the power of making decisions right

7/30/2019 The Power Of Making Decisions Right

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THEPOWER

OF


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1. About the author 3

2. Getting started 6

3. Decisions and their consequences 7

4. Making and taking decisions 10

5. How this book will change you 13

6. Real-life decisions 15

7. The right decision formula 19

8. Finding the cost of your decisions 32

9. The decision-making process 39

10. Paying the cost 51

11. Correcting wrong decisions 61

12. Summary 63

13. Pitfalls! 65

14. Workbook 66


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mitesh Khatri is the founder of Guiding Light Consultants (GLC) and SuccessTraining Videos (STV) Library. Under his leadership, GLC has become one of the

most preferred training and consulting organisations in India. GLC serves many

multinational organisations, including Amdocs, Zensar, Forbes Marshall, Atos

Origin, Capgemini, Dow Chemicals, 3Global Services, INCAT (TTL), Fujitsu,

CLSA, Persistent, Cognizant Technology Services, Aviva, WNS, S1 Services, EXL

Services, Novartis, Barclays, Genpact, Glaxo Smith Kline, Aztecsoft, and many

more.

STV Library offers several well-researched and presented training programmes that

are required by big, and even small, organisations. All the member organisations have

been benefitting from the training videos streamed on STV online Library.

Mitesh has acquired a thorough knowledge of behavioural science through research

that has been tempered with more than a decade of relevant and rich practical

experience. Mitesh has also participated in many training programmes to enhance his

knowledge. Some of the certifications he has received are:

Master Hypnotist by California Hypnosis Institute of India.

NLP by National Federation of Neuro-Linguistic Psychology.

Complete Curriculum for Livingby Landmark Forum, Mumbai.

Unleash the Power Within by Anthony Robbins, Mumbai.

Productivity Expansion by Mission Control, USA.

Mind Controlby Hope Academy, Pune.

Trainers Trainingby TAP Foundation.

Silva Mind Controlby Silva, Mumbai.


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Who am Iby Kryon, Pune.

Mitesh has been conducting workshops for individuals and corporate for more than

10 years. He has also been coaching and helping executives achieve their professional

goals. In several organisations, Mitesh has conducted workshops on Building

Innovation Skills, Creative Problem Solving, Business Communication Skills,

Change Management, Time Management Skills, Planning and Scheduling Skills,

Stress Management Skills, Leadership Skills, Team Building, Efficiency to

Effectiveness, Campus to Corporate, and so on.

He is an expert in teaching through experiential games, role plays, presentations and

group work. Mitesh is also an expert in breakthrough experiential tools like Steel Bar

Bending, Spoon Bending, Walking on Fire, and Breaking a Wooden Board. These

tools are very effective in Corporate Breakthrough programmes. During his

workshops, participants have benefited tremendously. They get over the biggest fears

in their life, move on from past issues, and achieve what they thought were

impossible goals in life.

In this book, Mitesh Khatri coaches you through one of lifes toughest challenges:

making a decision, and the right one at that.

The Power of Making Decisions Right, is a very powerful workshop Mitesh offers

management personnel and students. This has helped them take quicker and better

decisions in life. The technique of decision making that he teaches is also very

popular in executive coaching sessions, as it shows how quick and practical solutions

can be taken by executives.

Mitesh has also used this technique to help people resolve many of their personal

issues. He personally uses this technique in many areas of his life and it is helped him

make many important and difficult decisions in his life.

Mitesh says, Our daily life is full of situations when we have to constantly make

small and big decisions, thus my quest for this knowledge has transformed my life

completely. It gave me the power to make right and long-lasting decisions for a life of

high quality. For example, I have decided to work for only 15 days in a month and

enjoy the rest of the month as I like! This one decision has made my life a dream,


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which millions of people are still waiting to create, and yet I created this rich lifestyle

with a well-thought out decision. One of the other decisions was to be a Corporate

Trainer and Behavioural Expert even though I was an undergraduate. Yet, because I

kept working on my decision, today I coach CEOs and directors of multinational

organisations because they know that I can make a difference. If I can, then anybody

else can too, and thats exactly the skill that I want to share with millions of people

through this book.

In this book Mitesh has tried to explain the reasons why people are afraid and unable

to make decisions; why people regret their decisions; how a decision can set our life

right; and, how to correct past decisions that were wrong.

To know more about Mitesh Khatri, his work and his behavioural training

organisation, please visit http://miteshkhatri.com/


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GETTING STARTED

Do you have a problem when it comes to making decisions?

Do you have problem in owning up to a decision?

Do you always look for an easy option when you have to make a decision?

Do you believe that most of your decisions are always wrong?

Do you have a big list of pending decisions?

Are you indecisive because you believe you will regret your decision?

Do you have a list of decisions in your life, which you think were wrong, and

given a choice would you like to correct them?

Do not prefer to not make difficult decisions?

Do you prefer it if someone else had to make decisions for you, so that you

could blame that person if things went wrong?

Do you think choosing between two things is always an issue?

At this moment do you have a major decision which you are not able to take?

Do you depend on others for taking many of the decisions in your life?

Do you always go to your friends for help for many decisions in your life?

If you have answered yes to any or many of these questions, then you have

picked up the right book! Once you read through this book, and use the

worksheets to develop your decision-making skills, you will have sharp and quick

decision-making abilities.


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DECISIONS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES

The pointers offered to you here will help you in your life, no matter what issues

currently confront you. In fact, this may be one of the most important books you have

ever read in your life. Because, the quality of our life is the quality of decisions we

make!

In this book you will learn the power of making the right decisions. These techniques

have been used by the most powerful people in the world, including Mahatma

Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, and all those influential people who have had the

power to make precise, clear, and powerful decisions.

Decision making is a process, an important skill when it comes to taking major steps

and decisions in life. However, it is a process, which can be learned so that we can

control every aspect of our life.

Every waking moment, we make decisions. It is a very subconscious process.

Consider this,

We take our first decision in the morning when we decide when we want to

wake up. And then the decisions continue.

Should we get up looking forward to the day, or unenthusiastically?

Should we start our day with a smile, or by mulling over a list of problems?

Should we enjoy our work, or feel miserable about it?

Should we meet friends, or keep away from them?

Do we keep ourselves happy, or are we sad most of the time?

Do we decide to let go of your anger and control your mood, or let your

emotions control you?

Do we decide to live a mediocre life, or an extraordinary one?

The quality of our

life is the quality of

the decisions we

make.


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Do we decide to live in the past, or in the present?

Do we say No when we want to?

The consequences of all these decisions make our day, and eventually our life.

Our life is under the complete control of these conscious and subconscious decisions

that we make through the day. Thus, it is extremely important that we do not just

understand, but also master the technique of making powerful decisions, so that we

can do so instantly, and reap the benefits of our decisions for a lifetime.

Quite often, we find ourselves struggling with problems that confuse us, because we

are presented with at least two equally appealing options while we are not sure about

which one to choose. The questions could be something like this,

Should I do this, or that?

Should I do it now, or later?

Should I say it, or not?

Should I say it when I am alone, or in a public place?

Should I say the truth, or lie?

Should I use aggression, or be polite?

Should I be a straight talker, or manipulative?

Should I listen, or speak?

Should I do it, or not?

Would it be the right thing do, or should I choose something else?

How can I make the right decision?

What if this decision is wrong?

What if I fail again?


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Should I reveal who I truly am, or keep it hidden?

The list can go on, and such confusions make us weak since we are not in a position

to reach any kind of conclusion. This state of dilemma can be really dangerous

because it saps our strength by using up our energy in just thinking about various

possibilities. I know that given a choice nobody wants to live in a state of weakness

or confusion.

