thirty-two clerihews for the 2010 uk general election
TRANSCRIPT
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...Butb
ehone
st,Iam
lesspreachythanhew
as,a
ren'tI
?
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*Affairs going public are, alas, no longer a cause for resignation.
However, no-one should be forced to visualise Prescott in a discreet act ofattempted procreation.
Itreallycouldn'thavebeen
me
...Iwasonth
e
othe
rsid
eof
town
whe
nithappened...Ihavewi
tnesses
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Weshallfightthemint
hechamb
er,int
he
corridorsand
the
committee
rooms,
weshall nevers
urrender...
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Myn
extb
ookw
illbecalled
'HowIW
asRight
AllAlong'
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Th
ey
le
ftam
a
nw
ith
no
fu
tureincharg
eoftheBritishe
conomy...thatm
akesp
erfe
ctsense.
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Iu
suall
ypay
toclear
upmyownactsofvandal
ism...n
ow
I'mpaid
toc
lea
ru
psomeoneelse's...
ECONOMY
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Ikeepmydaggerinmysum
merjacket,yousee.
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Isaid
was
...Imeantt
hat...y
ou'v
et
wistedm
y
word
s...itw
assecretlyreco
rdeda
ftera
ll
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...andwhen
Ishak
eKimJo
ngIl's
,I'llhavetheset
,you
see
.
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Perha
psIco
uldhavephrasedth
atalittl
ebitbetter...
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Remarkablehowsomanyofusingovernmenta
reformerMarxists...
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Look,it's
quitea
senio
rpost
...
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Itwaseithe
rthiso
rdoth
at
fancyd
res
sth
ingonk
ids'TV...
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...sonomorepistejokes,th
en...
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...and
Iha
dthat
barne
y
with
Cleggonthetelly...
*Apart from Campbell, Kennedy, Opik and poor Mark Oaten,
The latter's execrable exploit is, however, best forgoatten.
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Yous
ee,
someo
fu
shave
to
havemor
eequ
alitythanothers....
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*The popular description of this scandal was obvious, I am thirty-five years
too late,
In asking lazy journalists to refrain from suffixing such events with '-gate'.
...
It'
safair
copguv
,but
societ
y'sto
blam
e.
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Thisisal
lac
omp
lete
loadof.
..it'sonth
etipofmy
ton
g
ue...
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Iusedtodosta
nd-
up
monol
gu
esonChannel4with
Bad
di
el...
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It'
s
on
lyb
ecau
se
I'm
nota
sgood-lookingashim
...
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Fish
y,fishy,f
ishy,fish
y,
fis
hy,fi
sh.
..
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*I apologise. Perhaps she has no desire to be a mother or a wife.
She might even be cohabiting I have no insight whatsoever into her
personal life.
Busy
,b
usy
bee
,th
at's
me,
that's
me
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*But before, on this, I start fielding some most unpleasant calls,
She simply may not want to be described as 'Mrs Evey Balls'.
Lesso
ftheh
andbag,
matey
an
d
more
ofth
e
hoc
ke
ystic
kknowha'a'mean,awright?
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Youdidn'
tmen
tionthes
hoes!Th
eshoes!N
obod
yevergetsth
eshoes!
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*If this is not the case then up I will not be het,
As on this topic I did perform a thorough search upon the internet.
...butI
don
'tthinkI
've
been
scar
redbyit
...
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*To avoid a contempt of Parliament a clarification I feel I owe.
It was the election outcome to which I referred and absolutely not MrBercow.
Mayb
enexttim
e...but
...
maybe...n
ot.
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Shabb
a-ba
bba-b
oo-bo
o-boo-oo
laythatcrazyvibedownonme da
ddy-o
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*One wonders why he felt that, with us paying, only forty the job could do,
When we would have clearly been better off had he bought, second-hand, a
cathode-ray with only thirty-two.
Youfo
rget
tomention
th
e
cinemasoun
ds
ystem
Igot...itreallybrin
gs
outthe
film...
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*It is to be hoped that this blatantly dishonest attempt at remuneration,
Will permanently prevent for them a successful House of Lords nomination.
Paul Timothy Horgan,
For you, this humble offering he has organ-
-ised. Aged forty-six, for twenty-five years a career in IT he enjoyed,
Until the Dot-Com Bust and Credit Crunch, because of which he became
quite unemployed.
Any
really
bad
newsy
ouwa
nttob
ury?
I'll
ma
ke
th
is
your
bestyearever,
big
boy...
Me?
HelpstartawarintheGulf?W
ithmyreputatio
n?
Textma
deava
ilableun
dera
Crea
tive
Common
sAttri
bu
tion
2.5
license.
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derived
from
Wikipe
dia
.Allrig
htsac
know
ledge
d