thinksmart learner workbook

7/28/2019 Thinksmart Learner Workbook

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Thinksmart

Participant Worksheets and

Handouts



Session 1

2

Introduction to the CourseThis course has been designed to help you to help

yourself. The activity sheets and discussion topics

will provide you with the opportunity to exploredifferent aspects of how you think, feel andbehave, then help you make the changes that youwant in your life.

Here are some important points to keep in mind as you make a start:

• We all have the ability to solve problems and to make effectivechanges in our lives. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of howto do this.

• Change of any sort affects us on all levels. For example, a change inthe way that you think about a certain situation can lead to changesin how you feel physically and in how you behave in that situation.

• When you feel ‘stuck’, if you take note of what the ‘whole’ of you is

feeling, thinking and sensing then you are likely to come up withsome creative solutions to your difficulties.

• A programme of this type can help you to feel more in control of your life and to enjoy more fulfilling relationships, solve problemsmore effectively, and feel better about yourself.

• Remember ‘thinking smartly’ is a great way to start to think and

feel better about yourself!



Session 1

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Remembering Names

Names are an important part of who we are. You may have chosen to

shorten your name or use a nickname to reflect how you would like tobe known. Remembering other people’s names is an important skill andthere are many techniques that can help you do this.

One is to link the person’s name with something else – an object,something they like doing, a colour they like to wear and so on. Foreach person in the group, note down something that will help you toremember his or her name.

Name Memory aid



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Getting to Know the Group

Find as many people as possible in the group who can agree with thefollowing statements. Write their names in the space provided.

Statement People that agree

I own a mobile phone

I have a pet

I enjoy watching sport

I have seen one of my favouritefilms more than three times

I like spicy food

I got the bus here today

I have an unusual hobby

I don’t like chocolate



Session 1

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Being Part of a Group

Throughout life most of us have the chance to be part of manydifferent groups, including family, school, work, sport and friendshipgroups. You may feel more comfortable in some types of groups thanothers and you will have developed certain ways of ‘being’ and thinkingabout yourself in relation to different groups. It is important torecognise that you have some choice about this.

How I normally cope with groups How I would like to be in this group

What I believe I can contribute What would help me to feel mostcomfortable in this group



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Confidentiality

‘Confidentiality’ means that what we talk about in the group is special

to us and we won’t tell anyone outside the group.

It’s OK for you to talk to your own family and friends about what youdo and say in the group if you want to, but remember, what others sayis private.

If you tell the group facilitators anything that makes them think that you are not safe outside the group or that you are in danger they will

have to talk to someone outside the group who can help protect you.But they will try to tell you what they are doing and why. The mostimportant thing is that you are safe. Please think about the rules youwould like to have in your group to feel safe.

Our group rules about Confidentiality are:

I agree to keep to the group rules and to stick to the confidentiality agreement.

Signature:__________________________________________



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Activity 1: Who am I?

Something important about me Physical features

Personality Beliefs

Talents and skills Things I enjoy

Things I dislike Important events

Important people Important places

Difficulties I have overcome Hopes/ambitions

Anything else?



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Activity 2: Character Sketch

Imagine that you are writing a script for a play about your life. Howwould you describe yourself in a character sketch? Write as though

you are your own best friend, someone who knows you better thananyone else and is supporting and understanding of the true you. Startwith your name.

_________________________________ is...



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Activity 3: My House

Roof of Rules(what rules do I believe?)

1.

2.

3.

Chimney of Fears(what do I worry about?)

1.

2.

3.

Window of Truth(my beliefs)

3.


2.

Sensation Smoke (how do I feel?)

Yellow Brick Road(my early experiences)

Doorbell(my trigger)

Behaviour Birds(how do I act?)


1.



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Group goals and objectives.At the end of the course I would like to:

1.__________________________________________________

2.__________________________________________________

3.___________________________________________________



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Home Activity 1:Personal Checklist

Shade in the boxes to show how much each of these statements istrue for you.

I have a strong senseof who I am

I am very aware ofhow I behave indifferent waysaccording to thesituation I am in

I have a goodunderstanding of howdifferentrelationships work

I am able to beindependent andself-reliant

I am able to be in arelationship withoutfeeling swamped or

overwhelmed by theother person

I can usually seethings from otherpeople’s perspectives

I am usually realisticabout how I thinkothers view me

I am respectful andtolerant of otherpeople’s views

I understand myemotions and why Ifeel the way I do indifferent situations

I feel in control ofhow I express myemotions

I am able todistinguish myfeelings from thoseof others

I am able toacknowledge my ownstrengths

I believe that I am alikeable andworthwhile person

I recognise areasthat I find difficultand may want to workon

I can acceptconstructive criticismfrom others

I am assertive in theway that I deal withunjustified criticismfrom others

I can tolerate myown mistakes

I like and respectmyself

I feel OK about myphysical appearance

I take good care ofmyself

I know how to relaxand enjoy myself

I am self-motivated.I tend not to worrytoo much whatothers might think ofme

I am able to adjustmy actions, feelingsand thoughtsaccording to realisticassessments of myprogress

I believe that I havemastery over my life

I enjoy newchallenges

I believe that I letother people see whoI really am throughmy words and actions

I am usually able tolisten well to whatothers have to say

I enjoy talking tonew people

I consider myself tobe a creative person

I believe that myoptions, thoughts andactions have value

I am confidentenough in my ownabilities to be able totry different ways ofsolving problems

I am generallyoptimistic

I tend not to dwellon past events orworry about thefuture

I regularly setmyself realistic yetchallenging goals

I cope well withunexpected events

I believe that I amcapable of fulfillingmy potential



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Home Activity 2: RosenbergSelf Esteem Scale (SES)

Please read the following statements and shade the box that bestdescribes how much you agree or disagree with each one

StronglyAgree

Agree Disagree StronglyDisagree

On the whole, I am satisfied withmyself

3 2 1 0

At times, I think I am no goodat all

0 1 2 3

I feel that I have a number ofgood qualities

3 2 1 0

I am able to do things as well asmost other people

3 2 1 0

I feel I do not have much to beproud of

0 1 2 3

I feel useless at times 0 1 2 3

I feel that I should be valuedand I am equal to others

3 2 1 0

I wish I could have morerespect for myself

0 1 2 3

I often think I am a failure 0 1 2 3

I take a positive attitudetoward myself

Add up the total number of points in the shaded boxes to get your

final score:



Session2

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The Magic CircleThinksmart aims to help you discover helpful ways of dealing with yourproblems. It is based on something called cognitive behaviour theory(CBT). Cognitive refers to what you think; behaviour is about what you

do. According to this theory what you think about things affects how you feel and what you do:

We will find out more about this link, but here are some examples tohelp you understand how it works:

Thinking that you are not very good at talking to people maymake you feel very worried or anxious when you are out with your friends. You may go quiet and not talk very much.

Thinking that no one likes you may make you feel sad. You maystay at home on your own.

Thinking that you never get things right may make you feelangry. You may give up trying because you think it’ll be wrong.

