Light-years of progressare being made in the field ofspace knowledge. The gleam-ing star to be found around cam-pus is Dr. Matthew Benaquista.Dr. Benaquista has been a pro-fessor of Physics at MSU-Bill-ings since 1988 and there is noend in sight. He has an impres-sive resume that boasts being theChair of the Task Force on Ga-lactic Binary Populations and ispart of the LISA InternationalScience Team.

To break it down, he’s anastrophysicist working on a La-ser Interferometer Space An-tenna (LISA). LISA is going tobe put in orbit to measure grav-ity waves in space. When largemassive objects move, it makesspace time move due to thechange in distance. The antennawill chart the bends in space.LISA consists of three space

A Shining SA Shining SA Shining SA Shining SA Shining Star at MSU-Billingstar at MSU-Billingstar at MSU-Billingstar at MSU-Billingstar at MSU-Billingscrafts that will form an equilat-eral triangle to orbit the sun. Thetriangles will be on their own in-dependent orbit but will stay syn-chronized to a distance of threemillion miles from one another.The spacecrafts will bouncearound a laser that will consistof a certain wave frequency.When the wave changes fre-quency the scientists will be ableto gauge the distance the mas-sive space objects have moved.

It may sound simple, butyou’re being fooled. The dis-tance that an object in spaceisabout “the distance of half of ahydrogen atom” explainedBenaquista. This distance is sominuscule that it can only bemeasured by testing the fre-quency of a wave. LISA’s sisterantenna is a ground antenna ofmuch a smaller magnitude. Theidea is similar but the antenna ison the ground somewhere inWashington state. Benaquista is

Students and communitymembers attended the ninth an-nual Career Fitness Fair onThursday, February 23 fromnoon to 4:00 pm held in the ball-room of the Student UnionBuilding at MSU-Billings. Atthe fair, there were more than60 employers welcoming pro-spective employees and interns.The goal of the fair is for stu-dents to gauge a good idea ofwhat employers are looking forin new employees that are soonto graduate or working on a de-gree. The employers answeredquestions like what do studentsneed to be studying for specificjobs, what employers find to bethe most valuable assets to re-tain from the college experienceand other tips for guidance. TheCareer Fair also gave studentsthe opportunity to network withemployers and apply for pos-sible jobs and internships.

The fair also cameequipped with workshops fromnoon to 4:30. The workshopswere “Be an Interview Super-star; Brad and Angelina Re-

Career FitnessCareer FitnessCareer FitnessCareer FitnessCareer FitnessWWWWWorororororkkkkkout atout atout atout atout at

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DrDrDrDrDr. Barr. Barr. Barr. Barr. Barron’s Ron’s Ron’s Ron’s Ron’s Reptile Reptile Reptile Reptile Reptile Rompompompompomp

The thought of lizards or snakes is usuallyenough to turn most people’s blood cold, but Dr.Jim Barron, Assistant Professor of Biology here atMSU-B, hunts for the creepy-crawlers every sum-mer.

Barron, a vertebrate ecologist, chose to studyPhrynosoma hernadesi, commonly known as themountain short-horned lizard, two years ago forseveral reasons – but the simple fact that very littleresearch as been done on the species was motiva-

tion enough for Barron, the consummate scientist.His field work also satisfies the University’s ex-pectation that all faculty members specializing inthe sciences produce and publish scientific re-search.

In his proposal to MSU-B, Barron stated,“The primary goal of this project is to describe, indetail, the daily movement patterns, home ranges,temperature profiles and habitat associations ofPhrynosoma hernadesi, through detailed trackingusing radio-telemetric equipment.” In other words,the little buggers are tagged and tracked to find out

Photo courtesy of Dr. Jim BarronDr. Barron inserts a needle into a reptile.

See C C C C CAREERS AREERS AREERS AREERS AREERS pg. 5

See STSTSTSTSTARARARARAR pg. 4

See REPTILE RREPTILE RREPTILE RREPTILE RREPTILE ROMPOMPOMPOMPOMP pg. 6

Graphic courtesy of Dr. Matthew BenacquistaLISA will detect bends in space.

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1500 University Drive SUB 225Billings, Montana 59101

Business and Newsroom: 406-657-2194Fax: 406-657-2191

E-mail: retort@msubillings.edu

The RThe RThe RThe RThe Reeeeetttttororororort St St St St StaftaftaftaftaffffffEditor in Chief...............Olivia KoernigBusiness Manager...........Yacine ZerizefFaculty Advisor.............Nancy SwansonLayout Editor................Dana LivermontAd Manager...........................Niki PorterCopy Editor...............Amanda PattersonNews Editor........................Betsy HarrisA & E Editor.................Melissa DeVriesSports Editor..........................Jed BartonPhoto Editor................Nicole LivermontCreativity Editor....................VACANTReporter...........................Brie RadovichReporter..................................VACANTPhotographer...................Matt LangmanStaff Writer..........................Paul JangulaStaff Writer.................Miranda BredingStaff Writer....................Jessica WadeStaff Writer....................Nate PettersonCartoonist............................Dan HansenColumnist.........................Mike Schrage

Guideline & PoliciesThe Retort encourages the submission of letters to

the Editor. Letters must be under 250 words in lengthand include name, signature, and phone number. TheRetort reserves the right to edit for space and possiblelibel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant tothe students, faculty, and staff of MSU-Billings. The Re-tort is published twice a month. Letters must be submit-ted by the Friday after the most recnt issue date.

The Retort is made possible in part by student feesallocated by ASMSU-Billings.

The Publications Board of ASMSU-Billings advisesThe Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Opin-ions expressed in The Retort are not necessarily those ofits members, the university, students, nor student, state,or federal governments.

I feel like I am end-lessly pontificating on thefiner points of campus in-volvement. One reason forthis feeling could be that Iam, in fact, endlessly pon-tificating on the finer pointsof campus involvement. Or,maybe I feel this way be-cause campus involvementis a topic of continued andundervalued importance.Beyond adding a line to your resume, fos-tering new friendships and becoming apart of something bigger than yourself, in-volvement with campus organizations hasother attractive, yet unsung rewards.

I spent five days in Los Angeles re-cently. Why should you care, you ask?Well, because you paid for my trip. Holdon, I’m not bragging simply for the sakeof making you feel small and unimpor-tant or ripped off. Rather, I am attempt-ing to share what I’ve learned with thoseof you who made my experience possible.And if this prompts someone to join acampus organization, well, that wouldn’tsuck.

One of the perks of belonging to anorganization is the possibility to attendconferences and/or conventions where in-valuable learning can be accessed. I havefriends who spent two days at Chico HotSprings last month on your dime, too. I’mnot kidding about this campus involve-ment thing, man.

I was fortunate enough to have onesuch opportunity as well when, along withthree other Retort staff members, I flewto Los Angeles for a college newspaperconvention. We went to workshops andlectures in addition to attending keynoteaddresses given by a Pulitzer Prize win-ning cartoonist, a Pulitzer winning jour-nalist and an AP reporter. Thanks,ASMSU-B.

The convention lasted three daysand we met students from big and smallcollege newspapers from across the U.S.and Canada. What we got was a grab bagof information and ideas which we are ex-cited to incorporate into The Retort (youmay notice some of them in this very is-sue!). One thing we saw was that thereare other staffs as small and disorganizedas ours. We also saw that there are someextremely impressive daily newspapersput out by some of the bigger journalismschools. There were lessons to be takenaway from all of them. I though it mightbe fun to create a list of “ Four Things ILearned in California at the Expense ofthe Student Body.”

#1 Fontana is a city in the LA val-ley.

Of course the meetings for the con-vention did not last all day. When theday’s lectures adjourned, hundreds of uscollege newspaper nerds were unleashedon LA. While exploring and taking insome of the culture available (ever heard“Baby Got Back” accompanied by a pi-ano?), we met many locals. I was mildlydisheartened and wildly amused to dis-cover that in spite of Ted Kaczynski andthe Freemen, Montana isn’t that wellknown to some of our fellow members ofthe union. Some of my favorite responsesto where we came from are the follow-ing:

“Fontana, huh?” I came to learn thatFontana is a reputedly white trash city inSan Bernardino County that a local morn-ing show affectionately refers to as‘Fontucky.’ No, thank you, we are not

CountrCountrCountrCountrCountry Girl in the Cityy Girl in the Cityy Girl in the Cityy Girl in the Cityy Girl in the Cityfrom Fontana.

“Montana? What stateis that in?” I only wish I waskidding.

“Montana? I’ve heardof that place. Isn’t it kindalike Colorado?” If you meanin the sense that both arestates in the U.S., then yes,I guess it is kinda like Colo-rado.

“Montana? Don’t youguys have the Ozarks?” Ummm, no.

#2 You really do get to see famouspeople in LA.

So on the plane ride down I waslooking at a magazine article that wasshamelessly exploiting the anatomy ofOlympic Speed Skater Apolo Anton Ohno.The very next day waiting for the shuttleoutside of our hotel, who did I chance tosee? That’s right—Mr. Ohno himself. Ihave pictures to prove it for anyone inter-ested; and we are in love.

#3 Public transportation is botha bane and a boon.

Following our $90 cab ride fromLAX to our hotel in Universal City, weresolved to not take any more cab rides.Fortunately, LA has an infant subway sys-tem known as the Metro rail. To make lifewithout a car better for Southern Califor-nians, the Metro also has a number of buslines which can be accessed from the railstops. I’ve lived here for almost 20 years,and if you haven’t noticed, Montana isn’texactly current on the public transporta-tion thing. However, we pretty much mas-tered the system by the end of the trip.This was proven when we spent five hourson the rail and bus lines one day in orderto enjoy two and a half hours at VeniceBeach. Another example was how com-fortable we started to feel standingwedged between a sedentary mosh pit ofcomplete strangers while white knucklingan overhead railing inside a bus travelingat speeds of 40 MPH in between stopswhich occur approximately every cityblock.

The upside is that we could ride allMetro lines for $3 a day.

#4 Operators of public transpor-tation systems are soulless you-know-what-holes.

This fact was brought to my atten-tion during our $90 cab ride. While spend-ing more than an hour with our less-than-gracious Russian born driver, one of theother staff members tried unsuccessfullyto make small talk with said person. Ap-parently, $3.20 a mile does not buy oneout of uncomfortable silence and blatantrudeness. Good to know; polite conver-sation costs extra.

This truism became more apparentwhile riding the Metro buses. Transferringbusses is actually a lot more complicatedthan it might seem, especially for peoplewho are completely ignorant of their sur-roundings. Of the seven bus drivers weencountered, all but two shouted, belittledand otherwise offended riders, ourselvesincluded. Now, we only rode three buses,but we sure did board six different buses.Whatever.

Those are some of the things Ilearned outside of the convention. Lookfor the other newspaper-related issueswhich will be sprinkled throughout up-coming issues of The Retort. Thanksagain!

There comes a time ineveryone’s life when you lookback, and reflect on your own his-tory. One gets a grand sense ofaccomplishment and the knowl-edge that you have made a differ-ence to scores of students andfriends through diligence and hardwork. This kind of reflection isearned in time, and MSU-B has anumber of faculty that have theright to such a claim. It is unfor-tunate that the kind of accomplish-ment referred to here takes somuch time to accumulate, and af-ter so much time there comes atime to pass the responsibility andopportunity of shaping youngminds to another.

Dr. C. Adrian Heidenreichin the Department of History, Po-litical Science, and Native Ameri-can Studies is retiring after 29years of service to this fine insti-tution. Dr. Heidenreich receivedan Associate of Arts degree withwork in Social Science and LifeScience from American RiverCollege California. He receiveda Bachelor of Arts in Anthropol-ogy from California State Univer-

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sity at Sacramento and Master ofArts and a Ph.D. in Anthropol-ogy from the University of Or-egon. His master’s thesis dealtwith the religious aspects of the1890 Ghost Dance. His Ph.D.dissertation focused on the effectsthat early visiting artists had onthe Crow Native Americans.Heidenreich had also completedstudy in English, Archaeology,Biology, Visual Communica-tions, and had contemplated en-trance into the Seminary to studyTheology.

When asked about thebroad range of course studyHeidenreich said that he aspiredto be a Renaissance man, to knowall that is knowable. In this, theinformation age, the Internet fillsdaily with new discoveries thatno one person can completely as-similate. Dr. Heidenreich at-tempted as complete a journey aspossible in his specified interests.

Dr. Heidenreich used hisunique education to instruct stu-dents for four decades. He spentone year as the Post-doctoral Fel-low at the Smithsonian Institute,and then spent nine years atRocky Mountain College. Hethen came to work at Eastern

Montana College, which is nowMSU-B. He received the distin-guished professor award in 1983,and in 2002 the MSU-B Inter-tribal Indian Club awardedHeidenreich a plaque, “In Rec-ognition of Your OutstandingContinued Support of Our Club.”

Heidenreich said he ismost proud of his sponsorshipand association with the Inter-tribal Indian Club. The ClubPow-Wow is the largest studentsponsored event on campus.Heidenreich’s involvement withthe Native American culture isextensive. Another point of prideis his adoption into the Heywoodand Mary Lou Big Day family inthe Crow (Apsaalooke) Tribe,where his name isDuxxiiadeeitche which meansGoes to War in a Good Way.

Dr. Heidenreich’s expertisein Native American Studies hasgiven him the necessary experi-

ence to publish over 30 publica-tions, reports, and papers. Amonghis most notable are the 1982“Baasaxpilua: Northern PlainsCelebration,” a video film onCrow Fair, the 1992 program for“49,” a play by Hanay Geiogamahworking with the EMC Commu-nication Arts Department and Na-tive American Studies program,and most recently the 2005 Mapof the Historical Crow Nation andits Connection to the Great North-west.

Once retired, Heidenreichplans to travel and pursue moreprojects for publication. In thenext year or two a book dealingwith Lewis and Clark’s, mostlyClark’s, involvement in the firsttreaty expeditions to the NorthernPlains and their impact on theNative American tribes they camein contact with is due to be pub-lished. He also plans to makedocumentary films and hopes to

release them on PBS, the HistoryChannel, the Science Channel andother documentary formattedbroadcasters.

Heidenreich would like tospend more time with his families,and attend Native American events.He wants to attend a sweat lodgeevent, and the Dance of UniversalPeace of which his wife,Constance, is a participant. He alsois scheduled to teach a few classesat MSU-B after his retirement. Hewon’t have a full load of classes,but his unique expertise will stillbe available. “I’m going to be re-tired not tired,” he said with a smile.

Dr. Heidenreich is openinga new chapter in his life to explorehis creative energy and makegreater contributions in his speci-fied fields. He says what he willmiss the most is the daily contactwith his students, and which willcertainly be missed by by his stu-dents as well.

Photo courtesy of Dr. C. Adrian HeidenreichDr. Heidenreich while doing field work.

