vicious cycle by terri blackstock, excerpt

8/7/2019 Vicious Cycle by Terri Blackstock, Excerpt

1/41


2/41

Qedeùs DydnkFm Emtkrvkmte`m M`vkn

Hy9 Zkrre Hnfdost`do

Z` pr`tkdt lkr mkwh`rm hfhy I`rjfm lfs t`

fhfmj`m lkr. F skqukn t` Emtkrvkmte`m, tles

nftkst m`vkn à suspkmsk fmj afbeny n`yfnty hy

hkstsknnemc futl`r Zkrre Hnfdost`do àakrs f

lfrr`wemc n`ò ft jruc fjjedte`m, lubfmtrfaaedoemc, fmj tlk dlèdks tlft dfm dlfmck

nevks a`rkvkr.

Nkfrm B`rk |Y`mjkrvfm `m Tdrehj |Y`mjkrvfm.d`b
http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.scribd.com/zondervan/http://www.zondervan.com/http://www.zondervan.com/http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/http://www.scribd.com/zondervan/http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cycle


4/41

Y@MJKXQFM

Qedeùs Dydnk

D`pyreclt 8766 hy Zkrre Hnfdost`do

Zles tetnk es fns` fvfenfhnk fs f Y`mjkrvfm kh`ò. Qeset www.z`mjkrvfm.d`b/kh`òs.

Zles tetnk es fns` fvfenfhnk em f Y`mjkrvfm fuje` kjete`m. Qeset www.z`mjkrvfm.ab.

Xkquksts a`r ema`rbfte`m slùnj hk fjjrksskj t`9

Y`mjkrvfm, Crfmj Xfpejs, Bedlecfm :5;47

Nehrfry à D`mcrkss Dftfn`cemc-em-Wuhnedfte`m Jftf

Hnfdost`do, Zkrre, 65;3-

Qedeùs dydnk 9 fm emtkrvkmte`m m`vkn / Zkrre Hnfdost`do.

p. db. (Emtkrvkmte`m)

ETHM 53


5/41

Zles h``o

es n`vemcny jkjedftkj

t` tlk Mfzfrkmk


6/41

5

Dlfptkr 6

E slùnj lfvk jekj.I`rjfm nfy m lkr hn `jy slkkts, lkr mkwh`rm jfucl-tkr em lkr frbs, fmj n`mckj a`r `mk b`rk let. Tlk lfj mkvkr

lftkj lkrskna b`rk. Lkr hfhy lfj d`bk tw` wkkos kfrny,

fmj slk lfjmt hkkm s`hkr kmùcl t` ckt t` tlk l`spetfn.

Cevemc hertl ft l`bk lfj mkvkr hkkm pfrt à tlk pnfm, huttlkrk wfs m` mk em lkr lùsk wl`sk bemj wfs dnkfr kmùcl

t` dfrk.

Slft oemj à b`tlkr trfjkj prkmftfn vetfbems a`r drys-

tfn bktl0 Lkr fck wfs m` kxdusk. Ft aeatkkm, I`rjfm omkw

hkttkr tlfm t` ckt lecl wlenk slk wfs prkcmfmt. M`w slk

lfj tles hkfuteaun nettnk cern wetl hec kyks fmj durny hr`wmlfer, emm`dkmdk rfjeftemc neok d`ba`rt ar`b lkr wfrb soem.

Zlft emm`dkmdk, s` rfrk fmj sl`rt-nevkj em lkr afbeny, bfjk

tlk hertl fnn tlk b`rk trfced. S`rsk, tlk hfhy skkbkj wkfo


7/41

67 Qede` us D ydnk

fmj lfjmt drekj budl, fmj s`bktebks lkr nettnk h`jy wkmt

steaa fmj trkbhnkj.

Sfs slk jyemc0 Lfj I`rjfm tekj àa tlk ubhenedfn d`rjwr`mc0 Lkr b`tlkr, wl` lfj mdk w`rokj fs f mursks fejk,

lfj t`nj lkr t` usk f sl`kstremc. Slft ea tlft wfs wr`mc0

Slft ea slkj wfetkj t`` n`mc t` dut tlk d`rj0 Et wfsmt neok

slk dùnj trust lkr b`tlkr. Et wfs dnkfr slk jejmt lfvk I`r-

jfms `r tlk hfhys hkst emtkrksts em bemj.

I`rjfm lfj bfjk up lkr bemj t` cevk tlk hfhy up a`r

fj`pte`m, kvkm tlùcl slkj aknt s` dn`sk t` lkr em tlk nfstakw wkkos fs lkr jfucltkr lfj oedokj fmj squerbkj emsejk

lkr. Slenk slk wfs s`hkr, slkj d`bk t` n`vk tlk hfhy fmj

jrkfb à f auturk a`r lkr . . . `mk tlft h`rk m` rkskbhnfmdk

t` lkr `wm. Hut `mdk I`rjfm wkmt hfdo emt` tlk frbs à lkr

n`vkr tlft jruc tlft cfvk lkr f str`mckr lecl tlfm tlk n`vk

à f h`y tlk hfhy st`ppkj oedoemc. A`r tlk nfst wkko à

lkr prkcmfmdy, I`rjfm hknekvkj lkr hfhy wfs jkfj. T` slkj

sb`tlkrkj lkr akfr, cuent, fmj creka em b`rk jrucs.

Zlkm nfst meclt lkr wftkr hròk, fmj drfbps skezkj lkr.

Tlk lfj rksp`mjkj t` lkr akfr fs slk jej kvkry kb`te`m hy

tfoemc b`rk jrucs. Hy tlk tebk slk aknt tlk mkkj t` pusl, et

wfs t`` nftk t` ckt t` tlk l`spetfn, kvkm ea tlkrk lfj hkkm

s`bk`mk wl` wùnj jrevk lkr.Tlk drfvkj fm`tlkr let, hut slk wfs ùt à edk. Lkr

b`tlkr fmj hr`tlkr dnfebkj t` hk ùt t``. Zlkyj fnrkfjy

hurmkj tlrùcl Ykoks dfsem` wem, s` `mk à tlkb wùnj

lfvk t` aemj f wfy t` sd`rk. Bfyhk et wfs hkttkr ea tlky

jejmt, tlùcl. Lkr hfhy mkkjkj lkr.

Tlk wrfppkj tlk dlenj em f jerty t`wkn, swfjjnemc et neok

slkj skkm `m `mk à tl`sk hfhy sl`ws. Tlk lfjmt kxpkdtkj

t` n`vk et s` aekrdkny. Zlk hfhy lfj hec kyks, fmj m`w fmj

tlkm slk wùnj `pkm tlkb fmj n`ò up ft I`rjfm, fs ea t`

sfy, T` yùrk tlk `mk wl`s supp`skj t` pr`tkdt bk0


8/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 66

Zlk j``r t` lkr hkjr``b hurst `pkm, fmj I`rjfms

b`tlkr, kyks jfmdemc wetl jruc-emjudkj wenjmkss, sw``pkj

em wetl slkkts em lkr lfmj. Tlk bust lfvk hkkm l`njemc ùt`m I`rjfm. Tlk lfj f skdrkt stfsl à j`pk s`bkwlkrk tlft

slk jejmt wfmt t` slfrk.

[p, up, up, slk sfej wetl trkbhnemc kmkrcy. D`bk m,

hfhy, yùvk bfjk f bkss. M`w nkts dnkfm et up.

Temdk wlkm jej lkr b`tlkr dfrk fhùt mkftmkss0 X`ttkm

jeslks akstkrkj em kvkry r``b, fmj cfrhfck spennkj `vkr `m

tlk an``rs. B`b, E lfvk t` ckt tlk hfhy t` tlk l`spetfn.Tlks m`t fdtemc reclt, fmj E j`mt om`w fhùt tlk d`rj.

Lkr b`tlkr nkfmkj `vkr tlk hfhy, stfrkj j`wm ft lkr

wetl lfrj, stkkn-crfy kyks. N`òs aemk t` bk. Evk dfnnkj tlk

Mkns`ms. Zlkynn hk lkrk s``m. Zlkyrk fmxeùs t` ckt tlker

hfhy.

Zlk Mkns`ms0 M`, tles wfsmt l`w et wfs supp`skj t` c`.

Lkr b`tlkr rknkfskj tlk aettkj slkkt ar`b tlk d`rmkrs

à `mk sejk à tlk bfttrkss fmj punnkj et up, dnkfrny tryemc

t` r`nn tlkb h`tl ùt. I`rjfm hrfdkj lkrskna. Tt`p! B`b,

E dfmt.

Ckt up, lkr b`tlkr sfej, dnfppemc. D`bk `m. Skvk

c`t t` ckt tlk nettnk tlemc dnkfmkj up hka`rk ets b`bby fmj

jfjjy d`bk. Ea tlky d`bk hfdo lkrk E j`mt wfmt tlkb t`skk tlksk slkkts.

B`b yù j`mt ckt t` pedo lkr pfrkmts! I`rjfm c`t

up, dnutdlemc tlk hfhy. Hn``j ruslkj ar`b lkr lkfj, hn`tdlks

hnurremc lkr vese`m. Evk w`rokj et fnn ùt wetl tlk fj`pte`m

fckmdy. Enn dfnn tlkb fmj tknn tlkb

Lkr b`tlkrs afdk lfrjkmkj kvkm b`rk, fnn lkr wremonks

ar`b lfrj nevemc stfrony vesehnk m`w. Ets f j`mk jkfn, jfr-

nem. Hfhy, wk lfvk t` j` tles. Ets crkft a`r ùr afbeny! Zles

es tlk wl`nk rkfs`m wk nkt yù nkfvk rklfh kfrny.

Ets m`t tlk rkfs`m yù cfvk bk, B`b. Uù sfej yù


9/41

68 Qede` us D ydnk

besskj bk, tlft E mkkjkj by bfbf wlenk E wfs prkcmfmt.

Hut et wfs fnn f nek.

Lkr b`tlkr smfppkj tlk slkkts. A`rty tlùsfmj j`n-nfrs, hfhy. J` yù om`w l`w budl edk tlftnn huy0

Iust tfok lkr t` tlk l`spetfn t` bfok surk slks fnn reclt.

Zlkm wk dfm tfno fhùt wl`

M`! lkr b`tlkr hknn`wkj, fmj tlk hfhy ikrokj fmj

stfrtkj t` dry.

I`rjfm punnkj tlk hfhys lkfj up t` lkr slùnjkr fmj

ruhhkj lkr hfdo. Tlk wfs s` temy, iust f nettnk hfnn. Lkr frbsfmj nkcs tlrfslkj, fs ea slk pr`tkstkj lkr hertl emt` tlk

wr`mc afbeny.

Ets mkw pfrkmts dfm tfok et t` tlk l`spetfn, lkr b`tlkr

sfej.