Thinksmart will help you realise that sometimes you may not see thewhole picture, and maybe only look at one side of the story – usuallythe bit that ha sn’t quite gone right.Often, you may not even realise what you are doing. It has becomepart of everyday life and it can be very difficult to see any way out, orto think about how things could be different.

What you do

What you think

How youfeel



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What You Think

Our minds are always busy. As soon as one thought passesthrough, another arrives to take its place. We are constantly

thinking about all sorts of things. Many of our thoughts are describingthings that are going on around us. Others will be about ourselves.

These might be about the way we see ourselves:I’m fat I have lots of friendsI’ve got a bad temper

These might be about how we judge what we do:I’m hopeless at organising myself I’m good at sports I’m pretty good at making friends

They might describe our view of the future:No one will ever want to go out with meI’ll never get to university I’ll be a millionaire by the time I’m thirty

How You FeelAs we have begun to see, the way in which we think affectshow we feel. Our thoughts will result in many differentfeelings.

Positive or nice thoughts often produce pleasant feelings.The thought “I’m really looking forward to that party” maymake you feel happy.The thought “Although we lost I played really well” may make

you feel pleased.The thought “I look quite nice in thes e clothes” may make youfeel relaxed.

At other times we may have more negative thoughts, and these oftenproduce unpleasant feelings:

The thought “I bet no one will turn up to my party” may make you feel anxious.The thought “We lost again – we will never win” may make you

feel angry or sad.



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The thought “I don’t like these clothes ” may make you feelworried and unhappy.

Many of these feelings will not be strong and will not last for verylong. You may not even notice them.

At other times, these unpleasant feelings take over. They becomevery strong and seem to last.

The unpleasant feelings people notice most often are those of stress,unhappiness and anger.

What You Do

If these feelings last or become very strong, they start tohave an effect on what you do. We like to feel good, so we

usually try to do more of those things that make us feel good and lessof those things that make us feel unpleasant.

If you feel anxious when talking to other people, you may avoidgoing out or turn down invitations to meet up and do things with

your friends. When you stay on your own you may feel morerelaxed.

If you feel sad or unhappy at school, you may stop going. Youmay feel happier when you stay at home.

If you feel angry when people criticise your work, you may giveup trying so hard.

There are lots of ways in which your thoughts and feelings can affectwhat you do. You may notice that you:

give up and stop doing thingsavoid situations that might be difficultbecome reluctant to try new things

It would seem that these changes prove that our thoughts were right

all along!



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Difficulty in concentrating would prove the thought that “I willnever pass these exams” Staying at home would prove the thought that “No one likes me– I haven’t got any friends” Finding it difficult to sleep or putting on weight would prove thethoughts that “I look a wreck” and “No one would want to go outwith me”

Can we look at this again?You may be caught in a trap.You may only be looking for evidence to support your

negative thoughts.

You may have found it difficult to concentrate today – you didn’tsleep very well last night. Usually you sleep better, and when youhave had a good night’s sleep you are able to concentrate.

You may have stayed at home last night, but you have arranged to

go out with your friends tomorrow.

You may have gained 2 kg but does that really make such a bigdifference to how you look? Your favourite clothes still fit well.

Thoughts may magically come true because you are only looking forevidence that supports them. Is it possible that you are only seeing

one side of the story?

Sometimes by becoming more aware of our thoughts and feelings, wecan start to see how the things we do are affected by our thoughtsand feelings. This is the first step to changing our behaviour.



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Activity 1: The Magic CircleThink of a situation where you felt happy.

Think of a situation where you felt sad or angry.

What were you thinking?

How did you feel ?What did you do?

What were you thinking?

How did you feel ?What did you do?



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Home Activity: My Thought DiaryThroughout the week note down in your thought diarythree experiences you have had

Try to give examples of both a good and bad experienceThink about what happened in these situations and what youthought and felt at the timeYou don’t need to write lots, just jot down a few notes!

Day & Time SituationWhere were you?

Who were you

with?What happened?

ThoughtsWhat were you

thinking?

FeelingsHow were you

feeling?



Session 3

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Thinking Errors

We have begun to see that some of our ‘hot’ automatic thoughts arenot helpful. They may make us feel unpleasant or prevent us from

doing things. The problem with negative automatic thoughts is thatthey continue to go round and round in our heads and we seldom stopto challenge or question them. In fact, we do the opposite – the morewe hear them, the more we believe them, and the more we look forevidence or select things to prove them.

These are thinking errors. There are six common types of thinkingerrors that we make.

1. The DownersWith these types of errors we focus only on the negative things thathappen. We only see the things that go wrong or that aren’t right.Anything positive is overlooked, disbelieved or thought to beunimportant. There are two common types of downers:

Negative glasses Negative glasses only let you see one part of what happens – thenegative part!

If you have a good time, or if nice things happen, the negative glasseswill still find the things that went wrong or weren’t quite good enough.It is these negative things that you notice and remember most.

You may have had a really good day out with your friends, but atlunchtime your favourite cafe was full. When you are asked whether

you had a good time, you reply “No, we couldn’t get into the cafe”.

Positive doesn’t count

With this thinking error, anything positive is dismissed as unimportantor else discredited.

The person who hears that a boy or girl wants to go out with them maythink: “T hey probably can’t find anyone else to go out with” .



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Doing well in a maths test may be discounted as you think: “But it waseasy – we learned all that last year” .

2. Blowing things upThe second type of thinking errors are those when negative things areblown up and become bigger than they really are. This happens inthree main ways:

All-or-nothing thinking

Everything is seen in all-or-nothing terms. It is either boiling hot orfreezing cold, and there doesn’t seem to be anything in between. You may have a disagreement with your best friend and think to

yourself: “T hat’s it – you’re not my friend any more” .

If you fall short of perfect, then you see yourself as a total failure.

Getting 72% in a maths test may cause someone to think “I never getanything right – I’m going to give up maths”.

Magnifying the negativeWith this thinking error, the importance of things that happen isexaggerated. Negative events are magnified and blown up out of allproportion.

“I forgot his name and everyone was looking at me and laughing at me” “I dropped my book and the whole class was watching me”

Snowballing

With this thinking error, a single event or upset snowballs and quicklygrows into a never-ending pattern of defeat. The first grey cloud inthe sky becomes evidence of an approaching thunderstorm.

Not being picked for the sports team could result in thoughts such as“I’m no good at sports, I can’t understand maths, I just can’t do

anything”.



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3. Predicting failureAnother type of thinking error is about what we expect will happen.These types of errors often predict failure and make us expect theworse. This can happen in two main ways:

The mind-readerWith this thinking error, the person thinks that they know whateveryone else is thinking.

“I know she doesn’t like me.” “I bet everyone is laughing at me.”

The fortune-tellerWith this thinking error, the person thinks that they know what willhappen.

“If we go out, I’ll end up sitting on my own”.

“I know I’m not going to be able to do this work”.

4. Feeling thoughtsWith this thinking error our emotions become very strong and cloudthe way in which we actually think and see things. What we thinkdepends on how we feel, not on what actually happens.