Photo courtesy of Dr. C. Adrian HeidenreichDr. Heidenreich poses in front of buffalo on Native Land.

Have you ever wondered wherethe money from the “and fees” portionof tuition and fees actually goes? Themoney goes into a fund controlled byASMSU-B. The fund is used then toback things like The Retort, travel forstudent organizations and clubs to con-ventions, and to put on activities like theannual Easter egg hunt. One of the more

colorful and culturally significant (andthe largest) ASMSU-B-sponsored eventsis the Inter-tribal Indian Club (ITIC) PowWow.

The 38th Annual MSU-B Powwow will be March 30 and April 1 at theMetra Park Expo Center. MSU-Billingsstudents gain free admission when theypresent their U-card.

Director of Multicultural StudentServices and Adviser of ITIC QuentinGilham said it’s going to be “a big one.”Last year’s Pow Wow saw about 3,000in attendance. This year, Gilham expectsto see at least that many, and probablymore.

“It’s billed as the largest intercol-legiate Pow Wow in the west,” saidGilham. “I’ve got people calling fromall over for this.”

For those who may not know,Gilham explained the pow wow as alarge gathering of vendors and displaysof American Indian art and culture. Hesaid there will be artwork and artifactsfor sale both days. Vendors are peoplefrom all over the nation who travel thepow wow circuit peddling their wares.

Of course, the largest componentof a pow wow is the drummers and danc-ers. The ITIC Pow Wow will feature theusual dance categories (fancy, grass, tra-ditional, jingle, etc.) along with somespecials which are unique to this area,like the Crow style.

Dr. Jeff Sanders of the Dept. ofHistory, Native American Studies, Po-litical Science and Sociology said theevent has “great performance value.” Hesaid the pow wow is a cultural event,much like the Cinco de Mayo gatheringin South Park.

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“This is not a sacred event; this isa social event,” said Sanders. “It’s a cel-ebration of Native American culture andpride.”

The grand entries will be at 12p.m. and 6 p.m. on Fri. and Sat. Gilhamsaid he thinks this is one of the most im-pressive parts of the weekend. The grandentry is basically what the name implies.It’s a parade of sorts, led by a colorguard, followed by drummers and dancecontestants.

“When you see it you’ll think,‘Wow. They’ve been doing this for thou-sands of years,” said Gilham.

ITIC has about 30 members, all ofwhom will be visible during the powwow. Gilham said the group will be re-sponsible for the usual event manage-ment matters. He said they’ll be takingentries, selling raffle tickets and evenjudging categories.

also involved with this project.Tricky business. It is a good thingthere are qualified individuals.

A little background onBenaquista starts with his school-ing. He earned his undergraduatefrom Reed College in Portland,Oregon and recieve his Ph.D. atMontana State UniversityBozeman. After landing in Mon-tana to complete his education, Dr.Benaquista joined the professors atMSU-Billings as a professor ofphysics. He started work for NASAin 1995 with a 10 week SummerFaculty Fellowship and has beenworking with them since. Hispresent LISA project is tentativelyset to launch in 2017 or 2018. Wecan also expect his absence in lateMarch while he is on a trip to En-gland to check out and analyzesome astronomical data. Lots oftravel, lots of science, and a littlefun in between. MSU-Billings canbe proud to call Dr. Benaquista oneof its own.

Part of the excitement about thisyear’s event is because of the host drum-mers. One group, White Fish Jrs. hailfrom Saskatchewan, and the other group,Southern Boyz, are from Chattanooga,OK. Gilham said that the drummers arereally well known within the pow wowcircuit and have developed quite a fol-lowing. In his opinion, the host drum-mers are the most integral ingredientwhen planning a pow wow. Since thehost drummers are so widelyaniticipated, Gilham expects the eventto be a success.

Dr. Sanders said that in the past,very few non-Indian residents have at-tended. He said he’d definitely like tosee more MSU-Billings students andBillings residents out this year.

“Anyone interested in music,dance, rhythm, color or art ought to go,”said Sanders.

STSTSTSTSTAR AR AR AR AR from pg. 1

Photo courtesy of Dr. Jeffrey SandersNative American dancers join together for the Grand Entry.

The first thing that inevitablycomes up when you mention Profes-sor Nettiksimmons is “Where did heget that name?” The answer is actu-ally very simple. It is a combinationof his last name and his ex-wife’s lastname. That in itself is the first cluethat this is not your every day collegeprofessor.

Nettiksimmons has taught atMSU-B on and off for at least 10 years.He is currently a University Lecturerin the University Honors Program, En-vironmental Studies, the English/Phi-losophy Department, and Political Sci-ence Department. He also holds a law

Well the only thing I canthink of to explain the lack ofcrime lately is the recent on-slaught of midterms here oncampus. It seems students weretoo busy studying to create theusual havoc, but never fear- westill managed to have a few oc-currences, not the least being anewfound need for a campaign

BeBeBeBeBeyyyyyond the Blacond the Blacond the Blacond the Blacond the Blackboard: Drkboard: Drkboard: Drkboard: Drkboard: Dr. Ne. Ne. Ne. Ne. Nettiksimmonsttiksimmonsttiksimmonsttiksimmonsttiksimmons

to make MSUB a urine-freecampus! It seems we keep hav-ing the same problems each se-mester what with the pee pee andthe porn and the hey hey and thepain and the ouch! (fans of theProfessor Frink know what I’mtalking about) Well anyway,here you go. It ain’t much and itain’t pretty.

2-11 An officerfound a student urinating in theRimrock parking lot and of

course, when asked how muchhe had to drink, the response was“just two beers.” An MIP andcitation for public intoxicationwere issued.

2-13 A personwho is not a student was caughtred handed looking at porn in thecommons area of the library. Ontop of that, an inquiry was madeand officers discovered that theoffender is listed on the statesexual/violent offender registry.

2-18 A couple ofcitations were issued during atraffic stop in the Rimrock park-ing lot for obstructing an officer.

2-18 S o m e b o d ysnuck into the men’s basketballlocker room during a game andabsconded with a couple of play-ers’ wallets. So. Not. Cool.

3-2 Officers werecalled to one of the off campusfamily homes and a PFMA wasissued with a no contact order.

3-4 Another dis-turbance behind a family homerental, this time it was some latenight revelers in the alley. Of-ficers kindly asked them tomove on and they kindly com-plied.

Yeehaw. That’s it friends.Until next time, you know thedrill. P.S. Shout out to MattHarris just for the hell of it.(Olivia has started a trend, onceagain)

degree and practices occasionally.After talking with

Nettiksimmons, one would think theremust be at least 30 hours in his daysbecause it is virtually impossible to dowhat he does in just 24. Aside fromteaching full-time at MSU-B,Nettiksimmons participates in at leastfour musical collaborations.

Nettiksimmons is in a jazz quar-tet called “Four or More” that plays atThe Den on Wednesday nights from 8-11 pm.

He is in a band called “BattlestarKramden” that can best be describedas playing music with a ‘wink and anod.’ They play cover tunes in origi-nal ways such as a bluegrass version ofLed Zeppelin’s “Black Dog” and a

reggae version of “Smoke on the Wa-ter.”

It’s nothing out-of-the-ordinaryfor Kramden to throw a bit ofBeethoven’s “Ode to Joy” into “Paintit Black” by the Rolling Stones.

Nettiksimmons also plays with aband called “Dan Page and theBarncats.” It’s an American-rock/folk/country-type band. While the guitar ishis main instrument, for the Barncatshe plays the steel guitar as well as themandolin. The Barncats will be play-ing on March 17 at 9 p.m. at the FortRockvale Casino south of Laurel.

Nettiksimmons plays finger stylesolo guitar in coffee houses aroundtown and records his own music underthe name Descant Null.

Nettiksimmons has been playingguitar since he was a sophomore in highschool. He grew up in Montana. Whilehis forte is playing the guitar, he hasrecently taken up the steel guitar andeven playing with the accordion a bit.He enjoys playing in bands and de-scribes it as “performing for people ina dramatic way.” He enjoys the energy,camaraderie and creativity that musi-cians playing together can create.

In true rock-and-roll fashion,Nettiksimmons didn’t seek out bands tojoin but they “just happened.” A fewguys jammin’ together and the nextthing you know, he’s in three bands.Sounds NOT like a professor-type at all,but that’s the purpose of “Beyond theBlackboard,” to crush the stereotype of“the professor,” which Nettiksimmonsdoes nicely.

To recap the reasonNettiksimmons bids one to think hisdays must be longer than the rest ofours. He occasionally works at a lawfirm, teaches full time, is remarried,does yoga, is a Netflix documentaryfreak(even though he hasn’t seen thepenguin one!) and he plays in FOURdifferent musical conglomerations.Wow. Check out one of his perfor-mances and you surely won’t be dis-appointed.

hearse, and You Should, Too” that ad-dressed a checklist of things to help prepfor that important interview. Anotherworkshop was “Creative InformationTechnology Careers, Innovative OptionsUsing Two and Four Year Degrees” forthe new communication age. There wasalso “The Customer is Always Right,Tips on Providing Stellar Customer Ser-vice” and “Shape Up Your Health CareCareer, Explore Sports Medicine, Physi-cal Therapy and More.” The fifth work-shop was “Careers Always Match Ma-jors or Not, Looking Beyond the Obvi-ous to Find a Career” being the lastworkshop in the line up.

Some of the advice to be gainedcame from possible employers likeWestern Security Bank whose represen-tative said, “We take anybody that hascustomer experience with any type ofdegree.” The recruiter explained that anydegree helps with getting a banking li-cense and not only business and financemajors can get jobs; they’re open to ev-eryone. The Navy said it offers goodcareers and prefer universities like MSU-Billings because “it’s a smaller crowd,so we get better quality.” They said thatmost of the students they talked to hadan average GPA of 3.2, unusually highfor a career fair situation. Other employ-ers commented on how GPA was notvery important; it’s all about experience.Get involved and build a network withpeople skills and you’re on your way.

Beyond workshops and careerguidance, students could go to the ca-reer fair for free stuff and we all knowthat college students love anything that’sfree. From spare pens and pencils tosquishy balls and other handy little toyslike Frisbees and ice scrapers or mints,free goodies were given out by almostevery business. Some of the businessesin attendance were Western SecurityBank, Wal-Mart, FedEx, National CreditUnion Administration, Target, US Army,US Navy, Napa and Billings Clinic.Each annual career fair brings new op-portunity for students as well as an ar-ray of free necessities for every studentto enjoy.

CCCCCAREERS AREERS AREERS AREERS AREERS from pg. 1

Photo courtesy of Dennis NettiksimmonsProf. Nettiksimmons jams during a recent show.

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Professors are getting outof the classroom and into thefield. The Grants and SponsoredPrograms Office has raised moremoney in a six-month periodthan has been raised in any otherfull year. Under the managementof directors Dr. David McGinnisand John Walsh there has beenan increase in funding for re-search projects.

With increased funding,professors have more of an op-portunity to conduct research intheir field of study. Walsh notes,“Our goal is to get people fundedso they can do the work theywant to do.”

There have already been49 proposals in the first sixmonths of the fiscal year.McGinnis explains, “We have alot of good stuff going righthere…We want to become thethird research university in thestate.”

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In conjunction with rais-

ing money for research projects,Dr. David McGinnis is nostranger to field work. McGinnishas been conducting research onclimatology and ecosystems forthe past 10 years. McGinnis wasasked to present research on theecosystem in Yellowstone Na-tional Park at the American As-sociation for the Advancementof Science (AAAS) in St. Louis,MO.

McGinnis teamed up withDr. David Bennett, associateprofessor of geography at theUniversity of Iowa, for the re-search project in Yellowstone.The study investigated the eco-system in the Park. They wereconcerned with the interactionsbetween elk, wolves and people.The researchers noted, “Too of-ten, these investigations focus onnatural ecosystem processeswhile excluding human pres-ence.” They explain that whenwolves were introduced the elkpopulation declined and vegeta-tion began to grow rapidly.

The National ScienceFoundation Biocomplexity-Couple Natural-Human Systemsprogram funded the project. Be-

sides the effect of wolf introduc-tion, the program encompassedhuman decisions on land-usechange, hunter behaviors, cli-mate and snow, elk populationdynamics and migration routes,and willow and aspen growthpatterns.

Being selected to presenthis findings at the AAAS is anextreme honor. The selectionprocess for the meeting is veryexclusive. McGinnis now seeksto help other faculty memberscreate their own researchprojects through the Grants andSponsored Programs Office.

Over the past 10 years,McGinnis has been a senior in-vestigator on nearly $2 millionof funded research. McGinnishas been to many places. Heworked at the University of Ari-zona, Idaho State University,the University of Iowa, and theUniversity of Colorado. Heearned his masters and Ph.D atPennsylvania State Universityand was awarded the Warren G.Nystrom award for Best Disser-tation in Geography from theAssociation of American Geog-raphers in 1996.

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where they go and what they do.Barron is attempting to answer some

tough questions about the lizards in particu-lar, and about life-science in general, suchas, “Why do we see reproductive birth pat-terns the way we do?” and, “Does what weobserve fit our theories?” Because these aresuch far-reaching questions, his study islong-term. Barron plans to study the lizardsfor a minimum of five years in order to drawsome meaningful conclusions from his data.“I think there is a real place in science forlong-term field studies,” said Barron whenasked about the basic necessity for such aproject. “Good science raises more ques-tions than it answers,” he said.

Barron worked alone the first year ofhis project, scouring his field site east of thePryor Mountains near the Montana-Wyo-ming border.

“I basically stumbled onto my fieldsite,” he recalled. “I discovered it by acci-dent.”

Last summer, however, he acquireda research partner to assist him thanks to ateacher-partner grant from MSU-B. BenLarson, a biology teacher at Senior High

School, volunteered to lend a hand in locat-ing and tagging the lizards. Together, theyspend six hours a day, five days a week walk-ing up and down their field site looking forthe reptiles.

“It averages out to about six lizardsper day,” Barron says. “I’ve found about200 over two years. That’s a lot of lizards.”

He notes that there seems to be a lowersurvival rate among males, perhaps becausethey are more conspicuous to predators.Also, there is almost no visible migration inthe tagged lizards, which is remarkableamong reptiles in general. Anectdotal evi-dence also suggests that the population ofPhrynosoma hernadesi is on the decline;however, more data is needed to draw anylong-term conclusions. The species has beenplaced under the heading of “a Species ofSpecial Concern,” which is similar to –though not nearly as severe as – an endan-gered species.

Dr. James Barron earned a B.S. inGeophysics from Purdue in 1982, andworked as a geophysicist for Tenneco OilCo. in Lafayette, LA from 1982 to 1989. Hereceived his Ph.D. in Zoology from IndianaUniversity in 1995.

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Photo by Nicole LivermontDr. McGinnis was worked to allow better research on campus.

