Two sides to every semesterHow to bridge the uni student-family communication gap

The saying goes that there are two sides to every story, and the same could be said for every semester at university.

Whether it’s assessment-induced stress or the pressures of exam preparation, as a First in Family student you might find it difficult at times to communicate

your uni workload to your family and friends. Similarly, they might have trouble understanding what you’re up to at different stages of the semester.

To help both you and your friends and family to see things from the other side, we’ve mapped out some common semester milestones and provided tips

and advice on how to keep communication flowing through each.

It may not always be easy, but good communication is the key to

making it work.

1. Pre-semester bliss

This is all a bit nerve-wracking. But I’m feeling good. I’m going

to be the best student ever! He seems positive. Gosh I hope this uni thing works out for him, I’m so nervous.

Study Time

As a new uni student, you’ll probably be feeling a mix of emotions before you’ve even hit the books. While this is a big moment for you, it’s likely that

your family might be feeling some mixed emotions of their own as they try to figure out how this ‘uni thing’ will work and how they can support you.

At this pre-semester stage, it can be helpful to…

Discuss uni openly with your family and friends. Find out if they have questions or concerns and answer these if you can.

If you don’t have the answers they’re after, explain that you’re still learning and will keep them in the loop as you figure things out.

Remember, good communication is the key to making things work.

2. Early semester optimism

Study? Yeah I’ll get to it. I have plenty of time!

He seems to have a lot of time on his hands for someone who’s at uni… None

of my business though.

How’s the study going?

Too Easy!

At this stage of the semester you’re probably feeling confident that you can manage your different priorities and fit study in as well. Your social life is still buzzing and you’re really enjoying the flexibility you have to study wherever

and whenever you like, even on the couch!

Taking a look from your family’s perspective though, your new schedule might make it seem as though you’ve got plenty of time on your hands and not much study to do, especially if you’re spending a lot of that time on the couch! These misunderstandings can lead to tension later in the semester…

Help your family to understand the flexibility of your uni timetable by explaining the different ways you can study and the different types of work you need to complete each week. Be mindful that university study is very

different to the structure of school, so it might take your family and friends some time to get their head around things.

Good communication is the key to making things work.

3. Assessment overload

Well… that escalated quickly! What’s his problem all of a sudden? He had plenty of time for his mates last

week but now he’s ‘too busy’ to even do his washing!

Get Busy

Assessment crunch-time can get seriously hectic, so it’s no surprise you might be feeling overwhelmed, tired and maybe a

little stressed out.

It’s important to keep in mind that while assessment may be your main concern at the moment, your family might not understand your workload or

the pressure you’re feeling, so good communication is essential during this phase.

� Take the time to explain what your assignment is and how much work it involves so that your family has a better understanding of your workload. This can also help to relieve tensions if you need to forego a family commitment or weekend activity to get your assignments done.

� Be willing to accept help. If your family is offering to proofread your assignments or bring you a cup of coffee, be open to their support.

� Look after yourself. While it’s important to get your assignments done, if your family is trying to drag you out of the house for a study break, it’s probably a

good sign that they’re looking out for you and feel it might be time for some fresh air.

4. Exam exasperation

DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUT GROCERIES?!

I’m just going to get the groceries, did you want to come?

Geez. I was just trying to get him out of the house for a while.

That’s it. I quit. There’s no hope. This is impossible!

Whoah!

When exam block is looming, stress levels reach an all time high and it’s usually not just the student that feels the pressure.

Sometimes it can be super frustrating when your family hangs around or interrupts your study, but take a moment to see things from their perspective.

Maybe they want to support you but aren’t sure how to help?

� Whether you want some words of encouragement or total silence, let your family know what you need and take the time to be extra tactful. It’s easy to get snappy under pressure!

� Acknowledge that the household routine might be a little askew during exam block. Don’t be too hard on yourself (or your family and friends) and remember that it’s only temporary.

� As stressed out as you might be, try to find at least a few minutes each day for some time out. Whether it’s a special pre-exam dinner or just a quick chat over

breakfast, checking in with your loved ones between study sessions will help you to feel supported and help them to feel involved.

Good communication is the key to making things work.

5. Post-semester relief

Phew..

I think I did it. I think it’s over. Oh my gosh it’s over!

I wonder if I passed? Is it safe? Can we come out now?

After all that stress and hard work, you’ve totally earned a good break! This is a great chance to keep your mind off your pending

results by doing something fun with your family and friends.

It’s likely they’ve seen a fair bit less of you lately, so take this opportunity to kick back, relax and enjoy their company.

� If you’re feeling nervous or are a bit on-edge about your upcoming results, make sure you let your family know how you’re feeling and why your marks are important to you.

� Plan an activity for the evening of results release day. If your marks are what you’ve been hoping for, it’s a great chance to celebrate. If they’re not what

you were expecting, it’s a good way to keep your mind occupied and cheer yourself up with some great company.

6. The full circle phase

Ok, time to get ready for the next semester. I’m going to be the best student ever!

And here we go again…

Study Time

With the challenges of the last 5 phases behind you, it’s time to reflect, regroup and gear up to do it all over again!

� Update your calendar with the due dates of your different assessment items and important family or social events. This will make you aware of any clashes or super busy periods so that you can be prepared and work around them. Don’t forget to schedule in some study-free days!

� Reflect on your past semester and also ask your family and friends for their thoughts on what did and didn’t work well. Use this pre-semester time to put together a new study plan to try and avoid any similar issues recurring. � Reach out to The Learning Centre or

the team at Student Services if you need a hand organising your new routine or aren’t sure how to combat some of the challenges you faced last semester.

Everyone’s journey through university will be unique and the stages of your semester might look similar or vastly different to these. Either way, the most important thing to remember is that whatever stage you’re in,

good communication is the key to making it work.

Find out more about common family confusion and how to set things straight

with our Jargon Journal.

CRICOS: QLD00244B NSW02225M TEQSA: PRV12081 31.2.8 03.2016 Graphics © Shutterstock

social.usq.edu.au/fifThe First in Family Project (Phase 2) is funded through the Commonwealth Government’s Higher Education Participation Program (HEPP) in 2016, to improve the access, participation and success of students from communities under-represented in higher education.