In this book you have a chance to change all this and understand the power of making

the right decisions.


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MAKING AND TAKING DECISIONS

The name of this book itself contains a very importantlesson on decision making. Think about this, is there any

decision in the world which is universally right or wrong?

Think carefully!

Some people say that not killing is a universal right decision. Well, do you think a

murderer or soldier would agree? Of course not. If they did, they would stop killing at

once! A person who wants to murder someone, does so for a purpose which they think

is noble, and similarly a soldier is just discharging his duties towards his motherland.

So, which decision is universally right? Or, is there any such decision?

Lets think about this some more.

My friend got married when he was very young. When he decided to get married,

most of his friends, including me, felt that he was taking a wrong decision and that he

was not old enough for marriage. We all thought that he would face many challenges

and would have to make many sacrifices after getting married. We also thought that

at some point in his life he would regret his decision.

Its now been four years since he took that decision, and I would not say that he has

had a very peaceful and easy married life. During these four years he has had to face

many challenges, such as shouldering the responsibilities of taking care of a family,

running the house on only his salary, having a baby, not getting enough time for

himself and his friends, and so on.

I do not see him have a great life, hence for me, his decision of getting married is still

wrong. But, having said that, he has never regretted his marriage at all. For him, his

decision was and is right even today.

Why is this decision wrong according to me and why is it right for him? We will

understand this later in this book. At this point we need to understand that, a decision

There is no decision

in the world, which

is universally right

or wrong.


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that I think is wrong, could be completely right for someone else, whereas a decision

that I think is right may be completely wrong according to someone. You may have

observed this in your own life. Because, there is no decision in the world, which is

universally right or wrong.

What is right or wrong is very subjective, and depends on the person who is taking

the decision and the situation in which the decision is being taken.

I am sure you realise that one persons right decision could seem wrong for someone

else. So, now think again, is there any decision in the world which is universally right

or wrong?

No! There is no decision in the world which is universally right or wrong!

But, can we take a right or wrong decision in our lives?

Yes! In fact our decisions can be labelled right or wrong only when judged in the

context of our own life.

Dont you already know this to be true! All our decisions are right or wrong

individually or personally, and can never be generalised for the entire world. Because,

we are the only ones who have to live with our own decisions and nobody can do that

for us. That is why we must own up to our own decisions and understand the processof making right decisions.

Another important fact we must recognise is that, on its own, no decision is right or

wrong. As an individual we need to consciously make our decisions right. Thus, you

can never find readymade right decisions to take (although we keep looking and

asking for them, dont we?).

So, it is incorrect to say that we take right decisions we must rather say we make

right decisions. You cannot take decisions, as there are no readymade right

decisions to take, we must makeour decisions right.

Summary

There are two takeaways:


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Seen universally, decisions are never right or wrong

Decisions are right or wrong only when seen in a particular context

We dont take right decisions, we make right decisions

We must learn how to make the right decisions and thus this book is called The

Power Of Making Decisions Right.


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HOW THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOU

Here is what I can promise you will gain from this book, or

by attending my workshops on decision making,

Promise 1: You will have all the required knowledge and tools to make right

decisions forever.

Yes, this knowledge, the tools you will pick up, and the power you will learn to

channelise, will last you a lifetime

Surprised? I know that this seems to be a very bold statement, but I am sure you are

curious to know if it is possible to learn how to make the right decisions.

If you are sceptical about my claims about giving you this knowledge, the power to

make right decisions, well, you dont have to take my word on it. Find out for

yourself! Read through this book, attempt the worksheets and you will be pleasantly

surprised at all that you learn.

Promise 2:You will also have the unique ability and power to convert all your past

wrong decisions into right ones.

This might sound impossible, but using the processes explained in this book, it is

possible to convert your past wrong decisions into right ones today.

I am sure you have taken at least one decision in your past, which you probably

regret. If you are nodding your head, this means you have just recollected the painful

details of a decision that you think was wrong, and you still regret it.

Given a choice, would you like to convert that wrong decision into a right one in the

present, so that you never have to regret it anymore?

I bet your answer is yes!

Yes, I want to change the past, I want to make it right again.

The ability to learn

from our decisions is

the biggest strength

of true leaders.


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I hear you! If this is your answer, then you are in the right place, my friend. Once you

understand whats in this book, you will be able to correct your past decisions.

Promise 3: You will gain the ability to learn and grow from every decision you have

made in the past, and enhance your decision-making powers.

The ability to learn from our decisions is the biggest strength of true leaders. Thus,

their strength to make right decisions is enhanced every time they take a decision.

Most people weaken their own decision-making power, because they do not learn

from their previous decisions.

But, now it is time for you to join the group of successful leaders so even your

decision-making strength will increase every day.

I promise you that the knowledge in this book will help you learn and grow from

every decision you made in the past rather than being stuck with it and regret it.


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REAL LIFE DECISIONS

I once met four friends who were unable to make some very important decisions in

their life. I was able to coach them successfully and helped them make the right

decisions. I have put forward the entire decision-making process using the narrative

technique, because it provides a very valuable real-life perspective.

It was late in the evening when four friends Raj, Tina, John, and Tony were

deep in conversation about pending decisions in their lives, and how they were failing

to reach any conclusion. They had all been grappling with certain problems for a very

long time and were very upset with their inability to make the right decision. They allagreed that everything in their life had been negatively affected by this. Not only

were they extremely frustrated, but also completely stressed out day after day,

wondering what to do next.

Just before they were about to go their separate ways, John remembered seeing an

advertisement for my organisation, Guiding Light Consultants, and told them about

my promise to help people make the right decisions in their life. John remembered

reading about the coaching sessions and workshops that I conduct. Within seconds

they were on the phone with me, fixing up an appointment.

Raj and Tina were excited about meeting me, whereas John and Tony were skeptical

but wanted to give this a shot. After all, they had nothing to lose.

The next day, bright and early, Raj, Tina, John, and Tony stood before me. Here is

what happened and how they all found what they were looking for the right decision!

***


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Mitesh: Hello everybody, how are you all today?

Raj: Hi Mitesh, we are fine. How are you?

Mitesh: I am excellent, thanks. Before we start, could I request each one of you to

tell me briefly about yourself and your pending decisions?

Raj: Sure, Ill start. I am an engineer and have been working in a multinational

organisation. I always wanted to earn a Masters degree in Business Administration

(MBA) so that I have a better career. Since I already hold a full-time job, it is difficult

for me to join a MBA course, which is also full-time. I am also not able to decide if I

should do my Masters, because I am the only earning member in my family and have

three people at home to support financially.

So Mitesh, my problem is, should I leave my job and do my Masters, or should I

continue with my job? I am not able to decide.

Mitesh: Nothing to worry about, we will work on it.

John: I am an entrepreneur and have also been making additional money through

trading on the stock exchange. Mostly, I have made good profits from the market,

however, recently, I sustained a sizeable loss due to a particular stock. This definitely

has been a painful and unforgettable experience. Because of this loss, I have now

become very scared of the stock market. But, at present there is a really good

opportunity, which can get me very good returns and also help me recover my earlier

loss.

But, Mitesh, I am not able to decide if I should take the risk of dealing in stocks ever

again.

Mitesh: Okay John, we will help you make a right decision. Now Tony, give me a

brief of your pending decision.

Tony: I am a senior executive in a software company, and have gained a lot of

experience in this field. I am very good at providing innovative solutions for IT

companies, so I aspire to have my own consulting firm. Since currently I have a


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highly paid job, I have financial security, which will disappear if I start my own

business. I will also have to borrow money from the bank as I do not have enough

funds to start up on my own.

