Running head: CULTURAL INTERVIEW 1

Cultural Interview

Robyn Polsfut

University of Lethbridge

March 29, 2014

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

Cultural Interview

On March 12, 2014 I interviewed Sally (name changed for privacy) a woman who

culturally identifies as Mexican and has been residing in Canada for the past 10 years.

Prior to the interview I sat down with Sally and obtained full consent for the interview

process, its transcription, and academic writing about the contents of the interview (See

Appendix A). Central themes to Mexican culture are familism and rigid gender roles

(Rodriguez, Mira, Paez, & Myers, 2007). Sally’s upbringing in Mexico reflects these

themes. In migrating to Canada a number of multicultural constructs are pertinent to

Sally’s experience, which include the aforementioned familism and gender roles, as well

as, cultural identity development, acculturation, and biculturism. I will explore these

theoretical constructs and their impact on counselling practice considerations from a

multiculturally competent standpoint.

Multicultural Constructs

Familism

Familism can be defined as putting one’s family before the self (Schwartz, 2007).

Familism is a hallmark of Hispanic culture that does not exclusively pertain to attitudes

and values within the family system, but also to larger cultural values such as

collectivism and interdependence (Rodriguez, Mira, Paez, & Myers, 2007). Family

values have a significant impact on one’s worldview, thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

Values central to familism are loyalty, respect of elders and authority figures, and family

honour (Rodriguez, Mira, Paez, & Myers, 2007).

This rich value of family and placing family before the self creates an

understanding that one person’s wellness is not as important as the wellness of the group.

2

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

Another distinct marker of Hispanic culture is collectivism (Schwarts, 2007). Neighbours

and community members band together to share resources in order to maintain

community wellness. This could be sharing a meal, helping with home repairs, or looking

after children. The values of loyalty and respect are an integral part of this group

collectivism. Throughout the interview process conversation came back to concepts

rooted in familism.

Gender Roles

Another hallmark of Mexican culture is rigid and well-defined gender roles

amongst men and women. Diaz-Guerrero (1992, p. 24) describes two familial structures

that contribute to this gender-divide, “(1) the unquestioned and absolute supremacy of the

father; and (2) the necessary and absolute self-sacrifice of the mother.” While Sally’s

family was not structured in such an absolute way there was a heavily gendered sense of

accumulation. In Mexican culture the most basic logic of accumulation is that a man’s

domain is in the marketplace, accumulating in an economic, monetary way (Parrado &

Flippen, 2005). Women on the other hand, accumulate household work that primarily

goes unpaid (Parrado & Flippen, 2005). The gendered concepts of accumulation are seen

across Mexican culture with men’s labour being favoured in the marketplace and many

men becoming the breadwinner of the family (Parrado & Flippen, 2005).

It is important to note that the traditional role of women in Mexican culture does

not mean that it is a disrespected role. Women are honoured for their family work and

exercise actively the concepts of familism (Diaz-Guerrero, 1992). The key is to

understand the two distinct domains of Mexican society and culture that men and women

primarily adhere to.

3

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

Cultural Identity Development

Cultural identity development is a lifelong process that very much so conforms to

the motto developmental stage over chronological age (Arthur & Collins, 2010; Corey,

2009). Meaning, the process of developing and retaining cultural characteristics is

individual and not necessarily based on something as absolute as age (Arthur & Collins,

2010). Cultural identity development is a multi-dimensional process where factors such

as, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and socioeconomic status all interact

and define an individual (Schwartz, Zamboanga, & Weisskirch, 2008). Cultural identity

cannot be understood based on one of these factors alone all must be understood in

relation to one another (Arthur & Collins, 2010; Schwartz, Zamboanga, & Weisskirch,

2008).

One’s cultural identity is fluid with different factors becoming salient at different

times (Arthur & Collins, 2010). In undergoing a major migration, as Sally has, aspects of

one’s cultural identity may shift, change entirely, stay the same, and rearrange in order of

salience to the individual (Parrado & Flippen, 2005). With this significant rearranging of

identity factors coupled with submersion in an entirely different culture the process of

acculturation becomes observable.

Acculturation

Acculturation is the dual process of psychological and cultural change that takes

place as a result of contact between multiple cultural groups (Berry, 2005). Often

immigrants will adopt one of four strategies for adjusting to the receiving society;

separation, assimilation, marginalization, or biculturalism (Schwartz & Zamboanga,

2008). The separation strategy is marked by complete maintenance of one’s cultural

4

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

identity (Arthur & Collins, 2010). Assimilation is a unidirectional strategy with the

individual is actively trying to shed their culture of origin in order to fit into the receiving

culture (Arthur & Collins, 2010). Marginalization is marked by a disconnect between

culture of origin and receiving culture (Berry, 2005). Some individuals taking on the

marginalization strategy have been described as unknowing that they are cultural beings

(Schwartz & Zamboanga, 2008). Lastly, biculturalism is a strategy marked by cultural

integration and an individual’s ability to function effectively in culture of origin and

receiving culture (Arthur & Collins, 2010). Biculturalism will be discussed in greater

detail in the next section of this paper.

An individual’s choice of acculturation strategy is often based on two decisions:

(1) a decision as to how much of their cultural identity they want to maintain; and (2) a

decision about their desired level of contact with the receiving culture (Arthur & Collins,

2010). Another dimension of acculturative strategy choice is the level of acculturative

stress the individual perceives. Acculturative stress is perceived pressure to conform to

meet the present cultural demands when one’s personal cultural resources are not

adequate for this task (Lueck & Wilson, 2011). Lueck and Wilson (2011) describe four

factors that are important to understanding acculturative stress: type of acculturating

group, the nature of the receiving culture, acculturative strategy, and demographic, social

and psychological factors of the individual.

Type of acculturative group refers to the individual’s power over the choice to

migrate. A resiliency factor to combat feeling acculturative stress in this category is being

an adult who has chosen to migrate, which describes Sally at her time of migration. Low

choice over the decision to migrate may increase acculturative stress (Lueck & Wilson,

5

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

2011). The nature of the receiving culture is especially important. Migrating to a new

culture may be less stressful when the receiving culture has multicultural policies and

protections in place, as Canada does with the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms

(Esses & Gardiner, 1996; Lueck & Wilson, 2011). Those immigrants who actively seek

an integrated or bicultural identity are likely to experience less acculturative stress than

those taking the separation or marginalization strategy (Lueck & Wilson, 2011).

