assertiveness final
TRANSCRIPT
Sales Skills Symposium & WORKSHOP
Amelia Lee – October, 2014
Workshop Objectives
• Introduction to Assertive Skill and Techniques
• To provide an opportunity for you to practice Assertive Skills and provide feedback
• Develop an action plan for future us
Continuum of Human Behavior
What does being Assertive Mean?
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.
It is a form of behavior and mode of communication….
“…characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person's rights
or point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another (assuming a position of dominance) or submissively
permitting another to ignore or deny one's rights or point of view.”
Assertiveness
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It is a learnable skill
Good Business practice
Good News!
AssertivenessAssertiveness Advantages
• Improved Personal and Team Performance
• Improved Negotiation Skills
• Improved Interpersonal Relationships
• Business deals can often be settled
• Reflects confidence
• Indicates decisiveness
• Empowers the individual
Why are we not Assertive?
Exercise
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Assertiveness
Perhaps we believe in….
… don’t ask, it will be given
… work hard and it will come
… be polite, it’s rude to give honest feedback
It’s all about keeping the balance
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Assertiveness
Mutual needs
PASSIVE
Passive, Assertive and Aggressive Behaviors
Debrief Assertive Assessment – Exercise
Passive Behaviors
Passive
• Nervousness
• Keeps distance
• Hunched shoulders
• Little or no eye contact
• Smiles when criticized
• Frequent throat clearing
• Overtly conscious of the implications of the conversation
Passive• Quite or soft spoken• Pauses frequently as if not sure about the appropriateness of the
sentence• Eager to finish the conversation and move on• Hesitates or is slow in responding
Passive Communication
Aggressive behavior
Aggressive• Uses accusatory phrasing in their language.
• Uses a lot of “I” statements. It is all about the person who is delivering the request.
• Uses threatening language. There can be many “if” statements which lead to punishment if the request is not satisfied. For example, “If you don’t comply, I will …”
• Delivers opinions as facts.
• Uses sarcasm and mockery.
• Uses forceful words such as “must”, and “will” frequently.
Aggressive Communication
Non Verbal
•Posture: Rigid, Tight fists, Clenched Teeth
•Facial Expressions: Tight Jaw, Glancing, Frowning, Eye Squinting, Tense
•Gestures: Pointing, Finger wagging, finger stabbing, Invading personal space, tense
Verbal
•Speech and Voice: Fast, Loud, Clipped, High pitched, Demanding, Opinionated
Assertive Behavior
Assertive• Composes sentences logically
• Emotionally relaxed and reserved
• Authentic
• Good eye contact without seeming to want to demean
• Thinks through the request and has an obvious solid structure to the reasoning.
• Uses clear and concise statements. The receiving end has no problem understanding what is wanted of them.
• Cares about the opinion of others and is willing to compromise as necessary to achieve the higher aim
• “I” statements are present but are used sparingly when appropriate.
Assertive Communication
Assertive Body Language• Posture: Upright, Relaxed, Open
• Facial Expressions: Committed, Concerned, Interested, Responsive
• Speech and Voice: Direct, Relaxed, Friendly, Well Moderated, Not strained
• Gestures: Open, Hands not raised above elbow, Parallel shoulders
Be direct: Get to the point as clearly as possible and deliver it confidently
Be brief: Less is more. Don’t confuse the other person by extra details or vague conservative requests. Deliver your request and stop
Provide reasons: To support your requests, provide a number of rational reasons.
Make sure to present concise reasons directly related to your request
Assertiveness General Guidelines
Ask questions: Seek clarification and confirm understanding
Make good eye contact: Make eye contact appropriate for the culture, always with a friendly gaze and never seeming to demean.
Keep good posture and body positioning: Don’t seek to dominate or to subjugate yourself. Keep an open posture at angle to the listener.
Assertiveness General Guidelines
Assertive vs. Aggressive behavior traits:
• Results focused vs. lack of focus • Enthusiastic vs. shows indifference; not excited• Honest vs. unable to trust • Courageous vs. afraid of rejection• Understanding vs. lack of empathy or compassion• Committed to growth vs. uncommitted to change or growth• Respectful vs. shows lack of respect
Assertive Selling / Aggressive Selling
(360 Solutions)
What Stops You from being more Assertive?
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Techniques for Assertive Behavior
There are four basic techniques for assertive behavior:
• Broken Record• “You May be Right”!• Straight Talk• Three-part “I” Message
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Broken Record Situation: You are busy working on a project that is due today. A co-worker comes to you and ask you to join him/her for lunch:
Co-Worker: “He, why don’t you join me for lunch today?
You: “I’d love to, but I can’t. I have a two o’clock deadline to meet”
Co-Worker: “You’ll be back on time. Don’t worry so much; it will get done.”
You: “I’d love to, but I really can’t. I have a two o’clock deadline.
Co-Worker : “But everyone will be there. The department is going”
You: “I’d love to, but I can’t”
Co-Worker: “Okay, maybe you’ll join us next time.”
You: “Sure, I’d like that. Thanks.”
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“You May Be Right”
Situation: You find yourself in the midst of a discussion with your boss on the value of money as a motivator for today’s employees and sense the conversation is getting heated. You fear the situation, if it escalates, may jeopardize your relationship
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Straight Talk
I want…….. + Because…….. The Total Process looks like this:
1)Send message2)Be silent3)Active Listen4)Resend Message5)Repeat steps 1 – 3 as needed6)Once you hear a willingness from the other to change or comply, show appreciation (i.e. Thank you!)
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Straight Talk PracticeA Co-worker keeps interrupting you while you are busy at work. These Interruptions are not only annoying, but you find yourself unable to get Back into what you were doing. What would you say?
I want:
Because:
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Three-Part “I” Messages
Description Troublesome
Behavior
Disclosure of Feelings
Effect it has
on you
When you….. I Feel…… Because……
+ +
+
+
(Guttman Development Strategies)
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Three-Part “I” MessageOne of your Brand Ambassadors has not been getting out new product and is behind on the visual guidelines consistently. You have asked them before to follow the guidelines and have showed them several times, every time you visit this account our Brand Standards are compromised. You are upset and angry, and you want to avoid such embarrassment in the future by ensuring the visual standards are completed on time and represent the Brand in a positive way.
When you……………..
I feel………………………..
Because……………………….
Case Studies
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Practice AssertivenessYou realize one account consistently opts out of promotional programs. Once again, they have decided not to buy into this season’s promotional offering. They are currently down 10% from last years sales and 30% off projected plan for the year.
Your Assertive Response:
A Brand Ambassador fails to maximize the consumer experience by clearly discovering the customer/s needs and adding on appropriate items. When you recommend they take advantage of specific eLearning courses, they scoff at their validity
Your response:
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Practice Session
Choose the following situations that you have found difficult to handle in the past:.
• Disagreeing with something someone has said. • Handling customer complaints.• Not able to sell in a program
What did you do?
How would you respond assertively the next time you are in a similar situation?
Situational Assertiveness
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Action Planning
Consider How you will adopt a more Assertive Personality in the Areas of 1) Dealing with Others 2) Selling Skills
• Share with a Colleague and determine an Accountability Buddy.
Thank you – Questions?