I am in a dilemma. Should I take the risk and start my business, or continue working

in my current secure job? I am married and have a family that is dependent on me.

Also, there are a few loan instalments to pay.

Mitesh: Well, this sounds like an entrepreneur in making. We definitely have an

answer for you too, Tony. Tina, what about you? Whats your story?

Tina: I got married after I graduated and decided to be a housewife. I knew my

husband before we married, and I thought I had married the man of my dreams.

However, after two years of my marriage, I think I made a mistake. My husband isnot as romantic as I thought he was. He respects me and takes care of all my needs,

but he is not spontaneous and also not dynamic enough to stand up for himself.

Since, I am financially dependent on my husband, but not satisfied emotionally, I do

not know whether I should continue in this relationship or leave?

Mitesh: Fine. The issues are not as big as they look to all of you, we can very easily

work on them and find the right decisions. All I need is a short session with all of

you. I can already see a twinkle of hope, joy, and eagerness in your eyes.


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Summary

Raj is not able to decide whether he should continue working, or leave his job and

enter a MBA programme.

John is not able to decide whether he should risk dipping into the stock market, after a

very bad experience.

Tony cannot decide if he should leave his job and start his own business, or if he

should continue with his secure and highly paid job.

Tina is not able to decide whether she should continue living with her husband, or if

she should leave the relationship.

Coming up, is a transcript of the conversation that I had with them all, and with them

you will also learn how to make the right decisions. So, continue reading this

wonderful story that teaches you the lesson of a lifetime.


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THE RIGHT DECISION FORMULA

Raj: Now that you know our problems, how should we go about resolving them? Do

you have a systematic process that we can follow to make right decisions?

Mitesh: Yes, there is a systematic process, in fact I am about to share with you the

power of making right decisions. Since I have taught these techniques to many people

I have been able to design simple and systematic steps.

Why dont all of you take a notepad and pen and answer the following questions.

Today, I will not only help you make right decisions when it comes to your current

confusions, but I will also teach you the technique, so you can always make the right

decisions in your life. Now, answer the following questions:

a. What are the many other pending decisions in your life, which you have been

avoiding, or have been unable to make?

b.From this list, which is the most important decision for you?

c. Also list the wrong decisions you have made in the past, which you regreteven today, and would like to set right.

John: Okay, give us a few minutes.

Now heres my invitation to you, dear reader. Practise and understand this powerful technique

of making decisions and I bet that by the end of this book you will have the knowledge and

ability to make right decisions through your life. Dont just read this book, work with me and

you will be glad you did so. Go ahead answer these three questions before you read the next

page, in which I reveal the four facts of decision making.


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Mitesh: If you have finished writing, we can continue. There are four basic facts

regardless of what kind of decision you need to make. I am making you aware of

these facts before I explain to you the step-by-step process to help you arrive at the

right decision. It is very important for us to understand these facts, so that we do not

fall into the obvious pitfalls of decision making.

Tony: What are the obvious pitfalls?

Mitesh: You will soon learn that too, dont worry.

The 1st

Fact of Decision Making

Mitesh: Here is a question which will lead you to the first fact, Every decision comes

with a cost, is that true or false?

After thinking for a while, everybody said, True! Every decision has a cost.

Mitesh:: Thats right. Every decision comes at a cost, no matter how small or big. We

might not be able to see it sometimes, but it is always there. The difference can be in

the type of the cost, but it is always there. I am sure you have heard that every action

has an equally powerful reaction.

Everyone nodded.

Mitesh: Let me explain this with an example. I have a friend called Seema, who was

working as a personal secretary for a senior executive in an IT company. Seemas

boss used to give her a lot of his personal work, which Seema did not like to do. I

helped her realise that there is a cost to saying yes as well as a cost to saying no. If

she continued to say yes to her boss whenever he gave her his personal work, then

the cost is that she does not like working for him and is upset. Also, the cost is that

she was developing a strong dislike towards herself and her boss, which is not a good

feeling.

If she says no to her boss, then he might start disliking her, which she has been

afraid of.


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I explained to her that every decision comes at a cost. In fact, not taking a decision is

also a decision and that too comes at a cost. Once she understood this, she realised

that there is no way to run, there is a cost to each option.

Later, I explained the entire decision making technique to her, which helped her make

the right decision. At the end, to my surprise, she actually chose to do her bosss

personal work. But, the difference was that now this was her decision and she is very

happy with it. Just like Seema, we too must realise that every decision comes at a

cost. So, do we all understand the first fact?

The four friends nodded.

The 2nd


Mitesh: We have understood that every decision has a cost. Now to discover the

second fact, answer this question.Is the cost an option, or a reality?

Tina: I think it is an option.

Raj: How can cost be an option? The cost is a reality that we cannot deny. Since we

have already agreed and understood that every decision has a cost whether we like it

or not, then it has to be reality.

Mitesh: You are absolutely right, Raj. The cost is not an option, it is a reality! Just

the way the law of gravity exists, the cost of every decision also exists, whether we

like it or not. No matter how hard we look for a decision without any cost, we wont

find one, because the cost is not an option.

If you get married then there is a cost to the marriage. The cost will pinch you if you

are not having a great life, but if you have a brilliant satisfying marriage then you

wont feel the cost, but it is still there, although you dont notice it.

Tina: What is the cost of a great married life?

Mitesh: Even if you have a great married life, you still have to make some

compromises and adjustments with the new family members, new lifestyles, a new

home, new life partner, accepting his/her habits some of which you cannot change.

The difference is, since you are enjoying your life you do not mind doing all these


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compromises, adjustments, or sacrifices. You do not look at these things as a cost you

have to pay, but it is still a cost.

Tina and the others smiled and nodded to show they accepted this fact.

Mitesh: So can you recollect the two facts we have learned so far?

Everyone said, Every decision has a cost whether we like

it or not, and the cost is not an option it is a reality.

The 3rd


Mitesh: Great! Now lets move to the third fact. There are two types of costs that

come along with every decision that we take. One, the known or predictable cost.

This isthe cost, which we can see or analyse during the decision making process or

predict. Then we have the unknown or unpredictable cost. This isthe cost, which we

cannot analyse or predict before making the decision.

The prediction of the cost also depends on the analysis we make while thinking about

the decision. If we analyse the problem confronting us in detail, then there will be a

very low, or minimal costs which will be unknown to us while we make the decision.

For instance, when we make a small decision such as waking up late in the morning,

we know the cost and can predict that we will reach the office late. However, we may

not foresee that the result of reaching late could be working late in the evening and

missing out on the fun that you could have had with your friends and family.

So, you see, there is a known cost and an unknown cost for every small or big

decision of life. Lets take one real life example, which will help you understand all

these three facts.

I have a friend who is a successful manager in a multinational organisation. She has

spent most of her life outside India. She has a daughter whom she left behind in India

so that the child could study uninterrupted by her mothers constant travelling. When

my friend decided to leave her child behind, her intention was that her child should

learn Indian culture and values, which can be learnt best by living in India and having

an Indian education.


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Did she perform a cost analysis while making that decision?

Yes, she had done a cost analysis. The known cost was that while her daughter would

pick up good Indian cultural values and education, she would not get the presence of

her parents. Even though my friend would have to stay away from her daughter for a

long period of time, she was ready to pay all these known costs.

Now, since her daughter has hardly stayed with her parents, she is now used to living

her life without any instructions from her parents. However, my friend and her

husband are now back in India and are staying with her. Obviously, the parents keep

monitoring their childs studies and other things, which the daughter does not

appreciate at all.

So, the daughter is now unhappy and does not like the way her parents are interferingin her life anymore. Seen through the eyes of my friend, this is the unknown or

unpredictable cost of the decision that she had taken many years ago when she

decided to leave her daughter behind.

