wbi coaching fall 2014 class 9 -...

Class 9 Notes

Posi%ve Psychology Coaching Fall 2014

Class 10 Pre-‐Work

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Lynda Wallace Course Instructor

Today’s Agenda

•  Welcome and Logis<cs

•  Posi<ve Psychology Primer: Goals

•  Coaching for Goal Clarity and CommiBed Goal Pursuit •  Six Steps •  Coaching Demonstra<on

•  Journaling Prompt and Partner Coaching Assignment

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Posi%ve Psychology Primer: Goal Pursuit

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Adapted from Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness

1.  Enhanced sense of purpose and feeling of control over our lives.

2.  Increase in self-‐esteem and self-‐efficacy.

3.  Emo<onal boosts every <me we make progress toward the goal.

4.  Greater sense of structure and meaning in our daily lives.

5.  Improvement in prac<cal life skills, such as focusing and using <me effec<vely.

6.  Enhanced coping skills, and greater confidence in our ability to cope.

7.  Engagement with other people along the way toward the goal.

Benefits of CommiJed Goal Pursuit

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Goals and Happiness

Tal Ben-‐Shahar: •  Happiness is not about making it to the peak

of the mountain, nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain.

•  Happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.

•  It’s not about the arrival, and at the same <me, it’s not about having no arrival and aimlessly wandering.

•  It’s about having a goal, an objec<ve, a peak -‐-‐ and then, one step at a <me, going toward that peak.

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Happiness and High Expecta%ons

Tal Ben-‐Shahar:

•  Having high expecta<ons contributes to our well-‐being and self-‐esteem even if those high expecta<ons lead us to experience more failure.

•  When we have high expecta<ons and we cope, when we invest, take risks, work hard, put ourselves on the line – this is when we increase our self-‐esteem and happiness over <me.

•  It’s not when we lower expecta<ons, when we avoid, when we don’t try.

Here’s why: •  Self-‐percep<on theory: If I see myself trying hard and pursuing my dream, I conclude that I

am courageous, persistent, and the kind of person who is likely to succeed.

•  The pain of the fear of failure is o\en worse than the pain of actual failure.

•  More trying leads to more success.

Posi%ve Psychology Primer: SePng Goals

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Adapted from Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness

Happiness-‐Enhancing Goals

Intrinsic •  Personally involving and rewarding rather than simply reflec<ng what others

approve of or desire for you. Authen%c

•  Rooted in your lifelong, deeply held interests and core values.

Approach-‐Oriented •  Approaching a desirable outcome rather than simply retrea<ng from an

undesirable situa<on. Harmonious

•  In balance with your other priori<es. Ac%vity-‐Based

•  Focused on doing something differently or doing something new, rather than simply changing your circumstances.

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Coaching for Goal Clarity and CommiJed Goal Pursuit

Desire Hope Op%ons Commitment Ac%on Persistence

Richly imagine a desired future, and nurture the desire to move toward it.

Develop self-‐efficacy and grounded hope that posi<ve change is possible.

Expand and explore a range of op<ons for moving toward the desired future.

Commit to a clear goal for posi<ve change, and an adaptable, big-‐picture plan to pursue that goal.

Immediately and consistently take manageable steps in pursuit of the goal. Build on what works.

Respond to setbacks and changes with resilience, self-‐compassion, and persistence.

This journey is not nearly as linear as it

appears.

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Coaching Objec%ve Desire Richly imagine a preferred future, and nurture the desire for it.

Hurdles •  Fear of failure or of change •  Concern about impact on others (real or perceived) •  Fear of being overwhelmed, too much to do, too much change •  Concern about others’ reac<ons

Teaching Concepts •  Benefits of high expecta<ons •  Benefits of solu<ons focus •  Benefits of expressive wri<ng

Coaching Tools •  Best self stories •  Best Life exercise (Laura King) •  Solu<ons focus: Miracle ques<on •  Apprecia<ve Inquiry into strengths, pleasures, values, resources, and what is working

•  Engaging the elephant: nurture an emo<onal connec<on to the vision of a preferred future

•  Small steps to make life beBer now


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Coaching Objec%ve Hope Develop self-‐efficacy and grounded hope that posi<ve change is possible.

Hurdles •  Sense of powerlessness or inadequacy •  Prac<cal roadblocks and concerns •  Dominant stories

Teaching Concepts •  Growth mindset •  Decep<ve brain messages and neuroplas<city

•  The Brain that Changes Itself, Norman Doige •  You Are Not Your Brain, Jeffrey Schwartz & Rebecca Gladding

Coaching Tools •  Strengths Assessment •  Strengths stories: listen empathically and with a growth mindset, apprecia<ng effort, risk-‐taking, learning from experience

•  Grounded posi<vity based on strengths stories •  Apprecia<ve Inquiry into pleasures, values, resources •  Solu<ons focus: Where are you on the scale now? •  Excep<ons to dominant stories


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Coaching Objec%ve Op%ons Create and explore a range of op<ons for moving toward the desired future.

Hurdles •  Problem focus •  Insufficient understanding of possible paths forward

Teaching Concepts Sources of addi<onal op<ons/paths forward and informa<on about them: •  Self-‐inquiry •  Other people (who do you know who might know someone?) •  Research sources (internet, books, courses) •  Experience (finding ways to try new things)

Coaching Tools •  Solu<ons focus: What would one step higher look like? •  Apprecia<ve Inquiry into resources •  How can you build on what is working? •  How would you move forward if you knew you would succeed? •  Empathic listening •  Challenging basic assump<ons about what cannot change •  Systems thinking: whole person, family, life •  Client commitment to specific ways of researching addi<onal op<ons/paths forward and informa<on about them


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Coaching Objec%ve Commitment Commit to a clear goal for posi<ve change, and an adaptable, big-‐picture plan to pursue that goal.