MSU-BILLINGS NEWS SER-VICE – Two music students in the Mon-tana State University-Billings Depart-ment of Music recently won covetedmusic awards. Jacquelyn Weitz, pianist, and Brianne Roney, mezzo-soprano, were named Young Artist winners in theMusic Teachers National Association(MTNA) Northwest Divisional Compe-titions, held in Portland, Ore., qualify-ing them to be among seven competi-tors at the national competition later thismonth in Austin, Texas.Jacquelyn Weitz,from Billings, is a senior with a doublemajor in piano performance and vocalperformance.

Jacquelyn has a long list of musi-cal accomplishments. As a pianist, shewon both the High School and Colle-giate division of the Montana Associa-tion of Symphony Orchestras’ YoungArtist Competition. In spring 2003, shewas a finalist in the Pinault InternationalCompetition and was awarded first placein the state division of the Music Teach-ers National Association Young ArtistCompetition.

She was the first-place winner ofthe Missoula Symphony Association’sYoung Artist Competition in February

2004, which garnered her two solo pi-ano performances with the MissoulaSymphony that same month.

Jacquelyn has been successful innational and international piano compe-titions as well.

In April 2004, Jacquelyn won theAurora Symphony Orchestra ConcertoCompetition, held inBoulder, Colo., and per-formed Rachmaninoff’s “Third Concerto in DMinor” with the AuroraSymphony Orchestra,conducted by MaestroRichard Niezen, thatMay.

It is a pianist’sdream to be one of only24 chosen out of hun-dreds of applicants toparticipate in the YoungArtists Program at theprestigious Van CliburnInstitute in Fort Worth,Texas. Jacquelyn’sdream was realized notonly once, in the summerof 2004, but an unheardof twice, as she was cho-sen again to participate inthe 2005 Van CliburnInstitute.

In November2004, Jacquelyn waschosen as one of only 30students, worldwide, andthe only student from the United States,to compete in the Young Artists Compe-

tition of the Netherlands, where over 20countries were represented.

Jacquelyn is a piano student ofMSU-Billings Music Professor DorotheaCromley.

Brianne Roney, a junior vocal per-formance major from Cody, Wyo., madeher solo debut in the Rimrock Opera’s

production of Verdi’s “LaTraviata,” as Flora. Shewas a member of theRimrock Opera En-semble in “Nosferatu”and “La Boheme.” Thispast summer, she sang theroles of Sister Dolcina/First Touriere in “SisterAngelica” with RimrockOpera’s One ActFestival.

Before coming toMSU-Billings, Brianneperformed and competedin everything from thelocal to international lev-els in dance, instrumen-tal, vocal, and theatricalpresentations. She stud-ied tap, jazz, modern,and ballet for 14 years atthe Cody Center for thePerforming Arts.

Brianne is a vocalstudent of Lesley Jorden.

From the stage tothe MSU-Billings tenniscourt, Brianne is equally

talented. For the past two years, she hasplayed #1 singles for the MSU-Billings

tennis team. She was a two-time Wyo-ming state champion in #1 singles, un-defeated her last year.

The MTNA Young Artist Compe-tition is a prestigious event held eachyear, for college music students, duringthe MTNA national conference. The na-tional winner of this competition re-ceives a cash prize and will perform in aWinners’ Concert during the confer-ence. Students pursuing undergraduate,master’s and doctoral degrees all are eli-gible for the competition. The three-tiered MTNA competitions begin at thestate level. Winners of each state com-petition advance to the divisional stageand then proceed to the national compe-tition finals. The Northwest Division iscomprised of colleges and universitiesfrom Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Wash-ington, Oregon and Alaska.

The MTNA is a non-profit orga-nization comprising 24,000 independentand collegiate music teachers commit-ted to advancing the value of music studyand music making to society. Foundedin 1876, MTNA is the oldest profes-sional music teachers’ association in theUnited States.

During the past three years, theMSU-Billings Department of Music hassent students to the MTNA national com-petition. Irene Duke, a clarinetist and a2005 MSU-Billings music graduate, par-ticipated in the national competition inboth 2004 and 2005. She was a studentof MSU-Billings Music Professor Dr.Gary Behm, chairman of MSU-BillingsDepartment of Music.

MSU-B Music SMSU-B Music SMSU-B Music SMSU-B Music SMSU-B Music Students Named Divisional Ytudents Named Divisional Ytudents Named Divisional Ytudents Named Divisional Ytudents Named Divisional Young Aroung Aroung Aroung Aroung Artist Winnertist Winnertist Winnertist Winnertist WinnersssssJacquelyn WJacquelyn WJacquelyn WJacquelyn WJacquelyn Weitzeitzeitzeitzeitzand Briane Rand Briane Rand Briane Rand Briane Rand Briane Roneoneoneoneoneyyyyyttttto Compeo Compeo Compeo Compeo CompettttteeeeeNationally ThisNationally ThisNationally ThisNationally ThisNationally ThisMonthMonthMonthMonthMonth

Photos courtesy of MSU-BNews Service

Weitz (Top) and Roneywill compete at Nationals.

MSU-BILLINGS NEWSSERVICE – Dr. Ronald P. Sexton,chancellor of Montana State Uni-versity-Billings, was the unani-mous choice of a selection com-mittee, from a broad field of col-lege and university presidentsthroughout the Pacific Northwestand Western Canada, to receive theprestigious Distinguished Leader-ship Award for the District VIIICouncil for the Advancement andSupport of Higher Education Chancellor Sexton was accompa-nied by his family, friends and col-leagues from MSU-Billings whenhe accepted the award Friday, Feb-ruary 24, at a banquet in his honor,in Vancouver, B.C.

It was noted in his commen-dation that since becoming chan-cellor of MSU-Billings in 1995,“Chancellor Sexton has created aninnovative vision for Montana StateUniversity-Billings that has in-spired others to embrace it and toact on it. The result has been anexponential increase in educationalservice to the community and anenhanced stature in the region.”

In the face of higher educa-tion funding challenges and de-clines in high school graduationrates, Chancellor Sexton waspraised “for transforming” MSU-Billings. While acting chancellorin 1994, he initiated the university’sfirst campus-wide strategic plan-ning effort, “leading the way toachieving those strategic initiativesand more.”

Here are a few highlights ofhis tenure as chancellor that gar-nered for him this prestigiousaward:

Two-Year Education. Chancellor Sexton was the first uni-versity administrator to publiclychallenge Montana leaders to fo-cus attention and resources on two-year post-secondary education. Heboldly pioneered a campaign ofawareness and a call for change,working to gather community andlegislative support, resulting in:

-The evolution of the MSU-Billings College of Technology intoa comprehensive community col-lege to better serve the needs of theregion.

-A Montana University Sys-tem Shared Leadership Initiative,highlighting two-year post-second-ary education. o Montana leg-islative approval of a $29.5 millionbond issue for capital improve-ments on two-year campuses.

-Legislative approval of $3million for equipment upgrades onMontana two-year campuses, with$1 million allocated to the MSU-Billings College of Technology. oA nearly $2 million grant from theU.S. Department of Labor to de-velop training programs for theconstruction industry at the MSU-Billings College of Technology. Asa result, a new program in construc-tion trades at the MSU-BillingsCollege of Technology will be upand running this year.

-A Two-Year College Coun-cil created by the Montana Boardof Regents.

Because of Chancellor

Sexton’s ceaseless efforts, thepeople in the greater-Billings com-munity will be able to watch oneof MSU-Billings’ biggest successstories, as a new academic build-ing takes shape at the MSU-Bill-ings College of Technology. By fall2007, the new building will beready for its first group of students.

By earmarking $9 millionfor this project, the 2005 Legisla-ture and Governor BrianSchweitzer extended a tremendousvote of confidence in MSU-Bill-ings for the endless possibilitiespresented by two-year education inhealth care, construction trades,transportation, computer and en-ergy-related technical fields.

Under Chancellor Sexton’sstewardship, the MSU-BillingsCollege of Technology has beenexpanding its role and scope in or-der to address continued workforcedevelopment and two-year educa-tion needs across the greater-Bill-ings area, eastern Montana and thestate, preparing to better serve thestudents and employers of tomor-row.

Last fall, more than 1,000students, a record enrollment, werestudying at the MSU-Billings Col-lege of Technology, in medicaltechnology, automotive technol-ogy, computer/systems analysis,power plant technology and otherhigh-demand areas.

The College of AlliedHealth Professions was estab-lished by Chancellor Sexton to re-spond to the needs of Billings’10,000-person medical commu-nity, clustering degree programs inthree critical areas: o HealthAdministration; o Health andHuman Performance; and o Re-habilitation and Human Services.

The College of Profes-sional Studies and LifelongLearning was established byChancellor Sexton to respond to thechanging academic needs of con-stituents, resulting in:

-MSU-Billings Online, thelargest distance-education programin Montana, with 10 degree optionsfrom certificates through master’s,serving more than 7,000, annually.

-The Office of Training andDevelopment, which offers cus-tomized educational programmingfor business and industry.

-Community Partnershipsthat are fostered at the CPSLL’sDowntown Campus, where expan-sion and renovation provide easieraccess to higher education for11,000 downtown workers.

-Leadership Montana – Dr.Sexton was one of the founders ofthis statewide trusteeship program,a cooperative venture of business,industry, and civic leaders.

-Big Sky Economic Devel-opment Authority – In February2006, Chancellor Sexton becamechairman of the Big Sky EconomicDevelopment Authority Board ofDirectors, bridging a critical part-nership between the university,business, industry, community andstate.

A comprehensive, five-year, $21 million “People, Pride

& Promise” Campaign is in itsfourth year. Chancellor Sexton hasbeen deeply involved. He identi-fies, cultivates, solicits and stewardsdonors; encourages deans and otheradministrators to do the same; in-spires campaign volunteers; andhas set an example by making hisown financial investment.

International Outreach. Chancellor Sexton established apartnership with Anjo InternationalBusiness School in Japan and JilinUniversity in China to provide dis-tance accounting education forJapanese students and exchangeopportunities for MSU-Billingsstudents and faculty.

Chancellor Sexton’s life hasbeen one of service to MSU-Bill-ings, its students and the state. Hebegan his half-century commit-ment when he stepped onto thecampus of Eastern Montana Col-lege, the predecessor of MSU-Bill-ings, as a freshman, in the mid-1950s, graduating in 1959with a bachelor of sciencedegree in social sciencesand history, and a minor inhealth, physical educationand recreation. In 1964, heearned the master of sci-ence degree in guidanceand counseling, with a mi-nor in psychology, fromEMC. After beingawarded a doctor of phi-losophy-education degreefrom the University or Or-egon in 1971, Dr. Sextoncompleted post-doctoralstudy at the University ofKansas.

He served as clinicaldirector for the College ofEducation at CentralMichigan University, butthe pull of home broughthim back to the EasternMontana College campusin 1977 to become directorof the EMC Institute forHabilitative Services and a profes-sor in the School of Education.

In August 1987, he wasnamed EMC’s academic vice presi-dent and professor of special edu-cation and reading; on July 1, 1994,he became acting chancellor andcontinued as a professor of specialeducation and reading; then, onMarch 22, 1995, Dr. Ronald P. Sex-ton was appointed chancellor ofMontana State University-Billings.

When asked about signifi-cant changes he has seen in his 50years with the university, he said,“It has been satisfying to see an in-creased investment in the students,staff, faculty and curricula thatmakes the Montana UniversitySystem what it is: one of the finest,academically, and one of the mostcost effective public university sys-tems in the United States. Increasedfunding for additional workforcedevelopment programs and fundsfor scholarships give students aboost. All of these efforts positionthe Montana University Systemand MSU-Billings to better re-spond to the needs of the state, theregion and a changing globaleconomy.

“This university has a vitalrole in our community. With 5,000students, more than 900 employ-ees and an economic impact thatexceeds $65 million annually,MSU-Billings will continue to playan important role in the growth,education and success of Billingsin the future. It is also a responsi-bility we take very seriously.”

One of his biggest concerns,he said, is that, “A larger and largershare of the burden of paying forthe cost of higher education is be-ing passed on to our students andtheir families. We are making ev-ery effort to curtail those coststhrough greater efficiencies, in-creased numbers of scholarshipsand larger scholarship amounts,improved accessibility through in-novative scheduling and onlinecourses and programs, and univer-sity/industry partnerships that pro-vide significant internship oppor-tunities and economic support for

our programs.” Keeping down the cost of

higher education is important to Dr.Sexton. He knows, firsthand, howhard it is to work your way throughcollege, and often can be found sit-ting with students, listening withunderstanding as they share theirstories of struggle. Born and raisedin Billings, he was a first-genera-tion college student who juggled awork schedule with his studies andathletics. It seems he never didlearn to slow down. His strongwork ethic is legendary on campus,and many attribute it, in part, to thesignificant achievements on cam-pus under his leadership. As al-ways, however, he is quick to handoff the credit. “Whatever successeswe have experienced, as well as allof those that lie ahead, can be at-tributed to the support of a very gen-erosity community that continuesto believe in the importance of theiruniversity — Montana State Uni-versity-Billings, and to the extraor-dinarily talented and hardworkingfaculty and staff. The teaching,scholarly work, research and ser-vice commitments of our facultyand staff are second to none andnot only provide our students with

excellence in the classroom, buttouch and impact every segment ofour community through their out-reach, leadership and volunteerwork.

“The brightest star in the fu-ture of Montana State University-Billings lies in the strength of thecommitment of this community, itsleaders across every sector — pri-vate and public — who generouslygive of their time, resources andexpertise to encourage and ensureour continued growth and devel-opment.

“There are seismic changestaking place in our world right now.Technology not only is bringing thecitizens of this planet closer to-gether, but expectations of employ-ers, taxpayers and students are forc-ing all of us to evaluate and addresshow best post-secondary educationis to be delivered, what it entailsand how best it will be used to servethe greater good of society.

“The coming yearwill present its share of chal-lenges — in everythingfrom declining numbers ofhigh school graduates inMontana to a limitedamount of resources withwhich to get things done —but none will be insur-mountable.” When Dr.Sexton walks across cam-pus, he sees the universityas it is today, with the uniqueperspective of how it hasevolved over the span of thepast five decades. He canshow you exactly where hemet his wife, Marilynn,while they both were stu-dents at Eastern MontanaCollege. They have fourchildren and three grand-sons. Marilynn calls herhusband “the most devoted,loving and patient grandfa-ther in the world,” and de-

lights in sharing photos of him play-ing with his beloved grandsons attheir family cabin in Red Lodge.

