the saint cedric news

7/30/2019 The Saint Cedric News

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Saturday, December 29, 2012 Volume II, Issue III

I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay smallacts of kindness and love.

-Gandalf-

WEST JORDAN, UTAh. The familiarbeginning to another enthralling issue ofthe Saint Cedric News, only this time theauthor is situated comfortably at homeinstead of in the rain abroad, in front of afireplace instead of behind a desk, and withan advanced Mobile Computationalmachine instead of a typewriter on his lap.Still, the typewriter font makes me feel alittle more at home, and thus I use it as Iwrite and design this much less crude albeitjust as enjoyable issue of the Saint CedricNews.

Some of you readers already knowwhat this is all about. Some of you dont.For the sake of the latter group, let meexplain:

When I was just a wee lad of perhapseleven years old, something inside of mebegan to burnsome deep yearning forsomething bigger and greater and morecommunicative. Perhaps it was my great-

great grandfather,Robert Aveson, whosewriting and

publishing careerstretched the spanof decades in 19thcentury Englandand Utah, who

spectrallywhispered thethought into my

heart that I ought tocompose some piece of

journalistic literature. Nowthat I look back on it, I think the idea wasless about writing something worth readingand more about practicing, even in the eye

of the public (meaning family, friendsteachers, and even a fellow living inJapan). This became the Saint Cedric NewsAbout a decade later and some years afterthe original run of the self-run newspaperwas discontinued, I felt impressed to beginwriting a sort of a personal newsletteragain to friends and family outlining someof the highlights of my missionary servicein Arizona. It was a joyful experiencetyping away on my 1980s Olympus ReportDe Luxe about the many adventures andspiritual journeys I had there.

For the bulk of those two years Ipresumed that I would write Issue the Lastthe week after I arrived home from Arizonaand bid adieu to the series, but now I findthat I enjoy publishing it much too muchMany people mass-produce emails orletters or, at the very least, cute familiaChristmas photographs sporting snow andred sweaters, and, especially since mypersonal blog still isnt too extremelypersonal, I do think that I shall continuethe Saint Cedric News indefinitely and thatit will take the place of my red sweater.

Now, on with business.I did actually write one last issue of

the Saint Cedric News before leaving dearold Arizona (old?! The other statesexcepting Alaska and Hawaii cry. Shes thethird youngest of us all!), but Im afraid Ijust did not have enough time to apply thefinishing touches and print the doubledozen copies that were necessary. PerhapsI will make it available to the public oneday. It will probably have its own Wikipediapage: The Lost Issue of Saint Cedric Newssee also Jordan Spencer Cunningham

Saint edric News


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(author, literary genius, nerd, happy

person, &tc).Those last few days in Chandler are a

little blurry, and not because I was teary-eyed (I wish I could cry, but it certainlydoesnt come as easily as one would like,even in poignant situations as this). Still, Iremember making my last antique

typewriter purchase (a 1924 UnderwoodStandard 5), receiving a couple oftypewriters from a couple of dear friends (a1904 L.C. Smith & Brothers Typewriter 1 from Bishop Richardson and a beautifulsilverish Royal that I believe is from the

1930s from Brother Birchand that makestwelve typewriters to my name, by theway), eating at the Chandler Carls Juniorone last time (and waving goodbye to ourdear friend the cockroach who by that timehad found refuge inside of the Cokemachine instead of on the ceiling where wefirst met him), saying farewell to manydear people and longing to be able to sayfarewell to many more, packing up myeffects (all except for a dratted USB cable

made for my cameraand I evenaccidentally packed Elder Ashs brown shoepolish; I dont even like brown shoes!), andspending time with the mission president,his wife, and the rest of the missionariesgoing home with me; this was a verypoignant experience that I will certainlynever forget and that I will always treasuredear (except for that dratted assistant tothe president still looming over myshoulder, his gruff post-pubescent voice full

of ego and pomp and empty authority and amisunderstanding of what missionary workis actually about and for Whom it is actuallydone).

