TheQueen of

Damn GoodAdviceA savvy mom

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A N N E T T E B R I D G E S

The Queen of Damn Good Advice© 2013 by Annette Bridges. All rights reserved.Printed in the United States of America.

www.annettebridges.com

ISBN-13: 978-1482755732eBook ISBN-13: 978-1626600041

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THE QUEEN OF DAMN GOOD ADVICE

Princesses rise and shine—never rise and whine

Self-pity is no party. Perhaps you’ve thrown a “pity party” for yourself at least once in your life. Maybe you know some

folks who throw one every day. It can be easy to justify our sorrow. We feel people have done

us wrong, our life is spinning out of our control, our dreams have been shattered, or we see ourselves as the victim of circum-stances. So we may believe we have good reason to be down and depressed.

We need to leave this pity party because these thought pat-terns are toxic and never worthwhile. They will destroy your hope for a better tomorrow and stifl e you into a martyr complex that will blind you from your purpose and potential. Besides, no one has a good and happy time at a pity party!

I’ve held a few pity parties in my life. My favorite occasion for one was when I felt unappreciated and misunderstood by my husband (although I’ve not had reason for this type of party in many years).

During one of my pity parties, however, I recall coming across a defi nition that explained self-pity doesn’t come from a sense

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of worthiness but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness. It referred to self-pity as the response of unapplauded pride and a wounded ego.

I hated to think of myself as having a wounded ego. Was my basis for feeling unappreciated and misunderstood my hurt pride?

I may not be able to change the behavior and thoughts of the people around me, but I can change how I respond to them. Just the acknowledgement of this fact made me feel empowered and encouraged—no longer the helpless victim.

I remember the story in the Bible about the man healed at the pool of Bethesda (John 5:2–9). Now truly, if ever someone could have been justified in his feelings of self-pity, this guy would have been one. He had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. For years, he had waited by this pool to be healed. The rumor was if you were the first to get in the water when it was “troubled,” you would be cured of whatever ailment you suffered.

When Jesus came upon this man, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”

Instead of a resounding “Yes!” the man gave an excuse of why he couldn’t. He said, “I can’t, sir, for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”

Jesus knew this man didn’t have to get into the pool to be healed. He knew God created him upright and healthy, and these qualities were his innate spiritual nature now and always. So Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” So, the man did. No more excuses, no more being a victim of cir-cumstances, no more pity party.

When we feel the weight of the world is on our shoulders or we feel put upon or victimized, we can do something about our

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plight. I once saw a bumper sticker that read, “Do you rise and shine or rise and whine?” Whining, even when we feel it’s justi-fied, will not help—will not result in healing, progress, or resolu-tion. Quite simply, it’s a waste of your time.

We can learn to stop self-pity when it attempts to creep into our thoughts. It may be normal to at first feel sad or sorry for ourselves when things go wrong. But we can immediately turn our sorrow into positive action. We can surround ourselves with things that bring joy and happiness and experience whatever makes us laugh. We can choose thankfulness as our ticket out of self-misery. If need be, we can make a list of all the good that has ever happened in our lives. We can’t feel sorrowful and grateful at the same time.

Jesus did give us instruction on how to treat those who mis-treat us when he said, “Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person” (Mat-thew 5:44).

A wounded ego and unapplauded pride is not the best in any princess. We can leave behind anything and everything that is holding us back or keeping us down. We can rise and shine to a new day of joy, peace of mind, and infinite possibilities.

Visit www.AnnetteBridges.comFor inspirational books, blogs andresources for readers and book clubs.

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