“Marilynn and I recentlyspent hours looking over photo-graphs of our years on campus,dating back to the 1950s, and awave of nostalgia swept over me,reminiscing about the people at theuniversity who have made our livesso special these past five decades,and there are a lot of them,” he saidwith a smile. “Most things on cam-pus are transitory, but the one con-stant in my mind is the caliber ofteaching that has been the legacyour faculty members have handeddown to thousands of students, stu-dents who then went on to influ-ence the lives of yet thousandsmore. What our faculty membershave accomplished with their tal-ent is the most important work Ican imagine, and they have done itoutstandingly well; the success ofour graduates is testimony to that.They are the credit behind any suc-cess this university has enjoyed. They are the history of this institu-tion, and if we are judged in thefuture on the legacy they left, wewill boast a history well written, andone of which all of us would beproud.”

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Photo courtesy of www.msubillings.eduChancellor Sexton’s contributions toMSU-B are numerous.

March is National NutritionMonth. This is a great time to look atyour current eating habits and makechanges if needed. How healthy isyour diet? How does it compare to theaverage MSU-B diet? Here’s someinfo that may be interesting and useful.

During the fall semester of 2004we conducted the National CollegeHealth Assessment. We distributed thesurveys in classrooms and obtained644 surveys. One survey questionasked, “How many servings of fruits

National Nutrition MonthNational Nutrition MonthNational Nutrition MonthNational Nutrition MonthNational Nutrition Monthand vegetables do you usually haveper day?” The results may surpriseyou.

Four percent said they don’t eatfruits or vegetables. Seventy percentsaid they have one or two per day.Twenty percent said they eat 3 to 4daily and only five percent answeredthey eat 5 or more per day. It’srecommended to have at least fiveserving daily. Fruits and vegetablesgive us vitamins, minerals, water,fiber, antioxidants and much more.

Planning and preparation areimportant in having a healthy diet.Simply having access to healthy foodswill help you make healthier choices.Prepare a grocery list before goingshopping. Once inside the store, shopin the outer aisles first, and then movetowards the center of the store. Freshfoods are usually on the perimeter,whereas highly processed foods aregenerally more towards the center.

When shopping, pay attention towhat’s on sale, and stock up onproduce that will “keep” for awhile,such as apples, oranges, severalvegetables, etc. This will help stretchyour grocery dollar.

Have you bought tasty fresh fruitor veggies only to have forgottenabout them and found them rotted inthe bottom bin of your refrigerator?Once you have your healthy goodies athome, you may want to keep them (thefruit, anyway) in a decorative bowl onyour counter or desk. This will addcolor to your home and make healthysnacks a quick and easy choice thatwill be hard to forget!

When planning and eating yourmeals, make it a goal to eat at least oneserving of a fruit or vegetable in eachmeal. Then have at least two forsnacks throughout the day. Prepara-tion will help you achieve this. Haveproduce on hand that will travel well

in your backpack, such as oranges,apples, bananas, carrots, cauliflower,and broccoli. Buy inexpensivereusable food containers to carry more“fragile” items, such as fresh peaches,pears, grapes, grape tomatoes, etc.Eating a wide selection of fruit andveggies will not only make your mealsand snacks more interesting, but willhelp you wide variety of nutrients aswell.

Try making a deliberate decisionto get more fruits and veggies in yourdiet. In about two to four weeks, see ifyou notice a difference. By payingattention to what you’re eating, youmay feel better, have more energy, andlook forward to meals instead of justreaching for the fast fixes you mighthave chosen previously. A couplehelpful nutrition websites includewww.nutrition.gov andwww.montanadieteticassociation.org.

Take care and stay healthy.

UCM bringsUCM bringsUCM bringsUCM bringsUCM bringsEcumenism tEcumenism tEcumenism tEcumenism tEcumenism tooooo

CampusCampusCampusCampusCampusUnited Campus Ministry is a reli-

gious club on campus that spends its timeholding Bible studies and worshiping.It also does service projects, such ashelping the homeless, and helps its mem-bers as well as the community reinforceits faith in God, or even helps people findtheir faith. It is supported by UnitedMethodist Church, the PresbyterianChurch USA, the Lutheran Church(ELCA), United Church of Christ, Chris-tian Church (Disciples of Christ), and theAmerican Baptist Churches, but acceptsall different backgrounds. Traditionaland non-traditional students, faculty, andstaff are all welcome to attend any or allUCM events.

Every Tuesday there is a noonlunch gathering. Lunch is provided andit is held in the SUB atrium. On Wednes-day there is a noon Bible study, also heldin the SUB atrium. It is casual Biblestudy and you have to bring a lunch. OnThursday there is “Food, Fun, Faith” at

Club Connections: UnitClub Connections: UnitClub Connections: UnitClub Connections: UnitClub Connections: United Campus Ministred Campus Ministred Campus Ministred Campus Ministred Campus Ministry and Psi Chiy and Psi Chiy and Psi Chiy and Psi Chiy and Psi Chi5:00 p.m. During that time, the groupmeets at a different place every week,and they cook, eat, and stick around fora fun activity, movies, chatting, or lis-tening to music. Retreats are held oneweekend a semester where MSU-Bill-ings students meet with students fromBozeman and Missoula.

Additional services that the min-istry provides are counseling, crisis as-sistance, referral to community services,and they can even give you a ride tolocal churches. The campus minister,Rev. Kim Woeste is available mostmornings Monday- Friday, and alwaysby appointment for praying or talking.her office is located in SUB 207, or shecan be contacted by phone at 657-2165,or by email atunitedcampusministry@hotmail.com.

For more information about theclub itself, check out http://www.msubillings.edu/umc.

Psi Chi UnitPsi Chi UnitPsi Chi UnitPsi Chi UnitPsi Chi UnitesesesesesFFFFFuture Shrinks ofuture Shrinks ofuture Shrinks ofuture Shrinks ofuture Shrinks of

the Wthe Wthe Wthe Wthe WorldorldorldorldorldPsi Chi was founded in 1929 and

is a branch of the National Honor Soci-ety. Men and women who are interestedin Psychology are encouraged to join.

The minimum requirements for admit-tance include having a GPA or 3.0, be-ing enrolled at least one year at MSU-Billings, and working toward a majoror minor in psychology.The club feeds the creativ-ity of their members by us-ing professional programsand other leadership pro-grams. The goals of thisclub are to maintain scho-lastic excellence, and tomake advancements in thefield of psychology. Thisclub publishes a magazine“Eye on Psi Chi,” which in-forms the members aboutthe goings-on of the club.

Psi Chi is a memberof the Association of Col-lege Honor Societies, affili-ated with the American Psy-chological Association, theAmerican PsychologicalSociety, and is a sister honorsociety to Psi Beta. There

are over 1,000 colleges and universitiesthat participate in this club nationally.

The students and faculty advisorschoose who they believe will achieve ex-

cellence in the club. Afterthey induct new members,they register them with thenational board, located inChattanooga, Tenn. Underthe president, Amanda L.Engellant, meetings areheld the first and thirdWednesdays of everymonth at 3:00 p.m. in theGarrison Room on thefifth floor of the LA build-ing. Among other things,the club shows a movieone time a month that per-tains to psychology andmental health, in hopes tolower the preconceivednotions that Americancurrently have about men-tal illness because of Hol-lywood.

Photo courtesy of www.msubillings.eduRev. Kim Woeste talks to a student during Welcome Week.

Graphic courtesy ofpsichi.vassar.edu

Psi Chi brings movies andleadership to MSU-B.

It’s Election Time AIt’s Election Time AIt’s Election Time AIt’s Election Time AIt’s Election Time Again! Rgain! Rgain! Rgain! Rgain! Roll Out the Platfoll Out the Platfoll Out the Platfoll Out the Platfoll Out the PlatformsormsormsormsormsMain CampusMain CampusMain CampusMain CampusMain Campus

CandidatCandidatCandidatCandidatCandidateseseseses

SeSeSeSeSeth Bergleeth Bergleeth Bergleeth Bergleeth BergleeWhile

serving as aSenator for thispast semester, Ihave begun tounderstand theneeds of thestudents and theuniversity as awhole. I would really appreciatethe opportunity to continue workingfor the students of MSU-Billings.

AnthonAnthonAnthonAnthonAnthony Floresy Floresy Floresy Floresy FloresIf elected,

I assure myrecommenda-tions, votes, anddecisions arefair and benefi-cial to thefaculty, adminis-tration andstudent body alike.

HaleHaleHaleHaleHaley DePuydty DePuydty DePuydty DePuydty DePuydtTo fairly

represent theMSU-Billingsstudent body. Ilove to beinvolved instudent organi-zations andbring both funand organizational skills to groups Ibelong to, such Jacket StudentAmbassadors and MSU-BillingsStudent Volunteers.

ScoScoScoScoScott Stt Stt Stt Stt SttttteinbaceinbaceinbaceinbaceinbacherherherherherI have

lived andworked at MSU-Billings for thepast four yearsand know howstudent organi-zations func-tion. I havebeen involved with Residence Life,Habitat for Humanity, and theOffice of Community Involvement. I currently hold a position in theStudent Union Building as a SUBManager. If I was to be elected as asenator I would do the best to myability to make sure that these fundsare directed back to students thatneed the support.

BrittanBrittanBrittanBrittanBrittany Laney Laney Laney Laney LaneOnce

again, I amrunning forSenator-at-Large. If I getelected, it willbe the third yearthat I haveserved ASMSU-B student government. On behalf ofthe students, I truly enjoy theopportunity to speak out, listen toconcerns, and make an impact onimportant issues. Not only am Idedicated to Senate but it’s apassion of mine. So vote for me,and I will continue to represent thecampus community to the best ofmy ability.

TTTTTytus Sytus Sytus Sytus Sytus StttttempnieempnieempnieempnieempniewiczwiczwiczwiczwiczI am

running to be arepresentative ofthe students. Iam visible tostudents andlisten to theirconcerns. I amactive in tennisand the international club, as well asSenate. I served you well this farand hope to continue the service.

SSSSStacie Dixtacie Dixtacie Dixtacie Dixtacie DixRunning

for a secondterm as Senator,I would like tocontinue to be avoice for thestudents. As anRA I interactwith students ona daily basis, it is important thattheir voice is heard. I am anengaged student on campus attend-ing a wide variety of events put onby different student organizations. Iwould like to continue to be a voicefor the students through ASMSU-B. Thank you!

LeLeLeLeLewis Rifwis Rifwis Rifwis Rifwis RifeeeeeTo con-

tinue to repre-sent the studentsof MontanaState University-Billings withfairness anddignity.

TifTifTifTifTiffani Ffani Ffani Ffani Ffani FehlmannehlmannehlmannehlmannehlmannI want to

represent andinform thestudents ofMSU-Billings. Iam currently aSenator-at-Largeand want tocontinue withthe work I have started. I work withthe Food Service Task Force,Parking Task Force, the FinancialBoard and a variety of other campuscommittees. I believe the studentsshould decide how funds are spentand what happens on their campus.

Sarah McIntyreSarah McIntyreSarah McIntyreSarah McIntyreSarah McIntyreI am

running to be aSenator-at-Largebecause I havereally enjoyedbeing on Senatethis year andwould like tocontinue thework I have been doing. It is such agreat opportunity to grow as anindividual and help bring campusissues to the attention of those whohave the power to change whatneeds to be changed.

Amanda MoralesAmanda MoralesAmanda MoralesAmanda MoralesAmanda MoralesI am

running forsenator becauseI want tobecome moreinvolved in mycollege and my

education, as well as the educationof my peers. As a 24 year old,married student I would like to lendsupport especially to non-traditionalstudents. I am also up for support-ing ethnic minority students in anyway possible, as I believe there cannever be enough diversity oncampus. I would generally supportany improvements to students’experience here at MSU-B.

KKKKKenneenneenneenneenneth Burth Burth Burth Burth BurkkkkkeeeeeI have

always believedin representingthe voicelessmajority. That’sright, these whoare too busy toread this, butstill care. Ican’t promise being able to changethe manner in which this universityapproaches its problems, but I canpromise that the concerns of myfellow students will at least beheard.

ZacZacZacZacZachhhhh Abels Abels Abels Abels AbelsAs a student athlete I feel that

it is important to get involved inmany areas in school. The schoolgives a lot to me and I feel that it isimportant to give back to the schoolby participating in importantstructured organizations likeASMSU-B.

Loren MorenoLoren MorenoLoren MorenoLoren MorenoLoren MorenoAs a

Senator for theschool I feel itwould be my jobto make surepeople from allwalks of lifewere heard. Every commentwould be passed on to those work-ing for a better MSU-Billings. Asan out-of-state student, I want tohelp others from out-of-state. Withmy experience of living in the dorms, I want to fix that ridiculousmeal plan. I want MSU-Billings tohave it’s best year now and be partof that.

ShelleShelleShelleShelleShelley Ty Ty Ty Ty TanskanskanskanskanskanenanenanenanenanenThe things

that I have tooffer the studentpopulation isexperience, awillingness tolisten, andempathy of whatis best for thewhole campus. During my threeyear term I have served on all threeof ASMSU-B standing committees. So I have the experience of howSenate works. This campus is verycommunity oriented that is why Ilike to serve another term as yourstudent representative. Please votefor me!

ChristaChristaChristaChristaChrista Jensen Jensen Jensen Jensen JensenI am running for Senator-at-

Large because I would like tobecome more involved in studentlife more than I currently am. Iwant to meet more people because Iam a people person and living athome it is hard to be as involved as

I desire. I think that I am a goodcandidate because I absolutely lovepeople and I also love communicat-ing with others and I am a verygood problem solver!

Brian ‘Gus’ RBrian ‘Gus’ RBrian ‘Gus’ RBrian ‘Gus’ RBrian ‘Gus’ RedfedfedfedfedfernernernernernI have

lived on campusfor three years,been a RA in theresidence hallsfor two of them,and have goodknowledge ofour campus andthe organizations within our studentbody. I will do my best to representthe students on this campus to thebest of my ability. My goals of asenator would be to get the studentsinvolved with our campus and tomake sure that organizations andstudents have the proper fundingavailable.

Janii PJanii PJanii PJanii PJanii PederederederederedersensensensensenAs a

senator-at-large,I would want thestudents’ voicesheard. Senate isa great way tobe involved withMSU-Billings. It is also a greatway to keep other students in theloop. I am opinionated and friendly,and I think I would be a huge assetto ASMSU-B. As a current Senator,I believe I have the experience toserve the students as they should be.

COCOCOCOCOT CandidatT CandidatT CandidatT CandidatT Candidateseseseses

ChelseChelseChelseChelseChelsey McCollumy McCollumy McCollumy McCollumy McCollumI have

served as COTSenator for theFall 2005session andwould like torepresent thestudents of theCollege ofTechnology again. I live on the maincampus and attend class at the COT,therefore representation betweendual campuses comes easily. Myprevious experience and establishedrelations with faculty and adminis-tration will allow me to perform theduties of the COT senator well.

Serena AnderSerena AnderSerena AnderSerena AnderSerena AndersonsonsonsonsonI am

excited to be apart of MontanaState Universitygovernment. Ibelieve I canbenefit thecommittee withnew ideas and alaunch of energy. Realizing thecollege world can be very over-whelming, I think implementingmotivational speakers to boost themorale for students. Another idea isto gather students and create asupport group because when going tonew college, students have left theirfriends and family, and this would bebeneficial. Thank you for consider-ing me.