Emotional reasoningBecause you feel bad, sad and down, then you assume that everythingelse is, too. Your emotions take over and colour the way in which youthink.

Dustbin labelsYou attach a label to yourself and think of everything you do in these

terms.



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“I’m just a loser ”

“It’s me, I’m just hopeless ”

“I’m rubbish ”

5. Setting yourself up to failThis error is about the standards and expectations that we setourselves. Often our targets are too high, and we never seem toachieve them. We set ourselves up to fail. We become very aware ofour failings and the things we have not done. These thoughts often

start with words such as:

I shouldI mustI shouldn’t I can’t

They result in us setting impossible standards, which we can’t achieve.

6. Blame me!At other times we feel responsible for the negative things thathappen, even though we have no control over them. Everything thatgoes wrong is down to us!

“As soon as I got on the bus, it broke down”.

“If your friend doesn’t see you and walks past without talking to you, you may think ‘I must have said something to upset him”.

Activity 1: The Negative Trap

Remember!

It is important to remember that everyone makes these errors atsome stage. The problem starts when they happen regularly andwhen they prevent you from making real choices about the things

you can or want to do in your life.



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Confirm yourfailure

Negativethoughts

Create doubts/worries

Produceunpleasant

feelings

Make you feel sad,depressed, anxious and

uptight

Feels

disinterested &unmotivated

Affect what you do



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Sam’s Negative Trap

My exam wentreally badly

I’m going to failmy exam

I’m never going toget into Uni and my

family will think I’m afailure

I don’t like myselffor letting myfamily down

I feel upset and tearfulthinking about it

I can’t bebothered to reviseif I’m going to fail

anyway

I’m not in themood to go to

school or do anywork



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My Negative Trap



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Activity 2:What Are They Thinking?

Look at the pictures of young people in different scenarios. Imagine you are in their position. What would their automatic thoughts be?

Seeing a younger child being bullied

Failing an essayHaving fun with

friends



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What Are They Thinking?

Being left out by friends

Being given a present

Doing your favouritehobby



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Home Activity: What Thinking Errors Do You Make? The downers1. How often do you find yourself looking for the bad things that

happen?

Never Sometimes Often All of the time

2. How often do you find yourself looking for the things that gowrong or which aren’t quite good enough?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

3. How often do you ignore or overlook the positive or good thingsthat happen?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

4. How often do you play down the positive or good things thathappen?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

Blowing things up1. How often do you find yourself all-or-nothing thinking?


2. How often do you magnify or blow up the things that go wrong?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

3. How often do single negative events seem to snowball intosomething bigger?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

Predicting failure 1. How often do you think you know what other people are thinking

about you?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

2. How often do you expect things to go wrong?Never Sometimes Often All of the time



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Feeling thoughts

1. How often do you think that you are a stupid or bad person?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

2. How often do you think that you are a loser who can never doanything right?


Setting yourself up to fail 1. How often do you think that things are not good enough unless they

are perfect?


2. How often do you find yourself thinking that you ‘should’ do this orthat?


3. How oft en do you find yourself saying ”I must”?Never Sometimes Often All of the time

Blame me!1. How often do you blame yourself for the things that happen or go

wrong?Never Sometimes Often All of the time



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Balanced Thinking

Often we become stuck in a negative trap and find ourselves making

the same thinking errors time and time again. The more we make theseerrors, the more we believe our negative thoughts and the harder itbecomes to challenge them and see things in a different way.

In order to break out of this cycle, we have to learn to identify andchallenge our negative thoughts. By doing this we shall be able to gaina more balanced view of what is going on.

Until you get used to doing it, balanced thinking can be hard.

The following questions might be helpful:

Q. What evidence is there to support this thought?

Q. What evidence is there to question this thought?

Q. What would my best friend/teacher/parent say if they heard methinking in this way?

Q. What would I say to my best friend if he or she had this thought?

Q. Am I making any thinking errors?

Think back to the previous session on negative thinking and ask yourself:

Q. Am I having a downer on myself and forgetting my strengths?

Q. Am I blowing things up?

Q. Am I predicting failure (mind-reader or fortune-teller)?



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Q. Are these feeling thoughts (emotional reasoning and dustbinlabels)?

Q. Am I setting myself up to fail?

Q. Am I blaming myself for the things that have gone wrong?

Our thoughts have to be realistic. Otherwise we would be foolingourselves into thinking that everything is problem free – and this justisn’t the case.

Remember!

Balanced thinking is not about rationalising your thoughts.

Balanced thinking is not about seeing everything positively.

Balanced thinking is about looking for new information that youmight otherwise overlook.



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Abbie’s story

Abbie becomes very anxious and fearful whenever she goes out of herhouse. She has lots of negative thoughts about what will happen, andthese make her feel very anxious.

Abbie decided to try coping and positive self-talk when she next wentout. Instead of listening to her negative doubts and worries, shedecided to think differently.

Before she went out she used her coping self-talk. Abbie said to

herself, “I’m going to do this today, it will be alright. I have been outbefore and everything was OK. I’m feeling relaxed, I’m in charge and I

want to go out ”.

As Abbie walked down the road, she used her positive self-talk, with

comments such as, “That’s good, I’m halfway there ”, “I knew I could

do it” and “ It’s going OK and I know I’m going to do it ”. Abbie keptrepeating these thoughts to herself until she returned home.

After Abbie arrived home she remembered to congratulate herself

and thought, “Well done, that wasn’t so bad after all ”. She thentreated herself to a long, relaxing bubble bath.



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Activity 1: Jamie’s Day Read through the story of Jamie’s day together. Discuss the good and bad points of his day.

Using a whiteboard, take it in turns to brainstorm the positive andnegative things that happened to him during the day.Did the positive parts of the day make up for the bad points?At the end of his day do you think Jamie would describe the glass asbeing half full or half empty?

Jamie woke up and looked at his clock. He had overslept; it was 8.30am!Hurriedly, he leapt out of bed and threw on his school uniform. He was reallyhungry but didn’t have time to eat breakfast. He grabbed his school bag andlunch and ran out of the door.

Jamie was running so fast along the pavementto school that he tripped over a large crack andwent sprawling. He felt a sharp pain and peereddown at his bleeding knees. Limping, he tried tohurry the rest of the way, but his knees werehurting so much that they slowed him down.The head teacher was walking across the empty

school yard when Jamie arrived at school, andshe shouted at him to hurry up as he was verylate. Jamie felt scared, as he hated gettingtold off by the head teacher, and wondered ifhe would get into trouble.

Mrs Rogers, Jamie’s form tutor, looked up sternly as he burst into theclassroom, but as she noticed his bleeding knees, she looked on more kindly.

She gently sent him off to the school nurse to look at his knees.

When he got back to the classroom, he got out his books for Maths andrummaged in his bag for his pencil case, but realised he had forgotten it. Hedidn’t want to get in any more trouble today. He whispered over to Sarah,and asked if he could borrow a pen for the day. “No”, she replied, “Youshould have brought your own!” Amy leaned over towards him, passed him apen and smiled. “Thank you”, he mouthed back at her, feeling relieved.