Acculturative processes are central to the experience of anyone who has migrated.

Biculturism

As previously stated, biculturalism is an individual’s ability to effectively

function in their culture of origin as well as the new host culture (Arthur & Collins,

2010). Current research supports the notion that a bicultural identity will encourage

cultural and psychological health and wellbeing (Arthur & Collins, 2010; Berry, 2005;

Lueck & Wilson, 2011; Schwartz & Zamboanga, 2008). Central to being able to develop

this identity is in-depth personal insight that relates to the multiple cultural contexts the

individual is a part of (Arthur & Collins, 2010). While the concept of biculturism was not

a significant part of my conversation with Sally it is an important concept to people who

have migrated, and is relevant to her current cultural identity and context.

Application of Multicultural Constructs with Interview

The multicultural constructs explored above are integral to understanding Sally’s

experience as a woman who has migrated from Mexican and been residing in Canada for

a significant period of time. While these constructs are important, Sally has her own

unique experience with all of them that will be discussed below. One’s cultural identity

cannot be understood based on a single factor alone all factors must be understood in

6

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

relation to one another (Arthur & Collins, 2010; Schwartz, Zamboanga, & Weisskirch,

2008). For this reason I will again explore familism, gender roles, cultural identity

development, acculturation, and biculturalism; this time with more emphasis on Sally’s

individual experience with these constructs. A full transcription of the interview can be

found in Appendix B.

Familism

Familism is a hallmark feature across Hispanic and Mexican culture, (Rodriguez,

Mira, Paez, & Myers, 2007) a central feature of Sally’s upbringing in Mexico, as well as

an important value she maintains presently. From the moment the interview begins it is

apparent that much of Sally’s personal and cultural identity is based on her strong family

values. Whether we were talking about holiday traditions, teenage experiences, religion,

raising children, offensive language, or pursuing education her ideas and thoughts are

intertwined with her family’s values with regards to all of these topics. To remove or

disregard familism from Sally’s identity, whether that is cultural or individual, would be

to misinterpret many salient aspects of Sally’s experience and worldview (Schwartz,

Zamboanga, & Weisskirch, 2008).

Sally moved to Canada at the age of 24, prior to this time she was still living with

her parents. She describes adult children staying at home as the norm in Mexico and also

a mode of family value transmission. As she puts it,

If you stay a little longer and you stay until you’re an adult you start

looking at these values because you’re naturally becoming able to have

kids. It’s a psychological and biological connection, loop. So then it’s like,

“Oh I wonder. Oh I wonder,” and you look back to your family. It’s not

7

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

the most natural thing to do but what happens if you stay a little longer,

then you get, you actually get those values more than when you’re gone

and you’re trying to think back to how your mom did this (personal

communication, March 12, 2014).

As mentioned earlier, the central importance of familism to Mexican culture is

reflected in the societal value of collectivism and reciprocity (Schwartz, 2007). As Sally

explains, “If you come and ask me to help you out with something at your home you

know that person would probably be available later on if you needed help,” (personal

communication, March 12, 2014). Giving and taking is a natural part of the flow of

Mexican culture something that Sally says is missing from kids today. When asked to

elaborate on what the younger generation is missing culturally Sally explains her concept

of togetherness, “Ownership, so to me belonging comes with ownership. So you go and

you take and you also own it. So it’s like you’re right to both. It’s your right and your

responsibility,” (personal communication, March 12, 2014). Value maintenance and

adherence is something that people give to, but also receive from creating meaning in

helping others. Much of Sally’s other experience cannot be understood without first

understanding her deep connection with familism and collectivism.

Gender Roles

Mexican culture is known for its distinct traditional roles of men and women

(Diaz-Guerrero, 1992). Sally’s experience with gender roles is somewhat nontraditional

from what is presented above, but the general scaffolding remains true. Sally’s mother

and father were both university educated and worked full time. At home, however, they

took on the traditional roles with Sally’s father pursuing his own interests and passions

8

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

outside of the home, and her mother taking sole responsibility for raising Sally and her

siblings and keeping the home. This experience is inline with Parrado and Flippen’s

(2005) observations into gendered accumulation, mentioned earlier. In the context of

home Sally’s mother accumulated household and parental duties while her father

accumulated culturally and economically.

Mexican culture favours the construct of gendered accumulation, as well. Sally

mentioned in our interview that a man’s labour is favoured in the workforce and female

applicants could only fill certain occupations. On aspect of migrating to Canada that Sally

enjoys is that there are not as many limitations based on gender in Canadian society.

Cultural Identity Development

Cultural identity is an individual process of retaining cultural characteristics

(Arthur & Collins, 2010). When Sally chose to migrate to Canada an inevitable change of

cultural identity began taking place. Some aspects of Sally’s cultural identity she has

chosen to maintain, for example her connection to familism and the values of loyalty,

respect, and reciprocity. Other aspects have changed due to the stark differences between

Mexican and Western culture. In our interview Sally reminisced about being connected to

the community and always having people around. Not only did she enjoy this there were

socioeconomic benefits to collectivism. Whereas in Canada, Sally is aware that most

people have the means to provide fully for themselves to the point that spending time

with other people is a choice and no longer a necessity. Sally culturally shed her desire

for people around in order to be better equipped for the individualistic ways of Western

society. In migrating to Canada many aspects of Sally’s cultural identity have shifted and

9

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

changed. These changes are a part of the process of acculturation, which I will discuss in

the next section.

Acculturation and Biculturalism

Acculturation is a way to describe one’s experience of change in migrating from

one culture to another (Arthur & Collins, 2010). Though this is a way of describing the

change process it is important to note that the acculturative process is multilinear and

multidimensional meaning that a person is not permanently bound to one strategy for

navigating this cultural change (Arthur & Collins, 2010). In the previous section I

discussed all of the acculturative stages and now will make the case that Sally is

assuming the integrative, or bicultural acculturative strategy. I will allow Sally to briefly

discuss her acculturative process and strategy,

When I first came I couldn’t do anything so when I got my residency I was

able to work, and then because I was able to work I was able to learn the

language, and because I was learning the language I was able to

communicate with people better. I, it is not excellent yet, I still need to

polish some details, but um, but, uh, because I am able to communicate

better I am able to get a better job, and so I am feeling the gratification of

doing something I like (personal communication, March 12, 2014).