PresidentialPresidentialPresidentialPresidentialPresidentialCandidatCandidatCandidatCandidatCandidateseseseses

KKKKKeeeeevin Majevin Majevin Majevin Majevin MajewskiwskiwskiwskiwskiMajor: Psychology

I founded and presided overCircle K International, a volunteerorganization. I proudly serve asBuzz, the Yellowjacket mascot, andactively served as Student Senatorfor two years. During my twoyears in Senate, I served on PublicRelations/Student Services Com-mittee, and Financial Board. Onegoal for this year is to increasecommunication throughout campus,state entities, and increase studentrepresentation on the state level. My school pride and well-roundedexperience makes me the leadingcandidate for President.

Matt HarrisMatt HarrisMatt HarrisMatt HarrisMatt HarrisMajor: BiologyMinor: Business Administration

I am running for the positionof ASMSU-B President because Iwould like to make a difference. After serving you with pride as aSenator I am eager to take myselfto the next level. I will do what-ever it takes to provide you withthe means to achieve academicexcellence. I plan to be an acces-sible resource to all students andwork hard for all of you. Thankyou for your time, and I wouldgreatly appreciate your vote.

Vice PresidentialVice PresidentialVice PresidentialVice PresidentialVice PresidentialCandidatCandidatCandidatCandidatCandidateseseseses

Dan HansenDan HansenDan HansenDan HansenDan HansenMajor: Math Education

As an incumbent, I have theexperience and the clout that areessential for a Vice President. Over the last year I have broughtprofessionalism, equality, andrespect to our organization as thechair of the student senate. Fur-thermore, I want to ensure thatstudent issues survive the turn-over. I can and will provide astable platform for the executiveand legislative branches to operateon. I promise no less than to buildon these foundations.

AndreAndreAndreAndreAndrew Zoellerw Zoellerw Zoellerw Zoellerw ZoellerMajor: AccountingMinor: Finance

I want to be the next ASMSU-B Vice President in order to betterserve the students. My experiencesas a Senator, a Supreme CourtJustice, and an active student havegiven me the tools necessary toserve our student body. I plan tokeep Senate organized as well ashold Senators accountable for theirduties. Matt Harris and I will servewith integrity and represent thestudents with pride. I truly appre-ciate your time, and would greatlyappreciate your vote.

Kevin Majewski

Dan Hansen

Matt Harris

Andrew ZoellerAll photos courtesy of candidates

Lisa Kemmerer, Ph. D., of the En-glish and Philosophy Department, alongwith eight other women, will be bringingthe second annual “Stirring the Pot” fo-rum to the MSU-Billings campus thismonth. The event will be Thursday,March 23 at 7 p.m. in the Lewis and Clarkroom of the SUB.

Kemmerer, who has achieved analmost cult-like following on campus,was the mastermind behind last year’sforum, “Voices of Change.” It was pre-sented as an assignment for herEcofeminism philosophy class. In orderto be eligible for an “A” in the class, stu-dents were required to participate in someaspect of the forum.

This year’s forum, “Ecofeminism:Women, Nature, Justice,” is sponsored bythe Department of English and Philoso-phy in alliance with United CampusMinistries (UCM). Kemmerer said thisevent is part of Women’s HistoryMonth. She said that although this isnot a class-sponsored debate, four stu-dents from her Ecofeminism class lastsemester will be participating.

Students Amelia McDanel and SaraSchantz will introduce the speakers andthe topic of Ecofeminism.The forum is designed tochallenge people to “rethinkgender relations, as well asrelations with people of dif-ferent abilities, races, andages, and our relations withnature and other animals.”

The speakers will cover a range oftopics all centered on environmental/na-ture issues, within the social context ofhierarchy and dominance. Rev. KimWoeste of UCM, will cover scripture; Dr.Joy Honea, of the Dept. of History, Na-tive American Studies, Political Scienceand Sociology, will give remarks onwomen in families; Director of Interna-tional Studies Director Analicia Piancawill speak about ableism (discriminationbased on one’s abilities or disabilities) andracism; Thora Dexter will lecture on age-ism and Kemmerer of the Dept. of En-glish and Philosophy will talk about na-

ture and animals. Each of the speakerswill talk for about five minutes.

Following the panel’s remarks, twomore students, Bethany Dopp and Mor-gan Hanley, will present the book “ThePornography of Meat,” by Carol Adams.Dopp and Hanley will be applying theissue of dominance and hierarchy throughthe book.

“Ecofeminism: Women, Nature,Justice” is designed to provide opportu-nities for expanding our understanding ofthe world we live in and how we live inour world.”

After the presentation of the book,the forum will be opened up for discus-sion between the audience and the panel.Last year about 80 people attended.Kemmerer expects a similar reception thisyear. Refreshments will be provided.

ManManManManMany Cooks Don’t Alwy Cooks Don’t Alwy Cooks Don’t Alwy Cooks Don’t Alwy Cooks Don’t Alwaaaaays Spoilys Spoilys Spoilys Spoilys Spoilthe Brthe Brthe Brthe Brthe Broooooth: Sth: Sth: Sth: Sth: Stirring the Ptirring the Ptirring the Ptirring the Ptirring the Pooooottttt

...And in Lincoln and...And in Lincoln and...And in Lincoln and...And in Lincoln and...And in Lincoln andDouglas FDouglas FDouglas FDouglas FDouglas Fashion...ashion...ashion...ashion...ashion...

Graphic courtesy of Dr. LisaKemmerer

Kemmerer’s Ecofeminismphilosophy class sponsered a forum.

MSU-B is offering students anopportunity to see a truly classic play.The Communications and TheaterDepartment in association withASMSU-B Drama Committee areproducing “The Glass Menagerie” byTennessee Williams. This play is oneof the standards to which all otherdrama is compared. The setting of theplay is the late 30s during America’sslow crawl out of the Great Depres-sion, but before World War II. Thecity is St. Louis and the four charactersare Amanda, the mother, Laura, thedaughter, Tom, the son, and Jim who isa possibility for Laura romantically.The characters are written to representa dream of reality, or the failure realitybrings to dreams.

Amanda is played by MarthaCarlson who is a veteran of theater inBillings. Tom is played by SamHerbert, a newcomer to the stage.Laura is played by Jessica Kohn, andJim is portrayed by Josh Payne whoyou may remember from “TheTransparency of Val,” and “Beauty is aBeast.” These actors have been hard atwork in rehearsals and their charactersare already coalescing.

Randy Pugh is directing thisproject, and is working from a sense ofpersonal nostalgia. He has seenseveral productions of this play, andhas taught it in his Introduction toTheater classes. When asked why hechose “The Glass Menagerie” he saidthat he hoped the name recognitionwould draw a large audience. He alsowants to expose his audience to a trueclassic of American theater.

“We’ve been neglecting theclassics,” Pugh said.

He continued to explain that theproduction staff has and is planning tosend invitations to area high schoolswithin a 100-mile radius. Pugh plansto have a discussion session either

before or after the performances inorder to solidify the concepts in theaudience’s minds.

Pugh says that this play hascontinuing appeal. When questionedwhy he responded, “Tragic thingshappen to ordinary people. You can’tgo back and repair the past, and I likethat this play acts like a membrane inthat the characters can take theaudience from present to past and backto present.”

The performance dates are April12 through 15. Show-time is 7:30 p.m.in Petro Theater. The Student SenateFinance Committee has also securedtickets for all MSU-B students. MSU-B students get into all theater produc-tions without charge from this dateforth. Faculty, staff, and communitymembers still have to pay; sorry folks,but we have to pay for the lumber thesets are made out of somehow.

Another free show for students isrunning the week after “The GlassMenagerie.” In true theater familyaffair style, Alicia Pugh, Randy’s wife,is directing “The Vagina Monologues”by Eve Ensler. This play is a series ofsingle actress monologues dealing with

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gripping, and sometimes-uncomfortablesubject matter. Ensler spent a great dealof time interviewing women who werevictims of violence, from a womanworking with women in a homelessshelter in New York City to women inBosnia who had survived rape roomtortures.

“The Vagina Monologues” isdesigned to empower women who arein situations where they put up withviolence to get out of those situations.The play covers issues of abuse,secrecy of women about their bodies,misplaced shame, and inadequacy, justto name a few. It is the kind of subjectmatter that is important to say andhear.

The main focus is women’sissues, but guys don’t feel left out.This play is an insight into the psy-chology of women. If you have everwondered why your girlfriend getsmad at you for seemingly no reasonthe answer may reside in the produc-tion of this play.

Pugh is working with YWCASexual Assault Services, and Friday,April 21 the play will be held in PetroTheatre as a benefit performance withproceeds going to assist abused andsexually assaulted women. The otherperformances slated for April 19, 20,and 22 will be in room 620 on thesixth floor of the L.A. Building.Show-time is 7:30 p.m. and againstudents get in free.

“The Vagina Monologues”features 12 actresses ranging widely inage, ethnic background, and occupa-tion. Loren Moreno who appeared in“Beauty is a Beast,” “Marco PoloSings a Solo,” and “Tartuffe: BornAgain” is back on stage for this play.Iizawa Chihiro (Yoshimi), an exchangestudent from Japan, is also featured inthe monologues. Pugh has managed tocapture in her casting choices theessence of the play. When asked whyshe chose this play she said, “ I wasinterested in the message of empower-ing women this play promotes. Enslerspeaks for women who don’t want tospeak for themselves.”

Photo by Paul JangulaStudents are rehearsing for Williams’ “The Glass Menagerie.”

The “Good Will Hunting”guy, more familiarly known as ElliotSmith, was a prominent star of thepunk/folk genre at the turn of thecentury. Born Steven Paul Smith inNebraska, the singer called himselfElliot. He spent his teenage years inPortland living with his dad, and itwas during this time that Smithdiscovered the guitar. He joined thepunk band Heatmiser and simulta-neously pumped out several soloalbums (which are what awarded himthe most recogni-tion.) In 1997,he was contactedby “Good WillHunting” directorGus Van Sant towrite a track forthe soundtrack.That tune, “MissMisery,” wonSmith an Acad-emy Awardnomination andthe title of “the Good Will Hunting”guy in the music world. His musicembodied the spirit of Portland. Itwas mostly acoustic, with folk, jazz,punk and country influences andfeatured unrefined vocals.

His lyrics are what gave hismusic character. They were poeticand profound, venturing into all thatis meloncholy and exploring themesfamiliar to Elliot Smith’s life, particu-larly drugs and despair. In October of2003, his body was found in his LosAngeles home. His death was theresult of what many argue were self-inflicted stab wounds. He was 34.

It is no surprise that Smith’sdeath hit the music world pretty hard,especially in the indie-rock culture ofPortland. His influences stretchedacross zip codes and musical genres inthe laid back city, and it was because ofthis that the recent “To: Elliott, From:Portland” was released. This musicalcompilation is a tribute to the latemusician with some of Smith’s mostmemorable songs redone completely byartists from Portland.

The opening track,

“Clementine,” was covered by one ofthe most prominent bands of Portland,The Decemberists. It features acousticguitar with highlights of harmonica trueto the original. In fact, most of theartists chose to keep a tone that wassynonymous with Smith’s sound andwith the Portland vibe, including TheHelio Sequence (“Satellite”), Swords(“I Didn’t Understand”), and EricMathews (“Needle in the Hay”).Others tried to take the original lyricsand apply them to a totally differentsound, like the album’s version of“Happiness.” Here the Lifesavas tookthe Smith original and morphed it into a

rap-like track,which deservesan “A” for effort,but the outcomeis a bit disap-pointing. It justdoesn’t fit withthe rest of thealbum. The lasttrack, “HighTimes,” is anunreleased trackby Sean Croghan,

friend and former roommate of ElliotSmith. My favorite selections includethe before mentioned Decemberists andHelio Sequence tracks and also “TheBiggest Lie” by Dolorean and “Be-tween the Bars” by Amelia. Knock –

“No“No“No“No“Now I’m a crash creditw I’m a crash creditw I’m a crash creditw I’m a crash creditw I’m a crash creditcard registcard registcard registcard registcard registered tered tered tered tered to Smith.o Smith.o Smith.o Smith.o Smith.It’s noIt’s noIt’s noIt’s noIt’s not the name that yt the name that yt the name that yt the name that yt the name that yououououou

call me with.”call me with.”call me with.”call me with.”call me with.”Elliot Smith as retold by

Dolorean

PPPPPororororortland Sends Elliotland Sends Elliotland Sends Elliotland Sends Elliotland Sends Elliot Smith a Pt Smith a Pt Smith a Pt Smith a Pt Smith a Postcard of Aostcard of Aostcard of Aostcard of Aostcard of Admirationdmirationdmirationdmirationdmiration

Knock’s version of “Speed Trials” justplain sucked.

It is well-known that tributealbums are always hit or miss. I thinkthat “To: Elliot, From: Portland” hitsthe mark, with the exception of just afew outcasts. It portrays Portlandexaclty in a way that one would

expect, and it recreates Smith in a waythat is true, but not redundant. Itdefinitely has an indie/undergroundfeel, and although I would probablychoose Elliot Smith’s versions, thisalbum is an honorable attempt to bidfarewell to one of Portland’s greats.Elliot, you are missed.

Album artwork by Ryan Dobrowski

Photo courtesy ofwww.varandadoazur.blogger.com.br

Elliot Smith left a gaping hole inPortland’s music scene with his deathin 2003.

“Middlesex” starts itsstory in a small village inGreece and takes us on ajourney with one familythrough different countries,lives and times. The bookintroduces us to Calliope, asecond-generation Greek-American girl growing upwith her family and theirsecrets.

At times in the book,we are looking at the life ofCalliope and her family inDetroit and we are quicklytaken back in time to life inGreece with her grandparentswhere we start to learn moreand more about this family’ssecrets and what they leftback in Greece. This is allvery important in understand-ing the family and may be an

answer to all Calliope’sproblems. Calliope was raisedas a girl in a middle classfamily whose father isinfatuated with Americancars. Her life seems normalbut when she hits puberty, itbecomes very difficult forher. She starts to havefeelings for other girls andwhen other girls are develop-ing breasts, she starts devel-oping facial hair. Throughouther uncomfortable journey,you cannot help but feelsorry for her and wonderhow she will come out of itall.

After waxing, shavingand growing to almost six-feet tall, her family finallytakes her to a specialist whofinally says what the readeris predicting all along; she isa hermaphrodite. After theshock of not knowing what

she is anymore, Callioperuns away to find herself.

The book takes youthrough her journey oflearning how to walk, dressand act all over again in anew body. You can feel theawkwardness in Eugenides’writing, which is not some-thing you always get.