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“Right, get your homework out”, his teacher told the class. Jamie looked upin confusion. What homework? He couldn’t remember any homework beingset! Everyone else was pulling their homework out of their bags so Jamiepretended he was too and sat low in his chair, hoping that his teacherwouldn’t notice he didn’t have his with him. Luckily, the teacher quicklymoved on and Jamie felt relieved. He’d just have to catch up on thehomework tonight.

Jamie sat down with his two best friends at lunch time and began chattingaway. He was starving after missing breakfast and opened his lunch boxeagerly, expecting his favourite snacks to be inside. Instead his lunch boxwas full of carrot sticks, salad and some really smelly egg sandwiches. Agroup of girls walked behind where Jamie was sat. “Urrrggghhh, what’s that

stink?” one of the girls said, “I feel sick!” The other girls started sniggering.Jamie went bright red and quickly shut the lunch box lid. He couldn’t be lievehis mum could embarrass him like that! Especially as one of the girls in thegroup, Tina, he had really liked for ages. Now she would just think he was anidiot.

Lunchtime meant football practice, which was Jamie’s favourite part of theday. He was an avid Leeds United fan and loved watching, reading about or

watching football. He pulled on his boots and wandered over to the pitch.“Umm, don’t think you should really be playing Jamie”, the captain said as henoticed Jamie limping slightly. “Please le t me play Steve”, Jamie said, “I’ll befine”. “No, you should sit out today mate,” Steve said, “I need our best teamout there”. Jamie slumped off and sat in the bench. He was gutted , as he’dbeen looking forward to the practice all morning. “Stupid knees” , he thoughtand sat looking glum. Halfway through practice Steve wandered over to thebench. “Go and give it a shot then Jamie, the team’s not as good without you!”and smiled. Jamie jumped up and jogged onto the pitch. He wasn’t going to

let some scratched knees ruin his game! He went on to score the winning goaland the team congratulated him. He felt really good and quite proud ofhimself.

The afternoon’s lessons dragged a bit and Jamie was glad when it was time togo home. He shouted goodbye to his friends and ran out of school.

He jogged all the way home, but slowed down as he reached his street. There

was a big group of older boys huddled together at the corner of the street.



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He crossed the street quickly to try and avoid them and kept his head downso they didn’t spot him.

These boys were well known at school for causing trouble and bullying younger pupils. But it was too late. The oldest boy had spotted Jamie andshouted over to him, “Oi you, what you looking at?” “Nothing, sorry”, Jamiemutter ed and carrying on towards home. “Don’t you walk away from me”,

yelled the boy, “Get over here!” Jamie really didn’t want to but knew thatthis boy, Gary, had a reputation around school and he had heard stories ofhim beating a lot of people up. He reluctantly crossed the road and wanderedtowards the group of boys. They were all stood smoking and laughing, andstaring at Jamie who felt about two feet tall. “Come here runt”, Garylaughed. Jamie approached him and Gary started sniggering. “Where are you

off to?” “Just home”, Jamie muttered. “Come hang out with us”, Gary said,“You don’t want to be going home when you could be having fun with us!” “I’mok thanks, “Jamie said, “My mum’s expecting me”. “Your mummy’s expecting

you?! Mummy’s boy!” laughed Gary and the others joined in. “Have one ofthese”, he said, and threw a cigarette at Jamie. “No thanks”, Jamie said,trying to sound confident, although inside he was really scared. “Just smokeit”, Gary snarled. “I don’t want to”, Jamie said and tried to back aw ay. Garylunged towards him and Jamie thought he was about to hit him. “Leave him

alone Gaz”, piped up one the other boys. “Yeah, don’t bother”, anothermuttered. Gary looked around him at his gang of mates and turned andwalked away. The others followed, and Jamie felt so relieved. One of theboys looked back and winked at him and he smiled back, then wandered home.

Jamie got into his house and found it was empty. His parents must have stillbeen at work. He went upstairs and collapsed down on his bed. “What arubbish day”, he thought, thinking back to being late, cutting his knees,forgetting his homework and pencil case, being embarrassed at lunch, notbeing allowed to play football and then the incident with Gary.

He lay back and thought about not bothering going into school tomorrow.“It’ll save me some hassle”, he thought, “I don’t want to face them all againto morrow”. He turned on his Playstation and began playing to take his mindoff it all. Ten minutes later his phone began vibrating, and he picked it up toread the text. It was Tina! He didn’t even know how she had his number! Shewas apologising for laughing at him at lunchtime, and asked if he wanted to

do something at the weekend. His heart leapt with excitement. He had liked



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Tina for ages but had always been too scared to ask her out. He lay back onhis bed and began texting her back. Maybe he would go to school tomorrowafter all!



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Activity 2: The ThoughtThermometer

Think of a thought you have quite often

How strongly do you believe this thought?

Where would you place this thought on this ThoughtThermometer?

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

I strongly believe it

I believe it fairlystrongly

I believe it a little



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Home Activity: Deal With It!Think of a negative thought that you have quite often.

Consider ideas or people that could help you to cope with thisnegative thought.

My negative thought:

These are 3 things that help me to cope with my negative thought:

These are 3 new ideas of how I can help myself cope with thisnegative thought in the future:

This is how other people could help me:



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The Magic Circle

Think back to the Magic Circle from Session 2. It will help you with

your learning in this session.

How You Feel

Each day you will probably notice yourself having a range of differentfeelings.For example, you could:

Wake up feeling anxious about going to schoolFeel happy on the school bus talking with friendsFeel angry when your friend forgets to bring the CD you wantedto borrowFeel stressed about completing your history homeworkFeel relaxed when watching TV at the end of the day

You will find that:Some of these feelings will last only a short timeOthers will go on and onSome will be so weak that you may not even notice themOthers will be very strong and seem to take over

Our first job is to find out more about the types of feelings that youhave. This is not always easy because:

We are not always very good at identifying our feelingsWe often wrap all our feelings up together under one label

What ou do

What ou think

How oufeel



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Here are some questions it would be helpful to answer about yourfeelings:

Q. What feelings do you have?Q. What feelings are the strongest?Q. Where you are most likely to have these feelings?Q. What thoughts go with these feelings?

What Feelings Do I Have?

Learning to identify your feelings is important, as it may help you tolearn how to control them. For example, breathing exercises may helpwith feelings of anxiety or worry, but not with feelings of sadness.

Three of the strongest and most common unpleasant feelings arestress, unhappiness and anger.

# Stress

When people feel stressed or wound up they notice a number ofdifferent symptoms.

The signs of stress vary from one person to another but may include:

feeling sickbutterflies in the stomachshortness of breathsweatinglegs feeling heavy or like jellygoing red in the facefeeling light-headedfaintingaching muscles

your mind going blankdifficulty in making decisions



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# Unhappiness

Everyone feels unhappy at some time or another, but for some peoplethis feeling takes over their life and they end up feeling verydepressed.

