.

Thatallthereisis,intheend,allthereis.

Thisdenial isn’tanythingnew,but it’sgainedaheadofsteaminrecentyears,thisresurgenceseeminglyinreactiontotheGod-likeOldsmobile,theonemoreand more people are becoming convinced is not only behind, but downrightdestructive.

I was recently invited to participate in a debate at which the topic was “Isreligiongoodorbad?”Here’s thekicker: theorganizerswantedme toknow I

wasfreetochoosewhichsideI’dtake!

Howrevealingisthat?

Allofwhichbringsme toJaneFonda. (Youdidn’t see thatcoming,didyou?)Several years ago in an interview she gave to Rolling Stone magazine theinterviewersaidthis:

Yourmost recent—andperhapsmost dramatic—transformation is yourbecoming aChristian.Evenwithyourflairforcontroversy,that’sprettyexplosive.

It’s a telling statement, isn’t it? You can sense so much there, as if there’s aquestion behind the question that isn’t really a question—that hidden questionbeing what the interviewer really wants to ask her: “Why would anybodybecomeaChristian?”

That’saquestionlotsofpeoplehave—educated,reasonable,modernpeoplewhofindbecomingaChristianan“explosive,”nottomentionaninconceivable,thingtodo.

Inherresponse,JaneFondaspokeofbeingdrawntofaithbecause“Icouldfeelreverencehumminginme.”

Reverencehumminginme.Ilovethatphrase.Itspeakstotheexperienceswe’veallhad—momentsandtastesandglimpseswhenwe’vefoundourselvesdeeplyawareofthesomethingmoreoflife,thesomethingelse,thesensethatallofthismightjustmeansomething,thatitmaynotbeanaccident,thatithasprofoundresonanceandthatitmattersinwaysthatareveryrealandveryhardtoexplain.

Foramassivenumberofpeople,todenythisreverencehumminginus,toinsistthatwe’resimplyrandomcollectionsofatomsandthatallthereisisallthereis,leavesthemcold,bored,anduninspired.

Itdoesn’tringtruetoourveryrealexperiencesoflife.

But when people turn to many of the conventional, traditional religiousexplanations for this reverence, they’re often led to the God who is likeOldsmobiles,theonewho’sbackthere,behind,unabletokeepup.

Allofthisraisingthequestions:Arethereotherwaystotalkaboutthereverencehumminginus?Arethereotherwaystotalkaboutthesensewehavethatthere’swaymoregoingonhere?ArethereotherwaystotalkaboutGod?

Myanswerisyes.Ibelievethereare.Butbeforewegettothoseothersways,Ineedtofirsttellyouwhythisbookcomesburstingoutofmyheartlikeitdoes.

OneSundaymorninganumberofyearsagoIfoundmyselfface-to-facewiththepossibilitythatthereisnoGodandwereallyareonourownandthismaybeallthereis.

Now I realize lots of people have questions and convictions anddoubts alongthose lines—that’s nothing new. But in my case, it was an Easter Sundaymorning,andIwasapastor.IwasdrivingtothechurchserviceswhereI’dbegivingasermonabouthowthereisaGodandthatGodcameheretoEarthtodosomethingmiraculousandrisefromthedeadsothatallofuscouldliveforever.

And it was expected that I would do this passionately and confidently andpersuasivelywithgreathopeandjoyandlotsofexclamationpoints.!!!!!!!

That’showtheEastersermongoes,right?ImagineifI’dstoodupthereandsaid,“Well,I’vebeenthinkingaboutthisforawhile,andIgottabehonestwithyou:Ithinkwe’rekindascrewed.”

Doesn’twork,doesit?

Ishouldpausehereandsaythatwhenyou’reapastor,yourheartandsoulandpaycheck and doubts and faith and hopes and struggles and intellect and

responsibilityareallwrappedup together ina life/job that isverypublic. AndSundaycomesonceaweek,whenyou’reexpectedtohavesomethinginspiringtosay,regardlessofhowyouhappentofeelorthinkaboutGodatthemoment.Thiscancreateasuffocatingtensionattimes,becauseyouwanttoservepeoplewellandgivethemyourverybest,andyetyou’realsohuman.Andinmycase,fullofreally,reallyseriousdoubtsabouttheentireballofGodwax.

ThatEasterSundaywasfairlytraumatic,tosaytheleast,becauseIrealizedthatwithout some serious reflection and study and wise counsel I couldn’t keepgoingwithoutlosingsomethingvitaltomysanity.Theonlywayforwardwastoplungeheadfirstintomydoubtsandswimallthewaytothebottomandfindoutjust howdeep that poolwent.And if I had to, in the end,walk away ingoodconscience,thensobeit.AtleastI’dhavemyintegrity.

Thisbook, then, isdeeply,deeplypersonal forme.Muchofwhat I’vewrittenherecomesdirectlyoutofmyowndoubt,skepticism,anddarknightsofthesoulwhen I found myself questioning—to be honest—everything. There is a coldshudder that runsdownthespinewhenyoufindyourself face-to-facewith theunvarnishedpossibilitythatwemayintheendbealone.Totrustthatthereisadivinebeingwhocaresandlovesandguidescanfeelliketakingaleap—acrosstheocean.Sowhen I talk aboutGod and faith andbelief and all that, it’s notfrom a triumphant, impatient posture of “Come on, people—get with theprogram!”Icometothistopiclimping,withsomebruises,acutelyawareofhowmaddening, confusing, frustrating, infuriating, and even traumatic it can be totalkaboutGod.

WhatIexperienced,overalongperiodoftime,wasagradualawakeningtonewperspectivesonGod—specifically,theGodJesustalkedabout.Icametoseethattherewere depths and dimensions to the ancientHebrew tradition, and to theChristian traditionwhichgrewoutof that, that spokedirectly tomyquestionsandstrugglesincomingtotermswithhowtoconceiveofwhoGodisandwhatGodisandwhythatevenmattersandwhatthathastodowithlifeinthisworld,hereandnow.

Through that process, which is of course still going on, the doubts didn’tsuddenly go away and the beliefs didn’t suddenly form nice, neat categories.Something much more profound happened. Something extraordinarily freeingand inspiring and invigorating and really, really helpful, something thrillingwhichcompelsme tositheredayafterday,monthaftermonth,andwrite thisbook.

Whichleadsmetotwobrieftruthsaboutthisbookbeforewegofurther.

First, I’maChristian,andso Jesus ishowIunderstandGod. I realize that forsomepeople,hearingtalkaboutJesusshrinksandnarrowsthediscussionaboutGod,butmyexperiencehasbeen theexactopposite.Myexperiencesof Jesushave opened my mind and my heart to a bigger, wider, more expansive andmysterious and loving God who I believe is actually up to something in theworld.

Second,what I’veexperienced timeand timeagain is thatpeoplewant to talkaboutGod.Whetherit’swhattheyweretaughtgrowingupornottaught,orwhatinspiresthemorwhatrepulsesthem,orwhatgivesthemhopeorwhatfillsthemwithdespair,I’vefoundpeopletobeextremelykeentotalkabouttheirbeliefsandlackofbeliefsinGod.WhatI’veobservedisthatwhilewewantmoreofaconnectionwiththereverencehummingwithinus,weoftendon’tknowwheretobeginorwhatstepstotakeorwhatthatprocessevenlookslike.

So if, in some smallway, this book could provide someguidance along theselines,I’dbeecstatic.Insayingthat,Ishouldbeclearhereaboutonepoint:thisisnotabookinwhichI’lltrytoprovethatGodexists.Ifyouevencouldprovetheexistence of the divine, I suspect that at that moment you would in fact betalkingaboutsomething,orsomebody,else.

This is a book about seeing, about becomingmore andmore alive and aware,orientingourselvesaroundtheGodwhoIbelieveisthegroundofourbeing,theelectricitythatlightsupthewholehouse,thetranscendentpresenceinourtastes,sights,andsensationsofthedepthanddimensionandfullnessoflife,fromjoytoagonytoeverythingelse.

Now,aboutwherewe’reheadedinthefollowingpages.

This book centers around three words. They aren’t long or technical orcomplicatedorscholarly;they’reshort,simple,everydaywords,andthey’rethefoundationonwhicheverythingwe’regoingtocoverrests.

These threewords are central to how I understandGod, and if I couldCAPSLOCKTHEMTHEWHOLEWAYTHROUGHOUTTHEBOOK,Iwould;orwritethemintheskyoretchtheminblood(onsecondthought,maybenot)orgraffitithemonthesideofyourhouse(let’snotdothiseither,thoughI’dlovetoseewhatBanksywoulddowiththem),becausethey’rethegiant,big,loud,this-one-goes-to-eleven idea thatanimateseverythingwe’regoing toexplore in thefollowingpages.

They’ve unleashed inme newways of thinking about and understanding andmostimportantlyexperiencingGod.They’vemademylifebetter,andmyhopeisthattheywilldothesameforyou.

Butbeforeweget to those threewords,we first have twootherswordswe’regoingtocover.(Nicebuildup,huh?)

It’s these two words that will set us up for the three words that form thebackboneofthebook.

First,we’ll talkaboutbeingopen,becausewhenwetalkaboutGodwedragamassive amount of expectations and assumptions into the discussion with usabout how theworldworks andwhat kind of universewe’re living in. OftenGod’sexistenceischallengedintheconversationaboutwhatmattersmostinthemodern world because haven’t we moved past all of that ancient, primitive,superstitious thinking? We have science after all, and reason and logic andevidence.WhatdoesGodhavetodowiththenewchallengeswe’refacingandknowledgewe’reacquiring?Quitealot,actually,becausetheuniverse, it turnsout, isway,wayweirder thananyofus first thought.And thatweirdnesswilldemandthatwebeopen.

Sofirst,Open.

Then we’ll talk about talking, because when we talk about God, we’re usinglanguage,andlanguagebothhelpsusandfailsusinourattemptstounderstandanddescribetheparadoxicalnatureoftheGodwhoisbeyondwords.

FirstOpen,thenBoth.

Andthen,afterthosetwowords,wegettothethreewords,thewordsthatwillshapehowwetalkaboutGodinthisbook.Thewordsare(Ifeellikethereshouldbeadrumrollorsomething...)

With,For,Ahead.

With,becauseIunderstandGodtobetheenergy,theglue,theforce,thelife,thepower,andthesourceofallweknowtobethedepth,fullness,andvitalityoflifefrom the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and everything in between. IbelieveGodiswithusbecauseIbelievethatallofusarealreadyexperiencingthepresenceofGodincountlesswayseverysingleday.IntalkingabouttheGodwhoiswithus, IwantyoutoseehowthiswithnessdirectlyconfrontspopularnotionsofGodthatputGodsomewhereelse,doingsomethingelse,comingherenowandagaintodoGod-typethings.IwantyoutoseeboththeirrelevanceandthedangerofthatparticularperspectiveofGodasyoumoreandmoreseeGodallaroundyouallthetime.

Thenfor,becauseIbelieveGodisforeverysingleoneofus,regardlessofourbeliefsorperspectivesoractionsorfailuresormistakesorsinsoropinionsaboutwhetherGodexistsornot.IbelievethatGodwantsuseachtoflourishandthrivein thisworld here and now aswe becomemore andmore everythingwe canpossiblybe.IntalkingaboutthefornessofGod,IwantyoutoseehowmanyofthedominanttheologicalsystemsofthoughtthatinsistGodisangryandhatefulandjustwaitingtojudgeusunlesswedoorsayorperformorbelievetheright

things actuallymake peoplemiserable and plague themwith all kinds of newstressesandanxieties,nevermoresothanwhentheyactuallystartbelievingthatGod is really like that. Iwant you to see the radical, refreshing, revolutionaryforness that is at the heart of Jesus’s message about God as it informs andtransformsyourentirelife.

Then ahead, because when I talk about God, I’m not talking about a divinebeingwhoisbehind,tryingtodragusbacktoaprimitive,barbaric,regressive,prescientificagewhenwebelievedEarthwasflatandthecenteroftheuniverse.I believe thatGod isn’t backward-focused—opposed to reason, liberation, andprogress—but instead ispullingusandcallingusanddrawingallofhumanityforward—as God always has—into greater and greater peace, love, justice,connection,honesty,compassion,andjoy.IwantyoutoseehowtheGodweseeat work in the Bible is actually ahead of people, tribes, and cultures as Godalwayshas been.Far toomanypeople in ourworld have come to seeGod asback there, primitive, not-that-intelligent, dragging everything backward towhereitusedtobe.Idon’tunderstandGodtobestuckbackthere,andIwantyou toexperience thispull forwardasavital,activereality inyourday-to-daylifeasyouseejustwhatGodhasbeenuptoallalongwitheverysingleoneus.

Allofwhichleadsustoonemorewordtowrapitup:so.Sowhat?Sohowdowe live this?So is the question aboutwhat all this talking has to dowith oureverydaythinkingandfeelingandliving.

Toreview,then:Open,Both,With,For,Ahead,andSo.

Onemorenote aboutnotes:Allof theplaceswhere I citeScriptureverses, aswell as credits for other sources for information and suggestions for furtherreading,areincludedintheendnotes,organizedtherebythemeorkeyphrases.

It’safairbitofgroundtocover,andmyhopeisthatbytheendyouwillsay,

“Nowthat’swhatI’mtalkingabout.”

CHAPTER2

OPEN

OnetimeIwasaskedtospeaktoagroupofatheistsandIwentandIhadablast.Afterward they invited me out for drinks, and we were laughing and tellingstoriesandhavingallsortsofinterestingconversationwhenawomanpulledmeasidetoaskmeaquestion.Shehadaconcernedlookonherfaceandherbrowwasslightlyfurrowedasshelookedmeintheeyesandsaid,“Youdon’tbelieveinmiracles,doyou?”

AsIlistened,Icouldn’thelpbutsmile,becausenotlongbeforethateveningI’dbeenapproachedbyachurchgoing,highlydevoutChristianwomanwho’daskedme,with the exact same concerned look on her face, complete with furrowedbrow,“Youbelieveinmiracles,don’tyou?”

It’sasiftheonewomanwasconcernedthatIhadlostmymind,whiletheotherwomanwasconcernedthatIhadlostmyfaith.

There’s a giant either/or embedded in their questions, an either/or that reflectssomeofthegreatquestionsofourera:Faithorintellect?Belieforreason?Miraclesorlogic?Godorscience?

Canapersonbelieveinthingsthatviolateall thelawsofreasonandlogicandthenclaimtobereasonableandlogical?

Ipointthiseither/oroutbecausehowwethinkaboutGodisdirectlyconnectedwithhowwethinkabouttheworldwe’relivingin.

When someone dismisses the supernatural and miraculous by saying, “Thosethings don’t happen,” andwhen someone else believes in something he can’tproveandhasnoevidencefor,thosebeliefsarebothrootedinparticularwaysofunderstandingwhat kindofworldwe’re living in andhowweknowwhatweknow.

Often in these either/or discussions, people on both sides assume they’re justbeing reasonable or logical or rational or something else intelligent-sounding,withoutrealizingthatthemodernworldhasshapedandmoldedandformedhowwethinkabouttheworld,whichleadstohowwethinkaboutGod,inanumberof ways that are relatively new in human history and have a number ofsignificantlimits.

Sobeforewe talkabout theGodwho iswith us and for us andahead of us,we’lltalkaboutthekindofworldwe’relivinginandhowthatshapeshowweknowwhatweknow.

First,we’lltalkaboutthebignessoftheuniverse,thenthesmallnessoftheuniverse,thenwe’lltalkaboutyouandwhatitisthatmakesyouyou,andthenwe’lltalkabouthowallthisaffectshowweunderstandandtalkaboutGod.

Thiswill takeawhile—sostaywithme—because theuniverse iswayweirderthananyofuseverimagined...

I.WelcometotheRedShift

Theuniverse,itturnsout,isexpanding.

Restaurant chains expand, waistbands expand, so do balloons and those littlefoamanimaltoysthatcomeinpill-shapedcapsules—butuniverses?

Ormoreprecisely,theuniverse?It’sexpanding?

Now the edge of the universe is roughly ninety billion trillion miles away(roughly being the word you use when your estimate could be off by AMILLION MILES), the visible universe is a million million million millionmilesacross,andallofthegalaxiesintheuniversearemovingawayfromalloftheothergalaxiesintheuniverseatthesametime.

Thisiscalledgalacticdispersal,anditmayexplainwhysomechildrenhaveahardtimesittingstill.

The solar system thatwe live in,which fills less than a trillionth of availablespace, is moving at 558 thousandmiles per hour. It’s part of theMilkyWaygalaxy,andittakesoursolarsystembetween200and250millionyearstoorbittheMilkyWayonce. TheMilkyWay contains a number of smaller galaxies,includingtheFornaxDwarf,theCanisMajor,theUrsaMinor,theDraco,theLeoIandthenot-to-be-forgottenLeoII,theSculptor,andtheSextans.It’s part of a group of fifty-four galaxies creatively called the Local Group,whichisamemberofanevenlargergroupcalledtheVirgoSupercluster(whichhadanumberofhitsinglesintheearlyeighties).

Andhappenstobetravelingat666thousandmilesanhour.

(Sobecarefuloutthere,andlookbothwaysbeforeyoucrossthesupernova.)

Backtoouroriginalquestion:Expanding?

Aroundahundredyearsago,severalastronomers,amongthemEdwinHubble,

heof telescope fame, andVestoSlipher, heof awesomename fame,observeddistantgalaxiesgivingoffredlight.Redisthecolorgalaxiesemitwhenthey’removingawayfromyou,bluewhenthey’removingtowardyou—hencetheterm“redshift.”

Fast-forward to 1964, to two physicists working for the Bell TelephoneCompany,ArnoPenzias andRobertWilson.Thesemenwere unable to locatethe source of strange radiowaves theywere continually picking upwith theirhighly sensitive equipment. As they searched for the source of these waves,cleanedthebirddroppings(whichPenziascalled“whitedielectricmaterial”)offtheir instruments, and shared their findingswith other scientists, they realizedthattheywerepickingupbackgroundradiationfromamassiveexplosion.

Anexplosion, it’scommonlybelieved, thathappenedanumberofyearsago—13.7billion,tobemoreexact.

Apparently, before everything was anything, there was a point, called asingularity, and then there was a bang involving inconceivably hightemperatures, loaded with enough energy and potential and possibility toeventuallycreatewhatyouandIknowtobelife,theuniverse,andeverythinginit.

The background radiation from this explosion, by the way, is still around insmall amounts as the static on your television. (And you thought it was yourcablecompany.)Nowwhenwegetintosizesanddistancesandspeedsthisbigand farandgalacticandmassive, thingsdon’t function inwayswe’re familiarwith.Forexample,gravity.

Jumpofftheroofofyourhouse,dropaplateonthefloorinthekitchen,launchapaperairplaneandyouseegravityatwork,pullingthingstowardourplanetinfairly consistent and predictable ways. But in other places in the universe,gravityisn’tsoreliable.Therearecelestialbodiescalledneutronstarsthathavesuch strong gravity at work within them that they collapse in on themselves.Thesestarscanweighmorethantwohundredbilliontons—morethanallofthecontinentsonEarthputtogether...andfitinateaspoon.

Andthenthere’sallthatwedon’tknow.Astaggering96percentoftheuniverseismadeupofblackholes,darkmatter,anddarkenergy.Thesemysterious,hardtosee,andevenharder tounderstandphenomenaareamajorengineof life intheuniverse,leavinguswith4percentoftheuniversethatisactuallyknowable.

Whichleadsustoacornerofthis96percentunknowableuniverse,totheouteredgeofanaveragegalaxy,toaplanetcalledEarth.Ourhome.

Earthweighsaboutsixbilliontrilliontons,ismovingaroundthesunatroughlysixty-sixthousandmilesanhour,andisdoingthiswhilerotatingattheequatorat a little over a thousandmiles an hour. Sowhen you feel like your head isspinning,itis.Parisis,afterall,goingsixhundredmilesanhour.

Earth’ssurfaceismadeupofabouttenbigplatesandtwentysmalleronesthatneverstopslippingandsliding,likeGreenland,whichmoveshalfaninchayear.ThegeneralestimateisthatthiscurrentconfigurationofcontinentsthatweknowtobeAfrica,Asia,Europe,etc.hasbeenlikethisabouta tenthof1percentofhistory.Theworld,asweknowit,isarelativelynewarrangement.

Every day there are on average two earthquakes somewhere in theworld thatmeasure 2 or greater on the Richter scale, every second about one hundredlightningboltshit theground,andeverynineteensecondssomeonesittinginarestaurantsomewherehearsLionelRichie’ssong“DancingontheCeiling”one.more.time.

Speakingoftime,hereonEarthwetravelaroundthesunevery365days,whichwecallayear,andwespinoncearoundeverytwenty-fourhours,whichwecalla day. Our concepts of time, then, are shaped by large, physical, planetaryobjectsmovingaroundeachotherwhileturningthemselves.Timeisdeterminedbyphysicalspace.

Noplanets,whicharethings,notime.

Wehavecalendarsthatdividetimeupintopredictable,segmented,uniformunits

—hours and days and months and years. This organization into regular,sequentialintervalsthatunfoldwithprecisepredictabilityhasdeeplyshapedourthinkingabouttime.Theseconstructsaregoodandhelpfulinmanyways—theyhelpusgettoourdentistappointmentsandremembereachother’sbirthdays,buttheyalsoprotectusfromhowelasticandstretchytimeactuallyis.

Ifyouplaceaclockonthegroundandthenyouplaceasecondclockonatower,thehandsof the clockon the towerwillmove faster thanon the clockon theground,becauseclosertothegroundgravityisstronger,slowingdownthehandsoftheclock.

Ifyoustandoutsideonastarrynight,thelightyouseefromthestarsisthestarsas theywerewhen the light left them.You are not seeing how those stars arenow; you in the present are seeing how those starswere years and years andyearsinthepast.

If you stand outside on a sunny day, you are enjoying the sun as itwaseightminutesago.

Ifyoufoundyourselfridingonatrainthatwastravelingatthespeedoflightandyoulookedoutthewindow,youwouldnotseethingsahead,thingsbesideyou,andthingsyouhadjustpassed.Youwouldseeeverythingallatonce.Youwouldloseyoursenseofpast,present,andfuturebecauselinear,sequentialtimewouldcollapseintoonegiantNOW.

Timeisnotconsistent:itbendsandwarpsandcurves;itspeedsupandslowsdown;itshiftsandchanges.Timeisrelative,itsconsistencyapersistentillusion.

It’sanexpanding,shifting,spinning,turning,rotating,

slippingandslidinguniversewe’relivingin.

Thereisnouniversalup;thereisnoultimatedown;thereisnoobjective,stationary,unmovingplaceofrestwhereyoucanobserveallthatceaselessmovement.

Sittingstill,afterall,isnodifferentthanmaintainingauniformapproximateconstantstateofmotion.

Thereisnoabsoluteviewpoint;thereareonlyviewsfromapoint.

Bendy, curvy, relative—the past, present, and future are illusions as space-time warps and distorts in a stunning variety of ways, leading us to anothermatter:matter.

Thesunisbothastarthatweorbit,andourprimarysourceofenergy.

Itisaphysicalobject,anditistheengineoflifeforourplanet.

Thesunismadeofmatter,andthesunisenergy.Atthesametime.

AlbertEinsteinwasthefirsttonamethis,showingthatmatterisactuallylocked-upenergy.Andenergyisliberatedmatter.

Perhapsyou’ve seenposters of theSwiss patent clerk stickinghis tongueout,withthewildhairandtherumorsofhowhewassupposedlysuchageniusthathewouldforgettoputhispantsoninthemorning.Andthenthere’shisfamousE=mc2formula,whichmanyofuscouldconfidentlywriteoutonachalkboard

evenifwecouldn’tbegintoexplainit.

Beyondallthat,though,whatexactlywasitthathedid?

What Einstein did, through his theories of general and special relativity, wasshow that theuniverse isway,wayweirder thananyonehad thought. I realizethatweirderisn’tthemostscientificofterms,butEinstein’sworktookhimfromthebignessof theuniverse to thesmallnessof theuniverse,and that’swhenastring of truly stunning discoveriesweremade, discoveries that challenge ourmostbasicideasabouttheworldwe’relivingin.

II.WhoOrderedThat?

For thousands of years people have wondered what the universe is made of,assuming that there must be some kind of building block, a particle, a basicelement,acosmicLegoofsorts—somethingreallysmallandstablethatmakesup everything we know to be everything. The possibilities are fascinating,because if you could discover this primal buildingmaterial, you could answercountlessquestionsabouthowwegothereandwhatwe’remadeofandwhereit’sallheaded...

Youcould,ideally,makesenseofthings.

Greek philosophers—among themDemocritus,who lived twenty-five hundredyears ago—speculated about this elemental building block, using a particularwordforit.TheGreekshadawordtomos,whichreferredtocuttingordividingsomething. Out of this they developed the concept of something that was a-tomos, something“indivisible,uncuttable,” something thateverythingelsewasmadeof.Somethingreallysmall,ofwhichthereisnothingsmaller.Somethingatomos,fromwhichwegetthewordatom.

Imaginewhatwe’dlearnifwecouldactuallydiscoveroneoftheseatoms!Thatwas the quest that compelled scientists and philosophers and thinkers forthousandsofyearsuntilthelate1800s,whenatomswereeventuallydiscovered.

Atoms,itturnsout,aresmall.

Aboutonemillionatomslinedupsidebysideareasthickasahumanhair.A single grain of sand contains 22 quintillion atoms (that’s 22 with 18zeroes).

AnatomisinsizetoagolfballasagolfballisinsizetoEarth.

Thatsmall.

Butatoms,itwasdiscovered,aremadeupofevensmallerpartscalledprotons,neutrons,andelectrons.Theprotonsandneutronsareinthecenteroftheatom,called the nucleus, which is one-millionth of a billionth of the volume of theatom.

Ifanatomwereblownuptothesizeofastadium,thenucleuswouldbethesizeofagrainofrice,butitwouldweighmorethanthestadium.

Thediscoveriescontinuedastechnologywasdevelopedtosplitthoseparticles,which led to the discovery that those particles are actually made up of evensmallerparticles.Andthentechnologywasdevelopedtosplitthoseparticlesandit was discovered that those particles are actually made up of even smallerparticles.Andthentechnologywasdevelopedtosplitthoseparticles...

Downanddownitwent,smallerandsmaller,furtherandfurtherintothesubatomicworld.

TheBritishphysicistJ.J.Thomsondiscoveredtheelectronin1897,whichledtothediscoveryofanastonishingnumberofnewparticlesoverthenextfewyears,frombosonsandhadronsandbaryonsandneutrinos

tomesonsandleptonsandpionsandhyperonsandtaus.

Gluonswerediscovered,whichholdparticlestogether,alongwithquarks,whichcomeinavarietyoftypes—thereareupquarksanddownquarksandtopquarksandbottomquarksandcharmedquarksand,ofcourse,strangequarks.

When an inconceivably small particle called a muon was identified, thelegendaryphysicistIsaacRabiisknownforsaying,“Whoorderedthat?”

By now somewhere around 150 subatomic particles have been identified,with new technology and research constantly emerging, the most impressiveexampleofthishappeningatafacilityknownbytheacronymCERN,whichisneartheSwiss–Frenchborder.WorkersatCERN,aninternationalcollaborationofalmosteightthousandscientistsandseveralthousandemployees,havebuiltasixteen-milecirculartunnelonehundredmetersbelowEarth’ssurfacecalledtheLargeHadronCollider (LHC).At theLHC they fire twobeamsat eachother,each with 3.5 trillion volts, hoping that in the ensuing collision particles willemergethathaven’tbeenstudiedyet.

Physicists have talked with straight faces for years about how with thisunprecedented level of energy and equipment and billions of dollars and thebrightest scientificminds in theworldworking together theymight be able tofinallydiscoverthatincrediblyimportant,terriblyelusiveparticlecalledthe...

HiggsBoson.

(Whichtheydid.Goahead,Googleit.It’sincredible.Evenifitsoundslikethename of a southern politician.) Now, the staggeringly tiny size of atoms andsubatomicparticlesishardtogetone’smindaround,butit’swhattheseparticlesdothatforcesustoconfrontourmostbasicassumptionsabouttheuniverse.

Manypopular imagesofanatom leadus to think that it’s likea solar system,withtheprotonsandneutronsinthecenterlikethesunandtheelectronsorbitinginapatharoundthecenterasourplanetorbitsthesun.

Butthoseearlypioneeringscientistslearnedthatthisisnothowthingsactuallyare.What they learned is thatelectronsdon’torbit thenucleus inacontinuousand consistent manner; what they do is disappear in one place and thenappearinanotherplacewithouttravelingthedistanceinbetween.

Particlesvanishandthenshowupsomewhereelse,leapingfromonelocationtoanother,withnowaytopredictwhenorwheretheywillcomeorgo.