Now, does she have an option of not paying the cost? No! She does not have that

option, she has to pay this cost whether she likes it or not.

This is a great example for us to see all the three facts clearly. How every decision

has a cost, how the cost is a reality not an option, and that there are two types of costs,

known or predictable, and unknown or unpredictable costs.

With all that we have learned so far, are you beginning to understand how to make

the decisions you came here for?

Tony: Yes, I understand now that getting started on my own business, or staying in

my secure job, both come at a cost. Since the cost is not an option, but a reality, I

must start listing the known costs. Although, I think, I must also be mentally prepared

for the unpredictable costs so that I do not get too many surprises in future.

Mitesh: Bravo Tony! You have almost understood the entire technique of making

right decisions.


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Raj: I am clear about these facts now, but I am still confused about which is the right

decision for me. Should I continue working, or apply for a Masters degree?

Mitesh: You are still confused between right or wrong. Let me tell you the real

confusion that people have about making decisions. If you all understand this, then

making decisions will be simple and quick. Are you all ready to learn further?

Everybody was eager and Mitesh could see that they were

now at the edge of their seats. He continued.

The 4th

Fact - Real Confusion

Mitesh: Many people are confused about making decisions in life.

Students are confused when deciding between further education or

getting a job

Business people are not able to decide between expanding their

business, or not

A bachelor is confused when it comes to marriage, he is not sure if the

girl is right or wrong for him

An employee is confused whether to tell the boss when he/she is not

comfortable doing a certain job or project

The whole world seems to think that the real confusion is about right and wrong. But

today, I want you to know that the confusion is never about which decision is right or

wrong. The confusion is never between Decision A or Decision B. The real confusion

is completely hidden and people dont want to confront it.

This confusion is the biggest barrier that stops people from making the right

decisions. Most of us are not able to clear this hidden confusion simply because we

are all distracted by the superficial confusion of right versus wrong.

So, what is this confusion?

All four of them tried to come up with an answer, but after

offering a few guesses, they gave up.


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Mitesh: You will be shocked when you hear that the entire human race is stuck

because of this confusion.

The real confusion is that as human beings we all want to make decisions, but we do

not want to pay the cost happily. Read this again.

As human beings we all want to make decisions, but we do not want to pay the cost

happily!

Thats right. We all want to make decisions, but we do not want to pay the cost

happily. Even if we pay the cost, we pay it with regret or sadness.

Tina, if you look at your problem closely, you are trying to find an option that will

save you from paying the cost of leaving your husband and having to sacrifice your

needs.

And Raj, you are looking for a decision where you keep getting paid as well as get to

do a full-time Masters degree from IIM.

John, you are looking for a decision where you can continue investing in shares with

no risk of failure.

Tony, you want to start a business while you dont want to pay the cost of leaving a

job that gives you security.

All of us are in search of choices where we do not have to pay the cost of deciding

one way or the other.

You all know that you have specific options available, but there are also some known

and unknown costs.

Lets take your example Raj. Let me suggest a simple decision as an option to you.

Lets say you convince your current organisation to sponsor your Masters degree and

give you a part-time job. Would that make you happy?

Raj: I tried that Mitesh, and they agreed to do it. They were in fact ready to pay 50%

of my salary as well give me the part-time job.

Mitesh: Then whats the problem with that option?


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Raj: They are asking me to sign a contract with them, which says that I will continue

with them for three years after completing my degree.

Mitesh: And you do not want to do that?

Raj: No, because then the purpose of the Masters from IIM is lost. As soon as I

finish my degree from IIM, I will get a job with a very big pay packet in a better

multinational organisation. So, I definitely dont want to sign a contract with my

current organisation.

Mitesh: So you see Raj, you cannot take that option since you are not willing to pay

the cost. Thats fine, so lets look for some more options. What are the other options

you have?

Raj: My colleague suggested that I should forget about the Masters and continue

focusing on my job and excel at it.

Mitesh: Well, that is possible isnt it?

Raj: Its possible, but I am not happy to grow at average speed. For extraordinary

speed, I must get the leverage of a Masters degree.

Mitesh: You dont want to take this option because you dont want to pay the cost of

growing slowly, is that right?

Raj: Yes!

Mitesh: Great, but lets look at your other options as well. How about leaving your

job and applying for a full-time Masters programme?

Raj: Thats not possible since I have a family to support.

Mitesh: You are not ready to pay the cost of letting someone else take care of thefinancial responsibilities?

Raj: Yes, thats right.


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Mitesh: Observe and understand that no matter how many options we explore, but

because of being stuck in this attitude of not wanting to pay the cost that we will

always remain unhappy and confused.

Human beings have had to deal with this confusion for ages, and probably will

forever continue to face this reluctance to pay the cost. We keep looking for a free

option which does not exist. When we look for something which does not exist, we

get lost, confused, and powerless.

We all need to stop looking for an option, which has no cost, we need to first accept

the fact that every decision has a cost and it is a reality, not an option. Once we accept

these facts, we will stop looking for an option where there is no cost to pay. Then we

are ready to make realistic and right decisions.

So, have we agreed that we need to stop looking for a free option? If we are, then I

shall now give you the final formula for making right decisions.

Everyone nodded and agreed that they were no longer

looking for a free option.

The Formula to Right Decisions

Mitesh: Now that you know the four basic facts of making decisions, lets quickly

recap them.

Tony: First fact, Every decision has a cost whether we like it or not.

John: Second fact, The cost is not an option, it is a reality.

Raj: Third fact, Costs are of two kinds, known or predictable, and unknown or

unpredictable.

Tina: Fourth fact, As human beings, we all want to make decisions, but most of the

time we dont want to pay the cost happily.

Mitesh: Now that you know the facts accurately. Tell me what is the formula for

making right decisions?


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Tina: I am not sure about the formula, but I think it has something to do with clearing

the biggest confusion about not wanting to pay the cost.

Mitesh: You are quite close, Tina. Does anybody else have any other ideas about

what the formula could be?

Everybody was silent for a while, but finally asked Mitesh to go ahead.

Mitesh: Fine, here is the formula, but make sure you let it sink in before you reach

any conclusions! The formula is simple and you need time to explore its full

potential.

If you pay the cost happily and courageously then your decisions will become right,

but if you pay your cost with regret then your decisions will become wrong.

John: How can you be so sure about this formula?

Mitesh: Very good question. I am sure each one of you would have taken some

decisions in your life, which you think were right and you still think you are right.

Yet some people around you think you were wrong. Give me an example of one such

decision in your life.

John: During my graduation, I realised that I am not good at studies, but I was good

in business. Hence, I decided to leave my education and started my own small

business.

When I left the education halfway through, obviously a lot of people around me were

not happy with my decision. Even today, many people feel I would have done better

if I would have completed my studies, but I still feel I am in business because I left

college. If I would have studied, today I would have a job in a multinational

company, but not my own business. I think my decision was and is right even today.

Mitesh: Do you know why? But, before answering this question, tell me how do you

feel when people ask you about your education?

John: I feel very comfortable telling people that I am an undergraduate.

Mitesh: Do you feel scared about what people will think when they hear that?


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John: No, in fact I feel proud, because today I am doing much better than many of

my highly educated friends. I do agree that education is important in life, but I feel

that the decision I took then was also right. Today, I am very successful in my

business and I am proud of myself.

Mitesh: Do you know why your decision is still right for you?

John: Because I am happy with the success that I have today.

Mitesh: When you started the business did you ever struggle or fail for some time,

like most people would?

John: Yes, of course. I failed quite a few times and had to struggle for a few years.