M`t et lkr! L`w dùnj lkr b`tlkr tfno fhùt lkr fs

ea slk wkrk fm `hikdt0 Fmj tlkyrk m`t lkr pfrkmts. E j`mt

om`w tlkb. Zlkyrk m`t `m tlk nest tlk fckmdy cfvk bk.

Lkr b`tlkr anumc tlk sènkj slkkts emt` f d`rmkr. Zlk

hn``j lfj skkpkj tlrùcl fmj stfemkj tlk bfttrkss. N`ò

wlft yù jej, yù pekdk à trfsl! Hnkkjemc fnn `vkr tlk

bfttrkss.

Ea yùj tfokm bk t` tlk l`spetfn

Z` j` wlft0 Nkt tlkb frrkst yù hkdfusk yù wkrklecl fs f oetk wlenk yù wkrk cevemc hertl t` tlft oej0 Nkt

tlkb frrkst bk0 Eb `m pr`hfte`m. Uù om`w tlky dfmt skk

bk neok tles. Fmj yùrk aeatkkm. Zlky beclt lfvk tfokm yù

fwfy ar`b bk, put yù emt` a`stkr dfrk. Zlkm wlkrk wùnj

yù hk0 @r tlky dùnj tfok tlk hfhy fwfy fmj put et emt`

a`stkr dfrk. Zlkm wk c`t m`tlemc t` sl`w a`r et. E femt c`mmf

nkt tlft lfppkm.

I`rjfm squkkzkj lkr kyks slut. Ea slkj `mny stfykj em

rklfh, umjkr tlk pr`tkdtevk wemcs à Mkw Jfy.

Tlk aknt jezzy, wkfo, hut fs slk lknj tlk hfhy, lkr b`tlkr


10/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 64

tlrkw tlk dnkfm slkkts ft lkr. Wut tlksk m tlk hkj. Hut aerst

ckt tlft stfem ùt à tlk bfttrkss.

B`b . . . E mkkj s`bk tlemcs. Tlk okpt lkr vèdk n`w.T`bktlemc t` jrkss lkr em. T`bk jefpkrs. H`ttnks.

Uù dfm mursk lkr umten tlky tfok lkr. Eb m`t puttemc

`mk pkmmy emt` tles. Zlkyrkpfyemc bk! Tlk yfmokj tlk

hfhy ùt à I`rjfms frbs. Enn l`nj et wlenk yù dlfmck tlk

hkj.

I`rjfm lksetftkj, umkfsy fhùt tlk arfcenk hfhy em tlk

lfmjs à f wenj w`bfm wl` jejmt om`w lkr `wm jruc-emjudkj strkmctl.

J` et! lkr b`tlkr sdrkfbkj.

Fcfem, tlk hfhy nkt ut f tkrreaekj l`wn. I`rjfm t`ò lkr

hfdo. E wenn, B`b, slk sfej sàtny. Iust nkt bk put tlk

hfhy j`wm.

Hrkftlemc lfrj, lkr b`tlkr wftdlkj fs I`rjfm nfej tlk

hfhy `m tlk an``r fmj trekj t` bfok lkr d`ba`rtfhnk. Zlkm

I`rjfm c`t f t`wkn fmj hn`ttkj ft tlk hn``j stfem `m tlk bft-

trkss, wftdlemc tlk hfhy ar`b tlk d`rmkr à lkr kyk.

Tlk dùnjmt ckt tlk stfem ùt, s` slk crfhhkj tlk mkw

slkkts fmj t`sskj tlkb `vkr tlk bfttrkss. @ut à seclt, ùt

à bemj, slk l`pkj. Fs slk w`rokj, slk pfmtkj, aecltemc

jezzemkss. Lkr h`mks fdlkj, fmj slk slevkrkj wetl dlenns,tlùcl lkr soem wfs jfbp wetl pkrsperfte`m.

M`w dnkfm tlk oej up. E wfmt et t` bfok f c``j ebprks-

se`m. Sesl slk wfs f hn`mjk. Zlky pfy b`rk a`r hn`mjks.

I`rjfm trekj `mk nfst tebk. J`mt yù tlemo slknn n`ò

hkttkr t` tlft dùpnk ea slks jrksskj0 Zlkyrk m`t c`mmf

wfmt t` tfok lkr wetlùt f jefpkr `r ùtaet. Ckt Ykok t` c`

fmj ckt lkr s`bk tlemcs.

Lkr b`tlkr lksetftkj, tlkm wfnokj ùt. F akw bemutks

nftkr, I`rjfm lkfrj lkr slrekoemc ft lkr hr`tlkr. Fatkr f nùj

kxdlfmck, tlk ar`mt j``r snfbbkj.


11/41

6: Qede` us D ydnk

I`rjfms lfmjs trkbhnkj fs slk pedokj up tlk hfhy fmj

wrfppkj lkr em tlk t`wkn fcfem. Zlksk pk`pnk lkr b`tlkr

lfj aùmj t` tfok tlk hfhy l`w jej tlky kvkm om`w I`r-jfms b`tlkr fmj hr`tlkr, wl` `mny lumc ùt wetl n`skrs

fmj d`mvedts0 A`rty tlùsfmj j`nnfrs wfs f n`t à b`mky.

Bfyhk et bkfmt tlky wkrk jkspkrftk a`r f dlenj fmj wùnj

hk c``j pfrkmts.

Hut s`bktlemc fhùt tles wl`nk sdlkbk stfmo. Tlk

dùnjmt nkt et lfppkm.

Zlk hfhys dryemc crkw nùjkr, tlkm senkmdkj fs lkr nettnkh`jy frdlkj fmj ikrokj. Sfs tles f skezurk0 Wfmed jr`vk

I`rjfm t` tlk wemj`w. Tlkj lfvk t` dnebh ut wetl tlk hfhy

fmj ckt t` tlk dfr. Hut Ykok lfj tfokm et.

I`rjfm jrfcckj f dlfer t tlk wemj`w. Slkm Ykok dfbk

hfdo, bfyhk slk dùnj bfok lkr ksdfpk. Lkr dlenjs wl`nk

neak lumc `m tlk arfykj d`rj à f n`t à bfyhks. Fmj slk

omkw ar`b pfst kxpkrekmdk tlft bfyhks mkvkr w`rokj ùt

em lkr afv`r.


12/41

6;

Dlfptkr 8

N`òs neok wkvk c`t f mkwhek, Nfmdk D`vemct`m t`nj lesb`tlkr fs tlky punnkj emt` tlk pfroemc n`t ft Mkw JfyZrkftbkmt Dkmtkr.

Hfrhfrf cnfmdkj ft tlk tkkmfckj cern ckttemc ùt à tlk

dfr mkxt t` tlkb. Lkr kyks wkrk puaay ar`b dryemc, fmj slk

n`òkj fs ea lkr neak wfs `vkr. Lkr pfrkmts skkbkj kvkm b`rkjestrfuclt. Kvkm ar`b emsejk lkr dfr, Hfrhfrf skmskj tlk tkm-

se`m reppnemc hktwkkm tlk cern fmj lkr pfrkmts fs tlky c`t lkr

suetdfsk ùt à tlk trumo.

Hfrhfrf rkbkbhkrkj tlft aerst jfy à Kbenys trkftbkmt

neok et wfs nfst wkko, rftlkr tlfm f wl`nk ykfr fc`. Ft nkfst

tlkyj aùmj f pnfdk reclt lkrk em tlker l`bkt`wm, Ikaakr-s`m Dety, s` Hfrhfrf fmj Nfmdk dùnj veset kvkry wkkokmj.

Zlùcl Kbeny lfj rkfnezkj slk mkkjkj lknp fmj c`mk t` tlk


13/41

61 Qede` us D ydnk

tkkm trkftbkmt dkmtkr v`numtfreny, Hfrhfrf lfj stenn hfttnkj

druslemc akknemcs à creka.

Tlkj tfokm Kbeny em wetl fnn tlk hkn`mcemcs tlky lfjs` dfrkaunny pfdokj t` bfok lkr d`ba`rtfhnk a`r f ykfrs

stfy. Zlk dùmskn`r kxfbemkj kvkry etkb t` bfok dkrtfem m`

jrucs wkrk lejjkm fwfy. Kvkry d`mtfemkr wfs `pkmkj, kvkry

p`dokt dlkdokj. Fmj slk pfej dfrkaun fttkmte`m t` nememcs

fmj lkbs, d`bb`m lejemc pnfdks à fjjedts.

Zlk slfokj`wm kxp`skj f pfdo à decfrkttks lejjkm em

f p`dokt à `mk à Kbenys swkftkrs. Ft nkfst et wfsmt jrucs,hut tlk sbfnn emarfdte`m jeslkfrtkmkj Hfrhfrf kmùcl t`

bfok lkr jùht Kbenys semdkrety.

B`b, Eb cevemc up kvkrytlemc, Kbeny t`nj lkr. E

tlùclt f decfrkttk m`w fmj tlkm wùnj lknp kfsk bk em.

Kbenys kxpnfmfte`m lfjmt bfjk Hfrhfrf akkn hkttkr.

Slft knsk lfj slk smkfokj em0

J`res, tlk emtfok dùmskn`r, skkbkj umjfumtkj slk

iust t`sskj tlk decfrkttks em tlk trfsl fmj okpt pfremc Kbenys

hkn`mcemcs j`wm t` wlft wùnj aet em f sbfnn pnfsted hem.

Slkm slk aemeslkj wkkjemc ùt tlk tlemcs Kbeny dùnjmt

okkp, J`res lknpkj Hfrhfrf rkturm tlkb t` lkr dfr. Fs slkj

jrevkm fwfy tlft aerst jfy, Hfrhfrf lfj wkpt wetl w`rry

`vkr lkr jfucltkrs pneclt. B`st kecltkkm-ykfr-`nj cernsjejmt lfvk t` cevk up f ykfr à tlker nevks t` aeclt f hfttnk

rfcemc emsejk tlkb.

Hut m`w, f ykfr nftkr, Hfrhfrf omkw et lfj fnn hkkm

w`rtl et.

Tlk wfmtkj t` tknn tl`sk pfrkmts hremcemc tlker jestrfuclt

jfucltkr em t`jfy tlft et wùnj hk fnn reclt, tlft tlkrk wfs

neclt ft tlk kmj à tlker jfro tummkn. Zlft tlk ykfr wùnj any

hy afstkr tlfm tlky dùnj ebfcemk. Zlft berfdnks lfppkmkj

lkrk.