Hurdles •  Fear of failure •  Reluctance to change

Teaching Concepts •  Benefits of commiBed goal pursuit •  Benefits of failure •  Permission to change

Coaching Tools •  Envisioning success, and a path toward it: Imagine yourself in the future, looking back on this coaching experience. You conclude that the experience and what you did with it have been a great success.

•  What does that future look like? •  What are you doing differently in that future? By when? •  How did you get there? •  What were some of the most important steps along the way?

•  Power of visuals, put the big-‐picture plan on a paper calendar •  Acknowledge and address fears •  Mental contras<ng: Compare two futures


Coaching Demonstra%on: Goal Commitment

Notes

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Coaching Objec%ve Ac%on Immediately and consistently take manageable steps in pursuit of the goal. Build on what works.

Hurdles •  Uncertainty about what to do •  Discomfort moving out of the comfort zone •  Situa<onal press (other commitments, lack of support)

Teaching Concepts •  Benefits of commiBed goal pursuit •  Comfort zone, stretch zone, panic zone; the stretch zone is where progress happens

Coaching Tools •  Solu<ons focus •  What will it look like/take to be one step higher •  What’s the first thing you would do toward that step? How? •  Is that a commitment you want to make to yourself?

•  Daily commitment to ac<on (e.g., 15 minutes/day, best <me of day) •  If/then plans •  Accountability at every session, and perhaps between sessions •  Celebra<ng both effort and progress •  Apprecia<ve Inquiry into what is working •  Finding support outside of the coaching rela<onship


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Coaching Objec%ve Persistence Respond to setbacks and changes with resilience, self-‐compassion, and persistence.

Hurdles •  Setbacks •  Procras<na<on •  Dominant stories •  Situa<onal press

Teaching Concepts •  Self-‐percep<on theory •  Self-‐compassion

Coaching Tools •  Gain psychological distance (1000 miles away or five years from now) and ask: What do you want to do about this setback?

•  C.A.R.E.: Catch, Acknowledge, Request, Encourage •  Tracking progress made, not just distance to go •  Acknowledgement of effort •  Five-‐minute take-‐off •  What is working that you can build on? •  What isn’t working that you can stop or change? •  Is a course correc<on in order? •  Mental contras<ng (present/future, alternate futures)


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Coaching for Goal Clarity and CommiJed Goal Pursuit


Richly imagine a desired future, and nurture the desire to move toward it.

Develop self-‐efficacy and grounded hope that posi<ve change is possible.

Expand and explore a range of op<ons for moving toward the desired future.

Commit to a clear goal for posi<ve change, and an adaptable, big-‐picture plan to pursue that goal.

Immediately and consistently take manageable steps in pursuit of the goal. Build on what works.

Respond to setbacks and changes with resilience, self-‐compassion, and persistence.

This journey is not nearly as linear as it

appears.

Journal Reflec%on: Your Coaching Vision

In this journal reflec<on, you’ll develop a rough sketch of your coaching vision. Step one is op<onal. 1. Op<onal warm-‐up: Quickly write several ways to complete these sentence stems.

•  Some of the most valuable character strengths I bring to coaching are . . . •  Some of the most valuable knowledge I bring to coaching is . . . •  Some of the most valuable experience I bring to coaching is . . . •  Some of my most valuable coaching skills are . . .

2. Okay, those were op<onal; this one isn’t. Go ahead and take a few minutes to consider and respond to it. Try not to be self-‐limi<ng. Answer as expansively as you can.

•  As a coach, I believe I can help (whom) to (what).

3. Now for your vision . . . Imagine yourself in the future, looking back on how you’ve put your strengths, knowledge, experience and skills to work as a coach, either as a means of livelihood or in other ways in your life and work. You conclude that what you’ve done has been a great success. What does that future look like? Please consider posCng your vision in the online classroom or emailing it to me!

COMPLETE PRIOR TO CLASS 10 (11/18) Es<mated Time: 30 minutes

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Peer Prac%ce Session: Goal Commitment and Ac%on

In your journal reflec<on this week, you began to describe a goal for how you will put your strengths, knowledge, experience, and skills to work as a coach, either as a means of livelihood or in other ways in your life and work. In this session, you and your partner will coach each other through further commiong to and taking the next step in pursuit of that goal. Begin by asking your partner to describe the preferred future he or she wrote about in this week’s journal reflec<on. Then use the tools for coaching for commitment and ac<on that you think might be most helpful to your partner. Here are some ques<ons you might want to include.

Goal Commitment •  What are you doing differently in that future? By when? •  How did you get there? •  What were some of the most important steps along the way? •  When did you achieve those most important steps?

Ac<on •  What will it look like/take to be one step closer to that future? •  What’s the first thing you would do toward that step? •  How would you do that, and when? •  Is that a commitment you want to make to yourself?

COMPLETE PRIOR TO CLASS 10 (11/18) Es<mated Time: 75 Minutes

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Partner Coaching Session Feedback Notes

Date: ___________________ My Partner: __________________________

Feedback to My Partner Three things I found helpful 1. 2. 3. Two construc<ve sugges<ons 1. 2.

Feedback from My Partner

Three things my partner found helpful 1. 2. 3. Two construc<ve sugges<ons 1. 2. My reflec<ons on the feedback I received One inten<on for next week’s session

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wbi coaching fall 2014 class 9 -...

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