From this quote we can see the many different parts of Sally’s acculturative

process. We can also see that being able to work, communicate, and participate in culture

is important to Sally’s cultural and personal identity. A central component of a bicultural

identity is being able to effectively participate in culture of origin and receiving culture

10

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

(Arthur & Collins, 2010). Sally is humble to recognize that she does function effectively

in both Mexican and Canadian culture, respectfully.

Initially in Sally’s acculturative process she had no one to speak Spanish with

pushing her to learn English as quickly as possible so that she could work and further her

language abilities. Now that Sally is a mother she is speaking more Spanish in order to

teach her young daughter. This demonstrates the fluidity of acculturative processes

(Arthur & Collins, 2010). When I inquire as to why Sally is teaching her daughter

Spanish her response is telling in its connection to familism and also a bicultural lifestyle,

Oh because she needs to be able to talk to my mom, and my sister, and my

brother, and cousins, and to be comfortable in Mexico, and to know where

she’s coming from. She’s born here but she has strong roots (personal

communication, March 12, 2014).

Not only does Sally model the principles of a bicultural identity she values her

identity and wants to pass it on to her daughter. Research suggests that second generation

citizens are often very successful at assuming a bicultural identity (Arthur & Collins,

2010; Berry, 2005). Over the ten years Sally has spent in Canada she has become adept at

honoring her cultural identities while demonstrating the fluidity of acculturative

processes.

Counselling Considerations

Collins and Arthur (2010) provide a model for counselling, which defines specific

multicultural competencies. Collins and Arthur (2010) highlight three core domains of

cultural awareness in work with clients: (1) active awareness of personal assumptions,

values, and biases; (2) understanding the worldview of the client; and (3) culturally

11

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

sensitive working alliance. In the coming section I will explore each of these three

domains and discuss specific counselling considerations to take in working with a client

who has a similar cultural identity to Sally.

Active Awareness of Personal Assumptions, Values, and Biases

Counsellor self-awareness into one’s own cultural identity is the first step to

ethical multicultural counselling (Collins & Arthur, 2010; Sinclair & Pettifor, 2001). This

awareness needs to demonstrate insight into how their cultural identity impacts all aspects

of their personal and professional lives (Collins & Arthur, 2010). Recognition as to how

one’s cultural identity may affect their values and beliefs in counselling as well as

acknowledgement of any personal cultural biases one has is central to upholding the

dignity and respect for the client (Collins & Arthur, 2010; Sinclair & Pettifor, 2001). As

professionals it is our responsibility to modify any assumptions, attitudes, or beliefs and

sharpen our knowledge and skills in order to meet our clients with effective equitable

psychological service (Collins & Arthur, 2010; Sinclair & Pettifor, 2001).

In order to ensure that I am not counselling from a rigid Western style of

counselling, which may create barriers for clients from differing cultures; I need to ensure

that I take time for self-care and professional reflection. Participating in journaling and

awareness exercises help keep me acutely aware of their personal and cultural identity

(Young, 2013). Scheduling regular clinical consultation can help ensure effective and

ethical practice while providing greater personal insight into how my cultural identity

may affect my clients (Corey, Corey, & Callanan, 2011). Lastly, I need to maintain

theoretical flexibility by taking time to research my client’s specific culture, and also

counselling techniques that are suitable to their needs.

12

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

Understanding the Worldview of the Client

As previously mentioned, familism is a key feature of Mexican culture

(Rodriguez, Mira, Paez, & Myers, 2007). While Collins and Arthur’s (2010) multicultural

counselling model is based on an integrative theory of counselling, in order to honour

familism it would be important to incorporate a systems perspective to accurately

understand the worldview of a client similar to Sally. Techniques from the systems

approach that may be beneficial to a client with strong ties to familism include using

genograms to track familial behaviour patterns, engaging in role-play activities, and

exploring ways to communicate effectively within the family system (Corey, 2009).

Collins and Arthur (2010) do state the importance of a balanced perspective when

working with clients. Attention should be paid to cultural factors as well as factors

completely unrelated to culture (Collins & Arthur, 2010). This ensures a well-rounded

understanding of the client’s worldview. So while familism is an important aspect of

Mexican culture there may be within group differences and familism may not be as

salient for one client as another. Broaching personal as well as cultural factors must be

integrated into all aspects of counselling to gain this well-rounded perspective (Day-

Vines, Wood, Grothaus, Craigen, Holman, Blake, & Douglass, 2007).

Culturally Sensitive Working Alliance

The working alliance describes a style of counselling relationship in which client

and counsellor both hold an expert role and collaborate equally on therapeutic goals and

tasks (Norcross & Lambert, 2011). Research has demonstrated that a strong therapeutic

alliance is the most important factor to effective therapeutic goal attainment (Tryon &

Winograd, 2011). In order to gain the trust and respect of a Mexican client it would be

13

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

important for me to inquire about all aspects of their cultural and migratory experience,

affirm their expertise in their experiences, as well as validate cultural strengths (Collins &

Arthur, 2010). Having a keen understanding of what familism and gender roles in

Mexican culture mean to the client will be integral to accurate and appropriate

collaboration on therapeutic goals and tasks (Schwartz, 2007). As this is a collaborative

relationship, it is important that the client’s experiential expertise is respected, and as

expert of the change process that I am acting on an accurate understanding of the client’s

worldview that has been empathetically reflected and confirmed by the client (Arthur &

Collins, 2010; Tryon & Winograd, 2011).

Reflection and Conclusion

Having the opportunity to interview Sally provided me with a rich understanding

of how influential cultural factors are to one’s worldview. In asking questions pertinent to

cultural factors the significance and salience of cultural factors to how Sally observes and

takes in the world was undeniable. Exploring Sally’s cultural identity really forced me to

look at my own and reflect further on my rural, Western upbringing and values and how

that impacts my behaviour and choices.

I have worked with Sally for over three years and asked her to be my interviewee

because I thought I had a good grasp on her cultural identity. In taking time to ask

detailed and cultural factor specific questions I was able to truly see how integrated she is

in both Mexican and Canadian culture. In adopting a cultural lens to interview Sally I

relearned many things I thought I already knew about Sally. Now more than knowing

things about Sally, I understand what her outlook is based on her experience.

14

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

The knowledge and insight this assignment as provided me is significant to my

understanding of all people as culture beings (Arthur & Collins, 2010). Using the cultural

lens to examine Sally’s experience I was able to get a clear grasp of her worldview and

how that worldview contributes to other salient aspects of Sally’s experience.