They might find themselves:

regularly tearfulcrying for no clear reason or over small thingswaking up early in the morninghaving difficulty falling asleep at nightfeeling constantly tired and lacking in energycomfort eating or losing their appetite

having difficulty in concentratinglosing interest in things that they used to enjoygoing out less often

Because these feelings produce some very strong physical reactions,people sometimes end up thinking that they are ill or unwell. Thesesymptoms then become the reason why they stop or avoid doing things.

“I’m not sleeping and can’t concentrate , so I have given up my weekend job”.

These physical reactions are very real, but you may not be unwell. Itmay be part of a trap where your negative thoughts create thesesymptoms. If you are unsure or want some reassurance, then checkthis by talking with your doctor.

# Anger

Anger is a very common feeling and can be expressed in manydifferent ways:

shouting, yelling and screamingswearing and threateningthrowing thingsbreaking thingsslamming doorshitting, kicking, fightingwanting to harm oneself



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Feelings and What You Do

Feelings don’t just suddenly happen. There is usually something thattriggers them. If you remember the Magic Circle, then you will

remember that how you feel will be affected by what you do and what you think.

You will have different feelings in different places:

At school you may feel anxiousAt home you may feel relaxedIn town you may feel worried

You will notice different feelings when you engage in differentactivities:

When watching TV you may feel calmWhen talking with people you may feel anxiousWhen doing maths you may feel happyWhen playing sport you may feel tense

You will also notice that you feel different with different people:

With your dad you may feel angryWith your best friend you may feel relaxed and confidentWith your teacher you may feel happyWith your sister you may feel stressed

Feelings and What You Think

The way in which we think causes feelings:If you think that you have no friends, you may feel sadIf you think that you are disliked, you may feel worriedIf you think that you did well with your homework, youmay feel pleased



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Putting it all together

If you put all this together, you will probably start to notice a pattern.

What you do How you feel What you think

Stay at home alone Sad I’ve got no friends

Go out with Jim Happy We always have alaugh together

Go to school Stressed I just can’t keep upwith my work

Go clothes shopping Angry I can never findanything that looksgood on me

Have a bath Relaxed, calm It’s nice lying here

What you do

What ou think

How oufeel

Remember!

How we feel depends on what we do and what we think.

Try to identify the different feelings that you have.

Check whether your strongest feelings are linked toparticular thoughts or what you do.



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Putting Yourself Down

Low self-esteem (or self-opinion) can sometimes lead to all sorts ofproblems with people around you. It can make you feel angry or upsetand also cause you to compare yourself negatively with others. Youmight think other people won’t like you.

One of the healthiest ways to be around others is to feel equal or thesame as others by being your real self – not someone you think theymight like.

Learning to accept yourself can be hard, but one good way to learn is

to work on ways that you put yourself down, so that you are more realaround people.

Feeling Better About Yourself

We all rate ourselves all the time. We are good or bad, a success or afailure, a winner or a loser. Just because we do this all the timedoesn’t make it helpful though.

We need to try to stop giving ourselves overall general ratings all thetime. Things like “ I’m no good at any subject at school,” are labels wegive ourselves that suggest we are no good.

When we label ourselves in this way, we can begin to think quitenegatively (“I’m no good”) and feel down. We might not bother to trythen, and say to ourselv es, “What’s the point, I’m no good at it

anyway!” Then we just feel worse.

Here are some examples of labels: # I’m weak # I’m no good # I’m crazy # I’m useless # I’m bad # I’m stupid # I’m pathetic # I’m a failure # I’m disgusting # I’m a loser # I don’t matter # I’m worthless



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Here are some ideas of how to deal with your labels:Try not to use them! Every time you refuse to use them (inside yourhead or out loud) you are improving.If you use them, make yourself keep count – put 5p in a jar, or keep

a note in your diary or on a chart. This will show you how often youuse them and remind you to stop.Instead of using general labels (“ I’m no good”) just focus on whatpart of you or wha t you do (or don’t do) that you aren’t happy with. Try replacing these ‘general’ labels for ones that are moreaccurate:

Unhelpful labels Different, more helpful ideas

I’m weak I have strengths and weaknessesI’m no good I have some really good qualitiesI’m a failure I’m normal so I get things wrong and I get

things rightI’m stupid I can do stupid things sometimes but that

doesn’t mean I’m stupid



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Situation 2

You see your brother stealing a video game from a shop. He tells younot to tell your parents and says he’ll lend you the game if you keepquiet.

Q. What do you think ?

Q. How do you feel ?

Q. What would you do?



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Situation 3

You see some older boys picking on a younger pupil at school. They are

being aggressive and the smaller child looks really scared.






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Situation 4

You are sat eating lunch with your friend when she starts sayingunkind things about another girl in your class. The other girl hasn’tdone anything to upset your friend.






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Situation 5

Your friend tells you that they are having a horrible time at home andthat their parents are always shouting at them for no reason. Theyare thinking of running away from home.






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Activity 2: Find the Feeling!

Checklist

Afraid Depressed Mad

Amazed Excited Nervous

Angry Frightened Relaxed

Ashamed Glad Sad

Cheerful Grumpy Scared

Confident Happy Tense

Confused Hurt Unhappy

Content Insecure Worried



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Home Activity: How Do YouFeel?

Here is a list of situations that you are sometimes in.Think about how you feel when you are in these situations.Look at the list of words at the bottom of the page.Do any of these feelings match up to the situations for you?Write them in the thought bubbles.

You can add your own feelings that aren’t included in the list too

Feelings

Happy Angry ExcitedSad Frightened LonelyBored Frustrated GuiltyRelaxed Upset Confused

At schoolSharing my

feelings

With my mumor dad

Doing myfavourite hobby

With my friends



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Activity 1: Hey… Relax!Here a few short exercises you can try to help you relax if youfeel tense or stressed.

Concentrate on your muscles and especially the ones that seemthe most tense.

These exercises are easy enough for you to be able to do yourself at home!

The more you practice, the better and faster you will become atrelaxing.

Arms and hands

Clench your fists and push your arms straight out in front of you.

Legs and feet

Push your toes downwards, gently raise your legs and stretch them out infront of you.

Stomach

Push out your tummy muscles, take a breath and hold it.



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Shoulders

Scrunch up your shoulders

Neck

Push your head back against the chair or bed.

Face

Screw up your face, squeeze your eyes tight and push your lips together.

Sometimes people think about images that make them feel soothed – forexample the waves on a beach, a babbling brook, the sun on your face. Whatkind of images can you conjure up to feel more calm and relaxed>



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Activity 2: Feeling FootstepsThe Feeling Footsteps diagram helps you to plot out the steps that

you take up to a certain point

It could plot a time when you are angry, upset or experienceanother feelingYou should plot your thoughts, feelings and behavioursPlotting each step will help you to realise how this feeling builds upand can lead to a behaviour that you don’t want to reach You will then be able to work to help stop this build up of feelingsand to remain calmer and more in controlThere may only be a couple of steps or there may be many

Here is an example of thefeeling footsteps for you:

Step 1:

“You’re trying to wind me up”

Step 3:

Seems like a dream

Step 4:

Clench fists, grit, angry

face threaten

Step 5:

Swear, red face, mind blank

Step 6:

Hit them

Step 2:

“Stop it” and “I’m going to hit you”Feels hot and starts to sweat



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Feeling Footsteps

Here is a blank diagram of the Feeling Footsteps for you to fill in

It can be from an experience of feeling angry, upset or another feeling

Try to include your thoughts, feelings and behaviours at each step



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Home activity: Time To Relax…

Think about what helps you to relax when you are feeling angry,tense or stressed.

