WHAT GIFTED KIDS WANT THEIR PARENTS TO KNOW

ILLINOIS ASSOCIATION FOR GIFTED CHILDRENFEBRUARY 2, 2019

PRESENTED BY:

MICHELE M. KANE, ED.D.

PROFESSOR

NORTHEASTERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY, CHICAGO, IL;

EMAIL: M-KANE1@NEIU.EDU

PHONE: 773.442.5594

#1 HELP US LEARN HOW TO FAIL

• People say it is OK to make mistakes but their words and actions can be inconsistent

• Failure is an uncomfortable feeling—what do I do?

• Adults can model/explain when they make mistakes and how they recover

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC

#2 IF WE SAY WE WANT TO TRY SOMETHING THAT YOU THINK IS WEIRD, WACKY, ZANY, OR JUST PLAIN SILLY, GIVE US A CHANCE; AFTER ALL YOU RAISED US

• Trust is a two-way street

• Creative experiences often are messy, problematic, and illogical

• Innovation and design come from the unfamiliar

• Playful experiences enhance well-being

#3 REMEMBER THERE IS MORE TO US THEN ABOVE THE NECK; WE NEED HELP TO LEARN TO BE IN OUR BODY

We may not feel as competent with

our physiology and need support to do

so

Often physical development may lag behind or be

asynchronous

Well-being requires a

balanced lifestyle including physical

activity

Yoga, tai-chi, mindful

movement, walking a labyrinth

are ways to be centered

#4 THERE WILL BE PEOPLE, SUCH AS SCHOOL ADMINISTRATORS, WHO DO NOT BELIEVE YOUR CHILD NEEDS ANYTHING DIFFERENT IN THE SYSTEM. IF THAT HAPPENS THEN DON’T BE AFRAID TO GO OUTSIDE THE SYSTEM.

Explore enrichment and acceleration as

possibilities—know your rights

Tap into online resources for games,

competitions,

Music, world languages, sports/dance, creative

arts can enhance a concentrated academic

experience

Let your child lead the way

#5 IT IS LIKELY THAT YOUR GIFTED KIDS ARE ESPECIALLY BAD AT TIMING AND SCHEDULING AND WILL NEED SUPPORT.

Executive functions (planning, organizing, transitions, prioritizing,

self-regulation) are a product of development; age 25 for the pre-

frontal cortex to fully develop is the best guess

There are endless possibilities for a creative thinker—it can be tough to

pick one and get started

Provide support by the use of timers, watches, planners, study

buddy, color coding

Use visuals/icons such as notes on the mirror, white boards, tags

AGE IS A NON-ISSUE WHEN BEING GROUPED WITH OLDER KIDS. THAT IS THE “REAL WORLD”---YOU HAVE WORK AND SOCIAL PEERS WHO VARY FROM YOU IN AGE, RIGHT?

Different peers are needed for different situations; academic, athletics, faith-based, age-based/social

01Ageism is a real issue faced by many gifted kids so provide self-advocacy assistance

02Check out the research if you or school personnel insist on age-based grouping (see A Nation Deceived and The Acceleration Act)

03Use “social stories” for instilling confidence in unfamiliar/novel situations

04

TRUST YOUR KIDS. IF THEY SAY THEY ARE DOING X THEN THEY ARE PROBABLY GOING TO DO X SAFELY SO LEARN TO ASK DEEPER AND DEEPER CLARIFYING QUESTIONS TO GET INFORMATION INSTEAD OF A BLANKET “NO”

Decision-making skills begin early; model this explicitly as a family such as when deciding what movie to watchModel

Help with critical thinking and unpack ideas to get to the core intention (detention = experience)Thinking

Be sure safety nets are in place in case your child needs a break from the family; adolescence is time for breaking away (be explicit about your family boundaries/rules)

Safety Net

Know the law and help your kids understand where you might have discretion as a parent and where you might notKnow

WE NEED STRATEGIES TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BEING INTENSE AND SENSITIVE—SOMETIMES LIFE FEELS DOWNRIGHT OVERWHELMING AND SCARY AND WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT

Provide opportunities for calm, relaxing

experiences aligned to child’s profile (water,

exercise, music)

Help to develop a feelings vocabulary for

understanding (see Atlas of Emotion

website-Eckmans)

Use bibliotherapy and videotherapy (Some of

My Best Friends are Books)

Mindfulness strategies are essential and

effective (apps galore); solid research base (Center for Greater

Good)

AUDITING CLASSES AT COLLEGE IS AN OPTION THAT EXISTS AND CAN EASE THE TRANSITION AND STILL DELIVER THE ADVANCED CONTENT

1

Career planning begins long before Junior Year (consider career options, multi-potentiality, gap year possibilities, career research, know new developmental trends)

2

Use online resources like O*Net, OOH, and professional organizations for career exploration

3

Understand the implications of AP classes/credits; CLEP, and dual enrollment

4

Visit college classes early in educational path and see if your child can just sit in on one or two local or community college classes to ease the transition

HELP US FEEL LIKE WE CAN COME HOME IF WE GET A B

• Be clear about academic expectations and discuss them often

• Consider how eustress (positive stress) adds to overall stress profile

• Make sure that your child knows that support is in place for rough patches (who are safe people at school and within family)

• Know the languages of love and what helps your child to feel understood, loved and supported