Understanding salient cultural factors to a client is really getting to understand their

experiences and expertise in it (Corey, 2009). This level of understanding is the most

accurate and effective place to make collaborations on therapeutic goals and tasks from

(Collins & Arthur, 2010). Participating in this assignment made the theory of

multicultural understanding a tangible reality.

15

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

References

Arthur, N., & Collins, S. (2010). Culture-infused counselling (2nd ed.). Counselling

Concepts: Calgary, AB. 

Berry, J. W. (2005). Acculturation: Living successfully in two cultures. International

Journal of Intercultural Relations, 29, 697-712. doi: 10.1016/j.ijintrel.2005.07.013

Collins, S., & Athur, N. (2010). Culture-infused counselling: A model for developing

multicultural competence. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 23(2), 217-233. doi:

10.1080/09515071003798212

Corey, G. (2009). Theory and practice of counselling and psychotherapy (8th Edition).

Belmont, CA: Thomson Brooks/Cole.

Corey, G., Corey, M. S., Callanan, P. (Ed. 8). (2011). Issues and ethics in the helping

professions. Belmont, California: Brooks/Cole.

Day-Vines, N. L., Wood, S. M., Grothaus, T., Craigen, L., Holman, A., Dotson-Blake,

K., & Douglass, M. J. (2007). Broaching the subjects of race, ethnicity, and culture

during the counseling process. Journal of Counselling and Development, 85, 401-

409. doi: 10.1002/j.1556-6678.2007.tb00608.x

Diaz-Guerrero, R. (1992). Mexican ethnopsychology. Review of Puerto Rican

Psychology, 8, 21-35.

Esses, V. M., & Gardner, R. C. (1996). Multiculturalism in Canada: Context and current

status. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, 28(3), 145. doi:

10.1037/h0084934 Minister of Justice. (2013). Criminal code of Canada. Retrieved

from: http://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/PDF/C-46.pdf

Lueck, K., & Wilson, M. (2011). Acculturative stress in Latino immigrants: The impact

16

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

of social, socio-psychological and migration-related factors. International Journal

of Intercultural Relations, 35, 186-195. doi: 10.1016/j.ijintrel.2010.11.016

Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2011). Psychotherapy relationships that work II.

Psychotherapy, 48(1), 4-8. doi: 10.1037/a/0022180

Parrado, E. A., & Flippen, C. A. (2005). Migration and gender among Mexican women.

American Sociological Review, 70(4), 606-632. doi: 142.66.3.42

Rodriguez, N., Mira, C. B., Paez, N. D., & Myers, H. F. (2007). Exploring the

complexities of familism and acculturation: Central constructs for people of

Mexican origins. American Journal of Community Psychology, 39, 61-77. doi:

10.1007/s10464-007-9090-7

Schwartz, S. J. (2007). The applicability of familism on diverse ethnic groups: A

preliminary study. The Journal of Social Psychology, 147(2), 101-118.

Schwartz, S. J., & Zamboanga, B. L. (2008). Testing Berry’s model of acculturation: A

confirmatory latent class approach. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic Minority

Psychology, 14(4), 275-285. doi: 10.1037/a0012818

Schwartz, S. J., Zamboanga, B. L., & Weisskirch, R. S. (2008). Broadening the study of

the self: Integrating the study of personal identity and cultural identity. Social and

Personality Psychology Compass, 2(2), 635-651. doi: 10.1111/j.1751-

9004.2008.00077.x

Sinclair, C., & Pettifor, J. (Eds.). (2001). Companion manual to the Canadian code of

ethics for psychologists (3rd ed.). Ottawa, Ontario: Canadian Psychological

Association.

17

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

Tryon, G. S., & Winograd, G. (2011). Goal consensus and collaboration. American

Psychological Association, 48(1), 50-57. doi: 10.1037/a0022061

Young, M. E. (Ed. 5). (2013). Learning the art of helping: Building blocks and

techniques. Toronto, Ontario: Pearson.

18

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

Appendix A

19

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

Appendix B

Interviewer: Well thank you, _____ for meeting today. I really appreciate you taking your time and doing this interview.

Participant: No problem.

I: So we’re just going to dive right into it. Um, how do you culturally define yourself?

P: Ouch.

I: Well like if I were to ask you, “What is your culture? What’s your identity?”

P: [Laughing]

I: Do you have an idea?

P: We’ve been talking about it. Um, I would say my cultural identity, I’m not sure if it’s correct based on… Is Mexican.

I: Alrighty.

P: Well Spanish-Mexican. Cause my family is mixed.

I: Okay. So then how do you define that culture? That Spanish-Mexican. How did you come to that?

P: Well especially because… I was born in Mexico and so therefore we do celebrate some of the same dates and same food, but at the same time at Christmastime we cooked Spanish dishes and there are other things that are related to the Spanish side of the family. For whatever reason we follow that. Uh my dad’s family was somewhere in the Arabs. We don’t follow that we just go through the Spanish and Mexican.

I: Okay and that’s from your mom’s side of the family?

P: Yeah.

I: So you’re more of a matriarchal family? Would you say that’s true?

P: Aah, I would, yeah.

I: Kind of?

P: Yeah.

20

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: So you were talking about holidays and things like that, um, what are some important holidays in your culture and what are some of the events surrounding them, or rituals, traditions?

P: Well that ones like the things we celebrate in Mexico that sometimes they are somewhat related to Spain, but also um, not necessarily, um, the whole thing, you know? But anways, so one is Day of the Dead. November 2nd so you know you visit the graveyard and you bring the favourite food of the person who has passed and it’s a celebration. It’s not a sad thing and so the, uh, the graveyard is full of people they even bring in music and, uh, this and that and it lasts the whole day. There’s altars that are made and the same thing you put the favourite food, the picture of the person, candles, and all kinds of stuff that are related to, to the person and also to the holiday. So there is a flower that is used, but only on that day, [Spanish word for that flower] but good luck with trying to translate that.

I: Do you have the English translation? What would that loosely translate to?

P: I have no idea and it’s an orange flower. It’s for the Day of the Dead.

I: And only that day?

P: Yes. Well it’s used for the altars and all of that. So you bring that. Um, what else? The one other big thing is the Three Wise Men Day. Uh, January 5th, so you put your shoe out under the, uh not traditional Mexican to put a tree for Christmas tree, you put a nativity set, but some people put up a mix of things. Whether it’s the nativity set of the Christmas tree you put your show out and then the Three Wise Men come overnight and give you presents. And then they put your show on top of your presents.