NielsBohrwasoneofthefirsttocometotermswiththisstrangenewworldthatwas being uncovered, calling these movements quantum leaps. Pioneeringquantumphysicistsrealizedthatparticlesareconstantlyinmotion,exploringallof thepossiblepaths frompointA topointBat the same time. They’resimultaneouslyeverywhereandnowhere.

Agivenelectronnotonly travelsallof thepossible routes fromA toB,but itrevealswhichpath it tookonlywhen it’sobserved.Electrons exist inwhat arecalledghoststates,exploringallofthepossibleroutestheycouldtake,untiltheyareobserved,atwhichpointallofthosepossibilitiescollapseintotheonetheyactuallytake.

Everstoodonasidewalkinfrontofastorewindowandseenyourreflectionintheglass?Youcouldseetheitemsinthedisplaywindow,butyoucouldalsoseeyourself,asifinafuzzymirror.Someofthelightparticlesfromthesun(calledphotons)went throughtheglass, illuminatingwhatever itwas thatcaughtyoureye. Some of the particles from the sun didn’t pass through the glass butessentiallybouncedoffit,allowingyoutoseeyourreflection.Whydidacertainparticlegothroughtheglass,andacertainotherparticlenot?

Itcan’tbepredicted.

Someparticlespassthroughtheglass;somedon’t.

Youcandeterminepossibilities,youcanlistallkindsofpotentialoutcomes,butintheend,that’sthebestthatcanbedone.

ThephysicistWernerHeisenbergwasthefirsttonamethisdisturbingtruthaboutthequantumworld:youcanmeasureaparticle’slocation,oryoucanmeasureitsspeed, but you can’t measure both. Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, alongwith breakthroughs from Max Planck and many others, raised countlessquestionsabouttheunpredictabilityoftheuniverseonasmallscale.

Asmoreandmorephysicistsspentmoreandmoretimeobservingtheuniverseonthisincrediblysmallscale,moretruthsbegantoemergethatwesimplydon’thavecategoriesfor,anexcellentexampleofthisbeingthenatureoflight.

Lightistheonlyconstant,unchangingreality—allthatcurvingandbendingandshiftinghappensincontrasttolight,whichkeepsitsunflappable,steadycourseregardless of the conditions. But that doesn’t mean it’s free from some trulymind-bendingbehavior.Because things innatureareeitherwavesorparticles.There aredustparticles and soundwaves,waves in theoceanandparticlesoffood caught in your friend’s beard. That’s been conventional wisdom for anumberofyears.

Particlesandwaves.Oneortheother.Particlesarelikebullets;wavesarespreadout.Particlescanbeonlyinspecificlocations;wavescanbeeverywhere.Particlescan’tbedivided;wavescan.Butthenthere’slight.

Lightismadeupofparticles.Lightisawave.

If you ask light a wave question, it responds as a wave. Ask light a particlequestion,anditrevealsitselftobeparticles.Twomutually exclusive things, things thathavealwaysbeenunderstood tobeeither/or,turnedouttobeboth.Atthesametime.

NielsBohrwasthefirsttonamethis,in1926,callingitcomplementarity.

Complementarity, the truth that something can be two different things at thesame time, leads us to another phenomenon, one far more bizarre, calledentanglement.

Communicationasweunderstanditalwaysinvolvesasignalofsomesort—yourvoice, a telephone, a wire, a radio wave, a frequency, a pulse—something totransmitwhateveritisfromoneplacetoanother.Notsointhesubatomicrealm,whereparticlesconsistentlyshowthatthey’recommunicatingwithoneanotherwithnosignalinvolved.WolfgangPauliidentifiedthistrulysurrealpropertyofsubatomic particles in 1925 with his exclusion principle. Pairs of quantumparticles,itwasdiscovered,demonstrateanawarenessofwhattheotherisdoingafterthey’vebeenseparated.Withoutanykindofsignal.

Theuniverseinitssmallnesspresentsuswitharealitywesimplydon’thaveanyframe of reference for: A single electron can do forty-seven thousand lapsaroundafour-miletunnel—inonesecond.

Protonslivetenthousandbillionbillionbillionyears,whilemuonsgenerallyliveabouttwomicroseconds—andthenthey’regone.

Ifyou’resitting inachair thatspinsandI turnyouaround, Ihave to turnyou360 degrees to get you facing the same direction again. Electrons have beendiscoveredthatdon’treturntothefrontafterbeingspun360degreesonce;forthattohappenyouhavetospinthemtwice.

Imagineplayingtennisanddiscoveringthatsometimesyouwereabletohittheballwithyourracquet,andothertimestheballwentthroughyourracquetasifthere were no webbing. You would immediately assume that there was somereason for this unexpected behavior of the ball and the racquet, and so youwouldworktofigureoutwhythiswashappening.You’dtakeintoaccountspeedandforceandthecharacteristicsofthevariousmaterials:plasticandrubberandmetal. All under the assumption that there was an explanation for the ball’saction.You’d apply basic laws of physics andmotion, and you’d think aboutsimilarcircumstancesinvolvingsimilarspeedsandsizesandshapes.

You’dbedoingwhatscientistshavebeendoingforalongtime:operatingundertheassumptionthattheuniversefunctionsaccordingtoparticularlawsofmotionthatcanbeknown.

Butinthesubatomicworld,thingscomeandgo,disappearandappear,spinandleapandcommunicateanddemonstrateawarenessofeachother,allwithoutappearingtopayanyattentiontohowtheworldissupposedtowork.

NielsBohrsaidthatanyonewhowasn’toutragedonfirsthearingaboutquantumtheorydidn’tunderstandwhatwasbeingsaid.

It’simportanttopausehereandmakeitclearthatquantumtheoryisresponsibleforeverythingfromX-raysandMRImachinesandsuperconductingmagnets,tolasersandfiberopticsandthetransistorsthatarethebackboneofelectronics,tocomputers. It’s staggering just howmany features of themodernworld asweknow it come from the contributions of quantum theory. The Nobel Laureatephysicist Leon Lederman and the theoretical physicist Christopher Hill ofFermilabbelievethatquantumtheoryisarguablythemostsuccessfultheoryin

thehistoryofscience.

Whichisallratherinteresting,ofcourse,butI’massumingbynowthatyouhaveaquestion,somethingalongthelinesofWhatdoesanyof thishavetodowithwhatwetalkaboutwhenwetalkaboutGod?

Excellentquestion.

Threeresponses,then,beginningwithenergy,andthenmovingtoinvolvement,andthenabitaboutsurprise.

Energy,involvement,surprise.

Let’sbeginwithyourchair,becauseoddsarethatyou’resittinginachairwhileyoureadorlistentothisbook.It’sprobablymadeofmetalorwood,foam,cloth,maybeleather.Afewnutsandbolts,ascrewortwo,somepaint,perhapssomenylonorplasticaswell.Ifweweretotakethatwoodorsteelorclothandputitunder a high-powered microscope, we would see the basic elements andmoleculesandcompoundsthatcomprisethosematerials.Andifwekeptgoing,farther and farther into those basic materials, we would eventually be at thesubatomiclevel,wherewe’ddiscover that thechair, likeeverythingelse in theuniverse,ismadeofatoms.

Andatoms,itturnsout,are99.9percentemptyspace.

Ifallof theemptyspacewas takenoutofallof theatomsin theuniverse, theuniversewouldfitinasugarcube.

An atom, in the end, is a thing.But a thing that ismade upmostly of emptyspace,which iscommonlybelieved tonotbea thing.Sowhatexactlyareyousittingon?

A chair—a tangible, material, physical object—is made up of particles inmotion,bouncingoffeachother,crashingintoeachother,cominginandoutofexistencebillionsoftimesinbillionthsofasecond,existinginghoststatesandthenchoosingparticularpathsfornoparticular,predictablereason.

Yourchairappearstobesolid,butthatsolidityisabitofanillusion.

Ithasweightandmassandshapeandtexture,andifyoudon’tseeitinthedarkandstubyour toeon it, thatchairwillcauseyour toegreatpain,andyetyourchairisultimatelyarelationshipofenergy—

atoms bonded to each other in a particularway that allows you to sit on thatchairandbesupported.Thingslikechairsandtablesandparkinglotsandplanetsmayappeartobesolid,buttheyareattheircoreendlessfreneticmovementsofenergy.

Italkaboutallofthisredshiftinganddarkmatteranduncertaintyandparticlemovementbecausemostofuswere taught inscienceclass thatours isahard,stable,tangibleworldthatwecanstudyandanalyzebecauseit’sthere,rightinfrontofus,andwecanproveitinalab.

Whichistrue.

Butoftenanotherperspectivecamealongaswell,theonethatdeclaredthatthereisacleardistinctionbetweenthematerialworldandtheimmaterialworld,betweenthephysicalworldandthespiritualworld.

Whatwe’relearningfromscience,however,isthatthatdistinctionisn’tsoclearafterall.

Inotherwords,thelinebetweenmatterandspiritmaynotbealineatall.

In an article about physicists searching for the Higgs Boson, Jeffrey Klugerwrites in TIME magazine that they’re “grappling with something bigger thanmerephysics,something thatdefies themathematicalandbrushesup—at leastfleetingly—againstthespiritual.”

Nowobviouslytherearescientistswhowouldbristleatanysuggestionthatthisfield of study has anything to do with the spiritual, pointing out that it’s notmystical at all but very straightforward science, but for others, brushing upagainst the spiritual is a greatway to put it because the primary essence ofrealityisenergyflow.Things,nomatterhowgreattheirmassisorhowhardorsolidorapparenttheirthingnessis,areultimatelyrelationshipsoflivingenergy.

Thisenergyisn’tdestroyedorcreated—itsimplychangesformasit’sconserved.Ifyou’rereadingthisbookinprintedformonpaperandyouweretoburnit,thesumtotalofthebook’senergywouldnotchange;itwouldsimplygooffandbeotherthingsthanthisbook.

Theamountofactualenergyintheuniversewouldstaythesame.

Andyouwouldn’tfindouthowthebookends.

Now,fromenergy,let’smovetoinvolvement.

In the commonviewof theworldmost of usgrewupwith, therewas a cleardivision between the subject and the object. Think of the stereotype of the

objective scientist, standing cool and detached behind a glass wall, jottingobservations onto a clipboard about whatever it is being studied. There isnothingwrongwiththisimage;infact,weowethiskindofthinkingandpracticeahugedebt for the stunningarrayof technologiesand inventionsand luxurieswebenefitfromeveryday.

Somebody figured out how to fit a thousand songs in our pocket.Well donethere.

Butthisimageofdetachment,standingbackatadistance,watching and examining and analyzing things from a perceived place ofnoninvolvement,livesoninanumberofwaysthataren’ttrue.

Atthequantumlevel,toobservetheatomistoaffectit.Theparticleisacloudofpossibilities until it’s observed, and then it chooses a particular path. Thequestionyouasklightdetermineswhetheritwillanswerasawaveoraparticle.

Intheviewmanyhavebeentaught,theworldisoutthere,stationaryandunmoved,unaffectedbyus.Butinthequantumworld,observingchangesthings.

Matterisultimatelyenergy,andourinteractionswithenergyalterrealitybecausewe’re involved,ourworldan interconnectedwebof relationshipswithnothingisolated,alone,orunaffected.

Evenwhenthereisanactualglasswall—ashelpfulandaccurateastraditionalscientificunderstandingsare—thereisnoglasswallintheend.

Centraltotheisolated,detached,commonmodernworldviewistheassumption

that things exist in empty space. Us outside, looking in. Studying, analyzing,standingatadistance—observingtheworldthatisoutthereinemptyspace.

But the quantum world teaches us that space is—what’s the best word here?—alive.Particlescanbefoundinwhatappearstobeemptyspace.Theinvisiblesubstance between us and the things and people around us actually containssomething.

We are enmeshed in the world around us, not outside looking in, but insidelooking...inside.

It’sallenergy,andwe’reallinvolved.

Thesetwotruths,theoneaboutenergyandtheoneaboutinvolvement,leadustoathirdtruth,thisoneaboutsurprise.

Yourtoasterdoesn’tdowhatit’ssupposedto.Seriously.

Asthingsheatup,theyregisterdifferentcolors,eachnewcolorrepresentinganincrease in temperature. And so, according to the standard assumptions aboutheatandcorrespondingcolor,yourtoastershouldglowblue.

Butitdoesn’t;itglowsred.

Why?Nooneknows.

Whichparticlewillpassthroughtheglassintheshopwindow,andwhichwillreflectback?Wherewillthatelectrondisappear,andwhenwillitreappear—andwhere?

Wecanpredict,

andwecanidentifypatterns,butatthemostbasiclevel,wedon’tknow.

Theworldsurprisesus.Anditsurprisesscientiststoo,onaregularbasis.

Energy,involvement,andsurprise.

ItalkaboutallofthisbecausewhenpeopleobjecttotheideaofGod,totheideathat there is more beyond our tangible, provable-with-hard-evidenceobservationsandexperiencesoftheworld,theyaren’ttakingtheentireworldintoaccount.Abriefreadingofmodernsciencequitequicklytakesusintoallsortsofinterestingandcompellingplaceswherethemostintelligent,up-to-date,andinformedscientistsareconstantlysurprisedbyjusthowmuchmorethereistotheuniverse.

III.YouDirtyStar,You

Whichleadsustoyou,rightthereinthemiddleofitall.

Actually,weareinthemiddleofitall,withahumanbeing(roughlyametertallonaverage,kidsincluded)halfwaybetweenthelargestsizewecancomprehend,thewidthoftheknownuniverse,andthesmallestsizediscoveredthusfarintheuniverse.

Andyou,youarefascinating.

Youlosefiftytoahundredandfiftystrandsofhairaday,youshedtenbillion

flakesofskinaday,everytwenty-eightdaysyougetcompletelynewskin,andeverynineyearsyourentirebodyisrenewed.

(Thisdeadskinweshedmakesup90percentofhouseholddust.Sofeelfreetovacuummore.)

Andyetyourbody,inthemidstofthisrelentlesssheddinganddyingandchangingandrenewing,continuestoremembertobeyou,strandbystrand,flakebyflake,atombyatom.

Yourbody ismadeupof around seventy-five trillioncells, everyoneof thosecells containing hundreds of thousands ofmolecules with six feet of DNA ineverycellcontainingoverthreebillionlettersofcoding.Thesecellsareapotentblend ofmatter andmemory—bones and hair and blood and teeth and at thesametimepersonalityandessenceandpredispositionsandhabits.

You are an exotic combination of matter and memory, with a fine line inbetween.

Millions of cells, drifting through the universe, assembled and configured andfinely tuned at this second to be you, but inevitably moving on in the nextsecondstobeotherthingsandotherpeople.

Theatomsthatmakeyouyouinthisverysecondmayhaveearlierbeenpartofastork,orMars,oramushroom,orasquid,oracoconut,orOhio,orBuddha,orCher.

Imaginethatyourunclediedandinhiswillheleftyouhisbelovedoldwoodenboat. You love your uncle and out of respect for him you decide that you’regoingtofixuphisoldboat,makingitgoodasnew.Andsoyoustartwith thehull, replacing the old boardswith new ones.But as youwork rebuilding thehull,yourealizethatthedeckneedsreplacingaswell.Andsothenextyear,youremovealloftheboardsonthedeckandreplacethemwithnewones,plankbyplank, until the boat has an entirely new deck. But spending all that timeworkingon thedeckconvincesyou that thehardware isn’t reliable;you’renotsurewhichpieceswouldworkifyouweretoactuallylaunchtheboat,andwhichwould snapwith the slightest strain. And so you set out to replace all of thehardware....Ifyoukeepthisup,atsomepointyouwillhavereplacedtheentireboat,andyetwhenyoutakeyourfriendsout foraride,youwill tell themthatthisistheboatyouruncleleftyouinhiswill.

Theenduringrealityoftheboat,then,isinthepattern,nottheplanks.

The planks come and go, but the pattern remains. You are a pattern, movingthroughtime,constantlychangingandyetpreciselyconsistent.Somehavesaidwe’relike“lightattheendofaspinningstick.”

The basic elements of life are actually quite common—hydrogen, carbon,nitrogen,oxygen,andafewothers.Thedirtbelowus,theskyaboveus,thesun,moon,andstars,we’reallmadeofthesamestuff.

You share over 60 percent of your genes with fruit flies, you share over 90percentofyourgeneswithmice,andyoushare96percentofyourDNAwiththelargeapes.

Sowhenyou read about aging singers or actors or politicianswhoused to bestars—wellyes,ofcoursetheywere...weallusedtobestars.

Oneofmysonsrecentlyhadaloosetooththatwasdrivinghimcrazy.He’dsitatthe tablewhilewe ate dinner, hand in hismouth,moving the tooth back andforth,tryingtoloosenitenoughforittocomeout.Dayafterday,talkingaboutitandfussingwithitandtellingusjusthowbadlyhewantedittocomeout.Andthenitcameout—whilewewereatthebeach.Hestartedjumpingupanddown

inthesand,celebrating,doingoneofthosedancesthatonlyaneleven-year-oldboycando,hoistinghisnow-removedtoothabovehishead,victorious.

Hethenturnedtomeandasked:Ifhe threwit in theocean,wouldhestillgetsomethingfromthetoothfairy?Isaidyes,feelingfreetospeakonbehalfofthetoothfairy,whohappenedtobesittingnexttomeinaswimsuit.

Andsoheranuptothewaterline,cockedhisarmback,andthrewhistoothintotheocean.

I tellyou this storybecauseat somepoint todayyouwilleat.Youwilleat forseveral reasons, chief among them being survival. If you don’t eat, you die,because your body needs food. And food comes from the earth. It’s planted,watered, cultivated, exposed to the sun, and then harvested, transported,prepared, and placed on your plate. Between the sun and the rain and thenutrientsinthesoil,thatfoodreceivedwhatitneededtokeepyoualive.

Atleastforawhile.Becauseatsomepoint,youwilldie.

Yourbodywill thenbeburied in theearth,where itwillgraduallydecomposeuntilitfullyreturnstothesoil,thesamesoilthatprovidedthenutrientsforthefoodtogrowthatkeptyoualive...

Yourbody,whichis65percentwater,comesfromtheearth,issustainedbytheearth,andwillreturntotheearth.

The impulse, then, to throwone’s tooth into theocean isquitesensible,not tomentionpoetic.

We’remadeofdustandwecomefromthestars,we’rebothskinandsoul,bloodandbeing—

at 98.6 degrees continually radiating about 100 watts of energy into oursurroundings,containing7×1018joulesofpotentialenergy,theequivalentof30largehydrogenbombs.

I talk about you like this becausewhen I’m talking about you, I’m talkingabout the paradox at the core of our humanity—thatwe’remade of dustandstarsandenergyandpatternsofplanksandyet,as it’swritten inthePsalms,we’vebeencrownedwithgloryandhonor.

Wearebothlargeandsmall,strongandweak,formidableandfaint,reflectingtheimageofthedivine,andformedfromdust.

Wegetstuckintrafficonedayandfindourselvescursingwithinseconds,whileanother timewesitwitha friendwho’sdyingofcancerandare filledwithanoceanofcompassion.

Theslightestbarbedwordfromacoworkercancauseourbloodtoboil,andyetas a friend comes down the aisle at her wedding our heart feels like it’s athousandmileswide.

Wecaneasilyfindthemostbasicdisciplinesincrediblychallenging,makingusfeel impotent and devoid of willpower, and yet we walk through a buildingdesignedbyamasterarchitect,takinginthelightcomingthroughtheglassandthewaythespaceislaidout,andwefindourselvesaskingoverandoveragain,“Howdidsomeonethinkthisupandthenactuallyseeitthroughtocompletion?”

We’reanexoticblendofawesomeandpathetic,extraordinaryandlame,

bigandsmall.

WehearaboutpeopleclimbingMountEverestblind, andwehear about serialkillersopeningfireinacrowdedtheater,andwe’restillsurprised,becausewe’restillaskingthesameoldquestion:Whatarewemadeof?

Theanswer,ofcourse,isatoms.

You’remadeoftrillionsofatoms.

Thosetrillionsofatomsformmolecules,thosemoleculesformcells,thosecellsformsystems—nervous, immune, limbic, circulatory, digestive,muscular, respiratory, skeletal,tonameafew—andthosesystemseventuallyformafarlarger,morecomplicatedsystemwhichweknowtobeyou.

Thisarrangementthatmakesyouyouresultsfromsomethingcalledhierarchy,inwhicheachcomponentisjoinedtoothersimilarcomponentstoformtogethersomethingnewthatismorecomplex.

Therearemoreatomsthanmolecules,butamoleculeismorecomplexthananatom.Therearemoremoleculesthancells,butacellismorecomplexthanamolecule.And so on up the hierarchy it goes, with increasingly complex levels oforganizationateachhigherlevel.

Eachhigherlevel,then,issmallerinnumber,butgreaterincomplexity.Smaller

inbreadth,butgreaterindepth.

Fromtrillionsofatomstooneyou.

These trillions of atoms are incessantly coming and going, billions of times asecond,allofthemknowingtheirplacewithinthehierarchythatisyou,andyeteverysingleoneofthoseatomsisableatanysecondtoceasebeingyouandjoinanotherhierarchy,takingitsplaceinmakingsomeoneorsomethingelse.

Thistruthabouthierarchyandpartsleadsustosomethingcalledholism.

To explain holism, imagine the best scientists in the world, taking you apart,bone by bone, cell by cell, atom by atom —well, maybe not. That’s fairlygruesome,isn’tit?

Let’strycomingatthisfromadifferentangle:There’sagoodchanceyouhaveanelbow,probablyeventwo.It’syourelbow,andyetwherewouldwefindyouinyourelbow?Anelbowismadeofskinandbonesandbloodandtendons,allof those basic elementsmade of evenmore basic elements that are ultimatelymade of atoms that are constantly coming to and going from you, leaving tomakeotherpeopleandthingsandplacesandmaybeevenotherelbowsonotherpeople.

Allofitraisingthequestion:Sowhereareyouinyourbody?

Yourbodycouldbe takenapartall thewaydownto the lastatom,andyetwewouldneverbegintolocatetheuniqueessencethatweknowtobeyou.Aboneis a bone is a bone; samewith an eye or a tooth or large ears that stick out.They’reeachmadeofthesamematerialthateverythingelseismadeof.Atthesametime,though,iftheybelongtoyou,theyareuniquelyyours.

This isbecause therearedimensions toyouthat transcendtheactualpartsandpiecesthatyourefertoasyourbody—qualitiesandcharacteristicsthatemergeonlyatalarger,collectivelevel,whenallthosepartsareassembledtoformyou.Holismistherealitythatemergesonlywhenallthepartsareputtogetherbut can’t be individually located, labeled, or identified at a smaller,component,partslevel.

Hierarchyisaboutparts,andyourbodyismadeoflotsofthem—206bones,proteins that run into each other a billion times a second, enzymes that do athousandjobsasecond,abrainwithonehundredbillioninterconnectedneurons,eachneuronhavingtenthousandconnectionsandsynapses—andyetyouaremorethanthesumofyourpartsinthesamewaythat

novelsaremorethanjustthewords,songsaremorethanjustthenotes,andboatsaremorethanjusttheplanks.

Holismiswhentwoplustwoequalsinfinity.

Holism is the truth that your consciousness and personality and awarenesscannot be located in your physicality, in the sameway that your identity andthoughtsandfearsandfavoriteicecreamandopinionsaboutJimCarreymoviescan’tbedetectedinyourelboworyournoseoryourpancreas.

Holismisyourawarenessthatyoucannotholdsoulinyourhand.

Holismistheliving,breathingtruththatyou-the-wholearemorethanthesumofyourparts.

Holismisthemysteryattheheartofyourexistence—thefactthatwhateveritisthatmakesyoumostuniquelyyoucannotbemeasuredorassessedorevenfoundinanyconventional,rational,scientificway.

Holism is your sense that there’smoregoingonhere, even though it can’t belocatedinanyoneperson,thing,orevent.

Thesetruthsabouttheholismthatiseachofusleadsustoalargerholism,onethatcontinuestounfoldacrossandoutsideoftimeitself.

Thinkbackhundredsofmillionsofyears ago to themostprimitive life-formsthat existed long before any humans roamed Earth and made fires and hungfuzzydicefromtheirrearviewmirrors.

Wereprimordialbacteriadiscussingwheretheycamefrom?Weresingle-celledheterotrophssingingsongsaboutlove?Were dinosaurs writing poems about their desire to make a difference in theworld?

No,theyweren’t.Theyweren’tbecausedinosaursweren’tawarethattheyweredinosaurs, and algae and bacteria and trees and swamps didn’t have thoughts,andfishdidn’twonderwhybadthingshappentogoodfish.

Obvious,butastonishing.

Consciousness didn’t come until later in creation, with the arrival ofhumans,andprobablynoteveninhumansuntilrelativelyrecentlyinhistory.

Alphabets and written language and poetry and reflection and organizedsocieties and laws and Oprah’s book club and all of the things that make upcivilizationandthoughtandculturecamemuch,muchlaterinhumanhistory.

Youareawarethatyouareyou,whichisaphenomenonthatsimplydidn’texisthereforbillionsofyears.

There is a movement forward, toward greater and greater awareness andconsciousnessandconnectivity,thathasbeenunfoldingacrossthehistoryoftheuniverse, an ever-expanding enlightening that transcends any one of us, allcultures,andhumanityasawhole.Amassiveandepicholismthatcontinuesto

increaseincomplexityanddepthanddimensiontothisveryday.

Sowhyallthistalkabouthierarchyandholism?

Becauseoftenpeoplehaveahardtimebelievingthere’saGodbecausewecan’tseeGod,wedon’thavehardevidence for the existenceofGod, andwedon’thave anyproofwe can studyor analyzeor evaluate in any scientific, tangibleway.

The twist on all of this is that we all agree you exist. You, your elbows andpancreasandsternumaretangibleandabletobemeasuredandevaluatedinverystraightforwardways,butyoursoul?That’sabitmoredifficult tocapture.Letalonemeasureorstudy.

Andyetweallagreethatthere’smoretoyouthanyourphysicalbody.

It’sbeensaidthatthesoulisnakedofallthingsthatbearnames.

AbitlikeGod,becausewhenI’mtalkingaboutGod,I’mtalkingaboutarealityknown, felt, and experienced, but one that cannot be located in any specificphysicalspaceinanytangibleway.

Whenwe talkaboutGod, then,we’re talkingabout somethingveryrealandyetbeyondourconventionalmeansofanalysisanddescription.

The Germans, interestingly enough, have a word for this: they call itgrenzbegrifflich.

Grenzbegrifflich describes that which is very real but is beyond analysis anddescription.WhenI’mtalkingaboutGod,I’mtalkingaboutyourintuitivesensethatrealityatitsdeepestflowsfromtheGodwhoisgrenzbegriff.

Toexplainmore aboutwhatgrenzbegrifflichmeans, I need to talk aboutwhat

happenedwhenIwentskateboardinginNorthCarolinatwentyyearsago.

IV.TheSeaWe’reSwimmingIn

I was visiting my friend Ian in Charlotte, and late one night he took meskateboardingalloverthecity,showingmehisfavoritespotsandembankmentsandparks.Oneoftheplaceshetookmewasaflat,openconcretespacethatsankdown into a large bowl at one end.Hewent first, building up speed and thendropping down into the bowl and skating around the inner rim. I quicklyfollowedhim. (Note to self: skateboarding in thedark in anunfamiliar city inspots you haven’t skated before isn’t always the smartest thing to do.) I wasgoing fasterand fasteras Igotcloser to theedgeof thebowl—which Ididn’treach,atleastonmyboard.WhatIlearnedisthatthisopenspaceusedtobeaparking lot, andwhen they removed those cement curbs that you nudge yourfronttiresupto,theydidn’tremoveoneoftheembeddedironbarsusedtoholdthecurbinplace.Threeinchesofironbar,ahalf-inchwide,stickingupoutofthe concrete. In the dark. Just enough to bring my board to an instant halt,launchingmeSupermanstyleoutandaboveandthendownintothebowl—nine,eight,seven,sixfeettotheconcretebelow.

Itwasthekindofthingfifteen-year-oldboysdiscoveronYouTubeandplayoverandoverandoveragain,laughinghystericallyattheguywhogotlaunchedintothebowl.

Andyes,therewaslotsofblood.

Now,asI tellyouthatstoryyouaren’tsurprised—about thephysicspartof it,thatis—becauseinhighschoolwewerealltaughtthat(everybodytogethernow)anobjectinmotionstaysinmotionunlessactedonbyanoutsideforce.

Weknowthisbecauseinscienceclasswelearnedwhat’scalledaclassicalviewoftheworld,basedonIsaacNewton’smechanicallawsofphysics.Theselawsaresobasictoourthinkingaboutspeedandmotionandmassandmovementthatit’shardforustocomprehendjusthowrevolutionarytheywerewhenNewton’sgroundbreaking bookPrincipia was first published in 1687. At that time, the

reasonthemajorityofpeoplewouldhavegivenastowhytheworldworksthewayitdoesisbecause,well,Godmadeitthatway.

That’sjusthowthingsare;whywouldyouneedanexplanationbeyondthat?