The book is fiction butyou read it thinking it’s realand when the book is doneyou can’t help but want moreand want to know how theirlives all end.

This book shows thetaboo of incest but doesn’tmake it dirty or too uncom-fortable.

I had never heard ofJeffrey Eugenides, thePulitzer Prize winning authorbefore, but I will certainly belooking for him in Barnes andNoble from here on out.

‘Middlese‘Middlese‘Middlese‘Middlese‘Middlesex’ is Fiction That Rx’ is Fiction That Rx’ is Fiction That Rx’ is Fiction That Rx’ is Fiction That Reads Likeads Likeads Likeads Likeads LikeeeeeNonfNonfNonfNonfNonfiction in a Good Wiction in a Good Wiction in a Good Wiction in a Good Wiction in a Good Waaaaayyyyy

Maybe you were thinking ofseeing the film “Ultraviolet”… maybeyou shouldn’t. Why? While the firstthird of the film may have visual merit(not found in the Computer Graphics),the film overall will make your organsbleed. You might not make it to thecredits.

The concept behind the filmrelies heavily on the willing suspen-sion of disbelief as the movie actuallypromotes disbelief. It seems that in thefuture there will be a struggle betweenregular humans and an undergroundelement of “vampires” (Hemophages

in the film). Before you get excited,understand that 1) these vampires arenever shown consuming blood of anykind, 2) they cannot fly, 3) hypnotizeanyone, 4) turn into mist, 5) createghouls or homunculi, or 6) evenintimidate children. As theHemophages are the underdogs of thefilm, we are forced against our will toside with them and somehow supporttheir never-explained “cause.” Luckilyfor the Hemophages, they have MillaJovovich to wear unnecessarily tightand combat-ineffective clothing toengage in anti-climactic fight scenes.And who would be worthy of fightingsuch a protagonist? An insecure,germophobic suit with the lamest nasal

apparatus in film history—you will know him as Daxus(Nick Chinlund). It is rare infilm for audiences to dislikethe antagonist and theprotagonist with equalintensity.

Any success in thefilm is limited to imagery.Kurt Wimmer, who broughtyou the wonderful film youshould have watched (“Equi-librium”), crafts visuallystimulating scenes at the outsetof the movie. The color useand composition of manyshots in the early portion ofthe film are remarkable, butthe CG and the soft-focus-Barbara-Walters-interviewstyle filter pollute any imagerythat might have been pleasing.It has been said that the bestpart of a good movie and theworst part of a bad movie isthe special effects. “Ultravio-let” hammers this point home

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with the force of Mjollnir.You would think that some-

one would have drawn the line at badCG and poor character development.Nope. The dialogue in the film mademyself and comrades question whetheror not the screenwriter was comfort-able with the English language. Thebad dialogue crushes any hope of good(or even mediocre) acting. Theinterchange of quips at the climax ofthe film elicited peals of raucouslaughter from the reviewer and hisfriends. Our laughter was amplifiedby the fact that everyone else in the

theater was silent, for they hadalready been reduced to semi-vegetative states by this multi-sensorylobotomy.

We, here at The Retort, arerequesting photos of anyone thatactually enjoyed the film, so that wemay avoid you wherever and when-ever possible.

(In case you were wondering,Mjollnir is Thor’s hammer)

(In case you were wonderingwho Thor is, he is the Norse god ofthunder and gave you “Thursday,”formerly Thor’s Day)

Movie poster courtesy of art.com

When going out with yourfriends or going to class, there is

BabBabBabBabBabyyyyy, I go, I go, I go, I go, I got Yt Yt Yt Yt Your Number!our Number!our Number!our Number!our Number!usually someone that catches youreye, but what is that is catching youreye? For some it’s a smile and othersit’s a magnetic personality but what’sthe first thing we notice. For me, it’s

their shoes. I think you can tell a lotabout a person by their shoes; dressshoes, they must care about what theylook like and hopefully have a job,gym shoes, maybe they are athletic

and care about their health. Whatever it is there is always something.Let’s see what some MSU-Billingsstudents notice first about theiropposite sex.

“Seriously? Hair; the cut, styleor color. I like when someone doessomething different; I like a clean cut.”

Tracy Jo SchweigertMajor: Public Relations/ PoliticalScienceMinor: PhilosophyJuniorMinnesota

“Depends on what way myheads pointing. I guess whether or notshe’s wearing a wedding ring.”

Rick ParkinsonMajor: CommunicationSophomoreVillas, New Jersey

“Smile. Big smile and straightteeth.”

Kelli MorseMajor: Public RelationsJuniorBillings

“Face. It’s the first thing youlook at, I guess.”

Brett WeeseMajor: CommunicationSophomoreWilke, Saskatchewan Canada

Comedian Dan Ahdoot visitedMSU-Billings on February 21. Manypeople know him as a finalist on seasontwo of Last Comic Standing. For an hourand a half he got the audience to laughat his funny and sometimes obscenejokes.

Ahdoot graduated from JohnHopkins University with honors as a pre-med student. He quickly decided that hewanted become a comedian and movedto New York City to pursue his dreams.He has performed at all of the comedyclubs in Manhattan, and is a foundingmember of an improv troupe. He wonfirst prize at the Philadelphia ComedyCompetition in 2003, has been featuredon ABC’s 20/20, been a guest speakeron 98.7 KISS FM Morning ComedySpecial, and has written freelance forComedy Central’s Crank Yankers.Ahdoot has opened for Lewis Black,Dave Chappelle and Jay Mohr.

He opened his act Tuesday nightwith the statement that he is Iranian, but

since Sept. 11, he claims to be PuertoRican. He then joked about how Mon-tanans seem immune to the cold, sinceseveral people in the audience werewearing shorts and sandals in the 20 de-gree weather. His jokes encompassed hisfamily life, telling stories of his crazyfamily and his childhood. His dad usedApril Fool’s Day as more of a day ofconfession instead of jokes. One year,his dad’s joke basically went like this“Son, remember that year that you camehome from camp and your hamsterswere dead? Well, I killed them . . . no,just joking, I forgot to feed them. Ha.Ha.”

Ahdoot is not only Iranian, butJewish as well. He said that people, uponlearning that he is Iranian, ask about thenuclear bombs being manufactured inIran. He calmly jokes that the terroristsdo not send out emails to all the Irani-ans, revealing their secret intentions.One day after an act, a man came up tohim and said that Ahdoot looked moreJewish than Iranian. “What, does thatmean that the size of my nose outweighsmy need to make a nuclear bomb?” hereplied.

Then he started pok-ing fun at real-world prob-lems. He joked that peoplewho were in the hurri-canes did not leave soonerbecause the names are notscary enough. If a hurri-cane was named Hitler,people would be hittingthe road as soon as theyheard about it.

He said that it isgood that America acceptsrefugees, but that Americais not utilizing them to thebest of its ability. If the

AhdooAhdooAhdooAhdooAhdoot Wt Wt Wt Wt Was a Hooas a Hooas a Hooas a Hooas a Hoot at MSU-Bt at MSU-Bt at MSU-Bt at MSU-Bt at MSU-Bperson can swim from Cuba to Florida,then the Olympic swim team should re-cruit him/her. The USA would not losea race ever again.

He ended his stand-up perfor-mance by doing a couple of prank calls.

He called one woman’s mom and saidthat her daughter had been caught un-derage drinking. After he got the momsufficiently upset, he said, “There’s somegood news, though, I just saved a ton ofmoney on my car insurance,” and hungup.

Photo courtesy of www.danahdoot.comAhdoot graced MSU-B with a recent appearance.

Thi s story was originally printed inthe March 15, 2005 issue of TheRetort.

Believe it or not, St. Patrick’sDay actually has a meaning and areason, besides getting drunk andwearing green. The original St.Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland,was born in Wales about AD 385 andwas given the name Maewyn. Heconsidered himself a pagan until hewas sold into slavery at 16 years oldby a group of marauders who raidedhis village. That brought him a lotcloser to God. He escaped after sixyears and went to Gaul to study in amonastery. It was there that hebecame aware that his calling was toconvert pagans to Christianity. St.Patrick died on March 17 in AD 461.That’s why we celebrate “St. Patrick’sDay” on March 17. According to theofficial St. Patrick’s Day website, St.Patrick’s Day is a traditional day forspiritu8al renewal and offeringprayers for missionaries worldwide.

St. Patrick‘s Day was first celebratedin America in 1737 in Boston, Mass.

As with most things American,its meaning has changed greatly overthe years. Spiritual renewal? Whatpart of getting drunk and wearinggreen underwear is that? MostAmericans celebrate St. Patty’s Dayby wearing green to prevent beingpinched and by consuming largeamounts of green beer. Many citieshave St. Patrick’s Day parades andsome even go so far as dying theirrivers or streams green.

The Irish look at St. Patrick’sDay in a wholeother light. InDublin St.Patrick’s Day isnow known asthe St. Patrick’sDay Festival.They don’t use itto commemoratethe past but tolook to theirfuture. They arevery proud oftheir country,

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which just happens to be doing great.Natives U2 are considered one of thebest bands of all time, Riverdance,has been seen by 60 million peopleworldwide and their GNP (grossnational product) surpassed GreatBritain’s a few years ago. So it lookslike even in Ireland they’re notexactly “praying for missionariesworldwide” on St. Patrick’s Day.Whatever the original meaning of thisholiday was, it’s still fun to party Irishstyle, so don’t worry about the howsand whys, just be responsible, be safeand have fun on St. Patrick’s Day.

FFFFFast Fast Fast Fast Fast FactsactsactsactsactsSwSwSwSwSweeeeeeeeeet Surrendert Surrendert Surrendert Surrendert Surrender

To get the flavor of HarryPotter’s Bertie Bott’s Beansbooger flavor just right, JellyBelly, the makers of Jelly Beans,bought in a group of seven yearold boys to taste different types ofbooger flavored beans. In the end,all the boys picked the samebooger bean and that’s how theypicked the winner!

Don’t worry, acne sufferers, eatthat chocolate! It’s a commonmyth that chocolate can induce anacne flare up but after two univer-sities did studies on the sweet de-light they found no link to acneand dermatologists today find nolink to acne with ones diet.

Do you have the hiccups? Place apinch of sugar on the tongue to getrid of them. You can also take ateaspoon of sugar after eatingcurry to ease the burn in youmouth!

In the original Willy Wonka moviewith Gene Wilder, the OompaLoompas didn’t actually sing anyof the songs. Other singers werebrought in and their voices weredubbed in! If you watch closelyyou can see that some of their lip-syncing skills were a little off!

Although it is not known exactlyhow Hershey’s brand Kisses gotit’s name, but it’s thought to havebeen because of the sound or mo-tion the chocolate made while be-ing deposited in the productionprocess!

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Photo courtesy of www.epspipeband.caButte boasts the largest Irish population per capita inMontana.

Age: 21Hometown: Forsyth, MontanaMajor: PsychologyMinor: SpanishDream job: Either a Clarice Starling-like serial killer hunter or maybe asuccessful and highly paid advertisingdesignerTop of celebrity make out list: It’salways Johnny Depp and I think I’ll addOrlando Bloom to the list (brunetteversion, of course!)Famous person you’d most like to kickthe crap out of: Anne Coulter or CondiRice, both are pretty slimy in my eyesRecurring nightmare: I don’tremember my dreams usually, but I don’tlike heights/feeling of falling, so beingforced to ride a roller coaster would bepretty nightmarish for me. Also the ideaof never getting a real job and having towork as a unappreciated food server forthe rest of my life. Scary!

Age: 20Hometown: Forsyth, MontanaMajor: MarketingMinor: SociologyDream job: I would love to beMarketing or Advertising Executive ata huge advertising agencyTop of celebrity make out list: We’llduke it out for Johnny Depp andOrlando Bloom and I’d add HeathLedger this year.Famous person you’d most like tokick the crap out of: The only famedperson I could ever dislike enough tobeat up would be good old G.W. Bush.Other than that I wouldn’t really wishharm to anyone else.Recurring nightmare: When I wasyounger I used to have the recurringdream that Jason Voorhees (Friday the13th) was living in my backyard in thetrees waiting. That’s it, he never reallyleft the trees or did anything.

Dana LivDana LivDana LivDana LivDana Livermontermontermontermontermont Nicole LivNicole LivNicole LivNicole LivNicole Livermontermontermontermontermont

About our photo: A night of drinking and cleavage bearing at Howl at the Moonof Universal City in Los Angeles.

The month of March isbusy for the art department.Three senior artists areexhibiting—both on and offcampus—simultaneously. Inaddition, Art Professor NeilJussila has pieces on display thismonth, as well.Sherri Cornett “Chrysalis”

Sherri Cornett’s seniorshow “Chrysalis” is on displayat Toucan Gallery, located at2505 Montanan Ave. The lifesize mixed media pieces wereput up March 10 and willremain up until April 4. Cornettsaid her contract with the gallerywas the main factor contributingto her decision to exhibit offcampus. Due to the scale of herwork, Cornett also said theworks may not have fit in thestudent gallery.

The pieces are set atthe end of a winding path ofriver rock. Cornett used steel,copper, bronze, glass, wood andfabric to create her fantasyasylum.

“It is from images ofcocoons, caves, cradles—placesof protection in times ofpersonal growth,” said Cornett.

Toucan is open Mon.through Fri. from 9 a.m. to 6p.m. and on Sat. and Sun. from10 a.m. to 4 p.m.Brian Tippets “Visual Music”

On display in theSUB Galleria is Brian Tippet’s“Visual Music.” His show willbe up from March 13 to March24.

Tippets collection ofdigital photos and photocollages were made “with thehelp of the ‘new’ digital age.”

He said his work is all related tomusic, hence the name.

“I’m into music quite abit,” said Tippets. “[It’s] what itwould be putting a song onpaper.”

Tippets was trying tocapture “the essence of music”with his pieces. Playing with theconcept of music’s ability totake the listener on an emotionaljourney, Tippets wants hissenior exhibit to take the vieweron a similar journey. He said hisshow is “essentially a studyabout the connection betweenmusic and visual arts.”

In his artist statement,Tippets wrote: “…Thecompositions which you seehere [are] each meant torepresent its own song.”Jeanne Hutchinson “LaFemelle”

March is Women’sHistory Month, which makes ita fitting time for JeanneHutchinson’s exhibit, “LaFemelle,” French for ‘thefemale.’

In an email to TheRetort, Hutchinson wrote: “Mysenior show is about myexploration of current feminineissues while retaining aconnection with the past. Myjourney through color, glass,bronze, copper and steel hasinspired my work for the future.My work is very consciouslyabout women. I returned touniversity after raising mychildren, to pursue my lifelongpassion of art and to facilitatemy studio art degree.”