I: What did your family do? Did they do the nativity set or the Christmas tree?

P: We did the nativity strongly and as we got older we started decorating the tree, like my mom had plants, so then there were little plants, so we just started putting lights around that tree that wasn’t a Christmas tree, it wasn’t a pine or anything like that. Yeah, it was funny.

I: [Laughing]

P: So then we started putting bulbs and all of that on the plants. And so, yeah, it’s mostly the nativity set.

I: So is religion a significant part of your culture?

P: Absolutely. Yes. Because of the bible, in the bible the Three Wise Men the reason why it’s January 5th and not December 24th is because the Three Wise Men started following the star and it look them that long to get to [Spanish word for Bethlehem].

21

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: To Bethlehem?

P: Yes, and so that’s why it took so long and we celebrate on January 6th.

I: I did not know that, that’s very interesting.

P: Yeah.

I: Do you actively practice any religion?

P: Um, no, I’m one of those, um, fake Catholic, not fake, but, uh, I do have spirituality, I do believe in God, but I’m kind of confused about the whole thing because I was raised strongly Catholic and then you took the science class… Well not science, but um…

I: Biology? Evolution?

P: Yeah, all of that. And then you see the planets and how they evolve, and the Big Bang thing, and at the same time you’re at a full-blown Catholic school where it tells you Adam and Eve and this and that so I wouldn’t… I grew up confused to be quite honest as of, okay, which one is the one I am supposed to follow? We’re praying everyday and we’re learning religion and this doesn’t match, whatever, so I thought it was two separate things. That’s how I grew up. So now I do believe in something else, and I used to like to call it God because I don’t have any other words to describe, but I don’t go to church, and when I go it’s good and it’s nice. I just don’t believe in heaven and hell and all of that I think when you’re done you’re done. So, I’m not a full-blown Catholic believer.

I: Mhmm, of the traditional Catholic values. You have some that you maintain, like your belief in God and so on.

P: Like the spirit, yeah, and and yeah, but other than that about the punishments and all of that and all of these things that you need to follow the bible and all of that I have a hard time with.

I: Okay. Yeah, and were you raised Catholic?

P: Yes.

I: Did you go to church every Sunday?

P: Oh I see what you are saying, okay, no. My mom did and so did my dad my goodness did they ever, it was different times, and then when my parents got married we didn’t go to church on Sundays, but we did follow everything else. In school we would have mass and we will have confession every so often and they will bring the priest and we will have all of it. So at my house, no we didn’t.

22

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: But you have lots of interaction with the Catholic religion and that’s kind of where you identify in a religious way?

P: Yes I think, I think that stats are like 85 percent now Catholic in Mexico so it’s a church on every block.

I: And you definitely felt that.

P: Yeah.

I: Well that’s very interesting. Alright, well, I am going to change gears a little bit and talk more about your family and how you were raised and so on. Um, in your family, how does status, uh, kind of, play out? So, would you say one person in the family has more status than another and there’s a hierarchy? Or, how would you say, in your own family specifically? Not even just in general, just your family.

P: Like my mother, father, sister, brother? What do you mean by status?

I: In terms of maybe one person is the head of the household, or one person might be the breadwinner, or one person might be, you know, anything along those lines.

P: I was always, uh, [laughing], you picked the wrong person. [Laughing].

I: No, I haven’t!

P: My family, um, was complicated because uh they both work, my mom and my dad, and my dad would have liked to be like more in power kind of, but my mom is highly educated, both of my parents are, and so they both had good jobs… And, yeah so, my mom always worked, but she fully took care of us, if that makes sense?

I: Mhmm, yes.

P: And my dad did play with us, he was always kind, but he didn’t do some things. Like, he would go out, and he would go to work and you know, he never did my hair, or fed me, or changed my diaper, none of that.

I: So he was an active parent, but he still definitely had his own interests and his own passions.

P: Yes, so my mom economically had the same status, or even more because my mom got a really good job at the city in the cultural department, she was the head of the cultural department, so that caused conflict, by the way. Um, yeah, so that’s why it’s complicated.

I: And the stem of the conflict was it about status?

23

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

P: Well I think so because my dad wanted that job and he didn’t get it my mom got it.

I: Mmm.

P: And so he was kind of jealous about it. My mom was making really good money at that and it was an interesting job and my dad is very music and art oriented and this would have been his dream job, but there were reasons why he didn’t get it.

I: That’s very interesting and not necessarily, from the small amount of research I’ve done, traditional like you said, so that is very interesting. So if you were to take a look at your culture and think about the roles of men and women is that very different from what you experienced? If you look at Mexican culture do you think your parents with their; they boy had equal status, and they both contributed, and eventually with raising kids and so on do think that that was the same for other Mexican families at the time?

P: At the time… I’m trying to think… Because it seems like my my friends had parents who both worked, but culturally in general I think that the guy goes to work and the mom stays home.

I: Mhmm.

P: And it’s because, not because of anything else, it’s because there’s so many people and the lack of jobs and they are so very much man-oriented so there’s no women driving the bus, there’s… I remember before I moved to Canada they opened the first gas station where women were allowed to work. I came here when I was 23.

I: And what year was that?

P: That was 2003… No 2004 I came here. And I was 23, no I forget now. I was 24 when I first came. So they open this gas station when I was in university so it was between 1999 and 2003.

I: Wow.

P: And yeah so you see what I mean, there’s no female cab drivers and all of that. So I think it’s because the opportunity is not quite there for women, but yet if you do get in there are certain things, jobs for women, nurses, teachers, very much like that.

I: So, would you say that there is equal opportunity for Mexican men and women? Or do you think that men have the precedent?

P: I believe so strongly. I don’t know now it’s been 10 years since I’ve been there, but back then yes absolutely there was very much so roles of where you should apply and shouldn’t. Just on a side note, when you apply for a job you put a picture on your application and they ask you age and all that and and it’s okay.

24

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: For every job?

P: For any job like I had, when you apply at the store you put your picture there and and it’s okay to not give you the job because of your age, or because you’re a female.

I: Wow, and that’s accepted?

P: Mhmm.

I: That’s very different from Canadian society.

P: Absolutely.

I: Did that contribute a lot to your choice to immigrate?

P: No. Oh no no no no, its got nothing to do with why I came. Completely separate, I was happy there and so I am right now. I came because of Derek that’s all.

I: You came because of your relationship.