I would outline every moment I canremember spent in Arizona striving to helpsome few souls find the same source ofwholeness I have and am still finding, from

looking so silly sporting a tie whipping inthe wind as I torpedoed my way down thehill of Fry Road going west in Ahwatukee tofeeling the silent glory of understandingand subsequent change permeate thehumble room of a girl desperately in need ofmore to her existence to the moment thatshe and others showed their determinationto be changed by Someone higher thanthemselves by making a very sacredpromise in a very simple way in a very

simple room in very plain waterand yeseven down to those many times that thosemany wonderful people whose eyes weredarkened by hate or envy or malcontent ormisunderstanding or all of the aboveviciously or even subtly attacked the coreof everything I hold dear (and everythingthey hold dear, though they dont realizeit). I would outline those moments, but itfirstly would take me quite a while to do soand secondly I dont want to just give away

for free everything that will one day bewritten in my biography and sold for toomuch money in Deseret Book stores acrossthe globe.

Instead I will quote a little somethingfrom the Lost Issue of the Saint CedricNews that I wrote but never published: Ihave striven to serve faithfully for thelength of my missionary call. I look behindme with glistening eyes, grateful and joyfulfor the experiences, both good and bad, that

I was profited. There are many souls whomI have loved stronger than death. To them Ihave proved faithfulto them I amdetermined to prove faithful, until God callsme to resign up my breath (Joseph Smithin History of the Church5:127). I shall usemy own words True it is they were firstproclaimed by apostles and prophetsbut they are now mine, for the Holy Spiritof God has borne witness to me that they


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are true, and it is now as though the Lordhad revealed them to me in the firstinstance I testify that he is the Son of theLiving God and was crucified for the sins ofthe world. He is our Lord, our God, and ourKing. This I know of myself independent ofany other person in a coming day I shallfeel the nail marks in his hands and in his

feet and shall wet his feet with my tears.But I shall not know any better then than Iknow now that he is Gods Almighty Son,that he is our Savior and Redeemer, andthat salvation comes in and through hisatoning blood and in no other way (ThePurifying Power of Gethsemaneby Bruce R.McConckie; May 1985 Ensign). Iveintended to not be one who tries to infusereligious or spiritual things into everyconversation so that I can seem wise and

special and important (I hate the flauntingof sacred things for personal recognition orgainpriestcraft!), but I can tell you that Iknow these things of my own accord, thatno matter what imperfections I or anyother person may have, that does notchange the truth that I know, and I knowJesus Christ lives, loves us, and, even moreimportantly than the typical hearts-and-flowers God loves us! phrase so manyChristians toss around like M&Ms in a

catch-them-in-your-mouth contest, I knowthat He can and will changeus into better,greater, more glorious beings (like Him) ifwe only allow Him and do our part insimply trying. He is in everything. If thereare doubts, I invite you to explore therealms of light, not to be afraid of the truth.

Now, I arrived home on October the16th in the year 2012 at around 10:00 AMMST. After sitting in the back of a van forabout a half hour listening to Bianca and

Emma tell me stories, I entered my dear old1976 home complete with its red bricksand white siding and monochromaticallybrown treehouse. Richard (my brother)broke open the Apple Beer (a non-alcoholicrich Bavarian carbonated drink made fromreal Sicilian Apples and brewed in theRocky Mountains since the 1960s), and Icalled out for Julie, my beloved border

collie (whose snores I can now hearvibrating from the room upstairs).

Julie emerged from one of the roomsshe likes to sleepin and hobbledover to my armssomewhat morestiff than I

remember her.We snuggled fora whilesomething I haddreamt about forquite some time.She nestled herhead againstmine as if to say that she was silentlyenthralled for my return. Walks, treats, andtummy rubs were inevitable (we did just

last night take quite a long walk to see oneof the midnight trains pass by where theold Sugar Factory used to be, and wearrived at precisely the right time).

Since that time I have busily beendoing something just about every minuteIve had, so I plead for your forgiveness ifIve not returned an email, text, or phonecall. Ive tried to be vigilant about it, but Iknow of at least a few of you dearArizonans and even a few dear Utahns who

may feel neglected. Never fearI never letgo, and youll probably one day wish youhad never met me.