But Newton, Newton didn’t see it that way. Newton insisted that there werepredictable, knowable, rational rules and explanations that govern how theuniverseoperates,causesthatleadtoeffects,andclearconnectionsbetweenthetwo.

(Ifamanistravelingatacertainspeedinacertaindirection,andhehasacertainmassand there isacertainamountof friction involved,andanopposing forceinterruptsthatparticularmotion,themanwilltravelaparticulardistancethroughtheairbeforemakingcontact,face,knees,andwristsfirst,withtheconcreteatacertain speedwith a certain amount of impact force—and a certain amount ofblood.) Newton showed that you could know the speed and position ofsomething because motion was understood to be continuous and consistent.Given enough data about weight and speed and a number of other variables,outcomes could be computed and accurately predicted. This new worldviewbrought with it all kinds of exciting possibilities. Things could be built,engineered, created, and designed by plotting trajectories and paths andmeasuring howmuch opposing forcewould be needed to stop andmove andpushandpullthingsofcertainweightsandcertainspeeds.

Asmoreandmorenaturalexplanationswerediscoveredforwhythingsaretheway theyare, the ideaof a clock,with itsprecisemeasurements andenduringconsistency,replacedtheactionsofthegodsastheprimarywaypeoplebegantounderstandhowtheuniversefunctions.Cogsandwheelsandbuttonsandpulleysbecamepopularimages—withallofthepartsworkingtogetherlikeanefficient,well-calibratedmachine.

Anewwaytoseetheworldarose,onegovernedbypreciseregularity—orderly,exact,predictable.

Alongwiththesenewwaysofconceivingthephysicalworldcamenewwaysofthinkingabouthowweknowwhatweknow.We’veallheardthephrase“Ithink,therefore I am” fromRenéDescartes. It’s so familiar that it’s easy to lose thesense of how groundbreaking it was when he first said it, because for themajorityofpeopleat that timeknowledgewasseenassomething thathumansweregivenbyGodthroughwhat’scalledrevelation.Ifyouaskedhowweknowwhatweknow,thestandardanswerwas,“Godtoldus.”ButDescartesdidn’tseeit thatway.He insisted thatwecanknowwhatweknownotbecauseadivinebeing chose for some reason to reveal it to us but becausewe arrived at thatknowledge through our own reason and logic.Now obviously thiswasn’t thefirsttimeanyoneusedlogicorreason,butashisideacaughton,itwasnewtohave that many people across that wide an array of disciplines and pursuitsembracingsuchanewunderstandingofhowweknowwhatweknow.

That era, called the Golden Age of Certainty, gave birth to what we call thescientificmethod—thetestingandpokingandproddingandexperimentingandexaminingofevidence,therunningofmultipletests,thecomparingofdatafromone trial to another. Insteadof humans as passive recipients of knowledge thegodsdecidedtogivethem,theimageofthescientistemerged,standingoverthesubject, detached and objective, actively making precise observations andarrivingatvalidconclusions.

This explosion of discovery and exploration, also called the Enlightenment,movedhumanhistoryforwardinanastonishingnumberofnewways,outoftheDarkAges andmedievalworld and into a new era of staggering technologiesandknowledgeandbreakthroughs.

ThisEnlightenment leap—thisgoodandneeded leap—handedusanumberofwaysofunderstandingtheworldthathaveworkedonusandinfluencedusforseveralhundredyearsnowinpositiveways.Buttheseunderstandingsalsohavelimits,limitsthatwebecomeacutelyawareofwhenwetalkaboutGod.

Let’s look briefly at two of these limits and how they’ve deeply shaped thebeliefsandpracticesofourmodernworldbeforewemoveon.

First,alimitthataffectshowwefilterknowledge.

Asreasonandlogicbecamemoreandmoreprominent,otherwaysofknowingbecamelessemphasized.Iftheonlywayweknowthingsisthroughthetestingandpokingandproddingofthescientificmethod,whathappenswhenweknowsomething in a way that bypasses those particular tests and processes? Doeseverythingyouknowhavetobeabletobeprovenintellectually?

Inthelab,forsomethingtobevalidithastobeprovenrepeatablyandrepeatedlythroughmultipletestsandexperiments.Therehastobedemonstrableevidence.Butwhataboutthosethingsthatyouabsolutely,positivelyknowtobetruebutwouldbehard-pressedtoproduceevidenceforifasked?

Explainhowthatparticularsongmovesyou.Articulatewhyyoufellinlovewiththatperson.Providedatafor themanner inwhich thatmealwith thosefriendsmadeyoursoulsoar.

Most of the things in life we’re most sure of, many of those events andexperiences that aremore real to us than anything else, lots of sensationswehave no doubt actually happened—these are thingswe cannot provewith anydegreeofscientificvalidity.

Whichleadsustoacrucialtruth:thereareotherwaysofknowingthanonlythoseoftheintellect.

In the lab,wecan standobjectivelyover the subject, testingand retestingandexamining,filteringthedatathroughthelensofrationalrepeatability.

Butoutsidethelab,inthecourseofourveryreallives,someexperiencesactonus.Weengagewiththempassivelyastheyhappentous.

They seize us and capture us andwoo us and abduct us.We don’t stand overthem;theyjumpusinadarkalleyandpinustothegroundandwon’tletusgo.

Wearewaytoocomplex,

andsoistheworld—toomuchsurprise,toomanypossibilities,toomuchthatdefiesourlimitedlogicalcategories—tofiteverythingthroughthenarrowfilterofreasonalone.

We’re like fish, swimming in the rational waters of the Enlightenment,disconnected fromanumberof otherwaysweknowand feel and experience.We’vebeenswimminginthissea,enjoyingitandbenefitingfromit,butslowlyrealizing that it hasn’t been totally good for us. The intellect has a way ofbuildingafencearoundtheheart,cuttingusofffromwhatweknowtobetrueinawaythatishardtoproveaccordingtothecategoriesinwhichproofmatters.IntheEnlightenmentseawelearnedhowtograsp,howtocontrol,howtomasterwhateverit iswe’restudying.We’vestoodbehindtheglasswallandmadetheappropriateobservations.

Butwe’vebeenaroundforonly.0001percentofEarth’shistory,97percentofEarth’sspeciesstillhaven’tbeendiscovered,andalloftheboneswe’vedugupfromourearliestancestorscould fit in thebackofapickup.We’resimplynotthemasterswe’vebeentoldweare.

In thewordsofSorenSolari,whohasaPhD in integrativeneuroscience,“It’sfuntospeculateaboutexactlywhat’sgoingoninourbrainswhenwesurf,buttherealitytodayisthatwedon’tknow.”

Second,fromnarrowfilters,let’sturntoalimitthat’sbeenworkingonusoverthepastseveralhundredyears,thisoneaboutpartsandwholes.

Imagine how earth-shattering it was for people to learn that the sun does notrevolvearoundEarthorthatvolcanoeseruptforreasonsotherthandivineangeror that canyonswere formed by natural causes rather than thework of really,really largehandsor thatourplanet isnot restingon turtlesall thewaydown.Mind-blowing.Asmoreandmorerational, logicalexplanationsweregivenforhowthenaturalworldworks, theprevioussupernatural,magical,andmythicalexplanations became more and more irrelevant. It turned out that lots ofphenomena weren’t as mysterious as everybody had assumed they were for

thousands of years. This burgeoning scientific knowledge led to the growingquestion, If this can be explained in a very straightforward, logical way, canthat?Orthat?Orthat?What’stosaythat,givenenoughtime,wewon’tfigureitallout?

These questions led to even bigger questions, which turned into assumptions,which eventually evolved into beliefs, all beginning with the question: Caneverythingultimatelybeexplainedwithoutanysupernatural,magical/mythical,divinecauses?

As these questions and assumptions haveworked on us and influenced us forseveralhundredyears,they’veledtothebeliefamonglotsandlotsofeducated,intelligent people that given enough time, we’ll arrive at explanations foreverything.Whateveritisthatisamysterytousnow,givenenoughtimewe’llbeable toreduce it to itspartsandunderstand it throughverystraightforward,rational,logicalexplanations.

Andthatbeliefrestsonanevendeeperfaith—areally,reallysignificantone:ifeverythingcanbeexplainedwithoutanyoutside,supernatural,ordivinefactors,thentheuniverseisultimatelythesumofitsparts.

This belief system is based on reduction, and it holds tightly to the faith thatgivenenoughtimewe’llhavealltheanswers,andmystery,likeElvis,willhaveleftthebuilding.

Getwhateveritisdowntoitstiniestpieces,andyou’llgetwhateveranswersyou’relookingfor...because,intheend,thingsarewhattheyare,nomore,andnoless.

Newton’sworkpointed toa rational, reductionisticworld,onewhere therearecauses that lead to predictable results. A world where matter is stable andconsistent,alloftheindependentpartsfunctioningtogethertoformthewhole.

Aworldwhereallthereisis,intheend,allthereis.

ButwhenI’mtalkingaboutGod,I’mtalkingaboutthedivinebeingwhocan’tbe located tangibly with the kind of evidence that the rationalism ofreductionism demands in the same way that you cannot be located in youreyelashesorspineorshoulder.

Which takes us back to faith, because when someone says that we don’tunderstandsomethingfullyrightnowbutwewillgivenenoughtime,thatis,ofcourse,abelief.That’sfaith.Wearen’tatthatpointtalkingaboutpeopleoffaithversus people of science;we’re talking aboutall people of faith, just faith indifferentthings.

Once again, we’re like fish, swimming in the sea of the Enlightenment,benefiting greatly from endless advancements and yet limited at times by thenarrowfiltersoftheintellectandthediminishingreductionismthatinsiststhisisallthereis.

Speaking of fish, this leads us to another dimension of the God who isgrenzbegriff,adimensioninvolvinglotsofbumperstickers.

HaveyouseenthatstickersomeChristiansputontheircars,theoneshapedlikeafish?Thatcomesfromafirst-centurytraditionofChristianscarvingorpaintingthe faith symbol somewhereon theirhomeorbusiness to letothersknow thattheywerefollowersofJesus.Great.Butthenothers,inresponsetothissticker,putanotherstickerontheirbumper,thisonethesameshapeasthefishsticker,butwithlegsandatailand(inthemiddleofthefish)theword“evolve.”Nice.This sticker is about evolution,which theownerof the carmistakenly sees assomethingthatisfundamentallyagainsttheJesussticker.I’veactuallyseencarbumperswiththeevolvestickerupsidedownwiththeJesusstickerontopofit—asortof“Ohyeah,twocanplaythatgame”gesture.

Andsothebattleofthebumpersgoeson,allofitamassiveexerciseinmissingthepoint.

Thepointbeinghierarchyandholism.

Fossilevidenceandcarbondatingandexplorationanddiscoveryarecentral tothe endless human desire for answers. New theories arise; they’re proven,tweaked, adjusted; and sometimes a better theory comes along to replace onethathasprovenholesinit—that’sthescientificprocess.It’smagnificentatlowerlevels of hierarchy, helping us understand neurons and rocks and oceans andspecies.

Butitfailsathigherlevelsofhierarchywhenweencounterholism.

Science does an excellent job of tellingmewhy I don’t have a tail, but itcan’texplainwhyIfindthatinteresting.

Scienceshineswhendealingwithpartsandpieces,butitdoesn’tdoallthatwellwithsoul.

Itcandoabrilliantjobofexplaininghowweandotherspecieshaveadaptedandevolved,butitfallsshortwhenitcomestowherethereverencehummingwithinuscomesfrom.

WhenI’mtalkingaboutGod,I’mtalkingaboutthegrenzbegriffkindoffaiththatseesscienceandfaithas thedancepartners they’vealwaysbeen,eachguidingandinformingtheother,bringingmuch-neededinformationandinsighttotheirrespectivelevelsofhierarchy.Toseethematoddswitheachotheristoconfusethe levels of hierarchy, resulting in all sorts of needless debates,misunderstandings,andterriblebumperstickers.

IsayallofthisaboutscienceandfaithbecausewhenI’mtalkingaboutGod,I’mtalkingabout thesourceofall truth,whatever labels itwears,whoeversays it,andwhereverit’sfound—fromalabtoacathedraltoapubtoMars.

Thisisimportant,becauseformanyinourworld,somewherealongthewayrealitygotdividedupintothesecularandthesacred,thereligiousandtheregular,

theholyandthecommon—theunderstandingbeingthatyou’retalkingabouteitheroneortheotherbutnotbothatthesametime.

Thisdis-integratedunderstandingofreality—theonethatputsGodononesideandnottheother,theonethatdividestheworldupintotworealms—it’slethal,anditcutsusofffromthedepthsandseparatesusfromthesource.

Becausesometimesyouneedabiologist,andsometimesyouneedapoet.Sometimesyouneedascientist,andsometimesyouneedasong.

So, there’s abit aboutyouand theuniverse, and theGodwho isgrenzbegriff.Now,towrapthischapterup,let’sgotoBoston.

AfewyearsagoIwasspeakinginthatfinecity,andafterwardawomantoldmeaboutthetimeshehadbeeninthehospitalforongoingcancertreatment,lyinginbedthinkingthatshewasn’tgoingtomakeit.Sheremembersbeinglowerthanshe’d ever beenbefore, filledwithdespair,wondering if shewasgoing todiesoon,whenthenight-shiftnurseenteredherroomandbegantolovinglycareforher. Throughout the night the nurse returned repeatedly, checking on her andcalmingherandreassuringherandspeakingtoherinawaythatliftedherentirebeingandgaveherhope. In themorning, shewokeup feeling likeadifferentperson.Shethenaskedthemorningnurseforthenameofthewomanwhohadbeencaringforher,givingadetaileddescription.

Thenursesaid thatnoonewhofit thatdescriptionworkedonthatfloorof thehospital,nottomentionthenightbeforeinthiswoman’sroom.

Whatdoyoudowiththatstory?

As a pastor, I’ve heard countless stories like this one over the years. Peoplesittingattheirkitchentable,realizingthattheydon’thaveenoughmoneytobuygroceries, when the doorbell rings and they open the door to find their frontporchfilledwithbagsoffood.Reallystrange,odd,surrealsortsofstories.Someofthemcanbeattributedtobasiccoincidence,butovertheyearsI’veheardtonsof them—and not just from really zealous religious people who carry largeBibles with their names engraved on the covers, but also from educated,somewhatcynicalpeoplewithPhDswhoowncompaniesandhaveexpertiseinfieldssotechnicalIbarelyunderstandwhatitistheydoallday.

Nowsomepeoplehearastoryaboutthewomaninthehospitalandimmediatelysay,“Yes,ofcourse!Thatwasanangeltakingcareofher!They’reallaroundus,watchingover us andguidingus andprotectingus,” and then theyproceed toquoteversesfromtheBiblewhiletellingtheirangelstories.

Othershearpeople responding like thisand roll their eyes,dismissing it all ascrazy talk thatbelongs in the samecategoryas talkofdemonsand spirits andblindpeoplesuddenlyseeing.Theyarequick topointout thatnoonehasanyproof of such things and that it’s superstitious ideas like these from earlier,mythologicalreligionthat,ifleftunchecked,leadtowarsandignoranceandallsortsofreallybadreligiousshowsoncabletelevision.

Onesays,“Ofcourseshewasanangel!”Theothersays,equallyemphatically,“Angelsdon’texist!”

I’llneverforgettheconversationIhadwithabrilliant,well-knownwomanabouttheresurrectionofJesus,whichshedismissedasfantasyalongwith“allofthosebeliefsinthingsthatdon’thappen.”Shespeaksforuntoldmasseswhocheckoutassoonas thediscussionturns topeoplebeingswallowedbyfishandwalkingonwaterand,ofcourse,risingfromthedead.

Thereis,however,aproblemwithdecisivelydismissingallmiraclesoutofhand,andthatproblemissubatomicparticles,which,we’velearned,disappearinoneplace and appear in another placewithout traveling the distance in between.

Strange thingsdohappen, thingswithnoprecedent andno explanation, everysingledayandeverysinglemoment,billionsandbillionsoftimesasecond,allaround us, in our bodies. Time is bendy and curvy and not consistent, theuniverseiscurved,andifEarthwereslightlyclosertothesunwe’dallcookandifitwereslightlyfartherawaywe’dallfreeze.

It’sall—let’suseaveryspecificwordhere—miraculous.You,me,love,quarks,sex,chocolate,thespeedoflight—it’sallmiraculous,anditalwayshasbeen.

Whenpeopleargue for theexistenceofasupernaturalGodwho is somewhereelseandreachesinonoccasiontodoamiracleortwo,they’reskippingovertheveryworldthatsurroundsusandcoursesthroughourveinsandlightsuptheskyrighthere,rightnow.

Weliveinavery,veryweirduniverse.Onethatisroughly96percentunknown.

ItellyouthisstoryaboutthewomaninthehospitalbecausewhenItalkabouttheGodwhoisgrenzbegriff,I’mtalkingaboutthekindofintellectuallyhonestfaiththatisopen-mindedenoughtoadmitthatsomephenomenahavenorationalexplanation.

To be closed-minded to anything that does not fit within predetermined andagreed-uponcategoriesistodenyourveryrealexperiencesoftheworld.We’rehere, this is real, subatomic particles travel all possible paths and then chooseone when observed, and there is no precedent for such a thing. This is notavoiding important things like evidence and proof and logic; this is the tacitacknowledgmentthatsomeevents,experiences,andtruthssimplyexistoutsideofthoseparticularcategories.

Which leads to one last thought, one about being open-minded. In our worldtoday, we often hear people talk about being open-minded and about howreligioncanbestiflingbecauseofhowclosed-mindeditcanbe.

Nowit’s true that religioncan leadpeople tobe incrediblyclosed-minded,butthetermsopen-mindedandclosed-mindedaren’tusuallyappliedaccurately.To

believe that this is all there is and we are simply collections of neurons andatoms—that’sbeingclosedtoanythingbeyondthatparticularsizeandscopeofreality.

Buttobelievethatthere’smoregoingonhere,thattheremayberealitybeyondwhatwecancomprehend—that’ssomethingelse.

That’sbeingopen.

CHAPTER3

BOTH

Now thatwe’ve explored a bit about the kind of universewe’re living in andhowwethinkaboutthinkingabouthowweknowwhatweknow,we’lltalkjustforabitabouthowwetalkwhenwetalkaboutGod.

HaveyoueverheardsomeoneconfidentlyassertingthisorthataboutGoddowntothemoststrikingandexactdetailandthought,“Whois thispersontoknowthat?”Ormaybe itwas theopposite—haveyou ever heard someonegoingonandonwithgreatconvictionabouthowit’salljustagiantcosmichairballandhowcouldanyhumaneverclaimtoactuallyknowanythingaboutGod?

In theonecase, itwas thespeaker’scertainty thatwasunnerving; in theothercase,itwastoomuchambiguitythatdidn’tsitwellwithyou.

But inbothcases,whatwesee is the importanceofunderstanding that there’swhatyou’resaying,andthenthere’showyou’resayingit...

Let’ssaythatyouworkinalargeoffice,andonedayyoucomebackfromlunchand there’s a group of people gathered around the cubicle three down fromyours, which belongs to Sheila from accounts payable. You wander over andlearn that Sheila’s boyfriend Simon has just proposed to her during a picniclunch in a nearby park and she said yes. Everybody is happy for Sheila andthey’retakingturnsexaminingherringandSheilacan’tstopsmiling,andsoyouaskher,“Sheila,tellusaboutSimon.”

AndsoSheilastarts in:“Well,he’s five-foot-ten,hedrivesaToyota,hewearssizenineandahalfshoes,andhewasborninKentuckyandhe’sleft-handedand

he’sinaTuesdaynightbowlingleagueandhedoesn’tlikemayonnaise...”

At some pointwhile Sheila is telling you about Simon you probably think toyourself,“Thisisstrange.”

YouthinkthisnotbecauseSheilaislyingoravoidingthequestionordistortingthetruth,butpreciselybecausesheistellingthetruthaboutSimon, things thatcan be objectively proven to be true. It’s just that women who have gottenengaged an hour earlier don’t usually feel the need to tell youwhether or nottheirmanlikesmayonnaise.

Or let’s say your car ismaking a loud ticking noise and so you take it to therepair shop.Amechanic looks under the hood, takes it for a drive around theblock,andthencomesouttothewaitingroomandtellsyouthatthecar“isinabadmood—it’sclearlygotsomeissuesitneedstoworkout.”

This isnothelpful,becauseyouwant toknowexactlywhat iswrongwith thecar, exactlywhat replacementparts areneeded,how long itwill take to fix it,andhowmuchit’sgoingtocost.

Orlet’ssayyou’rehavingopen-heartsurgery,lyingthereonthetablewithyourribcagespreadopen,andyouhearthesurgeonsaytooneofthenurses,“Hey,gimme one of those scalpels over there—how about a feisty one with someattitude?”

Aside from the obvious question, “You’re awake during open-heart surgery?”whywoulditdisturbyoutohearthedoctortalklikethis?Becauseyouwanttoknowthatthesurgeonknowsexactlywhatscalpelsheneedstodothework;youwanttohearheraskforthe“RQ8F7double-edgedIncisotron”orsomethinglikethat.

Thereare,it’simportanttonote,differentkindsoflanguage.

There is technical,precise language, thekind that surgeonsandcarmechanicsuse tobeasobjectiveaspossible innamingexactlywhat iswrong,describing

preciselywhat is needed, or accurately listing steps andprocedureswith greatcareanddefinition,asinthisonlinediscussionabouttransistormodules:ThepartmarkedK2313isametal-oxide-semiconductorfield-effecttransistor[;]...avoltageontheoxide-insulatedgateelectrodecaninduceaconductingchannelbetweenthetwoothercontactscalledsourceanddrain.ItisaToshiba2SK2313...

Clear,unambiguous,withaslittleaspossiblethatcouldleadsomebodytothinkyouweretalkingaboutsomethingelse.Weuselanguagelikethisinthousandsofwayseverydaybecausewithoutit,wewouldn’tgettherightdosesofmedicine,planes couldn’t take off and land, and we wouldn’t know which transistormoduletouse.

ButwhenSheila’sgoingonaboutSimon,tellingyoufactsandtruthsandbeingquite precise about exactly how tall he is andwhere hewas born, somethingdoesn’t feel right, because you were expecting Sheila to say something lesstechnicalandfactualandliteralandmorefigurativeandpoetic—somethinglike,“IfeellikeIfinallyfoundmyotherhalf.”

Technicallanguagehaslimits.Itcandescribesomethingsverywell,butinothersituations,likelove,itfallsflat.It’sinadequate.Itfails.

Whenwe’rebetrayed,wesayitfeelslikewe’vebeenkickedinthestomach.

Whenourchildtakesherfirststeps,wesaythatwe’reoverthemoon.

WhentheDJplaysjusttherightmusic,wesaysheblewtheroofofftheplace.

Nowthe truth is,weweren’tkicked in thestomach.Wearen’tover themoon;we’rerighthere.Andtheroofisstillfirmlyonthebuilding.

Intenseexperiencesandextremesituations—likegreatpainandanguish,orunspeakablejoyandecstasy—need extreme, large, giantesque language because other kinds of words andphrasesaren’tenough.

Language is flexible, fluid, able to twist andmorph in vast and varied ways.There are rants and poems andmetaphors and parodies and stories and fablesandanalogiesandsimilesandhaiku(rememberthose?)andinstructionmanualsandpalindromes...WhenJay-Zraps,

I’mnotabusinessman,I’mabusiness,man

he’sdoingsomethingreallypowerfulwithacomma,usingittoevokemeaningandhistoryandpower.Andit’sfunny.

Allwithtwolinesthatarevirtuallyidentical.

Whenthatoldsongbegins,

SometimesIfeellikeamotherlesschild...

weallknowthattobealive,youhavetohavebeenbornfromanactualmother.Butthereisapainthatcomesfromhavingamotherbutnothavingamother,thehauntingacheofabandonment,thefeelingofdistancefromtheprimal,nurturingembraceweknowtobe“mom.”

Allthat,inthefirstlineofthesong.

When George Mallory was asked why he climbed Mt. Everest, he replied,“Becauseit’sthere.”

Languagesoarsanddipsandsometimesgetsright to thepointandother timesgoesonandonandonwithflourishandflair.Sometimesitdescribesaccuratelyandcompletelycomplexanddetailedconceptsandmechanismsandprocesses,andothertimeslanguagejustisn’tenough.

RecentlymyfamilyandIwereinthecarwhenafriendcalledtotellusthatthefather of one ofmy son’s friends had just killed himself. Every day for threeyearsI’dseenthatdadwhenIpickedmykidsupafterschool;we’dtalkedintheparking lot and on the sidelines of the football field and in our front yards

countlesstimes.Andthenhewasgone.

Sometimestherearen’twords.Sometimessentencesandphrasescan’tdothemomentjustice.Sometimeslanguagefails,andyou’respeechless.

SowhenwetalkaboutGodwe’reusinglanguage,languagethatemploysavast array of words and phrases and forms to describe a reality that isfundamentallybeyondwordsandphrasesandforms.

In the biblical book of Exodus,Moses is told to hide along a section of rockbecauseGodisgoingtopassbyandMosesisgoingtogettoseeGod’sback.Inoneancientcommentaryonthisstory,thebestMosesgetsisaglimpseofwhereGod just was. This same Moses reminds the Hebrews that when theyexperiencedGod, they “sawno formof any kind.” In theNewTestament it’swrittenthatGodistheone“whodwellsinunapproachablelight,whomnoonehasseenorcansee.”

TherearelimitstocertaintybecauseGod,it’srepeatedagainandagain,isspirit.Andspirithasnoshapeorform.Spirit,Jesussaid,islikethewind.Itcomesandgoesandblowswhereitpleases.

WordsandimagespointustoGod;theyhelpusunderstandthedivine,buttheyarenotGod.

Forexample,gender.

Intheancientworld,itwasobservedthatawomanbecamepregnantonlywhenshe’d been with a man. It was assumed, then, based on primitive, limitedunderstandingsofbiology,thattheman’scontributionmustbetheessenceofthelifeforceandawoman’stheplacewherethatlifeforcewascarriedandheldandnurtured.God,itwasbelieved,wasthelifeforceoftheworld,soGodmustbelikeafather.

Or take early agricultural settings, where women used hoes to break up thegroundforplanting.Womeninthosecultureswereresponsibleforputtingfoodonthetable,andsothegodsinthoseculturesweregenerallyunderstoodtobefemale.Butthentheplowwasinvented,whichwaspulledbyananimal.Whenwomen used this new invention, it required significantlymore physical effort,andasaresultmiscarriageratesincreased.Somentookoverworkingtheplow,whichledtothegodsbeingperceivedasmale.

TheseformsandexpressionscomeandgoovertimebecauseourconceptionsofGodandtheimagesweusetopictureandexplainthoseconceptionsaredeeplyshapedbythepatterns,technologies,andcustomsoftheworldwelivein.

And so there are masculine images of God—Jesus prayed to his “Father inheaven”—andtherearefeminineimagesofGod—theprophetIsaiahquotesGodsaying,“Canamotherforgetthebabyatherbreastandhavenocompassiononthechildshehasborne?Thoughshemayforget,Iwillnotforgetyou!”

WhenGodisdescribedasfatherormotherorjudgeorpotterorrockorfortressorwarriororrefugeorstrengthorfriendorlawgiver,thosewritersaretakingsomethingthey’veseen,somethingthey’veexperienced,andthey’reessentiallysaying,“Godislikethat.”

It’sanattempttoputthatwhichisbeyondlanguageintoaframeorformwecan

grasp.

AnimageofGoddoesn’tcontainGod,in the sameway aword aboutGodor a doctrine or a dogma aboutGod isn’tGod;itonlypointstoGod.

Whateverwe say aboutGod always restswithin the larger reality ofwhatwecan’tsay;meaningalwaysresideswithinalargermystery;knowingalwaystakesplacewithinunknowing;whateverhasbeen revealed tous surroundedby thatwhichhasn’tbeenrevealedtous.

Whenyouhearaboutateenagegirlbeingkidnappedandsoldintothesextrade,itmakesyoureally, reallyangry,correct? Itbreaksyourheart, right?Andyouknowit:youknowthatit’swrong,evil,corrupt,vile,andviolatingtoallofusinsomeway.

You’resureofit.

IknowamannamedCharliewhoisinhislatefifties.Whenhewasfifty-five,heandhiswifeKimbecamedeeplygrievedbyhowmanyorphansthereareintheworld.Andsotheystartedadoptingkidsfromallovertheglobe.Theycurrentlyhavefivechildrenandthey’re in theprocessofadoptingtwomore.Whenyousee their family coming, it’s like a mini United Nations. There is somethingtangiblydivineaboutwhatthey’redoing.

Wedoknowthings—weknowthemwitheveryfiberinourbeing—they’rerevealedtous,theyseizeusandtheywon’tletusgo.Theyhauntus,theycaptureus,theyplantthemselvesdeepinourheartsandtheydon’tleave.