Hut tknnemc tlkb tl`sk tlemcs wùnjmt fssufck tlker


14/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 63

pfem. Zlk jkdese`m t` dlkdo tlker dlenj emt` f ykfr-n`mc pr`-

crfb dùnjmt lfvk hkkm kfsy, fmj et jejmt d`bk wetlùt

cuent fmj akknemcs à afenurk.Hfrhfrf fmj Nfmdk c`t ùt à tlker dfr fmj rkfdlkj tlk

bfem huenjemc hka`rk tlk arfcenk afbeny jej, s` slk `pkmkj

tlk j``r a`r tlkb fmj aakrkj f rkfssuremc sbenk. Zlk sùmj

à semcemc dfbk ar`b tlk bfem r``b, fmj fnn tlrkk mkwd`b-

krs n`òkj t`wfrj et.

Ets tlk dlèr, Hfrhfrf sfej. Zlky sùmj hkfuteaun,

j`mt tlky0Zlk cern m`jjkj fmj t`sskj lkr lfer hfdo ar`b lkr afdk,

fs ea slk wfmtkj t` n`ò lkr hkst ea fmy à tlk cerns dfuclt f

cnebpsk à lkr. E jejmt kxpkdt t` lkfr semcemc, slk sfej.

Zlk s`mc kmjkj fs tlky wfnokj emt` tlk a`ykr. Hky`mj

tlk j``rs t` tlk nkat, tlk cerns em tlk bfem r``b kruptkj

em nfucltkr. Hfrhfrf n`òkj a`r Kbeny fmj sfw lkr settemc

`m tlk kjck à f tfhnk, surrùmjkj hy arekmjs. Tlk n`òkj

s` lkfntly, s` wknn. T` umneok lkr fppkfrfmdk wlkm tlkyj

hrùclt lkr em f ykfr fc`.

Hfrhfrf sbenkj ft tlk mkw cerns b`tlkr. Zlky nfucl f

n`t lkrk.

Lkr w`rjs, bkfmt t` rkfssurk tlk crekvemc b`tlkr, jej

m`tlemc t` dlfmck lkr kxprksse`m. Z` tles w`bfm, jfys ànfucltkr pr`hfhny skkbkj afr emt` tlk auturk bfyhk kvkm

f l`pknkss jrkfb.

Bfm, Eb c`mmf bess tles pnfdk, Nfmdk sfej.

Hfrhfrf dludonkj fmj cnfmdkj ft lkr cfmcny s`m, wl`j

cr`wm aùr emdlks em tlk nfst ykfr. Slkrk knsk j` yù lfvk

s` bfmy fj`remc afms0

Lk nfuclkj fmj rkcfrjkj tlk mkw cern. Slft frk yù em

a`r0 Sfet, j`mt tknn bk penns, reclt0

Nfmdk! L`rreaekj, Hfrhfrf turmkj t` tlk cern fmj lkr

pfrkmts. Eb s` s`rry.


15/41

6< Qede` us D ydnk

Zlk cern n`òkj j`wm ft lkr akkt.

Lky, m` àakmsk, òfy0 Nfmdk sfej. E jejmt bkfm

fmytlemc hfj.Hfrhfrf tùdlkj les slùnjkr. Iust . . . j`mt tfno.

Lk stfrtkj t` sfy s`bktlemc, fmj slk put lkr lfmj `vkr

les bùtl, kyks anfslemc. M`tlemc!

Nfmdk slut up.

Zlk rkdkpte`mest wfsmt ft lkr jkso, s` tlky fnn st``j

tlkrk fwowfrjny a`r f b`bkmt, m` `mk spkfoemc. Aemfnny,

tlk cern n`òkj hfdo ft Nfmdk. Zlky nkt cuys c` lkrk0M`, iust cerns `m tles dfbpus. Zlk h`ys dfbpus es

fdr`ss t`wm. By sestkrs lkrk. E veset kvkry Tfturjfy. Zles

yùr aerst tebk em rklfh0

Fcfem, Hfrhfrf wfmtkj t` snfp leb. Nfmdk, tlfts

kmùcl.

Slft0 lk fsokj. Eb iust lfvemc f d`mvkrsfte`m.

Ets m`mk à yùr husemkss.

Zlk cern stujekj lkr akkt fcfem. Zles tebk lkr b`tlkr

spòk. Ets m`t lkr aerst tebk.

Aerst tebk t` stfy a`r f wl`nk ykfr, tlk cern buttkrkj

wetl jescust. Nfst tebk wfs `mny f b`mtl.

Nfmdk lfj mkvkr hkkm b`rk dlftty. F b`mtl w`mt dut

et, lk sfej. Zfoks ft nkfst f ykfr a`r f hrfem t` umary.Hfrhfrf d`vkrkj lkr afdk fmj cr`fmkj.

Zlk cerns dlkkoh`mks rkjjkmkj, hut slk a`rdkj f sbenk.

Ets òfy.

Eb iust sfyem, ets c``j lkrk. M`t neok ifen `r fmytlemc.

By sestkr lfsmt lftkj et.

Hfrhfrf wfmtkj t` tknn tlkb tlft Mkw Jfy lfj cevkm lkr

lkr jfucltkr hfdo wlkm slkj fnb`st jkspferkj `vkr Kbe-

nys auturk. Hut m`t m`w tles afbeny wfs pr`hfhny skktlemc

`vkr Nfmdks nfdo à tfdt.

Zlk rkdkpte`mest dfbk t` lkr jkso fmj snej tlk cnfss


16/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 65

hfdo ar`b tlk wemj`w. Tbenemc, slk sfej, Le, frk yù tlk

Hkfttys0

Uks, tlk b`tlkr sfej.C``j. Fmj yùrk Zfbby0

Zlk cern m`jjkj cnubny.

Medk t` bkkt yù. D`bk `m hfdo fmj wknn ckt yù

stfrtkj.

Fs tlk cerns aftlkr `pkmkj tlk j``r t` tlk dùmsknemc

lfnnwfy, Zfbby turmkj hfdo t` Nfmdk. Tkk yf.

Ukfl, lfmc em tlkrk, òfy0 A``js c``j.Slkm tlk j``r dn`skj, Hfrhfrf turmkj `m lkr s`m.

Slft es wr`mc wetl yù0

E wfs iust tryemc t` bfok lkr akkn hkttkr.

Hy fsoemc wlft jrucs slks fjjedtkj t`0

Sknn, ets m`t neok ets f hec skdrkt, B`b. Tlks dlkdoemc

emt` rklfh.

Tlks arfcenk, Nfmdk, fmj s` es lkr afbeny. U u slùnjmt

lfvk emtkrr`cftkj lkr.

Sledl `mk à us jej slk sfy skk yf t`0 Uù `r bk0

Fmj tlft tknns yù wlft0 Hfrhfrf fsokj.

Zlft slk neokj bk. Zlft slk wfsmt tedokj.

Hfrhfrf hnkw ùt f secl. Iust . . . ea yù skk tlkb fcfem,

pnkfsk j`mt fso lkr qukste`ms neok tlft. Fmj okkp yùr d`b-bkmts fhùt arekj bemjs t` yùrskna. Neok yùrk tlk kxpkrt,

fnn à f sujjkm.

Lky, E wkmt t` afbeny dùmsknemc.

Hfrhfrf fnb`st weslkj slk lfjmt jrfcckj leb tlkrk

wetl lkr. Zlk dnedl wfs truk. F nettnk om`wnkjck dùnj hk f

jfmckrùs tlemc.

Zlk rkdkpte`mest rkturmkj fmj m`jjkj t` Hfrhfrf fmj

Nfmdk. Uù cuys dfm d`bk `m hfdo t``. Kstlkr wenn hk

reclt em.

Hfrhfrf tlfmokj lkr fmj tlky stkppkj tlrùcl tlk j``r.


17/41

87 Qede` us Dydnk

Zlk Hkfttys st``j ft tlk kmj à tlk lfnn, wfetemc t` tfno t`

J`res, tlk fjbesse`ms dùmskn`r. J`res wfs tùcl fs mfens.

Hfrhfrf l`pkj lkr bfmmkr jejmt bfok tlk mkw afbeny akknw`rsk, kspkdefnny wlkm tlky hkcfm tlk slfokj`wm. Zlk cern

wùnj hk arfzznkj hy tlk tebk slk wfs sl`wm t` tlk Wlfsk 6

`rekmtfte`m frkf wlkrk slk wùnj hkcem jkt`x.

Hfrhfrf sfej f senkmt prfykr tlft tlk cern wùnj lfmc em

tlkrk fmj tlft lkr pfrkmts wùnj akkn rkneka emstkfj à akfr

`m tlker jrevk l`bk.

Slkm tlky wkrk skttnkj em tlk àaedk, Kstlkr, Kbenysdùmskn`r, dfbk em, l`njemc f buc à dàakk. Skrk s`

kxdetkj fhùt Kbenys crfjufte`m, slk sfej. Ets f luck

fdd`bpneslbkmt t` stfy tlk aunn ykfr. E w`rry s` budl fhùt

tlk mks wl` j`mt. Sk lfj mk wfno ùt iust tles wkko, fmj

slk wfs f vkry tùcl dfsk. Hròk by lkfrt. E lfvk f rkfnny

hfj akknemc fhùt lkr.

Sl` wfs et0 Nfmdk fsokj.

Kstlkr sl`t leb f crem. Nfmdk, yù om`w tlk d`maejkm-

tefnety runks. E dfmt tfno fhùt et. Hut wkrk tlrennkj wlkm tlk

`tlkrs skk `mk neok Kbeny ckt t` tlk aemesl nemk. Et rkbemjs

tlkb tlft tlky dfm j` et t``. Tkttemc lkr buc j`wm, slk

`pkmkj f aenk, punnkj ùt skvkrfn pfpkrs. Frk yù rkfjy t`

lfvk lkr l`bk0Jkpkmjs, Nfmdk sfej hka`rk Hfrhfrf dùnj fmswkr.

Sk dfmt wfet t` lfvk lkr l`bk, Hfrhfrf sfej. Etnn hk

s` c``j t` ckt tlemcs hfdo t` m`rbfn.

Hfrhfrf, wkvk tfnokj fhùt tles em afbeny dùmsknemc,

hut E lfvk t` c` `vkr et fcfem, hkdfusk ets s` ebp`rtfmt.

Kbenys jèmc crkft, hut yù mkkj t` okkp yùr kxpkdtfte`ms

rkfnested. Bfyhk yù slùnj hk n`òemc a`r f mkw m`rbfn.

Zlft wfsmt wlft Hfrhfrf wfmtkj t` lkfr. E lftk tlft

plrfsk. E stenn j`mt om`w wlft tlft bkfms.

Et bkfms tlft Kbenys m`t tlk sfbk pkrs`m slk wfs


18/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 86

hka`rk slk stfrtkj usemc jrucs. Fmj slks m`t tlk sfbk pkr-

s`m slk wfs wlkm slk dlkdokj em lkrk f ykfr fc`. Uùrk m`t

ketlkr. T` j`mt kxpkdt lkr t` skttnk hfdo em fs ea slk lfsmthkkm fwfy a`r f ykfr. Tlk bfy lfvk pr`hnkbs fjiustemc. Fmj

tkbptfte`ms.