P: Mhmm.

I: So in your culture with this divide between men and women and so on I am wondering about respect and disrespect. What would be something that would be considered extremely disrespectful? And you might not even have it in relation to men and women it could be something totally different. Or, what would be considered an act of respect?

P: I guess something that anybody would find very disrespectful is if you insult someone’s mom.

I: Aaah okay.

P: Yes, so lets say you get road rage of whatever and the first thing the guy is going to say is, like okay, F you, but with the mother part and that is like it just gets you. And, so, yeah that’s probably it.

I: That’s very disrespectful.

P: Yeah, you never insult someone’s mom. And what would be an act of respect? Because it’s very man-oriented, it just doesn’t make sense, it’s so complicated Robyn. For instance, there’s still the fact that the men will open the door for you, so if you’re going in the back the guy will come and open then door, which I’ve seen here with older guys, or with someone who wants to flirt with you. [Laughing] You know generally speaking, it’s not that tradition. There it’s always like you’re on the bus and if a girl is standing up and the guy is sitting down the guy will stand up and give you the spot.

25

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: Traditional chivalry is alive and well in Mexico.

P: Yes everywhere, even with the lowest quality of people. They still open the door when you get out of the car, which I never liked. I hate waiting there it’s ridiculous, but…

I: So it’s almost obvious there that men are treating women as the “fairer sex”? You know how people say that that women are the gentler sex, or whatever.

P: Yeah, and some women accept that and some don’t.

I: Interesting. I think that there’s a lot of matriarchy coming out like how the insult is about the mom, I think that that pulls back to…

P: It’s good that you mentioned that because I was going to go back to that. Like it seems the culture is very man-based, but we are so smart, Robyn. We go underneath and really what really matters is the woman have a very strong presence in the culture. So it is about the man, the breadwinner, and it seems like they are in control, but the respect is for the mother. In the end women really matter in the family.

I: Absolutely and so there is value in those roles of mothers and wives and taking care of the household and it’s reflected in the culture. Well that’s really positive balance. A lot of times with patriarchy societies those things that women do are looked down on, or disrespected in ways.

P: Yeah, but that’s just my opinion though!

I: No, of course, and your experiences as well and that’s what this is all about. I’m going to ask you something now that’s kind of in a different direction.

P: Okay.

I: It’s about language, and I kind of know the answer, but do you speak your native language?

P: Well, uh, what do you mean?

I: Well, do you speak it now, presently at all?

P: Uh, until _____ [daughter] was born it was very little. Now I do speak to my daughter in Spanish, but how many hours a day? Not very many if I work the whole day and then I see her and it’s bed and bath time.

I: So minimally, but it’s starting to increase more. You’re starting to speak Spanish more?

P: Yeah, when I first came I didn’t know anybody who spoke Spanish. Nobody.

26

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: Wow, so then I guess how can you speak it if you have no one to talk to?

P: There was one person after who I met at the restaurant who I had no desire to talk to this person. [Laughing] So I just…

I: Chose not to at that point?

P: Yeah.

I: And how old is ______ [daughter]?

P: She is going to be two in April.

I: So, are you hoping to be speaking with her in Spanish? She will learn your native tongue?

P: Yeah, yeah, and she is actually saying more words in Spanish. In the beginning I would say, “Thank you” I’ll say it in Spanish and she will answer, “Thank you” in English. She knew what thank you in Spanish meant she just said it in English. And yesterday, or the day before, she said, “Gracias” for the very first time. I said in Spanish, “Can you say thank you?” and she said, “Gracias.”

I: That’s exciting.

P: So now she’s saying more things in Spanish than before.

I: Awesome, and so why is it that you want to teach her Spanish? Why is that important?

P: Oh because she needs to be able to talk to my mom, and my sister, and my brother, and cousins, and to be comfortable in Mexico, and to know where she’s coming from. She’s born here but she has strong roots.

I: Absolutely. Really good answer, so it’s really culturally important for you that ______ [daughter] is tied closely to your family, Mexican culture, but also is a Canadian herself. I shouldn’t have said that, sorry that was a bit of an imposition from me to call Victoria Canadian.

P: Why? She is Canadian.

I: Well she was born in Canada, but…P: Yeah, she was born in Canada, she lives in Canada, but her roots are half Canadian, French-Canadian, and half Spanish. Just like mine are half Spanish and half Arab and Mexican. It’s all good, we are all mixed together.

I: Well, good I am sorry for that.

27

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

P: I don’t feel offended. No, not at all.

I: Okay, thank you. From your perspective what is a really common misconception about Mexican culture? What do you think Canadians have wrong about Mexico or Mexicans? It doesn’t have to be just one, you can give me the list.

P: Hmmm, I don’t know, I’d have to pick. I think the most, what I get, okay I’m going to be quick.

I: No, no rush.

P: That we all wear sombreros and that we are all kind of uneducated and just want out of the country.

I: Okay how does that sit with you? How does that make you feel?

P: That bothers me because I don’t wear sombreros, I’m educated, and yes we are somewhat of the minority, but all the people, most of the people I know and relate to have education. Like, I know some people who don’t and they didn’t have the opportunity, and for the most part I’m like a minority. Uh so yeah, I don’t wear sombreros, I wasn’t looking to get out of the country, like I said I just came because of my relationship and not all of them are like that. My mom would like to come here but she wouldn’t be able to speak the language and so there’s not enough reason for anyone from my family to come. Like, they are fine.

I: Absolutely, I think the everybody wanting to flee, I think that would be a hard one for me, personally to sit with.

P: Yeah. And there are some in the north of Mexico there are some people who want to leave.

I: Sure. That’s the same as my experience in Canada. When it comes to education the majority of young men I know didn’t go past a college education, or make it through. So yeah, that’s interesting, for sure. From these misconceptions have you ever experienced any prejudice here in Canada related to your culture?

P: Well for sure I have. For sure, but I think anybody would. Like, it doesn’t matter if you’re from Mexico or from somewhere else I think that it just exists. I can tell you a few things, but it has not been a major major thing happening to me, just little tihngs like, phone calls where someone says, “Can I talk to someone who actually speak English?” Things like that, or um, “Oh well, you’re just missing your sombrero.” I just got that last night in N’Compass, one of the kids said, “She’s Mexican, she is missing the sombrero.” Or something like that, you know kids, but at the same time yesterday I heard someone say, “Oh she just wants her fried chicken,” because in the video there was multicultural

28

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

kids so, you know who they are referring to, and yeah so it does happen, but I think it happens for everyone not just specifically because I am from Mexico.