SowhenwetalkaboutGod,we’re talking about our brushes with spirit, our awareness of the reverence

hummingwithinus,oursenseofthenearnessandthefarness,thatwhichweknowandthatwhichisunknown,thatwhichwecantalkaboutandthatwhicheludesthegraspofourwords,thatwhichiscrystal-clearandthatwhichismoremysteriousthanever.

Andsometimeslanguagehelps,andsometimeslanguagefails.

Severalpoints,then,abouthowwetalkaboutGod.

First, it’s important for us to acknowledge that when we talk about God, weoftenfindourselvesinthemiddleofoneparadoxafteranother.

Nearandfar,knownandunknown,wordsandsilence,answersandquestions,thatwhichisdeeplymysteriousandambiguousandthatwhichisrightinfrontofusasplainasday.

I point this outbecause thedominant consciousnessofourworld continues toperceive and process reality inmostly either/or categories—wewant to knowwhosesideyouareon,whichoneistheanswer,howthetensionisgoingtoberesolved,howtheparadoxwillbeeliminated.

Butsometruthsdon’tfitinatwenty-secondsoundbiteontelevision.

Takefaith,forexample.Formanypeopleinourworld, theoppositeoffaithisdoubt.Thegoal,then,withinthisunderstanding,istoeliminatedoubt.Butfaithanddoubtaren’topposites.Doubtisoftenasignthatyourfaithhasapulse,thatit’saliveandwellandexploringandsearching.Faithanddoubtaren’topposites;

theyare,itturnsout,excellentdancepartners.

Back to paradox, and an observation about our world today: fundamentalismshouldn’tsurpriseus.Whenaleadercomesalongwhoeliminatesthetensionanddodgestheparadoxandneatlyandpreciselyexplainswhotheenemiesareandgivesblack-and-whiteanswerstoquestions,leavinglittleroomfortheveryrealmysteryof thedivine, it shouldnot surpriseuswhen thatpersongainsa largeaudience.

Especiallyifthatpersonisreally,reallyconfident.

Certaintyiseasier,faster,awesomeforfundraising,anditoftengenerateslargeamountsofenergybecausewhodoesn’twanttoberight?

Whichleadsusbacktoouroriginalinsightthathowyoubelieveandwhatyoubelievearetwodifferentthings.Twopeoplecanbelievethesamethingbutholdthatbeliefinverydifferentways.

You can believe something with so much conviction that you’d die for thatbelief,andyet in theexact samemoment youcanalso say, “I couldbewrong...”

Thisisbecauseconvictionandhumility,likefaithanddoubt,arenotopposites;they’redancepartners. It’s possible toholdyour faithwithopenhands, livingwith great conviction and yet at the same time humbly admitting that yourknowledgeandperspectivewillalwaysbelimited.

Doyoubelievetheexactsamethingsyoudidintheexactsamewayyoudidfiveyearsago?

Probablynot.

You’vegrown,evolved,changed,

hadnewexperiences,studied,listened,observed,suffered,reflected,andreexamined.

That’showfaithis.Welearnaswego.

YearsagoIwasstruggling—really,reallystrugglingtomakesenseofanumberofthingsinmylife,inalotofpain.IstartedgoingtoacounselorwhograduallyhelpedmeunderstandwhyIwasfeelinghowIwasfeelingandhowIgotthereandwhat abetter futuremight look like. Itwas, as I lookbackon thatperiodnow, truly life-changing. My counselor, who has become like family to me,wasn’teverpushyorjudgmentalorcondemning,andhenevertriedtogetmetobelieveexactlyashedoes.Andyethehadnoproblemlookingmein theeyesandchallengingmeandconfrontingmeandpointingoutwhenIwasway,wayoff base.Hewas kind and humble and open, and yet firm and rock solid andunshakable.

Allatthesametime.

Hewasamanoffaith,deeplygroundedinhisconvictions,andyetthosefirmconvictionsdidn’tclosehimdownorhardenhimormakehimbrittle and closed-minded; they had the exact opposite effect. They seemed tomakehimmoreflexibleandlimberandengaging.

Likeatree,plantednearwater,withdeeproots.Astormcomesandthetreedoesn’tbreakbecauseit’sgroundedenoughto. . .bend.

Ibelieve that this isoneof themosturgentquestionspeopleareaskingat thistimeabout theverynatureoffaith:Canconvictionandhumilitycoexistas thedancepartnersweneedthemtobe?

Isayyes,theycan.Ihaveseenitupclose,andit’spossible.Itrequiresthatwepayasmuchattentiontohowwearetalkingastowhatwearetalkingabout,andit requiresus to leave theparadoxas it is, the tensionunresolved,holdingourconvictionswithhumility.

AllofwhichleadsmetosomethingmyfriendPetewrote:Whenitcomesto talkingaboutGod, thatwhichwecannotspeakof is theonethingaboutwhomandtowhomwemustneverstoptalking.

Sonow,withthatsaid,andnotsaid,ontotheGodwhoiswithus.

CHAPTER4

WITH

Sofinally,afterOpenandBoth,wegettoWithandForandAhead.

I remember years ago hearing someone tell a dramatic story about somethingincredible thathadhappened inhis life,and thewayhesummarizedwhathadhappened was “. . . and then God showed up!” It was moving to hear howthrilledhewas,butIhadoneofthose“Wait—what?”momentssoonafterward.IfGodshowedup,thenpriortothat,wasGodsomewhereelse?AndifGodwassomewhereelse,and thenGodcamehere for thatpersonat thatmoment,whydidn’tGodshowupforallofthoseotherpeopleinallofthoseothermomentswhocouldhaveusedsomeshowingup?

I’ve encountered this conception of God countless times over the years, aperspective that isn’t asmuch aboutwho God is aswhere God is. I’ve heardpeopleprayandaskGodtobewiththem;I’veheardsongsinvitingGodtocomenear;I’veheardagoodeventdescribedasaGodthing—alloftheseundergirdedby the subtle yet powerful belief thatGod is somewhere else and then comesheretothisworldfromtimetotimetodoGodsortsofthings.

Theproblemwiththisasone’sonlyconceptionofGod is that it raisesendless

questionsaboutwhenandwhereandwhyGodchoosestoact.

Ornotact.

Idon’tknowwhytheHolocausthappenedorwhythatyounggirlwasabductedorwhythatunclegotabraintumor.Andneitherdoyou.Noneofusdoes.AndanybodywhocantellyouwhyGoddecidedtocomehereandactinoneinstancebut not another should not be trusted. Lots of people were given only thisparticularconceptionofGodatsomepointintheirlivesandthey’restilllivingwithit:thatGodissomewhereelseandmayormaynotcomeherefromtimetotimetodoGodsortsofthings.

Doyouseewhatthisleadsto?

ThisconceptionofGodcaneasilyleadpeopletothenotionthatlife,theworld,existence, etc. is perfectly capable of going on without that God. That Godbecomes,inessence,optional.

ThatGodmayormaynotexist.

Greateffort,then,isoftenspenttryingtoprovethatthatGodevenexists,whichcan,ofcourse,failspectacularly.

Thereis,Ibelieve,anotherwaytoseeGod,awayinwhichweseeGodwithus—withus,righthere,rightnow.Thisisn’tjustanideatome;thisisanurgent,passionate,ecstaticinvitationtowakeup,toseetheworldasittrulyis.

I recentlybought somenew snorkelinggear, and as Iwaspulling it out of itspackagingalittletubeofsomethingfellout.IwassoexcitedtogettothewaterthatIdidn’tthinkanythingofthatfallentubeasIgrabbedthegearandheadedout. I got to the beach, put on the fins, adjusted themask, andmade sure thesnorkelwasfirmlyattached,andthenIdovein,expectingtoseethereefbelowinstunningcoloranddetail.

ButIcouldn’t.

Icouldmakeoutshapesandabitofcolor,butotherwisemymaskwouldn’tstopfoggingup.Itwasthen,outinthewater,severalhundredfeetfromshore,thatIremembered that little tube, which I realized was a special solvent I’d heardabout—oneyouwipeonthemasksothatitwon’tfog.

Having interactedwith literally thousandsofpeopleover theyearsasapastor,I’veoftenfeltlikemyjobwastohelppeoplediscoverwheretheydroppedthatlittletube,becauseseeingisthefirststeptoprettymucheverything.

Iwantyoutosee.

Notinasuperficial,check-the-box,oh-yeah-now-I-get-itcasualsortofway,butinan“OhdearGod,myeyesarefinallyopen”sortofway.

To explore this seeing and what it means for each of us, let’s first go to thedining room table at my friend Rosa’s house. Rosa is Italian and she’s anamazingcook—that’sabitredundant,isn’tit?—andshemakesthesehugemealsthat take hours to eat while her husband John goes back and forth from thekitchen bringing plate after plate of food and inevitably—usually sometimearound the first round of dessert—someonewillmention how transcendentoroutofthisworldorsublimeordivineorgloriousthemealhasbeen.

I imagineyou’vehad similar experiences thatyouwoulduse similarwords todescribe—maybeyouwereholdinganewbornchildorhearingafavoritesongperformedliveorstandingonthesideofamountainorfloatinginalakeorevenwashingdishes on an averagedaywhenyoubecame awareof something elsegoingon,somethingmore,somethingjustbelowthesurfaceofwhateveritwasyou were experiencing—something you’d say was sublime or glorious ortranscendent.

Sometimesit’sextreme,adrenaline-inducingmoments,liketheotherdaywhenIwasoutontheoceanpaddlingonmyboardandIheardasoundI’dneverheardbefore.Likeawheezytwo-pack-a-dayuncleclearinghisthroat,onlylouderand

lower.More subterranean rumble thancough.As I turnedaround to seewatershootingupfromthesurface,IrealizedthatIwasclose—really,reallyclose—toawhale.

SoIdidwhatanybodywoulddointhatsituation:Ipaddledcloser.(WhichmywifeKristenwouldprobablypointoutisnotwhatmostpeoplewoulddo.)Myheartwas beating furiously like the kickdrum in oneof those earlyMetallicasongs.As I glided alongnext to thewhale, Iwas overwhelmedby a sense ofwhatIwouldcallacutesmallness.Thedarkbluish-blackishcolorofitsskin,thesheervolumeofwateritdisplacedwhenitcametothesurface,andthesizeofmyboardincomparisontoitssizeallconspiredtoimpressuponme:“You,Rob,areavery,verysmallbeinginavery,verylargeworld.”

Other times it isn’t theadrenaline-producingmountaintopandwhalemoments;it’s the timeswe’reoverwhelmedbydepthandintensityoffeelingat theotherendofthespectrum.Irecentlywenttolunchwithafriendatoneofmyfavoritetaco places. About twenty minutes into lunch, he began to tell me about theunravelingofhismarriage.He toldmeabout theirhistory togetherandhow itgotthemtothispointandwhatit’sdoingtoherandwhatit’sdoingtohimandwhat it’s like for him to go grocery shopping and then go back to his newapartment,allalone.

Somewhere inourconversation the full forceofwhathewas sayinghitme—divorce,theeffectontheirkids,theimageofbothofthematsomepointtakingofftheirweddingrings.Itwasasifourinteractionupuntilthatpointhadtakenplaceinmymind,butallofasuddenitdroppedwithadullthuddownintomyheart and I was engulfed by sheer, unadulterated sadness and sorrow thatpermeatedmyentirebeing.

Ichokedup,rightthereinmyfavoritetacoplace.

Therearethehighs,therearethelows,andthenthereare thenormal,average,everydaymoments likewashingdishesormakingyourkidsbreakfastorwalkingthedogorgivingtheneighborkidahighfivewhenyoufindyourselfcatchingglimpses,clues,andglancesofdepth

anddimensionandfullness.

Sometimesitcatchesyouoffguard;sometimesitsneaksuponyoufrombehind;sometimesyoufindyourselfslowingdownandbecominggrippedwithacertainstillness,likeyourheartisslammingonthebrakeswhileitwhispersinyourear,“Thismatters, this is significant, slow down, pay attention,” like your soul istryingtotakeapicturebecauseoftherealizationthatwhatever’sgoingonhererightnowisworthcapturing.

Whenwetrytodescribethesemomentsandweusewordsliketranscendentandwe talk about something being out of this world or about an event as havingdepthorbeingsublime,whatwe’retalkingaboutisoursensethatitiswhatitis,butitisalso,atthesametime,somethingmore.

Itwasameal,butitwasmorethanameal,inthesamewaythatitwasjustaconversation,andyetitwasmorethanjustaconversation.

You were there, fully present, taking in every tactile dimension of theexperience,andyetyourvisceral,physicalexperiencedrewyouhigher,farther,beyondthatverysameexperience.

It’sasifthepresent,real-time,flesh-and-bloodtasteofthatmealaroundRosa’stablesomehowpointedpastitself,itsvitalityandjoyanechoofalargervitalityandjoy.

InNovemberof2011,IwaswalkingthroughthesecondfloorofthePhoenixArtMuseumwhenIcameacrossamassivewallofpinkandyellowthatappearedtobe changing color. As I walked toward it, I began to see that the wall wasactuallyaninstallation,aboutfifteenfeettallbythirtyfeetwide,madeentirelyof sheets of paper—thousands of them,maybemillions of them, someyellowandsomepink,allstackedandarrangedwithgreatcareandprecisiontoproducethis particular effect. It was mesmerizing. So simple and yet so genius.Whodoesthat?Whodecidestostackthatmanysheetsinsuchaprecise, intentional

order?Who has that kind of patience?And how did the artist know itwouldproducesuchanemotionalreaction?

Itwasjustawallofstackedsheetsofpaper,andyetitwasmorethanjustawallofstackedsheetsofpaper,inthesamewaythatit’sjustasong,andyetit’smorethanjustacollectionofnotes,noises,andmelodies.

Tobeaspreciseaspossible,then,Iimagineyou’relikemeinthatyouregularlyfind yourself having experiences that point past themselves to a largerreference point, to something or somewhere or sometime or someonebeyondtheexperienceitselfinitsmostbasicessence.

Thesemomentshavea familiarparadox inherentwithin them, in that theyarebothnearandfar,closeanddistant,righthereandyetsomewhereelse,allatthesametime.

(Haveyounoticedhowoftenfirst-timeparentsspeakofbeingover themoon?Whatdoesatinyinfanthavetodowithouterspace?)Oftenyoucantouchtheseexperiences,holdthem,leanonthem,singalongwiththem,breathethemin,seethemintheirproximityandnearness,andyettheyhaveacompellingwayofleadingyoubeyondthem,asiftheywereawindoworadoorintoanotherroom.

TheancientHebrews,itturnsout,hadawayoftalkingabouttheseexperienceswe’veallhad,thosemomentswhenwebecomeawarethatthere’smoregoingonhere,momentswhenanobjectorgestureorwordoreventiswhatitisandyetpointsbeyonditself.

They believed that everything you and I know to be everything that is existsbecause of an explosive, expansive, surprising, creative energy that surgesthroughallthings,holdingeverythingalltogetherandgivingtheuniverseitslifeanddepthandfullness.

Theycalledthiscosmicelectricity,thisexpressedpower,thisdivineenergy,theruachofGod.

TheybelievedthatthisdivineruachflowsfromGodbecause,asthewritersaysin thePsalms, thewholeearth isGod’s,allof it infusedwithruach,crammedwithrestlesscreativeenergy,fullofunquenchablelifeforceandunendingdivinevitality,undergirdedandelectrifiedbytheGodwhocontinuallyrenewsthefaceoftheearth.

WhentheHebrewstalkedabouttheworld,then,theydidn’ttalkaboutaworldthatwentondayafterdaydoing its thingwhile theydiscussedwhetherornottherewasaGodouttheresomewherewhomightormightnotexist.Whattheytalkedaboutwasallofthislifeandvitalityandcreativityandstarsandrocksandtalking and pasta and tears and whales having a singular, common, creative,sustaining source—whom they called God—who powers and energizes andsustainsitall.

Andthatallincludesus.

While they understood this ruach energy to be as wide as the universe andpowerfulenoughtofuelandanimateandsustaineventhestars,asit’swritteninthePsalms,theyalsounderstoodthisruachtobeasintimateandpersonalasthebreathyoujusttookandthebreathyou’reabouttotake.

Infact,theyoftenreferredtoruachasbreath,asinthestoryofJob,whereit’swritten,AslongasIhavelifewithinme,theruachofGodinmynostrils...

The wisdom teacher in Ecclesiastes echoed this understanding in writing thatevery singleoneofus is the recipientof this energyand life force anddivinebreath,giventousbyGodtosustainusandfillusandenrichusandinspireusandgiveuslife.

We all, the Hebrews insisted—before we do or say or create or accomplishanything—havebeengivenagift,ascloseasourbreath,asrealaslifeitself.

Butbreathwasn’ttheonlywaytheyunderstoodruach.Inmanycasestheyusedthe word to refer to what wewould call spirit, although that word spirit canbringwithitanumberofassociationsinourworldthattheHebrewsdidn’thave.In our modern world, many people understand spirit to mean something lessreal, less tangible, less substantive—somethingnonphysical, often relegated totherealmofreligion.Somethingthatmayormaynotexist.

Butruachdoesn’tdividetheworlduplikethat.InJobGod’sruachgarnishestheheavens,andinthePsalmsit’stheruachthatbringsthingsintoexistence.

WhentheyspokeoftheruachofGod,theyweren’ttalkingaboutsomethinglessreal;theyweretalkingaboutwhathappenswhensomethingbecomesmorerealrightbeforeyoureyes.

When they spoke of ruach, they weren’t talking about an abstract realmsomewhere else; they were talking about the giant megaphone parked onemillimeter from your ear, announcing to you in clearly pronounced,unmistakablesoundsthatthisisrealanditishappeninganditisnottobedeniedordismissed.

Whentheyspokeofruach,asthepoetdoesinthefirst linesoftheBible, theywere talkingabout thevery lifeforce thatbringseverything intoexistence, thepresence ofGodwithin theworld, dwelling in every created being, present toeveryoneandeverythingallthetime.

TheyrepeatedlyspokeofthispresenceofGodeverywhereinallplaces,events,

andbeings.AsoneofthePsalmwritersasked,WherecanIgofromyourspirit,wherecanIfleefromyourpresence?IfIgouptotheheavens,youarethere;ifImakemybedinthedepths,youarethere...

(It’simportanttonotethattheHebrewswerecarefulnottosaythatGodis theflowerorsunsetorpastaorlumpinthethroat—theydidn’tsayGodiscreation,becausetheyunderstoodthatingivinglifetoeverything,Godalsogivescreationfreedom to be whatever it’s going to be, with all of the possibilities andpotentials for good and bad and beauty and chaos and love and loss that thatfreedommight lead to.)All ofwhich leadsmeback to the start, towherewebegan,tothesimple,straightforwardbeliefthatGodiswithus.

IbelieveGodiswithus,aroundus,besideus,presentwithusineverymoment.

Thequestion,then,theart,thetask,thesearch,thechallenge,the invitation is foryouandme tobecomemoreandmore thekindofpeoplewhoareawareofthedivinepresence,attunedtotheruach,presenttothedepthsof each and every moment, seeing God in more and more and more people,places,andevents,eachandeveryday.

Severalthoughtsaboutthisseeing.

First, what our experiences of God do at the most primal level ofconsciousnessisjoltusintotheaffirmationthatwhateverthisis,itmatters.Thisperson, place, event, gesture, attitude, action, pieceof art, parcel of land,heart,word,moment—itmatters.

WhenmywifeKristenwas fifteen, shewent on her first datewith a guy sheknewfromschool.Hecametoherhouse,pickedherup,theywenttoamovie,andthenhedroveherhomeward.Herfamilylivedinthedesertatthetime,andon thewayhome,ona remote stretchof roadseveralmiles fromherhouse,adrunkdrivercomingtheotherwaycrossedthecenterlineandhitthemhead-on.ThecarsweretotaledandKristenandherdatewererushedinanambulancetothehospital.Herparents,whowerecalledbythefirstresponders,quicklygotintheircarandheadedforthehospital,downtheverysameroadKristenandherdatehad justbeendrivingon.SeveralmilesfromtheirhouseKristen’sparentssawacommotionupaheadintheroad—commotionthattheysoonrealizedwasduetothecartheirdaughterhadbeenridingin,whichhadn’tyetbeenremovedfromtheroad.Andsotheypassedbythesmashedrelicofacartheirdaughterhadbeeninmomentsearlierwhenshewashithead-onbyadrunkdrivergoingwayoverfiftymilesanhour.

Mymother-in-lawJudietoldmethatit’sthefirsttimeshe’deverseenKristen’sdadwithatearinhiseye.

ItellyouthisstorybecauseKristen’sfatherhasalwayslovedhisdaughter,andatanypointinherlifeifyou’daskedhimifshematteredtohimhewouldhavesaid,“Yes,ofcourse.”Iimagineaswellthatifyou’deveraskedhimifshecouldmatteranymoretohim,hewouldhavesaid,“No,Ican’timaginehow.”Andyetwecansafelyassumethatinthatmoment,ashedrovebythewreckageofthatcar with a tear in his eye, his daughter somehowmatteredmore to him thanbefore.

It’s like there’s a scale from 1 to 10, and you alwayswould have sworn thatsomeoneorsomethingmatteredtoyouwitha10.Butthenyoualmost(oryouactuallydo)loseherorhimoritorthem,andsuddenlyyourheartisfilledwitha17ora39ora4,291kindofmattering.Newcapacities,onesyoudidn’tknowwerepossiblebefore,openupinsideofyou.

Sometimesyourealizethatsomethingthatdidn’tseemtomattertoyouactuallydoesmatter,othertimessomethingthatmatteredtoyousuddenlyfindsawaytomatterevenmoretoyou,buteverytimesomethingwithinyouexpands.

TheancientHebrewshadawordforthisawarenessoftheimportanceofthings.They called it kavod. Kavod originally was a business term, referring to theheaviness of something, which was crucial in weights and measures and themaintainingof fairness in transactions.Over time thewordbegan to takeonamore figurative meaning, referring to the importance and significance ofsomething.

Kavodiswhathappenswhenyou’reexchangingtheusual“Howareyous?”withapersonyouseeregularly,onlyonthisparticulardayshedoesn’trespondwithher normal “Fine, and you?” but instead says, “Not good”—and suddenlyeverythingchanges.Nowyouaskherwhysheisn’tgoodandshetellsyouandyouquicklyfindyourselfinthemidstofherpainandyoufeelwhatshe’sfeelingandyouhurtlikeshehurtsandtheconversationisnolongerbriefandshallowlike ithasbeenforyears,becausenowitweighssomething, it issignificant, itmatters.

Shematters;youmatter;thefactthatshedecidedtobehonestwithyoumatters;thethingthatishappeningbetweenyoumatters.

That’skavod.

Kavod iswhathappenswhenyou’re trying to talksomeoneoutofsuicideandyou keep insisting that his life matters. You’re trying to find better ways toexplainitandyou’rebeggingandpleadingandpersuadinganddoingyourbestto convince himnot to go throughwith it—andyoukeep comingback to theconvictionyouhavethatlifematters,eventhoughthatsoundssosimpleandduhandobviousinthemoment.

It’swhathappenswhenyoumeetupwithsomeonewhohasjustshavedhisheadandyoumakeajokeaboutitandhetellsyouthatit’sbecauseafriendofhisisgoingthroughchemoandhisshavedheadisasignofsolidarity—andsuddenlyyou’restaringatthatshinyheadinawholenewway.

That’skavod.

Weliveinaliteworld—onethatbombardsusfromthousandsofdirectionswithadvertisementsandescapeineveryconceivableformandtelevisionshowsaboutpeopledoingmindlessthingsandelevatorsthatplaymind-numbingversionsofsongsweusedtolikebeforeweheardthemamilliontimes.Thisnoise,inallitsvisual and psychic forms, can numb us,making this day feel like it’swithoutweightbecauseit’sjustlikealltheothersastheyallruntogether.

Butkavod,kavodissomethingelse.

Kavodisserious—notinanoverbearing,stiltedkindofwaybutinasacred,holykindofway.ThewordisoftenusedinthescripturestorefertoGod’sglory—thatwhich happenswhen themonotony is pierced, the boredom hijacked, thedespairoverpoweredbyyoursensethatsomethingelseisgoingon, justbelowthe surface, something that’s bigger andwider and deeper andmore powerfulthananythingyoucouldbegintoimagine.Somethingthatremindsyouofyoursmallness,frailty,andimpermanence.It’sthatgut-levelawarenessyou’reseizedbythattellsyou,“Payattention,becausethismatters.”

Whenwe’re talking aboutGod,we’re talking about every single one of thosemoments—whether they’re earth-shatteringly loud and large or infinitesimallysmallandwhisper-like,meresliversyouinadvertentlystumbleupon—momentswhenyouareconvinced,evenifyou’vebeenburnedandletdownandbetrayedcountlesstimes—thatcynicismdoesnothavethelastword,thatlifeisnotrandomormeaninglessorempty,but thatwhatyoudoandhowyoufeelandwhatyousayandwhereyougoandwhatyoumakeofthislifeyou’vebeengivenmatters.

Thisrealization—thatthingsmatter—leadsustoasecondparticularresponseourbrusheswithruachprovokewithinus,one that takesmetoasmallcity inVirginiaIrecentlyvisitedforthefirsttime.

AsIdroveuptothetownsquare,Inoticedthatitwascrowdedwithtentsfullofpeoplewhowerecampingouttoprotestthegrowingeconomicinequalityinourcountry.Later thatevening,anumberof theprotesterscamemarching throughthe center of town, shouting and chanting and singing about injustice and

poverty and greed and the ways that those things tear at the fabric of ourcommonlifetogether.

ShortlyafterthatIwastalkingwithafriendwhohadjustrecentlyjoinedafoodco-opwhereparticipantspayamonthlyfeeandthenreceivedeliveryofawidevariety of fruits and vegetables and grains from local farms. She was ravingaboutthequalityandfreshnessofthefoodandhowmuchlessthefoodhadtotravel because it was locally sourced and how that cut down on the carbonfootprintandhowthatwasteachingheraboutthefarmingcommunitythatwasjustafewmilesfromwhereshelived.

And then shortly after that, I ran into ayoungcouplewhowere totingaroundtheirnewbornsonand Ididwhatwealldo—Imade theobligatorycommentsabouthowcutehewasandhowmuchheresembledhismomanddad,andthenIinevitablygrabbedhislittlehandandhelditupandsaid,“It’ssosmall!”asifIweresurprised.

WhydoIalwaysdothat?WasIexpectinghishandtobelarge?Ibetyoudothesamething.

Youholdupthathandandyoustareatitandyoutalkabouthowsmallitisandwhatamarvelitisandhowyoucan’tgetoverthemiracleofnewlife,etc.,etc.Whydowedothis?

Wedothisbecauseit’snotjustaboutthebaby.

Weholdup thebaby’shandandmarvelat itbecause it reconnectsuswith thewondrousmysterythatisourownlife.

Newlifeisdeeplymovingandmysteriousbecausealllifeisdeeplymovingandmysterious.

Weholdthatnewbornbaby’shandupforthesamereasonthatprotestersmarchand people join food co-ops—becausewe have an intuitive awareness that

everything isultimately connected to everything else, and Ibelieve that isonemorecluetowhoitiswe’retalkingaboutwhenwetalkaboutGod.

Howweeat isconnected tohowwecare for theplanetwhich isconnected tohowweuseourresourceswhichisconnectedtohowmanypeopleintheworldgotobedhungryeverynightwhichisconnectedtohowfoodisdistributedwhichisconnectedtothemassiveinequalitiesinourworldbetweenthosewhohaveand thosewhodon’twhich isconnected tohowour justice system treatspeoplewhousetheirpowerandpositiontomakehundredsofmillionsofdollarswhileothersstruggle just tobuygrocerieswhich isconnected tohowwe treatthose who don’t have what we have which is connected to the sanctity andholinessandmysteryofourhumanlifeandtheirhumanlifeandhislittlehumanlifewhichiswhyweholdupthatbaby’shandandsaytotheparents,“It’sjustsosmall.”

There’sanancientJewishprayerthatbegins,

Hear,OIsrael:theLORDourGod,theLORDisone.

One is the English translation for the Hebrew word echad, which refers to aunity made up of many parts. The oneness the Shema prayer refers to isimportantbecauseitmakesacleardistinctionbetweenGodandeverythingelsethatexists—preservingthebeautyandtranscendenceandothernessofGodwhileatthesametimespeakingtooursensethatallofthediversityanddifferenceandpulsatingcreativityweknowtobelifecomesfromacommon,singularsourceandcenterwhoisoneinawaythatnothingelseisone.

This is one of the reasons we watch movies, attend recovery groups, readmemoirs,andsitaroundcampfirestellingstorieslongafterthefirehasdwindleddown to a few glowing embers. It’s written in the Psalms that “deep calls todeep,”whichiswhathappenswhenyougetaglimpseofwhatsomeoneelsehasgonethroughoriscurrentlyinthethroesofandyoufindyourselfinextricably,mysteriouslylinkedwiththatpersonbecauseyouhavebeenremindedagainofourcommonhumanityanditssingularsource,thesubsurfaceunityofallthingsthatiseverbeforeusincountlessmanifestationsbutrequireseyeswideopento

seeitburstintoview.