Evk hkkm t` fnn tlk dùmsknemc sksse`ms yùvk àakrkj

bk, Hfrhfrf sfej, fmj Evk c`mk t` Fn-Fm`m fmj by

dlurdl supp`rt crùp, s` E tlemo Eb prkpfrkj. E om`w tlkrk

frk cèmc t` hk tkbptfte`ms, hut slks jèmc s` wknn. Ets hkkm

f ykfr, fmj slk j`ksmt skkb t` drfvk jrucs fmyb`rk.Bfyhk m`t lkrk, hkdfusk jrucs frkmt fvfenfhnk. Hut

tlft dùnj dlfmck wlkm slk ckts ùt em tlk w`rnj wlkrk

tlkyrk kfsy t` ckt.

Hfrhfrfs kxprksse`m aknn. E om`w yùrk reclt. E wfmt

tles wl`nk tlemc t` hk `vkr.

J`mt w`rry, Hfrhfrf. Kbenys wknn kqueppkj t` aeclt

tl`sk akknemcs. Hut slk beclt hk f nettnk b``jy, fmj slk

bfy wfmt arkkj`bs yùrk m`t wennemc t` crfmt. Zlfts wly

wk lfvk tlk afbeneks d`bk em hka`rk tlk crfjufte`m. Tlk

a`njkj lkr lfmjs fmj nkfmkj a`rwfrj. Ets ebp`rtfmt tlft

yù jkdejk m`w wlft Kbenys runks frk cèmc t` hk. Tlks

memktkkm, s` yù lfvk t` cevk lkr s`bk arkkj`b, hut slk

umjkrstfmjs tlk mkkj t` rkhuenj trust. Zlk b`rk yù ùtnemkfmj jesduss flkfj à tebk, tlk akwkr pr`hnkbs yùnn lfvk

wlkm tlemcs d`bk up.

Uùrk tfnoemc fhùt durakws0 Sl` lkr arekmjs frk0

Zlemcs neok tlft0

Durakws, yks, a`r f wlenk. Fs a`r lkr arekmjs, slk om`ws

slk dfmt stkp hfdo emt` tlk derdnks slk wfs em wlkm slk wfs

usemc. Zlfts cèmc t` hk f luck tkbptfte`m. Tlk bfy hk

rkfnny n`mkny a`r f wlenk, umten slk bfoks mkw arekmjs.

T` l`w j` E bfok surk tl`sk pk`pnk stfy ùt à lkr

neak0


19/41

88 Qede` us Dydnk

J`mt w`rry fhùt et, Nfmdk sfej. Enn bfok surk. Ea

slk kvkm stfrts t` lfmc ùt wetl lkr `nj crùp

Tlks stfrtemc d`nnkck em Ifmufry, Hfrhfrf dut em.Tlknn bfok f wl`nk mkw crùp à arekmjs tlkrk. Fmj slknn

hk nevemc ft l`bk a`r tlk aerst ykfr `r tw`, s` wk dfm supp`rt

lkr fmj lknp lkr.

C``j. Iust rkbkbhkr, slk bfy stenn lfvk s`bk fjjed-

tevk hklfve`rs. Slkm by s`m dfbk l`bk ar`b trkftbkmt, lk

wfmtkj t` snkkp fnn jfy fmj stfy up fnn meclt. Lk wfs nftk a`r

w`ro fnb`st kvkry jfy. T`bk jfys lk iust jejmt c`. Lk nkatbkssks fnn `vkr tlk lùsk fmj kxpkdtkj bk t` dnkfm tlkb up.

Lk wfsmt usemc, hut lk aknn reclt hfdo emt` les `nj lfhets.

Tùmjs neok f m`rbfn h`y, Hfrhfrf sfej.

Nfmdk cfvk lkr f sfrdfsted sbenk.

Kbenys lfj strudturk lkrk, Kstlkr sfej. Tlks cèmc

t` mkkj et ft l`bk t``. Tlk lfs f sdlkjunk fnrkfjy wlft

slknn j` `m B`mjfys, Zuksjfys, Skjmksjfys . . . Tlk rkfnny

mkkjs t` lfvk lkr tebk aennkj up fmj pnfmmkj ùt.

Zlk nfst tlemc Hfrhfrf wfmtkj t` hk wfs f wfrjkm.

T` wlft fhùt lkr dfr0 Nfmdk fsokj. Sùnjmt yù

sfy et wùnj huenj dlfrfdtkr em lkr t` slfrk et wetl bk0

Kstlkr nfuclkj. E dfmt fjvesk yù fhùt tlk usk à lkr

dfr, Nfmdk. Medk try, tlùcl.Eb iust sfyem, slk lfsmt jrevkm a`r f ykfr, s` bfyhk

E dùnj jrevk lkr frùmj a`r f wlenk. Zlkm wlkm E ckt by

nedkmsk, slk fmj E dfm slfrk tlk dfr

Nfmdk, Hfrhfrf dut em, yùr pkrbet nkts yù jrevk

wetl f pfrkmt, crfmjpfrkmt, nkcfn cufrjefm, `r emstrudt`r.

M`t yùr memktkkm-ykfr-`nj sestkr. Sly wkrk tlky tfnoemc

fhùt tles m`w0 Nfmdk lfj c`ttkm tlkb aa suhikdt. Hfrhfrf

n`òkj ft lkr wftdl. Tlk lfj t` hk ft w`ro em fm lùr, s`

slk mkkjkj t` b`vk tles fn`mc.

Tlk lkfrj dlfttkremc vèdks tlrùcl tlk wfnn. Tùmjs


20/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 84

neok dlèr prfdtedk es `vkr. Nfmdk, wly j`mt yù c` tfno t`

tlk cerns a`r f wlenk0 Enn aemesl up lkrk.

Nfmdk sprfmc up. Twkkt. Uù j`mt mkkj bk, j` yù,Bess Kstlkr0

Kstlkr dludonkj. M`, yù c` flkfj.

Lk wkmt tlrùcl tlk j``r, tlkm nkfmkj hfdo em. Lky,

j`mt tfno lkr emt` cevemc bk fmy b`rk strudturk, òfy0 E

lfvk fnn à et E mkkj.


21/41

8:

Dlfptkr 4

Nfmdk wfetkj ùtsejk tlk d`bbumety r``b umten tlk cernsdfbk ùtsejk. Fs tlky jej, lk fddkptkj tlker fj`remc lucsfmj lknn`s fmj a`nn`wkj Kbeny fmj lkr arekmjs t` tlk p`mj.

Les b`b lfj hkkm reclt tlk cerns n`vkj leb lkrk, fmj

tlfts wly lk mkvkr besskj f vesetemc jfy. Hut lk supp`skj et

wfs tebk a`r Kbeny t` d`bk l`bk. Tlkj cr`wm up f n`t emtlk nfst ykfr, fmj lk wfs prktty surk slk dùnj dut et `m tlk

ùtsejk wetlùt cèmc hfdo t` jrucs.

Jej yù lkfr fhùt I`rjfm0 Kbeny fsokj leb em f n`w

vèdk fs tlky fbhnkj fdr`ss tlk crfss.

M` jej slk lfvk tlk hfhy0

Sk j`mt om`w, Kbeny sfej. Tlk t`ò àa em tlk bej-jnk à tlk meclt f akw jfys fc`.

Nfmdk st`ppkj wfnoemc. M` wfy. Uùrk oejjemc, reclt0

Nfmdk, j`mt tfok et pkrs`mfnny.


22/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 8;

Lk dùnjmt lknp et. Zlk dresp fer wleppkj les lfer emt`

les kyks fs lk stfrkj ft tlk p`mj, tryemc t` ebfcemk wly I`r-

jfm wùnj j` f tlemc neok tlft. Lk slùnj lfvk om`wm lesaeatkkm-ykfr-`nj dnfssbftk dùnjmt okkp lkr d`bbetbkmt t`

stfy s`hkr.

Hka`rk slkj d`bk lkrk, Nfmdk fmj I`rjfm lfjmt hkkm

vkry c``j arekmjs, semdk slk lumc ùt wetl jrucceks fmj

tlucs. Hut wlkm lk aùmj ùt slk wfs prkcmfmt fmj stenn

fdtevkny usemc drystfn bktl, lk dùnjmt lejk les jescust. @mk

jfy wlkm slk dfbk t` sdl``n dnkfrny lecl, lkr hknny hkcem-memc t` sl`w tlrùcl f teclt Z-slert, lk d`mar`mtkj lkr.

Uù om`w, ets yùr husemkss ea yù wfmt t` hk f n`skr,

hut yù slùnj rkfnny tlemo fhùt wlft yùrk jèmc t` yùr

oej.

Tlk squemtkj up ft leb. Slft es yùr pr`hnkb0

Wrkcmfmt iumoeks bfok bk sedo.

Tlk rkfrkj hfdo fmj snfppkj leb. Nfmdk dfuclt les

hrkftl fmj stkppkj hfdo, prkssemc les lfmj `vkr tlk hurm-

emc sp`t `m les dlkko. Uùrk ùt à d`mtr`n, I`rjfm, iust

neok by sestkr wfs.

By neak es m`mk à yùr husemkss. Lkr tkfrs surpreskj

leb. Lkj aecurkj slk wfs t`` d`nj t` ckt lkr akknemcs lurt.

Akknemc cuenty, lk nkfmkj hfdo fcfemst tlk n`dokrs, stfremc fttlk dkenemc. Lk slùnjmt lfvk hkkm s` lfrsl. Tlk wfs lubfm

fmj slk lfj akknemcs, kvkm ea slk wfs stupej. Lk a`rdkj leb-

skna t` n`ò emt` lkr hn`tdly afdk. N`ò, E om`w wlkrk yù

dfm ckt lknp.

M`h`jy dfm lknp bk.

Uks, tlky dfm. Ea by sestkr dfm dlfmck, fmyh`jy dfm.

Tlk wfs hfj àa.

I`rjfm wepkj lkr afdk `m lkr snkkvk. E rkbkbhkr lkr.

Hut slks jeaakrkmt m`w. Tlk wkmt t` trkftbkmt, fmj

slks nkfrmemc l`w t` nevk s`hkr.


23/41

81 Qede` us Dydnk

E j`mt lfvk fmy b`mky, slk sfej. By b`b . . . m`

wfy slkj kvkr spkmj f dkmt `m tlft.

Uù j`mt mkkj b`mky. Dlurdlks fmj Dlrestefm pk`pnksupp`rt tlk pnfdk. Ets f c``j pnfdk. Tlk neoks et.

E j`mt om`w. E dùnjmt lfmjnk fnn tlft Dlrestefm stuaa.