Weeks before I returned home Iactually had two occupatorial duties (or, forthe common tongue, jobs) secured forwhen the time came, and there was onepotential place of employ that ended upbecoming an actual place of employ, whichif Ive done my arithmetic correctly, givesme three jobs, all of which have amounted

to a rough average of 50-60 hours perweek. Now we know how that poor geek atGeekbox felt when he pompously told usthat he works 60 hours a week andexpected that to be a reason that you and Ishouldnt be employed at his store, eh, GusGus? Well, we can see where that kind ofattitude landed him: apparently hislocation closed down. Goodbye, Geekbox


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(no, youre not supposed to understandthat unless your pseudonym is Gus Gus).

The first and foremost position I fill iswhat I lovingly refer to as the residentnerd at a high school called Innovations inthe Salt Lake City School District. I do alittle bit of everythingfrom crashing theserver to helping students and teachers

with their technological ailments toemailing software companies aboutpurchasing their products to even remotelycontrolling or shutting down studentscomputers when I notice theyre doingthings they ought not to be. My adopteduncle Lars works at the school as anotherresident nerd and animation/programmingteacher, and he did a little magic so I couldbe his minion. I enjoy the work thoroughly,especially since I figured out how to

remotely make students computers talk tothem (Help! Teacher, help! Im being usedto play games!).

Oh, and all of the computers Imanage and work with at Innovations Highare iMacs, Mac Minis, Macbook Pros, and aMac Pro. Some of you would never believe it(Im looking at you, Mister Brooks). In fact,Im typing this on a Macbook Pro that Iborrowed for the Christmas break.

The second job is at WesternGovernors University, an online schoolbased out of Salt Lake City. What I loveabout this school is that there is no suchthing as the credit hour there (see myvehement opinion on the matter atnerdology.org); ones proof of competencyis based off of, well, competency. Fancythat! In other words, a WGU students modeof graduation is not to sit in a class for aspecified period of time and get a certain

grade on enough tests and assignmentsone actually can work through the coursesas quickly or as slowly as one would likeand then one can pass competency testswhenever one would like, and if one alreadyhas the skills necessary, one can easily skipahead without even worrying about thecourses. There are still idiotic and

bureaucratic (oh, I suppose those twowords are synonyms and I oughtnt to berepetitive. Ah, well) laws that limit WGUsinnovation, but theyre probably the onlyuniversity that is making any real efforts tochange our failing education system.

At WGU Im mainly just a littleminion who calls people that have asked forfurther information to set up a telephoneappointment between them and anenrollment counselor. Whats also neat is

that I and the enrollment counselors arenot pushed to register every possibleperson we can just to make money; wereactually supposed to tell people that theymight not be a good fit for the school iftheyre not prepared for whatever reasontechnologically, chronometricallyacademically, and so forth.

I plan to go to WGU eventually, butone of the screening processes WGU has inplace to make sure people are ready for

their programs is that everyone has tohave attended some college prior to WGUand the IT program actually has moreprerequisites, so Im forced to go to someother school to get these things out of theway. I was originally planning to attendLDS Business College, but Ive become alittle fed up with their enrollment processand some other aspects of the school, not tomention I waited a month with no responseto a question I asked them and then

another week with no response after Iasked again. The one thing theyre reallygood at, though, is telling me how much Iowe them. Oh, and the service scholarshipfor serving an LDS mission is nothing to beexcited aboutonly $750 for the firstsemester. Yippee. Im fairly certain that Iwill attend SLCC for a semester or two, butwell see if I become fed up with them. Sigh


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Educationsuch a beautiful thing yet suchan aristocratically abused thing.

Finally, the last position I have filledwas that of a bookseller at Deseret Book. Isold books to mostly kind, sometimeshelpless, and once in a while angrycustomers. I tried not to push them to buythings that they didnt actually wantIm

not sure how the company feels about that,but I feel a little better about myselfbecause of it. Instead I strove to be a helpfulfriend in any way I could. The Christmashelp wasnt needed beyond this week,however, so I will not be working there thisyear. I was planning to quit as it was,though, for I simply couldnt handle havingthree jobs and no time for much ofanything.