Note down these ideas in the thought bubbles.Then jot down some ideas of things you are going to try in thefuture to help you to relax.

Things that help me relax:

Things that I will try inthe future to help merelax:



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The ABC of Why We Do What We DoTo help you understand how the things you do (or don’t do) are linkedto the way you think and feel about situations or events, we use a

simple A B C .

Something that reallyhappens to you, forexample you fail atest.

Or something youthink might happen,like not being invitedto a party.

When the eventhappens your beliefsor thoughts about theevent will lead to youfeeling or behaving theway you do as a result .

Your thoughts,feelings andbehaviours that comeafter the event.

So if you think youwon’t be invited to theparty, you would feelupset and angry andthen not speak to yourfriend.

A- Activating EventA- Activating Event B- Beliefs C-Conse uences



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ABC ExamplesTo help you understand A B C better, here are 2 examples of events,

one real and one imaginary.

A- Activating Event B- Beliefs C-Conse uences

External (Real)

You fail an exam

“I’m a totalidiot”

“I should nothave failed”

“I’ll never passanything”

Feelings:

You feel angry, upsetand sad

Behaviours:

You decide not tobother revising forother exams

Internal (Imaginary)

You think you will notbe invited to a friends’party and you worryabout being left out

I’m not popularbecause if Iwas I would beinvited

If everyoneelse goes butme I will lookstupid

Nobody likesme

Feelings:

You feel worried,upset and lonely

Behaviours:

You avoid your friendsbecause you thinkthey w on’t like you



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The ABC ApproachHere is a summary of how the A B C problem approach works:

A You fail an exam at school

B You believe that:

“I should have done better and have failed toget the mark I wanted “

C You tell yourself:

“I am a failure.” You feel sad and upset so youdecide not to revise for future exams.

A You imagine that you will not be invited to

the party

B You believe that:

“I am unpopular and nobody likes me”

C You tell yourself:

“I am a loser.” You feel upset and lonely so youavoid seeing your friends.



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Activity 1: Your Own ABC Examples

Learning to write down and organise the separate parts of a problemwill help you to understand and control what you do as a result. Write below or on a piece of paper, examples of two events that havehad an effect on you recently. Think about one external event(something real that has happened to you), and one internal event(something you imagined might happen to you).

External (Real)

________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________

Internal (Imaginary)

________________ ________________

________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________

_________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________

_________________ _________________ _________________ _________________

_________________ _________________ _________________ _________________

_________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________ _________________

Feelings__________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ Behaviours________

________________

________________ ________________ ________________ ________________

Feelings__________ ________________ ________________ ________________

________________ Behaviours________

________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________ ________________

A- Activating EventB- Beliefs C-Conse uences



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Activity 2: What Did I Do?Pick one or more of the scenarios that you have experienced.Describe what you did, and then how that made you feel.

Scenario 1

Your friends pressuredyou into doing something

you didn’t want to.

How did you feel after you did

that?

What did you do?

Is your reaction

good or bad?

If you reactedbadly, did youfeel worse?

Do you see a linkbetween reactingwell and feeling

better?



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Scenario 2 Your parents kept

shouting at you for noa arent reason.

How did you feel after you did

that?

What did you do?

Is your reactiongood or bad?


Do you see a linkbetween reacting welland feeling better?



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Session 7: Why Do We Do What We Do?

Scenario 3 You were teased a lot

when you were

younger.

How did you feel after you didthat?

What did you do?






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Scenario 4 You fell out with your best friend after a silly

argument.

How did you feel after you didthat?

What did you do?






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Home Activity: Your ActionsThink about the things you do when you are happy, scared andupset.

Draw or write these actions in the boxes.

What do I do when I am happy?

What do I do when I am scared?

What do I do when I am upset?



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Changing Your BehaviourWe have discovered that sometimes we have negative and unhelpfulthoughts. We think that things will be difficult. We expect and

predict the worse. Sometimes it is hard to see anything positive. Wehave come to understand that these thoughts may make us feeluncomfortable.

We may try to make ourselves better by:Avoiding situations that we think will be difficultWithdrawing and staying where we feel safeStopping doing things that might make us feel unpleasant

This may bring some immediate relief, but over time you will probablyfeel worse. As you do less you may find yourself feeling more and moredown. Anything new needs an even greater effort, and it becomesharder to tackle any new challenges. Strong unpleasant feelings floodback as you feel cross and disappointed with yourself.

And so it goes on....and on...

and on...

An important way of breaking out of this trap is to become moreactive and take control. Push yourself to do things. As you becomebusier you will notice a number of benefits.

You feel betterBecoming more active means that you have less time to notice anyunpleasant feelings or to listen to any negative thoughts. You will startto feel better.

You feel more in controlYou start to regain control of your life and do the things that youwant to do



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You feel less tiredDoing nothing is very tiring! You will feel very lethargic and exhausted.Although it sounds silly, the more active you become, the less tired

you feel.

You want to do moreThe hardest thing is to get started. Once you become active you willwant to do more. Quite simply, the more you do, the more you feellike doing.

Your thinking becomes clearerDoing nothing makes you feel sluggish both mentally and physically.Activity sharpens up your thinking.

Increase Fun Activities

The first and hardest job is to get going again. A useful way to do

this is to increase your enjoyable activities. Set yourself targets toincrease the number of enjoyable activities that you do each day orweek.

Make a list of the things you enjoy/want to do and those activitiesthat you used to enjoy and have now stopped.

These can be any activities at all, and remember that they don’t haveto cost money.

They could be:Social activities – talking to a friend, having someone round forteaOutdoor activities – going for a walk, swimming, shoppingIndoor activities – listening to music, watching a video, reading abook, drawing, playing video games



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From your list choose the activity that you would most like to do.Choose a day, set a time and do it! Gradually build more and moreenjoyable activities into your life.

Map How You Feel and What You Do

There will probably be certain times of the day/week when you aremore likely to notice strong pleasant or unpleasant feelings. It may beuseful to tune into these and find out whether there are any patternsor particular difficult times.

A useful way of doing this is to keep a diary:Write down what you are doing and how you feel each hour. Use theFeeling Thermometer to rate how strong your feelings are.At the end of the week, look at the diary and see if there are anyparticularly good/bad times and whether any activity made you feelbetter/worse.

If you find a link between certain activities and strong feelings, thentry planning your time differently. Where possible, try to do more ofthose activities that make you feel good and less of those that make

you feel bad.

Small Steps

Sometimes starting an activity might seem too large a step to tackleall in one go:

At these times it might be useful to break down the task intosmaller stepsEach smaller step feels more manageableThis increases the chances of success, and each step will move

you closer to your target

The following case study shows how Jenny used this technique.