Lk sfw pfem em lkr kyks fmj f jkspkrftk mkkj t` hrkfo

arkk à lkr dlfems. Bfyhk slk rkfnny jejmt wfmt t` hk neok

tles. Iust tfok f stkp, I`rjfm. J` et a`r yùr hfhy.

Tlk tùdlkj lkr st`bfdl, fmj a`r f b`bkmt, lk tlùclt

slk beclt nestkm.Tlk jejmt. M`t tlkm.

Hut f dùpnk à b`mtls nftkr, fs lkr prkcmfmdy hkcfm t`

sl`w fmj tlk jkspkrfte`m em lkr kyks crkw b`rk emtkmsk, slk

dfbk t` leb fatkr fnckhrf. Nkfmemc `vkr les jkso, slk sfej,

Dfm yù lknp bk ckt emt` tlft pnfdk0

Lk n`òkj up ft lkr. Slft pnfdk0

Zlft pnfdk wlkrk yùr sestkr es.

Nfmdk dfuclt les hrkftl fmj c`t up. Turk. Zlky om`w

bk. E dfm ckt yù em. Lk l`pkj et wfs truk, tlft tlky

wùnjmt bfok lkr wfet a`r f hkj tlk wfy Kbeny lfj lfj t`

wfet. Ea tlky jej, slk beclt dlfmck lkr bemj. Sk dùnj c`

hy tlkrk fmj yù dùnj tfno t` tlkb. E dùnj ckt by b`b t`

tfok us t`jfy. Tlks pedoemc bk up fatkr sdl``n.Zlft fatkrm``m, lk fmj les b`tlkr t`ò I`rjfm a`r f

tùr à Mkw Jfy. Slkm tlky t`nj lkr slk dùnj dlkdo em

wetlùt pfyemc f jebk, slk w`rokj up tlk dùrfck fmj

fcrkkj. Lkr b`tlkr, wl` mkkjkj trkftbkmt lkrskna, lfj

rknudtfmtny secmkj tlk pfpkrs, pr`hfhny cnfj t` jubp lkr `m

s`bk`mk knsk.

[p umten m`w, Nfmdk lfj d`msejkrkj tles `mk a les crkft

pkrs`mfn fdd`bpneslbkmts. Lk sfw I`rjfm kvkry Tfturjfy

wlkm lk dfbk t` veset Kbeny, fmj lkj wftdlkj lkr pr`crkss

wetl prejk.


24/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 83

M`w slk wfs c`mk, wetlùt f w`rj à wfrmemc, wetlùt

cevemc leb f dlfmdk t` tfno lkr ùt à et.

Lk stkppkj t` tlk kjck à tlk wftkr, pedokj up f r`do,fmj tlrkw et t` tlk dkmtkr à tlk p`mj. Et jr`ppkj wetl f

pnumo, reppnks sprkfjemc. Lk tlùclt fhùt I`rjfms akw ves-

ets ar`b lkr fhusevk b`tlkr fmj hr`tlkr, vesets tlft fnwfys

nkat lkr em tkfrs. Sly wùnj slk c` hfdo t` tlft0

Kbeny put lkr lfmj `m les hfdo. Uù òfy0

Sly jej slk nkfvk0

E j`mt om`w, slk sfej. Tlk jejmt tfno t` fmy à usfhùt et. Hut E j`mt tlemo lkr b`b rkfnny wfmtkj lkr t` ckt

wknn.

E om`w wly slk nkat, s`bk`mk hklemj leb sfej.

Nfmdk turmkj t` skk Fbfmjf, `mk à Kbenys r``bbftks.

Sly0

Tlk wfs aekmjemc a`r j`pk, tlfts wly.

Lk l`pkj m`t. Tlkj hkcum t` dfrk fhùt tlk hfhy slk

wfs dfrryemc, hut usemc bktl wlenk slk wfs prkcmfmt dùnj

skreùsny lurt et. J` yù tlemo slk wkmt l`bk0

Wr`hfhny, Kbeny sfej. Hut ets tkrrehnk tlkrk. Fmj slks

juk fmy jfy.

Nfmdk lfj aknt tlk hfhy oedo fmj lfj hkkm fbfzkj hy

tlk untrfsùmj pedturk I`rjfm dfrrekj em lkr pursk. Slft easlk lfj c`mk hfdo t` jrucs0

Bfyhk E dùnj try t` dfnn lkr, lk sfej. Tkk ea E dùnj

tfno s`bk skmsk emt` lkr.

Kbeny swkpt lkr hn`mjk lfer hklemj lkr kfrs fmj stujekj

leb a`r f bemutk. Ets w`rtl f try. Zknn lkr wk bess lkr.

J`mt w`rry, lk sfej. Ea E aemj lkr, Enn tfno lkr emt`

d`bemc hfdo. E c`t lkr lkrk tlk aerst tebk. Tlk nestkms t` bk.


25/41

8


26/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 85

hfdocrùmj fmj kxpkrekmdk cfvk lkr fm kjck. Nfst wkko

slkj lknpkj f afbeny wl`sk lùsk lfj hurmkj. Zlky wkrk

rkhuenjemc fmj mkkjkj t` aurmesl kvkry r``b. Zlk d`bbes-se`m lfj hkkm f hnkssemc ar`b C`j. Zlkyj sfej slkwfs tlk

hnkssemc, semdk huyemc ar`b lkr wfs neok lfvemc tlker `wm

emtkre`r jkd`rft`r.

Kvkm wetl tlft d`bbesse`m, tlemcs wùnj hk teclt wlkm

Kbeny dfbk l`bk. Hfrhfrf wùnj lfvk t` rksubk pfyemc

Kbenys dfr emsurfmdk, huy lkr s`bk dn`tlks, pfy tuete`m a`r

tlk d`nnkck dnfssks slkj hk tfoemc em Ifmufry. Tlk l`pkj slkdùnj bfmfck et fnn. Kvkr semdk lkr lushfmj jekj aevk ykfrs fc`,

okkpemc lkr afbeny aemfmdefnny fan`ft lfj hkkm lkr rksp`msehen-

ety. Tlk wùnj bfok et w`ro s`bkl`w. Tlk fnwfys lfj.

Lkr pl`mk vehrftkj, fmj slk punnkj et ùt à lkr p`dokt

fmj sfw tlft slk lfj f vèdkbfen. Tlkj m`tedkj et vehrftemc

kfrnekr wlkm slkj hkkm wetl f dust`bkr, hut slkj ecm`rkj

et. M`w slk nestkmkj t` tlk bkssfck fmj sbenkj fs slk lkfrj

Okmt Lfrnfms vèdk.

Lky, Hfrh. T`rry E besskj yù. E wfs iust . . . tlemoemc

tlft bfyhk E dùnj tfok f jfy `r tw` àa fmj d`bk t` Kbe-

nys crfjufte`m B`mjfy. J`mt om`w ea yù wfmt bk tlkrk

`r m`t. Zlkrk wfs f n`mc pfusk. Ea yù tlemo et wùnj hk

hkttkr a`r Kbeny ea E wkrkmt tlkrk, m` pr`hnkb. E wfmt lkrt` lfvk f rkfnny c``j jfy. Fcfem, lk lksetftkj, fs ea s`bk

umspòkm qukste`m lumc hktwkkm tlkb. E wfmt yù t` lfvk

f c``j jfy t``. L`pk yùrk lfvemc f c``j jfy t`jfy.

Zlk fwowfrj bkssfck bfjk lkr sbenk fcfem. A`r f

tùcl l`bedejk d`p, tlkrk wfs s`bktlemc vkry vunmkrfhnk

fhùt Okmt.

Tlk tlùclt à dfnnemc leb hfdo hut jejmt om`w wlft

t` tknn leb. Tlùnj lk d`bk, `r slùnjmt lk0 A`r tlk nfst

ykfr, tlkyj tfnokj `m tlk pl`mk f n`t, fmj lkj aùmj

kxdusks t` d`bk t` Ikaakrs`m Dety f dùpnk à tebks t` skk


27/41

47 Qede` us D ydnk

lkr. Hut jestfmdk bfjk et jeaaedunt t` pursuk f skreùs rknf-

te`mslep. A`dusemc `m lkr dlenjrkm wfs tlk b`st ebp`rtfmt

tlemc.Kbeny lfj hkkm s` trùhnkj fatkr lkr aftlkrs jkftl. Hfr-

hfrf akfrkj jèmc fmytlemc m`w tlft dùnj rkvevk tl`sk akkn-

emcs. Jkprksse`m fmj creka dùnj trecckr f rknfpsk. Hksejks,

slk wfmtkj crfjufte`m jfy t` hk fhùt Kbeny, fmj ea Okmt

wkrk tlkrk, Hfrhfrfs fttkmte`m wùnj hk jevejkj. Kbenys

vedt`ry fatkr d`bbettemc f ykfr t` lkr lkfnemc wfs t``

ebp`rtfmt t` jebemesl em fmy wfy.Ttenn . . . Hfrhfrf wùnj rkfnny n`vk t` skk leb.

Hfrhfrf!

Tlk turmkj fmj sfw Neny, `mk à lkr d`-w`rokrs, d`bemc

t`wfrj lkr wetl f jesturhkj n`ò `m lkr afdk. Tlk wfetkj fs

Neny dr`sskj tw` r`ws à rkdnemkrs. Zlft l`bknkss cuy es

hfdo, slk wlespkrkj.

Hfrhfrf n`òkj `vkr Nenys slùnjkr. Zlk sdruaay bfm

wfs settemc em f Nfmk rkdnemkr, les akkt up fmj les ifw lfmc-

emc `pkm. Lk wfs sùmj fsnkkp.

Eb cèmc t` dfnn tlk p`nedk, Neny sfej. Sk dfmt lfvk

leb em lkrk sdfremc tlk dust`bkrs.

Hfrhfrf tùdlkj Nenys frb. Iust wfet, pnkfsk. Enn tfok

dfrk à et.Neny n`òkj hfdo ft leb. @ofy, tkm bemutks. Ea lks m`t

ùt a lkrk hy tlkm, fmj d`bpnktkny aa tlk prkbesks, emdnuj-

emc tlk pfroemc n`t, Eb lfvemc leb frrkstkj.

Et wùnjmt hk tlk aerst tebk. Hfrhfrf wfnokj up tlk r`w

à Nf-Y-H`ys t` tlk Nfmk skdte`m fmj sft j`wm em tlk dlfer

mkxt t` tlk bfm. Zùdlemc les frb, slk sfej, I.H., wfok

up.

Zlk bfm sterrkj, fmj les kyks `pkmkj hn``jsl`t, fs

usufn. Les hrkftl sbknnkj rfmdej, fmj rkj, emanfbkj soem

sl`wkj tlrùcl les spfrsk, umokbpt hkfrj. Les soe dfp wfs


28/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 46

tlrkfjhfrk fmj aently, fs ea lkj aùmj et em f cfrhfck hem.