I: There you go, so you don’t think it’s related to being Mexican immigrant, or having an accent, or speaking a different language….

P: I think it is related to that when I’ve gotten it because it was something personal, but I think it’s not just because there’s prejudice against Mexicans, I think it is just towards someone. It’s situational I think.

I: And maybe differences between you and that person weren’t being respected, you know?

P: And I wonder if it’s because, I wonder if I haven’t gotten that as much because I don’t look Mexican that much. So if you look at me, if I don’t speak, and you just see my on the street I think I would look pretty much like you and I or anybody else, I think.

I: Yeah, okay I would agree.

P: I’m not dark skinned or dark featured.

I: I don’t know if you want to say that traditional Mexican look that I’m sure some people have. That mental vision or whatever you want to call it.

P: Yeah.

I: Oh this is a fun one, what is the best and worst thing about living in Canada?

P: The best thing is that I live in peace. That I know that I’m just relaxed, and know I’m safe. I know that there’s crime and this and that, but you see that I read the paper and I see what makes the paper here and it’s awesome. If you read the paper back home it’s disgusting.

I: What are some of the differences?

P: Well, for instance, I talked to my husband last night about what was on the front page of the paper yesterday and it was this car going through a big puddle of water and said some people were fixing something and probably they got wet or something. If you read the front page of my home town paper its, “They found 10 heads in somebody’s trunk,” or, “10 bodies hanging from this town’s bridge,” you know?

I: So there is more of a violent presence in the media?

P: Oh my goodness it’s all about kidnapping and it’s kidnapping in Mexico is the biggest thing right now. The main reason, people don’t understand that about me, I hate Facebook because, um no that I hate Facebook, but I just don’t want to be part of that. I

29

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

don’t want my daughter to be a part of that. I don’t want anyone to assume that I have money, and I have a White kid with green eyes, and therefore very attractive because it’s different than Mexican, so so somebody might pay big money for that. I know it’s very paranoid, but that’s how it is there.

I: Absolutely, and I guess it’s something that you’ve learned over time, right? When you’re taking in all of this media and all of these experiences safety becomes a big issue for you.

P: Mhmm.

I: So that’s the best thing about living in Canada? You’re not thinking about that, the kidnappings, the violence as much.

P: Things work. Things work. If I get killed I am 95 percent sure they will kind out who killed me. At least you know that somebody, it’s not a matter of of punishment or anything it’s just that that things actually work.

I: Consequences will happen. Natural consequences, or that systems work?

P: The system, that you actually get a chance in the system as well, is the point. And where in Mexico there’s so many crimes that it’s hard to catch up. You’re put at the bottom of the list so that, I guess my thing is that, you loose hope. You’re on your own. And here it feels that things, you pay your taxes and you see the roads, you pay your taxes and you see the flowers hanging there, right? And then the system, you go to the police and somebody comes, somebody follows through. There’s health care, you know, all of that where back home it’s different. There’s so many people those things don’t work. It goes to the few and you never see that back. Nobody would ever call you or send a cheque back for your taxes. The first year I submitted my taxes I got five hundred dollars back. I called my mom she couldn’t believe it.

I: Wow.

P: You will never get a cheque back from the government.

I: Is that so? Because the system is so strained?

P: Because they will take your money.

I: Because the system is broken?

P: Yes. And then you don’t have faith in people. You are on your own so you have to rely with your family, your neighbours, your friends. That’s why relationships are so close.

30

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: Safety in numbers. And so do you think that’s where the family closeness and the ties to family in Mexico comes from is safety in numbers? Keep everyone together and keep an eye out for your kin?

P: Yeah. And you need, and you need, you need, you need someone to help.

I: You can’t survive alone? Is that what you’re thinking or…

P: I guess you could it would just be, so for instance, if you come and ask me to help you out with something at your home you know that person would probably be available later on if you needed help. Where here everybody has everything you barely rarely ask for help because you can actually do it yourself. You have the money and the means and this and that so you don’t need your neighbour. And so it’s not based on emptiness, it’s not because oh I need you, you need me. It’s just how it is.

I: It’s the community. It keeps everybody going. Mmm I really like that.

P: I don’t know if I am going over or…

I: Oh no you are totally not, my questions are definitely a broad base. I just wanted to talk about a lot of different things today. So sorry if that’s causing any discrepancy for you.

P: Oh no, did I answer both?

I: Well, you didn’t answer the worst thing about Canada. I would be interested to hear that.

P: That’s hard a hard one, but I have the answer right away. It’s it’s precisely the cultural difference.

I: Explain that.

P: So, uh, because we are close and family and friends and people are so independent here um I struggle with that. So for the longest time I couldn’t find friends and now I’m almost at the point where I’m one like that. So before I was community based, friends, people dropping at my house, and that’s what made me feel happy. Made me feel a part of something and now I’m actually going the other way. I’m more like a loner.

I: You’re liking your solitude?

P: Now when I go home I have a hard time with everyone around and it’s just people talking, [inaudible sounds to signify people talking], and that is just like nerve-racking. And so now I understand how ____ [husband] feels when he goes there. So I guess my, it’s not the worst, but it was very difficult.

31

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

I: It was very hard for you to adjust, to fit in.

P: The feeling, yes, and to try to put my cultural things, and to decide what I was willing to give in, and what I am not. So that is really hard.

I: How did you come to some of those decisions? What were changes that you made? Or, things that you were conscious of in moving from Mexico to Canada?

P: I don’t even know if it was a conscious decision or if I just…

I: It was just what you were doing.

P: Yeah, and then somebody did tell me years ago, when I was falling apart, she told me, “When you have kids things are going to change,” because I was crying at someone’s party because I was missing my mom. Like, imagine how I was, this was unheard of, and so I was missing my mom and my sister, and this and that and this older lady pulls me and she says, “You will feel different when you have kids. Your priorities are going to change.” And I remember just feeling rage when she told me that I’m like, “No you don’t understand. You know, I love my family I will never replace them.” I felt like she meant that. She didn’t mean that. She was right. It’s not that my mom doesn’t matter anymore, I’m just busy with my daughter, and I’m trying to get her going, and I want the best for her that I’m not as lonesome as I was. And so I want to go back to this lady and say, “You were right.”

I: Aah, very interesting. What other things happened in the change, what other things did you notice?