Mitesh: During those hard days, did you ever regret your decision of leaving your

studies half way? Did you feel that if you had done your studies, you could have done

better?

John: Those days and those small failures were tough, but I never regretted my

decision. Even if I had completed my education, I knew that the struggle and failures

are part of life.

Mitesh: So you think your decision was and is right, despite the failure and the

success?

John: Yes, thats right.

Mitesh: So then, answer my question again. What makes you think your decision is

right even though there are people who still feel you are wrong?

John: I think I didnt mind paying the cost of the struggle and failure that I went

through.

Mitesh: Your decision is right for you, because you have paid the cost of your

decision happily and courageously and you continue to do so even today.

The cost of going through the ups and down of business


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The cost of people having a negative attitude towards the fact that you

are an undergraduate

The cost of working hard during hard times

You have paid all of these costs happily and courageously, thus today you have made

a right decision.

John: Now I see what you mean.

Mitesh: But John, please tell me, has it been easy to pay this cost all these years?

John: No, it has not been easy, in fact it was tough for quite some time, but I knew

that if I went through the hard times courageously then I would definitely succeed, as

I did!

Mitesh: So, one more lesson to learn is that a right decision is not always equal to an

easy decision. That is because it is not always easy to pay the cost.

But since you had chosen to pay the cost courageously in spite of going through

difficult times, your decision is still right.

John: Yes, I completely agree with you and am also starting to understand the

formula now.

If I pay the cost happily and courageously then my decisions will become right, but

if I pay my cost with regret then my decisions will become wrong.

Mitesh: Yes John, you got the formula absolutely correct. But tell me, what would

happen if one fine day you start regretting the fact that people think you are nothing

more than a mere undergraduate?

John: Then my decision would seem wrong. I see your point, if I regret my cost I canmake even my right decision into a wrong one.

Mitesh: Now you got it perfectly!

Tony: I also understand what the formula means, because I can relate this to a lot of

my decisions, which are right for me, but for other people these are wrong decisions.


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Tina: For other people our decisions may be wrong because they cant see

themselves paying the cost, which we are paying courageously.

Raj: So this is how soldiers think when they have to fight for their country, because

they are willing to pay the cost of death courageously.

Mitesh: Thats right. You have all got the formula. So just say it once more for me.

Everyone said, if we pay the cost happily and

courageously, then our decisions will become right, but if

we pay it with regret then it become wrong.

Mitesh: Excellent. Why dont you start listing the various costs for your decisions, so

that we can choose which one to pay and start making right decisions.

Dear Reader, I hope you will do this exercise as well.


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FINDING THE COST OF YOUR DECISION

Raj: But how can I choose the cost?

Tony: On what basis should we make the choice?

Tina: Is there a technique when it comes to choosing, or we can do it randomly,

going by our gut feeling?

Mitesh: These are all very important questions. To understand how to choose the cost

we need to discuss a very important and integral part of our life, its called values!

We all live our life based on the values we have imbibed through our life. All the

decisions of our life are also driven by our values.

John: What are values?

Mitesh: Values are conscious and subconscious priorities that we make. All our

choices and decisions are completely based on our values. Most of our values come to

us from our parents, family and friends.

Tina: I think we mostly inherit our values from our parents.

Mitesh: Thats right Tina, we learn most of our values from our parents, however

values are not static. As life changes, our values keep changing in importance, thus

affecting their hierarchy.

Tony: Hierarchy? How?

Mitesh: Yes, there is a hierarchy comprising the first, second, and third priorities in

our life. Mostly your core values remain the same, however, you will see them

changing their position in your hierarchy.

For instance, when you are a student and young, you will find yourself spending most

of your time with your friends and not with your family. At that age, what are your

priorities?

Values are conscious

and subconscious

priorities that we

make.


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Raj: At that age our priority is having fun with friends, not being with our family.

Mitesh: Thats right. This means having fun with friends is one of the top values and

spending time with the family is the next priority in our hierarchy of values at that

age.

When you grow up and get married and have kids, soon you start to love spending

more and more time with your family, and have very little time for your friends. This

means that your values have changed their place on the hierarchy. The family is on

top, and spending time with friends is much lower in the hierarchy.

Let me share a story with you. I have a friend called Maria. She used to take care of

herself very well and also used to shop a lot for herself. When she became a mother,

her focus shifted on to her kid. She started taking care of her kid more than she usedto take care of herself. Most of her shopping is now for her kid than for herself. What

has changed? Her values have changed their position on the hierarchy. Caring for the

family has become her most important value.

Tony: I understand this, but what are values but how do we realise what our values

are?

Mitesh: Explaining values will require a very long conversation to understand all its

facets, which we will not be able to cover now. However, I will briefly explain how

you can find your values and how you can understand what another persons values

are. This brief explanation will give you a fair idea about your values and thus help

you choose your cost appropriately and make the right decisions.

A simple way to find out your values is by checking what are you fighting for, or

defending. You will find that you always fight for your values. Of course, this is not

the best or the only way to arrive at a list of your values, but it can definitely give you

a fair idea of it.

Lets do a small and quick question-answer session. You need to think about the

problem I throw at you. And, you need to justify your answers.

Would you like to keep your child in crche (day care centre) so that you and your

spouse can work and make money?


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Raj: No, I would not like to bring up my child in a crche. Instead, I would prefer

one of us taking care of our child. I do not mind if we make less money, but for me

my child is more important.

Tina: I would not mind sending my child to a crche, because for me my career is as

important as my husbands career. For me, giving the best facilities to my child is

also important, hence I would like to work and make more money for my child.

Tony: I agree with Raj, I would not want anybody else bringing up my child. I would

love it if my wife were to stay at home and take care of our child.

John: I am not yet married, so I cant comment on this. But for me, my wife and

child would be equally important, so if she prefers working instead of babysitting

then I would let her do that. I would not make her sacrifice her dreams to fulfil mydreams.

Mitesh: Wow, excellent replies! Now can you tell me who is right and who is wrong?

John: Well, we all are right according to what we value the most. Although, nobody

is really completely right or wrong.

Mitesh: Excellent, John. Universally, there is no single right or wrong decision for

anything, decisions are right or wrong only when seen on a case by case basis.

No one is wrong here because you have all answered this question based on your

value systems. Whichever value is your top priority, you defended it and accordingly

took your decision.

Raj is already willing to pay the cost of making less money, but he would rather have

his child brought up by him and his wife and not a babysitter. He made this decision

right by choosing his cost based on his values. For him, the family is on top, and

growth and success is secondary.

Tony agreed with Raj because his value hierarchy is the same as Raj, and thus their

decisions are the same. They immediately chose their cost happily and courageously.

For Tina, her decision is to send the child to the crche, because she values and

respects her career as much as her husbands. Besides, she also values the comfort


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and success that her career would make possible for her child. Based on her most

important values, she has made her decision right and no argument can make her

wrong.

Similarly, for John, his most important value is ensuring that his wife is happy, and

thus he would be happy to send his child to the crche if she wants to pursue her

career. If not, he is also happy if she decides to take care of the child at home. His

clear values have made him strong enough to choose the cost and make the right

decisions even before he gets married. Well, he is definitely ready to be a good

husband and a father right now!

Everyone laughed at this, but told Mitesh that they were not sure

how to analyse the cost that they would willingly pay, based on

their most important values at a given moment in time.

Mitesh: I have listed a few values in a table, it is not an exhaustive list. If you think I

have missed anything, please feel free to add those values in the table.

I would like all of you to do one exercise before we move ahead. This exercise will

help you find your values. Read through the table, and choose eight values that you

think best fit you.

Remember, the choices should be made on the basis of what you are and not what

you would like to be.