Lky, lk sfej, cr`ccy.

I.H., E t`nj yù, yù dfmt lfmc ùt em lkrk.Ets d`nj ùt, lk sfej. Ius mkkjkj f pnfdk t` ckt wfrb

a`r f wlenk.

Uù lfvk t` j` et s`bkwlkrk knsk. Uù om`w tlft.

Tlk cnfmdkj t`wfrj tlk jkso, fwfrk tlft lkr d`-w`rokrs

wftdlkj. E tfnokj t` yùr b`b.

Lk ruhhkj les kyks. Fw, m`.

Tlks rkfnny w`rrekj fhùt yù.Zlkm wly w`mt slk nkt bk d`bk l`bk0

Hkdfusk nfst tebk yù wkrk tlkrk, tlemcs jejmt c` s`

wknn. Zlkrk wfs m` pèmt em bkmte`memc tlft lkj cevkm les

aftlkr f hnfdo kyk fmj pfwmkj les b`tlkrs ikwknry.

E w`mt stfy lkrk n`mc.

Uù dfmt stfy ft fnn. Zlkyrk cèmc t` dfnn tlk p`nedk.

Zlky cfvk bk tkm bemutks t` rum yù ùt.

Teclemc, lk rkfdlkj a`r tlk nkvkr t` n`wkr tlk a``trkst

hut dùnjmt aemj et. Tlk lknpkj leb n`wkr et, fmj lk sft up

strfecltkr. Fnn reclt, Eb cèmc.

D`bk t` by dfr wetl bk, slk sfej sàtny. Uùr b`b

skmt bk s`bk tlemcs a`r yù. F wfrb d`ft fmj s`bk cn`vks.

Lk ruhhkj les mkcnkdtkj hkfrj. Zlk d`rmkrs à les bùtltrkbhnkj, fmj lk d`vkrkj les kyks wetl f aently lfmj.

I.H., yùr b`b sfej tlk àakr es stenn `pkm a`r yù t` c`

t` trkftbkmt. Tlknn d`bk fmj ckt yù fmj tfok yù lkrskna.

E j`mt mkkj trkftbkmt, lk snurrkj. E j`mt lfvk f

pr`hnkb. Lk puslkj lebskna up wetl crkft kaa`rt fmj t`ò

f akw stkps, w`hhnemc. Lfvkmt kftkm fnn jfy, lk sfej. C`t

f akw hudos0

Tlk t`ò les frb fmj wfnokj leb t`wfrj tlk j``r. E

dfmt cevk yù fmy b`mky, I.H. Hut E lfvk s`bk a``j em tlk

dfr.


29/41

48 Qede` us D ydnk

Fs tlk cnfss j``rs snej `pkm, tlk d`nj fer hnfstkj lkr.

T`rr`w druslkj lkr lkfrt ft tlk tlùclt a leb hkemc kxenkj

emt` tles wkftlkr. Tlk wfmtkj t` tfok leb l`bk wetl lkr,hut ea les `wm pfrkmts dùnjmt trust leb, mketlkr dùnj slk.

Tex b`mtls fc`, fatkr lkj hkftkm up les aftlkr, les b`tlkr

lfj ièmkj Hfrhfrfs supp`rt crùp a`r pfrkmts à pr`jecfn

dlenjrkm. Slkm slkj sl`wm Hfrhfrf f pedturk, Hfrhfrf lfj

rkd`cmezkj leb fs `mk à tlk l`bknkss bkm wl` wfmjkrkj

emt` tlk aurmeturk st`rk m`w fmj tlkm t` ksdfpk tlk subbkr

lkft fmj tlk wemtkr dlenn.Lk lfj dlèdks, slk rkbemjkj lkrskna. Lk jejmt lfvk t`

nevk `m tlk strkkts. Lk dùnj c` t` f slkntkr `r f trkftbkmt

dkmtkr. Ea lk w`rokj, lk dùnj ckt les `wm pnfdk. Lk dùnj

kvkm c` l`bk ea lk wùnj iust st`p usemc.

Hut I.H. wfsmt fhnk `r wfsmt wennemc t` j` wlft et t`ò

t` nevk f aumdte`mfn neak. Tlk aknt leb slevkremc fs tlky dr`sskj

tlk pfroemc n`t. Tlk punnkj lkr okys ùt à lkr p`dokt fmj

p`ppkj `pkm tlk trumo.

Zlk hfc I.H.s b`tlkr lfj skmt sft mkxt t` tlk h`x à

drfdokrs fmj ifr à pkfmut huttkr Hfrhfrf lfj hùclt a`r

leb tlk nfst tebk slk wkmt t` tlk cr`dkry st`rk. Lkrks

s`bktlemc t` kft, slk sfej.

Lk t`ò tlk h`x a drfdokrs hut jejmt n`ò tlft emtkrkstkj.Tlk lfmjkj leb tlk hfc, fmj lk punnkj ùt f hrfmj mkw

pfrof wetl f wfrb l``j. Zlk `mk lk lfj `m wfsmt wfrb

kmùcl, fmj et jejmt n`ò neok et aet. Tlk w`mjkrkj wlkrk

lkj c`ttkm et.

S`mt hk fhnk t` okkp tles n`mc, lk sfej fs lk punnkj et

`m `vkr les `tlkr `mk.

Sly m`t0

T`bkh`jynn tfok et. Les hrkftl stkfbkj `m tlk ar`sty

fer fs lk juc emt` tlk hfc fmj punnkj ùt s`bk cn`vks, f

sdfra, fmj f mkw omet dfp.


30/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 44

Dlfrn`ttk wfs b`tlkremc leb tlk hkst slk dùnj. Hut

Hfrhfrf dùnjmt ksdfpk tlk er`my tlft lkr arekmj wfs

jrkssemc lkr s`m t` survevk, l`bknkss, `m tlk d`nj strkkts.Slft knsk dùnj slk j`0

Hfrhfrf lfj wftdlkj Dlfrn`ttk, wl` lfj hkd`bk `mk à

lkr jkfrkst arekmjs, sdurry frùmj tlk lùsk aemjemc tlemcs

slk tlùclt beclt lknp I.H. Dlfrn`ttk wfs aecltemc lkr `wm

hfttnk wetl dfmdkr. Hut tlft dreses wfs skd`mjfry t` lkr w`r-

reks fhùt lkr `mny s`m.

Kvkm Dlfrn`ttks tùcl n`vk em nkfvemc leb `m tlkstrkkts wfs b`rk a`r les hkmkaet tlfm a`r lkrs. Lkr l`pk wfs

tlft tlk tkbp`rfry l`bknkssmkss wùnj bfok leb let h`t-

t`b. Zlft lkj s`bkl`w d`bk t` les skmsks, dlkdo lebskna

emt` trkftbkmt, fmj j` wlft wfs mkdkssfry t` dlfmck les

neak.

Hut tlkrk wfs m` secm à tlft lfppkmemc ykt.

Lk zeppkj up tlk d`ft fmj wrfppkj tlk sdfra frùmj les

mkdo, tlkm jr`ppkj tlk drfdokrs hfdo emt` lkr trumo. Eb

m`t lumcry.

I.H., yù sfej yù lfjmt kftkm. Zfok tlkb. Kft.

E iust mkkj f akw hudos.

Eb m`t cevemc yù b`mky. Es tlkrk fmytlemc yù wfmt

bk t` tknn yùr b`b0Lk tlùclt a`r f b`bkmt, tkfrs rebbemc les kyks. Zlkm

lk turmkj fmj stfcckrkj fwfy.

Tlk dn`skj tlk trumo fmj dlfakj lkr frbs, wftdlemc

fs lk bfjk les wfy àa tlk pfroemc n`t. Ar`b tlk hfdo, lk

n`òkj neok f st``pkj, keclty-ykfr-`nj bfm.

Lk wfs `mny twkmty-tlrkk.

I.H., slk dfnnkj ùt.

Lk okpt wfnoemc.

I.H., c` t` tlk slkntkr. Ets cèmc t` ckt rkfnny d`nj

t`meclt.


31/41

4: Qede` us D ydnk

Lftk tlft pnfdk, lk sfej.

Slkm lk wfs àa tlk prkbesks, slk swfnn`wkj tlk nubp

em lkr tlr`ft fmj lkfjkj hfdo emsejk. Neny wfetkj ft tlk cnfssj``rs fs Hfrhfrf wkmt em. Jej yù tknn leb m`t t` d`bk

hfdo0

Lk om`ws. Lks iust d`nj.

Sk dfmt lfvk l`bknkss pk`pnk lfmcemc frùmj lkrk.

E om`w.

Uù slùnjmt akkj leb. Et bfoks leb d`bk hfdo.

Lks m`t f strfy j`c, Neny. Lks by arekmjs `mny s`m.Tlk lurrekj emt` tlk hftlr``b, crfhhkj f tessuk aa tlk semo,

fmj jfhhkj ft lkr kyks.

Tlk wùnj lfvk t` dfnn Dlfrn`ttk nftkr fmj tknn lkr I.H.

lfj c`ttkm tlk d`ft. Hut t`jfy wfs f dlkb` jfy. Dlfrn`ttk

lfj et `m Tfturjfys, semdk slk w`rokj juremc tlk wkko.

Bfyhk slk slùnj wfet umten t`b`rr`w.

Hfrhfrf stujekj lkr rkankdte`m em tlk berr`r. Okmt sfej

slk n`òkj neok Bedlknnk Wakeaakr, hut tlk b`vek stfr jejmt

lfvk jkkp nemks frùmj lkr bùtl `r creka nemks hktwkkm lkr

hr`ws. Afbeny pr`hnkbs lfj fckj lkr, fs et lfj lkr arekmjs.

Lfj slk j`mk tlk reclt tlemc a`r Dlfrn`ttks s`m0 Bfyhk

slk slùnj lfvk nkt Neny lfvk leb frrkstkj. Ft nkfst lkj hk

wfrb t`meclt, fmj rknftevkny sfak.Et wfs s` lfrj t` om`w wlft t` j`.

Lkr pl`mk vehrftkj fcfem, fmj slk n`òkj j`wm ft tlk

rkfjùt. Nfmdk. Tlk dnedokj et `m. Lky, swkktek. Slfts up0

M`tlem, lk sfej. E wfs tlemoemc fhùt I`rjfm. B`b,

j` yù om`w lkr b`tlkrs mfbk0 E wfmt t` ckt tlker mubhkr

ar`b Ema`rbfte`m.

Tlk pedturkj I`rjfms b`tlkr, wl` n`òkj neok slkj

hkkm usemc jrucs a`r jkdfjks. Zlùcl slk wfs pr`hfhny

budl yùmckr tlfm Hfrhfrf, slk n`òkj tlrkk tebks `njkr.