Speaking of no time for anything, I

finally went to the temple for only thesecond time since returning from Arizona.Ive missed it. Its so very peaceful there.

Also, I should like my dear readers toknow that I have begun courting a verydear, dear person. I will spare the details atthe moment as theyre sacred to me and Ishant publish them so much for that veryreason, but she is an incredibly wonderfulkindred spirit, and I daresay we fit togetherlike Lego bricks. In fact, I think wed both

enjoy building something together withLego bricks. Thats a very good adventuringideaI will have to present it to her. Thankyou, dear readers, for inspiring me.

I also have my very own truck, and Ienjoy hauling things such as dog food andwood pellet fuel around (Julie loves herfood, and I love my fireplace).

I intend to start where I left off in mywritingthat is, I was intermittentlywriting a novel for the five or six yearsbefore I left to Arizona, and now I shalcontinue, this time with a finer grasp of thegloriously malleable English language and amatured sense of storytelling. If I could, Iwould pull a Bill Gates and make more than

a living off of my developed and developingskills and skip the corrupted educationsystem entirely except as a hobbyHowever, one needs more luck than skillwhen it comes to the publishing industrylook at Twilighta prime example that noskill is required to become a millionairewhen writing fiction.

Its been nice in some ways to catchup on all the things I used to dotechnologically, Ive begun updating my

dear old desktop computer with two newmonitors and a nice but used graphics card(I highlyrecommend purchasing on eBayyou can get good or new items forconsiderably less!). I intend to eventuallyupgrade my RAM to at least four gigabytesif not eight or sixteen, my motherboard tosomething a little newer and with SATA IIports that all function, my power supplyunit to one with a bit more wattage and an80+ certification, and Id like to add a solid

state disk to run my operating system offof. Also, I plan to dump Windows Vista forLinux Mint 13 once I can organize all of mygigabytes of data. I also purchased two oldservers from dear Brother Goff in Arizonaand have been running a file and printserver off of the lesser of the two; I intendto purchase Windows Server 2003 once Ican find a cheap copy and start running myserver software off of the better DelPowerEdge 1650 server. Oh, and I highly

recommend you switch to the cell phoneservice I have if you want to save quite a bitof cash and if youre not bent on havingcutting-edge technology. Republic Wirelessoffers a flat $19 per month for unlimited


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voice, text, and data; you offset what wouldnormally be around $70 per month byutilizing the Wi-Fi networks around youwhenever youre close to ones you can use,and you get a good 3G network everywhereelse. Republic also piggybacks off of Sprintsnetwork, which makes is so they dont haveto operate their own, which in turn passes

savings down to you. The phone isntcutting-edge, but its good enough for me,and its apparently waterproof, dustproof,and scratchproof (look up the YouTubevideo).

Entertainment-wise, it waswonderful to see The Hobbit at long last,and I finally got to see Tangled after twoyears (I just barely missed it!) with mydear, lovely girlfriend previouslymentioned. My mama also gave me

Despicable Me, another great title that Ibarely missed two years ago, and I have yetto see it. My mama also got me The HungerGames series for my birthday and theeighth installment of Artemis Fowl forChristmas, and I look forward to readingboth of those. Ive yet to see the last two

Harry Potter movies, but I was able to seeThe Hunger Gameswith my gloriously oddbrother and his pregnant wife, and Ienjoyed it very much. I am currentlyreading a book given to me by my lovelygirl with kaleidoscope eyes called Mistbornand I must say that I am enjoying itthoroughly even though it at first seems

like a book I wouldnt enjoy so much whatwith the kind of magic they use and soforth.

Now, I must end my epistle to all mydears both here and abroad. It has beenrather refreshing to write yet another issueof the Saint Cedric News. Please feel free torespond to me personally via emailtellyphone, or even via my blog(www.nerdology.org) if you have neither ofthe above. I will continue writing the Saint

Cedric News until further notice or deathwhichever comes first.

Julie and I send our love and ourblessing to you: a merry late Christmas anda wondrously happy New Year.

Adieu.

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