Tina: Could you please give us one more example so that we get more clarity on the

concept of values?

Mitesh: Sure! Now, imagine that there are two friends, both are good in their chosen

profession and work in the same organisation. However, one of them decides to go

home at 6 in the evening, and the other decides to stay back at work till late in the

evening.

According to you, who is wrong? The one who goes back home early, or the other

one who works till late evening?

Raj: The one who goes home on time.


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John: No, the one who unnecessarily stays late at work.

Mitesh: Actually nobody is wrong here. They just have different value systems that

are organised according to their chosen hierarchy. One believes in leaving home early

for spending time with his family and the other believes in working extra to realise

his ambitions. One values his family more than work, and the other values his

ambitions more than his family, in that moment of their life.

Since Raj defended the person who works late, Raj values working hard over

spending time with his family, whereas John, you value your family more and believe

in going home at an appropriate time.

So, you see, we all make our decisions right by choosing to pay our cost happily and

courageously. However, we will be choose that cost only when it is clearly alignedwith our values. When we choose to pay a cost that comes with a decision that goes

against our values, we will most certainly regret that cost in the near future and this

makes our decisions wrong.

Lets take one more example. If you ask students, what are your priorities or values in

life? They will tell you studies, a good career, and having fun. But often, you will find

students missing their classes for a movie or a party. Theoretically, they might

mention different values to you, but their actions demonstrate different values or

priorities. So they are really unclear about what they really value. Do they want to

prioritise having fun over being successful? The moral of the story is, please check

your actions before finalising your values. As our actions are a reflection of our true

values.

Now that you all are clear on how to choose values, please start the exercise and

choose the values yourself.

Dear Reader, why dont you join us! Please choose the eight values that you hold

dear over the others in the list, and continue reading only after you have done

this.


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Values

Dependable Family Impulsive

Passion Integrity Fun

Understanding Trust Team Player

Creative Fairness Leaving a Legacy

Adaptable to change Achievement Accountable

Consistency Recognition Maintain Balance

Honesty Credibility Entrepreneur

Career Development Empowerment Risk taking

Respect for others Effectiveness Competence

Customer focused Transparent Commitment

Quality Lifelong learning Freedom

Gratitude Initiative Faith

Responsibility Compassion Peace

Love Justice Truth


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Tony: Okay Mitesh, we have chosen eight values from the list.

Mitesh: Great! Now, from this list of eight values, choose four, and once you have

done that choose only two.

Tina: Done.

Mitesh: Good! These two values are your top two values. Of course, in the next few

days you have to keep checking this list. Are you always behaving in favour of these

two values, if not, you will need to do this exercise again and find your right values.

Okay, tell me what values have you chosen in the final draft?

Raj: My top values are family and career.

Tony: Family and security.

John: Risk taking ability and money.

Tina: Security and Fun.

Mitesh: Now you know what your priorities are and thus based on this you can

choose to pay your cost courageously and happily.


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THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS

Raj: I am so excited today! I am sure to find the right

decision and get out of my confusion.

Mitesh: You have derived your values, so now you

are now ready to work on your decisions.

You need to identify the available options for each problem you have and then

analyse the cost attached to each option. Remember that the cost can be known as

well as unknown.

Raj: I dont think I am getting this. What do you mean by options?

Mitesh: To explain this better let me work with you. Can we?

Raj: Yes, Mitesh.

Mitesh: In our earlier conversation, while we were talking about the fourth fact we

have already discussed your problem and its cost, but to make it more clear lets have

that conversation once again.

Raj: Mitesh, my confusion is that I would like to do a Masters in Business

Administration, but I cant leave my current job as I am the only earning member in

my family.

Mitesh: And you are not able to decide between studying further and working, right?

Raj: Yes, perfect!

Mitesh: Okay! Here are some suggestions that are the options you have. Since you

are not able to leave the current job, join the evening school and do your Masters.

Raj: I found out about this, but if I join evening school then I wont have any time

left for myself and my family. This is the cost of the first option.

While analysing the

costs of our decision,

we can ask our friends

and family to help.

They can contribute by

giving us theirperspective of the

possible cost of our

decisions.


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Mitesh: You have a point, in that case why dont you think of doing the Masters

through a distant learning education programme? You do not have to attend any class

and you still get the certificate.

Raj: I found about that as well, but Mitesh, the certifications done through distance

learning programmes are not as valuable as a full-time course from IIM. This is the

cost of my second option.

Mitesh: In that case Raj, you have only one option left, leave your job and attend the

Masters course.

Raj: I cant leave the job, as my family will have to face financial problems.

Mitesh: If thats the case, then drop your idea of doing the Masters and continue with

your job. This is your fourth option.

Raj: But, what about my aspirations?

Mitesh: Now, everyone, have you noticed the different options for Rajs problems?

Raj: One is doing my Masters in an evening school.

Mitesh: Correct, and what is the cost you will have to pay?

Raj: No time for myself and my family.

Mitesh: List all the other options and analyse their cost.

Tony: Opt for a distant learning programme, and the cost for that is it has no value.

John: Leaving the job is another option, but the cost is that his familys expenses will

not be met.

Tina:Not doing his MBA, is also an option and the cost for that is that Raj will have

to sacrifice his aspirations.

Mitesh: Perfect, so now you all have understood what I mean by available options

and analysing their costs. Remember, there may not be just one cost for every option,

there can be multiple costs, so do analyse carefully.

While analysing the costs of our decision, we can ask our friends and family to help.

They can contribute by giving us their perspective of the possible cost of our

decisions.


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Sometimes, other people are able to see what we cannot and that perspective can help

us realistically arrive at the known and unknown costs of our decision. So, instead of

asking our friends and family for what the right decision is, which we have realised

does not exist, we must ask them for what the possible cost of our decisions could be.

However, the final choice should be made only by you.

Now, back to your notepads and write down the options available to you and analyse

and mention the related costs. The best way to do this is by creating columns for each

option. This gives you complete clarity on each option and its costs.


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RAJ: OPTIONS and COSTS

Available

Option

Part-Time

study

Distance

Learning

Leave the job and

study

Continue working,

no studies

No time formyself and

the family.

Value of thedegree is not as

good IIMs.

Family will face afinancial crisis.

Will have to sacrificemy dreams.

Degree is

not

valuable.

It will not

boost my

career.

Family will have

to support me.

Career growth will

be slow.

It will not

boost my

career.

I will not be

proud of myself.

I will get a good

degree.

Family will have my

financial support.

I will not be

proud of

myself.

I can have a great

career with this

degree.

Related

cost

Will be able to

provide a good life

to my family.

Mitesh: Please let me know if you have any doubts, or once you are done writing.

Tina: Mitesh, I think I need your help as well. I am not able to decide on my problem

yet.

Mitesh: Tina, you have two clear options, either continue in the relationship, or leave

it. I would say, you leave the relationship.

Tina: If I leave the relationship then I would get my freedom, I will have an

opportunity to find the man of my dreams. But,

I am not educated enough to get a good job

How will I take care of my expenses?


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My parents will suffer unnecessarily.

His parents will also suffer.

How will I take care of my baby alone?

Will I be able to find a nice person for myself?

What if that person does not accept me and my baby?

Mitesh: I can see that the cost of leaving your relationship is very high for you. In

that case I suggest you decide to continue in the relationship.

Tina: But then Mitesh,

How long I am going to sacrifice my life and my feelings?

I am not enjoying my life

I feel as if there is no life in this relationship

As such he takes care of me completely, but there is no chemistry

between him and me

We have no love left for each other

Often we have nothing to talk about

I do not want to live this kind of life

I want to have fun in my life. I want to have romance.