Ets Bfurkkm. T` yùrk cèmc t` dfnn I`rjfm0


32/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 4;

Wr`hfhny. Tlk mkkjs t` c` hfdo t` trkftbkmt. [semc

jrucs wlenk slks prkcmfmt lfs c`t t` hk rkfnny, rkfnny hfj

a`r lkr oej.Et wùnjmt lurt t` dfnn lkr. Eb surk slkj fpprkdeftk

tlft yù dfrk.

Lk seclkj. Ets iust tlft ea slks usemc, slk pr`hfhny

w`mt tfno t` bk. Tlk w`mt wfmt bk t` om`w.

Fnn yù dfm j` es try. Iust umjkrstfmj tlft yù dfmt

bfok lkr j` fmytlemc. Lkr b`tlkr dfm, semdk I`rjfms f

bem`r, hut om`wemc lkr, ets m`t neokny tlft slk wenn.Bfyhk E slùnj tfno t` lkr b`tlkr t``.

Iust rkbkbhkr, tlk dlèdk es I`rjfms. Ea slk j`ksmt

wfmt yùr lknp, yù dfmt a`rdk lkr t` fddkpt et, fmj yùnn

lfvk t` nkfvk et fn`mk.

Hut, B`b, tlk hfhy . . .

E om`w, l`mky. Zlft hfhy mkkjs f lkr`. Tenkmdk lumc

lkfvy `vkr tlk nemk. Nestkm, E lfvk t` ckt hfdo t` w`ro.

Ukfl, òfy.

Slkm Hfrhfrf lumc up, slk prfykj f senkmt prfykr a`r I.H.

fmj I`rjfm fmj a`r tlk emm`dkmt hfhy fhùt t` kmtkr f dlf-

`ted w`rnj. Jfhhemc lkr kyks fcfem, slk nkat tlk hftlr``b fmj

wfnokj t` tlk ar`mt j``r iust fs f afbeny fppr`fdlkj ar`b

tlk pfroemc n`t. Zlkrk wkrk tw` tkkms wetl tlkb. Zlft wfs fc``j secm. Slkm f afbeny dfbk wetl fj`nksdkmt dlenjrkm, et

usufnny bkfmt tlky wkrk pnfmmemc t` bfok f purdlfsk.

Ketlkr tlft, `r tlky wfstkj f n`t à lkr tebk.

Tlk bkt tlkb fs tlky kmtkrkj tlk st`rk. Le, bfy E lknp

yù0

Zlk b`tlkr n`òkj jesemtkrkstkj. Sk iust wfmt t` n`ò

frùmj.

Crkft, akkn arkk. Hfrhfrf lfmjkj tlkb lkr dfrj. Eb

Hfrhfrf. Iust s` yù om`w, Eb m`t iust f sfnkspkrs`m? Eb fm

emtkre`r jkd`rft`r. M` kxtrf dlfrck.


33/41

41 Qede` us D ydnk

Et jejmt skkb t` ebprkss tlkb, hut slk a`nn`wkj ft f

jestfmdk s` slk d`unj lknp tlk b`bkmt tlky lfj f qukste`m.

Tlk mkkjkj fm`tlkr hec sfnk, fmj slk wfsmt c emc t` nkt tlesafbeny ckt fwfy.


34/41

43

Dlfptkr ;

Nfmdk t`nj lebskna lk wfsmt jèmc fmytlemc wr`mc tfoemcles sestkrs dfr, hkdfusk lk fnb`st lfj les jrevkrs nedkmsk.Em tlrkk b`mtls, tlk wl`nk jrevemc tlemc wùnj hk f m`m-

essuk. Lfvemc t` wfet umten sextkkm wfs rejedunùsny rfmj`b,

fmywfy, kspkdefnny wlkm f hfhys neak wfs ft stfok.

Zlk slfnn`w rkfssurfmdk jejmt s``tlk les d`msdekmdk.Ea les b`tlkr aùmj ùt fhùt tles, lkj hk crùmjkj umten

lk wfs tlerty. Lkj iust lfvk t` ckt tlk dfr hfdo hka`rk slk

c`t l`bk. Hut dfnnemc I`rjfm wùnjmt dut et. Lk dùnjmt

d`mvemdk lkr à fmytlemc `vkr tlk pl`mk, kspkdefnny ea slk

wfs lecl. Hut ea lk st``j wetl lkr afdk-t`-afdk, bfyhk lk

dùnj swfy lkr.Lk jr`ppkj emt` tlk jrevkrs skft, ifhhkj tlk oky em tlk

ecmete`m, fmj stfrtkj et up. Kbenys Fdd`rj wfsmt tlk dfr lk

wùnj lfvk dl`skm. Lk wfs b`rk à f D`rvkttk oemj à cuy,


35/41

4< Qede` us D ydnk

`r bfyhk f d`mvkrtehnk Beme D``pkr. Hut tlk `mny wlkkns em

les auturk wkrk tl`sk `m les softkh`frj.

Lk fjiustkj tlk berr`r fmj dlkdokj lebskna ùt. Lkn`òkj c``j hklemj tlk wlkkn. D`ba`rtfhnk, neok lk jr`vk

fnn tlk tebk. Les b`tlkr nkt leb prfdtedk f n`t, fmj lk wfs f

mfturfn, ea lk jej sfy s` lebskna.

Fs lk hfdokj ùt à tlk jrevkwfy, Nfmdk dfnnkj Ema`r-

bfte`m `m les dknn pl`mk, fsokj a`r fm fjjrkss a`r Bfu-

rkkm Xl`jks. Fatkr f b`bkmt, tlk d`bputkr tkxtkj leb tlk

fjjrkss 6147 Tebps`m X`fj. Lk omkw reclt wlkrk et wfs.Lk jr`vk tlk akw benks t` Tebps`m X`fj, d`mstfmtny

dlkdoemc les rkfrvekw berr`r a`r anfslemc hnuk neclts.

Zlk strkkt wfs aennkj wetl `nj, benjkwkj lùsks wetl

rustkj dfrs `m dkbkmt hn`dos em tlk yfrjs, cfrhfck b`njemc

em t`rm trfsl hfcs `m tlk strkkt.

Lk jr`vk pfst tlkb t` f strktdl à w``js, tlk trkks pr`-

vejemc f stfro d`mtrfst t` tlk jenfpejftkj mkeclh`rl``j.

Fatkr lfna f benk `r s` à w``js, f n`mk lùsk dfbk emt`

vekw. Zlk lùsk mubhkr wfs pfemtkj em afjemc, jerty wletk

`m tlk rustkj hnfdo bfenh`x. 6147. Zles wfs et.

Zlk yfrj wfs umokbpt fmj `vkrcr`wm. Zlk pfemt `m tlk

lùsk wfs pkknemc, fmj em pnfdks tlk kfvks lumc umkvkmny,

fppfrkmtny r`ttkm. Mkw Jfy wfs f pfnfdk d`bpfrkj t` tles.Lk nkat les dfr pfrokj `m tlk strkkt fmj wfnokj fdr`ss

tlk yfrj tlft wfs b`stny jert fmj tfnn dnubps à wkkjs. Zlk

sdrkkm j``r wfs t`rm fmj dr`òkj `m ets lemcks, fmj tlk

ar`mt j``r wfs `pkm. Lk om`dokj `m tlk arfbk.

D`bk em, s`bkh`jy yknnkj.

Akknemc fwowfrj, Nfmdk `pkmkj tlk sdrkkm fmj stkppkj

emsejk. Ft `mdk, lk wfs let wetl f rfmdej bexturk à sdkmts.

X`ttkm a``j, h`jy `j`r, decfrkttk sbòk . . . Lk dùclkj,

w`mjkremc ea lk slùnj c` hfdo ùtsejk, hut lk jejmt wfmt

t` hk rujk.


36/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO 45

Hky`mj tlk ar`mt r``b, em tlk oetdlkm j``rwfy, lk sfw

I`rjfms b`tlkr wetl f decfrkttk lfmcemc ùt à lkr bùtl.

Bfurkkm wfs soem fmj h`mks, m` b`rk tlfm memkty pùmjsà om`hhy ièmts fmj fmcunfr soknkt`m. T`bk à lkr tkktl

wkrk r`ttkm, fmj lkr dlem lfj tlft n`ò à t``tlnkss fck.

Lkr lfer wfs crkfsy fmj lumc em lkr afdk? jfro derdnks sfmo

umjkr lkr kyks. Slkm slk sfw leb, slk t`ò tlk decfrkttk

ùt à lkr bùtl fmj stfrkj ft leb. Slft j` yù wfmt0

[b . . . es I`rjfm lkrk0

Tlk squemtkj fs slk hnkw ùt sbòk, tlkm puslkj pfstleb fmj n`òkj ut tlk sdrkkm j``r. E wfs kxpkdtemc s`bk-

h`jy knsk. Tlk turmkj hfdo fmj stujekj leb. @l, yùrk

tlft cern Kbenys hr`tlkr, reclt0

Uks, bffb, lk sfej. Skrk w`rrekj fhùt I`rjfm

hkdfusk slk nkat trkftbkmt. Es slk lkrk0

Tlk femt akknem c``j. D`bk hfdo fm`tlkr tebk. Tlk

`pkmkj tlk sdrkkm j``r, jesbessemc leb.

Hut Nfmdk lksetftkj. Wnkfsk, Bs. Xl`jks. E iust wfmt t`

tfno t` lkr a`r `mk bemutk.

E t`nj yù, slks sedo.

Tedo l`w0 Es tlk hfhy òfy0

Tlk put tlk decfrkttk hfdo em lkr bùtl, mfrr`wkj lkr

kyks. T`m, tlfts m`mk à yùr husemkss, slk sfej. M`wEb kxpkdtemc d`bpfmy, s` E mkkj yù t` nkfvk.

Zlk lùsk jejmt n`ò em fmy d`mjete`m a`r d`bpfmy. Lk

cnfmdkj tlrùcl tlk sbfnn nevemc frkf t` tlk oetdlkm. Zlkrk

wkrk jerty pnftks fmj cnfssks fnn `vkr tlk dùmtkr, fmj cfrhfck

spennkj ùt à f trfsl dfm. Zlk dfrpkt wfs dfokj em buj fmj

jert, fmj decfrkttk hutts nfy wlkrkvkr tlkyj hkkm jr`ppkj.

Nfmdk lkfrj fm`tlkr dfr frrevemc ùtsejk, fmj Bfurkkm

`pkmkj tlk sdrkkm j``r. Zlkrk tlky frk. Aemfnny. M`w, c`

`m. E dfmt lfvk yù lkrk.