Weliveinadis-integratedculture,inwhichheadlinesandopinionsandimagesand sound bites pound us with their fragmented, frantic, isolated blips andsqueaks, none of it bound together by any higher unity, coherence, ortranscendentreferencepoint.

Thisfragmentationcaneasilyshapeus,convincingusthatthingsaren’tone.

ButwhenwetalkaboutGod,we’retalkingabouttheverystraightforwardaffirmationthateverythinghasasingular,commonsourceandisinfinitely,endlessly,deeplyconnected.

Weareinvolved,allofus.Anditallmatters,andit’sallconnected.

Allofwhich leadsme toa thirdparticularresponse toruach,one that takesme to Long Beach, California, to a TED conference. Each February over athousandpeoplegatheratthisconferencetolistentosomeofthebrightest,mostcreative, most innovative people in the world give talks on technology,environment,design,science,andanumberofothertopics.It’sanextraordinarythingtositforaweekandhearscientistsandinventorsandwriterssharingwhatthey’ve discovered and created and pioneered and achieved in their efforts tomaketheworldabetterplace.

There’salsoanagreement,I’massumingunspoken,thatGodandreligionaren’ttobe acknowledgedbeyondpassing, often apologetic references to spiritualityand transcendence.Theseare,afterall, the smartest folksaround.WhatwouldJesushavetodowithanythingthey’redoing?(Thatisanexampleofsarcasm.)ItellyouallthisbecauseatTED2012abrilliant,passionatelawyernamedBryanStevenson gave a talk about injustice and racism. He spoke about his workaroundthecountrywithintheprisonandcourtsystemsandhisdesiretoseeallpeopletreatedfairly.Hetoldstoriesaboutyoungmenhe’scurrentlydefendingincourt, arguing compellingly for amore just society, and thenhe closedwith a

quotefromMartinLutherKingJr. (whowasquoting theabolitionistTheodoreParker) about how themoral arc of the universe is long and it bends towardjustice.

The second Stevenson was done, the audience gave him a rousing, extendedstandingovation.Thenlater,theypitchedincollectivelytogivehisorganizationoveramilliondollars.

Ipoint thisoutbecausewhen theaudiencewasaskedfromthestage twodaysearlierhowmanyofthemconsideredthemselvesreligious,itappearedthatonlyabout2or3percentofthepeopleraisedtheirhands.

And yet aman confronted themwith themoral arc of the universe and theyintuitively,unanimously,instantlyaffirmedthetruthofhisclaim.

Ishistoryheadedsomewhere?Seriously?

BecausewhenBryanStevenson talksabout themoralarcof theuniverse,he’stalkingabouthistory,historythatisheadedsomewhere,somewheregood.

Historythathasapointtoit.

I believe that those smart, educated, accomplished, self-described-as-not-very-religiouspeoplestoodandapplaudedbecausedeepwithineverysingleoneofusistheconvictionthatthereisapointtothis.Thatlifehaspurpose.Thatwhenwedie,thelightsarenotturnedoffandtheshowisnotover.

The Greeks had a word for this sense of forward movement, purpose, anddirection—theycalled it telos.The telos of something is its point, its purpose,whereit’sheaded,whatit’sdoing,andwhereit’sgoing.

This iswhywe love stories: they’re loadedwith telos.Theyarenot staticbutdynamic realities, heavy with potential and possibility. In a story, somethinghappens,andthensomethingelsehappensafterthat,leadingsomewhere.That’s

howstorieswork.

When we talk about God, we’re talking about that sense you have—however stifled, faint, or repressed it is—thathope is real, that thingsareheadedsomewhere,andthatthatsomewhereisgood.

That’s the power of a TV show like The Office. Boring meetings andphotocopiers that hum in the background and annoying people in the nextcubicle—at the deepest level these sorts of settings are a vise on our heart,squeezingustighterandtighterwiththeinsistencethattomorrowisgoingtobejustliketoday.It’stheterrorofthemodernworld,thecrushingfearbehindeveryday:thatit’sgoingtobelikethis—justlikethis—tomorrowandthenextdayandthenextday.

Andsoashowaboutadrabanddrearyofficewheretheworkismind-numbingand the rewards meaningless—and yet the people stuck in this setting findhumanityand laughterandcompassionandevenmeaning—hasa really, reallypowerfuleffectonitsviewers.

Whenlightburststhrough,whenourboredomispiercedandourangsthijackedbysurprise,we’rebrushingupagainstruach—callingus,invitingus,rescuingus,remindingusthat

itallmatters,it’sallconnected,andit’sallheadedsomewhere.

TowrapupthischapterabouttheGodwhoiswithus,then,afewthoughts.

First, I began this chapter by talking about our very real experiences of this

world for avery specific reason: Ibelieve thatyouarealreadyexperiencingthepresenceofGodwithyouincountlesswayseverysingleday.ThisiswhyIintroducedyoutoruachandtheideathatGodisthesourceoftheverygoing-on-ness of the universe, like electricity that powers the whole house andeverythinginit.

There’s a story about Jesuswherehe’s at a dinner party, reclining at the tablewiththeotherguests,whenawomanbeginspouringperfumeonhishead.Hisdisciplesareoutragedbecauseofhowexpensivetheperfumeis.Jesus,however,is thrilled, telling them, “She has done a beautiful thing to me.” He thenproceedstotellthemthatwhatshe’sdoneispreparehimforburial.

Burial?Here’s the revealingpart: in Jesus’s day, preparing someone for burialwasareligiousact.InJesus’seyes,thiswoman’sgestureisaholy,sacredactofworship.Hisdisciplesmissthis,seeingonlyacommon,everydayact.

Theymissthepowerandsignificanceofthemomentbecausetheydon’thavetheeyestoseewhat’sgoingonrightinfrontofthem.

Thereisastrongwordhereinthisstoryforourday:youcanbeveryreligiousand invoke the name ofGod and be able to quote lots of verses and bewellversedincomplicatedtheologicalsystemsandyetnotbeapersonwhosees.It’sonethingtosingaboutGodandrecitequotesaboutGodandinvokeGod’sname; it’s another be aware of the presence in every taste, touch, sound, andembrace.

WithJesus,whatweseeagainandagainisthatit’sneverjustaperson,orjustameal,orjustanevent,becausethere’salwaysmoregoingonjustbelowthesurface.

Jesusseeswhatothersmiss.Heisawarewhenothersareoblivious.

IlovehowtheapostlePaulputsitinalettertofriends:“Maytheeyesofyourheartbeenlightened.”

Which leads me to a second point, one about faith. Sometimes people whobelieveinGodarereferredtoas“peopleoffaith.”Whichisn’tthewholetruth,becauseeverybodyhasfaith.

To believe in God requires faith. To experience this world and its endlesssurprise and mystery and depth and then emphatically declare that is has nocommonsource,itisnotheadedsomewhere,anditultimatelyhasnomeaning—thattakesfaithaswell.

ItellyouthisbecauseinthetimesIfoundmyselfinthedeepest,darkestplacesofdoubtanddespair, it seemed toohugea leapof faith to trust that there isaGod who loves and helps and hears and heals. That sounded crazy to me.Depending on where you’re coming from, that kind of faith can seem naive,simple,childish,uninformed,andattimesdownrightstupid.

Inthosetimes,believinginGodtomeseemedliketakingaflyingleap.

But the truth is, I had already taken a leap, because we’ve all taken a leap.Whateveritisthatwebelieve,whateveritisthatwetrust,we’veallleapedandwe’reendlesslyleapingbecauseweareallpeopleoffaith.

Whetheryoubelievethatthisisallthereisorwecomefromouterspaceoryou’reaChristianoraBuddhistoryou’reJewishorJedioryoudon’tbelievethatwecanknowanythingforsure,it’sallaformoffaith.

Nobodyhasn’tleaped.

WhichleadsmetoonemorethoughtabouttheGodwho’swithus:choosingto

trust that this life matters and we’re all connected and this is all headedsomewherehasmademylifeway,waybetter.

Or to say it anotherway,Godhasmademy life better. I don’tmean this in ashallow, trite, then-I-believed-and-now-I’m-happy-all-the-time way, but in adeep,abiding,satisfyingway.

ImovemoreslowlythanIusedtobecauseIdon’twanttomissanything.Ifindmoreandmorebeautyandmeaningineveryday,averagemomentsthatIwouldhavemissedbefore.IneedfeweranswersbecauseIseemore.IfindmorepeoplemorefascinatingthaneverbecauseI’mmoreandmoreusedtobeingsurprisedbythemysterythatahumanbeingis.I’vediscoveredmoreandmoreeventsarelessabouttheeventsthemselvesandmore about me being open to whatever it is that’s going on just below thesurface.

Becausethere’salwayssomethingmore,somethingelse,depthandfullnessandlife,rightthere,allofitagiftfromtheGodwhoiswithus.

CHAPTER5

FOR

Now,ontotheGodwhoIbelieveisforus.

When you’ve heard people talk about God, did they talk clearly andcompellinglyabouttheGodwhoisforus?TheGodwhoisforallofhumanityandwantsthebestforeverybody—regardlessoftheirbackgroundorreligionorperspectiveorbeliefsorwhatthey’vedoneorhaven’tdone?

DoyoubelievethatGodisforyou?DoyoubelievethatGod’sdesireisthatyouflourish,thrive,shine?Doyoubelieve thatGodwantsyou tobeeverythingyoucouldpossiblybeasyoubecomemoreandmoreandmoreyourtrueself?

Ido.

Whilethisisverysimpleandstraightforward,forastaggeringnumberofpeopleinourworldtheforoftheJesusmessagehasbeenburiedunderamassivepileofagainsts.Somewhereinalloftheyearsofreligiousagainstness—fromboycottsandwarsand judgmentsandsermonsabouthow“God lovesyou ifyou’ll just...”and“Godisforyouaslongasyou...”andinquisitionsandplacardsandcrusadesandterriblePR—formanypeoplethebeautiful,life-changingmessageofGodbeingforushasbeenlost.

All of which means it’s time for a radical reclaiming of the fundamentalChristianmessagethatGodisforus.

God,accordingtoJesus,isforusbecauseGodlovesus.

Onceagain,thisisratherstraightforwardandsimple,andyetaskaveragepeopleonthestreetwhatthefirstthingisthatcomestomindwhentheyhearthewordChristian, and it’s tragic how few will mention something about therevolutionarynewsattheheartofJesus’smessage:thatGodisforus.

IrealizethatinaskingthatquestionandtalkingaboutGodbeingforus,it’seasyto sound like a motivational speaker or a salesperson or a televangelist—promisingalloftheseAMAZING!THINGS!thataregoingtohappentoYOU!ifyoujustbelieve...orhaveenoughfaith...orgivemoney...orblindlyfollow...orprayorwhatever.

SoletmefirstsaythatwhenItalkaboutGodbeingforus,I’mnottalkingaboutguaranteesandsurefirewaystostayhealthyandhavelotsoffriendsanddriveanice car andkeepupwith theKardashians.When I talk about flourishingandthriving and shining, I’m talking about something much more profound,enduring,meaningful,andsatisfying.

Andtotalkaboutthat—aboutGodbeingforus—I’lltalkabouttheGodthatJesustalkedabout,whichmeansI’llfirsttalkaboutJesus,whichmeansIneedtotellyouaboutsomethingthathappensinthetownIliveinonthefirstFridaynightinthemonthofDecember.

OnthatfirstFridaynightthebusinessesandshopsandrestaurantsthrowaparty.TheyclosedownthestreetsinthecenteroftownandSantaridesin(ashedoesin all those Bible verses), and the stores serve food and drinks and playChristmasmusic.

Lastyear,oneofthesurfshopstoppedthemallbybringinginagospelchoirtosingamongtheracksofT-shirtsandtrunks.Thestorewaspacked.Andthechoirwas amazing. At one point, they sang a Christmas hymn in which Jesus is

referredtoasImmanuel,whichisanancientHebrewwordthatmeansGodwithus.

Picture your average nativity scene, assembled sometime in lateNovember orearlyDecember,sittinginsomeone’sfrontyardoronthelawnofachurch,withaspotlightortwoshiningonit.Thereareafewanimals,somewisemen(three,for some reason), Mary—who has just traveled miles on dusty roads but iswearing a spotless white-and-blue robe, Joseph—who apparently found timeduringthebirthtotrimhisbeard,andthenthere,inthemiddleofitall,lyinginamanger,is—inthewordsofthegreatpoetRickyBobby—Eight-poundsix-ouncenewborninfant...don’tevenknowawordyet...goldenfleecediaperswithyourtinyfatballed-upfist

babyJesus,

whosebirthiscelebratedeveryyearatChristmasinavarietyofways,someofthemevenhavingsomethingtodowithJesus.

Thisritualissofamiliar,sopredictable,soharmless,sobenign,that it’seasy tomisshow thisword Immanuel is actuallyanextremely radicalclaimabouttheverynatureofreality.

Right there in that surf shop, jammed to the walls with people smiling andnodding along, those singers in their Christmas song were singing about thedivineandthehumanexistinginthesameplace.

Inthesamebody.

ThisChristmas story, then, theone thatwe’re all so familiarwith, is a deeplysubversiveaccount,cominginjustundertheradar,givingusapictureofaGod

who isnotdistantordetachedor indifferent toourpainoruninterested inourconditionoruninvolved inourvery real struggles in thisworld,but instead ispresentamongusinJesustoteachusandhelpusandsufferwithusandgiveushopebecausethisGodisforus.

SowhenwetalkaboutJesusbeingdivineandhuman,whatwe’resayingisthatJesus,inaunique,singular,andhistoricway,showsuswhatGodislike.

AndtotalkaboutwhatGodislike,let’stalkaboutwaterskiing.

If you’vewaterskied before, I assume you remember your first time, floatingthereinthewater,teethchattering,lifejacketstranglingyouuptoyourjawbone,beingtoldtokeeptheropebetweenyourskis.Andwhatwastheadvicethatthepeopleintheboatkeptrepeating?Remember?(Sayitwithmenow...)“Lettheboatpullyouup!”

Whichthepeopleintheboat,whohavedonethisbefore,saylikeit’sthemostsensiblethingimaginable,butwhich,tosomeonewhohasneverwaterskied,cansoundlikecompletenonsense.

Leanback—togoforward?Staydown—togetup?

As a result of this confusion, many people, on their first attempt, get pulledforwardoutoverthefrontoftheirskis;theyignoretheadvicefromtheboatand

follow their natural inclination, which is to try to get themselves up onto thesurfaceofthewater.

Which doesn’twork, because youcan’t get yourself onyour ownuponto thesurfaceofthewater.

It’simpossible.

Learning towaterski requires a person tomake the counterintuitive leap fromtryingtodowhatseemsnatural,whichistogetyourselfupontothesurfaceofthewater,totrustingthattheboatwilldothatworkforyou.

Whichcantakeafewtriesandofteninvolvesalotofwaterupyoursuit.

I talk about the counterintuitive nature of learning to waterski because at theheartofwhatJesusteachesusaboutGodissomethingcalledgospel.Gospelisan unexpected, foreign notion, a strange idea that cuts against many of thedominantwayswe’veallcometobelievearehowtheworldworks.

Inoneofhis first teachings, JesusannouncesGod’sblessingon thosehecallsthe“poorinspirit.”Thepoorinspiritarethosewhoarelacking,whodon’thaveitalltogether,whoareacutelyawareofhowtheydon’tmeasureup.Thenobodies,thepathetic,thelame,thehas-beens,thenot-good-enoughs.

Thiswordblessingheuses isa rich,evocative, loadedword,and itessentiallymeans“Godisonyourside.”

I talk about gospel—Jesus’s announcement of good news and blessing foreverybodywhoneedsit—becauseovertheyearsasapastorI’veinteractedwiththousandsofpeoplewhowereoperatingundertheconvictionthatiftheycouldjustgetbetter—moremoral,

moredisciplined,morespiritual,morekind,morecourageous,moreholyorrighteousorwhateverreligiousjargontheyhadpickedupalongtheway—thentheywouldbeinoracceptedorembracedorvalidatedoraffirmedbyGod.

I’veoftenbeenasked,“Isn’ttheonlythingthatreallymatterstoGodintheendthatyou’reagoodperson?”

This sounds great, and being and doing good are obviously central towhat itmeans tobehuman,butcanyouhear theother thing, thesubtlebeliefsystem,just below the surface of this sensible, common, conventional way of seeingGod?

ThatquestionoftenflowsfromabeliefthatGodoperatesaccordingtoapointormeritsystem,andifyoudothegoodorrightordecentorreligiousthing,thenyouwillgetthepointsyouneedtogetonGod’sgoodside.

Thatisnotgospel.

Gospel is theshocking,provocative, revolutionary, subversive,counterintuitivegoodnewsthatinyourmomentsofgreatestdespair,failure,sin,weakness,

losing,failing,frustration,inability,helplessness,wandering,andfallingshort,Godmeetsyouthere—rightthere—rightexactlythere—inthatplace,andannounces,Iamonyourside.

Gospel insists that God doesn’t wait for us to get ourselves polished, shined,proper, and without blemish—God comes to us and meets us and blesses uswhilewearestillinthemiddleofthemesswecreated.

Gospelisn’tusgettingittogethersothatwecanhaveGod’sfavor;gospelisusfindingGodexactlyinthemomentofourgreatestnot-togetherness.

Gospelisgrace,andgraceisagift.Youdon’tearnagift;yousimplyreceiveit.Youdon’tmakeithappen;youwakeuptowhathasalreadyhappened.

Gospel isn’t doing enough good to beworthy; it’s your eyes being opened toyour unworthiness and to Jesus’s insistence that that was never the way itworkedinthefirstplace.

Beingagoodperson,then,naturallyflowsnotfromtryingtogetonGod’sgoodsidebutfromyourrealizationthatGodhasbeenonyoursidethewholetime.

Gospelcallsyoutoamajorchangeinthinking,agiantshiftinunderstanding,amassiveleapinhowyouseeyourself—otherwise,you’re stuck in the sameoldpointsprogram, trying toearnwhat isalreadyyours.

Can you see why Jesus often began his teachings by saying “Repent!”? Youknowwhatrepentmeans?Itmeans tochangeyour thinking, tosee things inanew way, to have your mind renewed—all of which reminds me of my firstAlcoholicsAnonymousmeeting.

Iwas twenty-fiveyearsold, juststartingoutasapastor,andoneeveningafterI’dgivena sermon,amannamedGeorgewalkedup tomeand toldme that Ineeded to go to an AAmeeting. I was totally caught off guard andmutteredsomething about how I wasn’t aware that I was an alcoholic. He said that itdidn’tmatter, that everything I needed to know about being a pastor I wouldlearnifIwent,andthatwhenitcametomyturntoshareinthemeetingIshouldsimplysay,“Hi,I’mRob,andIpass.”

SoIwent,anditchangedmylife.

Asthepeoplewentaroundtheroomandtoldtheirstories,thegearsinmymindturnedasfastastheycould,tryingtofigureoutandnamewhatitwasaboutthemeetingthatwassodifferentfromanyothergatheringI’deverbeenin.

Slowlyitdawnedonmewhatitwas:Iwasinabullshit-freezone.

InthatfirstmeetingIwentto,peopleweretalkingaboutthefirstofthetwelverecoverysteps,whichdealswithadmittingyourpowerlessness.

Admittingdemandshonesty.Admittingrequiresaruthlessassessmentofyourcondition.Admittingiswhathappenswhenyou’vehitthewall,whenyouhavenoenergylefttopretend,whenyou’redoneplayinggames,whenyounolongercarewhatotherpeoplethink,whenyou’vecometotheendofyourself,whenyou’rereadytoembracethetruththatyouneedhelp,andthatonyourownyou’reinserioustroublebecauseyou’vemadeamessofthings.

AsIsatthere,itwasasifIcouldsee,reallysee,forthefirsttime,justhowmuchtimeandenergyandeffortweexpendmakingsure thateverybodyknowshowstrong,smart,quick,competent,capable,together,andgoodweare.(Iimagineyoucouldaddyourownwordstothatlist.)It’shardtoseejusthowmuchthatposturingconsumesusuntilyou’reinaroomwhereit’sabsent—aroomwherepeople aren’t doing any of that because they are giving their energies toadmitting.

Ourneedtocontrolhowothersseeusislikeagodwe’vebeenbowingdowntoforso longwedon’tevenrealize it.But inanAAmeeting,noonehasenergyleftforthatsortofthing.Youcomeface-to-facewithyourselfasyoutrulyare.

Andnowhere’sthetwist,themystery,theunexpected truth aboutadmitting that takesusback to the counterintuitivepowerofgospel:Whenyoucome to theendofyourself,youareat thatexactmomentinthekindofplacewhereyoucanfullyexperiencetheGodwhoisforyou.

Iwasatdinnerrecentlywithafriendwhoisveryclearabouthowreligioussheisn’t.Shewastellingaboutherdaughter’srecenthealthscareandhowterrifyingithadbeenforherasamotherandhowallshecoulddowaspray,eventhoughshedoesn’tpray.

Whydopeoplewhodon’tpray,praywhenthey’reterrified?

I tellyouaboutmy friendsitting thereatdinner sharing that storyaboutprayingbecausewhenwetalkabouttheGodwhoisforus,wefirsthavetotalkaboutourdeep-down,intuitiveawarenessthatweneedhelp.

I realize that this sortof talk isoutof syncwithmanyof thedominantvoicesthathavebeenworkingonusforanumberofyearsnow,insistingthatwearetheanswertoourproblems,thatthereisnooneelseoutthere,andthatifwedon’tfixthingsourselves, therearenootheroptions.While thissoundsempoweringand reasonable and free fromall that primitive religious superstition,whatweactuallyrunintointhecourseofoureverydaylivesareendlessstrugglesthat(if

we’rehonest)weneedhelpwith ifwe’regoing to survive,much less prevail,becauseonourownweknowthatwearepowerless.

From lying to explosive anger to addiction to the inability to forgive tooverwhelming helplessness in the face of tragedy to the constant, gnawinganxietythatwon’tgoawaytothehauntingsensethatyou’renotgoodenoughnomatterhowhardyouworkandwhatyouachieve,whenwe’retalkingaboutGod,we’retalkingabouttheveryrealsensewehavethatwedonot,onourown,haveeverythingweneedandwearenot,onourown,everythingwecouldbe.

It’sthere,inthatplace—namingitandowningitandfacingitandgoingaroundtheroomadmittingourpowerlessness—thatwediscovertheGodwhohasbeenforusthewholetime.

Whichtakesustothedusty,messy,bloody,andunexpectedstoriesaboutJesus,whotoucheslepers,whomnooneelsewouldtouch,andhearsthecryofblindpeople,whohadbeentoldtobequiet,anddineswithtaxcollectors,whomeverybodyhated,andtalks with thirsty, loose Samaritan women he wasn’t supposed to talk with—overandoveragainweseehimgoingtotheedges, tothemargins, tothoseintrouble,thosedespised,thosenooneelsewouldtouch,thosewhowereignored,theweak,theblind,thelame,thelost,thelosers.

Hemovestowardthem;heextendshimselftothem;hereachesouttothem;hemeetsthemintheirplaceofpain,helplessness,abandonment,andfailure.

He is living, breathing evidence that God wants everybody, everyone, to berescued, renewed, and reconciled to ourselves, our neighbors, our world, and

God.

Thereare,ofcourse,consequencestohisteachingandtouchingandtalkinganddiningandhealingandhelping.

In his insistence thatGod is for everybody, Jesus challenged the conventionalwisdomofhisdaythatGodisonlyforsome.Inhisstandinginsolidaritywiththepoor,heconfrontedthesystemthatcreatedthose kinds of conditions. In his declarations that God can’t fit in any onetemple,heprovokedthosewhocontrolledandprofitedfromthatverytemple.

Allofwhichledtohisarrest,trial,andexecutiononacross.Youcannotbringafresh,newwordabouthumanflourishingandexpecttheold,establishedsystemsofoppressionandpowertostandbypassively.Or,asJesusputit,“Youcan’tputnewwineintooldwineskins.”

Haveyouexperiencedthis?Youtriedtodosomenewwork,project,initiative—maybeitwasinaschoolorahospitaloraneighborhoodorafaithcommunity—andyoukeptrunningintoabrickwallofresistance.Yousawaneedandyoudidyour best to meet it, only to encounter and be beaten down by those with avestedinterestinthingsremainingexactlyastheyare.

Iaskyouaboutyourownexperiencesofresistancetohumanflourishingbecausethere’samomentwhenJesusfirsttellshisfollowersthathe’sgoingtobekilled.Theydon’tgetit:theypushback,theyresisthisprediction,becausetheyassumethathe’scometowin,notlose.Toprevail,notsurrender.Toconquer,nothang

onacross.

They say no because they’ve come to believe that he is in some wayGod-among-them,andwhatkindofGodfails?

It’sallupsidedown,backward,nothowitwassupposedtobe.

Andthat,welearn,isthepoint.

Onthecross,sufferingtheworstapersoncansuffer,Jesusasked,“MyGod,myGod,whyhaveyouforsakenme?”

It’saquestion,butit’salsoawindowintoawholenewwayofunderstandingGod.

WhatwelearnfromJesus,whatweseeinhispain,abandonment,andagony,isthatGodisthere,too.

Godisinthebest,andalsointheworst.Godisinthepresence,andalsointheabsence.Godisinthepower,andalsointhepowerlessness.

Godisthere,too.

Godisthereinthetears,thequestions,thedespair,theblood,thelament—Godis there, sitting with us in the ashes, whenwe shake our fists at the sky anddeclarethatthereisnoGod.

This is the unexpected subversion of the cross, turning somany of our ideasaboutGodontheirheads, insistingthatGodisso forus thatGodiswillingtotakeon theworst theworldcanbringandsuffer it,absorb it,andfeel it, rightdowntothelastbreath.

Wearefree—

freetomakechoicesandexertourwillandinflictallkindsofpainandabuseonourselves,eachother,andtheenvironment.

Whichiswhatwe’vedone.

InJesusweseetheGodwhobearsthefullbruntofourfreedom,enteringintothehumanstory,carryingourpainandsorrowandsinanddespairanddenialsofGod,andthen,asthestorygoes,beingresurrectedthreedayslater.

ForthefirstChristians,thatwasthecompellingpart,theunexpectedtwistonJesus’slife,theendingthat’sreallyabeginning.

TheysawinJesus’sresurrectionanewerainhumanconsciousness,anewwaytoseetheworldbeingbirthed,awayinwhichevendeathdoesnothavethelastword.

Thisiswhywearemovedbysoulmusic,withitsacheandtremorandnakedvulnerability.Thisiswhywecheerforunderdogs,misfits,andblacksheep.

Thisiswhywelovetohearstoriesaboutpeoplewhowererejectedandforgottenand abandoned, only to rise up and do something grand and daring andmagnificent.

Those songs and stories and underdogs speak to our need to be constantlyremindedthatitisn’tover,thelastwordhasn’tbeenspoken—asaviordyingonacrossisn’ttheend,it’sjustthestart.

And sowhen I talk aboutGod, I’m talking about the Jesuswho invites us toembrace our weakness and doubt and anger and whatever other pain andhelplessness we’re carrying around, offering it up in all of its mystery,strangeness,pain,andunresolvedtensiontoGod,trustingthatinthesamewaythatJesus’sofferingofhisbodyandbloodbringsusnewlife,thispresentpainandbrokennesscanalsobeturnedintosomethingnew.

Thepeaceweareofferedisnotapeacethatisfreefromtragedy,illness,bankruptcy,divorce,depression,orheartache.It is peace rooted in the trust that the life Jesus gives us is deeper, wider,stronger, and more enduring than whatever our current circumstances are,becauseallweseeisnotallthereisandthelastwordaboutusandourstrugglehasnotyetbeenspoken.

Thereisgreatmysteryintheserealities,theoneinwhichwearestrongwhenweareweak,theoneinwhichwecometotheendofourselves,onlytodiscoverthatGodhasbeentherethewholetime,theGodwhoisforus.

So, having talked about the God who is for us, a few thoughts to wrap thischapterup.

I’m continually shocked, even though I shouldn’t be by now, by how manypeopleIinteractwithwhoseetheChristianfaithassomethingoverandagainstandeveninoppositiontohumanflourishing.

HowdidthemessageabouttheJesuswhocomesamongustohealusandfreeusand bless us and teach us how to be more generous and forgiving and lessjudgmentalandmorecompassionateeverturnintosomethingotherthanaclearand compelling message about God’s desire for us to flourish in God’s goodworld?

It’scompletemadnesshowtheJesusstoryhasbeenso thoroughlywarpedanddistortedinourworld.

Let’sstartthere,then,withtheobvioustruththatGodisforourflourishingandthrivingandwell-being,somuchsothatJesuscameamongustogiveuswhatweneed, toforgiveandrescueandempowerus toexperiencenewlifeasGodalwaysintendedit.