Of course, there are a lot of benefits in this relationship, such as, all my expenses and

social needs are taken care of by him. He is very sweet and helpful. He takes care of

our baby very well.

Mitesh: Since you are not sure of your decision, let me suggest another one. I have a

third option, but you might not like that as well.

Tina: What is that?


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Mitesh: Have an affair.

Tina: How can you give me that option! I cant even think of it. It is definitely not

my culture and it has its own negative repercussions. I dont even want to go that

way.

Mitesh: Excellent! You now have in front of you all the available options and their

costs. Please write them down on the notepad, so that you can choose the cost you can

pay.

Tina: I have understood all the options and their costs, is it still necessary to write it

again?

Mitesh: Yes Tina, we must always write down our options and costs. Dont skip that

step . Our mind has the ability to overestimate and exaggerate or underestimate or

reduce the cost, hence writing is always good. For example, say you feel like leaving

your husband, then your mind will underestimate or reduce the cost of leaving the

relationship and make you feel as if it is lesser than the cost of staying in the

relationship. So, please always use pen and paper and write everything down.

Tina: Thanks Mitesh, I understand now, I will write it down.


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TINA : OPTIONS and COSTS

Available

Options

Stay in the current

relationship

Leave husband Have an affair

I dont feel happy. I will have my freedom

and be able to have fun.

Too many issues.

No romance, love, or

chemistry in this

relationship.

The opportunity to find

the man of my dreams.

My expenses are taken

care of.

How will I manage my

kid alone?

My baby has a father,

and he takes care of us

very well.

I am not financially

independent, how will I

take care of my

expenses?

All my social needs are

fulfilled

How will I get a good

job, I am not educated

enough.

Have an excellent and

supporting family.

Will I get a good partner?

Related Costs

He is very sweet and

helpful.

Will I be able to fulfil all

my social needs?

Will I be happy with my

new partner?

Will I have such a

supporting family in the

future?

Our parents will suffer.


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Mitesh: How about you guys? Tony, John? Have you been able to write anything?

John: I think I have identified all my options. But, I would like you to work with me,

the way you worked with Raj and Tina. Just in case I missed anything.

Mitesh: How many options do you have?

John: I have two options. Either I invest extra money and recover my earlier loss, or I

dont take another risk and recover my earlier loss through my current business. One

option looks like a shortcut, but fraught with risk, and the other option is almost risk-

free, but will take lots of time.

Mitesh: Lets say you choose to take the shortcut and invest extra money, then what

is the cost?

John: If I invest extra money, then there is the risk of losing that money. I definitely

have a chance of recovering my earlier losses, however I also have the risk of losing

this investment. If I recover the money, then I will be happy, but if I lose any money

then I will have to sell my current business to pay off my debts.

Mitesh: Very goodgo on.

John: If I have to sell the business then I will have to start my career from scratch

again. I will also lose my trust in the stock market. However, if I recover my earlier

losses then I will regain my trust in the stock market, which I had. Its a very big risk

as well as a very good shortcut.

Mitesh: What does your study of the market say?

John: It says that I will recover my money, but then you never know about the

market, if anything goes wrong in any part of the world and the market is affected,

then it can go down as well.

Mitesh: Okay, if you choose not to invest any more money and recover your losses

through your business, then what?

John: Then life will be simple, not challenging. I will not have to borrow any more

money and I will recover the losses eventually.


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Mitesh: Will you be able to recover such a big loss from your current business?

John: It is possible, but it will take time. It wont be easy, according to my study of

the stock market. I will have to sacrifice my current lifestyle since I will be taking a

big chunk out of my profits to recover my money.

Also, my business will be safe. The sad thing is that I will lose my trust in the stock

market and I will not be able to take any more risks in the stock market.

Mitesh: Now tell me, are you married?

John: No not yet, hence I can think of taking these risks.

Mitesh: How will your table of options look? In fact John, while I work with Tony,

please write down all your options and costs as we discussed, in the table.


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JOHN : OPTIONS and COSTS

Available Options Invest more money to recover

earlier losses

Do not invest any more

money in the market

Borrow more money Risk is low

Very high risk No chance of losing any

more money

If I recover my money then I will

regain my faith in the stock market

Will have to compromise on

my current living standards

Will recover my losses Recovery of losses will take

time

Will not have any burden of debts I will always have doubts

about my risk taking abilities

Will be able to continue with my

current living standards

Will never be able to trust

the market

If I lose money, then I will lose my

complete trust in the stock market.

Might lose this money as well

Might have to sell my current

business to pay off debts

Related Costs

Might have to start my career from

scratch


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Mitesh: How is it going Tony?

Tony: I also have two options, either leave the job and start my own consultancy,

offering innovative solutions to IT firms. Or, continue in my current job and give

innovative ideas to my current organisation.

Mitesh: Lets look at your favourite option, i.e. leaving the job and starting a

consultancy firm.

Tony: If I start my own firm, then I will have freedom. I will be able to work as I

want to. I will be very happy and passionate about my work, because it is my passion.

But, I will have to leave my job, borrow some money to start the firm as I do not have

enough funds. I am married and have a family, so this will be a bigger risk for me.

They will have to make compromises, since initially there will be very little or no

income from my new firm.

In the long term, I will be able to make much more money than I am making currently

in my job. My heart belongs to my own firm, hence I will be more motivated to

expand my firm than to work for someone else.

Mitesh: What about your family? Will they support you?

Tony: My family will be able to support me emotionally, but financially its not

possible.

Mitesh: Lets look at your other option. If you stay in your current job, then what?

Tony: In that case, I will not be able to fulfil my dreams of having my own firm.

My family will not have to compromise on anything. There wont be any risk. I will

not have to borrow any money. My career growth will be a little slow and directly

dependent on the employer.

Mitesh: Put all these items in the table so that it becomes completely clear to you as

well.


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TONY : OPTIONS and COSTS

Available Options Leave the job and start a new

consultancy firm

Continue with the current

job

Will be able to fulfil my dreams Family will not have to

compromise

My career will grow faster My expertise will get limited

exposure in my current job

Will be able to add value to the IT

world

My career growth will be

slow

Will have to borrow money to startthe firm

My dreams will not befulfilled

Will have to work extra to make

the firm successful as fast as

possible

I will not have to borrow any

money, hence there wont be

any debts

Related costs

Initially, the firm might not make

any profits, during those family

will have to compromise till

business is settled

Risk is very low

Once business starts running

smoothly, family will have better

life


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PAYING THE COST

Mitesh: Okay everyone, your cost analysis is now

done. I will give you a few more minutes, just check

your tables, and if you think you have missed anything,

please add it now.

Remember and understand that the costs you have written down are only known or

predictable costs, there will also be some surprises when you actually start living your

decision, be ready to face that as well.

Now, based on your value systems, analyse each cost and choose which looks

feasible for you, such that you will pay it happily and courageously. Your values will

play a big role here, hence you need to make this choice without taking help from

anybody. Please do not talk to each other, just read your notepad and check your

feelings. Which cost looks feasible for you, one that you will pay happily? Remember

the cost has to be paid happily and courageously not just today but forever, to keep

your decisions right. Whenever the thought of this decision comes to you, you should

have a smile on your face and you should be able to say to yourself that you made a

right decision.

You should be proud of your decision, and that will happen only if you are satisfied

with the cost of the decision.

After today, your life will change and you will start living these decisions, which you

are making today. Make your choice very carefully and from your heart, after

considering your most important values.

Once you have decided which cost you are ready to pay happily, please tell me and

convince me about it.

John, what is your decision?

If we are making our

decisions by choosing

the cost courageously

and happily, based on

our values, then at

that given moment it

is always the right

decision.