P: Uh…

I: Or in hindsight, I suppose, that you can see from living in the Mexican culture with lots of that community base to coming to Canada where there’s such an independent base and individualism is huge here, and like you said, people actually have the means to follow through with that. So what other things have you noticed over time that maybe in your way, or your lifestyle?

P: I don’t know if this is the answer. I think first of all is the ability to work, or go to school. When I first came I couldn’t do anything so when I got my residency I was able to work, and then because I was able to work I was able to learn the language, and because I was learning the language I was able to communicate with people better. I, it is not excellent yet, I still need to polish some details, but um, but, uh, because I am able to communicate better I am able to get a better job, and so I am feeling the gratification of doing something I like. Where before I had no choice and I had to bus at the restaurant when I have a degree, right, so it was just kind of like…

I: It’s a hard compromise.

32

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

P: Yeah, so, I think things were lining up though I kind of, so I think those changes in me affected how I then went about my life. Does that make sense?

I: Yeah, that definitely makes sense, for sure. Here is my final question: Do you think that young people today have a sense of culture? You can answer that from what you see in a Canadian society, or you can even look at Mexican society as you see it. Do you think kids today are growing up with a sense of culture?

P: I guess I will need to define culture, as I understand it, and I don’t want to sound completely ignorant. The way I see it, here today in Grande Prairie, it’s because we’re all from somewhere else and I don’t mean to say something wrong, but I just feel that kids don’t seem to have a sense of belonging.

I: Mmm.

P: And so I get this is very different from where I grew up so I’m not sure if this answer is correct. So I, uh, feel that this town grew all of the sudden and many different people from different places coming and so there’s lots of subcultures it’s not…

I: A cohesive culture.

P: Yes, or something that, there’s lots of activities like, Muskoseepi egg hunt, there’s lots of activities, I just don’t feel that we have this belonging, like responsibility. No, that’s not the write word. Ownership, so to me belonging comes with ownership. So you go and you take and you also own it. So it’s like you’re right to both. It’s your right and your responsibility. That’s kind of how I feel about it, culture, that we are on some sort of same page, and I just don’t feel that that’s happening right now. Kids are going out of high school and getting jobs, very well paid jobs, so they are becoming very independent at a very young age. So then they go on their own and do their own thing.

I: That’s very common here. It must be very different.

P: And it’s hard because, um, it enables individualism, and I don’t know at this point if that’s a wrong thing. I don’t know that. It would be ignorant for me to say, Oh that’s right or wrong,” I just find that this is what’s happening and therefore there’s no circle. Group.

I: I understand what you’re saying here, I do, I think, [laughing]. Individualism… And there is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions, obviously, but individualism is a really big Western value and I think in a town like Grande Prairie that does have a transient population, and does have lots of money running through it that individualism even spikes. Even though on a Western front we do have high levels of that to begin with, with those types of demographics running through this city constantly that it takes it one step further. As you said, 18 year olds are going out to work, out to make money, or out to the bush to work for two weeks straight with one other person, working out of a camp, that is a heavily individual society. There’s lots of isolation out here too.

33

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

P: On the other hand, I really like your experience and that’s why I really like your family because your family I don’t think they want that. And that’s what we do, you don’t leave home until you get married. I think your family gave you the freedom to choose, but they will also welcome you back because they want the best for you and so that’s why you have lots of family values and are close to them because you spent so much time with them. So when you’re a kid you don’t learn these values you’re doing your own thing, you’re selfish, because that’s what you’re supposed to be doing. And if you stay a little longer and you stay until you’re an adult you start looking at these values because you’re naturally becoming able to have kids. It’s a psychological and biological connection, loop. So then it’s like, “Oh I wonder. Oh I wonder,” and you look back to your family. It’s not the most natural thing to do but what happens if you stay a little longer, then you get you, actually get those values more than when you’re gone and you’re trying to think back to how your mom did this.

I: Yeah, really. Okay, so that wasn’t my final question. I have one more, do you think Mexican culture is like that where kids stick closer to home?

P: Oh yeah, we usually, we stay home until we get married. No matter if you’re a girl or a boy. It usually happens that at some point through university or after university it’s a natural thing that if you have a partner to get married. So, I mean I’m not saying everybody is like that of course, but it’s actually seen the few friends that I have that lived on their own you kind of see them as different. Something must have happened at home that she left.

I: Okay.

P: Usually they came from families that were kind of not very close together and she just wanted to escape that. And so then she went on her own, or he went on his own because the family wasn’t really a good environment for that person.

I: Wow.

P: So then, for instance, my brother is getting married. He still lives at home with my mom. He has an apartment, he goes back and forth to his apartment, but his primary residence is my mom’s. And that’s kind of weird that he has an apartment and this and that, but you know, it’s okay and he is 30-something, whatever years old.

I: Wow, the strong connection to family and collectivism and community is really impressive. Very, just, different from here, it is.

P: It’s not right or wrong it just is.

I: No, nothing is right or wrong it’s just a difference. And I don’t know if I realized how big of a difference it was. And maybe that the family, and the community, and the connection maybe that’s culturally, this is just a speculation just a thought, what makes us different.

34

CULTURAL INTERVIEW

P: Yeah, and when I saw the movies the roommates, I never lived with a roommate, I don’t know what it was like. I was asking my friend, “What was it like to have a roommate?” I never did it. And you saw in the high school shows here and we always thought that was kind of a fantasy. We’d say, “Oh that’s in the States we don’t do that. Oh wouldn’t that be nice…” We didn’t see it as reality. We just thought that it was a movie. And then I moved here and it was like, “Oh that’s what really happens.” People leave home at 18. My goodness! You do get a car at 16? Ouch!

I: [Laughing]

P: That’s awesome, you know, kind of thing. One of my friends got a car at 15. You guys celebrate the 16 we celebrate the 15. And so she got the car, the one in the whole group of friends, but she wasn’t allowed to drive it. So she got the car but she had to go driving with her brother, or the dad. So the dad would know exactly. She wasn’t allowed to drive it to school.

I: [Laughing] That’s pretty funny.

P: You see what I mean? It is! The parents needed to know exactly where she was going, when she was coming back, every detail, and somebody from the family needed to be involved. So here is your car, but not really. You are not fully independent.

I: That actually reminds me of my family.

P: That’s good. I like that.

P: Okay, well thank you so much for your time.

I: Thank you.

P: That was a great interview so thank you, thank you.

35