Whichleadsmetoapointaboutthatwordexperience.

When Jesus talked about faith, he talked about fruit: results, change,transformation.Youtasting,seeing,encountering,andexperiencingthefulllifeof God and never being the same again—that’s transformation. You hearinggospel and having it change the way you see yourself. You gaining a living,breathingawarenessoftheloveofGodandthensharingthatlovewithothers.

IbeganthischapterbytalkingabouttheChristmasstory,becausewhenwetalkaboutGodwe’retalkingaboutembodiedfaith—faithinwhichthedivinetakesonfleshandblood,liesinamanger,toucheslepers,rubsmudonpeople’seyes,andofferspeoplebreadandwine.Jesusshowsusthatultimatetruthandmysteryare located in bodies and matter and lips and arms and music and grass andwaterandeyesandrelationships.

That’sthemovement,thearc,thestory.That’swhatJesuswastalkingabout.

There isknowledgeabout something, and then there is knowledge that comes

fromyourexperiences of that something. It’s one thing to stand there in a labcoatwithaclipboard,recordingdataaboutlips.

It’sanotherthingtobekissed.

To elevate abstract doctrines and dogmas over living, breathing, embodiedexperiences of God’s love and grace, then, is going the wrong direction. It’stakingfleshandturningitbackintowords.ThefirstChristianstalkedaboutthefullness of God residing in Jesus because the movement of that embodimentgoesinaparticulardirection,thatdirectionbeingfromideatoskinandbones,fromabstractiontoconcretebeing,fromwordtoflesh.

Imagine that, after you’ve read a review of an album, someone asks youquestions about that album—asks what the songs sounded like and what thelyricswereabout.There’sachanceyoucouldanswerallthequestionsaboutthatalbumwithouteveractuallyhearingthesongs.

Jesuscomestohelpushearthesongs.

WhichleadsustoanothertruthabouttheGodwhoisforus.Inoneofhisfirstsermons,Jesustaughthisdisciplestolovetheirenemiesandprayforthosewhopersecutethem,becauseGodcausesthesuntoriseontheevilandthegood,andsendsrainontherighteousandtheunrighteous.

Jesussaidthisinanagriculturalsetting,oneinwhichpeoplewereacutelyawareoftheirneedforsunandraintogrowtheircropssotheywouldn’tstarve.Andeverybodyhadtheirownpersonallistofwhowasgoodandwhowasevil,whowasrightandwhowaswrong,whowasrighteousandwhowaswicked.

(Kindoflikenow.)

Jesusdoes a shocking thinghere, insisting thatGod showsno favoritism, thatGodhasbeenblessingandsustainingandgivingtoallpeople,eventhosewhoareopposedtoGod,fromtheverybeginning.

IpointthisoutbecauseattheheartofJesus’smessageisthecalltobecomethekindof personwho is for everybody.Especiallypeoplewhoaren’tChristians.This iswhyJesustalkedsomuchabout lovingourenemies.ToloveGodis tolove those whom God loves, and God blesses and loves and gives and isgenerouswitheverybody.

Onceagain,thisisterriblyobviousandstraightforward.Andyetthoroughlyradical.Anddesperatelyneeded.

AndthenonemorethoughtabouttheGodwhoisforus.We’reall,inonewayoranother,addicts,aren’twe?Someareaddictedtothepraiseofothers,sometoworkingallthetime,sometowinning,otherstoworrying,sometoperfection,sometobeingright,strong,beautiful,thin...perhapsyouareenslavedtoyourownself-sufficiency,ordrugsoralcoholorsexormoneyorfood.

Iassumeyou’relikemeandyouhavehang-ups,habits,tendencies,sins,andregretsthatplagueyou.

Whateveritis,weallneedrecovery.

IsaythisbecauseIbelieveJesuscomestosetusfreeandforgiveus,toliberateusfromshameandguiltandjudgmentandallthatholdsusback.Andtheway

thathedoesthisliberating,empoweringworkinourlivesisbyannouncingwhowetrulyareandthenremindingusofthisoverandoverandoveragain.

It is a radicalword about our true selves, aword so fresh and unsettling andsurprisingthatitrequiresustotrustthatitisactuallytrue,thatGodisindeedforus.

CHAPTER6

AHEAD

Sonow,aftertalkingabouttheGodwhoiswithusandforus,IwanttoexplorewithyoutheGodwhoIbelieveisaheadofus,pullingusforward.

Isthishowyou’veheardGoddescribed?Ahead?Pullingusforward?

IsGodprogressive,withabetter,more inspiringvision forour future thanwecouldeverimagine,orisGodbehind,backthere,inthepast,endlesslytryingtogetustoreturntohowitusedtobe?

Inmanywaysthisisoneofthecentralquestionsofourtimeabouteverything:Isthebestfutureareturntoanimaginedpristineerawhenthingswereideal,orisourbestfutureactuallyinthefuture?

Inthespringof2008IwasinSeattle,speakingataneventwiththeDalaiLamaandArchbishopTutuandanumberofotherspiritualleaders.Thepurposeofthegathering was to talk about how we can teach compassion to youngergenerations so that the world will be more and more a peaceful, less violentplace.

Itwasincrediblyinspiringtobethere.Iclearlyremembersittingthere,takingitall in, lookingaroundtheroomatallof theextraordinarypeoplefromallovertheworldfromeveryreligion—allofusthereoutofashareddesireforabetter

tomorrow.Andthensomebodyleanedoverandtoldmetherewereprotestersoutinfrontofthebuilding.

Protesters?

Whocouldpossiblythinkthiswasabadidea?

Whatsortofpeoplegotupthatmorningandthoughtthatthebestpossibleuseoftheirenergiesandtalentsandtimewastomakesignsandthengodowntowntodemonstrateinoppositiontoapeacemakingevent?

Who’sagainstpeace?

That’slikebeingagainstpuppies,orflowers,orTaylorSwift.

IaskedwhowasprotestingandwastolditwasagroupofChristians.(Sigh.)

I tell you about that event because God was there, at that event, as God hasalwaysbeen,presentwithallofhumanity,leadingandcallingandinvitinganddrawing andpulling all of humanity into greater andgreater love and joy andjusticeandequalityandpeace.Itispossible,then,tobeveryreligiousandverycommitted, as I’m sure those protesterswere, and yet beworking against thenewthingthatGodisdoing.

Onthesidewalk,infrontofthebuilding,missingoutonwhatGodwasuptoinside.

Sometimes religions are inharmonywith thispullinganddrawingandcallingandinviting,helpingpeoplemoveforwardtowardtheirbestselvesandabetterfuture for all of us, and sometimes religions work against this pulling anddrawingandcallingandinviting,resistingtheveryrealworkofGod’sruachintheworld.

SowheredidIgetthisideathatGodisaheadofus?

IgotitfromtheBible.Which I’ve learned, over the years, is surprising formost people to hear. Formany in the modern world, the Bible is one of the central reasons for thebackwardnessofreligion.

Godisahead?AndIfoundthatintheBible?

Yes, and to talk about that, I’ll first take you to several of those violent OldTestamentpassages,thekindthataregenerallyusedasevidenceforGodbeingbehind.Sostaywithme,becauseIwanttoshowyousomethingelseatworkinthosestories,somethingsurprisingandcompellingthatIhopechangesthewayyouunderstandGod.

We’llstartwithaphrasethatI’mcertainyou’vereadorheardquotedsomewherealongtheway.It’sfoundinthesecondbookoftheBible,calledExodus,anditreads,

Butifthereisseriousinjury,youaretotakelifeforlife,eyeforeye,toothfortooth...

You’veheardthisphrasebefore,right—aneye foraneye,a tooth fora tooth?Weusuallyhearitquotedwhensomeone’stalkingaboutrevenge.

Yougethit;youhitback.Theybombus;webombthemback.Theyspreadanuglyrumoraboutus;weask,“Haveyouheardwhattheydidlastsummer?”

It’sbecomeaeuphemismofsorts,awayofjustifyingtherighttogetevenandsettlethescore.

Thereis,however,anotherwaytoreadthisverse.

Thechapterthisverseisfoundindealswithissuessurroundingpersonalinjuryandpropertydamage.Itincludesinstructionsaboutwhattodowhensomeoneis

kidnapped, the importance of making a distinction between whether personalinjurywasintentionalornot,whathappensifthere’safistfightandonepersondoesn’tkilltheotherbutinjureshimenoughthathe’sconfinedtobed,whattheproperprocedureiswhensomeonedigsaholeandsomeoneelse’sanimalfallsintoit.Thereareevenspecificinstructionsonwhattodoifaperson’sbullgoressomeone todeath, thekeyquestionbeing:Did thebullhaveahabitofgoringandhadtheownerbeenwarned?

(Andweallknowhowawkwardthatconversationcanbe:“HeyPhil?Yeah,Bobhere.AmIcatchingyouatabad time?No?Great.Listen, thiswill take justaminute,andIdon’tmeananydisrespectandIhopeyoudon’ttakethisthewrongway,but—folkshavebeentalking,andIdidn’tknowifyouwereawareofitornot,butyourbullhasbeengoring someof theneighborkids lately, and I justthoughtyoushouldknow...”)

Dead animals and digging holes and pregnant women getting punched andslavesgettingtheirteethknockedout—itcanallseemquitedistant,chaotic,andforeign . . . unless, of course, you turn on the television any time of the day,whereyou’llfindanumberofshowsinwhichcamerasfollowpoliceasthey—wait for it—break up fights and settle property disputes and calm downneighbors who are quarreling over damaged goods. And then there are thosecourtroomshowswherepeoplearguetheircaseforwhytheotherpersonowesthemmoneyfor—waitforitagain—propertydamageandpersonalinjury!Itallsounds quite familiar after all. But I’m getting ahead of myself—we’re stilldealingwithbackthen...

Inthemidstofall theserulesaboutfistfightsandbullgoringsisthelineabout“aneyeforaneye,atoothforatooth,”whichmeantthatifsomeonekilledyourcow, he owed you a cow, not two cows, not a cow and a horse, and not achicken.Ifyoudugaholeandhisdonkeyfellinitandwasinjured,youowedhimpropercompensationfortheinjurytothatdonkey—nothingmore,nothingless.

“An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” was another way of saying that thepunishment must fit the crime. It was a law given to lessen violence, and itdemonstratesaprofoundinsightintohumannatureandthecharacterofrevenge.

Revengealwaysescalates.

Whensomeonewrongsus,werarely(ifever)wanttodothesamethingback.Why? Because we want to do something more harmful. Likewise, whensomeoneinsultsus,ourinstinctistosearchforwordsthatwillbemoreinsulting.

Revengealwaysescalates.

In the ancientworld, this truth about humannature had serious consequences.Someonekillsyourcow—what’stostopyoufromkillingtwoorthreeorfourofhiscows?

Someone injures your wife—what’s to stop you from paying him back withsomethingfarmorelethal?

“Aneyeforaneye”wasasuccinctwayofcreatingalegalbarriertopreventtheescalationofviolenceandinjury.

Whenwereadthispassageinourpresentcontext,thewisdomofitisoftenlostonusbecause it’s inamongall that talkofslavesandbullsandpeoplegettingteethknockedoutanddiggingholesintheground.Atfirstglanceitcaneasilyappeartobeanotherexampleofprimitive,regressiveculture.Butatthetimethisregulation was given, it was a significant advance in the creation of a lessvolatile,morecivilsociety.

(Iassumesomeofyouarethinkingat thispoint:“Heywait,weinthemodernworld aren’t thatmuch farther ahead;we’re just violent and barbaric inotherways.”Excellentpoint.We’llgettothatinamoment.Andothersofyoumaybethinking,“Actually,‘eyeforeye’isreflectedintheLatinconceptoflextalionis,whichisthebasisofourmodernlegalsystem.It’snottheleastbitdated.”Again,goodpoint.You’retrackingwithme.Welldone.)

Whatsoundslikeaprimitive,barbaric,violentphrasewasactually,foritstimeandplace,astepforward.

WhatweseeisGodmeetingrealpeopleinarealplaceatarealtimeinhistoryand drawing them forward, calling them to greater and greater shalom, theHebrewwordforpeaceandwholenessandwell-being.

Didtheystillhavealongwaytogo?Ofcourse.ButinExodusweseeastepforward.

Nowlet’sfast-forwardhundredsofyearstothetimeofJesus,becausebyhisdaysomethingdestructivehadhappened to theway thiscommandwasunderstoodandinterpreted.Peoplewouldhavesomeviolenceorinjusticedonetothem,andtheywould justify theirdesire for revengebyquoting,youguessed it,“aneyefor an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” Inotherwords: “I’m just doing to themwhattheydidtome!”(Soundfamiliar?)

Thesameversethatwasintendedtocreateafairandjustlegalsystem,lesseningviolence and revenge, was by Jesus’s day being used to justify violence andrevenge.

Which leads us to a crucial insight: these were very religious people, deeplycommittedtothescriptures,whowerequotingthescripturesinsuchawaythatthosepeoplewereactuallyworkingagainstGod’spurposesintheworld.

Imaginethat—religiouspeoplequotingtheBibletodefendactionsthatweretheexactoppositeoftheintentandpurposeofthoseverysamescriptures!

It’s possible, then, to be quoting the Bible out of the conviction that you’redefendingGod’swaywheninfactyou’reinthatexactmomentworkingagainsthowGodwantstocontinuedrawingandpullingandcallinghumanityforward.

Andthen,toputafinerpointonit,it’spossibletotakesomethingthatwasastepforwardatonepointandstillbeclingingtoitlateroninthestory,tothepointwhereitbecomesastepbackward.

Withthatsaid,let’smovefromthe“eyeforeye”passagetoanotherpassage,this

onefromthebookofDeuteronomy.I’llletyoureaditthroughbeforewegoanyfurther:

WhenyougotowaragainstyourenemiesandtheLORDyourGoddeliversthemintoyourhandsandyoutakecaptives,ifyounoticeamongthecaptivesabeautifulwomanandareattractedtoher,youmaytakeherasyourwife.Bringherintoyourhomeandhavehershaveherhead,trimhernails,andputasidetheclothesshewaswearingwhencaptured.Aftershehaslivedinyourhouseandmournedherfatherandmotherforafullmonth,thenyoumaygotoherandbeherhusbandandsheshallbeyourwife.Ifyouarenotpleasedwith her, let her gowherever shewishes.Youmust not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you havedishonoredher.

Wheredoweevenstart?Brutal,isn’tit?

What a primitive, barbaric, sexist, demeaning, and degrading passage. Howcouldanyonewithanounceofrespectforwomenfindthispassageanythingbutoffensive,repulsive,andagiantstepbackward?

Goodpoint.

Let’sbreakitdownabit.

This isapassageabout thespoilsofwar,acommonoccurrence in theancientNearEast,wherepeoplewereconstantlygoingintobattle,whichmeantpeoplewere constantly winning, which meant people were also losing, which meantbeing killed. It was customary that whoever won a battle took whatever hadbelongedtotheir(now-dead)adversariesforthemselves.Animals,jewelry,tents,food,slaves,andofcoursewives.Accordingtotheconventionalwisdomoftheday, youwere free todowhateveryouwantedwith the spoils ofwarbecausethosespoilswereallseenasyourproperty.Andpropertywasseenasless thanhuman,tobeusedorsoldordiscardedorabusedasyousawfit.

Thatwashowthingsweredone.

It’s into thatworld that this passage comes,which lists rules for the spoils ofwar.

First, taking thewoman you found attractive into your homemeant youwere

providingforher.Shewouldhavearoof,protection,food,clothes,whateverelsesheneeded.

Second,havinghershaveherheadandtrimhernailsandchangeherclotheswastoallowhertotakeonthemarksofmourning.Shehadsufferedahorrificloss,andsoshewastobegiventimetoproperlygrieve.Grief isahumanemotion,andpossessionsdon’thaveemotions;spoilsofwardon’thavefeelings.Togivehertimetogrievewastotreatherasaperson,notasapossession.

Third,tomakeheryourwifemeantshewasnowafullyfunctioningmemberofthehousehold,withresponsibilitiesandrightsandposition.

Andthenfourth,whenamaninthatdaywasnotpleasedwithawoman,hewasfreetosendheraway,intoacultureinwhichshehadnorights,nostanding,andno form of protection against exploitation.As a result,womenwho had beensentawayoftenhadnooptionbutprostitution.Thispassage forbids sendingarejected woman away without rights and honor and dignity—a significantdeviationfromtheculturalnormsregardingspoilsofwar,becauseatthecenterofitwasthesimpleaffirmationthatwomenarepeople,notpossessions.

An obvious truth to us, but a revolutionary one at the time—one that wentagainstconventionalwisdomregardingthespoilsofwar,one thatsignificantlyimprovedthetreatmentofwomen.

What isashockingandoffensiveculturalpractice touswasagroundbreakingadvancementatthattime.

Welookbackonthispassageandit’sclearlyanumberofstepsbackwardforus,butfortheoriginalaudience,atthattime,itwasastepforward.

Didthatculturestillhavealongwaytogointheirtreatmentofwomen?Ofcourse.Doesourculturestillhavealongwaytogoinourtreatmentofwomen?Ofcourse.

ThereisachainofrestaurantscalledHooters.DoIneedtosayanymore?

WhatweseeinthesepassagesisGodmeetingpeople,tribes,andculturesrightwheretheyareanddrawingandinvitingandcallingthemforward,intogreaterandgreatershalomandrespectandrightsandpeaceanddignityandequality.It’sasifhumanhistorywereprogressingalongatrajectory,anarc,acontinuum;andsacred history is the capturing and recording of those moments when peoplebecameawarethattheywerebeingcalledanddrawnandpulledforwardbythedivineforceandpowerandenergythatgiveslifetoeverything.

Tomakeitreallyclearandsimple,let’scallthismovementacrosshistoryweseein passages like the ones we just looked at from Exodus and Deuteronomyclicks. What we see is God meeting people at the click they’re at, and thendrawingthemforward.

Whenthey’reatF,GodcallsthemtoG.Whenwe’reatL,GodcallsustoM.

Andifwe’rewaybackthereatA,GodmeetsuswaybackthereatAanddoeswhatGodalwaysdoes:invitesusforwardtoB.

This is true for individuals, families, tribes, nations, cultures, organizations,institutions,andchurches.Allof it takingplaceonacontinuum,atrajectory,aGod-fueledmovementwithinandthroughhumanhistory.

ThisbitabouttheclicksleadsustoanobvioustruthabouttheBible,butoneweshouldpointoutanyway: theBible is a libraryof radicallyprogressivebooks,books that were ahead of their time, books that tell stories about humaninteractionswiththedivinebeingwhonever,evergivesuponusandneverstopscallingusandpullingusandinvitingusintonewandbetterfutures.

Severalobservations,then,aboutthisdivinepull.

First, thedominantsins, structures, systems,andstagnationsofeachofusand

theculturesweliveinoftenresisttheradicallyprogressivemovementofGodinthe world and therefore hold us back from the growth and flourishing Godintendsforus.

Here’sanexampleofthisresistance,fromthebookofGenesis,thefirstbookoftheBible.GodpromisesamannamedAbrahamthathe isgoing tobeblessedandthatoutofhimisgoingtocomeagreattribeandoutofthattribethewholeworldisgoingtobeblessed.

There’s a progression in this promise, a progression that is loaded withimplicationsforourworld.Abraham,whodoesn’thaveanychildren,learnsthatheisgoingtobethefatherofatribe,anation.ThiswouldhavemadesensetoAbraham,becausethat’showpeopleinhisdayunderstoodtheworld:everybodywaspartofatribeandeverytribehadafather—anoriginator,apatriarch.Sometribes wandered and some tribes were more settled and some had lots ofpossessions and were quite wealthy and some had land and some had largearmiesandsomedidn’tandsomewenttowaroftenandothersavoidedconflictat all costs and some formed alliances with other tribes in order to defendthemselvesagainstotheralliancesofothertribes.Youridentityasanindividualina tribalculture likeAbraham’swas found in the tribe thatyoubelonged to.(Kindoflikecollegefootball.)

It’s in this tribal-centeredculture thatGodcallsAbraham tobe the fatherofatribethatwillbedifferentfromalltheothertribes.

Abraham’s tribe will have a higher purpose than simply their own wealth,preservation,andwell-being.Abraham’stribewillexisttoblessandbenefitalltheothertribes.GodcallsAbrahamtoanewstateofbeingthat—andhere’sthereally important part—includes tribal identity and preservation but thentranscends it to a higher calling—a calling beyond just maintaining andprotecting his own tribe, a calling to help and bless and elevate all the othertribes.

Abraham’scallingisn’tjustabouthim,anditisn’tjustabouthistribe;it’salsoaboutthewell-beingofallothertribes.

The rest of the Bible tells the story of Abraham’s tribe—the Jews—and theirstrugglestoliveuptotheirdestinyandcalling.Eventheirname,Israel,means“the onewho struggleswithGod.”Over time prophets rise up and call Israelback to their destiny, oneof thoseprophets, Isaiah, telling them that they’re a“light to the Gentiles.” (The Gentiles is a phrase that essentially meanseverybodyelse.) Jesusarrivesandwhatdoeshe teachAbraham’sdescendants?Don’thideyourlight;letitshine!

Jesus continually reminds Abraham’s tribe of their identity and mission andcalling,essentiallyaskingthemtimeandtimeagain,“Howdidyousobadlylosetheplot?Thiswassupposedtobeyourstory!”

Andmanyofthemdon’tgetit,becausetribesnaturallyhaveatendencytobecomeallaboutthemselves.

Soundfamiliar?

Haveyoueverbeenpartofanorganizationand theexperiencesouredbecauseyourealizedtherewasn’tanylargermissionorpurposeormotivationbeyonditsownpreservation?

Have you ever heard of a nation becoming so addicted to a particular naturalresourcethatitcouldnotproduceenoughtomeetitsinsatiableneed?Butinsteadof cutting back and goingwith less, it spent evenmore resources and used awide array of questionable and sometimes even violent means to obtain thisresource fromothercountries, at the riskofbankrupting itself andcausing thelossofuntoldlife?

ThesetruthsaboutthecallofAbrahamandJesus’steachingtohistribeleadusto another truth about the divine pull, one that speaks directly to religiouscommunities. It is possible for religious people who see themselves as God’speople to resist the forward-calling of God to such a degree that the largerculturearound themisactuallyaheadof them inaparticulararea, suchas theprotection of human dignity or the integration of the mind and body or thetreatment of women or inclusion of the forgotten and marginalized or

compassion or intellectual honesty or care for the environment. Churches andreligiouscommunitiesandorganizationscanclaimtospeakforGodwhileatthesame time actually being behind the movement of God that is continuingforwardintheculturearoundthem...

withouttheirparticipation.

Whichtakesusbacktothedivinepull,toatruthaboutthepromisetoAbrahamthat leads to a truth about our day: self-centered, our-tribe-above-all-othersconsciousness is at the root of untold war, conflict, racism, ethnic cleansing,environmentaldestruction,andsuffering in theworld,andwhenwe talkaboutGodmeetingpeoplein theBiblebackthenrightwheretheywere,wemust, inthenextbreath,acknowledgethatthepromisetoAbrahamisstillunrealized.

TheclickGodwascallingthemtothereandthenisaclickwestillaren’tathereandnow.

Thelife-givingruachweseeatworkinthescripturesisstillahead,becauseintheBiblewefindGodahead,confrontingandcallingpeopletoanewvisionoflife together thatstillhasn’tbeenfullyrealized, thatwestillhaven’tseenfullycomeintoexistencethousandsofyearslater.

And that truth leads tooneabout thehumanheart:asadvancedand intelligentandeducated asweare, there are some things about thehumancondition thathavenotchanged in thousandsofyears. It’svery important thatwearehonestabout this glaring reality. We have progressed so incredibly far, invented somany things, found an endless array of new ways to process and share andcommunicate information, and yet the human heart has remained significantlyunchanged, in that it still possesses the tremendous capacity to produceextraordinaryignorance,evil,anddestruction.

Weneedhelp.

At this very moment there is a great deal of energy being spent by nationsaroundtheworldtomakesurethatcertainothernationsdonotgetthecapability

to use nuclear weapons. The nation that is leading this charge is the UnitedStates,whichhasenoughnuclearweapons toblow theworldup several timesandthat,contrarytoallothernations,hasactuallyusednuclearweaponsinthepast, killing tens of thousands of innocent civilians. The United States hasaround6percentoftheworld’spopulationandpossessesalittlelessthanhalfoftheworld’sweapons. If therewere agroupofonehundredpeople, and sixofthemhadhalftheguns—well,wewouldhaveaseriousproblem.

Weneedhelp.

ToreadtheBible,then,asabookaboutthoseprimitivepeoplewhohadmadeamessofthingsandhowGodwascallingthemforwardandmisstheglaringfactthat it’salsoabookaboutusandourdesperateneed toberescuedandhelpedandbrought forward into a better future is an epic, historic caseof seeing thesplinterinsomeoneelse’seyeandnottheloginourown.

All of which leads me to a story about Jesus’s disciples, who come to himagitatedbecause they sawsomeonedrivingdemonsout in Jesus’sname.Theytriedtostoptheman,theytellJesus,“becauseheisnotoneofus.”

Drivingoutdemonsisagoodthing,correct?

Ithinkwe’dallagreethatthefewerdemonswehave,thebetteroffourdayis,right?

Sothismanisdoingsomethinggood,somethingneeded,somethinghealing,andyetaccordingtothedisciples,“heisnotoneofus.”

Andsotheytrytostophim.

Theydothisbecause,forthem,theworldisdividedupaparticularway.

Us.Andtheneverybodyelse.

However they reached this conclusion, we can assume that their culture and

families and a number of other factors hadworked together to shape them insuchawaythattheywouldtrytostopsomeonefromdoinggood.

Jesus,however,isquiterelaxedaboutthewholething.Hetellsthemnottostoptheman,because“whoeverisnotagainstyouisforyou.”

I tell you this story because there’s something going on in both the disciples’actionsandJesus’sresponsethathasbeengoingonforthousandsandthousandsof years. We divide the world up and label people and create rules and feelrighteousaboutourtraditionalorprogressivestances.Wespendagreatdealoftimearguingforthesepositionsthatwe’vetakenandworkingtogetthewordsrightsothatwecanbestarticulatewhywetakethestandthatwedo.

OnlytodiscoverthatwhateverGodisupto,it’sbiggerandbetterandwiderandstrongerandmoreinspiringandexpansiveandliberatingthanwefirstimagined.

Acareful readingof theBible revealsabookaboutpeoplehaving theirmindsblownandheartsexplodedwithavisionforhumanitysothrillingandjoyousitcan’tbegraspedallatonce.Ithastobebrokendownintoastep,followedbyastep,followedbyastep,followedbyastep.Click,thenaclick,thenaclick.

All ofwhich raises the question: Sowhat’sGod up to at thismoment?WhatdoesallthistalkabouttheGodwhoiswithusandforusandaheadofuslooklikeineverydaylifehereinthemodernworld?

That’sagreatquestion,onethatwilltakeanotherchapter.

CHAPTER7

SO

Sowhatdoesitlooklike?That’sthequestion,right?

I’mlikeyou:IgettothispointinabooklikethisandIwantexamples,concreteimages,stories,pictures—Iwant toknowhowthesebig ideasactually takeonfleshandbloodineverydaylife.

Godwithus,forus,aheadofus—thatallsoundsgreat,butwhatdoesitlooklike?

Itlookslikelotsofthings,andtotalkaboutafewofthosethings,we’llfirsttalkabout temples, and then we’ll talk about bread and wine, and then we’ll talkaboutcurtains,kings,comedyclubs,shadows,depths,darkmatter,splagchnon,monkeys,andfurniture.

First,let’sgobackinhistory,fiveornineortwenty-threethousandyearsagotoa

hillwithapileofrocksonit.Agroupofpeoplearelayingoutsheavesofgrainon thatpileof rocks,which (yourealizeasyougetcloser) isanaltar.They’relayingout thisgrainon thisaltarbecause they’ve justharvested theircropandtheywant toshowtheirgodshowgrateful theyare for thefood thatwillkeeptheirfamiliesaliveformonthstocome.They’velearnedovertimethatforthisgraintogrow,theyneedtheraintofallinjusttherightamountsandthesuntoshine at just the right times and the crops tobeprotected fromanydiseaseoranimalsthatmighteattheseeds.Ittakesalotofgoodfortuneforaharvesttobeplentiful,andtheyareviscerallyawareoftheirimpotenceinthefaceofallthesepotentiallydestructive forces.And so they’vedeveloped this ritual of taking aportionofthecropandofferingitbacktotheraingodandsungodandprotectorgodasawayofsayingthanks,asanactofworship,hopingtokeeptheforcesontheir side so that they’ll continue to have abundant harvests that feed theirfamilies.

Nowlet’sjumpaheadafewhundredyearstothatsamehill,onlynowthere’satemple next to the altar, and people in robes are taking the sheaves fromeveryday,ordinarypeopleandplacingthesheavesonthealtar.