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Jenny’s Swimming

Jenny liked swimming, but over the past six

months she had become down-hearted andunhappy and had not been swimming at all.She listed all of the activities that shewanted to start again, and chose swimmingwith her friend Susie as her number onechoice. Although she wanted to do it, thethought of going swimming with Susieseemed an enormous challenge. Jenny

decided to break this task down into thefollowing smaller steps which she felt shecould handle.

1. Go to the swimming baths and find out about opening times andcosts.

2. Go on her own late one evening for a short 10-minute swim.

3. Go on her own late one evening for a 30-minute swim.

4. Go swimming on her own one morning (when it was busier) for30 minutes.

5. Go swimming with Susan one morning for 30 minutes.

Breaking the task down into smaller steps made it easier for Jenny tobe successful.



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Face Your Fears

Breaking tasks down into smaller steps is helpful, but you may still putoff doing them because you feel too anxious. Anxious feelings oftenstop us doing the things we would really like to do. However, by notdoing them we then have to cope with other unpleasant feelings suchas sadness and anger.

You might feel very frightened about going to school, but stayingat home might make you feel sad.

You might feel scared about going out with your friends, butstaying in on your own might make you feel angry.

At these times it can be useful to face your fears and learn toovercome them.You can do this by going through the following steps:

1. Use small steps to break down your challenge into smaller tasks.

2. Think about coping self-talk and practice using it.

3. Relax and imagine yourself successfully coping with your firsttask.

4. Test it out, one task at a time.

5. Praise yourself for being successful.



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Activity 1: Stepping StonesWhat is your task or challenge?

________________________________________________________

Break this down into smaller steps that will be easier to manage.Look at all the steps and number them in order of difficulty.

You can now begin with the easiest step.Once you have achieved it you can move onto the next, and so onuntil all of the steps are completed!You will realise that breaking down challenges into smaller stepsmakes them easier to achieve.



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Activity 2: It’s All About Me! Write your name in the star.Pass the piece of paper round the group.

Each person will write one positive comment about the namedperson – it can be about anything to do with them!

When the piece of paper comes back to you, read the commentsthat have been written.How did you feel when you read the positive things that people hadto say about you?Hopefully they will make you feel good about yourself, and you willremember that positive activities will result in you having positivefeelings, and also that it’s always nice to compliment someone!



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Home Activity 1:My Activity Diary

Keep a diary for 3 days of things you have done and how you have felt. You can use the Feeling Thermometer to rate how strong thesefeelings are.Can you see any patterns between what you do and how you feel?

Day 1

Time Activity Feeling How strongare my

feelings?7.00 am

8.00 am

9.00 am

10.00 am

11.00 am

12.00 pm

1.00 pm



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2.00 pm

3.00 pm

4.00 pm

5.00 pm

6.00 pm

7.00 pm

8.00 pm

9.00 pm

10.00 pm

11.00 pm



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My Activity Diary

Day 2


feelings?7.00 am

8.00 am

9.00 am

10.00 am

11.00 am

12.00 pm

1.00 pm

2.00 pm



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3.00 pm

4.00 pm

5.00 pm

6.00 pm

7.00 pm

8.00 pm

9.00 pm

10.00 pm

11.00 pm



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My Activity Diary

Day 3


feelings?

7.00 am

8.00 am

9.00 am

10.00 am

11.00 am

12.00 pm

1.00 pm

2.00 pm



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3.00 pm

4.00 pm

5.00 pm

6.00 pm

7.00 pm

8.00 pm

9.00 pm

10.00 pm

11.00 pm



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Home Activity 2:The Feeling Thermometer

How strong are your feelings?How would you rate your feelings on this Feeling Thermometer?

109

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

Very strong

Fairly strongly

Quite weak



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Learning to Solve Problems

Each day brings a new set of problems and challenges.

For example:dealing with being unfairly told off by a teachertrying to stay in your seat at schoolcoping with teasing by an annoying brother or sisternegotiating with your parents about staying out late

When we encounter a problem we have to think about the differentways in which we could deal with it and then make a decision about

what we will do or say. Sometimes we make the right choice, while atother times we seem to get it wrong. There will always be times whenthis happens, but some people seem to make more wrong choices orfind it harder to solve problems than others. When this happens it isuseful to think about how you are dealing with your problems andwhether you could try to solve them in different ways.

Why Do Problems Happen?

There are many reasons why we are unable to solve our problemssuccessfully. Some of these reasons are quite common:

Acting Without Thinking

Decisions and choices are sometimes made too quickly. You mayrush into something without really thinking through what willhappen.

Nick’s problem Nick heard his dad say that he had left the shopping in the car.Wanting to be helpful, Nick rushed out and carried all the bags fromthe back seat of the car into the house. He didn’t check with his



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parents, but if he had he would have found out that their shopping wasin the car boot. The bags he brought in were for a party his dad wasorganising at work.

Sabrina’s problem Sabrina heard her teacher’ s instructions to copy her work into herbook, and she immediately picked up her pen and started.Unfortunately, she didn’t hear the next instruction, which told her touse a pencil and to start her work on a new page.

Nick and Sabrina were both trying to be helpful, but in their rush theycreated more problems for themselves.

Feelings Take Over

Strong feelings like anger or anxiety sometimes take over andprevent us from thinking problems through and making the rightchoices about what we do or say.

Mike’s problem Mike became very angry when he was tackled during a game offootball, and he kicked the other player. The referee sent Mike offthe pitch.

Jenny’s problem Jenny didn’t understand her schoolwork, but was really worried aboutasking her teac her for help. She didn’t ask, she got her homeworkwrong and she had to stay behind after school and do it again.

Mike knew that if he kicked someone he would be sent off. Jennyknew that if she got her homework wrong she would have to do itagain. At the time Mike and Jenny were not able to think about theconsequences of their behaviour. Strong feelings took over andprevented them from thinking these situations through.



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Can’t see any other solution ?

The third reason why we can’t solve problems is because we justcan’t think of another way of doing things. We become veryfixed in our ideas and can’t see any other solutions.

Learn To Stop and Think

It is useful to learn a way of dealing with problems which ensures that you don’t rush in with the first thing that comes into your head. Ahelpful approach is the Stop, Think and Go traffic light system:

Red Stop and consider your problem

Amber Think about what you do or say

Green Go with your plan

The first step is often the hardest, and sometimes you may find ithard to stop yourself from rushing in. Practise imagining a picture of

some traffic lights and as you see the red light think to yourself,stop . As the light comes on, take a few deep breaths. This may help

you to calm down and slow down enough to let you plan and think about

what you want to do, and go with your plan. The more you practice, theeasier it will become.

Identify Different SolutionsSometimes we meet the same problem or challenge every day butoften end up making the wrong decision over and over again. When thishappens, it is useful to stop and think about all of the different waysin which you can deal with this problem.

Try using the ‘or’ method to find as many possible solutions as you can.Another way of doing this is to take a sheet of paper and write down



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all of the possible solutions you can think of in two minutes. The ideais to get as many ideas as you can, so don’t worry if some of themseem unrealistic or silly.

