the three pillars in marriage

The Three Pillars in Marriage

The letter ‘C’ is pronounced as SEE. I look at the ‘SEE’ in marriage as an acronym ‘S.E.E’. In marriage you either: S-uffer or E-ndure or E-njoy

We have to enter into marriage as a Covenant and take marriage as Companionship and lastly as a Commitment.

Kigume KaruriTuesday, December 5, 2017 1

• We must be careful in marriage. Without handling marriage well, we hurt each other and the emotional hurt can last a life time. Marriage is the most fertile ground for conflicts.

• We must adhere to the covenant and take our rightful roles as companions and be committed to the marriage.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017 Kigume Karuri 2

Marriage as a Covenant

Pro. 2:16-17

• 16 To deliver you from the immoral woman,From the seductress who flatters with her words,17 Who forsakes the companion of her youth,And forgets the covenant of her God.

• Marriage is a covenant that needs to be kept before God.


• Our marriage vows are a covenant; it is a solemn oath made by a husband and wife to each other and to God.

• Our God is a covenant maker and keeper.God chose the covenant as His way of relating to people. The covenant is the most sacred of all pledges and promises.


• The first marriage covenant was achieved when God united Adam and Eve in the first wedding.

• Later Jesus expressed the importance of the marriage covenant when He said,


• “Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’” Then Jesus added, “Consequently they are no more two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:4–6).


• Many modern couples consider their vows more of a contract than a covenant. A contract has an end date. A covenant is permanent.

• A contract usually specifies a part of a person’s property or services. A covenant involves a person’s total being, which in marriage means a commitment that extends beyond performance, health issues, and financial prosperity to a promise of lifelong fidelity.


• Many spouses made such a covenant when they married. They pledged to love each other “in sickness and in health” … “in poverty and in wealth” … “till death do us part … so help me God.” They may not have really understood the importance of what they were saying.


• By making the marriage covenant a part of a wedding ceremony, we highlight the fact that God has brought this couple together, and they consider these vows to be permanent.

• Renewed devotion to the marriage covenant could become a significant factor in helping countless couples stick to their vows and achieve the satisfaction and joy of a lasting marriage.


Marriage as Companionship• Malachi 2:14-15New King James Version

(NKJV)

• 14 Yet you say, “For what reason?”Because the LORD has been witnessBetween you and the wife of your youth,With whom you have dealt treacherously;Yet she is your companionAnd your wife by covenant.


• 15 But did He not make them one,Having a remnant of the Spirit?And why one?He seeks godly offspring.Therefore take heed to your spirit,And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.


• Good companions enjoy spending time together. Spouses should be able to look forward to the next time they will be together, rather than dreading it. Time spent enjoyably together builds and strengthens the marital relationship. Conversely, the lack of companionship in a marriage can produce deep loneliness in both spouses.


• One important benefit of marriage and family life that is worth emphasizing and discussing is the provision of companionship in our romantic and other relationships. We may also call it fellowship, which in essence, is the fruit of true companionship.


• Companionship quickly brings to mind the idea of company, assistance, group activity, friendship, intimacy, conversation, sharing , interaction, and brotherly love.

• Continual interaction is therefore necessary to make companionship meaningful for all forms of relationships.


• A MAN WHO WILL NOT OR CANNOT PLAN AND GIVE QUALITY TIME AND GOOD COMPANIONSHIP TO HIS

WIFE, CANNOT FULLY SATISFY HER WITH ANY MONEY OR MATERIAL THINGS, OR MAKE HER HAPPY THROUGH

OTHER MEANS.


• Both men and women need companionship for their common as well as their different needs. However, it is the woman who rather comes into the life of a man to become his companion.


• It is the man who searches for a companion, and makes the move to propose and ask a woman to become his special companion because he cannot do it all by himself and accomplish his destiny. THE MAN IS THEREFORE THE LEADER OF COMPANIONSHIP IN THE MARRIAGE, HOME, AND FAMILY.


• Companionship in Your Marriage

• A. Deepens your happiness. Your blessings multiply when you share them with a spouse you care about.

• B. Strengthens your marriage. Your marriage may be the most important and enduring relationship in your life. Keep it alive and growing.


• C. Enjoy your golden years. Companionship may take on even greater value later in life.

• D. Be a good friend to your spouse. Work at your relationship instead of taking it for granted. You’ll be rewarded with more love and a closer connection.


Marriage as Commitment

• Proverbs 5:15-20King James Version (KJV)

• 15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

• 16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.

• 17 Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.


• 18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

• 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

• 20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?


• COMMITMENT is about unity, faithfulness, monogamy, friendship, affection, love, respect and many other beautiful attributes that are absolutely priceless.

• The idea of commitment is often associated with relationships. There seems to be a loss of commitment among couples because they are more apt to seek divorce as a solution for marital conflict.


• COMMIT YOURSELF TO:

• 1. Love your spouse because you need each other, and commit yourself to build your spouse up, not tear him/her down in your relationship.

• 2. Open up to your spouse without fear of being attacked, and you will not attack your spouse, even though you may not agree. Also, casting up the past will not become a part of your discussion. That is past and gone.


• 3. Allow your spouse to explain to you your perception of things, and then you allow him/her to do the same to you. Then together you shall seek resolution to the issue, without attacking each other, and with a willingness to compromise.


• 4. Pray for and with your spouse to give all of you wisdom for resolution of your situation, in a way that the conclusion to which you come is that with which both can live.

• 5. Being open with your spouse in : Trusting, Trustworthy, Truthful, Honest, Encouraging, Helpful, Wholeheartedly accepting of him/her, and to continually affirm your love for him/her, and need of him/her


• In marriage, there is need for binding commitment to each other, to love each other and to remain together until one dies.


• Commitment matters.

• It means something.

• It means that you made a decision to work through marriage and that you are not going anywhere.

• It means that you can be counted on.

• It means that you will do whatever it takes to maintain a strong relationship and a happy marriage.


• Marriage is an investment of love, affection, respect and trust.

• It is an experience that creates profound joy, security and belonging that will last a lifetime for those who honor their commitment to each other no matter what.

•


S.E.E.

• Don’t SUFFER in your marriage

• Don’t ENDURE your marriage

• But ENJOY your marriage through the three pillars called 3’C’s: COVENANT, COMPANIONSHIP and COMMITMENT.


the three pillars in marriage

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