Whyatemple?Becauseastheyearsprogressedandtheofferingsmultiplied,thesame questions arose time and time again as people questioned if they weredoing enough. Maybe they needed to be more hospitable to the gods, morewelcoming;maybeifthegodstookupresidenceintheirmidst,thingswouldgobetterforthem.Andsotheybuiltatemple,ahouseforthegods.

Butwiththisgrowingreligioussystemanditsrulesandritescametheincreasingawarenessofhowmanywaysthingscouldgowrong.

Awrongword,anincorrectgesture,anoffensiveact,aflawedsacrifice—whoknowswhatwouldsetthegodsoff?Howdoyouknowthatthedroughtyou’reexperiencingisn’tbecausesomebodyimproperly offered his sacrifice, inadvertently provoking thewrath of the raingod?

And so gradually from among their midst a special class of people emerged,calledpriests,tooverseeallofthisritualandoffering.Peoplesetapart,devotedto the life of the temple, charged with the responsibility of making sure thateverythingwasdone in theway thatwasmost likely tobring the favorof thegods.

Now imagine that you are a young woman and you’ve just discovered thatyou’repregnant.Youwantyourchildtobehealthyandyouwantthebirthtogosmoothly,soyoudecidetogouptothetempletogiveanofferingofsomegrainandwinetothegodorgoddesswhowatchesoverpregnantwomen.Youwanttodoeverythingyoupossiblycantogainthefavorofthechildbirthdeities.

Soyouleaveyourhouseandyougouptothetemple.Youleaveyourcommon,ordinary,everydayspaceandyougouptotheholy,sacred,divinespace,whereyoumeetwiththepriests—holy,sacred,uncommon people set apart from the masses to do the holy, sacred work ofrunningthetempleandorganizingthesacrificesandkeepingthegodspleased.

Youdothisbecauseyourlifeisdividedintotwokindsofspaceandtime.Thereisthesacred,andthereisthecommon.Thereisyourhouse,andthereisthetemple.Thereistheholy,andthereistheordinary.Thereisthedivine,andthereistheeveryday.

Youwouldnevertakeyourdogintothetemplearea,inthesamewaythatyouwouldneverexpectapriesttoshowupatyourhousetohelpunclogyourdrain.

Let’spausehere tonote two significant thingsbriefly:One, this emergenceofaltarsandtemplesandreligiousritesinhumanhistorywasn’tabadthing;itwasanearlything.Earlyinourevolutionwehumansbecameacutelyawarethatour

existencewasat themercyofforcesbeyondourcontrol, likerainandsunanddisease and natural disasters. This was actually a rather sophisticateddevelopment,aclickforward,becauseitwasrootedintheacknowledgmentthattherearedimensionstorealitythatareunseen.

To point out the second thing, I take you back there to the birth of religion,becausethatearlydivisionbetweenthesacredandthecommonisaliveandwelltoday. There’s a church near where I used to live that did a survey of itscongregation,askinghowimportantpeople’sspirituallivesweretothem.

Spirituallives?Asopposedtotheirotherlives?

Whydomanychurches celebrate someonebeing“called” intoministrybut sofewcelebratewhenpeoplearecalledintolawormedicineorbusinessorartormakingburritosorbeingamother?

Ican’t tellyouhowmany timesasapastor Ihave interactedwithpeoplewhowere talking about their job and then said something along the lines of, “Youknow,it’sanormaljob,notlikebeingapastorordoingsomethingspirituallikethat.”

I make these two observations because what we see in the Jesus story is theleavingbehindofthisdivisionsothathumanhistorycanmoveforward.InoneoftheaccountsofJesus’sdeathwereadthatthecurtaininthetempleofGod—theonethatkeptpeopleoutoftheholiestplaceofGod’spresence—ripped.

OneNewTestamentwritersaidthatthisrippingwasapictureofhow,becauseofJesus,wecanhavenew,directaccesstoGod.

Abeautifulidea.

But the curtain ripping alsomeans thatGod comesout, thatGod is no longerconfinedtothetempleasGodwaspreviously.

God,ofcourse,wasneverconfinedbyabuilding.Thepointofthestoryisthat

ourunderstandingofGodwas.

TheJesusstory,then,isaradicalnewstage,ormaybewecouldsayclick,inourunderstandingofGod.

Atempleismeaningfulandusefulandhelpfulbecauseitgiveshumansawayofconceivingoftheideaoftheholyandsacred.Toseesomethingassacred,youhave to set whatever it is apart and name it and label it and distinguish it assacred.Thisisbecauseyoucannotcomprehendeverythingbeingholyandsacreduntilyoucangrasptheideathatsomethingisholyandsacred.Youhavetostartsomewhere.But ifyoudon’tkeepgoing,keepmoving,keepevolving, there isthedangerthat individingrealityupitwillstaydivided, leadingpeopletoseeeverything else—everything besides that sacred thing—as common, average,ordinary,andmundane.

Youhavetoconstructatempletoteachtheideaofholyandsacred,butindoingthatyouriskthatpeoplewillincorrectlydividetheworldupintotworealmsanddistinctionsthatdon’tactuallyexist.

This iswhy theJesus story is somassive,progressive,and forward-looking inhuman history. Jesus comes among us as God in a body, the divine and thehumanexistingin thesameplace, inhisdeathbringinganendto the ideathatGodisconfinedtoatemplebecausethewholeworldisatemple,thewholeearthisholy,holy,holy,astheprophetIsaiahsaid.

Or,asoneofthefirstChristiansputit,wearethetemple.

There’sanewplacewhereGoddwells,andit’sus.

Formore on this leap in howwe understand the nature of reality,we’ll go toanother table, this one on the night Jesus was betrayed. Surrounded by his

followers, eating a lastmeal, he gave them bread andwine, telling them thatthoseordinaryfoodswerehisbodyandblood,tellingthemthatwhenevertheygathered and took the bread andwine itwould be an enduring experience forthem of the new life he was giving them through his life and death andresurrection.Indoingthis,hewastreatingcommonbreadandwineasholyandsacredbecauseforhimallbreadandwineareholyandsacred.Andallbreadandwineareholyandsacredtohimbecausealloflifeissacredandholy,andthat includesall interactions, events, tasks, conversations,work,words, andofcoursejobs.

The ancient sages say that when Moses comes across the burning bush, hedoesn’t takehis sandalsoffbecause suddenly thegroundhasbecomeholy;hetakes his sandals off because he’s just now realizing that the groundhas beenholythewholetime.

Youareonholygroundwhereveryouare,andJesuscomestoletusknowthatthewholeworld is a temple becausewe’re temples, all of life is spiritual, allspacesacred,allgroundholy.Hecomestoheightenoursensesandsharpenoureyes to thatwhichwe’ve been surrounded by thewhole time;we’re just nowbeginningtoseeit.

Temples,then,andchurchservicesandworshipgatheringscontinuetohavetheirplaceandpower inour lives to thedegree towhichmomsandbusinesspeopleandgroundskeepersandlawyersandplumbersandpeoplewhostocktheshelvesof the grocery store and teachers and toll-booth collectors and farmers andgraphicdesignersandtacomakersallgatheraroundatablewithbreadandwineonittoparticipateinJesus’songoinglifeintheworldasthey’reremindedthatall of life matters, all work is holy, all moments sacred, all encounters withothersencounterswiththedivine.

ForJesus,it’sneverjustajob,a conversation is never just an exchange of words, a meal is never just theconsumptionoffood,becauseit’sneverjust

breadandit’sneverjustwine.

Jesusdoesn’tdividetheworldupintothecommonandthesacred;hegivesuseyestoseethesacredinthecommon.Hecomestohelpusseethingsmore,morehowtheyactuallyare:thattheymatter,thatthey’reconnected,andthatthey’reheadedsomewhere.

It’seasyforeachnewdaytobecomelikeallourotherdays,isn’tit?

Wakeupandeat, thengotoworkorschoolorexerciseorheadto thegrocerystoreorreturne-mailsorwalkthedogorcallyourinsuranceagentortakethekidstosoccerpracticeorwritethattermpaperorwatchthatgameormowthelawn or go to the dentist or book that flight or all of the above—all withoutforgetting towater theplantsandpickupeggson thewayhomebeforefillingout theexpensereportandhanging the laundrybeforebrushingyour teethandgoingtosleepsothatyoucanwakeupinorderto

doitalloveragainthenextday.

Ourdayscaneasilybecomeablur,thepartsandpiecesblendingtogether,allofitlosingitsconnectionanddepthandsignificance;cutofffromanysensethatthere’swaymoregoingonhereuntilatreeisjustatree,aconversationmerelyasuccessionofwords,asongsimplynoiseinthebackground,ajobjustawaytogetapaycheck.

All of it reduced towhat it is at its surface, shallow level, separated from thesource.

Which takes us back to that nativity scene, to that baby Jesus with his tinyballed-upfists,totheinsistenceofthatchoirinthatsurfshopintheirsongthat

the divine and human can exist in the same place.Whenwe talk aboutGod,we’re talking about the Jesuswho comes to reunite and reconnect uswith thesacreddepth,holiness,significance,andmeaningofeverymomentofeveryday.

Jesus told a story about a kingwhowasmaking decisions about his subjects,separatingpeople“asashepherdseparatesthesheepfromthegoats.”Thesheep,welearn,aretheoneswhobroughtthekingfoodwhenhewashungryandwaterwhenhewasthirstyandclotheswhenhewasnakedandlookedafterhimwhenhewassickandvisitedhimwhenhewasinprison.

Thesheepareconfusedwhentheylearnoftheirgoodstandingwiththeking.

“Uhhhhhhh,king?”theyprotest.“Whenwereyouhungryorthirstyornakedorlonely or sick? We’ve never seen that!” They ask because of course theyunderstand the king to be quite wealthy, not lacking in basic necessities likefood,clothing,andfriends.

He responds, “Whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters ofmine,youdidforme.”

Thekingheremakestheastoundingclaimthatheissomehowpresentwithandstanding in solidaritywithallof them,and that loveandcareandcompassionshowntoothersisloveforhim.

Jesustellsstorieslikethisoneoften,storiesthatspeaktothedivinepresenceinevery single one of our interactions—a unity, power, and love present in allthings,hiddenrighthereinplainsight.

ThisstoryJesustoldraisesthehauntingquestion:Whatarewemissing?Isthereanentireworld,rightherewithinthisone,ascloseasourbreath,butwearen’tseeingitbecausewe’removingtoofast,we’reseparatedfromthesource,cutofffromthedepths,oureyesnotasopenastheycouldbe?

Jesuscomestohelpusseethingsastheytrulyare,movingforward,withgreaterandgreaterconnectivity,higherandhigherlevelsofhierarchyleadingtoholism

beyondevenusasallmatterispermeatedbytheredeemingenergyandpowerofGod.

ThefirstChristianshadawayof talkingabout thismassivemovement,biggerthananyoneofus,that’ssweepingacrosshumanhistory:theywrotethatGodisin theprocessofmoving everything forward so thatGodwill beoverall andthroughallandinall,andinanotherpassageintheBibleit’swrittenthatGoddoeswhatGoddoessothatGodmaybeallinall.Overandthroughandinandallinall.

ForGodtoberecognizedasallinall,then,wewillbecomemoreandmoreawareoftheunitingofallthedepthsanddimensionsofbeing—fromthephysicaltothespiritual,fromtheseentotheunseen,frommattertospiritandeverythinginbetween—asweseemoreandmoreoftheuniverseasthesingle,seamlessrealityit’salwaysbeen.

Aswe say yes to this invitation and call and pull,more andmore things thatwerepreviouslythoughttobeatodds—likescienceandfaith,thebrainandtheheart,logicandfeeling,joyandsuffering,havingexplanationsandnothavingexplanations—willbecomereconciledtoeachotherandtaketheirproperplaceasmoreandmoreweflourishandthriveinthislife,righthereandrightnow.

WhichremindsmeofmyfriendTim.

He’sacomedian,actor,motivationalspeaker,andauthor.HeusedtodoaradioshowonFridaymorningsinwhichhe’danswercallers’questionsliveontheairasanumberofdifferentcharacters.OneFridayhebegantalkingonairasanoldIrishpriest,callinghimselfFatherTimandinvitingpeopletoaskhimanythingthey’dliketoknow.FatherTimwasaninstanthit,somuchsothatTimdecidedtomakeapublicappearanceataradiopromotionalparty.DidImentionthatitwasaclassicrockstation?Wearingarobeandabigroundpriesthathe’dfound,he showedup at the party andgreetedpeople andwalked around smiling andtellingstories, as if itwere totallynatural tobedressedasapriestataclassicrockstationpromotionalparty.

DidIalsomentionthathe’sabsolutelyfearless?

Onewomantoldhimthatherhusbandhaddrivenanhourtoseehiminperson,addingthatshewassureherhusbandhad“neverbeenthisclosetoGod.”Otherpeoplecameuptohimandaskedhimtoblesstheirbabies.

Tim,itmightnotsurpriseyou,decidedtotakeitfarther.Hetookalargepieceofcardboardandcutasquareholeinit;thenhetooksomestripsofcardboardandglued them together to make a confessional window in his cardboardconfessionalwall.ThenhewentdowntownlateonaweekendnighttoacomedyclubinfullFatherTimrobeandhatandaskedthestagemanagerifhecouldgoon. The crowd, as they often are by this time,were quite rowdy, just as Timprefers them. He went up on stage, sat down in one of two chairs, put thecardboard confessional wall between him and the other chair, and asked ifanybodywantedtomakeaconfession.

Here’sthefascinatingpart:theydid—lotsofthem!Withinmomentspeoplewerelineduptopubliclyconfesstheirsinsinfrontofcompletestrangers.Inacomedyclub.LateonaFridaynight.

Itellyouthisstorybecauseoftenwecarryaroundsecrets,sins,doubts,regrets,and crippling fears thatwe simply don’t knowwhat to dowith.And so thosethings are in there, in us somewhere, lurking in the shadows, sapping us ofstrengthandvitality.

Asit’swritteninthePsalms,

WhenIkeptsilent,myboneswastedaway...

Inspiteofallthewaysthatwelivesplit,detached,andcompartmentalizedlives,weknowthatthisisnothowit’ssupposedtobe,becauseourbodiesandmindsandhearts andconscienceswant tobeunited.Whenwe’re talkingaboutGod,then,we’retalkingaboutthepowerpullingusforward,theawarenesswehavethat when something is eating us up inside it’s not right to keep it hidden orrepressedorstuffeddowninthere.It’stheruachofGod,drawingthetruthoutofusso that thosedarkanddestructiveenergiesareno longerwastingourbonesaway.

WehavephrasesforthismovementofGodinourlives—wespeakofgettingsomethingoffourchest,wetalkabouthowgooditwastovent,we say afterwe’ve voiced some truth or doubt thatwe feel a thousand timeslighter,allofthislanguageblurringthelinebetweenourthoughtsandemotionsandbodies.

Whydoesrantingabouthowwereallyfeelcreatesuchreleaseinourchest?

Formany, theword confession is tied up inwhat they perceive to be archaicideasaboutGodandjudgmentandcondemnationandhowbadweareandhowGodjustcan’twaittocrushus.

Butconfession—confessionisaboutliberation,freedom,namingthedarknessandpainthatlieswithinand,innamingit,robbingitofitspower.

Jesustoldastoryabouttwomenwhowentuptothetempletopray.Onewentonandonabouthowgladhewasforallofthegoodthingshe’ddoneandhowhewasn’tlikeotherpeople,whiletheothermanstoodatadistanceandprayed,

“God,havemercyonme,asinner.”Jesussaidthatthesecondmanwenthomejustified.Or,aswemightsay,it’sthesecondmanwhowenthomefree.

Confessionislikereally,reallyhealthyvomit.Itmaysmellandgetalloverthefrontofyourshirt,butyoufeelbetter—youfeelcleansed—whenyou’redone.OvertheyearsI’vehadpeopleconfessallsortsofthingstome,fromtrivialandsometimesevenfunnytostrangeanddarkandviolentandillegal.Ialwaysfirstask them, “Have you told anybody else about this?” and a shockingly highnumberofpeoplesayno,nooneknowsaboutthis.

This isnotonlysad,butdestructive.Weneedeachother.Weneedfriendsandcommunity, people we can vomit all over, getting it out, confessing it, andsaying yes to the pull of God forward to live whole, integrated lives, wherenothingissplitorstuffedorrepressedorstifledorhidden.

ThisiswhythePsalms,thecollectionofprayersinthemiddleoftheBible,areso full of people asking God to do horrible, vengeful, violent things to theirenemies.

You’vefelt thatwaybefore, right?Likeyouwantedsomeonewhohurtyou tosuffer in a prolonged, excruciatingway?The Psalms show uswhat a healthy,vibrant spirituality looks like—you pray those impulses, you speak them, youdragthemupandletthempassthroughyourlips,howevermeanandnastyandcrueltheyare.

Andwhatyoudiscoverwhenyoudothisisthattheybecomelessthanwhattheyusedtobe.

Lesspressing,lessurgent,lesspowerful.Makealistofeverylastawfulthingyouwantdonetotheoneyouhate,andbytheendofyourlistmakingyouwillhavefarlessenergyforlistmaking.

Simplybybeinghonestaboutwhat’sreallygoingoninsideofyou,youliveless

andlessdivided.It’swrittenintheProverbsthat“aheartatpeacegiveslifetothebody.”Ofcourse.Themindandtheheartandthebonesandthebodyareallan interconnected, interrelated whole. When you’ve wronged someone orviolatedyourtrueselfanditremainsadeep,darksecret,itnegativelyaffectsallofyou.

ThisiswhatJesusdoes:hecomestointegrate,tomakewhole,totakeallthebitsand pieces and dis-integrated parts and bring them together, reconciling us toourselves and to theGodwhonever stops invitingus forward—theGodwho,reintegratingandreintegrated,finallytrulyisallinall.

Weallhaveashadowside,thepartofusinwhichourfearsandinsecuritiesandgreed and terror and worst suspicions about ourselves reside. It’s a churning,restless,darkplace,oftencontainingtruthsthatcancrippleuswithjustafleetingthought.

WhenItalkabouttheGodwhoiswithus,forus,andaheadofus,I’mtalkingaboutourfacingthatwhichmost terrifiesusaboutourselves,embracingitandfearing it no longer, refusing to allow it to exist separate from the rest of ourbeing,restingassuredthatwearelovedandwebelongandwearegoingtobejustfine.

Peopledealwiththeirshadowsideinanumberofways,themostcommonwaybeingtofindoutsideenemiesandpointtothem,demonizingthemandblamingthemfor long listsofperceivedevils.Thisstrategyoftendoesaveryeffectivejob of helping us avoid thatwhich lurkswithin us. Politicians and radio talk-showhostsandpastorscanbecomeveryskilledinthis,constantlypointingoutthedarknessandevilandtwistedwaysofotherstoavoiddealingwiththedoubtsandinsecuritiesandquestionstheybearintheirownbones.

Institutions can easily become shadow management systems, finely tuned tocompellingly convince people of how evil,wrong, dangerous, and threateningsomebodyelse—someotherpersonorgroup—is.

Peopleoftenrespondfavorably to thisshadowmanagementbecause it’smuch,mucheasierthanactuallyenteringintothedarkness.Andsothenumbersgrow,

the budget increases, and the system becomes more convinced of its ownimportanceandpower,allthewhileobscuringtheunspokenrealitiesthatlurkinthe center of it: fear, terror, and insecurity. It’s easy to crank up the rhetoric,identifying a new enemy each week, calling each one out, appearing to yourfollowerstobestrongandauthoritativeandwillingtotakeastand,butallofitinthe end a weak, shallow, desperate, pathetic, and broken exercise in shadowmanagement.

Butaswe’remoreandmoreopentotheongoingworkofGodintheworld,webecomemoreandmorepresenttoourdepths.

Remember, 96 percent of the universe is dark matter—a vibrant, pulsatingsourceofenergyfortheuniverse.Wedon’ttransformourshadowsidebydenialbutbyenteringintoit,embracingit,facingit,andnamingitbecausewebelieveGodiswithusandforus.

Whenwe do this—name our fears and sins and failures and own up to them,describingthemasclearlyasweareable—wepass throughthemintothenewlife on the other side.We have faced theworst about ourselves andwe havesurvived,makingusstrongin theonlysensethatactuallymatters.This iswhyresurrectionissocentraltotheJesusstory:hefacestheworstthatcanhappentoa person, and comes out the other side alive in a new way. It is not a falsestrengthwe gain, a posing and posturing and pretending, but a quiet, humble,groundedstrengththathasdonethehardworkoffacingourmosttroublinginnertormentsandthenwatchingthembetransformedintosourcesofvitalityandlife.

Tobehealthyandwhole, then,will always leadus tobecomemoreandmorefullypresent toourowndepths,which includeourshadowsideaswellasourdeepestdesires.

Jesusaskedaman,“Whatdoyouwant?”

A rather simple, straightforward question, and yet how many can answer it?Whatisityouwant?Whatisitthatyouwouldpayahighpriceforandendurehardshipforandovercomeanyobstacleputinyourwaytohave?Whatisitthatwouldgetyouupeverymorningthrilledforanotherday?

There’sareasonwhysomanypersonaltransformationsbeginwiththequestion,“Isthisallthereis?”

Godgivesusdesires,heart,passion,andlove—givesusdesiresforjustice,compassion,organization,order,beauty,knowledge,wisdom— and when we become separated from these desires, we losesomethingvitaltowhoweare.Formanyofus,welearnedquicklyhowtoadapt,whatauthorityfigureswantedfromus,andhowtoplaythegame.Thiscanbegood,andprofitable,andcanearnusallsortsofattentionandaccolades,butthiscan also violatewhowe are.We can become enslaved to the expectations ofothers,losingourtrueselfintheprocess.

The Greeks had a way of talking about the deep place within us where ourdesires reside: they called it our splagchnon.Splagchnon translates literally asbowelsorintestinesorgutsorinnards.Itcametorefertothepartofyoufromwhichyoutrulylive,theseatofyourbeingthatdrivesyoutomoveandactandtouchandfeel.

And sowhenwe talkaboutGod,we’re talkingabout thedivine ruachwho isconstantlyatworkinus,connectingustooursplagchnon,callingoutofusallkindsofresolveandfiberandspinewemaynotevenhaveknownwepossessed,givinguswhatweneedtofaceandknowandnameandembraceallthatistrueaboutus,fromourfearsandaddictionsanddoubtsandguilttoourdreamsanddesiresandhopesandlongings.

God,itturnsout,isfoundover,through,andinallofit.Whichincludes,ofcourse,ourbodies.

AfriendofminerecentlytoldmeaboutawomaninasmalltownintheMidwestwho started teaching a weeknight yoga class. It was the first yoga class evertaughtinhertown,yetasurprisinglylargenumberofwomenbeganattending.The teacher told my friend that a fascinating thing began happening in theclasses: severalof thewomen (differentoneseach time)wouldbeginweeping

partwaythroughtheclass,andtheywouldn’tstop.

Now, I assume you’re likemewhen I first heard about that class, and you’rethinking, “What’s the problem? It’s just yoga.” But the teacher quicklydeveloped a compelling theory aboutwhy thewomenwere crying. Yoga is aSanskritwordthatmeanstojoin,unite,orintegrate.Astheteachergottoknowtheparticipantsand listened to theirperspectiveson theclass, she learned thatformanyofthesewomen,itwasthefirsttimetheyhadeverbeentoldthattheirbodyisgoodandthatitisproperandhealthyforthemtohonorandrespectandcareforitasthesacredgiftthatitis.They’dneverhadsomeoneguidethemintheintentionalintegrationoftheirbodywiththeirrestoftheirbeing.

Have you ever known that someone was lying but you couldn’t give a veryarticulate explanation of how you knew, other than “I just know”? In aninterview with Harper’s Bazaar, Gwyneth Paltrow talked about a boyfriendshe’dhadwhofrequentlycheatedonher,whichshesaidshe“knewonacellularlevel,”thoughshe“boughthisstory.”

Sheknewonacellularlevel.

Wetellourselvesthatwearerational,logicalpeople,butweknowanumberofthings—things we’re sure of, positive of, certain of—because of gut feelings,heartfeltinclinations,cellsandmoleculestellinguswhat’srealandwhat’strue.

It’sbeenestimated thatourunconscious influences70percentofourbehavior.We’repickingupsignals frompeopleandplacesallday long.Weoftenknowwhenwe’re being followed,when someone can or can’t be trusted, and evenwhenwe’rebeingwatched.It’sastoundinghowmanywomenknowwhentheyaren’tsafe,eveniftheycan’ttellyouhowtheyknowthis.Muchofthiscomesfromwhat’scalledsubcorticalenergy,comingfromaplaceinourbodiesotherthanourrationalconsciousness.

Wearehighlyperceptivebeings,withlayeruponlayerofsensorycomplexity,allfinely tuned and precisely calibrated to pick up themillions of messages ourpersonalenvironmentissendinguseverysinglesecond.

Thisiswhyartspeakstoussodeeply.Ifyou’reinagalleryandyou’restandingin frontofapaintingandyouaren’tmovingbecausewhatyou’re seeing is sopowerful,chancesareifIaskyouwhyyou’redrawntothatpainting,youwon’tbeabletoexplainittome,otherthaninvagueterms.AsthelegendaryBritishtheologianKeithRichardsput it,“There’ssomethingprimordial in thewaywereacttopulseswithoutevenknowingit.”

What happened in the Western world several hundred years ago is that therational dimensions of our being gained a prominence over other ways ofknowing—specifically,overintuition.Thishadapowerfuleffectonthewayweprocessexternalstimuli,leadingmanyofustodiscounttheveryrealandreliableinformationourbodiesareconstantlyabsorbingfromtheworldaroundus.

TobeopentotheintegratingpowerofJesusinourlives,then,willmeanthatwearemore andmore connectedwithall of thewayswe know things, fromourlinear, logical, intellectualpowersall thewaydowntothehairsonthebackofournecks and the tightness inourguts.And this isn’t just about listeningandtrustingourbodies,butalsoaboutthefarmoreimportantresponsibilitywehavetohonorthemasthegiftstheyare.

Itwillnotstopthere,however,becausethemoreweareattunedtoourowndepthsandshadowsanddesires,themoreGodisallinallinourlives,andthemorewerealizethedepthsofinteractionbetweenusandothersineverygesture,conversation,andinteraction.

In the early 1990s several Italian neurobiologists were studyingmonkeys andhowtheirbrainswork.Whenamonkeyateapeanut,acertainmotorneuroninthe monkey’s brain would light up. But then the scientists learned somethingelse, somethingunexpected:when themonkeywatchedoneof the researcherseatapeanut,thosesamemotorneuronslitupagain.

Justfromwatching.

Related researchon thehuman brain led to the discovery thatwhen personAwatchespersonBeatapeanut,20percentofpersonA’smotorneuronslightupasifhe’seatingthepeanuthimself.

Youractionscausemybraintoactinveryspecificways.

Ever find yourself yawning because your friend just yawned? Ever reach foryourglassinarestauranttotakeadrinkandrealizethatyou’redoingitbecauseyourfriendacrossthetablejusttookadrink?

Samething.

Wedeeplyimpacteachother,andwearewaymoreconnectedandawareofwhateachother is doing than anyof us realize.We’re patterns and relationships ofenergy,movingthroughspaceandtime,madeofmillionsofcellsthataredyingand being replaced every second, alongwith the trillions of swirling, freneticatomsthatcompriseusinthissecondbutinthenextwillgoontobeothers.

Whenwe say thatwe had a draining conversationwith someone,who knowswhat kind of exchange was going on at a subatomic level? That personmayactuallyhavebeendrainingus.Itmaynotbejustafigureofspeech.

Whenwetalkabouthowthatpersontookapieceofus,didshereally?

Whenwesaythatsomebodysuckedthelifeoutofus,howdoweknowthathedidn’tdoexactlythat?

What themodernworlddid in its fascinationwithpartsandpieces is teachusthat we are individual, isolated human units, talking and conversing andinteracting but notmuchmore than that.Whatwe intuitively know, however,andwhatwe’relearningmoreandmorefromcurrentscience,isthatthere’swaymoregoingonbetweenusthanwefirstthought.

SowhenJesuscallsustoloveourneighbor,thisismorethanjustacommandoranethicalstatementoraruleoflife;it’satruthabouttheverynatureofreality.We are deeply connected with everybody around us, and our intentions andwordsandthoughtsandinclinationstowardthemmattermorethanwecanbegintocomprehend.

Therearedifferentkindsofengagementanddrain,and theyaffectus inmuchdifferentways.Whenahigh school studentwalksout at theendof taking theSATs, her brain is cooked. When you finish a five-mile run or an hour-longweight-lifting session, your muscles ache and you’re drenched in sweat. Butwhenyourfriend’smotherdiesandyougotothefuneral,that’sadifferentkindof fatigue. It drains not somuch your brain or yourmuscles as it drains yourspirit.Someeventsexhaustusataspiritlevel,inthesamewaythatsomepeoplecancrushourspirit ifweletthem.Learningtobepresenttoourdepthsmeanspayingattentiontoallinteractionsandthetolltheyexactorthelifetheybringtothatmostmysterious,elusiveaspectofourselveswecallspirit.