Billy’s Problem Billy felt that his friends often ignored him, so he came up with a listof solutions to find ways in which he could get his friends to listen tohim.

I could…talk louder

shoutstand in front of their faces so that they would have to listento mekeep repeating myselftalk with one person rather than all the groupfind things to talk about that really interested themfind a new group of friends

For Billy, the idea of shouting all the time seemed silly, and changinghis group of friends was not really possible. Some of the other ideashe came up with were more useful. Billy decided that he needed tolisten more carefully to the things that really interested his friends.He also decided that he would try to talk more with people on theirown, rather than trying to join in with the group discussions.

If you find it hard to think of any different ways of dealing with yourproblems then it may be useful to talk this over with someone else.Ask how they would deal with your problem, and see if they cansuggest some different ideas.



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Think Through The Consequences

Once you have made a list of possible solutions, the next step is towork out which is the best one. Think about the positive and negativeconsequences of each idea and then choose the one that you think, onbalance, will work best.

This involves five steps:

1. What is my problem?

2. How could I deal with this problem?

3. What are the positive consequences of each solution?

4. What are the negative consequences of each solution?

5. On balance, what is the best solution?

Mandy’s Problem

Three girls at school have started to tease Mandy and call her namesat break time. On the first day, Mandy became very angry and chasedafter the girls. On the second day, she hit one of the girls and endedup in trouble in front of the head teacher. On the third day, she calledthe girls names back, but this seemed to make the name-calling worse.Mandy decided to sit down and work out how she would cope with thisproblem.



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Talk Yourself Through it

Another useful way of learning to solve problems is to ask someonewho is successful to talk to you through what they do:

Ask them to tell you what they doWatch them doing itThen talk yourself through the problem

This can be very helpful for those problems that seem to occur fairlyoften.

Michael’s Problem

Michael felt very worried when he met his friends because he oftendid not know what to talk about. His friend Rob was very popular andalways seemed to know what to say, so Michael asked for his help. Robsaid that when he arrived at school each morning he would go up to hisgroup of friends, say hello and talk about something that had been ontelevision last night, such as a sports match or the latest episode of

their favourite TV soap. Rob went to school with Michael the next dayand as they arrived Rob talked aloud about what he was going to do asMichael watched. The next day, when Michael arrived at school hetalked aloud about what he was going to do, “I’m going to walk acrossthe playground, go up to Max and Ed, say hello and ask if they saw thegame last night”. Michael did this and was pleased to find that he wassoon chatting with his friends. The next day he talked himself throughit again, and after a few times Michael found that he was now doingthis without thinking.



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Activity 1: Stop, Think, Go!The traffic lights below will help you to deal with a problem youmay have.

Follow the 3 steps – stop, think and go!Planning this out means that next time the problem occurs youshould be ready to try out your new solution, which shouldhopefully help to deal with it!

STOPWhat is your problem?

THINKWhat is your solution?

GO!When will you try it out?



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Activity 2:Talking To YourselfSometimes you have a problem that happens again and again.It can help to talk to or watch how someone else copes, and

then to try out the ideas yourself.You can then make a plan to hopefully help you deal with thisproblem

What is my problem?

Who could I talk it through with who has had the same problem?

How do they deal with this problem?

Which part of their plan can I use and when can I test them out?

How did it go?



Session 9

89

Home Activity: Problem SolvingWrite down a particular problem that you may have – it can beanything.

Then think of all the possible solutions you can to solve thisproblem or to make it easier.

My problem is…



Session 10

90

Personal ChecklistShade in the boxes to show how much each of these statements istrue for you.

I have a strong senseof who I am

I am very aware ofhow I behave indifferent waysaccording to thesituation I am in

I have a goodunderstanding of howdifferentrelationships work

I am able to beindependent andself-reliant

I am able to be in arelationship withoutfeeling swamped oroverwhelmed by theother person

I can usually seethings from otherpeople’s perspectives

I am usually realisticabout how I thinkothers view me

I am respectful andtolerant of otherpeople’s views

I understand myemotions and why Ifeel the way I do indifferent situations

I feel in control ofhow I express myemotions

I am able todistinguish myfeelings from thoseof others

I am able toacknowledge my ownstrengths

I believe that I am alikeable andworthwhile person

I recognise areasthat I find difficultand may want to workon

I can acceptconstructive criticismfrom others

I am assertive in theway that I deal withunjustified criticismfrom others

I can tolerate myown mistakes

I like and respectmyself

I feel OK about myphysical appearance

I take good care ofmyself

I know how to relaxand enjoy myself

I am self-motivated.I tend not to worrytoo much whatothers might think ofme

I am able to adjustmy actions, feelingsand thoughtsaccording to realisticassessments of myprogress

I believe that I havemastery over my life

I enjoy newchallenges

I believe that I letother people see whoI really am throughmy words and actions

I am usually able tolisten well to whatothers have to say

I enjoy talking tonew people

I consider myself tobe a creative person

I believe that myoptions, thoughts andactions have value

I am confidentenough in my ownabilities to be able totry different ways ofsolving problems

I am generallyoptimistic

I tend not to dwellon past events orworry about thefuture

I regularly setmyself realistic yetchallenging goals

I cope well withunexpected events

I believe that I amcapable of fulfillingmy potential



Session 10

91

Rosenberg Self Esteem Scale (SES)

Please read the following statements and shade the box that bestdescribes how much you agree or disagree with each one

StronglyAgree

Agree Disagree StronglyDisagree

On the whole, I am satisfied withmyself

3 2 1 0

At times, I think I am no goodat all

0 1 2 3

I feel that I have a number ofgood qualities

3 2 1 0

I am able to do things as well asmost other people

3 2 1 0

I feel I do not have much to beproud of

0 1 2 3

I feel useless at times 0 1 2 3

I feel that I should be valuedand I am equal to others

3 2 1 0

I wish I could have morerespect for myself

0 1 2 3

I often think I am a failure 0 1 2 3

I take a positive attitudetoward myself

Add up the total number of points in the shaded boxes to get your

final score:



Session 10

92

My House

Roof of Rules(what rules do I believe?)

1.

2.

3.

Chimney of Fears(what do I worry about?)

1.

2.

3.


1.


3.


2.

Sensation Smoke (how do I feel?)

Yellow Brick Road(my early experiences)

Doorbell(my trigger)

Behaviour Birds(how do I act?)



Session 10

Thinksmart Evaluation Form

Name:_______________ Date:______

For each of the following questions please put a tick in the boxes below:

Have you had fun in the group?Not at all A little bit A lot Loads

Has being in the group helped you get on better with others?Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

Has being in the group helped you feel more confident?Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

Has being in the group given you new experiences?Not at all A little bit A lot Loads

Do you think that the group had helped you feel better about yourself?

Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

Has being in the group helped you with your worries?Not at all A little bit A lot Very much

What would you tell other people about the Thinksmart group?Load of rubbish They were ok Very good Brilliant

thinksmart learner workbook

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