USF FYIT Tutor Meeting-Training Topic: Assertiveness

• Definition and Elements of Behaviors

• Special Notes from Danielle

• Scenarios

• References

Passive Elements

Not expressing your feelings, needs, right and opinions where there is a over-consideration for other’s feelings, needs, rights and opinions.

Feelings: bottling up your own feelings or expressing them in indirect or unhelpful ways

Needs: Regarding the other person’s needs as more important than you your own. Giving in to them all the time.

Rights: The other person has the rights but you do not allow yourself the same privilege.

Opinions: You see yourself as having little or nothing to contribute and the other person as always right. You may be frightened tto say what you think in case your beliefs are ridiculed.

Aim: to avoid conflict at all time and to please others.

Aggressive Elements

Expressing your own feelings, needs, rights and opinions with no respect for other people’s feelings, needs, rights and opinions.

Feelings: Expressing your feelings in a demanding, angry and inappropriate way.

Needs: Your own needs are seen as being more important than others and theirs are ignored or dismissed.

Rights: Standing up for your own rights, but doing so in such a way that you violate the rights of other people.

Opinions: You see yourself as having something to contribute and see other people as having little or nothing to contribute.

Aim: to win at all costs, including the expense of others.

Assertive Elements

Expressing your own feelings, needs, rights and opinions while maintaining respect for other people’s feelings needs, rights and opinions.

Feelings: In assertion, you are able to express your feelings in a direct, honest and appropriate way.

Needs: You have needs that have to be met otherwise you feel undervalued, rejected, angry or sad.

Rights: You have basic human rights and it is possible to stand up for your own rights in such a way that you do not violate another person’s rights.

Opinions: You have something to contribute irrespective of other people’s views.

Aim: to be able to walk about feeling that you put across what you wanted to say.

A Few Notes from our District Liaison, Danielle Winford about Assertivness

• Remember to address the behavior, if you need to follow up

with similar behavior from the youth; utilize staff support

• With regards to Parents, don’t get offended, actually Parents

get quite offended if you target their children. Don’t take it

personal.

• More often than not, you can utilize the secretary rather than

the principal to help speed things up.

• If you don’t feel comfortable about something, come to us:

Antonio, Kim, Danielle.

• Lastly, be firm. You are a valued member of the community

and you have the right to feel comfortable where you work.

Scenarios

Lights, Camera, Assertiveness!!

• And if you’re not here go to this link!

References

Williams, Chris (2000) Being Assertive: Overcoming

Depression, A Five Areas Approach. University of Leeds

Innovations Ltd.

http://

www.leeds.ac.uk/ahead4health/assets/Beingassertive.pdf

Ford, Natasha & Shoben, Chelsea (2013) University of

Central Florida SARC Peer Tutor Training Materials Online

http://sarctutoring.wikispaces.com/

Assertiveness+and+Working+with+Difficult+Students