RememberEinstein’s discovery thatmatter is locked-up energy, and energy isliberated matter? You exert a gravitational pull on every object around you,includingpeople.Andthey’redoingthesame,attheexactsametime.

When we encounter someone inspiring, it may be way more than words oractionsthatshegivesus.Likewise,whensomeonemakessomethingforusandthengivesittousanditmeanssomethingtousandmovesus,wefeellikeapartof that person is present in the gift. It’s not because we’re superstitious; it’sbecauseapartofhimmayactuallybeinthegift.

Whenwetalkaboutthevibessomebodygivesoff,orthenot-so-goodfeelingwe’regettingfromsomeone,orwe’resurethatsomebodyisjealous,orharboringbitterness,ordistracted,ourbodiesaredoingthejobthathighlysophisticatedradarsystemsdo,pickingupsignalsandprocessingtheminrealtime.

Deep,asweknow,callstodeep.

Our body language and facial expressions and changes in posturewhenwe’reinteractingwith each other are so vast and varied that some of them can’t beconsciouslynoticeduntilthey’revideotapedandplayedbackinslowmotion.

Whenyouhavethesensethatsomeonehasmoretotellyoubutyoudon’tknow

how you know that, there’s a good chance that her body sent your body thatinformationfasterthanyourmindcouldnoticeit.

The brain alone is stunning in its endless ability to process and morph andtransforminresponsetoexternalstimuli.Thisiscalledneuroplasticity,andfromitwelearnthathowwefocusourattentionactuallyshapesourbrain.

Joyiscontagious,anddespairbringseverybodydown,andwhenpositiveenergyispresentandflowing,weallbenefit.

Thisiswhywefindsomanywritingsinthescripturesaboutthefruitofthespiritand not complaining and rejoicing and again rejoicing and being grateful andsaying thanksand rememberingwherewe’vebeen.AswearemoreandmoreopentoJesus’sintegratingworkinourlives,wearemoreandmoreawarethattheseclichésaboutpositiveenergyandgoodvibesandjoybeingcontagiousaretruefactsabouthowtheworldworks.

Events and environments act on us, and the more we are experiencing Godbringingtogetherallthedimensionsofourlives,themorewe’llbeawareofthepowerfuleffectoursurroundingsandinteractionsarehavingonus.

Onequickexampleinvolvingarchitecture:Youareaphototropicbeing,drawntolight, for anumberofbiological andphysiological reasons.Butyoualsohavelegsthatgettiredifyouhavetostandfortoolong.Sowhenyouenteraroom,youaredrawn to thewindow,butyouare alsodrawn to the chairs.Youwantlight,andyoualsowanttositdown.Whichisallfine,unlessthechairsarenotarrangedinfrontofthewindow.Whenthathappens,theroomdrawsyoutotwoplaces at the same time. This creates tension in your being, very real forceswithinyouthatareunresolved.

Now think about those contending forces on a larger scale. As modernconsciousnessbuiltaheadofsteamover thepastfewhundredyears,veryrealdynamicssuchas thesewereoftenpushed to theside,becausepeoplesaw theuniverse as more and more of a machine, engineered to be productive andefficient. Design and aesthetics and how things look and feel were often

relegatedtolesserstatus,renderedirrelevantbecausetheywereseenashavingverylittle todowithwhatcanbeempiricallymeasuredanddemonstrated, likeprofitandcostandproductivityandefficiency.

Butweareintegratedbeings,andaestheticsmatter.TheBibleitselfbeginswithGodtakinggreatjoyinhowthingslook.Colorandlayoutandfeelandlandscapeand furniture arrangement and shape and form and line and curve all matter,becausetheyaffectusinpowerfulandsublimeways.

Beautymatters,andaswearemoreandmorealivetothedivineruachatworkin the world, the more and more aware we will be of the importance of alldimensions of our being, because Jesus is at work saving and rescuing andredeemingandreconcilingallofus,unitingus,bringingusmoreandmoreintothefullandjoyouslifeGodintendsforus.

Backoncemoretothattablewiththebreadandwineonit.There’sareasonwhypeoplehavebeen taking thebreadandwineand remembering Jesus’s life anddeathandresurrectionforthepasttwothousandyears.

Weneedremindersofwhoweareandhowthingsactuallyare.

Andsowecometothetableexactlyasweare,somedaysontopoftheworld,otherdaysbarelygettingby.Somedayswefeellikeanumber,likeamachine,likeamerecog inamachine, severedandseparated from thedepthof things,thisdayfeeling likeall theothers.Otherdayswecomefeeling tuned in to thesong, fully alive, hyperaware of the God who is all in all. The point of theexperienceisn’ttocreatespecialspacewhereGodis,overandagainsttherestoflifewhereGod isn’t.Thepower is in the striking ability of this experience toopen our eyes all over again (and again and again) to the holiness and sacrednatureofalloflife,fromfamilytofriendstoneighborstomoneyandbreathandsexandworkandplayandfoodandwine.

That’sGodallinall,bringingtogetherallofourbodiesandourmindsandoursoulsandourspiritsandallthepartsandpiecesthatmakeusus,asoureyesare

openedinthegood,thebad,theugly,thebeautiful,theinspiring,andthegut-wrenchingtothepresenceinalloflifeoftheGodwhoiswithus,forus,andaheadofus.

EPILOGUE

Onelastthought.

In the New Testament there’s a letter that one of the first Christians, a mannamed Paul,wrote to his friends in a church in a city called Philippi. In thatletterhetellsthemthattheGodwhobeganagoodworkinthemwillbesureandcertaintocompleteit.Pauldoessomethingreally,reallycleverhereinthisletterthatmanyofhiscontemporaryJewishwritersoftendid:heusesparticularwordsin a particular order so that he can saymultiple things at the same time. Paulusesthewordsbeganandgoodworkandcompleteverydeliberately: thoseareloadedwords, because they’reused in that sameorder in theGenesis creationpoemthatbeginstheBible,apoemaboutamassivebangthatbroughttheworldinto being, bristlingwith explosive creative potential and possibility. SowhenPaul, a man thoroughly versed in the ancient Hebrew scriptures, uses thoseparticular words in that particular order in his letter to his friends, he’sconnectingtheirstorytothecreationoftheuniverse.

His point is that the same creative bang that formed the universe isunleashedinusthroughourtrustinwhatGodisdoingintheworldthroughJesus.Hisinsistenceisthatthisextraordinaryenergyinallitsdiverseandexpansiveformsisdeeplypersonalandreadilyavailableandonourside.

Ibelievethisistrue.

IbelieveyouandIareonlyscratchingthesurfaceofwhat’spossible.

We’rethesestrange,exoticcocktailsofdustandquarksandbloodandsoulandall that can’t be named, containing infinite depth and dimension and spirit,featherlessbipedsarguinganddividingourselvesupaboutallsortsofthingsthatare,intheend,completelymeaningless.

Isometimeswonderifit’sassimpleassayingyes,overandoverandoveragain,athousandtimesaday.

It’snot a complicatedprayer, less about thewords thanabout theopennessofyour heart, your willingness to consider that there may be untold power andstrengthandspiritrighthere,rightnow,ascloseasyournextbreath.Thisisn’taboutthesameoldmessageofmakingsomethinghappen;it’saboutwakingupto thatwhich isalreadyhappening,allaroundyouall the time, inand throughandoveryou,trustingthatGodiswithusandforusandaheadofus.

Onemorning recently Iwas surfing just after sunrise, and therewas only oneothersurferout. InbetweensetsheandIstartedtalking.Hetoldmeabouthisworkandhisfamily,andthen,afteraboutanhourinthewatertogether,hetoldmehowhe’dbeenanalcoholicandadrugaddictandanatheistandthenhe’dgottencleanandsoberandfoundGodintheprocess.Ashesattherefloatingonhisboardnexttome,ahundredorsoyardsfromshore,withnotacloudintheskyandthesurfaceofthewaterlikeglass,helookedaroundandsaid,“AndnowIseeGodeverywhere.”

Nowthat’swhatI’mtalkingabout.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I continue to find it pure joy toworkwith the fine folks atHarperOne.Theirintegrity,wisdom, passion, and excellence are extraordinarily inspiring tome.When I talk about them, I’m talking about Mark Tauber, Claudia Boutote,Michele Wetherbee, Laina Adler, Kathryn Renz, Suzanne Wickham, DarcyCohan, Lisa Zuniga, Terri Leonard, and of course the one and only MickeyMaudlin,whoseediting,endurance,andfriendshipmeantheworldtome.

Andtothink,we’rejustgettingstarted.

A big shout aswell goes toTimGreen at FaceOutDesign,Chris Ferebee fortwelve years of guidance, expertise, and fantastic salsa, and Rob Strong, Dr.Christopher Hall, and Dave and Sarah Vanderveen, Glenn Rogers, and theMighty Iris, who provided valuable feedback along theway.And yes,Glenn,I’mincludingthetimeyoufellasleeponthedeckinMexicolateatnightwhileIwasreadinganearlydraftofachapteroutloud.Iwillcontinuetoattributeyouractionstothestrengthoftequilaandnotthequalityofthecontent.

And thenK, forway toomany things tomention.Where exactlywould I bewithoutyou?

RESOURCES,NODS,NOTES,ANDAFEWSHOUT-OUTS

TheTitle

. . . isanod to theJapanesenovelistHarukiMurakami’smemoir,WhatITalkAboutWhenITalkAboutRunning,whichishisnodtoaRaymondCarvershortstorycollection,WhatWeTalkAboutWhenWeTalkAboutLove.

Hum

The familiar/unfamiliar line echoes DallasWillard, who begins his masterfulbookTheDivineConspiracytalkingaboutJesusandhow“presumedfamiliarityhasledtounfamiliarity,unfamiliarityhasledtocontempt,andcontempthasledtoprofoundignorance.”

ThestoryaboutJacobwakingupisfromGenesis28.

TheHelmutThielickequoteisfromTheTroublewiththeChurch.

For a spot-on analysis of the God problem, see Andrew Sullivan’s stunningessay at www.thedailybeast./newsweek/2012/04/01andrewsullivan-christianity-in-crisis.html.

Godneverexistedinthefirstplace.Inregardtothequestion“DoesGodexist?”Huston Smith makes a helpful distinction between absence of evidence andevidenceofabsenceinTheSoulofChristianity.

The quotes from Jane Fonda and her interviewer are from the June 2007anniversaryissueofRollingStonemagazine.

GroundofourbeingisaphrasefromPaulTillich.

IfyouarenewtoBanksy,IsuggestfirstyoureadhisbookWallandPieceandthenseehisfilmExitThroughtheGiftShop.Youwillneverbethesameagain.

I’mawarethatwithnessandfornessaren’treallywords.Untilnow,ofcourse.

Open

When it comes to the“Those thingsdon’thappen”discussion, I suggestYannMartel’sbookTheLifeofPi.

I first talked about some of the ideas in this chapter in my 2007 live filmEverythingIsSpiritual,whichyoucanfindatrobbell.com.

I.WelcometotheRedShift

TheworduniversecomesfromtwoLatinwords,unus,meaningone,andversus,meaningtoturn—thatis,“turnedintoone.”

If you’re interested in learningmore about the universe but youwant to readonlyonebook,IsuggestBillBryson’sAShortHistoryofNearlyEverything.Hemanages to make a staggering amount of information endlessly fascinating,whichisanextraordinarygift, tosaythe least,andonethat inspiredmein thewritingofthisbook,andespeciallythischapter.

13.7billionyears.Itneverceasestoentertainmehowthisnumberisoftenstatedwithsuchconvictionandprecision.Not13.6or13.8,but13.7.Whatdo thoseequations look like?How big is that chalkboard? (orwhiteboard or computerprogram or whatever . . .) Jump off the roof of your house. Often when I’mwritingI’llneedanexampleofsomethingandI’lltypethefirstthingthatcomesto mind and then later go back and read what I wrote and think to myself,“What? Jump off the roof of your house?Who uses examples like that?” Ormaybethebetterquestionis“Whojumpsofftheroofofhishouse?”Theanswerisme.Ihave,onanumberofoccasions.

Fitinateaspoon.Formore,seeio9.com.“Whatwouldateaspoonfulofneutronstardotoyou?”

Blackholes,darkmatter,anddarkenergy.Seeearthsky.orgforalarge-scalemapofdarkmatter(January9,2012,entry;type“large-scalemap”insearchbox).

“Dancingon theCeiling”? Ihaveno ideawhy Ipicked that song.Discussionquestionforyouandyourfriends:Whatisthesinglemostoverplayedsongfromtheeighties?“LivingonaPrayer”?“GirlsJustWanttoHaveFun”?DoIheara“WalkinginMemphis”?

No things, no time. Formore on the relationship between space and time andhow it affects the way we understand work and rest, I highly recommend

AbrahamJoshuaHeschel’sbookSabbath.

ItsconsistencyapersistentillusionisalinefromEinstein.

Bendy,curvy,relative.Foramind-bendinglookatallthatcurviness,seeLeonardShlain’sArtandPhysics.

Justforkicks,gotoanswers.comandask,“Howmuchenergydoesthesungiveoff?”

My favorite line fromEinstein? “I have a few splendid ideaswhichnowonlyneedincubation.”

II.WhoOrderedThat?

Clearly I’m not a scientist—let alone a quantum or theoretical physicist—sowhatyoufindhereinthissectionofthebookcomesfrommyhavingreadlotsofbooksbylotsofreally,reallybrilliantpeople.HereareafewI’mmostindebtedto, both for their insight and their intelligence and, more important, for theirabilitytomakeitallaccessibletoanaveragechaplikeme:Paul Davies for his book God and the New Physics (especially his insights into energy, time, andconsciousness)

LisaRandall for her bookKnocking onHeaven’sDoor (which includes a fascinating description of theLargeHadronColliderinchapter8)

LeonM.LedermanandChristopherT.HillfortheirbookQuantumPhysicsforPoets (inwhich they talkaboutdisplaywindowsandtoasters,amongotherthings)

FredA.WolfforhisbookTakingtheQuantumLeap:TheNewPhysicsforNonscientists

SeveralfascinatingYouTubeclipsalongtheselines:

•Quantum levitationdemonstrationat theNorthMuseum(Lancaster,PA) •RussellBrandinterviewingaquantumphysicistGrapplingwithsomethingbigger is fromanarticleon theHiggsBoson inTIMEmagazine,July23,2012.

22 quintillion. FromDr. PeterWittich, Cornell Center forMaterials Research(seemr.cornell.edu-Askascientist!)Toastershouldglowblue.ThisiscalledtheUltravioletCatastrophe.

III.YouDirtyStar,You

CrownedwithgloryandhonorisfromPsalm8.

A great book about being human:Made forGoodness by Desmond Tutu andMphoTutu.

Agreatquoteaboutbeinghuman:St.JohnofKronstadtsaid,“Neverconfusetheperson,formedintheimageofGod,withtheevilthatisinhim,becauseevilisbut a chance misfortune, illness, a devilish reverie. The very essence of theperson is the image of God, and this remains in him despite everydisfigurement.”

Agreatbookaboutthesacrednatureofthehumanbody:EchooftheSoulbyJ.PhilipNewell.

For more on hierarchy, see Ken Wilber’s A Brief History of Everything,particularlythefirstpartonnestedholons.

For more on what you do with the energies you’ve been given, see RonaldRolheiser’s fantastic book The Holy Longing. The first chapter alone, aboutMotherTeresa,PrincessDiana,andJanisJoplin,willbeworthit.

For more on unfolding consciousness across history, see Pierre Teilhard deChardin’sActivationofEnergy.

IV.TheSeaWe’reSwimmingIn

Twoexcellentbooksonthespiritualimplicationsofquantumtheory:QuantumLeap:How JohnPolkinghorneFoundGod in Science andReligion byDeanNelson andKarlGibersonQuantumTheologybyDiarmuidO’Murchu

Oneextraordinarybookonscienceandthehumanspirit:

Einstein’sGodbyKristaTippett

Onebrilliantbookbyabrilliantscientist:

TheLanguageofGodbyFrancisCollins

Principia’soriginaltitlewasPhilosophiaeNaturalisPrincipiaMathematica.

It’sfuntospeculateisfromSurfermagazine,April2012,p.38.

Both

RQ8F7double-edgedIncisotron.ObviouslyItotallymadethatup.Butwouldn’t

youlovetohaveone?

I’mnotabusinessman is froma remixof “DiamondsAreForever”byKanyeWest.

Because it’s there is from “Climbing Mount Everest Is Work for Supermen”interview,NewYorkTimes,March18,1923.

WhereGodjustwasisfromExodus33.

SawnoformofanykindisfromDeuteronomy4.

Who dwells in unapproachable light is from 1 Timothy. The wordunapproachable is thewordaprositos in the originalGreek—fromameaningnot,prosmeaningto,andeimimeaningtogo—thatis,“can’tgoto.”

SpiritislikethewindisspokenbyJesusinJohn3.

Onplowsandhoes,KenWilberdoesafascinatingbitinhisABriefHistoryofEverything.

Canamotherforget...?isfromIsaiah49.

Onasidenote,intheGenesispoemthatbeginstheBible,it’swrittenthatwearecreatedmaleandfemale,“intheimageofGod.”Thisisimportanttorememberwhenyouencounterchurchesandreligiouscommunitiesthatarerunbymenandmenonly,wheremendothespeakingandleadinganddecisionmaking.Whenthe femalevoice is repressedandstifled, theentirecommunitycaneasily findthemselves cut off from the sacred feminine, depriving themselves of the fullimageofGod.Interestingtonotethat intheCatholicChurch,withitsall-maleleadership,MotherMaryplayssuchaprominentrole.Anotherexampleofhowthe sacred feminine can’t be denied; she will express herself somehow. Shemoves,afterall,inmysteriousways.(CueU2song.)Formoreonparadox,seeParkerPalmer’sclassicbookThePromiseofParadox.

Formoreonfaithanddoubt,seePeterBergerandAntonZijderveld’sInPraiseofDoubt.

LikeatreeisanodtoPsalm1.

Pete’squotecomesfromHow(Not)toSpeakofGodbyPeterRollins.

With

Formoreon theGodwhoissomewhereelse, readJohnRobinson,whowritesinsightfullyaboutthisinHonesttoGod.

I’mindebtedtoanumberofgreaterwritersfortheirwordsaboutseeing.Ifyouwanttoreadmore,Irecommend:EverywherePresentbyStephenFreemanGodHidesinPlainSightbyDeanNelsonAnAltarintheWorldbyBarbaraBrownTaylor

andofcoursetheclassic

ThePracticeofthePresenceofGodbyBrotherLawrence

Massivewall of pink and yellow. The installation is by PeterWegner and it’scalledGuillotineofSunlight,GuillotineofShade. Itcontains1.4millionsheetsof paper in 40 different colors. For more about Peter Wegner’s work, go topetewegner.com.

Ruachoccursover380timesintheHebrewBible.

Ican’tsayenoughaboutJürgenMoltmann’sincrediblebookTheSpiritofLife,which has been a huge inspiration tome and helped shapemy thinking aboutruach.

ThewholeearthisGod’s.Psalm24.

Godrenewsthefaceoftheearth.Psalm104.

Onthebreadthandpowerofruachenergy,seePsalm33.

AslongasIhavelifeisfromJob27.

ThewriterinEcclesiastesusesthesewords:“Andthedustreturnstothegrounditcamefrom,andtheruachreturnstoGodwhogaveit”(12:7).

Onruachgarnishingtheheavens,seeJob26.

Onruachbringingthingsintoexistence,seePsalm104.

WherecanIgo?isfromPsalm139.

Kavod. The root is K-B-D, and it also means liver or interior or soul or beimportant aswell asheavy.Hebrewwords arequite limber like that. I used ithere in a positive sense of something thatmatters, butmuch of its use in thescriptureswhenit’stranslatedheavyisnegative,asinoppressiveorsevereora

burden.When it’s usedpositively, it’s usually asglory, as in1Chronicles16,whereDavidsays,“DeclareGod’sglory...”

Everythingisultimatelyconnectedtoeverythingelse.Forastunningexampleofhoweverythingisconnected,seeTheSpiritLevel:WhyGreaterEqualityMakesSocietiesStrongerbyRichardWilkinsonandKatePickett, inwhichWilkinsonandPickett show statistically how thewider the gap between the rich and thepoorinacountry,theworseofftherichare.

TheLORDisoneisfromtheShemaprayer,foundinDeuteronomy6.

DeepcallstodeepisfromPsalm42.

Subsurfaceunity isa linefromacommencementspeechDavidFosterWallacegaveatKenyonCollege,Ohio,in2005.

TelosisfoundfortytimesintheNewTestament.

TheOffice.It’sbeenfascinatingtoseetheoriginalBritishseriesandthearcasitunfolded over two seasons, in contrast with the American version, which inmanywaysgoestheoppositedirection.

SeeingandhearingisfromMatthew13.

ShehasdoneabeautifulthingtomeisfromMark14.

MaytheeyesofyourheartbeenlightenedisfromEphesians1.

For

GodlovesusisfromJohn3.

Eight-pound six-ounce newborn infant is from the book of Talladega Nights—“Shake’nBake,thatjusthappened.”

Thepoorinspirit/blessingisfromMatthew5.

The nobodies is drawn from chapter 4 of Dallas Willard’s The DivineConspiracy.

Repent is the word metanoia in Greek: meta meaning change (as inmetamorphosis)andnoiameaningtothinkorperceive—thatis,“toseeinanewway,tohaveanewmind.”

ToucheslepersisfromMatthew8.

HearsthecryisfromMatthew20.

DineswithtaxcollectorsisfromMark2.

Talkswith...SamaritanwomenisfromJohn4.

CameforthesickisfromLuke5.

NewwineinoldwineskinsisfromMatthew9.

Firsttellshisfollowersthathe’sgoingtobekilledreferstoMatthew16.

Mygod,myGodisfromMatthew27(whichisfromPsalm22).

InregardtotheearlyChristiansseeingtheresurrectionasheraldinganewerainhumanconsciousness,note thatwhen theApostlePaulwrites tohis friends inCorinth (1 Corinthians 15), he calls Jesus’s being raised on the third daysomethingof“firstimportance.”

Jesustalkedabout...fruitdrawsonMatthew7and13andJohn15.

FullnessofGodresidinginChristisfromColossians2:9.

Causesthesuntorise...andsendsrainisfromMatthew5.

Ahead

EyeforeyeisfromExodus21.

WhenyougotowarisfromDeuteronomy21.ManythankstoWilliamWebbforhisinsightfulwritingonthispassage.

Therearemorethan435Hootersrestaurantsintheworld.

GodcallsamannamedAbraham.ThestoryofAbrahambeginsinGenesis12.

LighttotheGentilesisfromIsaiah49.

LetyourlightshineisfromMatthew5.

Nuclearweapons.IwroteaboutthiswithDonGoldeninourbookJesusWantstoSaveChristians.

BecauseheisnotoneofuscomesfromLuke9.

Abookaboutpeoplehavingtheirmindsblown.SeePeter’svisioninActs10.

So

Italkedaboutthebirthofreligioninmy2008livefilmTheGod’sAren’tAngry,whichyoucanfindatrobbell.com.

RippedisfromMark15.

Ontheconceptofnew,directaccesstoGod,seeHebrews10.

Holy,holy,holyisfromIsaiah6.

TheideathatGodisconfinedtoatemple.IsaythiswhilealsoacknowledgingthattheseideaswerealreadypresentinJewishthoughtyearsbeforeJesus,likein1Kings8whereSolomonsaysafterbuildingthetemplethat“Theheavens,eventhehighestheaven,cannotcontainyou.HowmuchlessthistempleIhavebuilt!”

Wearethetempleisfrom1Corinthians6.

Thereferencetothehumanbodyasatempleisfrom1Corinthians6.

AccountsofJesusonthenighthewasbetrayedarefoundinMatthew26,Mark14,Luke22,andJohn13.

For an extraordinary essay on the Eucharist, seehttp://www.firstthings.com/onthesquare/2012/03/do-this.

EphremtheSyrianprayedinthefourthcentury:

Thespiritisinyourbread,thefireinyourwine,amanifestwonder,thatourlipshavereceived.

Stephen Freeman offers profound insights on the Eucharist in his bookEverywherePresent.

MosestakingoffhissandalsisfromExodus3.

Holy the whole time. The word holy is related to the word holistic, which isconnected to the words whole and heal and hale (as in “hale and hearty”).Holinessisthebringingtogetherofthingsintheirentirety,healthyandcomplete.

Reunite and reconnect us to sacred depth is from Colossians 1, where theApostlePaulwritesthatthroughtheshedbloodofJesus,Godisreconcilingallthings,whetherthingsonearthorthingsinheaven.

AsashepherdseparatesthesheepfromthegoatsisfromMatthew25.

OnGodasallinall,see1Corinthians15.

OnGodbeingthroughandoverall,seeEphesians4.

Things that were previously thought to be at odds. For more on nondualawareness,readRichardRohr’sTheNakedNow.

FormoreonmyfriendTimCusack,gototimcusack.com.

WhenIkeptsilentisfromPsalm32.

God,havemercyonme,asinnerisfromLuke18.

ForaPsalmaboutdestructiveimpulses,seePsalm35.

AheartatpeacegiveslifetothebodyisfromProverbs14.

Whatdoyouwant?isfromMark10.

SplagchnonisfoundintheNewTestamenteleventimes.

KnewonacellularlevelisfromaninterviewwithGwynethPaltrowinHarper’sBazaar,March2012.

SomethingprimordialisfromKeithRichards’sautobiography,Life,p.244.

Formoreonmonkeysandsubcorticalenergy,seeDanielJ.Siegel’sgreatbookMindsight:TheNewScienceofPersonalTransformation.

Talkingaboutspirit,ChristopherMcDougallhasaquoteinhisbookBorntoRun(at the beginning of chapter 30) from the Olympic champion Herb Elliot: “Icametorealizethatspirit,asmuchormorethanphysicalconditioning,hadtobestoredupbeforearace.”

Iamdeeply indebted toDr.TimRoyerand the fine folksatNeurocore forallthey’vetaughtmeaboutthebrainandhowitaffectseveryareaofourlives.

For more on chairs and windows and sun—on the relationship betweenarchitectureandspirit—Ihighlyrecommendthefollowing:The Timeless Way of Building by Christopher Alexander Between Silence and Light: Spirit in theArchitecture of Louis I.Khan by JohnLobell101 Things I Learned in Architecture School byMatthewFrederick.

FruitoftheSpiritisfromGalatians5.

ComplainingisfromPhilippians2.

RejoicingisfromPhilippians4.

GratefulisfromPsalm18.

Givingthanksisfrom1Thessalonians5.

RememberingisfromExodus13,Mark8.

GodtakinggreatjoyinhowthingslookisareferencetoGenesis1.

Epilogue

BegangoodworkcompleteisfromPhilippians1.

AndnowIseeGodeverywhereremindsmeoftheJesuitsaying“SeeingGodinallthings,”whichremindsmeofafantasticbookaboutseeingcalledSeeingGodinAllThings:TheJesuitGuideto(Almost)EverythingbyJamesMartin,SJ.

TwoLastNotes

HerearesomeawesomewordsandphrasesandsentencesIstumbleduponinmyresearch that deserve to be repeated for no particular reason other than theenjoymentofwordsandtheirendlesssounds,meanings,andcombinations:relicdensity

displacedvertex

propensityandpower

thehistoryoffishes

theabilityof infinity tobeboosted inmagnitudeandyetstill remain thesamesizeapossibleplanetcalledVulcan

theEnglert-Brout-Higgs-Guralnik-Hagen-Kibblemechanism

superhumancreativerestlessness

breathedeeplyandunfurlenergies

formsandconfigurationsassumedbythedivinespirit’storrentofenergysoundsofallproteancreation

planetaryregeneration

aradiancewhichnospacecancontain

drivingvitalpower

unrestrainedspeculativeexuberance

kinematically

comprehensivereferenceforlife

sensorysociality

permeationofallmatterbygrace

indescribableelegance

ceaselessbecoming

impellingpotency

enhancedfluidity

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

ROBBELL is a bestselling author and international teacher and speaker.HisbooksincludetheNewYorkTimesbestsellersLoveWins,VelvetElvis,SexGod,Jesus Wants to Save Christians, Drops Like Stars, and the forthcoming TheZimzumofLovewithhiswife,KristenBell.In2011,hewasnamedoneofTIMEmagazine’s 100 most influential people. He and Kristen have three children.Visittheauthoronlineatwww.robbell.com.

Discovergreatauthors,exclusiveoffers,andmoreathc.com

ALSOBYROBBELL

LoveWinsVelvetElvisSexGod

JesusWantstoSaveChristiansDropsLikeStars

TheLoveWinsCompanion

CREDITS

Coverdesign:DwightBeenandNOONSF

Authorphotograph:©DavidTosti

COPYRIGHT

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