“La Femelle” openedMarch 13 and will remain ondisplay until March 24.Hutchinson’s work can be foundin the Student Gallery, located

on the first floor of the LAbuilding. A reception will beheld March 17 from 6 to 9 p.m.“The Line and The Color areDreaming—Illustrations byNeil Jussila”

Also exhibiting rightnow is Art Professor NeilJussila. Jussila has been aninstructor here since 1969. Theworks displayed in TheNorthcutt-Steele Gallery are thefruition of his 2004 sabbatical.Jussila’s work took on a new

dimension during his time awayfrom campus: he beganincorporating prose and poetryinto his artwork.

Jussila said, “I do whatI really love, which is toillustrate my work with prose.When I finish a painting ordrawing, I illustrate it withprose that, for me, makes thework far more interesting andacts as a bridge between theaudience and the work. I liketo work with themes of love,

Three SThree SThree SThree SThree Student Shotudent Shotudent Shotudent Shotudent Shows and a Fws and a Fws and a Fws and a Fws and a FacultyacultyacultyacultyacultyExhibit Going on NoExhibit Going on NoExhibit Going on NoExhibit Going on NoExhibit Going on Nowwwww

Photos courtesy of artistsTop left: Tippets conveys musicthrough art. Right: Hutchinsonexplores the female form. Bottom left:Cornett discovers personal growth in“Chrysalis.”

grace, life, death andmortality.”

Jussila’s exhibitincludes depictions oflandscapes, mothers andchildren, cartoons andillustrations for studies andbook covers. The display wentup on Feb. 24 and will be upuntil March 24.

*information aboutNeil Jussila was taken from aMSU-Billings news servicepress release*

I just wanted to clarify some-thing, and that something is thatdespite this past issue, reports of myuntimely demise are vastly overstated.That being said, these columns aregetting harder and harder to write. Ifigured this would be an easy week,

Scraping the Barrel: WScraping the Barrel: WScraping the Barrel: WScraping the Barrel: WScraping the Barrel: Writing on Friting on Friting on Friting on Friting on Fumesumesumesumesumesbeing our Vice President shot a seniorcitizen in the face. With a freakin’shotgun! But, alas, it was not to be.That would be like playing badmintonagainst a paraplegic. Just too easy.Deadline quickly approached, and I satat my computer loaded down withpirated music and downloadable porn,eating a Slim Jim just staring at theblinking cursor. Blink. Blink. Thiswasn’t getting any easier.

I abandoned my computer, andretreated to the living room to watchthe Olympics. Of course, all the goodOlympic sports had already concluded,leaving me with the four man bobsled,curling, and the luge. It bothered methat people were actually going to getmedals for these events, even thoughbobsledding itself is glorified tobog-ganing, an activity that involves afrozen surface and a broom that isn’tabout moving snow, and an event thatconsists of some dumbass careeningdown an icy ramp on a brownie pan. Iwasted about an hour watching theTaiwanese or whoever, and peekedmy head back into the room which

housed my computer, just in case Ihad written something and notremembered it.

Blink. Blink.“Crap...” I said.I was really starting to panic.

Even at my very peak of journalisticcapabilities, my work was marginal atbest, especially when compared tothat of a second grader writing abouthis sixth birthday party. I decided theonly way to truly do something wasjust to do it.

“Okay.” I thought to myself as Isettled in with a cold beverage readyto mount a written barrage of biblicalproportions. “Time to just kick it.Time to kick it with a tasty groove.YOU WANT SOME, MSU-BRETORT?! COME GET SOME!”

Blink. Blink.It was not, as I imagined, “On

like Donkey Kong.” Time passed, itwas now Sunday evening, and it wasrapidly coming down to the wire. Ineeded inspiration, and I needed itfast, but you try to find inspiration inBillings, Montana on a Sunday night.

I decided I would peruse the officialSchrage archives of past columnsstashed under my sink, which iswhere I would come to a revelation.

Take a look above, or perhapsto your left. Go ahead, it’s alright.Right where my name is. Mike“Wolfgang” Schrage. AlwaysWolfgang. Not that anything is wrongwith that moniker, but I remembered Ihad kept pitching new nicknames tomy editors to no avail. Call it a desireto reinvent myself, I offered suchpossibilities as “Electric Boogaloo,”“Dodegball Jesuit,” and “SexualMephisto” to name a few. Butsomehow they never stuck. I couldn’tsqueeze 500 words out of that,however. Hell, I barely got fifteen.Despite my past articles about‘racism,’ religious bigotry, addictions,bias, erectile dysfunction, date rapeand incarceration, I failed to gaininspiration and direction.

Blink. Blink.So, did you hear about our Vice

President shooting someone in theface with a shotgun...

I will confess that therewas a time in my life when mypolitical views were somewhatpolarized. I was (and perhapsstill am) a raging liberal. Atthe time my opinion was that ifyou were a Democrat you wereprobably right, and if you werea Republican you wereprobably wrong. Many years,and a whole lot of experienceslater, I find that view almostcomical. I have since re-nounced any one politicalaffiliation and have insteadsided with logic and rationality.I have become disgusted withpartisan politics because whatboth sides fail to realize is thatthey are fighting the wrongbattle. Do we really believethat if Republicans or Demo-crats were given exclusivecontrol of our government thatsomehow we would bepropelled into a golden age ofenlightenment and prosperity?

When did politics become abunch of old men posturingand mudslinging in order tokeep themselves or theircandidate in power? Whateverhappened to politicians servingthe public good? It’s sad reallybecause people align them-selves with a political party andblindly follow because theyonly think of things in black orwhite. I personally would votefor any candidate who said theywanted to improve our foreignrelations, or feed our poor, orGod forbid take religion out ofthe White House. Theirpolitical party is irrelevant solong as they are working toserve the people who electedthem, which is becomingincreasingly rare. I must alsoadmit that I do not vote.However before you get yourpolitical knickers in a knot, letme explain. It has been a longheld belief in this country thatvoting “changes” things. If westop and look at the behavior ofour elected officials though, we

find this to hardly be the case.Our lives and laws are gov-erned by back-room deals andunder the table bribes. Ourpoliticians don’t care how wevote after we get them intooffice, because they know thatthe average American doesn’tunderstand enough about ourpolitical system to question it,far less take action. It is for thisreason that I do not vote. I willnot condone a corrupt systemand support unscrupulouspoliticians simply because

In DefIn DefIn DefIn DefIn Defense of Rationalityense of Rationalityense of Rationalityense of Rationalityense of Rationalityvoting is the “American” thingto do. It has often been said “Ifyou don’t vote, don’t com-plain.” However, I wish thosepeople would understand thatthere are a large group of uswho are complaining that thereis no one to vote for. So Iwould like to give kudos tothat rare breed of citizen whouses rationality and logic toevaluate the worth and value ofpolitics and politicians, and notblind allegiance to a party.Thank you to all of you who

choose not to vote for all theright reasons. Finally I wouldlike to address both theDemocratic and Republicanparties alike. Shame on you!You have taken the trust of theAmerican people and pervertedand twisted it into nothingmore than a means to an end.The people of this countrydeserve better than that. Wedeserve a group of people whotruly care about what we wantand work to make our countrybetter, not just more profitable.

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I don’t know how manytimes it has been said, or whosaid it first, but all of us aredying. Straight up, no wayaround it... the sad paradoxicalopposed side to the dying coinis that not all of us are living.

Judge people based ontheir decisions, their willfulacts— I don’t dwell onpeople’s past mistakes, I judgea person based on the deci-sions that they make and thenmake again, because I thinkthat the decisions we makematter. It has nothing to dowith “who” you are or whereyou have been, who hasn’tseen some bad times (asprinkling of violence,homelessness and addiction)?It has everything to do withwhat you choose to do,whether you choose to livelife and how you experiencethe world. Life is just a chainof experiences. When it’s allsaid and done, it’s all youhave, it’s the only currencythat can justify a yesterday.

Your charge in lifeshould be to seek out themembers of your tribe. Theyare out there somewhere, nomatter how obscure; don’tsettle for the collective

mediocrity that you run intoon any given day. This is notto suggest that one cannotknow others outside their tribeor go between tribes, but thetribalization of modern societycan make up for all themissing pieces in one’s life.The missing father or mother,the sibling you alwayswanted, a childhood compa-triot that was never there…feel free to substitute themlater in life.

Try to seek out the rarefew who actually prosperfrom hearing the truth. Theyknow who they are, and if youhave any question of whetheror not you are one of the smallfew that I speak of, then by allmeans I am not talking aboutyou. The chosen few actuallyenjoy and revel in the coarseand unrefined input that Ioffer, straight from the soul. And, sadly, it’s no differenthere in Montana than any ofthe previous States that I havelived in: no one wants to hearthe truth. They say they do,and it’s not that they wantsomeone to lie to them, it’sjust that they don’t want allthe truth up front, they wantthe watered down version...and carrying all of thesebuckets of water is gettingold.

If someone wantsfriends that blindly agree with

them (a team of yes-men),then I am surely not fit tospend time with them or evencasual conversation, for Ichallenge those around me,especially those close to me,and try to be something moretomorrow than I was today(and yes, I piss off my closefriends all the time with thisbut it keeps them comingback). If surrounding oneselfwith people who condoneflaws and ignore yourpotential so that you can livecomfortably is what you want,that’s fine, it’s a way of lifethat works for a lot of peopleand you can find happinessthere. I prefer truth tohappiness and struggle tocomfort— it reminds me that Iam indeed alive, and believeme when I say that I haveearned these 26 years throughmistakes and regrets. Siddhartha Gautama said that“Existence is suffering,” it’swhat reminds us that we arenot dreaming or dead. Struggle is life.

So curl up in yourcomfort, neglect the ability toimprove, and shut out thesounds of criticism that maycome your way. We are all farfrom perfect (and we willnever get anywhere near), butthe fact that one can recognizethis and care puts us one notchabove them in my vision of

WWWWWe Are a Pre Are a Pre Are a Pre Are a Pre Are a Product That Can’t Be Soldoduct That Can’t Be Soldoduct That Can’t Be Soldoduct That Can’t Be Soldoduct That Can’t Be Sold

the world. No longer can weexist as who we are “supposedto be,” enough of the rein-forced everyday-acceptable, itneeds to be a question of “arewe enough of ourselves toeven exist...” Can I honestlylook in the mirror and smirkout of relief that I am what Itell myself I am and not justthe appearance or pencil-mugfull of ideas, idle on the desk.Constancy is also a must: itsaddens me, seeing those thatused to be but are no longer,like finding out that Batman isjust a comic book character.It’s not so much that theillusions are shattered, the

illusions were never trulythere— it’s finding out thatthose we see are mortal,capable of letting us down,and that they never reallywere.

Accomplishment is notfound in how much alcoholyou can consume in oneweekend, how many drugsyou have done over yourlifetime, how much moneyyou make or any othersocietally-reinforced constructof accomplishment. Want toimpress me?

Try living...Live your life, not

everybody gets to.

Photo by Olivia Koernig

The MSU-Billings men’s basket-ball team came within a few minutes ofclinching its first ever Heartland Confer-ence championship. But five late turn-overs and some opportunistic shooting by

JacJacJacJacJackkkkkeeeeet Men Unable tt Men Unable tt Men Unable tt Men Unable tt Men Unable to Climb Ovo Climb Ovo Climb Ovo Climb Ovo Climb OverererererHilltHilltHilltHilltHilltopperopperopperopperoppers in Confs in Confs in Confs in Confs in Conference Championshiperence Championshiperence Championshiperence Championshiperence Championship

St. Edward’s gave the Hilltoppers the 83-77 victory and the Heartland’s automaticberth in the NCAA tournament.

The Yellowjackets, who had earnedtheir place in the title game by defeatingOklahoma Panhandle 80-67 in the semi-final, led by seven at half time, 39-22, andby as many as 10 during the second half.

From 12:30 to play onwardhowever, St. Edward’s be-gan chipping away at MSU-B’s lead. The Hilltopperseventually took a one-pointlead with 2:01 to play. Forthe Jackets things wentdownhill from there as theyturned over the ball on theirnext five possessions, al-lowing St. Edward’s toscore the points which en-sured the victory.

Besides turnovers an-other problem for MSU-Bseemed to be lack of depthin the lineup. In addition to

already being down a player as forwardLucas Walker was unavailable due to aseason ending injury sustained against St.Mary’s on Feb. 18, early foul trouble lim-ited Walker’s replacement in the lineup.Jonathan Wiley to just 20 minutes of play-ing time (compared to 38 against OPSUin the semis) leaving the Jackets withouta key defensive specialist much of thegame.

In his post game remarks to the me-dia, Head Coach Craig Carse made fewexcuses instead giving credit to theHilltoppers for winning the game saying“Sixty days ago we set a goal to be in aposition to win the conference and we didthat. As to what happened tonight, thingsjust didn’t go our way. I’m very proud ofour guys; I thought they played very hardand very intelligently. Congratulations toSt. Edward’s. They did the things they

needed to do to win.”As to next year which will be

Carse’s 12th along the Yellowjackets side-lines, MSU-B will have some tough holesto fill as the Heartland Championshipmarked the last appearance in a Jacketuniform of three seniors: Moritz Wohlers,Buddy Windy Boy and Cameron Munoz.Wohlers who played just one year atMSU-B was a vital presence inside thepaint for the Jackets, while Munoz andWindy Boy were two of the best shoot-ers in school history. Munoz logged anNCAA Division II record 451 three point-ers during his career while Windy Boy’s301 baskets from behind the arc weregood enough for third all time in schoolhistory. “We will miss Buddy, Cameronand Moritz,” said Carse, “But I know wehave a lot of guys who can pick up wherethey left off.”

Photo by Matt LangmanWindy Boy releases a jump shot.

Photo by Matt LangmanJackets lose their chance to attend NCAA tourney.

T h e M S U - B i l l i n g sWomen’s basketball seasoncame to a surprise ending onMarch 1, as the fourth seededLady Aggies of Oklahoma Pan-handle upset the first seed LadyYellowjackets, 80-71, in aHeartland Conference semifinalgame at Alterowitz Gym.

Things seemed to be go-ing MSU-B’s way at halftime as

The spring sports season at MSU-Billings is off and running as theYellowjackets can be found in action onthe golf course, tennis court as well asthe baseball and softball diamonds.

Golf TGolf TGolf TGolf TGolf Teams teams teams teams teams to host RMCo host RMCo host RMCo host RMCo host RMCBoth the MSU-B men’s and

women’s golf teams have one tournamentunder their belts as they prepare for theironly home tournament of the season: theannual head to head Ryder Cup styleshowdown with Rocky, March 16-17 atthe Briarwood.

The Lady Jacket golfers competedin the Lady Rattler Classic hosted by St.Mary’s University in San Antonio Texas,Feb. 25-26. MSU-B struggled in its firstrounds of the new season, shooting teamscores of 370 and 374 in the 36 hole eventto finish in 18th place, more than 100 shotsbehind the winners, Western Washington.