Nfmdk stfrtkj t`wfrj tlk j``r hut tlkm lkfrj s`bk`mk


37/41

:7 Qede` us D ydnk

em tlk lfnnwfy. Lk turmkj frùmj. I`rjfm dfbk emt` tlk nev-

emc r``b, wkfremc nkccemcs fmj f hec, hfccy Z-slert. Lkr

afdk n`òkj pfnk fmj lfj f crfy dfst, fmj lkr n`mc hr`wmlfer wfs tfmcnkj. Nfmdk, wlft frk yù jèmc lkrk0

Tlkj hkkm dryemc. Lkr afdk wfs sw`nnkm fmj puaay, fmj

lkr lfmjs trkbhnkj. Lkr st`bfdl stenn n`òkj hn`ftkj, hut

m`tlemc neok et lfj tlk nfst tebk lkj skkm lkr. I`rjfm, yù

lfj tlk hfhy0

Ukfl, tles b`rmemc, slk buttkrkj.

Bfurkkm nkt tlk sdrkkm j``r afnn slut fmj cfvk lkrjfucltkr f stkrm n`ò. C` hfdo t` yùr r``b fmj ckt tlk

hfhy. Zlkyrk lkrk.

Bfurkkm wkmt ùtsejk, nkttemc tlk sdrkkm j``r hùmdk

slut hklemj lkr. I`rjfm stkppkj t` tlk wemj`w fmj pkkrkj

ùt.

Frk yù fnn reclt0 Nfmdk fsokj quektny.

I`rjfm stfrkj ft tlk bfm fmj w`bfm ckttemc ùt à tlk

dfr. Zl`sk pk`pnk. E j`mt wfmt tlkb tfoemc by hfhy.

Nfmdk a`nn`wkj lkr cfzk. Sl` frk tlky0

By b`tlkr fmj by hr`tlkr lfvk s`bk oemj à jkfn

w`rokj ùt. E j`mt wfmt et. Tlk w`hhnkj, fs ea slk beclt

pfss ùt, fmj dfuclt lkrskna `m f dlfer.

Nfmdk crfhhkj lkr frb fmj stkfjekj lkr. Frk yù ofy0Tlùnjmt yù hk em tlk l`spetfn0

By b`b wùnjmt tfok bk. E lfj lkr lkrk ft l`bk.

Ft l`bk0 Sly0 Tlk jejmt fmswkr. I`rjfm, wlkrks

tlk hfhy0

By r``b. Tlk strfecltkmkj fs fm`tlkr dfr punnkj emt`

tlk yfrj tlk hnuk J`jck lkj skkm ft Mkw Jfy wlkm lkr

afbeny vesetkj. Ykok c`t ùt à tlk dfr fmj wkmt t` tlk vese-

t`rs, crkktemc tlkb neok tlky wkrk `nj arekmjs. Aemfnny, lks

hfdo, slk sfej hettkrny. B`b skmt leb t` ckt jefpkrs fmj

h`ttnks, hut lk pr`hfhny st`ppkj àa t` ckt lecl.


38/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO :6

Es tlk hfhy òfy0

Lkr vèdk anfttkmkj. E j`mt om`w.

Lk twestkj les afdk fs lk trekj t` bfok skmsk à tles.Lfs f j`dt`r skkm lkr0

M`. Tlk turmkj t` f tfhnk mkfr tlk j``r, b`vkj pfpkrs

fmj dnuttkr. Slkrk es tlk `tlkr skt à dfr okys0

Zlk dùpnk wetl Bfurkkm fmj Ykok dn`skj tlker dfr

j``rs fmj lkfjkj t` tlk p`rdl. I`rjfm hfdokj fwfy ar`b

tlk wemj`w. Nfmdk, E mkkj yùr lknp.

@ofy. Uù wfmt bk t` tfok yù t` tlk l`spetfn0Fs tlk veset`rs rkfdlkj tlk p`rdl stkps, I`rjfm turmkj

fmj rfm hfdo up tlk lfnn.

I`rjfm! Nfmdk dfnnkj fatkr lkr.

Zlk hkjr``b j``r dn skj, fmj lk lkfrj tlk n`do dnedo fs

lkr b`tlkr uslkrkj tlk dùpnk em. Zlk sdrkkm j``r squkfokj

fs tlky stkppkj emt` tlk lùsk.

Zlk bfm fmj w`bfm wkrk wknn jrksskj. Zlky cnfrkj ft

Nfmdk. Sl`s tles0 tlk bfm fsokj.

T`bk arekmj à I`rjfms, Bfurkkm sfej. Oej, E t`nj

yù t` nkfvk.

Ykok puslkj em pfst tlk `tlkrs fmj stfrkj Nfmdk j`wm.

Uù lkfr lkr, jujk0 Tlk t`nj yù t` c`.

Nfmdk jejmt b`vk. Bs. Xl`jks, I`rjfm j`ksmt n`òc``j. Tlk slùnj hk em tlk l`spetfn fmj s` slùnj tlk hfhy.

Ea yù w`mt tfok lkr, E wenn.

Enn tfok dfrk à I`rjfm, Bfurkkm sfej. J`mt yù

w`rry fhùt et. Tlk st`rbkj tlrùcl tlk lùsk fmj yknnkj,

I`rjfm, hremc tlk hfhy! Skrk wfetemc.

Nfmdk iust st``j tlkrk, fst`meslkj ft wlft wfs lfppkm-

emc. Bs. Xl`jks, frk yù cevemc tlk hfhy t` tlkb0

Tlk swumc hfdo frùmj, lkr kyks cn`wkremc. L`w

bfmy tebks j` E lfvk t` tknn yù t` ckt ùt à by lùsk0

I`rjfms upskt fhùt tles, lk sfej t` tlk dùpnk. E


39/41

:8 Qede` us D ydnk

j`mt tlemo slks rkfjy t` cevk tlk hfhy up. Bfyhk tlky

wùnj nestkm. M` fj`ptevk pfrkmts wfmtkj t` jkfn wetl fm

emjkdesevk hertl b`tlkr, jej tlky0Hut tlk bfms kyks anfslkj. Ckt leb ùt à lkrk, Bfu-

rkkm, `r wkrk dfnnemc tlk wl`nk tlemc àa.

M`! Wfmed dr`sskj Bfurkkms afdk. Lks nkfvemc!

Tlk t`ò Nfmdks frb fmj puslkj leb t`wfrj tlk j``r.

Nfmdk ikrokj arkk. T`bktlemc wfsmt reclt lkrk. I`rjfm

wfs hkemc rfenr`fjkj. Lk b`vkj hfdo t`wfrj tlk lfnn. I`r-

jfm! I`rjfm!Tlk jejmt fmswkr. Fppfrkmtny, slk jejmt wfmt leb

lkrk fmy b`rk tlfm lkr b`tlkr jej. Hut lfjmt slk sfej slk

mkkjkj les lknp0 Slft wfs tlft fhùt, ea slk wfs cèmc t`

n`do lkrskna em lkr r``b0

Enn ckt tlk oej byskna! Bfurkkm yknnkj. Tlk puslkj

Nfmdk ùt à tlk wfy fmj trekj I`rjfms j``rom`h. N`dokj.

Tlk hfmckj `m tlk j``r, slfoemc tlk lùsk.

Zlkrk wfs stenn m` fmswkr.

Nfmdk lkfrj Ykoks lkfvy a``tstkps rfttnemc up tlk lfnn-

wfy. Zlk rfck `m les afdk stfrtnkj leb.

Uù! @ut m`w, r Eb c`mmf sbfsl yùr afdk em! Ykok

crfhhkj Nfmdk hy tlk slert fmj jrfcckj leb hfdo emt` tlk

nevemc r``b.Nfmdk trekj t` punn fwfy. Bfyhk E slùnj iust dfnn

tlk p`nedk! Lk ikrokj arkk, punnkj les dknn pl`mk ùt, fmj

stfrtkj t` pumdl em 566. Ykok crfhhkj tlk pl`mk fmj tlrkw

et fcfemst tlk wfnn. Slkm et let tlk an``r, lk druslkj et wetl

les a``t. Zlkm lk pedokj up tlk pekdks fmj tlrkw tlkb ùt

tlk j``r.

Lky! Nfmdk yknnkj. Zlft wfs by pl`mk!

Fs Nfmdk dlfrckj leb, Ykok crfhhkj leb hy tlk tlr`ft.

I`rjfms hr`tlkr wfs soemmy ar`b jruc usk t``, hut lk wfs

skvkrfn emdlks tfnnkr tlfm Nfmdk. Ykoks wenj kyks succkstkj


40/41

ZKXXE HNFDOTZ@DO :4

lk dùnj smfp Nfmdks mkdo wetlùt f tlùclt. Uù nkfvk

m`w, yù nettnk d`dor`fdl, fmj ea yù sfy `mk w`rj t` tlk

p`nedk, Enn aemj yù fmj rep yùr lkfj àa. C`t tlft0Nfmdk om`dokj Ykoks lfmj fwfy. Tlks yùr sestkr, lk

dlòkj ùt. Zlk hfhys yùr mekdk!

Ykok t`ò leb hy tlk d`nnfr, rfm leb t` tlk j``r, fmj

tlrkw leb ùt. Nfmdk treppkj cèmc j`wm tlk ar`mt stkps

fmj nfmjkj `m les lfmjs fmj omkks em tlk drfhcrfss. Ckttemc

quedony t` les akkt, lk n`òkj a`r les pl`mk. Lk aùmj tlk

pekdks em tlk jert, tlk cnfss ar`mt sbfslkj. Lk trekj t` turmet `m, hut et wùnjmt p`wkr up.

Twkft jreppkj emt` les kyks, jkspetk tlk dlenny wemj. Lk

n`òkj frùmj, jfzkj. Lk dùnjmt c` hfdo em. Ykok beclt

oenn leb.

Lk ruslkj hfdo t` Kbenys dfr, snfbbkj tlk j``r, fmj

n`dokj et em dfsk fmy à tlk numfteds emsejk dfbk fatkr leb.

Zlkm lk punnkj `mt` tlk strkkt. Lkj lurry l`bk fmj dfnn

566. Bfyhk et wùnjmt hk t`` nftk a`r tlk p`nedk t` lknp

I`rjfm.

Hut fs lk turmkj tlk d`rmkr mt` tlk mkxt strkkt, f hfhys

dry reppkj ùt. Lk snfbbkj `m tlk hrfoks fmj n`òkj emt`

tlk hfdoskft. F mkwh`rm hfhy nfy `m f penn`w `m tlk hfdo

an``rh`frj, kyks sdrkwkj slut, afdk rkj, dryemc fs ea et umjkr-st``j pkrakdtny tlk bkss et lfj hkkm h`rm emt`.


41/41

Qede`us DydnkFm Emtkrvkmte`m M`vkn

Hy9 Zkrre Hnfdost`do

Huy Qede`us Dydnk m Y`mjkrvfm.d`b.

Nkfrm B`rk
http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cyclehttp://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310331551&cm_mmc=ZT-_-Scribd-Mar11-_-Scribd-_-Vicious+Cycle

vicious cycle by terri blackstock, excerpt

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