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John: I have decided that I will make another investment in the stock market and take

another risk in my life. I am not married and have very few responsibilities. If I run

away from taking risks now, then when will I take the risk? I am ready to risk all my

money to recover my losses. I will pay my cost happily even if I lose my money

again. I am happy with my decision and will always be happy with it.

Mitesh: If you lose the money then you said you will have to sell your current

business. Would you be happy to sell your business as well?

John: I wont say I will be happy to sell my business, but I will face the situation

courageously and will never regret this decision of investing extra money.

I will courageously start my new life, if I ever have to do that. I know I can make it.

One failure cannot stop me from being successful.

Mitesh: I knew you would make that choice because risk taking is your highest

value.

John: If you knew that, then why did you not tell me that right at the start!

Mitesh: I wanted you to make the decision, not me. And then you wouldnt have

taken any interest in learning this beautiful process. You will now be able to use this

technique all your life, for all your decisions in life.

In fact, let me share with you how this knowledge of making decisions can help you

in the stock market, even in the long run.

Everybody was interested to hear this unexpected new

piece of information.

Mitesh: Warren Buffet, the man who made the largest amount of money in the stock

business says, We never manage money, we manage our decisions. This is not his

exact words, but what I have understood of his philosophy.

Lets take an example here. If we decide to buy 100 stocks of Reliance Industries

today for Rs. 500 each, then as per this technique we learned today, we must first

analyse the cost involved. In the stock market this is known as Stop Loss and Stop

Profit. You must decide how much money you can risk if you were to lose it, and


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how much money you want to make as profit from Reliance Industries. This analysis

should happen before buying the stock, not after buying it.

Most people who invest in the stock market, work on tips or rumours. But people, like

Warren Buffet, who are good investors, study and understand all aspects of the stock,

which includes the history of the organisation, political influences, the leaders in the

organisation, etc. Based on their study they answer the following two questions,

What is the maximum cost/loss that I am willing to pay?

What is the maximum profit I want to make from this stock?

Based on the study, they derive answers, and based on the answers they decide the

Stop Loss and Stop Profit for each stock they buy.

Before buying 100 stocks of Reliance Industries, we must study the market and

analyse the Stop Loss and Profit margin. Say we conducted the study and decided to

keep Rs.10 per stock as Stop Loss and Rs.50 per stock as Stop Profit.

After a month, this stock touches Rs.550 and we decide to sell this stock and make

our profit as planned. But a friend advises us to hold on to this stock for few more

days as he feels this stock will go higher.

Based on the information provided by this friend, we must again study the stock. Say

we studied the matter and found no reasons for this stock to grow further. In this case

what should we do?

John: We should decide whether we want to take the risk of waiting or book the

profit in hand.

Mitesh: Correct. We should ask, After a few days, this stock can grow as well as

deteriorate. Am I willing to pay the cost of losing my profit margin? Nobody can

predict the stock market with 100% accuracy.

If the answer is no, then we should sell the stock and make the profit.


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Now lets imagine we did that, we sold our stock and made our Rs.50 profit per stock.

And after 10 days as predicted by this friend, the stock grows as high as Rs.700. What

would you say to yourself? Would you regret your decision?

John: Well, I think we should not regret our decision, but consider our decision right

because it was not guaranteed that the stock price would go high and thus it could

have also gone down to Rs.400. Besides since we had decided to pay our cost happily

and courageously, even if the stock price goes high, our decision is still right.

Mitesh: Superb John! You are now getting hang of this technique. But tell me, what

if I said that maybe I should have analysed the market better, because I really may be

wrong.

John: In that case our decision still remains right, as we are still paying our costhappily and courageously. Also, in that moment we could analyse the market based

on what we saw and knew, it was and is not possible to see and predict everything as

we are not God.

Thus, I would not regret my decision, instead I would be happy with my decision.

However, if we feel we could have done a better analysis, then we are simply saying

that our decision was right in that moment and now we see that we could make it

even better next time. This way we get better at making more right decisions in the

future.

Mitesh: Great! That was the perfect answer! I wanted to hear that. What you said in

the end is the final and most important part of the decision making process.

We are human beings and cannot see everything and cannot predict the future

accurately each time. Thus, if we are making our decisions by choosing the cost

courageously and happily, based on our values, then at that given moment it is always

the right decision. Just like it was the right decision to sell off the stock at the planned

Stop Profit of Rs. 550.

This way, by making our decisions right we also learn from them, instead of

regretting the past forever because of wrong decisions.


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John: Yes Mitesh, I do see now that by making right decisions using the technique

you taught us, we can make more right decisions in the future.

Mitesh: Correct! And if we would have regretted our cost and thereby making our

decision wrong, then?

John: Then we would have weakened our decision making power, and instead of

learning from our past we will always be stuck and disturbed about our past.

Mitesh: Exactly! All we need to learn and understand is this, using this technology

can strengthen your decisions and make you learn faster from your past. Whereas

regretting the cost and making your decisions wrong will only weaken your decision

making strength. Also, you will feel stuck and disturbed by your past and this will

never let you move on.

Observe people in the stock market, they buy and sell stocks without conducting

market research, analysis, or even understanding their own emotional ability to pay

the cost happily and courageously. Thus, when the time comes to pay the cost of their

decisions, they regret it and make their decisions wrong. After repeating this process

a few times and making their decisions wrong a few more times, at one point they

stop investing in the stock market.

John: This is very clear now, because this is exactly what happened to a lot of my

friends in the stock market. But I am going to be different as I will implement this

technique to make right decisions even in the stock market. This sounds great,

Mitesh!

Mitesh: Amazing John! Now you understand the meaning of right decisions and how

to make them. What about you Raj, what have you decided to do?

Raj: I have chosen the option of doing a full-time Masters degree from IIM. The first

step is to talk to my family. If they are ready to pay their part of the cost, i.e. if they

are ready to take care of themselves financially, then I will go ahead.

Mitesh: Very good, will you be able to see your family struggling?


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Raj: I wont say I will be happy to see my family struggling, but I will be happy

because after two years I will be able to give them a better lifestyle for the rest of my

life. Those two years I will face the cost of our struggle with courage.

Mitesh: All the very best, and I am sure your family will support you. However, if

they refuse to support you, then what?

Raj: I thought about this as well. I am sure my family will support me and let me

fulfil my dreams, because they have always supported me. However, if they feel they

are not in a position to support me, then I will continue with my job and drop the idea

of doing the degree, till they are ready. I will be happy in both situations, since I will

pay the cost courageously, and make my decision right.

Mitesh: Excellent, I can see the confidence. I am sure your family will support you.Your cost is also aligned with your values. Your values were family and career right?

Raj: Right!

Mitesh: Tina! Have you reached a decision?

Tina: Yes Mitesh, I have decided to live in the current relationship, because the cost

of leaving the relationship is very high and I do not think I can pay that cost happily. I

will continue in the current relationship and will find different ways of having funwithin it.

Mitesh: What if the thought of having no romance in your life haunts you again?

Tina: That is almost certain, but then I will stop indulging in those thoughts and find

different ways of finding fun in my relationship. I will face the thought courageously

and happily. I know that my husband loves me, and I just need to acknowledge the

way he loves me, rather than being stuck about how I want it.

Besides, I have realised that even if I get married to someone else, I shall have some

costs to pay there as well. The cost will be different, but my habit of regretting the

cost will make my decision wrong again in the next relationship also.

So, I would rather learn and train myself to pay the cost courageously. I know that my

husband is not as romantic as I want him to be. But I am sure I am not as perfect as he


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wanted me to b

the power of making decisions right

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