The men’s squad also ran intotrouble out of the gate, playing in the St.

Edwards Invitational in Austin, TexasFeb. 27-28, Shooting a 54 hole score of1014 to finish in 13th place far behind thetournament champion Northeastern St.(Okla.).

TTTTTennis prennis prennis prennis prennis prooooovvvvves a tes a tes a tes a tes a tough racough racough racough racough rackkkkkeeeeetttttOn the tennis court success has so

far eluded MSU-B as both the men andwomen have only managed one victoryso far as both Jacket teams defeatedWhitworth College on Feb. 10. The LadyJackets have dropped four other meetsfalling to Lewis-Clark St (2), MSU-Bozeman and Eastern Washington whilethe men have lost to L-C (2) and MSU-Bozeman.

Following a spring break trip toDenver to face a slew of RMAC oppo-nents, MSU-B returns home for its onlyappearance in the Tennis Bubble all sea-son as the Mauraders of the Universityof Mary come to town Mar. 17-18.

SofSofSofSofSoftball taktball taktball taktball taktball takes twes twes twes twes two at CWUo at CWUo at CWUo at CWUo at CWUInInInInInvitationalvitationalvitationalvitationalvitational

Also continuing with early season

struggles is the Yellowjacket softball team(5-14) as they lost six of eight games atthe Central Washington InvitationalMarch 2-5. The two bright spots came asMSU-B defeated Western Oregon 3-1 andSt. Martin’s 4-2. Several of the othergames were close as MSU-B even put abit of a scare into nationally rankedHumboldt St. as the Lady Jackets wereahead 1-0 until the bottom of the sixthwhen the Lumberjacks posted 3 runs.HSU would eventually go on to win 3-2.

The Lady Yellowjackets will opentheir home schedule on Mar. 11 playinga double headed against Dickinson St. atCenex Field. MSU-B then goes on theroad for its next 16 including 12 Heart-land Conference games before returninghome for 12 straight games against HLCopponents to finish out the regular sea-son.

Baseball tBaseball tBaseball tBaseball tBaseball to open homeo open homeo open homeo open homeo open homescscscscschedule on Shedule on Shedule on Shedule on Shedule on St. Pt. Pt. Pt. Pt. Paddy’s Daaddy’s Daaddy’s Daaddy’s Daaddy’s Dayyyyy

The MSU-Billings baseball teamwill begin the home portion of its sched-ule by hosting Northwest Nazerene Uni-

versity on March 17-18 at Cobb Field.The games will mark the first time aYellowjacket baseball team has taken thefield in Billings since May of 1975. TheJackets will also host a media/fan day atBuffalo Wild Wings on March 16 from4-6 pm

MSU-B began the season with acouple of road trips, first dropping fourgames to NNU and then to Texas to takeon Heartland Conference opponentsagain being swept by St Mary’s beforemoving on to face St. Edwards and In-carnate Word.

After the two doubleheadersagainst NNU, The Jackets will completethe breif home stand by taking on Colo-rado Christian University in a double-header March 21; the games against theCougars at Cobb Field were scheduledonly after the two teams were snowedout of their games in Denver in Febru-ary. MSU-B will then go on the road foreight games before returning to Billingsfor their final 22 games during the monthof April.

MSU-B is Sprung (On Spring SporMSU-B is Sprung (On Spring SporMSU-B is Sprung (On Spring SporMSU-B is Sprung (On Spring SporMSU-B is Sprung (On Spring Sports That Is)ts That Is)ts That Is)ts That Is)ts That Is)

SurSurSurSurSurprise! Lady Jacprise! Lady Jacprise! Lady Jacprise! Lady Jacprise! Lady Jackkkkkeeeeets Upsets Upsets Upsets Upsets Upset in Heart in Heart in Heart in Heart in Heartland Platland Platland Platland Platland Playyyyyofofofofoffffff17 points from forwardMichelle Liber propelled theLady Jackets to a 41-31 lead.The second half was a differentstory as OPSU shut down theMSU-B offense holding them tojust 29 points on 34.3% shoot-ing while the Lady Aggies shot48.4% from the field and made14 free throws to score 51points after the break and pulloff the upset earning a berth inthe league championship.

“We did not play our

charteristic game half,” saidhead coach Kevin Woodin. “Tostart with our nine turnovers inthe first half cost us pointswhich meant we should havebeen up by more then 10 at thehalf. Compound that to ourshooting in the second halfwhere we went something likeone for 19 from three pointrange and it becomes very evi-dent that we were outplayed.Panhandle is a good team andtook full advantage of our mis-

takes by shooting phenom-enally in the second half.”

The loss, which costMSU-B any chance of anNCAA tournament bid, meansthe Lady Jackets end the seasonwith a 19-9 (9-3 HLC) recordand also marks the end of thecollegiate playing careers ofthree of MSU-B’s best. GuardLisa Jellum and forward TanyaPetersen both graduate in Maywhile guard Shannon Harveyhangs up her sneakers with a

year of eligibility left due to re-curring knee problems.

Despite the disappointingend to the season and the play-ers the team will lose, Woodinlooks forward to next year, histhird since leaving Billings WestHigh School to take over theLady Yellowjackets program.“We have a lot of good playerscoming back and I think we canget back to the playoffs andmaybe the NCAA tournament,”he said.

Photo by Matt LangmanThe Lady Jackets suffer a loss to the Lady Aggies at semifinals.

I have them; ormaybe they have me.Encompassing my waistand accompanying meeverywhere I go. Helpor hindrance, I amblessed with them; myhips. I was notborn this way ofcourse. As mostinfants, I wasthe lovable ballof flesh withpudgy cheeksand an endlessfascination withmy own hands.Through most of adoles-cence, I remained fairlypudgy, in a ruler sort ofway. Then pubertyarrived and things beganto shift, mainly down,but shift nonetheless. Ibegan to resemble anhourglass.

My hips really havetheir own personality;two forces in one being.My hips, they love toflirt, and many times,they make their deci-sions without firstconsulting me. They arenot judgmental andseem to have no biases.They love to taunt andtake no prisoners,continuing to tempteven after I have be-come aware of theiractions. I lost control ofthese creatures once Ibecame 17. I was in myjunior year of highschool. A male friend ofmine, clearly with noreservations, informedme they reside in theirown zip-code. Appar-ently, my hips enjoyedsuch a statement and setup permanent residencein their current state.

I realized their fullforce, in all their glory,once I graduated highschool. Now, pleaseunderstand that mysenior year and thefollowing summer werespent in midst a circle ofwrestlers. I had been the

trainer, so the statussimply continued be-yond the mat. I hadbecome the femaleessence in a world oftestosterone. I was “oneof the guys,” if you will.

I met their friends andtheir friends met myhips. After dating one ofthese men for a while, Idiscovered my hips (andwhat follows behind)were two of the topfactors that contributedto our dating. Maybe myhips could do all mybidding, with my ap-proval of course.

Not only do thesehips attract attention,both wanted and not,they have also taughtme how to dress. Manyadolescent females andyoung women turn toCosmo and Glamourmagazines as a primefashion consultant. Me,oh no, I turn to my hips.They are the primedecision maker when itcomes to my ownpersonal fashionchoices. There are twothings I am forbidden towear, according to mytwo best judges. Thefirst, summer slipdresses. Reason being,yes. My hips. Theyseem to be the areacontaining the largestwidth, and these dressesseem to accentuate justthat. I resemble some-what of a wine bottle,where the bulk of thevolume resides in thelower half.

The second itemthat my hips will neverallow are capri pants,

which in themselves, arequestionable as to theirfashion value. However,I remain fortunate topossess a rational part-nership between myhips and my mind; for

they see right throughthis fashion craze. Yousee, my hips have beenaccessorised with shortlegs. I am not a tallperson, so short legs arelogical. Yet, whenattempting to follow theskewed fashion trend ofcalf-length pants, Ibecame well aware oftheir influence. Caprisare to fall into the areaof the shin (between theknee and the ankle) ifthe wearer happens tobe the “average” five-foot, seven-inchwoman. I, myself,somewhat lack in theheight department, sothe hem tends to fallright above myankles. Attempting tosport such pantsleaves me lookinglike I tried to keepa pair of pants alittle two long, oras though thereis a beachadorned withclams, fresh forthe digging.

I realize nowthat I have pointedout more negativethan positive at-tributes of these hipsof mine. There is a listof tasks my hips help toachieve; the first beinglaundry. My laundrybasket never slips andmy clean clothes neverseem to find themselves

carelessly strewn about.Another thing thesehips are great for issaving room. If out atdinner, at a sportsevent, or some otherpublic gathering, I

make it morethan simple tosave a seat. Allthat is neces-sary is to sitslightly offcenter. Thisimpedes on theseat next to me,which the

person waiting to grabthis seat will inevitablyavoid, so as not to sittoo close to a stranger.Much like a car slightlyover the yellow line inthe parking lot, thususing two spaces in-stead of one. Thisleaves ample room forthe late company tohave a full seat uponarrival.

Complimentsfrom one

woman to others tend tobe sordid in intentionand origin, yet there isone which remains myfavorite; when anotherwoman bestows the titlecurvy. This could bearranged into manycategories, dependingon the woman receivingsuch a compleiment.However, I find it thebest in many situationswith the recipient walk-ing away possessing asmall light of confi-dence; nearly everytime. A woman’s bodyconsists of smooth andflowing lines thatneither end orbegin at any givenpoint. Therefore,when I am calledcurvy, what theyare really sayingis that I am awoman.

The HourglassThe HourglassThe HourglassThe HourglassThe Hourglassbbbbby Erica Geigeny Erica Geigeny Erica Geigeny Erica Geigeny Erica Geigen

Photo courtesy of nikewomen.com

I’m the guy that you’veseen around campus with theshirts that say things like“Gay Pimp” and “Don’t FuckWith This Fairy.” To say theleast reactions have beenmixed. Some people laughand ask me where they canget one. Others have been sobrazen as to call me a faggotto my face, and while I hateto disappoint, I rarely losesleep over such things. In thepast I have been beaten,degraded and humiliatedbecause of my sexual orienta-tion, so it’s made me prettytough and a few three letterF-words aren’t going to makeor break me. Still, it’s inter-esting to be one of only twopeople I know who areopenly gay on the MSUBcampus. I have a number ofother friends who are not outyet, but that’s another story.Maybe it’s due to Montana’srural setting and traditionallyconservative leanings, but itstill surprises me that thereare people who think thereare no gay people on campus.There are just so many ri-diculous stereotypes thatpeople readily accept as fact.It is with that in mind that Ifeel I must set the recordstraight (ironic, huh). Thefirst thing I here most oftenis that gay people think aboutsex all the time. To that all Ican say is DUH! I defy youshow me a college studentwho isn’t well versed in theart of sex, drugs, and rockand roll. Gay people are justlike anyone else, we havesexual desires and feelingsjust like anyone else, and justlike everyone else we don’tact on every single impulsethat flashes through our head,and just like everyone elsesex isn’t the ONLY thing wethink about. The next thing Ihear most often (usually fromstraight men) is “I don’t mindbeing around gay people solong as they don’t hit on meor try to touch me.” This onestill makes me laugh out loudwhen I hear it. How narcis-sistic can you be!? To thinkthat every gay man wants you

and that even if he did hewould be willing to commitfelony sexual assault just forthe chance to be with you isridiculous. Gay people arejust as susceptible to crushesas the next person, but theyare also rational humanbeings and are not suddenlygoing to be so overwhelmedwith desire that they throwyou down on the nearest flatsurface and try to have theirway with you. If in fact youare approached by a gayperson, keep in mind that justlike any other romanticencounter you can politelyrefuse and move on, andquite honestly take it as acompliment, it means some-one thinks you’re attractive.It does not mean that there issomething about you that“appears gay.” Moving on,the next issue I would like toaddress is the implied femi-ninity associated with gaymen. All I can say that is forsome people that is a validand integral part of who theyare, but there are those of ushomos, such as myself, thatdrink beer, scratch our ass inpublic and think Dolce andGabbana is some sort offancy ice cream. The pointbeing that being gay does notcome with a predeterminedset of personality traits or aproclivity for body glitter andrainbow flags. Finally, Iwould like to end with one ofthe number one gay fantasies(NO, IT’S NOT DIRTY!). Alot of gay people wish thatfor just one day all the gaypeople in the world could beblue. I don’t mean sad, Imean actual sky blue. Thisway people would see thatgay people are all aroundthem. There are gay family,friends, co-workers, clergy,soldiers and the list goes on.Maybe if people could seethat we really are normaleveryday people they wouldstop being afraid of it. As forme I will continue to live outand proud because I believethat being true to yourself isthe most important thing youcan do.

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bbbbby Sy Sy Sy Sy Sttttteeeeevvvvven Pitten Pitten Pitten Pitten Pittengerengerengerengerengerall the king’s horses and all the king’s menturned time over end for end

a Pollack painted sidewalk unpainting itself plaindark spots sprung up from concrete erasing human stain

becoming crimson pearls or bullets liquid hotwhich bound up from the pavement and into you are shot

they render you unwounded of nothing newly bornyour form becoming human which from the ground is torn

ignoring gravity you suck a scream from skyas if to answer Newton his notion you decry

a superman inept untrained in skills of flightyou swim a backward crawlstroke through fishes’ kryptonite

and forty stories later alighting on a ledgearriving safe and soundless you lean back from the edge

now, thanks to time rewound to whence sane thoughts distortedyour chance to think again is impossibly afforded

TTTTTwwwwwo Po Po Po Po Poems boems boems boems boems byyyyyJeremJeremJeremJeremJeremy Hunty Hunty Hunty Hunty Hunt

they slipped along, these daylight ghostsboth weightless, born of lighttwo forms cast down by Helioswho passers would unite

from west they shrank, at noon were gonethen stretched out to the eastone south, one north they traveled onthe space betwixt decreased

until a path worn wellat last their courses crossedthey both upon each other fellwithin the other lost

but being bound to passers bytheir joining did not lastwithout a way to say goodbyeeach from the other passed

and left no sign where they had beenno tracks, no leaves displacedno sound to echo soft thereinwhere fleeting forms embraced

RRRRReeeeewind twind twind twind twind toooooPrefPrefPrefPrefPreflightlightlightlightlightIntrIntrIntrIntrIntrospectionospectionospectionospectionospection

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1. Pulp Fiction2. A ClockworkOrange3. Reservior Dogs4. Space Balls5. The Exorcist

NicoleNicoleNicoleNicoleNicole’s Pic’s Pic’s Pic’s Pic’s Picksksksksks

VVVVVol. 1ol. 1ol. 1ol. 1ol. 14, Issue 20, July 14, Issue 20, July 14, Issue 20, July 14, Issue 20, July 14, Issue 20, July 1, 1966, 1966, 1966, 1966, 1966

Spring is sprung!

Top photo by Nate PettersonBottom photos by Matt Langman