The Struggle to Juggle: Pandemic Parenting Survival Guide For

Working Parents

Dr. Rebecca Pillai Riddell, C.Psych.

Associate Vice-President Research

Director, OUCH Laboratory

York University

Birth - Make the Connection

Toddlerhood -Make the Connection &

Parenting for Life

School years –Kids Have Stress Too!

Adolescence –Stress Lessons

Adults - Stress Strategies

The Psychology Foundation of CanadaOur Mission: Nurturing Resilience in Children and Youth

Practical, evidence-based programs spanning critical development stages

KHST! and Stress Lessons programs are evidence-based programs that are youth-centred and inquiry-based to teach tangible stress-management strategies and skills and build emotional resiliency in children and youth, both in and out of the classroom.

You will learn how to help children and youth:

• recognize the signs and symptoms of stress

• understand what stress feels like

• develop/implement coping and problem-solving strategies

• foster an increased sense of well-being

Kids Have Stress Too!® and Stress

Lessons

Dr. Rebecca Pillai Riddell is a registered clinical psychologist and scientist who uses simple language and humour to help ensure scientific evidence gets into the hands of everyone who can use it! She spends her days as Associate Vice-President Research at York University and is the Director of the Opportunities to Understand Childhood Hurt Lab or OUCH LAB- a lab dedicated to better understanding how caregivers influence young children’s pain responses in medical settings.

My Professional

Life

My

Professional

Life taking

into account

being a

Mother

My Professional

Life taking into

account being a

Mother during

COVID-19

Pandemic

We are being asked to make the impossible possible

In the context of widespread stress, relentless pandemic media coverage, fear, economic challenge and even apathy, parents are asked to achieve:

• Full-time work PLUS

• Full-time caregiving PLUS

• Added pandemic life responsibilities

• Women may be paying a higher career price to keep families afloat.

KEEPING YOUR BALLS IN THE AIR

HARNESSING YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL STRENGTHS

REAL STRESSORS

Yerkes & Dodson, 1908; Broadhurst, 1957, Lupien et

al., 2007

FOLDING LAUNDRY, DELETING JUNK EMAILS

ANYTHING INVOLVING GETTING CHILDREN TO DO ANYTHING

REAL BARRIERS

CAREGIVING IN A

PANDEMIC FACT

The more a child needs

you, the less you can do

Hierarchy of Needs, Maslow, 1943

Stressors are

typically:

• Novel

• Unpredictable

• Uncontrollable

The very definition

of our pandemic!

Our cups runneth over…

SO…YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU CAN DO!

You can’t control the stressors but you can control your stress!

ALL OR NOTHING THOUGHT

I have children at home with no daycamps

during a pandemic therefore I cannot make

any research progress

I feel stressed,

depressed, guilty, angry

and low energy leading

to feeling low self-

esteem and self-

efficacy

I lay on the couch, eat junk

food that feels oh so good

and binge Netflix.

Watson, Ellis, Beck, Ellis, Meichenbaum

REAL SOLUTION

I have young children at home with

no daycare during a pandemic

therefore I accept a smaller

number of ‘have to do’s’

I feel less

stressed and

have more

energy

I take big tasks,

break them into smaller

tasks and I do them

Beck, Burns

REAL SOLUTION-2

FOCUS ONWHAT YOU

CAN DO

Harnessing my Psychological Strength for Parenting

• Kids ‘lower level’ needs come first, no matter what (food, safety, love)

• Weekday packed lunches to avoid messes and keep nutrition up

• Prioritizing aspects of kid progress (e.g. French over math)

• Forgiveness through acceptance

• CBT Therapy

• Asking more of my kids (housework, waiting for our lunch dates)

Becca’s Daily M.E.S.S.• MOVE

• Elliptical• Walking around my house during meetings/Standing

• EAT• Maintaining condition-related diet• I like junk food so I make room for it• Ordering fruits and veg I like due to ease of online ordering

• SLEEP• Getting my sleep needs met• Setting bedtime alarm • Ban screens in the bedroom

• STRESS• Online CBT Therapist• Pandemic positives• Daily, Weekly, and Monthly Shut downs• “Friend” time

Pillai Riddell, 2020

https://www.who.int/campaigns/connecting-the-world-

to-combat-coronavirus/healthyathome/healthyathome---

healthy-parenting

https://who.canto.global/s/OMTT2?viewIndex=0

GOOGLE: Pandemic Parenting WHO

Pandemic

Parenting Support

World Health

Organization

The Pandemic Stressors are Very, Very Real but the STRESS you experience can be controlled…

No one can de-pandemic your life

YOU have the power to change how the

pandemic makes you think, act, and feel

about your life.

Acceptance is key, better parenting will

follow

Breathe