tips for engaging when beginning to …engage so you’re an american? a guide to answering...
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04:ENGAGE
SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD
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TIPS FOR ENGAGING
When beginning to communicate with
someone, you have to decide whether
or not you want to continue into a
conversation. If you decide to engage,
there are a number of non-verbal and
verbal tactics you can use that will aid
in showing your engagement.
As you carry forward in the
conversation there are also a handful
of techniques that can help guide how
you choose to answer any difficult
questions that may arise.
ENGAGING AND DISENGAGING
SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD
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TECHNIQUES FOR DIFFICULT QUESTIONS
• Consider the situation
• Gauge the attitude of the questioner
• Listen and think through the question
• Identify the context
• Prepare to answer
• Answer confidently and clearly
• Relate to and emphasize shared cultural
values
• Find commonalities
• Don’t speak negatively about other cultures
• Ask questions
• It’s ok to say you don’t know the answer
• Try to control your emotions
• Try to make an emotional connection
Show empathy—most often, even if
the communication is challenging,
people just want to be heard. You do
not have to agree, but trying to see
things from another’s perspective can
be enlightening.
When Starting Out Generally, When Responding
04:ENGAGE
TECHNIQUES FOR ENGAGING
Depending on the question you’ve been asked and your willingness to engage, any number of the following tactics could be useful:
• Provide personal experiences/anecdotes
• Use humor
• Ask a question in response
»Ask their opinion, or for clarification about wherethey came across the information they’re providing
• Refer to the diversity of the United States
• Address stereotypes
»Be willing to explain that stereotypes don’t applyto everyone
• Use examples from history
• Defer to policy or process
• Pivot to the future
• Redefine the question
If you’re off the beaten path, you might be the only person affiliated with the United States that the person you’re interacting with has met. Try to maintain a positive attitude and be a teacher and a student. If you’re willing to share and you’re open to learning, it’s likely you will have better experiences.
When Responding to Difficult Questions
Keep in Mind
SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD
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ENGAGING AND DISENGAGING
SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD
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If you decide you want to get out of the
conversation or avoid a question, there are
a number of things that you can do.
What follows are some tips for dealing
with difficult questions and ways to step
away from conversations that seem like
they’re veering into topics you don’t want
to address.
TIPS FOR DISENGAGING
04:ENGAGE
SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD
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TECHNIQUES FOR DISENGAGING
When Fielding a Difficult Question
You Don’t Want to Answer Examples
• Politely refuse to answer or say that you “Sorry, I’m not comfortable answering that,” or
don’t know the answer “I’m afraid I don’t know.”
• Point to the complicated nature of the issue “That’s hard to answer, what are your thoughts
and ask their opinion about it?”
• Refer to the diversity of the United States “The United States is a big country and there are a lot of different opinions about...”
• Acknowledge that no country is perfect“Obviously our country, like many others, is not
• Refer to history without its faults.”
“Well, our founding fathers had their reasons, and a lot of people still debate what they were.”
ENGAGING AND DISENGAGING
TECHNIQUES AND TIPS FOR DISENGAGING
SO YOU’RE AN AMERICAN? A GUIDE TO ANSWERING DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABROAD
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When Fielding a Difficult Question
You Don’t Want to Answer Examples
Tips
• Point to your lack of involvement in the issue
• Deflect or change the subject
“I haven’t really experienced that,” or “I’m not a policymaker.”
“It’s such a nice night, why are we talking about…,” or “You like movies, right? What did you think of…”
• Remain as neutral as you can.
• Don’t take things personally.
• Do your best to maintain yourcomposure if the topic is offensive to you.
• Try not to get defensive.
• Try to recognize when stereotypes comeinto play.
• Remember, humor can help defuse acharged situation.
• Have a handful of positive things to sayabout the culture you’re in.